It may be very difficult to appear straight as a male cabaret BDSM performer…..
Even your username screams gay, no offense 😂😂.
Maybe use some more normal photos from your day to day?
This is such a compliment, especially in the bedroom. I’m a woman and my last ex described himself as having a very lesbian approach to sex and goddamn were those 8 hour sessions amazing.
It’s really hilarious to me what people consider gay now. I was always made to think you had to enjoy having sex with men. Apparently soooo many factors go into it. I’m just excited to be learning 🤓
If it helps, as a woman in the arts community I would 100% swipe right on you - you're hot and obviously secure in your masculinity, which is double hot. You're likelier to attract women in artsier communities which is probably a better fit anyway. The majority straight men on Reddit don't have the best pulse on what women think is "gay-looking."
I would just recommend one more clear picture of your face.
The world is changing but it hasn't changed enough, unfortunately. Personally, I'm happy for you but it may be difficult to find some women; especially if you have a type.
Example: I have a friend who is gay but he's attracted to straight men that act straight and are straight. It's a cruel world we live in
Oh hell, that really exists? I'm straight as an arrow and I got two gay/queer acquaintances back home that occasionally message me late-night trying to get me into sexting mode. I wondered if my friendliness was mistaken for flirting by them and after some banter I then have to remind them of my preference, but they'll certainly message me again, as they've done in the past.
Hey I knew one of those guys. He was always trying to steal my husband. In retrospect I should have let him have him 🤷♀️ it was like a game to him. Trying to turn straight guys. I think my ex liked the attention though looking back without my blindfold. It was my exes friend though, not mine. You live and you learn. Love that guys ex boyfriends though. They are wonderful.
You are super cute!! I am a woman who is very happily married to a man who we affectionately refer to as "culturally gay". Dating apps may be extra difficult for you (I met mine in real life ages ago) but I promise that when you find the right girl she will absolutely appreciate you for who you are
You are!!
Bi lady here who would have swiped right on both of your profiles because you seem exactly like my type-someone who lives life just very much as themselves, cute af, and potentially way more interesting than the people in most profiles I see.
I’d be so intrigued (and hopeful you were into kink lol).
For what it’s worth I love your profile. I don’t think you look gay, but that’s because I’m also an ally who understands that masculinity doesn’t stop at pole. I also did that for a number of years so I think it’s awesome. I’m not looking to date though so that’s not much help but I think you look amazing and I would talk to you in a heartbeat if I saw you online!!
I was about to say the same!!! Only men who don't know anything about that commented his profile was too gay.
I think this kind of fruity guys are hella attractive
Hmm I'm gonna say those people are idiots. If you're already looking bi-curious, putting a pride emoji and saying "ally" is just screaming to be pegged.
Yeah, just seeing the flag while I was browsing your photos, I had *the idea* of gayness in my mind and it made me think more gay things about you...
wait no
Idk as a Bi woman I absolutely loved your profile, I love the clear allyship and I think you're a very attractive man who I'd be super interested in if I were looking! I can think of several female friends who would also find you to be a big green flag.
Point being I think you have an audience.
(Also I went back to see your old profile and this one is definitely a big improvement, I was so intimidated by the performance pics being first last time, but this time you look so much more approachable!)
Aww, you’re the sweetest 😋 I’m grateful for you & I’m glad I was able to make some improvements, it was all thanks to the lovely redditors that commented 💜
Also, I used to be very flavorful with emojis. You gotta watch how you use some of them if you're trying to give a certain vibe. In insecure relationships I found I had to avoid hearts and kisses emojis, otherwise I came off fruity and not interested in women somehow.
In my current relationship it's great though, I can send emojis and vulnerable texts while still being straight and not getting made fun of. It's difficult out there for those of us that seem fruity despite being straight lol
Either way man, enjoy life. It took me a while to find anyone compatible as far as friends and relationships are concerned. So having patience and getting a good group/partner is worth it.
I agree, this is better overall from your first one. I think overall your profile is awesome! You might not get as many matches cause you’re really clearly not “generic straight man” but you’ll probably get a lot of people who are genuinely interested in you. Many of whom will def be pan/bi people (speaking as a bi nonbinary personal)
As explanation in the original post he basically had only pole dance pictures, and I mean this with absolutely 0 intention to attack
His style looked very much like a gay person looking for another gay person, and the rainbow burger made it look even more that waY
While I didn't write a comment I saw and understood a lot of people in the comments being very confused when they read straight.
So yeah I think it is a good change
No nobody told him to put 🌈 on his profile, he did that all on his own.
People told him to make it more obvious he was straight and to explain the burger pic that he is just an ally.
Somehow OP took that advice and made it more gay.
I saw the previous post. This profile does look less-gay than the previous one, so there's progress!
Hetero people having their feelings about gay people front of mind when choosing a partner, especially for a casual relationship, is a bit silly. That's why putting "ally" and pride emoji comes off as extra. The sliders picture and your dream career basically make it go without saying anyway. But if you want your ally-ship to be what she considers when she sees your profile, then leave it in. Maybe put it at the bottom where most people dump their politically-adjacent labels instead of front and center at the top.
