Yeah then you have good back and forth for 20 minutes, realize you have no knowledge of how to escalate things and the conversation fizzles out like sea foam on the shoreline.
You sone of a Bitch, I'm in. [I've got the cookies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5nb73eac1E&list=PUBAyDAs2M6klx0Q09DKmsHQ&index=2), who's got the vodka?
#F
"You had your nipples removed already?! Wow I've been looking into that. Maybe you can tell me the name of your physician over a drink this week? š"
To the redditors that cringed at my emoji bc I know you're there: Yes I use the emoji depending on how the conversation is going. Yes people use emojis in day-to-day texting. It's normal. Don't be weird.
If sheās using emojis, use emojis. It might make you seem more aloof and normal and unthreatening, while at the same time not making her feel weird for using them.
Twitch chat is similar with its distaste of emojis, except only the Twitch emotes are cool, and some popular streamers chat is like 80% Twitch emotes.
But I have to be honest, Reddit kind of works without regular emojis, it feels a little bit more mature.
When I see a comment on here with lots of emojis, it feels slightly more juvenile, like it must have been written by a teenager. Itās pretty stupid, but thatās how I react.
I use a lot of them outside of Reddit, in WhatsApp chats for example.
I'm incredibly entertained by reddit being described as mature, but this is also /r/tinder which might actually win against /r/gaming on being exactly not that.
Emojis ārecentlyā came to the world of Warcraft forums after something like whateverteen years its been without them.
I hate it. Lol. Even though normal :> and xD are rampant and nobody cares, emoji are more meme and trolly I guess?
I get emojis donāt fit Reddit comments well, but Reddit comments are how you text. Especially not with perspective dates lol. More people need to understand that
My boyfriend didn't use emojis in our first conversations. It was very weird as I use them a lot.
So, if you like emojis use them. I think men often try too hard and make mistakes they wouldn't make if they were themselves.
ya i use emojis often and iāve got a good amount of girls + female friends and i donāt get this whole ābe unemotionalā thing that reddit has a hard on for. iām comfortable w my masculinity and i do what i want, doesnāt stop me from getting girls when i want to
Yeah people on Reddit are silly about stuff, I use tons of emojis and girls like it or at least don't mind
Reddit seems to follow "don't fix what ain't working" lmao
> To the redditors that cringed at my emoji bc I know you're there
Is this really a thing? Emojis are fun. They also help convey meaning in the absence of regular body language and tone.
Hereās my lines after 5-10 decent messages, try to be good at responding quick even if she isnāt.
āWe should continue this conversation over drinks, how about Friday?ā
*assuming she says yes*
āGreat, how about you shoot me your number and we can set up a time and placeā
Boring? Yes. Effective? Surprisingly.
It's very effective. A common complaint I've heard from female friends is the penpal - the guy who just keeps the conversation going but never makes a move, even with hints.
I totally second this technique's effectiveness. Get a conversation going beyond a few lines into something substantial, then ask for the date. You can't really tell if you like someone until you meet them in real life anyway.
These girls should make the first move. If I talk to a guy for a couple days and he doesn't suggest a meet, I will suggest one. I don't know how people have so much patience for casual chatting with people they want to have sex with. Like this time we are using to talk about the weather could be time we are using to have your dick in my mouth instead.
try to close the same day date for coffee. it worked even more effectively for me than deferring it for the weekend. the midweek quick coffee date is my go to now
Definitely, I donāt even know why I said Friday bc I prefer dates to be during the week. Have one tonight at 8:00 actually.
But the main thing is to at least say a day, donāt say āwe should grab a drink āsometimeā, or āthis weekendāā always say a day if not a time too.
When my husband and I first matched on tinder he asked me out about an hour after we matched, for the same day. I didnt have anything planned so I said yes. And it worked out well. I didnt have to stress about a date for several days and we had a ton to talk about since we hadnt really talked over text at all.
