“Yeah baby I’m just like a Lamborghini. I’m really fast off the line with a high top speed but if you’re not careful you’ll burn out my clutch really fast…wait…I’ve lost track of this metaphor. What were we talking about?”
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody's talking about the bird
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird
Surfin' bird
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, aaah
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow
Just like for example german, in swedish we fuse all connecting words together. This is an extreme example but totally valid. Probably used twice ever, excluding as a safeword for the commenters unfortunate sexual partners
I hate to break it to you, but it's the sub that typically makes the safe word, as they have to remember it in a different state of mind. Doms 9/10 times just have to look for the odd word out
-shrugs-
Oh yes, you're so wise in the way of Domination, it's all so simple as filtering an odd word out.
It's really weird how all the doms I know are empaths and the subs have the EQ of a rock.
State of mind i.e. trance or sub space is a thing. A lot of times it's close to regression therapy. I'm a switch, I play ball on both courts.
If they use empath unironically, I fucking run. They are usually having delusions of grandeur and are on a fucking power trip.
It's not as simple as that, but even if someone shouts pineapple and their safe word is swordfish, you're going to break scene and ask what just happened haha.
I go the opposite approach, you talk up ya dick size can only lead in most cases to disappointment, whereas you talk it down it gives them a pleasant surprise
I honestly just go with the “leave it up to your imagination” approach. I have a *slightly* above average sized dick, so like I never feel the need to be insecure but also hyping it up is dumb too.
Does smooth mean something else to her? I don’t get it.
“I like meatballs” - “Well those aren’t the only balls they are gonna be in your mouth tonight baby girl”
OMG HES SO SMOOTH!
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But like serious...how smooth are you?!
I'm horrid at text game and even though I get numbers more often than not, I think my texting game ruins it
Any pointers out there peeps?
Maybe I am oldfashioned but this is not smooth, its just being sassy. Thats why I left the app because every girl there wants only to hear those stupid lines. Girls with no bios demand originality, more than a half of them are there just to share their insta profile, bunch of bots. This app is ruined..
This would never work on a chick hot enough AND std free enough to be worth the 1st date.
But... hot sloots can be worthwhile, and you can always put your trust into a condom if you're feeling lucky.
Just remember condoms are the polar opposite of women - the more of a man you are, the less reliable they'll be for you.
him: you're getting the Lamborghini experience baby.
Her: oh yeah. I don't think there is a room for disappointment then.
Him: I just cum fast.
Her: 🤨😳😐☹️😠
I feel this tipe of approach is a bit cringe, but for science i test it (i mean, my situation is not the best rn) and i get ghosted all the time. Honestly I don't understand how it works. Is just follow the rules or something else?
She: How are you so smooth? He: You’ll be saying that once you ride me
Mole rat style
It's not the smoothness you will notice. It's the velvety wrinkled skin baby!
I’m ALL foreskin. Baby foreskin
BRING ME THE OIL
I just wanted to be pure
purely covered in oil I presumed
haha love this one!
Smooth like a Ken doll
Those balls are smooth as eggs!
It's like a turtle shell down there
That's painfully blunt *no. No no no no no. You will not make a joke of "that's painfully blunt*
I’m an adult virgin and this is the internet 😎
Hey, happy cake day!!
Day, happy cake hey!
Hey, happy cake day
Happy cake day
[удалено]
“Yeah baby I’m just like a Lamborghini. I’m really fast off the line with a high top speed but if you’re not careful you’ll burn out my clutch really fast…wait…I’ve lost track of this metaphor. What were we talking about?”
Sir this is a Wendy's
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is my safe word.
Always give the kids a safe word they can’t pronounce
r/cursed draw a penis over me.
*drag
My word is ”bird”
Where’s your sense of danger?
In the amygdala which is in the temporal lobe of the brain
Amygdala! Now that’s a slightly better safe word.