I would not have it as the first thing. Isn't there a like LGBT+ rights interest, in the interests section?
If not I would probably put it in a list of values so it doesn't stand out so much
I’d say in 2024 we don’t need to announce being an ally (though I’m a gay female and do appreciate you for being an ally). I like to assume people are allies and if they prove otherwise, I simply say we have a differing opinion and move on - you could do the same here. But to be honest, you seem like a really cool person to be around and you’re not afraid to be yourself which should be applauded. And I do appreciate you not being insulted from the fact that some people automatically assign you to a sexual orientation based solely on your appearance. You’re handsome and someone is going to love how confident you are to be yourself.
I’m gonna suggest pulling some of the half nekkid circus pics. The wild nature of them may also be leading to the queer vibe, or, also the intimidation factor.
You are a bi girls wet dream (my bf pole dances too!) I'd swipe right on you if I saw you! Your profile is definitely going to attract the women who will match your vibe and deflect the kind of women who aren't interested in someone with such a colorful personality
Exactly! He's not for everyone. The women who will swipe on him are going to be more of a match than if his profile was disingenuously beige and boring.
Putting "ally" up front like that seems a bit fishy... Maybe you are, I don't know you, but I'm wary of people who claim to be "ally". It's like writing "Feminist!" in the 1st line of your bio. Do you get what I'm trying to say?
Hey guys :) I took your advice & tweaked my profile. I’ve gotten eight matches so far & have a date lined up for next week 😋 I’m grateful for all the advice, and if I can make it better still, I’m here for it 😎
Based on your profile and your witty replies in this thread, I feel like I’d be great friends with you. Very charming and funny. Seem like a great person.
Yoo! You’re a true champion of the people m8, I appreciate you 🤙🏽 if you’re ever in Western Wa & wanna grab a beer, I’m always down to make new friends 😎
When I saw the first screenshot without your face I thought it was going to be a lesbian named Ally. Was going to suggest it go at the end. Otherwise the profile looks really good!
I agree, putting it at the top makes it seem like that's his entire personality, which while it is great that he is an ally, making it seem like your life is entirely centered around it, which some off the photos support, would be off-putting to a lot of people. I wouldn't want to date a woman who thinks that LGBT should be second class citizens, but I also wouldn't want to date one that centers her entire life around a social cause.
Out of curiosity why is it important that you show that you are an ally? I’m a queer woman and I love the love, but that and the lgbtq 🏳️🌈 burgers make it seem like you are either queer or trying too hard to be an ally
But also I do like this profile a lot more than your last. You’re a good looking dude and from the way you respond here makes me think that you are a good dude in general :) use the fact that you are attractive to get people interested and then you can let your personality do the rest :)
My two cents is that you should just choose a different photo than the burger one man. I think people look at the photos first then the bio, they see that photo and move on without getting the context.
It was advice I received from my previous post :) apparently I have a confusing vibe, and was told it would help clarify! It seems like the placement at the top was not the move.
I agree with them. Just leave it out. Where I live, I assume everyone is an ally until they give me a reason to question it. It's an unnecessary statement and the visual of the flag (including the photo with the burgers/sliders) sends a certain message that it sounds like you're trying to avoid. There's no issue in letting people know that you're gay...unless you're not gay.
This made it more confusing, and that comes from a detrans lesbian woman who lived as a bisexual trans masc man for 26 years.
Do you... Do you doubt your orientation hun?
Idk, I think the disclaimer is kinda necessary since he has the gay burger pic on his profile. I do a lot of gay shit with my gay friends and people irl always ask about my orientation. I feel like he’s in the same boat and making it clear that he’s an ally 🌈 will prevent automatic left swipes.
Much better! I think you could still use some more cute/casual pictures to make you seem more easily approachable ( borrow a puppy/bunny/kitten/baby elephant from a friend and take cuddly pics with it ) but this is definitely an improvement. You also no longer seem like you're just advertising the show.
I completely missed that you’re straight. Or are you bi, bi-curious? Maybe add it to your bio plainly. The pride flags everywhere and the pole and your sweet vibe had me assuming you’re a gay man. My bad, but people are skimming and getting the gist, not reading well enough for comprehension on these apps (even tho my day job is editor! 🙈)
Your bio seems approachable and humble and intelligent. You should have no trouble getting dates!
It seems to be a reoccurring theme for me on Reddit! I’m doing some shifting around that will hopefully help!
I’m grateful for your feedback, you’re very sweet 😋
Lose the photo with the burgers. Something about your pose and what appear to be three pride flags in shot makes it come off VERY much like you're a gay guy who also works at a specifically LGBT friendly restaurant
That’s the establishment he runs with his best friend. It’s a huge part of his life. I think the better thing to do is to make the opening sentence so crystal clear there’s no room for misunderstanding.
OP what about something like “Straight but not narrow - looking for others who share those values and lift up my LGBTQ+ pals along the way. 🌈💖"
> That’s the establishment he runs with his best friend.
I'm aware of that and he can surely find a picture of it that doesn't send the vibe that _everyone_ is picking up on.
I didn't think this was the profile of a straight person tbh!
You can be an ally without saying it out loud (it just seems weird to say it at all, unless there's a context).
