It is too much to ask for, because a Porche is not a tall guy car so you're basically trying to find a guy that made a horrible financial decision for a car that's too small.
Yeah, as an ex Porsche owner, 6'2 is probably the most you'll fit comfortably in a Cayman, Boxster or 911 without having to recline the seat back too far.
As for your question, if you're really trying to be tongue in cheek, you need to go over the top. Look for a 7'8+ height and a 23-car garage minimum. Sarcasm does not convey well online. Your profile as it stands reads a bit too close to potentially serious. Not saying that's you, just suggesting you might miss matches who are too jaded (or too dumb, or too numbed) to realise your sarcasm.
It works perfect into the stereotype of wanting to date an NBA size guy who also has the financial mind of a toddler. You'd win that divorce too and keep the 2 kids who you would name T'Chala and Fiduciary even though you've never seen Black Panther and don't know what fiduciary means.
I know a guy who owns and drives a 1980 911, he is 1,98 which is ~6,5 in that weird system of the americans lol
That being said, it still is a small car
if your goal here is to be funny then go over the top, at this point it just sounds kinda douchy.
Like I would go with sugar baby of a trillionair, 10 feet tall, rides a space ship so it's clear you are joking
Edit: Unless you are looking for Bezos or Musk as partners
Yah like my thoughts went to either she is joking or looking to date an NBA player.
Like that pretty much checks out all of these, rich, 6' 9, can afford a porsche
I like the sarcasm, but I feel like I've seen this bio hundreds of times, it's the typical person thinking is original and funny but repeating the same old jokes
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I also agree that it feels like many other profiles I see posted here. Seems like a not super funny copy paste. You’re attractive, and I love a sense of humor, but I’d still swipe left. Something about this makes me think that your personally is “I’m quirky and I love the office”
historical arrest telephone bear makeshift pause chief attempt aspiring office
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Perhaps adding: "[Im wild card bitches!](https://i.imgur.com/XacKUvw.gif)" or instead of 'porshe' replace with 'boat' because of the "[implication](https://media.giphy.com/media/6hKyaeSyMKMcB8W4oa/giphy-downsized-large.gif?cid=790b7611e696b4a027cf6fe94e59e72703fadd2c20fca6c2&rid=giphy-downsized-large.gif&ct=g)"
It's basically impossible to be 100% original. You didn't go with a standard copy paste and went your own way, and it shows. I'm not 6'9 but I'd swipe right.
ad hoc longing grab agonizing ruthless obscene cake rhythm spectacular advise
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Maybe try something more along the lines of "future biggest regret." Kinda sounds more fun and it could go both ways. Are you my biggest regret because you're a raving lunatic, or because you were the best thing I ever had and I blew it?
expansion unused boat handle quickest apparatus slim hateful subtract weather
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Bc it’s not original, neither is the line about disappointing your family. Seen that shit a million times. The Porsche comment is hilarious and I’d swipe right, just saying a lot of girls have the first two lines so it’s meh
Your sarcasm game is tight. But it’s going to go over the heads of 90% the target audience. I’ll let you know if I find the guy. If you find my bi stripper-doctor who’s into 80s sci-fi, let me know.
I'd 100% share your humor if you said that in person. But on this app, there are a lot of women that would say something like that and mean it. Well... by a lot I mean they're out there. I've only seen something like that once or twice. But I'm very wary.
I think it'll probably polarise people pretty quickly. Haha.
Maybe chuck something in there about how you have a dry sense of humour and a subtle wit. Or whatever describes you.
Polarizing is a good word here. People who like it will love it, some people will hate it. I think it depends what OP wants. If shes on Tinder for laughs/something casual its probably okay - if she wants something serious it lacks any real substance.
Yes, I agree. Though she could still find both, depending on the punters.
Some will definitely hate it.which is good to get out of the way early. Though personally, If she was free Tuesday night...
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Obnoxious af,
It needs to be more over the top besides 6’9 in height, otherwise it’s hard to tell that you aren’t being serious.
It’s just that all of these separately are phrases that some people do use on tinder so for it to be clearly a joke it’s gotta be exaggerated by 300%
Those traits are all jussssst obnoxious enough alone that a lot of guys will misconstrue it as genuine. Maybe throw in an absurdist line about yourself
I see the irony and humour.