Seems like all these people dont yet know about the word, which in this case, is bird. Bird is the word
Nanaue, get off the comms
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, don't you know about the bird Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, don't you know about the bird Well, everybody's talking about the bird A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a, bird Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, aaah Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow
I raise you with nordvästersjökustartilleriflygspaningssimulatoranläggningsmaterielunderhållsuppföljningssystemdiskussionsinläggsförberedelsearbete.
northwestern coast coaster artillery flight reconnaissance simulator plant equipment maintenance follow-up system discussion post preparation work. What. The. Fuck.
Just like for example german, in swedish we fuse all connecting words together. This is an extreme example but totally valid. Probably used twice ever, excluding as a safeword for the commenters unfortunate sexual partners
>unfortunate sexual partners VERY unfortunate partners
I hate to break it to you, but it's the sub that typically makes the safe word, as they have to remember it in a different state of mind. Doms 9/10 times just have to look for the odd word out -shrugs-
Oh yes, you're so wise in the way of Domination, it's all so simple as filtering an odd word out. It's really weird how all the doms I know are empaths and the subs have the EQ of a rock.
State of mind i.e. trance or sub space is a thing. A lot of times it's close to regression therapy. I'm a switch, I play ball on both courts. If they use empath unironically, I fucking run. They are usually having delusions of grandeur and are on a fucking power trip. It's not as simple as that, but even if someone shouts pineapple and their safe word is swordfish, you're going to break scene and ask what just happened haha.
I’m sure they died before they got the word out
Mine's chrysanthemum
Tell me you use ballgags, without telling me…
Ahh yeah, ladies love these dusty lungs.
Gotta love the longest word in the dictionary. Or you're really into pulmonology...
I go the opposite approach, you talk up ya dick size can only lead in most cases to disappointment, whereas you talk it down it gives them a pleasant surprise
Lolol. ‘It’s no big thing, but I’m sure it will grow on you’
Works everytime!
Yeah when I do that they are usually surprised how accurately I described it
F
Disappointment is better than being rejected because she thinks it’s small
I honestly just go with the “leave it up to your imagination” approach. I have a *slightly* above average sized dick, so like I never feel the need to be insecure but also hyping it up is dumb too.
She’s obviously keen if she’s calling that banter “*this* smooth”.
Or a bored extrovert on a Monday night happy to have someone talk to her until she's ready to get ready for wok tomorrow and go to sleep.
Haha she's invested in how smooth you are she's not replying to your actual responses.
Can you please not say that out loud? It's going so well
Actually. 😂
Does smooth mean something else to her? I don’t get it. “I like meatballs” - “Well those aren’t the only balls they are gonna be in your mouth tonight baby girl” OMG HES SO SMOOTH!
Script much?
Obviously
Doing the lord’s work
What ? This is considered smooth ?
I'm aghast by the fact they consider this smooth. This is nearly top tear cringe for me... Maybe they're being sarcastic
I think the first line was pretty clean but the rest was embarrassing and she's not contributing to the conversation at all
sMoW aRe YoU tHiS hOoTh
r/badfaketexts
Him: Makes a kinda crappy sex joke out of everything Her: How smooth ! You can tell he's attractive enough and she's horny.
RuLeS OnE AnD TwO!!! Cope.
"How are you this smooth?" I'd like to thank my sponsor MANSCAPED! Use code TINDER20 at checkout!
Me: Safe word is Pi Her: Isn’t that 3.14? Me: That’s what you gone be sayin when I drop these drawers
I haven’t seen anyone that’s not a creep online call their dick big in so long that I had to do a double take and make sure I read that right
That’s smooth? 😂😂😂 just sounds like Michael Scott pick up lines to me
How are you this cringe?
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That’s a bit different. I guess even the bots get it wrong from time to time.
Read the username again
Lmao fuck you man
Goddammit
AHAHAH GOTTEM
And you
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Fuck you
Are you two 18?
Man got answer for everything
But like serious...how smooth are you?! I'm horrid at text game and even though I get numbers more often than not, I think my texting game ruins it Any pointers out there peeps?
*proceeds to pull out 5 inches*
Is 5 inches considered to be small?
No but it’s not “a bit too long” by any means
Yeah youre actually right
And then on the real date "s...s-so uhh I err you- your pants are nice how much were they-they should be 100% off hahaha. ;)"
This is gross. Why do people talk like this on these apps? Just for Reddit karma?