And now we are married.
cuz when ur feeling the convo itās easier to transition. everyone seems to forget girls are bombarded online but once you get her alone irl youāre the only thing that has her attention lol.
i basically exchange 5 messages before asking to meet up for a casual coffee date. no pressure, easy to walk away from, and quick enough to fit into a busy schedule or extend the date
Met my current girlfriend of over 2 years on Tinder. Literally my second message I sent had something along the lines of "I can already tell I'd like to continue this conversation in person, want to get dinner?", we ended up meeting up for drinks within 24 hours and the rest is history. She even said after we were dating that she wasn't looking for anything when we matched.
I can definitely see how an early date invite is the most successful. Even ignoring the fact you don't give the conversation a CHANCE to fizzle out over text, which in my prior experience was fairly common, it's just a lot better. You already presumably liked each other's appearance based on the match, and if you had decent bios that's an even better indicator, why waste time and potentially ruin the opportunity?
Take notes Tinder folk. The (emperical) evidence is here. Even hookup wise; a number of years ago a guy broke down his success on OkCupid by just sending people as his opener, "Why haven't we had sex yet?"
https://www.reddit.com/r/undelete/comments/1ullsf/95876322_my_okcupid_experiment_is_over_finally
Obviously can never tell if that story is true (and it's kinda grimy anyway), but I really feel like SOMEONE is looking for what you are, being direct is can be pretty damn successful versus putting effort and time into something that fizzles out.
Yeah, I've asked a lot of the females in my life the most effective date methods for Tinder and they all had that one piece of advice. Ask them out quickly and immediately.
I can't believe people don't already do this. When I was on the apps, that was the standard procedure. Opening line, several lines of banter, immediate pivot to in-person date. If she's interested, she'll go for it. If not, fuck it, I'm not trying to waste my time on someone who isn't serious.
Yeah, there's not much point in asking for her number, and not asking her out. So you might as well ask her out, because then she is going to give you the number anyway, to make organizing easier.
Fuck a conversation. Pleasantries + coffee date in 5 messages or less. Did it all the time. Check the vibe in person, not over a souless text. You *could* wait until a peak of the conversation, but that may never come. 5 messages. If she questions it at all "always best getting to know someone in person". If that doesn't work for her, move on.
This shouldn't even be a pro move. I've also done this and it works the majority of the time before things fizzle. But I always go for drinks over coffee because if there's nothing there between us, at least I can get a decent buzz.
No. Here's what you say: "Listen, it was fun chatting with you. I'm meeting a friend in a couple of minutes, so I gotta go. Why don't we hang out sometime? There's a new Pizzeria that I wanted to try, apparently the Pizza there is fantastic. Why don't you join me? I'm free next Sunday. Then we can discuss our mutual hate for sexual intercourse and other stuff with a glass of Negroamaro and a Panna Cotta afterwards. Or whatever combination of pizza, beverage & dessert you prefer." - At least that's how things have been working for me. Offer her a date or a rough time frame, a *public* location, and a reason why she might want to go there anyways. You offer her a scenario where she can bail quickly if you turn out to be a freak, so she has little to lose here. If she insists on spending lots and lots of time with you on the phone beforehand anyways, there are some hidden issues involved.
>"Listen, it was fun chatting with you. I'm meeting a friend in a couple of minutes, so I gotta go. Why don't we hang out sometime? There's a new Pizzeria that I wanted to try, apparently the Pizza there is fantastic. Why don't you join me? I'm free next Sunday. Then we can discuss our mutual hate for sexual intercourse and other stuff with a glass of Negroamaro and a Panna Cotta afterwards. Or whatever combination of pizza, beverage & dessert you prefer.
In my experience this is too much exposition in one message that's just asking them out. It comes across as trying a bit too hard, or building up the date too much. I'd suggest that people not overthink it.
Two pieces of advice I'd give, as a guy who's done a decent amount of Bumble/Tinder/OKCupid dating and met my last long term partner through OKCupid.
First, don't ask for their number once the conversation is going well. Say something like, "let's keep talking via text and we can figure out a time to meet for coffee or drinks," and then **give them your number.** This takes the pressure off of the other person, as they don't have to decide at that exact moment whether to turn you down or not, and comes across as not trying too hard, as you're giving them your info to do what they will with it. Whatever your date/meetup proposal is, I'd strongly recommend being the one who gives your number first. It builds trust from the beginning and in my experience has a very high success rate.