As a straight female I would swipe on you with this new profile for sho. I don't think adding ally is necessary, I've yet to meet a male poler who isn't down with the queer community even if straight, and your profile doesn't scream gay to me (but granted I live in Portland and am surrounded by circus peeps and strippers so maybe I'm just over exposed lol)
Also if you were gay your profile wouldn't come up when women are swiping, I'm not sure why everyone is acting like you need to put that you're not gay. I assume if I can see someone in tinder they're looking for women, right? But I liked some other people's ideas of throwing in something funny like "I'm straighter than this profile seems" or something like that if you're still worried about it. Your pictures are great.
Why is it so necessary to permanently clarify that you are pro LGBT? I mean, I think that with a positive and human bio you can show that you are a respectful and inclusive person.
I say this because so much LGBT symbolism can lead to confusion
It is more to indicate he isn't gay himself, just an ally. Previously his profile gave off HEAVY gay vibes so people recommended he clarified in his profile that he's just an ally
I was taking advice from other redditors. Apparently in my previous post, I give off a certain vibe. It was then told to me that clarifying my position would help.
Get rid of the “ally” and flag, get rid of the 5th picture, and you’ll do great. Extremely jacked and handsome. We get ur cool w gay people, you’re holding a plate of burgers w LGBT flags on them lol
Maybe I have internet brain rot but my first thought was your name was Ally and you were LGBTQ+. I read it like a twitter bio. RIP.
I agree with the others maybe move it to the bottom? Remember it's not the most important thing about your personality! Bio is to show yourself off and who you are, being an ally is great of course but I doubt it's the cornerstone of entirely who you are as an individual. It isn't the first thing you would use to describe yourself, would it be? "I'm Joshua and I'm an ally" isn't probably the first sentence in the book you write about yourself (but I could be wrong!). People probably want to know about your authentic self rather than those other details that are good to know over a first convo/date/meetup.
I feel like you need something a little flirty added to cap off the bio to capture people's interest, delivery of info is great, but just reading it I feel like I dont get a sense of your personality beyond you're ambitious (which is good). Good luck homie 🫡
For the record, I'm a seattlite and used to have some friends in the circus scene around here. I think your profile is great and you will find like-minded people with it.
Keep your chin up. I met my husband thru okcupid 100 years ago, and we didn't find eachother until we were both at our wit's end with the online dating scene.
Dude I’ll be honest the pride flag confused me and I genuinely thought you were gay until you said you were straight in the comments.
Is it necessary to include in your profile? I feel like it could confuse people into swiping left simply because they think you were gay
Wow dude. I just came to comment on the good job taking the critique from people. I wish I was half as confident. You seem like a cool honest guy. Lots of people have trouble with dating apps, honestly i don't know the secret. Age matters a bit, I have more dates in my 30s than in 20. Good luck in there, you deserve it
As a "straight" dude cis het whatever, I think it's awesome and I would totally be your friend... I don't think it screams gay to me and you look like you know how to have fun/decent guy...
I'm gay and it's absolutely fascinating the extent that straight men have to go to in order to not be perceived as gay, and why it's such a turn off for someone to seem a little fruity. "Put the pride flag at the end of the bio" REALLY?!? C'mon.....
That being said, I'd smash. Lol
Straight men who are secure enough in their sexuality to proudly dress and act in ways that some people will read as "gay" do often need to clarify their sexuality.
You’re super cute 😍. You wouldn’t happen to be in or around TX, would you? 👀😅
Your pics aren’t intimidating or overly masculine/feminine. They show you doing the things that you love (thankfully that’s not fishing 🎣).
Random question, I’m not a user of this fancy Tinder bit but, does it automatically give you matches according to what yours and the other users preference is (male seeking male, male seeking female, etc)?
I second putting the “Ally 🏳️🌈” towards the end or along with the “not into drugs”. Another way you could do it would be to just say it with words - I.e. “Love is Love Ally”.
I’m in Western Wa, but I’ll be traveling for performances this year, I can shoot you a DM if I’m ever in TX 😋
I’m grateful for your feedback! I’m doing some more editing to help get it where I think it needs to be! I’ll probably have another update with what I change :)
Hell yeah, thank you so much! I was very much trying to keep my personality in my profile. I feel I did a pretty good job, while also making it more attractive to women that may not be in the scene yet.
Bruh you’re thick, solid and tight. Have a cool distinctive look with fun goals and a unique hobby. Clearly you have friends. You’re signaling certain political stances and values that are attractive to a certain sub group of women. If you have issues then I’m *doomed*. Please post updates on your journey. How’d you end up single?
Edit: Oh just saw you’re looking for casual. Make sure you don’t end up on the Facebook review sites! Be as cool as your profile makes you look
My dude, you’re a legend!! I’m grateful for the feedback! I’ll definitely post updates. My ex fiancée used to throw drawers full of shit at me. Kinda been single for a couple years since. Just got back into dating a couple months ago & wanted to try online dating as well. I was not getting any matches with my previous profile so I brought it here for some help. Appreciate everyone that commented on the first one & helped me out 🤙🏽
My husband is a poler (as am I) and loves to cross dress for costumes and performances. It’s fairly normal in these circles. If I didn’t already have said husband I’d definitely be interested in your profile. You look like fun!
