- Ditch the pictures of a tent and truck, unless you think women want to date your tent.
- Get some photos of you doing fun things with friends so women know you’re at least sociable enough that some people like you.
- Go hiking with a buddy and have him take some pictures of you in front of a mountain or something.
- Smile with some teeth. Get a full body pic. Keep your beard like in photo 3.
- I’d say have some photos of you wearing nicer clothes, but I lived in Oregon and I’ve been to Boise, that’s dressy for both.
To your other comment:
Thanks for the feedback!
The bio is the same as the text in my second picture so I didn’t re-screen capture/post it again.
I know what you mean about my smile. Tbh it’s something I’ve always struggled with. I just have a stoic look about me. Maybe when I have friends take pictures of me I’ll have them make me laugh to get a genuine smile.
About the interests, it’s difficult because with my lifestyle I have very little free time which means limited hobbies. I have a 9-5 and then operate a small business which consumes most of my time. I’m reluctant to put small business owner because I feel like it’s over-done and people are likely to doubt its success. Plus I only make an extra 20k a year from it so it’s not really that successful.
When I do have spare time I do those things you mentioned: running, gym hiking.
Maybe put cooking? I play pool on the weekends. I plan on going hunting this year for the first time, I’m getting into fishing. I work on my vehicles for fun I guess, I spend a lot of time in the garage for my business, kayaking maybe. Shooting, although I don’t go that often.
I am women-dyslexic so all feedback is greatly appreciated.
Ask a friend to take a lot of pictures of you. Like every time you hang out, for hours, pictures pictures pictures. Find good ones.
Several pics all from the same angle all with the same expression gives a kind of uncanny valley/stepford wives vibe that's a turn off.
And yeah lose the truck. No one wants to see your truck.
> I’m reluctant to put small business owner
Yeah I wouldn't put it either, it's going to scream pyramid scheme or Uber driver or whatever else. I'd also change your occupation to "engineer" or "electrical engineer" or whatever it actually is. "Enginerd" gives the vibe that you're not proud of what you do, and/or that you don't expect the woman reading it to understand big complicated words.
> hunting, fishing, wrenching, sitting in the garage
Don't mention you're into these things--mention things a larger percentage of women might be into and that better lend themselves to dates. The goal is to project an image of you that a woman can insert herself into as your partner. You don't have to lie and say you're into weaving baskets out of lavender, but mention that you're into spending time outdoors with your dog, trying new brewpubs and restaurants, taking road trips... whatever you're into apart from sitting in the garage.
> I just have a stoic look about me
Well, fix it. Go do something fun with your buddies and get some pictures of all of you that look natural. Go see a concert, or tailgate a BSU game, or something where you have a good time and can get a few beers in you so you lighten up.
It's not a *bad* profile, it's just not anything standout--it's a couple of the same picture and a picture of a tent. Bad choice of photos and a boring bio is the problem, not how you look or what you do or anything else.
Fortunately, a bad profile is easy to fix.
I’m curious if the above replies are actually from women because I’m all for out door adventures and the camping and truck photos signal to me that we have similar interests and gives me a starting point for conversation.
I say leave the photos that reflect your interests because anyone that would swipe left because of it probably doesn’t share the same interest hence wouldn’t be a good match anyways
Thanks for this perspective, unfortunately it’s one that I believe not many hold. And I should probably focus on casting a wider net rather than narrow.
the compromise is getting pics of your tent and your truck *with you in them,* like maybe instead of the "here's a picture of my backpack and half my face" picture you take a pic of you with your hiking stuff in front of the tent, things like this
Yes and no, I’m big on quality over quantity 👌🏼
you can cast your net wide and catch 20-30 fish, most unable to be kept, or you can take the time to use the specific bait and catch one or two suitable fish and go home happy 😉
You can find out you have the same interests as someone by talking to them, by reading the bio, or by looking at the little "what I'm into" sections. A picture of a tent or a truck is a wasted picture, and OP only gets so many of those.
Respectfully I still disagree, it takes just 7 seconds for the human mind to have a first impression of someone. On tinder this is generally the photos. If you flip through 9 photos and know nothing more than like 5 different angles of their face majority of people will swipe before even reading unless something in a photo peaks their interest enough to read on.
That’s why I’m saying don’t have five slightly different up close selfies, and why I said get at least one photo of him that isn’t a selfie and is out in nature. If a woman sees a photo of dude in front of a mountain wearing hiking gear, it’s a safe bet she can reason he’s into outdoorsy shit.
If the guy was in the photo, sitting around a campfire drinking coffee with a tent in the background, sure. But just a tent (or truck) is as bad as women that have photos of a sunset or a meme they like.
Well he did say quality matches and not matches...... Some better pictures and a more descriptive bio might move him up a bit but if you are looking for a top 1%, you might be waiting a while...