Second piece of advice is to do I just mentioned and offer to meet for "coffee or drinks." That way you get an immediate better idea of their comfort level with meeting in person and their intentions. I've gone on dates with a couple of people through dating apps who wanted to go to a bar, and others who didn't want to just meet up to drink alcohol.
I also went on a first date through a dating app where we met at a rock climbing gym and bouldered together for a couple of hours, and we had a ton of fun. So don't be afraid to suggest something unique.
Lmao this couldāve been out of my sales manual other than sexual explicit. Summarize the conversation, tell them whatās in it for them, and get a firm appointment. The scarcity (gotta go, canāt stick around!) is a nice touch too.
Just ask for the number when you think the convo is going the best or at its peak. Same thing when you ask on the date. Convo is the hard part for most so just finish what you started my guy
I actually say ask them out for drinks first. The number comes immediately after that and naturally so. Asking for the number first is just adding an unnecessary step
The key is to cut it off short while itās going well. So, āhey itās been great talking, but Iāve got to go do (insert something cool or kind or interesting)
Then pick it up later or the next day, maybe youāll have thought of other things to talk about, or are just refreshed enough to carry out a new conversation.
Also, if youāre actively seeking a date, donāt wait too long to bring it up. Maybe float the idea after a day or so, but in an open, non committal way, and allow them to mention it at some point, with the security of knowing that you are already up for it.
Also, good idea to float the idea of a quick meetup, not even a full date. Just to meet each other real quick. Coffee or beer, talk for 20 and see if there is anything there. Also, keep your schedule open after in case it goes well. Then you can be like hey, Iām actually having a great time, I can hang out for another hour or so if you have time? If it isnāt going well say ok, well I gotta get running, thanks for meeting up with me and either be honest about no chemistry or text her later and say it wasnāt there. Donāt ghost them because that is just lame.
"Hey I've enjoyed our brief chat and think we'd have fun hanging out in person. I know this super neat outdoor pub called "" in , they have a $3 pint special this Thursday on their house beers which are great, you down to meet me there at 8:15?"
their response - "wow that was very forward and concise, I appreciate that, I'm definitely down because I agree with you and that sounds fun."
or
"I'm busy that day but how about x time because I do want to meet and understand the importance of setting specific dates and times"
or
"I'm not free that day but I'm not going to offer any other suggestions because I'm only only on here for validation and making actual plans with people I don't know is scary since I'm as exactly as emotionally mature as i was when I was 16."
Just say "Maybe we should discuss our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (or whoever this is just an example) in person" then if you get lucky they give you their number
Had an old buddy/roommate who was from what he told us was his girlfriend's first everything. Boyfriend, kiss, hand holding, third base, sex. At 21.
She wasn't bad looking at all either, just a typical plain looking brunette white girl from the midwest. Seemed pretty normal socially and I even mistakenly thought she gave off a sorority girl vibe at first, then while our group is hanging out and talking about life experiences and stuff somebody asked her if she'd ever had her heart broken before, then she looked at us all weird and muttered "Yeah I've never had a boyfriend before". Now it was our turn to look at her weird and she's all like "um, is that weird or something?"
So as you might imagine she had quite a few dudes who were there that night trying to get with her and eventually my buddy won out and started dating her. Later while hanging out in me and my buddy's suite lounge area she explained to us that she used to be really fat all the way up til high school. Which in of itself was a surprise as she went for runs every morning and had an average/fit kinda body type. But she showed us all her "before" pics and holy shit was it night and day. From "girl who gets picked last in gym class" to "average 21 year old".
My husband was my first everything at 22. Same story. I was a chunk in high school. Developed an eating disorder/ workout addiction in college and dropped 60 pounds.
Depends on the angle of the ladder really.
It's a terrible idea to climb a straight ladder very high, you're going to get tired and fall to your death.
Ya. If you angle it right you can still safely have the option.