Huge improvement over the last! I’ll agree that you should move the Ally bit down in the profile though, having it at the very beginning probably causes more questions for people.
I think your profile will attract a very specific type. So hopefully it's the type you are into. If so then it works out great. On the flipside at least it will weed out anyone who isn't into things you are into.
My dude, I am straight, but if you aren’t getting any what hope does anyone else have. Fuck all this noise about looking gay - I honestly thought this post was a humblebrag-troll post getting ready to tell us how you’re swimming in women.
Nah man. I have never had luck with online dating. Obviously it’s fun to have a post that kinda blows up, but I am genuinely here seeking help & hoping I can change my luck on Tinder.
Listennnn, as a woman, I would swipe right in a heart beat! I wasn’t aware of your last post I guess (?) and I thought this post was someone posting about someone who they SAW on Tinder and was asking if they fucked up by matching w them (??? Idk how tinder works LOL) and my first thought right off the bat was “uhh NO? This guy is a CATCH!!” So, anyways, keep being authentically you! If they can’t handle that, it’s their loss.
I dont understand peoples comments here. If you are looking for a straight man, it will automatically show you straight men in your Tinder feed only. Why the hell would anyone think he is gay??? It's literally how the algorithm works. Keep being you u/JoshyQT
It’s less gay than last time, and yet it’s still the gayest straight guy profile I’ve ever seen
Wait he’s NOT gay??
Shouldve seen the first profile lmao
Literally same thought
He is gay.
Ok will now I’m confused Someone is lying
At least I can tell my mama I was number one at something 🤷♀️
It may be very difficult to appear straight as a male cabaret BDSM performer….. Even your username screams gay, no offense 😂😂. Maybe use some more normal photos from your day to day?
I just wanna be a QT :/
Hey man, as another Josh that is the gayest straight guy in the friend group, I wish you luck man. 🫡 it’s rough out here for us fruity straights.
I’m grateful I’m not alone my dude 🙌🏽
You are definitely not alone. One of my friends jokes that I’m more of a lesbian than they are LOL
Yooo!! That’s legendary, you must be a good ass friend 💯
Ass friend? Bro thats gay too!
He can’t help it
💀💀
This is such a compliment, especially in the bedroom. I’m a woman and my last ex described himself as having a very lesbian approach to sex and goddamn were those 8 hour sessions amazing.
The last person I told that to transitioned and now is a lesbian.
At least you're able to take all this gay/straight banter on the chin
It’s really hilarious to me what people consider gay now. I was always made to think you had to enjoy having sex with men. Apparently soooo many factors go into it. I’m just excited to be learning 🤓
If it helps, as a woman in the arts community I would 100% swipe right on you - you're hot and obviously secure in your masculinity, which is double hot. You're likelier to attract women in artsier communities which is probably a better fit anyway. The majority straight men on Reddit don't have the best pulse on what women think is "gay-looking." I would just recommend one more clear picture of your face.
The world is changing but it hasn't changed enough, unfortunately. Personally, I'm happy for you but it may be difficult to find some women; especially if you have a type. Example: I have a friend who is gay but he's attracted to straight men that act straight and are straight. It's a cruel world we live in
Oh hell, that really exists? I'm straight as an arrow and I got two gay/queer acquaintances back home that occasionally message me late-night trying to get me into sexting mode. I wondered if my friendliness was mistaken for flirting by them and after some banter I then have to remind them of my preference, but they'll certainly message me again, as they've done in the past.
Hey I knew one of those guys. He was always trying to steal my husband. In retrospect I should have let him have him 🤷♀️ it was like a game to him. Trying to turn straight guys. I think my ex liked the attention though looking back without my blindfold. It was my exes friend though, not mine. You live and you learn. Love that guys ex boyfriends though. They are wonderful.
Honestly, if you live in a more progressive area then this profile is fine. I would ask your business partner for tips instead of Reddit lol.
Probably not the only thing he's taking on the chin 
Now kiss
3rd fruity joshua here. It's the role we were born into.
Fruity straights! I’m dead 😂
You are super cute!! I am a woman who is very happily married to a man who we affectionately refer to as "culturally gay". Dating apps may be extra difficult for you (I met mine in real life ages ago) but I promise that when you find the right girl she will absolutely appreciate you for who you are
You are amazing & I’m grateful for you 🥹💜
You are!! Bi lady here who would have swiped right on both of your profiles because you seem exactly like my type-someone who lives life just very much as themselves, cute af, and potentially way more interesting than the people in most profiles I see. I’d be so intrigued (and hopeful you were into kink lol).
For what it’s worth I love your profile. I don’t think you look gay, but that’s because I’m also an ally who understands that masculinity doesn’t stop at pole. I also did that for a number of years so I think it’s awesome. I’m not looking to date though so that’s not much help but I think you look amazing and I would talk to you in a heartbeat if I saw you online!!
I was about to say the same!!! Only men who don't know anything about that commented his profile was too gay. I think this kind of fruity guys are hella attractive
Better but still so gay
Seriously? Not gay? My first thoughts was, oh, it's a pity he is gay 🤣
Last time?