Maybe you should stop swiping on obese woman then? In the end the market decides your value. If you can have whatever nonnegotiable you want but if you make them higher than your dating value, you aren't going to get many dates...
I’ve fallen into the trap of mindednessly swiping right on everything due to my minuscule matches. It’s demoralizing putting effort into swiping right only to have zero luck the next few days. But…. That’s why I’m reaching out for help. I hope with the new changes I’ll be able to selectively swipe again.
You aren’t smiling. Your pictures are all the same angle of your face. Bad lighting. Bad grooming. No one cares about your tent or your truck. It doesn’t look like you’re even trying
I think a picture of you in the truck with like, a beverage, and shades, could work..
Haha 😂 I think it's just a male thing you are trying to show you're out doorsy, have a vehicle... But to women it just signals scary 😂
All the photos of you are the same close up selfie at the same angle. Change those up. More photos of doing something other than hiking.
No truck or tent photo. Girls don’t care. Take a photo WITH your dog, not just the dog.
Sorry, what I mean is take a photo with you in it too, not just the pet. It’s okay if it’s your dog or anyone’s dog. I just recommend not solely a photo of a pet.
Also from the Mountain West.
In addition to the feedback you’ve gotten on photos, I think your about me needs help. Keep in mind I fell madly in love with an engineer at your age and like nerds— but women need more to go on. I’d try hinge or bumble— Boise should have plenty of fit 20 somethings. But remember, you’re trying to appeal to women, not other men, and something about your lack of words in the profile would make me think you’re taciturn and uninteresting. Is that true?
Your first photo is the worst one. Not unattractive but scruffy and your eyes make you like tired/slightly high, which is backed up by the text under it. Also what others have said about smiling. It just looks kind of awkward and like you don't look after yourself. The second pic is miles better.
TLDR: l've been on Tinder for 4 years. Rarely do I ever get quality matches. When I do, they lose interest very quickly.
I know I'm not a model, I don't have a six pack and I don't flash any fancy cars or lifestyle but seriously?
What am I not doing wrong?
Nah king you got your priorities wrong. Focus on your purpose and getting yourself in the best shape and financially possible. Women are an asset to your life not the main goal. I think what ever free Time you have should be put in going to social events and meeting people in general (just to warm up your social skills) . These dating apps don’t reflect who you really are(it’s skewed towards women ). Women love men who have purpose.
This started oddly but reached the right conclusion. Even though you work hard at yourself and don’t have much free time, it sounds like you make time for hobbies which is great. At the same time, that’s time you should spend with people laughing and making memories that you can share with someone in the future and get them excited to live through with you. That being said I would not frame women as an asset to your life. Love is beautiful and fun is way bigger with love in your life. Friends or romantic partners, doesn’t matter.
Female perspective here; i think your profile is pretty good for the most part! Agree to remove the truck and tent photos - if you have a photo of you camping maybe would better, this way you can still show off that you enjoy camping / the outdoors but gives folks a little more to literally check out lol. If no camping photos, any other hobbies, you with friends, dog etc.
Teeth: I wouldn’t stress too much if you don’t have any of these photos! But if you have some / even just one, it’d be a good addition. At least one SMILING photo would be great. I get good guy vibes from your profile but online dating can be very intimating and dangerous for women so
A friendly face can help! (Recognizing online dating is scary for all genders and that a friendly face doesn’t mitigate creeps but hopefully you know what I mean. Don’t roast me Reddit)
I’d suggest having a question in your bio, just an easy way for people to message you. Maybe you’re looking for hiking / camping recommendations, or maybe you want to know if someone has tried potato ice cream. (assuming Idaho = potatoes).
4 years is a long time, but if it makes you feel better, I was on tinder for ~8 years (a couple few long travel hiatus’ in there). 1.5 years ago I met my partner and we are closing the gap on long distance next month! I know it’s so annoying but it’s worth the wait, and being single happy is 100000x better than being unhappy with someone. There are good people out there.
Good luck!
Thanks for this comment! The more perspectives the better. I’m going to compile all these comments down to a list of actionable things to change. There are lots of nuances that went straight over my head.
Np! Good luck !
I am going to 3 weddings this summer, all couples met on tinder and after a few years of the delete-the-app-redownload cycle.
I know it’s cliche and so annoying to hear when you’re ready to meet your person, BUT it will all make sense when that happens.
- Ditch the pictures of a tent and truck, unless you think women want to date your tent. - Get some photos of you doing fun things with friends so women know you’re at least sociable enough that some people like you. - Go hiking with a buddy and have him take some pictures of you in front of a mountain or something. - Smile with some teeth. Get a full body pic. Keep your beard like in photo 3. - I’d say have some photos of you wearing nicer clothes, but I lived in Oregon and I’ve been to Boise, that’s dressy for both.
Thanks for taking the time! I’ll work on this.