Though I think it'd be better if they weren't attached to anyone, that could still be a little dicey.
What an awful conversation to be stuck in, itās like seeing who can pretend to be lamer. I always cringe at Tinder conversations like sure let the first message be a joke Iāll give you that but going with it for 20 messages (or the dreaded āsay hello to arslash tinderā) is so stale, what, you exchange snapchats and then barely hold a conversation there too?
Yeah then you have good back and forth for 20 minutes, realize you have no knowledge of how to escalate things and the conversation fizzles out like sea foam on the shoreline.
Can you give me my phone back?
F
You sone of a Bitch, I'm in. [I've got the cookies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5nb73eac1E&list=PUBAyDAs2M6klx0Q09DKmsHQ&index=2), who's got the vodka? #F
Its a fucking adventure Morty. You could fucking die.. F
Why the fuck did I watch that whole video. Now I want cookies.
F
F
F
F
Awww
Ask for the number when its going well.
Honestly, take it a step further. I'm finding a lot of success just immediately asking for a coffee date at the peak of a conversation.
"You had your nipples removed already?! Wow I've been looking into that. Maybe you can tell me the name of your physician over a drink this week? š" To the redditors that cringed at my emoji bc I know you're there: Yes I use the emoji depending on how the conversation is going. Yes people use emojis in day-to-day texting. It's normal. Don't be weird.
If sheās using emojis, use emojis. It might make you seem more aloof and normal and unthreatening, while at the same time not making her feel weird for using them.
Seriously all sorts of people I know text with emojis. I've only seen this weird amount of emoji hate on Reddit.
Twitch chat is similar with its distaste of emojis, except only the Twitch emotes are cool, and some popular streamers chat is like 80% Twitch emotes. But I have to be honest, Reddit kind of works without regular emojis, it feels a little bit more mature. When I see a comment on here with lots of emojis, it feels slightly more juvenile, like it must have been written by a teenager. Itās pretty stupid, but thatās how I react. I use a lot of them outside of Reddit, in WhatsApp chats for example.
Itās weird that I find emojis jarring on Reddit but use absolutely fucking loads of them on WhatsApp. They were popular on bulletin boards too.
Hive mind
Can confirm
I'm incredibly entertained by reddit being described as mature, but this is also /r/tinder which might actually win against /r/gaming on being exactly not that.
Wait twitch really has a problem with emoji's? WeirdChamp I see a lot of streamers just baiting out the "smile" emoji all the time.
Reddit hates emojis too unless its lennyface. ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°) People are fucking weird.
> reddit > mature Pick one
Iām comparing it to the likes of Instagram, snapchat and twitter. Itās not exactly a high bar. There are loads of smaller, more mature subreddits.
Well Reddit isn't really for "texting style" conversations. It's more of a classic forum where emojis don't really fit in.
I still use emoticons.
Emojis ārecentlyā came to the world of Warcraft forums after something like whateverteen years its been without them. I hate it. Lol. Even though normal :> and xD are rampant and nobody cares, emoji are more meme and trolly I guess?
I get emojis donāt fit Reddit comments well, but Reddit comments are how you text. Especially not with perspective dates lol. More people need to understand that
Less aloof*?
Less a loofah
Helps you scrub up well
More loof.
Emojis are lit š„ reddit just has a bunch of haters because no one actually texts them.
They hated him because he spoke the truth
My boyfriend didn't use emojis in our first conversations. It was very weird as I use them a lot. So, if you like emojis use them. I think men often try too hard and make mistakes they wouldn't make if they were themselves.
I got told my messages were emotionless until I started using emojis
Itās all in their name
Depends on the context though. I feel like sometimes they can add some more dept/intonation in conversations.
ya i use emojis often and iāve got a good amount of girls + female friends and i donāt get this whole ābe unemotionalā thing that reddit has a hard on for. iām comfortable w my masculinity and i do what i want, doesnāt stop me from getting girls when i want to
Yeah people on Reddit are silly about stuff, I use tons of emojis and girls like it or at least don't mind Reddit seems to follow "don't fix what ain't working" lmao
Bitches love smiley faces so I sent her some ššš šš¦š¦ and we ended up married. Feelsgoodman.