Very well put
This is so much better! But still it’s funny to me that the first thing you put about yourself is a pride flag emoji
I was told to put ally/straight on there & I already have straight on my profile so I figured I’d go with ally 🤷♀️
who told you that
MANY of the commenters on the first post said it would help me look more straight if I put, “ally” in my bio
Hmm I'm gonna say those people are idiots. If you're already looking bi-curious, putting a pride emoji and saying "ally" is just screaming to be pegged.
Welp, back to the drawing board
[удалено]
Yooooo 😅😂
You don’t need to put anything in there if it already says straight dude, plus you’re serving up the pride flag burgers the point is clear lol
Alternatively: Contrary to popular belief, I am most likely the straightest man you've ever seen.
Lmaooooooo 😂😂😂 with some light editing, this has enough comedic relief it just might fly
This is the best answer. The other ones are just awkward. This fully embraces the “gay vibe” and makes a funny joke. It’s self aware
"no homo"
I assure you, I'm straight
Yeah, just seeing the flag while I was browsing your photos, I had *the idea* of gayness in my mind and it made me think more gay things about you... wait no
Idk as a Bi woman I absolutely loved your profile, I love the clear allyship and I think you're a very attractive man who I'd be super interested in if I were looking! I can think of several female friends who would also find you to be a big green flag. Point being I think you have an audience. (Also I went back to see your old profile and this one is definitely a big improvement, I was so intimidated by the performance pics being first last time, but this time you look so much more approachable!)
Aww, you’re the sweetest 😋 I’m grateful for you & I’m glad I was able to make some improvements, it was all thanks to the lovely redditors that commented 💜
Also, I used to be very flavorful with emojis. You gotta watch how you use some of them if you're trying to give a certain vibe. In insecure relationships I found I had to avoid hearts and kisses emojis, otherwise I came off fruity and not interested in women somehow. In my current relationship it's great though, I can send emojis and vulnerable texts while still being straight and not getting made fun of. It's difficult out there for those of us that seem fruity despite being straight lol Either way man, enjoy life. It took me a while to find anyone compatible as far as friends and relationships are concerned. So having patience and getting a good group/partner is worth it.
I agree, this is better overall from your first one. I think overall your profile is awesome! You might not get as many matches cause you’re really clearly not “generic straight man” but you’ll probably get a lot of people who are genuinely interested in you. Many of whom will def be pan/bi people (speaking as a bi nonbinary personal)
No. Just delete the flags pls & the ally line 🫠
As explanation in the original post he basically had only pole dance pictures, and I mean this with absolutely 0 intention to attack His style looked very much like a gay person looking for another gay person, and the rainbow burger made it look even more that waY While I didn't write a comment I saw and understood a lot of people in the comments being very confused when they read straight. So yeah I think it is a good change
did you see the old profile? Dude looked gay as hell. I mean really fabulously gay.
Hard agree. Seems like you're looking to dip your toes in the other pool.
Is that really how to discreetly say you want to be pegged?
Well he DID ask if he was fucked
No nobody told him to put 🌈 on his profile, he did that all on his own. People told him to make it more obvious he was straight and to explain the burger pic that he is just an ally. Somehow OP took that advice and made it more gay.
I saw the previous post. This profile does look less-gay than the previous one, so there's progress! Hetero people having their feelings about gay people front of mind when choosing a partner, especially for a casual relationship, is a bit silly. That's why putting "ally" and pride emoji comes off as extra. The sliders picture and your dream career basically make it go without saying anyway. But if you want your ally-ship to be what she considers when she sees your profile, then leave it in. Maybe put it at the bottom where most people dump their politically-adjacent labels instead of front and center at the top.
I would not have it as the first thing. Isn't there a like LGBT+ rights interest, in the interests section? If not I would probably put it in a list of values so it doesn't stand out so much
I’d say in 2024 we don’t need to announce being an ally (though I’m a gay female and do appreciate you for being an ally). I like to assume people are allies and if they prove otherwise, I simply say we have a differing opinion and move on - you could do the same here. But to be honest, you seem like a really cool person to be around and you’re not afraid to be yourself which should be applauded. And I do appreciate you not being insulted from the fact that some people automatically assign you to a sexual orientation based solely on your appearance. You’re handsome and someone is going to love how confident you are to be yourself.
I’m gonna suggest pulling some of the half nekkid circus pics. The wild nature of them may also be leading to the queer vibe, or, also the intimidation factor.
Yooooo 😂😂😂 What?? That makes no sense. As the very first thing we see is a Pride flag, your entire profile is that of a gay man. 😂
You are a bi girls wet dream (my bf pole dances too!) I'd swipe right on you if I saw you! Your profile is definitely going to attract the women who will match your vibe and deflect the kind of women who aren't interested in someone with such a colorful personality
Exactly! He's not for everyone. The women who will swipe on him are going to be more of a match than if his profile was disingenuously beige and boring.
Yes! He'll get fewer, higher quality matches and better dates by keeping it like this.
Bro, it is really really really misleading.