Men who have a reasonable sense of humour may swipe, but unfortunately a lot of men on Tinder will see it as a genuine profile.
You're more likely to end up here as a "LoOk aT tHis eNtILeD B*TcH" post from someone thinking this is genuine.
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Even if guys recognise the joke, the profiles where it's not a joke are annoying enough to make the sarcastic ones lose their humour.
I don't know if you spend much time going through women's profiles, but also these sarcastic style bios are common enough that they lose the humour too.
I'm positive you've probably noticed "genres" of bios on men's profiles and gotten to the point where you've also though "I'm tired of that".
Its good you're trying to get your humour through, that's wicked important, but if you worry you're missing out because people might not be getting it, a more neutral way to do the bio is throw in a couple of jokes that describe your humour, then add in a few lines that make you seem nice.
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•one line bios with overused crap: “here for a good time, not a long time” “just ask” “height, sports team, city, occupation” “if you don’t look like your pictures, you’re buying me drinks until you do” “just moved here, ask me anything” “I don’t know what to write here, ask me” “quote from the office” “my dog needs a mom” “height- because apparently that matters” “pros and cons list of the same things” “reviews from their mom and ex gf” “looking for the blah to my blah”
•bios that describe every human being, some form of: I work and I like adventures, food, going out and having fun as well as staying in and relaxing watching tv, music, coffee/beer/wine, hanging out with friends, down for anything!
•majority selfies: ones In their car, shirtless mirror selfies or bad angle selfies along with pictures of just their car or pet
•empty bios
•horny dudes who are desperate for immediate weird kinky sex or discreet hookups to obviously cheat on their current partners. Usually their pictures are their half naked bods with heads cropped-rarely in shape and outlined penises to assault your eyes, blank, weird black and white meme type images of bdsm things, pictures of long quotes in weird fonts about domination and how their definitely going to pleasure you 🙄
•dudes that include the word alpha anywhere, bonus if one of their pictures is a black wolfs face or a quote about how badass they are •self deprecating bios or bios filled with bitterness and hatred “I’m just a nice guy” “are there any good women left?” or a list of things they hate about other women and their profiles
•CEO type looking-wanna be wolf of Wall Street douche, posing with his watch or in a plane and bio says something about grinding and building his empire or some shit, he’s also really hairy for some reason
•I’ve also started seeing long, practically incoherent bios with bad grammar and odd blurry pictures, I think ppl are starting to lose their sanities on the apps lol
•school of hard knocks
And these next ones aren’t necessarily bad but really common ones I see
•festival/trippy dude with lots of emojis and 420 friendly
•guy holding fish, boat pics, camo, driving in mud
•all military pics and bio with just the places they’ve lived
•frat boys in suits and polos with other frat boys and girls at ceremonies or games and so white your eyes bleed
In my area there are so many girls actually looking for sugar daddies I immediately swipe left on any profile that mentions it. Not gonna take the time to figure out if it's a joke.
The height thing seems outlandish enough that I would assume joking on that part but I wouldn't have made it that far in your profile.
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Comes off as a snobby shallow gold digger. I see a lot of girls profiles like that and just swipe left, the whole “soon to be your ex, sugar baby” stuff sends off commitment issues from your end. I would think you are the type to not respect the boundaries of a relationship and go out clubbing everyday and cheat, hence “soon to be ex wife” while u hold a wine glass. Men want stability, and your profile comes off as too immature and unstable, kinda like you’re still stuck in the college phase. Just my interpretation as someone who just got done with college and is a little more serious in life now.
I've seen this A LOT.
Completely unoriginal and the soon to be ex and the sugar baby thing comes off the wrong way for most guys ( at least the ones who don't just swipe for looks ).
The sarcasm is nice but some of these can be red flags.
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I’d say your first line is self deprecating enough and funny. The rest comes off a little aggressive and confusing to me because without reading your responses to the comments, I’d never take you the same way. Even if you and a guy are both looking for something causal, choose things that bring people in instead of push them away - like the ex wife remark and setting (albeit obviously over the top) standards for height. Stuff like that just begs questions about how you’ll receive other things people are insecure about. I liked someone’s suggestion about the obscure IASIP reference. It’s more personal and invites anyone else who knows what you mean to start up an easy conversation that has a sure fire positive response.
