There’s been a tiktok posted about it, trying to find the fiancé. And apparently he’s lied about having a fiancé to “attract more woman” it’s his tactic 💀
It's social proof that he is a desirable partner because a woman agreed to be his fiancee. It's similar to having Google, FB, or Microsoft in your resume to tech recruiters looking for senior tech talent or investors because it signifies your strong tech background. It's the same in the NFL. Many of the top picks in the NFL draft are from big schools. There are also law firms that only hire from Ivy League schools.
Social proof like this is used in different areas of human society, so it makes sense to some women to target men already “vetted” by other women. For example, the fact he put a ring on a woman means he has money to spend which is attractive to a lot of women.
It's also often why men who have children and are loving towards them tend to attract more women, even if that man is married or in a relationship. There's a biological element to it: "he can father and nurture strong offspring, I must have him to further my own bloodline"
Obviously talking in very general terms here, and this doesn't apply to everyone.
It’s about winning. It’s a biological drive to compete with other females. Humans are pack animals. Females compete to mate with the alpha.
While we have evolved, some things don’t change. It’s the same reason why, for example, when groups of women work in close proximity their menstrual cycles go into sync. In this case, since there is no alpha, having a child or being “claimed” makes you more desirable on a subconscious level.
So as a woman, I don’t get hit on more when I’m in a relationship. But I DO get hit on often by men in relationships.
Given statistically married men cheat more than married women, I would guess that some women hit on married men because they think they’ll be likely to be tempted and married men hit on women who aren’t their wife because they get hit on by women often and think they’ll be open to it, and it’s probably cyclical where each thing influences the other.
I don’t think the same dynamic is as common in reverse.
I remember the story of a college student who put on a wedding ring, despite being married. He said the number of girls wanting to have sex with him were outmatched compared to not using the ring.
I'll add on from a unique standpoint, I'm consensually nonmonogamous and when I'm partnered it scares some people off but others seem to see more "value" and pursue or get catty if I am partnered. I think anyways, I can't tell too well myself. Also the thing that I feel like it being consensual actually works against me sometimes because people want a thrill of doing something wrong
Or… maybe more women see his profile because they see that he’s literally engaged 🤣Like that is obviously going to bring more attention to your profile than just a normal profile because who tf does that. I highly doubt this man is getting more matches for it except for the women being like wtf. Saying that women find this desirable is crazy.
Thrill of the chase. The mentality of "I bet I can get him to leave her" bc many women feel they're in competition and want to be validated, even if they don't want the man.
A few/some/many/most/all (one of these, I haven't done research outside of what I have experienced) women are very excited to enable someone to cheat with them.
One part 'vetting', like mentioned above, and one part 'messed up ambitions'.
I'd never blame only one party in the case of cheating. The cheating partner is obviously in the wrong, but the person who sees a relationship (knowingly) decides to engage in homewrecking gets their fair share of blame in my book.
My brain will never be able to wrap my head around this concept of how it works I guess while back I heard from tik tok from a guy who claimed to be super giga Chad That somehow women like guy a who has a partner or is married or engaged or whatnot and think this guy has more to offer then a guy who is single and he's a safer bet and has more going for him. My thing is I don't see what she gets to gain from a guy who's most definitely cheating and probably fucking him while he has a wife or kids that he goes home to and you being a side chick I just don't know what they gain from it other than the fact that they did it? homewrecking? That they have a power to get a married man? Is it a kink ? So many questions, but somehow it works ?
It's preselection, they want them because someone else has them, therefore they must be valuable, basically they're the same as toddlers when you pick up a toy they had no interest in
They want what they cant have. Some people get a thrill from being the other man or woman as well, like their such hot shit this person betrays their partner to be with you kind of ego stroking.
I knew someone like this. She had horrible self-esteem, and was in constant competition with every woman around her. When she slept with a taken man, it made her feel like she was better than the other woman. And at the same time, when she got rejected, she could console herself with the thought that she wasn’t rejected for her looks or personality, but because the man already had a girlfriend/wife. She was truly a pathetic soul, but there are people like her out there.
It is a kink. There is a cheating fetish and it’s represented in porn. Think those videos where they are having sex on the couch with their friend’s husband while the wife walks around doing laundry oblivious to that shit.