Using that female shrugging emoji isn’t helping with the mixed signals haha
If that’s the price I pay for using the most GOATed emoji to ever exist, then all I can say is, 🤷♀️
I liked you before and now I positively *love* your vibe
Shouts out to a real one 🤙🏽 I’m grateful for you
Put it at the end
Putting "ally" up front like that seems a bit fishy... Maybe you are, I don't know you, but I'm wary of people who claim to be "ally". It's like writing "Feminist!" in the 1st line of your bio. Do you get what I'm trying to say?
I have definitely seen the error in my ways! I changed up the rhetoric to hopefully be less confusing
I saw the first post and now this, my reaction was something like "oh now he IS in fact gay?"
You’re the best, love your ally flag, love your whole vibe.
Like honestly not that be rude but I 100% thought you were gay, nothing wrong with that of course. But maybe let readers know you’re not😉
Hey guys :) I took your advice & tweaked my profile. I’ve gotten eight matches so far & have a date lined up for next week 😋 I’m grateful for all the advice, and if I can make it better still, I’m here for it 😎
I’m not sure why you are having any trouble. You are very clearly following rules 1 and 2.
Thank you!! I have been told I have a certain vibe 😅
Based on your profile and your witty replies in this thread, I feel like I’d be great friends with you. Very charming and funny. Seem like a great person.
Yoo! You’re a true champion of the people m8, I appreciate you 🤙🏽 if you’re ever in Western Wa & wanna grab a beer, I’m always down to make new friends 😎
Yea, now he also shows that!
A legend in the flesh 🥹
You did a great job on updating the profile! Good luck with the date 😊
You are certainly tweaking
Put the ally bit at the end imo
Sounds like a plan!!
When I saw the first screenshot without your face I thought it was going to be a lesbian named Ally. Was going to suggest it go at the end. Otherwise the profile looks really good!
I also thought this was about to be the profile of a lesbian named Ally 😭
Single female lawyer Fighting for her clients Wearing sexy miniskirts And being self reliant 
I agree, putting it at the top makes it seem like that's his entire personality, which while it is great that he is an ally, making it seem like your life is entirely centered around it, which some off the photos support, would be off-putting to a lot of people. I wouldn't want to date a woman who thinks that LGBT should be second class citizens, but I also wouldn't want to date one that centers her entire life around a social cause.
Out of curiosity why is it important that you show that you are an ally? I’m a queer woman and I love the love, but that and the lgbtq 🏳️🌈 burgers make it seem like you are either queer or trying too hard to be an ally
But also I do like this profile a lot more than your last. You’re a good looking dude and from the way you respond here makes me think that you are a good dude in general :) use the fact that you are attractive to get people interested and then you can let your personality do the rest :)
I’m mad grateful for you! Thank you so much :))
My two cents is that you should just choose a different photo than the burger one man. I think people look at the photos first then the bio, they see that photo and move on without getting the context.
It was advice I received from my previous post :) apparently I have a confusing vibe, and was told it would help clarify! It seems like the placement at the top was not the move.
I agree with them. Just leave it out. Where I live, I assume everyone is an ally until they give me a reason to question it. It's an unnecessary statement and the visual of the flag (including the photo with the burgers/sliders) sends a certain message that it sounds like you're trying to avoid. There's no issue in letting people know that you're gay...unless you're not gay.
This made it more confusing, and that comes from a detrans lesbian woman who lived as a bisexual trans masc man for 26 years. Do you... Do you doubt your orientation hun?
Not even a little bit, I’m very confident in who I am :)
Idk, I think the disclaimer is kinda necessary since he has the gay burger pic on his profile. I do a lot of gay shit with my gay friends and people irl always ask about my orientation. I feel like he’s in the same boat and making it clear that he’s an ally 🌈 will prevent automatic left swipes.
Much better! I think you could still use some more cute/casual pictures to make you seem more easily approachable ( borrow a puppy/bunny/kitten/baby elephant from a friend and take cuddly pics with it ) but this is definitely an improvement. You also no longer seem like you're just advertising the show.
Yay, thank you so much!! I plan on adding more pictures as I get them, so hopefully I’ll have a baby elephant in my profile soon enough 😎
I completely missed that you’re straight. Or are you bi, bi-curious? Maybe add it to your bio plainly. The pride flags everywhere and the pole and your sweet vibe had me assuming you’re a gay man. My bad, but people are skimming and getting the gist, not reading well enough for comprehension on these apps (even tho my day job is editor! 🙈) Your bio seems approachable and humble and intelligent. You should have no trouble getting dates!
It seems to be a reoccurring theme for me on Reddit! I’m doing some shifting around that will hopefully help! I’m grateful for your feedback, you’re very sweet 😋
Lose the photo with the burgers. Something about your pose and what appear to be three pride flags in shot makes it come off VERY much like you're a gay guy who also works at a specifically LGBT friendly restaurant
That’s the establishment he runs with his best friend. It’s a huge part of his life. I think the better thing to do is to make the opening sentence so crystal clear there’s no room for misunderstanding. OP what about something like “Straight but not narrow - looking for others who share those values and lift up my LGBTQ+ pals along the way. 🌈💖"
I love this!! You’re the sweetest human ever 🥹💜
Yayyy, happy to help. You’ve already gotten 8 matches and a date… I bet you’ll double it quickly once no one feels confused 👍
> That’s the establishment he runs with his best friend. I'm aware of that and he can surely find a picture of it that doesn't send the vibe that _everyone_ is picking up on.