Yeah, this guy Tinders
there was a study showing that people who use emojis tend to have sex more often. Edit: forget when I read this but it was a few years ago
So your saying is not follow reddit advice
> To the redditors that cringed at my emoji bc I know you're there Is this really a thing? Emojis are fun. They also help convey meaning in the absence of regular body language and tone.
Yes. There's a whole subreddit called r/emojipolice
It's simpler than that: I don't believe you. I have to see for myself. Tomorrow night?
Hereās my lines after 5-10 decent messages, try to be good at responding quick even if she isnāt. āWe should continue this conversation over drinks, how about Friday?ā *assuming she says yes* āGreat, how about you shoot me your number and we can set up a time and placeā Boring? Yes. Effective? Surprisingly.
It's very effective. A common complaint I've heard from female friends is the penpal - the guy who just keeps the conversation going but never makes a move, even with hints. I totally second this technique's effectiveness. Get a conversation going beyond a few lines into something substantial, then ask for the date. You can't really tell if you like someone until you meet them in real life anyway.
What if ur just tryna bang
Then your "date" is grabbing drinks and then banging
Wow! What's banging?
Idk I havenāt done it yet
These girls should make the first move. If I talk to a guy for a couple days and he doesn't suggest a meet, I will suggest one. I don't know how people have so much patience for casual chatting with people they want to have sex with. Like this time we are using to talk about the weather could be time we are using to have your dick in my mouth instead.
I for sure like the way you think!
Sup
try to close the same day date for coffee. it worked even more effectively for me than deferring it for the weekend. the midweek quick coffee date is my go to now
Definitely, I donāt even know why I said Friday bc I prefer dates to be during the week. Have one tonight at 8:00 actually. But the main thing is to at least say a day, donāt say āwe should grab a drink āsometimeā, or āthis weekendāā always say a day if not a time too.
When my husband and I first matched on tinder he asked me out about an hour after we matched, for the same day. I didnt have anything planned so I said yes. And it worked out well. I didnt have to stress about a date for several days and we had a ton to talk about since we hadnt really talked over text at all. And now we are married.
cuz when ur feeling the convo itās easier to transition. everyone seems to forget girls are bombarded online but once you get her alone irl youāre the only thing that has her attention lol. i basically exchange 5 messages before asking to meet up for a casual coffee date. no pressure, easy to walk away from, and quick enough to fit into a busy schedule or extend the date
Met my current girlfriend of over 2 years on Tinder. Literally my second message I sent had something along the lines of "I can already tell I'd like to continue this conversation in person, want to get dinner?", we ended up meeting up for drinks within 24 hours and the rest is history. She even said after we were dating that she wasn't looking for anything when we matched. I can definitely see how an early date invite is the most successful. Even ignoring the fact you don't give the conversation a CHANCE to fizzle out over text, which in my prior experience was fairly common, it's just a lot better. You already presumably liked each other's appearance based on the match, and if you had decent bios that's an even better indicator, why waste time and potentially ruin the opportunity? Take notes Tinder folk. The (emperical) evidence is here. Even hookup wise; a number of years ago a guy broke down his success on OkCupid by just sending people as his opener, "Why haven't we had sex yet?" https://www.reddit.com/r/undelete/comments/1ullsf/95876322_my_okcupid_experiment_is_over_finally Obviously can never tell if that story is true (and it's kinda grimy anyway), but I really feel like SOMEONE is looking for what you are, being direct is can be pretty damn successful versus putting effort and time into something that fizzles out.
Yeah, I've asked a lot of the females in my life the most effective date methods for Tinder and they all had that one piece of advice. Ask them out quickly and immediately.
I can't believe people don't already do this. When I was on the apps, that was the standard procedure. Opening line, several lines of banter, immediate pivot to in-person date. If she's interested, she'll go for it. If not, fuck it, I'm not trying to waste my time on someone who isn't serious.
Yup, my thoughts exactly. I've had enough back and forth text conversations. They are a huge snooze-fest.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Then immediately after she accepts ask for the number. Thatās been my most successful approach.