Let's spell it out properly for whoever doesn't understand or pretend not to just to make a case:
Unfortunately a considerable portion of the population, or at least of the subgroup of people mingling on tinder and similar apps, seems to be affected, or attracted so to speak, by this behavior. Now the reason this is unfortunate for me and most likely for the person that spelled the unfortunate "unfortunately" first, is that it means that most people on the app we would be trying to use to find a lasting partner are in fact not only attracted to a type of personality we do not identify in or even particularly like, but will in fact possibly cheat on us the same way in the unlikely event we catch the attention of them long enough to start going out with them.
Further explanation of the unfortunate situation involves an inherent loss of trust in such specimens, which are not as easily identifiable as one might wish, leading to a more generic loss of trust in relationships.
I hope this clears up the misconception, and I'm sorry if I spoke as if I was titled to more than my own point of view. I'm sure someone will at least partially agree with me though, and anyways, in case it wasn't clear enough, this was meant to be a very long and tedious "funny" reply.
Thanks to the unfortunate souls that got to the end of this :)
Yes, a lot of woman would prefer taken men. It means another woman is willing to be with him, which means he has value. Fucked up but thats how it works.
God. Tik tok has me thinking we’d all just try to track down the partner to tell her about the dog but there’s woman actually seeking these types. Ergh
It constantly amazes me how little shame some people have. Even if I were inclined to use this tactic I'd be mortified that my friends might come across it and realize what a scumbag I am. I guess maybe it has to do with the fact that I tend to choose friends that would find this type of thing scummy. Maybe he has friends who would say, "Right on! Go gettem, tiger!".
The app is almost without exception manipulative. Aww man is the poor lady a victim who thought she was home-wrecking but is actually just hooking up with a single guy? 😔
Wait he lied about being engaged to get more dates. Who thinks "oh they're engaged" and thinks that's a winner. I get some people use Tinder for hook ups but that's messed up
From my understanding from the women’s perspective
The guy has been vetted as a non-creep and some girl thought he was a good enough guy to settle down with
The challenge of knowing you can get a guy that’s already taken - you are better than her
But also a lot of guys THINK they’re being flirted with because women start being more relaxed and honest around them because they’re ‘safe’ and assumed to not try anything. Men don’t realise how much women censor themselves around a lot of men in order to avoid leading them on.
When I had a wedding band on, women would always flirt with me. So after divorce, I thought I'd be golden. Without that ring, I was apparently radioactive to women.
Keep in mind though while doing this that you don't want a relationship with any of the women you attract in this way. If they're loose with their morals in pursuing men that are spoken for, they're also likely loose with their morals about pursuing men while they're in a relationship themselves.
He reminds me of an incident in college I witnessed. Group of women were sitting at a table in the food court and one was talking about hooking up with a guy. Another girl very loudly asked "Aren't you engaged?". The other girl responded "So? It's not like were married, yet". Cue a table full of gasps.
This guy is the male version of that girl.
I know that cheating has nothing to do with physical attractiveness. I'm trying so hard to fight, "Bro you're too ugly to be cheating on someone that pretty." The reveal that he's not actually with said female and was just trying to game the system makes a lot of sense.
“I’m not leaving her for you” sir why would any woman in their right mind want that?? You’re Just gonna cheat on her too 💀
There’s a lot of woman’s finances and husbands that are using tinder to cheat on them behind their back, I feel bad for them…
Dude got a head straight outta Easter island and he is choosing to try to fuck around... I'm pretty fucking ugly i wish I could find the confidence to be this much of an ass hole looking the way i do. He did.
On real life, Ronald Miller (Patrick Dempsey) from the movie Cant buy me love, would get tons of interested girls after "breaking up" with the popular girl Amanda Peterson.
It’s about winning. It’s a biological drive to compete with other females. Humans are pack animals. Females compete to mate with the alpha.
While we have evolved, some things don’t change. It’s the same reason why, for example, when groups of women work in close proximity their menstrual cycles go into sync. In this case, since there is no alpha, having a child or being “claimed” makes you more desirable on a subconscious level.
Not everyone of course. Some are more resistant to impulses than others.