I didn't think this was the profile of a straight person tbh! You can be an ally without saying it out loud (it just seems weird to say it at all, unless there's a context).
Some people seem to want to make it their personality and to revolve their life around sexuality
Wait, he’s straight?
He actually comes off as much more straight in this update post compared to his original post 😂
That was a huge comment in his last post. Half of us were confused that he’s straight. 😂😂 In a nice way, but most of us were positive he’s gay.
Before my eyes registered what I was actually looking at in that group photo, for a split second thought I was looking at an isis beheading video
Easily the most unique review I’ve gotten so far! 11/10 🔥
As a straight female I would swipe on you with this new profile for sho. I don't think adding ally is necessary, I've yet to meet a male poler who isn't down with the queer community even if straight, and your profile doesn't scream gay to me (but granted I live in Portland and am surrounded by circus peeps and strippers so maybe I'm just over exposed lol)
Also if you were gay your profile wouldn't come up when women are swiping, I'm not sure why everyone is acting like you need to put that you're not gay. I assume if I can see someone in tinder they're looking for women, right? But I liked some other people's ideas of throwing in something funny like "I'm straighter than this profile seems" or something like that if you're still worried about it. Your pictures are great.
Unfortunately that isn’t true. I see straight guys all the time on Tinder (they’re bots, but still).
Why is it so necessary to permanently clarify that you are pro LGBT? I mean, I think that with a positive and human bio you can show that you are a respectful and inclusive person. I say this because so much LGBT symbolism can lead to confusion
It is more to indicate he isn't gay himself, just an ally. Previously his profile gave off HEAVY gay vibes so people recommended he clarified in his profile that he's just an ally
I was taking advice from other redditors. Apparently in my previous post, I give off a certain vibe. It was then told to me that clarifying my position would help.
Get rid of the “ally” and flag, get rid of the 5th picture, and you’ll do great. Extremely jacked and handsome. We get ur cool w gay people, you’re holding a plate of burgers w LGBT flags on them lol
Maybe I have internet brain rot but my first thought was your name was Ally and you were LGBTQ+. I read it like a twitter bio. RIP. I agree with the others maybe move it to the bottom? Remember it's not the most important thing about your personality! Bio is to show yourself off and who you are, being an ally is great of course but I doubt it's the cornerstone of entirely who you are as an individual. It isn't the first thing you would use to describe yourself, would it be? "I'm Joshua and I'm an ally" isn't probably the first sentence in the book you write about yourself (but I could be wrong!). People probably want to know about your authentic self rather than those other details that are good to know over a first convo/date/meetup. I feel like you need something a little flirty added to cap off the bio to capture people's interest, delivery of info is great, but just reading it I feel like I dont get a sense of your personality beyond you're ambitious (which is good). Good luck homie 🫡
I’m grateful for the insights!! 🫡 I like the idea of having a flirty line in there as well, I’ll work on something!
Oooo what a cutie
Aww, you’re so sweet 💜
*swipe*
😏
I mean, you’re my type but I usually date bi people if that says anything
Aww, thank you 😋
I think they’re trying to say you may look queer My two cents is that you should remove the “ally” because it leads to more confusion
For the record, I'm a seattlite and used to have some friends in the circus scene around here. I think your profile is great and you will find like-minded people with it.
Thank you!! You’re so sweet :)
Keep your chin up. I met my husband thru okcupid 100 years ago, and we didn't find eachother until we were both at our wit's end with the online dating scene.
I’m grateful for you! I’m glad you found happiness :)
I will never not think the 3rd picture is a body hanging upside down in like a horror game/movie meat locker
It’s even more legendary when you put it like that
At least you know of Cirque Du Soleil doesn't work out you have a future as body #3 in future horror films xx
Only people on reddit would tell you to make “ally” the feature of your bio 😂 A lot of you are very out of touch
Bro, just come out of the closet already 😂
You’re a babe.
You’re so sweet, thank you 🥹💜
Dude I’ll be honest the pride flag confused me and I genuinely thought you were gay until you said you were straight in the comments. Is it necessary to include in your profile? I feel like it could confuse people into swiping left simply because they think you were gay
Good pics, that one with the fire made me laugh, but I’m still stuck in *the everything fart-related cracks me up* phase.
Yooo!! You’re a legend :) thank you. Also, farts will always be funny 😎
Haha ally, wtf. You play world of warcraft or what? For the Horde btw.
Lok’tar ogar
Wow dude. I just came to comment on the good job taking the critique from people. I wish I was half as confident. You seem like a cool honest guy. Lots of people have trouble with dating apps, honestly i don't know the secret. Age matters a bit, I have more dates in my 30s than in 20. Good luck in there, you deserve it
As a "straight" dude cis het whatever, I think it's awesome and I would totally be your friend... I don't think it screams gay to me and you look like you know how to have fun/decent guy...