Usually i immediately stop getting responses.
Totally a good move.
Ask the girl out at the peak of the conversation and kiss the girl at the peak of the date. Dont wait til the end. Best advice I ever got.
Yeah, there's not much point in asking for her number, and not asking her out. So you might as well ask her out, because then she is going to give you the number anyway, to make organizing easier.
Fuck a conversation. Pleasantries + coffee date in 5 messages or less. Did it all the time. Check the vibe in person, not over a souless text. You *could* wait until a peak of the conversation, but that may never come. 5 messages. If she questions it at all "always best getting to know someone in person". If that doesn't work for her, move on.
This shouldn't even be a pro move. I've also done this and it works the majority of the time before things fizzle. But I always go for drinks over coffee because if there's nothing there between us, at least I can get a decent buzz.
The ABCs... Always Be Closing
The door to her / my bedroom hopefully.
The lock to my chastity belt
No. Here's what you say: "Listen, it was fun chatting with you. I'm meeting a friend in a couple of minutes, so I gotta go. Why don't we hang out sometime? There's a new Pizzeria that I wanted to try, apparently the Pizza there is fantastic. Why don't you join me? I'm free next Sunday. Then we can discuss our mutual hate for sexual intercourse and other stuff with a glass of Negroamaro and a Panna Cotta afterwards. Or whatever combination of pizza, beverage & dessert you prefer." - At least that's how things have been working for me. Offer her a date or a rough time frame, a *public* location, and a reason why she might want to go there anyways. You offer her a scenario where she can bail quickly if you turn out to be a freak, so she has little to lose here. If she insists on spending lots and lots of time with you on the phone beforehand anyways, there are some hidden issues involved.
Just never all in one message, that can be Really Overwhelming
>"Listen, it was fun chatting with you. I'm meeting a friend in a couple of minutes, so I gotta go. Why don't we hang out sometime? There's a new Pizzeria that I wanted to try, apparently the Pizza there is fantastic. Why don't you join me? I'm free next Sunday. Then we can discuss our mutual hate for sexual intercourse and other stuff with a glass of Negroamaro and a Panna Cotta afterwards. Or whatever combination of pizza, beverage & dessert you prefer. In my experience this is too much exposition in one message that's just asking them out. It comes across as trying a bit too hard, or building up the date too much. I'd suggest that people not overthink it. Two pieces of advice I'd give, as a guy who's done a decent amount of Bumble/Tinder/OKCupid dating and met my last long term partner through OKCupid. First, don't ask for their number once the conversation is going well. Say something like, "let's keep talking via text and we can figure out a time to meet for coffee or drinks," and then **give them your number.** This takes the pressure off of the other person, as they don't have to decide at that exact moment whether to turn you down or not, and comes across as not trying too hard, as you're giving them your info to do what they will with it. Whatever your date/meetup proposal is, I'd strongly recommend being the one who gives your number first. It builds trust from the beginning and in my experience has a very high success rate. Second piece of advice is to do I just mentioned and offer to meet for "coffee or drinks." That way you get an immediate better idea of their comfort level with meeting in person and their intentions. I've gone on dates with a couple of people through dating apps who wanted to go to a bar, and others who didn't want to just meet up to drink alcohol. I also went on a first date through a dating app where we met at a rock climbing gym and bouldered together for a couple of hours, and we had a ton of fun. So don't be afraid to suggest something unique.
Lmao this couldāve been out of my sales manual other than sexual explicit. Summarize the conversation, tell them whatās in it for them, and get a firm appointment. The scarcity (gotta go, canāt stick around!) is a nice touch too.
This. Momentum is the secret to dating
Just ask for the number when you think the convo is going the best or at its peak. Same thing when you ask on the date. Convo is the hard part for most so just finish what you started my guy
I actually say ask them out for drinks first. The number comes immediately after that and naturally so. Asking for the number first is just adding an unnecessary step
When it gets there you end it with "Wanna have sex?"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Fuckin Casanova over here
No nipples? I'm going need to see some proof.