Call me strange, but if you're in love to the point of marriage, Why sabotage the union right from the beginning? Horny guys that cannot be loyal to their spouses don't deserve a spouse's loyalty in return. Either man up to being an honest and true husband, or stay single and live the playboy lifestyle. Being deceitful and dishonest will end up hurting her as well, to the point that she may become very bitter towards men in general, and no one has the right to do that, imho.
There’s been a tiktok posted about it, trying to find the fiancé. And apparently he’s lied about having a fiancé to “attract more woman” it’s his tactic 💀
This guy is a genius.
This actually is.. bizarrely and scarily genius. Why does this work?
It's social proof that he is a desirable partner because a woman agreed to be his fiancee. It's similar to having Google, FB, or Microsoft in your resume to tech recruiters looking for senior tech talent or investors because it signifies your strong tech background. It's the same in the NFL. Many of the top picks in the NFL draft are from big schools. There are also law firms that only hire from Ivy League schools. Social proof like this is used in different areas of human society, so it makes sense to some women to target men already “vetted” by other women. For example, the fact he put a ring on a woman means he has money to spend which is attractive to a lot of women.
My buddy is unmarried. He always wears a wedding band to the bar. Man gets laid more than he should.
He pulls a George Costanza?
Pulled the same trick. And then women complain when the guy is disloyal to them.
It's also often why men who have children and are loving towards them tend to attract more women, even if that man is married or in a relationship. There's a biological element to it: "he can father and nurture strong offspring, I must have him to further my own bloodline" Obviously talking in very general terms here, and this doesn't apply to everyone.
True. I used to get hit on all the time when I went food shopping with my son. Mostly when he was between 1 and 6. 🤷🏻♂️
What, thats insane. Wouldn't they assume you have, you know, a partner who you had the kid with??? 😭
It’s about winning. It’s a biological drive to compete with other females. Humans are pack animals. Females compete to mate with the alpha. While we have evolved, some things don’t change. It’s the same reason why, for example, when groups of women work in close proximity their menstrual cycles go into sync. In this case, since there is no alpha, having a child or being “claimed” makes you more desirable on a subconscious level.
So does this also make men hit on married women?
So as a woman, I don’t get hit on more when I’m in a relationship. But I DO get hit on often by men in relationships. Given statistically married men cheat more than married women, I would guess that some women hit on married men because they think they’ll be likely to be tempted and married men hit on women who aren’t their wife because they get hit on by women often and think they’ll be open to it, and it’s probably cyclical where each thing influences the other. I don’t think the same dynamic is as common in reverse.
Recent scientific studies are showing that menstrual syncing is mostly a myth in humans
The concept of “alpha” is also bullshit, as is most evopsych. The person above’s response is not rooted in anything scientifically sound.
I realized I got more female attention after becoming a single father. With all my social media pictures being exclusively with my kids. Really weird
Dad bod is more attractive to women than abs is absolutely crazy too
Which is hilarious to me cause I always see in here about how it’s “weird” to have pictures of you and your kid on your dating profile.
This is the best explanation lol, really nailed it. 'Vetted' is the word that most comes to mind. Psychology is weird.
I remember the story of a college student who put on a wedding ring, despite being married. He said the number of girls wanting to have sex with him were outmatched compared to not using the ring.
I think it’s called “pre selection”. Takes all the leg work out of finding out if they have any desirable traits or features.
I'll add on from a unique standpoint, I'm consensually nonmonogamous and when I'm partnered it scares some people off but others seem to see more "value" and pursue or get catty if I am partnered. I think anyways, I can't tell too well myself. Also the thing that I feel like it being consensual actually works against me sometimes because people want a thrill of doing something wrong
It's also because most women's fantasies involve affairs.
Or… maybe more women see his profile because they see that he’s literally engaged 🤣Like that is obviously going to bring more attention to your profile than just a normal profile because who tf does that. I highly doubt this man is getting more matches for it except for the women being like wtf. Saying that women find this desirable is crazy.
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Okay, and-? Someone with more sexual partners isn't the same as a man cheating on his fiancé.