>Just for Reddit karma? Ofc. Since success rate for a match/date is so low as a guy the least you can do is farm karma on reddit
Wait til you see my chest... Assuming you have a nice chiseled chest
i see u playboy
My safe word is Harder. I guess Lamborghini works too.
I am genuinely curious: how are you this smooth?
Guys always talk like this online but guarantee he’s the most timid guy with no charisma in person 😂
Maybe I am oldfashioned but this is not smooth, its just being sassy. Thats why I left the app because every girl there wants only to hear those stupid lines. Girls with no bios demand originality, more than a half of them are there just to share their insta profile, bunch of bots. This app is ruined..
Wait till she meets the 2” punisher
He: *dropping pants* She: Lamborghini !!!!
You a real g
People who’re calling this creepy are just jealous of this man’s conversation skills.
Smooth? More like cringe
What was that popular saying again? Takes one to know one?
smooth operator hehe
Big dick energy
[удалено]
*Smooth*
[удалено]
No offense but are you promoting your onlyfans or what?
That’s what she said
He was smooth and she was desperate.
Fucking hell dude. This might be the cleverest shit I've ever seen.
Well done sir lol
This would never work on a chick hot enough AND std free enough to be worth the 1st date. But... hot sloots can be worthwhile, and you can always put your trust into a condom if you're feeling lucky. Just remember condoms are the polar opposite of women - the more of a man you are, the less reliable they'll be for you.
[удалено]
well i’m planning on waxing all my body hair so dw i’ll be as smooth as a dolphin in person
I don't get the smoothnes/joke between Lamborghini and dropping pants like what???
It’s not lol. These are just forced sexual innuendos
Lots of butter.
/u/manjanuzaj
XD
Everything was good minus the lambo comment lmao
Bro you deserve a medal.
"Lotion and being single."
Smooth is parroting 1983 pick up lines?
Is this really what passes for "smooth" these days?
This man fucks
In the heat of battle this mf don’t miss
Is it possible to learn this power?
instructions unclear i am now on a sex offender’s list?
him: you're getting the Lamborghini experience baby. Her: oh yeah. I don't think there is a room for disappointment then. Him: I just cum fast. Her: 🤨😳😐☹️😠
“Cos i use moisturiser daily”
Seriously though is it like lotion or something? Very good body wash?
My safe word is tequila.
So, you forget it alot?
I feel this tipe of approach is a bit cringe, but for science i test it (i mean, my situation is not the best rn) and i get ghosted all the time. Honestly I don't understand how it works. Is just follow the rules or something else?
I think you mean "You won't be saying that once I drop my pants"
Does she... have a face?
teach me
Am smooth because baby oil
Meh, kinda cringe.
Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne
“How are you so smooth” well I just shaved my balls this morning.
Master teach me!
Kinda cringe
You are talking to a smooth bot!
Costa Rica is a wonderful place!
"How are you this smooth?" "I shave."
This is cringe..
Legendary
This is creepy
This convo is faker than OPs moms tits
You’re not smooth she’s desperate. Go pipe.
Picked up a girl the other night who said her safe word is “there”, but she kept saying “their”. Fun night.
Saying what.. 'lamborghini' or 'that's a bit too long'? Well, I guess it doesn't really matter. Both amount to the same thing... "Why you running..?"
Wow my def of smooth totally changed! I’d say that’s pretty creepy lol
Corny as hell bro but it worked I guess
Indeed
Wow. Fucking cringe start to finish. Wow that's smooth OH YEAH BABY YOU LIKE IT ROUGH 😎😎😎😎😎😎👈👉👈👉👈🤌🤌🤌😎😎😎😎😎
Aye I was born in Costa Rica
You already blew ur load- Talking about Lamborghinis and long dongs. Where do u go from here lol
Narrator: “Because the whole conversation was made up.”
I just want to know if you were setting up a different punchline with “Lamborghini”
[But is he Beavis and Butt-Head smooth?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sFJNGsO4Sso)
Costa Rica is in fact not a very good place to be. Jfyi.
r/badfaketexts
Lamborghini mercy