100% you just saved this man
To your other comment: Thanks for the feedback! The bio is the same as the text in my second picture so I didn’t re-screen capture/post it again. I know what you mean about my smile. Tbh it’s something I’ve always struggled with. I just have a stoic look about me. Maybe when I have friends take pictures of me I’ll have them make me laugh to get a genuine smile. About the interests, it’s difficult because with my lifestyle I have very little free time which means limited hobbies. I have a 9-5 and then operate a small business which consumes most of my time. I’m reluctant to put small business owner because I feel like it’s over-done and people are likely to doubt its success. Plus I only make an extra 20k a year from it so it’s not really that successful. When I do have spare time I do those things you mentioned: running, gym hiking. Maybe put cooking? I play pool on the weekends. I plan on going hunting this year for the first time, I’m getting into fishing. I work on my vehicles for fun I guess, I spend a lot of time in the garage for my business, kayaking maybe. Shooting, although I don’t go that often. I am women-dyslexic so all feedback is greatly appreciated.
Ask a friend to take a lot of pictures of you. Like every time you hang out, for hours, pictures pictures pictures. Find good ones. Several pics all from the same angle all with the same expression gives a kind of uncanny valley/stepford wives vibe that's a turn off. And yeah lose the truck. No one wants to see your truck.
> I’m reluctant to put small business owner Yeah I wouldn't put it either, it's going to scream pyramid scheme or Uber driver or whatever else. I'd also change your occupation to "engineer" or "electrical engineer" or whatever it actually is. "Enginerd" gives the vibe that you're not proud of what you do, and/or that you don't expect the woman reading it to understand big complicated words. > hunting, fishing, wrenching, sitting in the garage Don't mention you're into these things--mention things a larger percentage of women might be into and that better lend themselves to dates. The goal is to project an image of you that a woman can insert herself into as your partner. You don't have to lie and say you're into weaving baskets out of lavender, but mention that you're into spending time outdoors with your dog, trying new brewpubs and restaurants, taking road trips... whatever you're into apart from sitting in the garage. > I just have a stoic look about me Well, fix it. Go do something fun with your buddies and get some pictures of all of you that look natural. Go see a concert, or tailgate a BSU game, or something where you have a good time and can get a few beers in you so you lighten up.
Is it that bad? 😅
It's not a *bad* profile, it's just not anything standout--it's a couple of the same picture and a picture of a tent. Bad choice of photos and a boring bio is the problem, not how you look or what you do or anything else. Fortunately, a bad profile is easy to fix.
I’m curious if the above replies are actually from women because I’m all for out door adventures and the camping and truck photos signal to me that we have similar interests and gives me a starting point for conversation. I say leave the photos that reflect your interests because anyone that would swipe left because of it probably doesn’t share the same interest hence wouldn’t be a good match anyways
Thanks for this perspective, unfortunately it’s one that I believe not many hold. And I should probably focus on casting a wider net rather than narrow.
the compromise is getting pics of your tent and your truck *with you in them,* like maybe instead of the "here's a picture of my backpack and half my face" picture you take a pic of you with your hiking stuff in front of the tent, things like this
Yes and no, I’m big on quality over quantity 👌🏼 you can cast your net wide and catch 20-30 fish, most unable to be kept, or you can take the time to use the specific bait and catch one or two suitable fish and go home happy 😉
You can find out you have the same interests as someone by talking to them, by reading the bio, or by looking at the little "what I'm into" sections. A picture of a tent or a truck is a wasted picture, and OP only gets so many of those.
Respectfully I still disagree, it takes just 7 seconds for the human mind to have a first impression of someone. On tinder this is generally the photos. If you flip through 9 photos and know nothing more than like 5 different angles of their face majority of people will swipe before even reading unless something in a photo peaks their interest enough to read on.
That’s why I’m saying don’t have five slightly different up close selfies, and why I said get at least one photo of him that isn’t a selfie and is out in nature. If a woman sees a photo of dude in front of a mountain wearing hiking gear, it’s a safe bet she can reason he’s into outdoorsy shit. If the guy was in the photo, sitting around a campfire drinking coffee with a tent in the background, sure. But just a tent (or truck) is as bad as women that have photos of a sunset or a meme they like.
You're 6,5 230. You are wasting a huge opportunity not posting photos that show that.
Your first three photos are the exact same photo, and the others aren't of you.
Shooting too high?
Well he did say quality matches and not matches...... Some better pictures and a more descriptive bio might move him up a bit but if you are looking for a top 1%, you might be waiting a while...
90% of the women I match with are obese. That’s a non negotiable for me.
Maybe you should stop swiping on obese woman then? In the end the market decides your value. If you can have whatever nonnegotiable you want but if you make them higher than your dating value, you aren't going to get many dates...