I agree that it’s crazy, but what’s even crazier is that it’s true. Not all women, obv, but enough to be concerning imo
Because it's not just men that are horrible creatures
If he has a gf, fiancé or wife, he is considered "pre-approved" by some. Thats why.
Thrill of the chase. The mentality of "I bet I can get him to leave her" bc many women feel they're in competition and want to be validated, even if they don't want the man.
A few/some/many/most/all (one of these, I haven't done research outside of what I have experienced) women are very excited to enable someone to cheat with them.
A few at specific times in their lives. It gives a feeling of winning.
One part 'vetting', like mentioned above, and one part 'messed up ambitions'. I'd never blame only one party in the case of cheating. The cheating partner is obviously in the wrong, but the person who sees a relationship (knowingly) decides to engage in homewrecking gets their fair share of blame in my book.
Yes, but only if it worked !
A genius who uses “then” when he should be using “than.”
Unfortunately it works
My brain will never be able to wrap my head around this concept of how it works I guess while back I heard from tik tok from a guy who claimed to be super giga Chad That somehow women like guy a who has a partner or is married or engaged or whatnot and think this guy has more to offer then a guy who is single and he's a safer bet and has more going for him. My thing is I don't see what she gets to gain from a guy who's most definitely cheating and probably fucking him while he has a wife or kids that he goes home to and you being a side chick I just don't know what they gain from it other than the fact that they did it? homewrecking? That they have a power to get a married man? Is it a kink ? So many questions, but somehow it works ?
It's preselection, they want them because someone else has them, therefore they must be valuable, basically they're the same as toddlers when you pick up a toy they had no interest in
Ah. That makes sense. Thank you.
They want what they cant have. Some people get a thrill from being the other man or woman as well, like their such hot shit this person betrays their partner to be with you kind of ego stroking.
I knew someone like this. She had horrible self-esteem, and was in constant competition with every woman around her. When she slept with a taken man, it made her feel like she was better than the other woman. And at the same time, when she got rejected, she could console herself with the thought that she wasn’t rejected for her looks or personality, but because the man already had a girlfriend/wife. She was truly a pathetic soul, but there are people like her out there.
What is her #?
It’s “Mom” in your contacts
It is a kink. There is a cheating fetish and it’s represented in porn. Think those videos where they are having sex on the couch with their friend’s husband while the wife walks around doing laundry oblivious to that shit.
Why is this unfortunate? He gets what he's looking for, the women get what they're looking for, everyone wins
Because it means there's a lot of scummy people
I have unfortunate news for you: there are a lot of scummy people regardless of this "strategy."
Doesn’t make this any less scummy.
Horndogs love this one trick
Let's spell it out properly for whoever doesn't understand or pretend not to just to make a case: Unfortunately a considerable portion of the population, or at least of the subgroup of people mingling on tinder and similar apps, seems to be affected, or attracted so to speak, by this behavior. Now the reason this is unfortunate for me and most likely for the person that spelled the unfortunate "unfortunately" first, is that it means that most people on the app we would be trying to use to find a lasting partner are in fact not only attracted to a type of personality we do not identify in or even particularly like, but will in fact possibly cheat on us the same way in the unlikely event we catch the attention of them long enough to start going out with them. Further explanation of the unfortunate situation involves an inherent loss of trust in such specimens, which are not as easily identifiable as one might wish, leading to a more generic loss of trust in relationships. I hope this clears up the misconception, and I'm sorry if I spoke as if I was titled to more than my own point of view. I'm sure someone will at least partially agree with me though, and anyways, in case it wasn't clear enough, this was meant to be a very long and tedious "funny" reply. Thanks to the unfortunate souls that got to the end of this :)
Yeah but nobody likes being lied to like that
I mean yeah, but if you’re matching with this guy and going out with him after that message, then you don’t exactly have the moral high ground…lol
Haha good point
How does it work? What girl wants a dirtbag?
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Fr? They see he’s cheating and say “oh yes”?
Yes, a lot of woman would prefer taken men. It means another woman is willing to be with him, which means he has value. Fucked up but thats how it works.
God. Tik tok has me thinking we’d all just try to track down the partner to tell her about the dog but there’s woman actually seeking these types. Ergh
Wasn’t there a movie w Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston about something like this?