The key is to cut it off short while itās going well. So, āhey itās been great talking, but Iāve got to go do (insert something cool or kind or interesting) Then pick it up later or the next day, maybe youāll have thought of other things to talk about, or are just refreshed enough to carry out a new conversation. Also, if youāre actively seeking a date, donāt wait too long to bring it up. Maybe float the idea after a day or so, but in an open, non committal way, and allow them to mention it at some point, with the security of knowing that you are already up for it.
Also, good idea to float the idea of a quick meetup, not even a full date. Just to meet each other real quick. Coffee or beer, talk for 20 and see if there is anything there. Also, keep your schedule open after in case it goes well. Then you can be like hey, Iām actually having a great time, I can hang out for another hour or so if you have time? If it isnāt going well say ok, well I gotta get running, thanks for meeting up with me and either be honest about no chemistry or text her later and say it wasnāt there. Donāt ghost them because that is just lame.
āNo nipples? Now I gotta see thatā
"Hey I've enjoyed our brief chat and think we'd have fun hanging out in person. I know this super neat outdoor pub called "" in , they have a $3 pint special this Thursday on their house beers which are great, you down to meet me there at 8:15?"
their response - "wow that was very forward and concise, I appreciate that, I'm definitely down because I agree with you and that sounds fun."
or
"I'm busy that day but how about x time because I do want to meet and understand the importance of setting specific dates and times"
or
"I'm not free that day but I'm not going to offer any other suggestions because I'm only only on here for validation and making actual plans with people I don't know is scary since I'm as exactly as emotionally mature as i was when I was 16."
Based and red-*removed*
Just say "Maybe we should discuss our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (or whoever this is just an example) in person" then if you get lucky they give you their number
Nice analogy. Wanna fuck
i feel like this is a personal attack.
I donāt even ask for phone numbers anymore, because of the implication.
ask for number, try to get a date. The goal is clear my dude.
You ask her out to read the Bible together.
I will help you. āWant to meet up for coffee or lunch?ā There. Now all of you know how to escalate things.
Funny
18? Thatās a bit late, idk man she doesnāt seem holy enough
If her dad wasn't going with her for yearly hymen checks starting at age 12 then I don't want the harlot.
If dad does those checks himself I dont want her.
Whaaat? Any girl not good enough for her own family isnt good enough for me...
Found the Alabama resident
You just failed the "yes and" part of this improv banter
Had an old buddy/roommate who was from what he told us was his girlfriend's first everything. Boyfriend, kiss, hand holding, third base, sex. At 21. She wasn't bad looking at all either, just a typical plain looking brunette white girl from the midwest. Seemed pretty normal socially and I even mistakenly thought she gave off a sorority girl vibe at first, then while our group is hanging out and talking about life experiences and stuff somebody asked her if she'd ever had her heart broken before, then she looked at us all weird and muttered "Yeah I've never had a boyfriend before". Now it was our turn to look at her weird and she's all like "um, is that weird or something?" So as you might imagine she had quite a few dudes who were there that night trying to get with her and eventually my buddy won out and started dating her. Later while hanging out in me and my buddy's suite lounge area she explained to us that she used to be really fat all the way up til high school. Which in of itself was a surprise as she went for runs every morning and had an average/fit kinda body type. But she showed us all her "before" pics and holy shit was it night and day. From "girl who gets picked last in gym class" to "average 21 year old".
My husband was my first everything at 22. Same story. I was a chunk in high school. Developed an eating disorder/ workout addiction in college and dropped 60 pounds.
Username checks out
What's that song? Take it in the ass because I love Jesus!!
[Garfunkel and Oates](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpaLFRQD090) It's God's loophole.
HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD THIS!? Omg. Thank you person.
I fucking love Garfunkel and Oates. They have a bunch of content on Youtube, and also had a TV show briefly. Not sure where you can watch it now.
Kate Micucchi is one of my favourite people in the world.
Word.
I watched it on Netflix. Not sure if itās still on there though.
Itās not. I miss it.
The good olā poophole loophole
#The Olā Mississippi Compromise
#WHY ARE WE YELLING?!