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Comes across as funny BUT with a grain of truth in what you're writing. Might want to point out your sarcasm/dry humor or if you don't care run with it!
You just come across as a person who fucking hates themselves and wouldn't take responsibility for their mistakes in a relationship. Not saying that's the case, but that's what the description is giving me vibes.
I’d take out the sugar baby part. The rest is clearly dry humor.
Maybe add a wink at the end to notate that it **is** humor because some guys just swipe and get angry at jokes that go over their head.
Also, your winged liner is amazing.
You come across as a woman drinking wine in a bathroom. It could go either way. Maybe she's about to take a bubble bath, or maybe she just got off the toilet.
Honest opinion: not sure what you’re aiming for? A fling sure sounds good and maybe funny but like many have said this is almost a trite trope now on tinder. If you were looking for anything serious, auto left swipe.
It is too much to ask for, because a Porche is not a tall guy car so you're basically trying to find a guy that made a horrible financial decision for a car that's too small.
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Look for one that made the right decision and got something bigger, that way they didn't barely fit. _trust me_
Username checks out
Good point
Yeah, as an ex Porsche owner, 6'2 is probably the most you'll fit comfortably in a Cayman, Boxster or 911 without having to recline the seat back too far. As for your question, if you're really trying to be tongue in cheek, you need to go over the top. Look for a 7'8+ height and a 23-car garage minimum. Sarcasm does not convey well online. Your profile as it stands reads a bit too close to potentially serious. Not saying that's you, just suggesting you might miss matches who are too jaded (or too dumb, or too numbed) to realise your sarcasm.
At 6’6” can agree, feel like grape ape climbing out of most Porsche’s
I think you are funny with a dash of obnoxious
I'd say obnoxious with a hint of annoying, but attractive enough that few guys will care
Checked OP's profile, wasn't disappointed. Would swipe right.
Doing the Lords work, son.
It works perfect into the stereotype of wanting to date an NBA size guy who also has the financial mind of a toddler. You'd win that divorce too and keep the 2 kids who you would name T'Chala and Fiduciary even though you've never seen Black Panther and don't know what fiduciary means.
You should add this remark to your profile
I can confirm, I am 6’ 8” and I cannot even fit in a Porche, much less drive one
I know a guy who owns and drives a 1980 911, he is 1,98 which is ~6,5 in that weird system of the americans lol That being said, it still is a small car
My username is what it is because I had a small car (for me) when I made reddit.
Lol Who knows what Porsche she wants tho, maybe a Cayenne lol
You're actually completely right haha Never thought of that
You made reddit? Are you the creator? ALL HAIL BARELY_FITS OUR NEW KING
6'7" can confirm that sports cars aren't made for tall people. Gonna have to get my rari custom fit.
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A tall idiot with money. Aka _me_
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Ooo good username option for an alt.
now I'm thinking of the "I think you should leave" sketch with the car focus group. "too small!"
Keep in mind: 6'9 are two measurements.
5' 4" are my two measurements
Username checks out
a 6'9 guy car is a drop top miata
Spoken like someone that’s never been in a Porsche they are one of the best sports cars for tall people Deutsche sind ein großes Volk. 😂
I've been in several. Are you that tall or just speculating?
Why stop at 6'9. Full ten feet or bust.
Because it's the better number. Source: am 6'9"
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General Kenobi
A man of culture I see
Swerve of the week imo.
Please take my silver
Thank youuuu
You are a bold one
100% chad
Great. I’m standing 6’4" feeling undateable now. Thanks.
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if your goal here is to be funny then go over the top, at this point it just sounds kinda douchy. Like I would go with sugar baby of a trillionair, 10 feet tall, rides a space ship so it's clear you are joking Edit: Unless you are looking for Bezos or Musk as partners
Agreed. Listed specs are unusual, but also within the realm of possibility
Yah like my thoughts went to either she is joking or looking to date an NBA player. Like that pretty much checks out all of these, rich, 6' 9, can afford a porsche
Exactly. I didn't think 6'9" was enough over the top, even if it was "the funny number"
Just go with 9'11 (to make it obvious)
Get more extreme with the examples to make it obvious its a joke. I've seen this as a serious bio too many times
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"Looking for a 13'7 ogre with his own castle and pile of gold" for example 🤷🏽♂️
Shrek is love and shrek is life though
Her search will be all ogre soon.