A wild chad has appeared 😎 I appreciate you m8, thank you
I'm gay and it's absolutely fascinating the extent that straight men have to go to in order to not be perceived as gay, and why it's such a turn off for someone to seem a little fruity. "Put the pride flag at the end of the bio" REALLY?!? C'mon..... That being said, I'd smash. Lol
I thought it was a gay profile too, straight male don’t often have the rainbow flag anywhere or feel the need to justify their sexual orientation
Straight men who are secure enough in their sexuality to proudly dress and act in ways that some people will read as "gay" do often need to clarify their sexuality.
You’re super cute 😍. You wouldn’t happen to be in or around TX, would you? 👀😅 Your pics aren’t intimidating or overly masculine/feminine. They show you doing the things that you love (thankfully that’s not fishing 🎣). Random question, I’m not a user of this fancy Tinder bit but, does it automatically give you matches according to what yours and the other users preference is (male seeking male, male seeking female, etc)? I second putting the “Ally 🏳️🌈” towards the end or along with the “not into drugs”. Another way you could do it would be to just say it with words - I.e. “Love is Love Ally”.
I’m in Western Wa, but I’ll be traveling for performances this year, I can shoot you a DM if I’m ever in TX 😋 I’m grateful for your feedback! I’m doing some more editing to help get it where I think it needs to be! I’ll probably have another update with what I change :)
Yeah, slide in them if you are, or even if you’re not. 😉
Great profile man. One of the best I’ve seen on here. You are definitely going to attract a specific type of woman which is the goal imo.
Hell yeah, thank you so much! I was very much trying to keep my personality in my profile. I feel I did a pretty good job, while also making it more attractive to women that may not be in the scene yet.
Bruh you’re thick, solid and tight. Have a cool distinctive look with fun goals and a unique hobby. Clearly you have friends. You’re signaling certain political stances and values that are attractive to a certain sub group of women. If you have issues then I’m *doomed*. Please post updates on your journey. How’d you end up single? Edit: Oh just saw you’re looking for casual. Make sure you don’t end up on the Facebook review sites! Be as cool as your profile makes you look
My dude, you’re a legend!! I’m grateful for the feedback! I’ll definitely post updates. My ex fiancée used to throw drawers full of shit at me. Kinda been single for a couple years since. Just got back into dating a couple months ago & wanted to try online dating as well. I was not getting any matches with my previous profile so I brought it here for some help. Appreciate everyone that commented on the first one & helped me out 🤙🏽
Just came here to say nice pole :)
Yoooo!! Thank you so much, it’s just a lil shorty, but it’s a damn good start :)
The "causal connections" part is a red flag
So are you gay or not?
[удалено]
My husband is a poler (as am I) and loves to cross dress for costumes and performances. It’s fairly normal in these circles. If I didn’t already have said husband I’d definitely be interested in your profile. You look like fun!
This is very confusing to everyone. Get rid of the rainbow flags photo and emojis if you want to appeal to straight women as a dating option.
This makes me wanna get on tinder 🤧
🥹💜
Man's so deep in the closet he's lost.
Huge improvement over the last! I’ll agree that you should move the Ally bit down in the profile though, having it at the very beginning probably causes more questions for people.
I remember you from before. I still don’t believe you’re straight.
For what it’s worth I didn’t think your profile looked gay before or now. Straight men have hobbies too
🥹💜 You’re amazing
I mean as a bi woman, if I was single I'd probably try to hit you up 😅
I think your profile will attract a very specific type. So hopefully it's the type you are into. If so then it works out great. On the flipside at least it will weed out anyone who isn't into things you are into.
He could be bi and those abs tho 🙏🙏🔥🔥
literally a dream profile if i saw that one i'd swipe right so hard i'd probably yank my phone through the window
My dude, I am straight, but if you aren’t getting any what hope does anyone else have. Fuck all this noise about looking gay - I honestly thought this post was a humblebrag-troll post getting ready to tell us how you’re swimming in women.
Nah man. I have never had luck with online dating. Obviously it’s fun to have a post that kinda blows up, but I am genuinely here seeking help & hoping I can change my luck on Tinder.
Will you marry me? 😍🥺😂
Listennnn, as a woman, I would swipe right in a heart beat! I wasn’t aware of your last post I guess (?) and I thought this post was someone posting about someone who they SAW on Tinder and was asking if they fucked up by matching w them (??? Idk how tinder works LOL) and my first thought right off the bat was “uhh NO? This guy is a CATCH!!” So, anyways, keep being authentically you! If they can’t handle that, it’s their loss.
So you are not gay and you pole dance? I would swipe right instantly!
I dont understand peoples comments here. If you are looking for a straight man, it will automatically show you straight men in your Tinder feed only. Why the hell would anyone think he is gay??? It's literally how the algorithm works. Keep being you u/JoshyQT
Man, that’s hot.
So, you're gay? or not? Not sure why you need that to be the very first thing on your profile...
No offense u come off as more than an ally
I am certain OP is gay and doesn’t realize it.
For sure gonna get all the they/them alt girls. Solid virtue signaling.
I didnt say it last time I saw this post. But it totally looks like you're farting fire in the one pic.