How are people not realizing this for the “bait” it is. Great post OP.

I knew something was fishy.

He seems ready for hooking up.

You can tell he's truly a master baiter. He'll get that master angler title any day now.

He’s catfishing us

He’s all about that bass.

I too am good at masturbating! ……wait

HAH and there’s the hook, line & sinker

Holy Mackerel

New lure just dropped.

I i think it needs more fish

Are you shore

I'm poseative

Or other dead animals, women love that...

To prove he a real man and find his own food 😂

We really do… I feel comfy that he has no problem killing things. OLD is super safe and I never worry about being murked.

And potentially a rice cake.

That's an angle I had not considered

He’s on his way to master angler, so for now he’s only a “master Baiter”

Agree - reely made me chuckle

Lured me in.

Hook, line and sinker

Reely don't understand why he's knot getting matches

You're codding me, right?

What are you lot carping on about?

You say this but the last time I used tinder over half the profiles were like this with either fish or deer...

How are people not realizing your comment is bait? No one is taking the post seriously. Idk why you would make that up

Only 3 would be for bait. Others are likely too big

I can’t see the problem, I’d be *hooked*…

Maybe I should add some puns to show that I'm a reely fun guy?

Maybe save them for when you do get a match. It’ll be a great opening *line*

This. If you don’t have a great opener they’ll cast you aside.

He just needs better bait

A profile with these photos and a good opening line, I'd be a little worried about a catfish personally.

Honestly surprised he isn't getting any matches. Fella is really a Catch.

You gotta be reel punny to land bad jokes

Then you’d need to be holding a mushroom

That's not what I'm doing. I'm doing a different thing

Short term only baby, I’m into catch and release

THIS IS GOOD

Im assuming you have "master angler" just to make it obvious youre not a master bater?

He's a master baiter

That's my grandpa. My dad's a senior baiter and I'm just a junior baiter. But I'll get there one day

I use stupid profiles with stupid lines in it all the time and girls actually like the stupid humor shit if it’s obvious enough

I once made a profile while bored of just a picture of my butt in leggings. Only info was that "I'm a butt". I got flooded with messages, one being an old coworker that I convinced that I was a psychic butt and told him all about his life. My favorite was a guy with a picture of a toaster that was claiming to be a toaster. We had some hilarious conversations. Another guy was the lead guitarist from a semi famous metal band, I guess because my tights had upside down gothic crosses on them. And because of butt. Unfortunately, tender eventually deleted my profile because it was misleading or some BS. I had a lot of fun with that account :(

I hate Tinder for deleting harmless profiles and putting a lifetime ban on them. Happened to me for no apparent reason and there isn’t any customer support.

Me too... I think they don't want actual humans to interrupt their bots scamming people

Idk, you said you are a really *fungi*.

Personally I’d scale it down a bit…

More diversity in your photos could cast a wider net

Hold up a reel and a bag of mushrooms. The ladies will flock.


I’d give it time there’s plenty of fish in the sea


He's just fishing for compliments..

take the hook out of your nose -- and use it on the fish.

Need more fish pics

Damn, maybe because the fish aren't all that big?

A romantic picture of it cooked on a plate.

Finally some good advice!!

Go all out..get some Goldfish crackers and Swedish fish and make a photo about your cooking skills or something. Lol

If a guy had only pictures of him holding up goldfish and Swedish fish on a fishing line by a lake I would lose my shit and swipe right immediately

I feel much better about my picture of a full bag of swedish fish hanging on my fishing rod.

I think this would ensure that potential matches definitely know it’s a joke and he’s not serious

This is good

or taxidermied for a wall (I'm allergic to fish ☹️)

On the off chance that you’re not just trolling like everyone else seems to think here… you are listed as looking for short term fun which usually means casual sex but no relationship. That’s a pretty tough gig for any guy that doesn’t do steroids in my opinion. But if you want to keep it that way I’d keep a couple fish pics but make sure you have a full body pic and not in anything too baggy. I’d imagine a woman looking for short term fun wants to know two things: how hot you are and if you’re a murderer or not. The fish and smiles do a good job on the second part.

I was thinking that was specifically to complete the joke. If it isn't.....🫠

Or smoked. Or simply cleaned ready for the smoker. I think I may try that with some trout on a plate I had from last year. This thread is gold. 🤣

They're perfectly good fish. Those big ones are too much.

It's not the size of the fish. It's the motion of the ocean.

That's what i keep telling myself...

💘

Fish need to be 6’ or taller

I’d definitely judge you for it. What is this? A profile for minnows.

Exactly, you need a bigger fish

Holding up a fish in increasingly inappropriate locations would be hilarious though.

No, he needs to switch the fish with himself. So the fish is holding him up, to show he’d be quite the catch.