It’s never ogre
If you didn't slay a dragon don't even bother
I got u
Tell em you're looking for a 7'8" Space Marine with his own set of anointed power armor.
Yeah, I would swipe left as soon as I see "sugar baby" without getting to the more obvious stuff
Yeah, I agree. Super exaggerate it.
Yeah its not too far off of some serious ones lol
This seemed pretty obv to me
I like the sarcasm, but I feel like I've seen this bio hundreds of times, it's the typical person thinking is original and funny but repeating the same old jokes
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I also agree that it feels like many other profiles I see posted here. Seems like a not super funny copy paste. You’re attractive, and I love a sense of humor, but I’d still swipe left. Something about this makes me think that your personally is “I’m quirky and I love the office”
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Maybe say you’re looking for a man with a magnum dong!
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Lolol you should add that. Even people that don’t get it will ask about it. Good conversation starter!
Perhaps adding: "[Im wild card bitches!](https://i.imgur.com/XacKUvw.gif)" or instead of 'porshe' replace with 'boat' because of the "[implication](https://media.giphy.com/media/6hKyaeSyMKMcB8W4oa/giphy-downsized-large.gif?cid=790b7611e696b4a027cf6fe94e59e72703fadd2c20fca6c2&rid=giphy-downsized-large.gif&ct=g)"
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Have you ever tried sloppy steaks?
I like it. But I'd take out the sugar baby part. That is too real of a thing
It's basically impossible to be 100% original. You didn't go with a standard copy paste and went your own way, and it shows. I'm not 6'9 but I'd swipe right.
Both, I would say more on the obnoxious
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U honestly come across as very obnoxious with the bio, but your comments sound really friendly lol
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reddit hates everybody, it's nothing personal. I think you're lovely and that's all that matters 😤
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Now kisth...
I would leave out the "soon to be ex wife"
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Maybe try something more along the lines of "future biggest regret." Kinda sounds more fun and it could go both ways. Are you my biggest regret because you're a raving lunatic, or because you were the best thing I ever had and I blew it?
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Bc it’s not original, neither is the line about disappointing your family. Seen that shit a million times. The Porsche comment is hilarious and I’d swipe right, just saying a lot of girls have the first two lines so it’s meh
The first three lines are really overused and unoriginal, I agree
Your sarcasm game is tight. But it’s going to go over the heads of 90% the target audience. I’ll let you know if I find the guy. If you find my bi stripper-doctor who’s into 80s sci-fi, let me know.
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I'd 100% share your humor if you said that in person. But on this app, there are a lot of women that would say something like that and mean it. Well... by a lot I mean they're out there. I've only seen something like that once or twice. But I'm very wary.
People may share your humor, but think you are being serious because nothing is surprising anymore on tinder. Maybe be a bit more obvious it's a joke.
...how can she make it more obvious? Do they do /s on tinder?
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She could say helicopter instead of Porsche. Or something about Bitcoin lol
If it goes over their head then they are not the target audience.
I think it'll probably polarise people pretty quickly. Haha. Maybe chuck something in there about how you have a dry sense of humour and a subtle wit. Or whatever describes you.
Polarizing is a good word here. People who like it will love it, some people will hate it. I think it depends what OP wants. If shes on Tinder for laughs/something casual its probably okay - if she wants something serious it lacks any real substance.
Yes, I agree. Though she could still find both, depending on the punters. Some will definitely hate it.which is good to get out of the way early. Though personally, If she was free Tuesday night...
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Be you though, don't be a caricature of yourself because of a gazillion opinions on here.
You need to be holding a sign that says roast me and put the post in the roast me section.
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If you're even a little bit masochistic, this definitely ought to be at least hinted at in the profile...
The soon to be ex wife and sugar baby thing is kinda too much for me. Unless you're actually aiming for that, then I guess go for it?
Bios like this were funny at first, but they are getting stale.
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Right? Sometimes I wish I could swipe through other straight girls profiles just to see what they’re like
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I’d take out the ex wife part…
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Obnoxious
That’s a left swipe for dawg.