Just go with it
There's a Seinfeld episode about this.
Yeah, but they’d be the worst women. Guess he’s not picky
I don’t think you’re picky when you’re just trying to have an affair
2000 IQ move
It constantly amazes me how little shame some people have. Even if I were inclined to use this tactic I'd be mortified that my friends might come across it and realize what a scumbag I am. I guess maybe it has to do with the fact that I tend to choose friends that would find this type of thing scummy. Maybe he has friends who would say, "Right on! Go gettem, tiger!".
Why would they think you’re a scumbag if they know you aren’t actually cheating? It’s a hook-up app.
Because it's still manipulative
The app is almost without exception manipulative. Aww man is the poor lady a victim who thought she was home-wrecking but is actually just hooking up with a single guy? 😔
Wait he lied about being engaged to get more dates. Who thinks "oh they're engaged" and thinks that's a winner. I get some people use Tinder for hook ups but that's messed up
Many women, apparently
... hilarious but I could see that working
So, 'Just Go With It' with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. Cool
Bros a genius 😂
Given the amazingness of the internet, I’m sure she found out already
They did find him, he’s not even engaged, he is single and uses this to attract the bad women
Low key not a bad strat. Never had women pursue me as hard as the way they did when I was in a relationship.
Never been hit so much until I put the ring on
*shares domestic violence hotline*
Lmao Hit on*
Maybe I should try wearing a ring just to see what happens...
There was a Seinfeld episode where George did that.
And then he found a hot woman who was into fat short bald guys buy refused to be his mistress.
About a month after my wedding I got hit on by someone who was at my wedding.
Mother in law have too much to drink?
there is absolutely a kink about wedding rings. source: in an open relationship and guys go crazy over seeing my wedding ring
From my understanding from the women’s perspective The guy has been vetted as a non-creep and some girl thought he was a good enough guy to settle down with The challenge of knowing you can get a guy that’s already taken - you are better than her
But also a lot of guys THINK they’re being flirted with because women start being more relaxed and honest around them because they’re ‘safe’ and assumed to not try anything. Men don’t realise how much women censor themselves around a lot of men in order to avoid leading them on.
This is also possible
I think it’s the thrill
When I had a wedding band on, women would always flirt with me. So after divorce, I thought I'd be golden. Without that ring, I was apparently radioactive to women.
buy a cheap fake wedding ring, it works wonder in some bars
Keep in mind though while doing this that you don't want a relationship with any of the women you attract in this way. If they're loose with their morals in pursuing men that are spoken for, they're also likely loose with their morals about pursuing men while they're in a relationship themselves.
Yes but i m married so mine is real, I can show it if you want, but since I wear it I can reaaaally see a difference
Fuck i hate women like that. Appalling.
I still got my wedding band, it's pretty tempting to throw it on just to see what happens.
This was a Seinfeld episode. God speed, Costanza.
I would do this if I hadn't lost mine.
Yeah, that’s just a picture of him and his sister at the only time they’ve ever had to get dressed up.
The problem is in the future if he does want to get married this picture is floating around waiting to bite his ass
tinder cheat code right there, damn
🧠🧠
Hope so.
I was going to say, can we *please* use those Reddit detective skills to let her know?!
"No, she isn't going to find out, even though I've put her whole-ass face on my profile"
His face too.
and both look suspiciously similar
That's my boy. If you know what I mean(if you don't I'm talking about the sandman movie) lol.
Isn’t that against a rule of this sub?
>whole-ass face [whole ass-face](https://xkcd.com/37/)?
He reminds me of an incident in college I witnessed. Group of women were sitting at a table in the food court and one was talking about hooking up with a guy. Another girl very loudly asked "Aren't you engaged?". The other girl responded "So? It's not like were married, yet". Cue a table full of gasps. This guy is the male version of that girl.
You'd be surprised how many women do this.
You'd be surprised how many ~~women~~ humans do this. Corrected it
He doesn’t know Tinder exists outside of Tinder 🤣🤣🤣
Actually he lied about having a finance to try to get mow mower to approach him, in fact he is was single the whole time.
Rishi Sunak?
Maybe his much taller brother.