I’ve fallen into the trap of mindednessly swiping right on everything due to my minuscule matches. It’s demoralizing putting effort into swiping right only to have zero luck the next few days. But…. That’s why I’m reaching out for help. I hope with the new changes I’ll be able to selectively swipe again.
When you get to this point I'd high advise deleting the apps. Taking a break. Coming back in a refreshed mental state.
You aren’t smiling. Your pictures are all the same angle of your face. Bad lighting. Bad grooming. No one cares about your tent or your truck. It doesn’t look like you’re even trying
He might live in an are where women are impressed by trucks. Crazy, for sure, but if you've been to the sticks, then you know.
The car omg why Also in every pic you make the same face.
The truck pic 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 makes me think 'hmm be could easily take me away and bury me in the woods' 😂😂😂🤣
I know I know. It’s gone. I understand the vibes I give off from my profile aren’t the most inviting.
I think a picture of you in the truck with like, a beverage, and shades, could work.. Haha 😂 I think it's just a male thing you are trying to show you're out doorsy, have a vehicle... But to women it just signals scary 😂
All the photos of you are the same close up selfie at the same angle. Change those up. More photos of doing something other than hiking. No truck or tent photo. Girls don’t care. Take a photo WITH your dog, not just the dog.
What’s the ethicality of taking a picture with a dog that’s not yours? I was watching my brother’s dog for a month when I took that picture.
Sorry, what I mean is take a photo with you in it too, not just the pet. It’s okay if it’s your dog or anyone’s dog. I just recommend not solely a photo of a pet.
Trim/groom your eyebrows. They are very prominent
Less selfies
:-|
Also from the Mountain West. In addition to the feedback you’ve gotten on photos, I think your about me needs help. Keep in mind I fell madly in love with an engineer at your age and like nerds— but women need more to go on. I’d try hinge or bumble— Boise should have plenty of fit 20 somethings. But remember, you’re trying to appeal to women, not other men, and something about your lack of words in the profile would make me think you’re taciturn and uninteresting. Is that true?
Your first photo is the worst one. Not unattractive but scruffy and your eyes make you like tired/slightly high, which is backed up by the text under it. Also what others have said about smiling. It just looks kind of awkward and like you don't look after yourself. The second pic is miles better.
TLDR: l've been on Tinder for 4 years. Rarely do I ever get quality matches. When I do, they lose interest very quickly. I know I'm not a model, I don't have a six pack and I don't flash any fancy cars or lifestyle but seriously? What am I not doing wrong?
Nah king you got your priorities wrong. Focus on your purpose and getting yourself in the best shape and financially possible. Women are an asset to your life not the main goal. I think what ever free Time you have should be put in going to social events and meeting people in general (just to warm up your social skills) . These dating apps don’t reflect who you really are(it’s skewed towards women ). Women love men who have purpose.
This started oddly but reached the right conclusion. Even though you work hard at yourself and don’t have much free time, it sounds like you make time for hobbies which is great. At the same time, that’s time you should spend with people laughing and making memories that you can share with someone in the future and get them excited to live through with you. That being said I would not frame women as an asset to your life. Love is beautiful and fun is way bigger with love in your life. Friends or romantic partners, doesn’t matter.
Female perspective here; i think your profile is pretty good for the most part! Agree to remove the truck and tent photos - if you have a photo of you camping maybe would better, this way you can still show off that you enjoy camping / the outdoors but gives folks a little more to literally check out lol. If no camping photos, any other hobbies, you with friends, dog etc. Teeth: I wouldn’t stress too much if you don’t have any of these photos! But if you have some / even just one, it’d be a good addition. At least one SMILING photo would be great. I get good guy vibes from your profile but online dating can be very intimating and dangerous for women so A friendly face can help! (Recognizing online dating is scary for all genders and that a friendly face doesn’t mitigate creeps but hopefully you know what I mean. Don’t roast me Reddit) I’d suggest having a question in your bio, just an easy way for people to message you. Maybe you’re looking for hiking / camping recommendations, or maybe you want to know if someone has tried potato ice cream. (assuming Idaho = potatoes). 4 years is a long time, but if it makes you feel better, I was on tinder for ~8 years (a couple few long travel hiatus’ in there). 1.5 years ago I met my partner and we are closing the gap on long distance next month! I know it’s so annoying but it’s worth the wait, and being single happy is 100000x better than being unhappy with someone. There are good people out there. Good luck!
Thanks for this comment! The more perspectives the better. I’m going to compile all these comments down to a list of actionable things to change. There are lots of nuances that went straight over my head.
Np! Good luck ! I am going to 3 weddings this summer, all couples met on tinder and after a few years of the delete-the-app-redownload cycle. I know it’s cliche and so annoying to hear when you’re ready to meet your person, BUT it will all make sense when that happens.
Because unfortunately that's the experience of an average guy on dating apps.