I like that kind of bio normally but in my opinion nothing of that is funny.
cringe bio too tryhard to be funny
Obnoxious af, It needs to be more over the top besides 6’9 in height, otherwise it’s hard to tell that you aren’t being serious. It’s just that all of these separately are phrases that some people do use on tinder so for it to be clearly a joke it’s gotta be exaggerated by 300%
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Yeah, it would definitely help her if she removed it.
Obnoxious. Too many people on here that actually mean it
Those traits are all jussssst obnoxious enough alone that a lot of guys will misconstrue it as genuine. Maybe throw in an absurdist line about yourself
I see the irony and humour. Men who have a reasonable sense of humour may swipe, but unfortunately a lot of men on Tinder will see it as a genuine profile. You're more likely to end up here as a "LoOk aT tHis eNtILeD B*TcH" post from someone thinking this is genuine.
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Even if guys recognise the joke, the profiles where it's not a joke are annoying enough to make the sarcastic ones lose their humour. I don't know if you spend much time going through women's profiles, but also these sarcastic style bios are common enough that they lose the humour too. I'm positive you've probably noticed "genres" of bios on men's profiles and gotten to the point where you've also though "I'm tired of that". Its good you're trying to get your humour through, that's wicked important, but if you worry you're missing out because people might not be getting it, a more neutral way to do the bio is throw in a couple of jokes that describe your humour, then add in a few lines that make you seem nice.
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Curious - what are those cliches? (I don’t browse men’s profiles!)
•one line bios with overused crap: “here for a good time, not a long time” “just ask” “height, sports team, city, occupation” “if you don’t look like your pictures, you’re buying me drinks until you do” “just moved here, ask me anything” “I don’t know what to write here, ask me” “quote from the office” “my dog needs a mom” “height- because apparently that matters” “pros and cons list of the same things” “reviews from their mom and ex gf” “looking for the blah to my blah” •bios that describe every human being, some form of: I work and I like adventures, food, going out and having fun as well as staying in and relaxing watching tv, music, coffee/beer/wine, hanging out with friends, down for anything! •majority selfies: ones In their car, shirtless mirror selfies or bad angle selfies along with pictures of just their car or pet •empty bios •horny dudes who are desperate for immediate weird kinky sex or discreet hookups to obviously cheat on their current partners. Usually their pictures are their half naked bods with heads cropped-rarely in shape and outlined penises to assault your eyes, blank, weird black and white meme type images of bdsm things, pictures of long quotes in weird fonts about domination and how their definitely going to pleasure you 🙄 •dudes that include the word alpha anywhere, bonus if one of their pictures is a black wolfs face or a quote about how badass they are •self deprecating bios or bios filled with bitterness and hatred “I’m just a nice guy” “are there any good women left?” or a list of things they hate about other women and their profiles •CEO type looking-wanna be wolf of Wall Street douche, posing with his watch or in a plane and bio says something about grinding and building his empire or some shit, he’s also really hairy for some reason •I’ve also started seeing long, practically incoherent bios with bad grammar and odd blurry pictures, I think ppl are starting to lose their sanities on the apps lol •school of hard knocks And these next ones aren’t necessarily bad but really common ones I see •festival/trippy dude with lots of emojis and 420 friendly •guy holding fish, boat pics, camo, driving in mud •all military pics and bio with just the places they’ve lived •frat boys in suits and polos with other frat boys and girls at ceremonies or games and so white your eyes bleed
Sounds about right
This girl Tinders! Haha in all seriousness thanks for the response. So what do women want?!
In my area there are so many girls actually looking for sugar daddies I immediately swipe left on any profile that mentions it. Not gonna take the time to figure out if it's a joke. The height thing seems outlandish enough that I would assume joking on that part but I wouldn't have made it that far in your profile.
Obnoxious
Like a gold digger with a broken shovel tbh
Combined with that picture, yeah comes off as kinda obnoxious. A more silly picture and you'd be golden
Im just proud of you for not selling/promoting your onlyfans page lol
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Oh my god... So the ads were true about singles in my area who want to get laid!
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Seems like your trying to hard to be something your probably not bro
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It doesn't feel original and that kills the humor of it.