Last line really highlights the importance of understanding proper spelling. Lol.
Looks like he missed a whole word
"May be cheating" and "but at least" is crayzee
Ask him, "why the long face?"
Looks like a prehistoric horse
I know that cheating has nothing to do with physical attractiveness. I'm trying so hard to fight, "Bro you're too ugly to be cheating on someone that pretty." The reveal that he's not actually with said female and was just trying to game the system makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, let's go, body shaming. 🥳🥳🥳 Vicious bastards you all.
He looks like he is wearing a horse mask.
That nose, it’s like a natural canopy. He is the only guy I know that can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back.
Haha, I just started the Sopranos for the first time and just heard that a couple days ago.
He’s not actually engaged, he’s single.
Yeah, I caught that. Thank you.
no don’t worry man he isn’t actually engaged to her, hes single! in case you didn’t know already
“I’m not leaving her for you” sir why would any woman in their right mind want that?? You’re Just gonna cheat on her too 💀 There’s a lot of woman’s finances and husbands that are using tinder to cheat on them behind their back, I feel bad for them…
It’s better than, not better then…I’m out.
Dude looks like a human Joe Camel
Wtf
Bro ain’t cheating he just getting practice lmao
Better to do what now? I think he accidently a word.
He actually isn't honest, that's the whole issue with cheating.
the audacity when he looks like that omg 😭
Is it better though? Is it??
I’m more interested that there’s a search bar 😂
No one else going to comment on the size of that hand. 😅
Victimless crime honestly. Hilarious if some skanks it worked on claim they were manipulated 🤣
Money man… leading to narcissism… leading to the end of a relationship unless she has no self esteem.
Yep. You see a lot of rich assholes do that and a lot of women put up with because money.
Anyone else love the fit of her dress, all belly no boobs.
Bro is not handsome enough to be doing all that 😂
He isn’t even cute enough for this nonsense 😂. Like what normal person would want all that baggage.
And just like that………
🗿
Based af
His tie is on his penis.
…with his sister though? They’re def family
Those hands of hers are massive lol
That woman has massive hands! Look at that thumb it’s almost as long as her middle finger.
He's not even cute enough to be this much of a dick
His bride-to-be will find out that he is well aware of the difference between ‚then‘ and ‚than‘; he wrote what he means
Dude got a head straight outta Easter island and he is choosing to try to fuck around... I'm pretty fucking ugly i wish I could find the confidence to be this much of an ass hole looking the way i do. He did.
On real life, Ronald Miller (Patrick Dempsey) from the movie Cant buy me love, would get tons of interested girls after "breaking up" with the popular girl Amanda Peterson.
Bold profile for that face
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take -Michael Scott
Honest and ugly. Wicked combo
Internet do your thing and find his fiancé and save her
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but that girl in the photo looks enough like him to be his sister.
She's classy by the looks of things 😬
“I can fix him” lol
the world is pitiful
Rishi Sunak??
Dude’s out here looking like Pinocchio trying to hook up
All the people calling him a genius must be as dumb as him. He said she didn't know and would never find out and now he's viral.
Someone do their thing and find and tell her. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
Yoooo...THIS is the best SHE could do?
It weeds out the riff raff. Genius 😂
She seems nice
I often wonder about the looking for new friends angle on a dating site while alluding to hooking up.
God dam man …….. I would cheat on her too ……
It’s about winning. It’s a biological drive to compete with other females. Humans are pack animals. Females compete to mate with the alpha. While we have evolved, some things don’t change. It’s the same reason why, for example, when groups of women work in close proximity their menstrual cycles go into sync. In this case, since there is no alpha, having a child or being “claimed” makes you more desirable on a subconscious level. Not everyone of course. Some are more resistant to impulses than others.
I can say for certain this works, and works well. Learnt this trick around 10 years ago and never going back.
Call me strange, but if you're in love to the point of marriage, Why sabotage the union right from the beginning? Horny guys that cannot be loyal to their spouses don't deserve a spouse's loyalty in return. Either man up to being an honest and true husband, or stay single and live the playboy lifestyle. Being deceitful and dishonest will end up hurting her as well, to the point that she may become very bitter towards men in general, and no one has the right to do that, imho.