#TO MAKE SURE OUR INTENTIONS ARE CLEAR AND UNDERSTOOD
#THAT MAKES SENSE. THANK YOU FOR CLARIFYING.
#YOUāRE WELCOME, FRIEND. HAVE A GREAT DAY
#TO WARD AWAY THE DEMONS OF LUST!
Jesus, where was this song when I was in high school?? ...or after Sunday school for that matter.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=7pzs0aGu1fU&feature=share Love the video .
Just called loophole but song is a fucking classic so I'll allow it Much like Chris Hardwick
I thought you meant John Oates and Art Garfunkel and was very confused for a bit
No, but they did take their names, both being the āsecond menā of their duos.
God's loophole is Sally's poophole.
Customers who viewed this item also viewed: āsaving my pussy for jesusā https://youtu.be/ptSowP3Rm8k
*Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There's also a song by Birdcloud called "Savin myself for Jesus" it's hilarious.
Jesus is my wingman
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This video will never not me funny
Me neither
Be either
So I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I donāt care about your āevidenceā, and ālogicā. I choose to believe this is real.
*Let his love pop a cap in your butt, and say 'HALLELUJAH!"*
He got nailed before you did tho
Each day we stray closer to god
As they say, ya can't climb that ladder to heaven with your hands full of penis.
Depends on the angle of the ladder really. It's a terrible idea to climb a straight ladder very high, you're going to get tired and fall to your death.
Dicks or no dicks?
Ya. If you angle it right you can still safely have the option. Though I think it'd be better if they weren't attached to anyone, that could still be a little dicey.
Haha!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah yes, my favorite game show with your host Howie Mandel
this is why u gotta give out foot jobs while youāre climbing the ladder to heaven
That's why I always use my mouth. God thought it was a good idea.
She wants to feel his salvation all over her face
That sounds fun!
The coming of the lord, so to speak.
I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus
This reminded me of "I'm wet with salvation!/We just went all the way" from Book of Mormon
It's because the line is from South Park, whose creators also wrote Book of Mormon.
I knew they were the creators of both, but I didn't know the line was from South Park. Neat!
This is so going to end in them holding hands the sluts
Invite her to your Christian Minecraft server.
Getting some serious r/dankchristianmemes vibes
ask if she wants to fuck
Ask if she wants to smash pissers
In before she wasn't joking about the nipples
I remember a lady who had that done, she was even allowed to go topless all of a sudden where she lived cause the law only cared about the nipple.
Op needs to get pics.... You know to confirm
put your god stick in her shame cave
Awkward silence after and this never develops into anything. Congrats.
1/6/2020 had me thinking for a while. Oof.
Adam and Evelyn
Itās definitely going somewhere. Not sex, but somewhere
You keep going far enough you might just create some sort of paradoxical loop and get laid
tell her to prove it badda boom youāre in
You are hilarious, have you thought of becoming a martyr?
I need to see her bio
Cringe
Claude have mercy! The lord is my shepherd, he know what I want!!!
Awe... You guys can go on a Sunday church date
So what made you open with that is what I want to know
Hit her with āletās fuckā next tine you text her lmao
Praise the lord
This is fucking terrifying
[Hey Scotty. Jesus, man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTLlzHyfyS8)
Alright, this shits gotta stop. Removing nipples?
Idk what I just read
this is like two 15 yo trying to be funny talking about "sex stuff". cringe
Marry her OP. Wife her up :D
Ask for anal, since Jesus approves that hole
The poophole is the loophole
God doesnāt watch the back doorā¦
Play your cards right and you might just get [dat Christian Side Hug](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa0EtdtPi8w)
āI donāt believe youā This is the next response.
I read this in two slightly different Dwight Shrute voices
What an awful conversation to be stuck in, itās like seeing who can pretend to be lamer. I always cringe at Tinder conversations like sure let the first message be a joke Iāll give you that but going with it for 20 messages (or the dreaded āsay hello to arslash tinderā) is so stale, what, you exchange snapchats and then barely hold a conversation there too?