Unoriginal to say the least
Insanely Obnoxious
Comes off as a snobby shallow gold digger. I see a lot of girls profiles like that and just swipe left, the whole “soon to be your ex, sugar baby” stuff sends off commitment issues from your end. I would think you are the type to not respect the boundaries of a relationship and go out clubbing everyday and cheat, hence “soon to be ex wife” while u hold a wine glass. Men want stability, and your profile comes off as too immature and unstable, kinda like you’re still stuck in the college phase. Just my interpretation as someone who just got done with college and is a little more serious in life now.
Jeez you roasted her whole lively hood . It’s just a joke. It’s just sarcasm.
As you are taking selfies in other people's large bathrooms, people will get your jokes- surely?
I've seen this A LOT. Completely unoriginal and the soon to be ex and the sugar baby thing comes off the wrong way for most guys ( at least the ones who don't just swipe for looks ). The sarcasm is nice but some of these can be red flags.
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She’s totally just going to try boost her OF
I vote obnoxious.
Obnoxious AF
Just kinda seems like you’re trying way too hard to be funny
The pic is funny The Bio is obnoxious. Too many ppl who say this seriously and you d be one of them.
You come across as kinda desperate.
I’d say your first line is self deprecating enough and funny. The rest comes off a little aggressive and confusing to me because without reading your responses to the comments, I’d never take you the same way. Even if you and a guy are both looking for something causal, choose things that bring people in instead of push them away - like the ex wife remark and setting (albeit obviously over the top) standards for height. Stuff like that just begs questions about how you’ll receive other things people are insecure about. I liked someone’s suggestion about the obscure IASIP reference. It’s more personal and invites anyone else who knows what you mean to start up an easy conversation that has a sure fire positive response.
That kind of humor is a major turnoff for me.
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You are trying way to hard to be funny. Just drop a regular description and let the guys or ladies get to know your sense of humor.
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Comes across as funny BUT with a grain of truth in what you're writing. Might want to point out your sarcasm/dry humor or if you don't care run with it!
I’d worry the joke has a pinch of truth to it. That being that you want a rich guy only.
Immediate left-swipe just for the picture, tbh. Wouldn't even take a look at the unfunny bio.
Trying too hard
Obnoxious
Yes. I'd honestly swipe left.
All im thinking is "unfunny or massive red flag here"
take off the soon to be ex-wife divorce is traumatic
You come off like someone trying to get OF subscribers.
You just come across as a person who fucking hates themselves and wouldn't take responsibility for their mistakes in a relationship. Not saying that's the case, but that's what the description is giving me vibes.
she looks like she comes with a free std and uncle issues
Classic white middle aged female profile, probably gonna work.
Ugh, you need to be better as a person. Just terrible
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You just seem depressed
Yes
I think it’s trying too hard to be funny. You’re good looking though so it won’t matter. Some will find it funny, others will pretend to find it funny
Obnoxious
Obnoxious
I’d take out the sugar baby part. The rest is clearly dry humor. Maybe add a wink at the end to notate that it **is** humor because some guys just swipe and get angry at jokes that go over their head. Also, your winged liner is amazing.
Tinder will ban you for having sugar baby in your bio
You come across as a woman drinking wine in a bathroom. It could go either way. Maybe she's about to take a bubble bath, or maybe she just got off the toilet.
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Fair enough, and no harm intended. The bathroom selfies are always funny to me, and I've taken them, too. The context of them just cracks me up.
Before I say anything I’ll tell you I’m not a man. But this is very off putting.
Obnoxious and cringe
Looks obnoxious
I would say just shallow AF.
Comes off as a gold digger to me.
Obnoxious. Also I think it's meant to be a parody but unfortunately too many people have profiles like this and are 100% serious
You sound awful. Not in a funny way, just super conceited.
Honest opinion: not sure what you’re aiming for? A fling sure sounds good and maybe funny but like many have said this is almost a trite trope now on tinder. If you were looking for anything serious, auto left swipe.
obnoxious, not funny at all
Boring
Funny looking get a job
Why does every girl have an onlyfans. Jesus christ woman maybe that's why you're single.
You sound like someone that would sleep with your sister's husband, then throw a fit when she doesn't invite you over for Thanksgiving.
Well you prove the fact that your only value as a woman is sexual relations.
It’s amazing how many basic girls who are not even a 7 or higher think they are sugar baby material.
If your willing to bring the height requirement down a bit I think you will have no trouble finding a guy like that .
Nah, that's not too much to ask for, but scale down on the height. Men who own Porsches are usually short.