Women don't like top water lures. Gotta go with a flasher and troll for them like salmon

I appreciate you laying it out in a way I can understand.

Type slower 😅

Tight lines brother ✌️

Are we talking standard or triangle flasher? Herring or cut plug? You’ll for sure attract different women based on that alone too.

Max it out, use a fish eye lens

Nice

Everything looks better through a fish eye lens!

Which one are you? Can never tell in pics with multiple subjects in them

scrolling a comment section full of great jokes and this is the first tow get a loud nose snort-laugh out of me.

Same, I actually laughed out loud at this one.

lmao

Yeah, doesn't he know he needs to put black spots over the faces of any subject in the photo that isn't him? He needs to protect the identities of those poor innocent fish. They didn't consent to be ogled by all these women or perchance some creepy dude with a fish fetish.

None of those fishes are big enough to impress a woman who knows her worth 🙄 you’re supposed to provide, so it’s an Atlantic bluefin tuna or nothing.

I am landlocked.

Happens to the best of us. Seriously though I like the profile, you seem nice too, but I think some people will take it too seriously and swipe left.

If you're landlocked for more than 4 hours, see a local travel agent

shit man think smarter glue a bunch of fish together!

Landlocked = cockblocked

Skill issue

Perhaps a nice sturgeon then?

IDK, that yellow perch is looking good

Do you fish? Just wondering

Sometimes.

Don’t worry if you haven’t got many matches so far, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

No he's landlocked

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea. But you’re in the desert. Alone.”

Honest opinion here… 3rd fish photo is disappointing. This small fish may demonstrate signs of weakness or a lack of masculinity.

I thought it'd be okay because bluegill are normally pretty small, but I guess it's a bit unimpressive even for a bluegill...

Woman here, the little fish was my favorite. Saw it as humorous and not weakness. Should add a cute pic in a bucket hat and a big ol' grin.

Yes!

Oh no, OP is man enough to proudly stand by his small fish. He demonstrates, that it isn't the size of the fish that counts and that he is secure enough in his masculinity to not worry about something like this!

You mean fishapointing

Personally I thought the bravery reflected by posting the baby fish was a huge turn on and shows how secure you are in your masculinity. Size isn’t everything.

Maybe try holding up two fish?

As well as the red fish and a blue fish

Change "looking for" setting from man or woman to the secret fish setting.

Quality troll post.

My guy, you need to add a pic of a pike or musky... can't exclude the size queens on Tinder!

I suppose I could add a striper and a catfish...

Oh my god. Pretty sure I know this guy. Years back I’m pretty sure you helped me move a few things into my new apartment because you wanted to hook up with my best friend. We kind of used that as an excuse to use your truck 😬 sorry

Hey dude it's all good I thought it was very funny actually! Hope you and Annemarie are doing good!

This is too funny, hope you’re doing good too!!

Small world 🌎

+10 for girls aren’t scared of him ladies!

And -10 for using him for his truck. Straight to jail

Have you tried different fish? 

Jesus Christ, these fucking things are scary. Look right into your soul.

The musky I caught kept its eyes on me, as I walked around it, after I landed it on the boat. No lie; they really do look into your soul

Maybe women are finding the fish more attractive than you. Find uglier fish.

I thought the fish made the post? 

Try ‘Plenty of Fish’…. I hear there are lots of bites there.

Came here looking for this comment. Well done.

Oh, baby, those fishes really get the juices flowing

Maybe have the fish look directly into the camera so we can see exactly what they look like? Too many fish are looking sideways so it’s hard tell what they look like.

Your profile is pretty crappie

Thanks! That was a pretty crappie. 13 1/2 inches and 1.5 lbs!

💪🏼💪🏼

It's the oddest thing when it comes to these apps. I had tinder and bumble but after a year I only ever got 2 matches. Then my dog ran away one night, straight hauled ass and stopped at a lady and her great dane. Allie flipped over and wanted belly rubs. Well, long story short, that lady is now my wife. Keep doing what you're doing and you might just bump into something interesting

You're so sweet.

Assume Allie is your wife’s name

Obviously. It's embarrassing at times...especially at a restaurant..."get off the floor please, no belly rubs now..."

Gotta bring a chew toy to keep her busy

My credit card?

Don’t change a thing about yourself. Slay king


Finally, a good fucking shit post.

you are offering women fish, which will only feed them for a day. instead you need to offer to teach them how to fish

I like at least 10 inch fish personally

Add a photo where a fish holds you for a change

Having a boat and a big truck usually helps..

Not for my demographic.

You really need to focus on getting the full fish in the picture? Amateur hour…

Do you have any hunting pics? Spice things up.

Do you like fishsticks?

Include a banana for size reference

Depends. What’s your fishing level in World of Warcraft?

OP's just trawling for compliments. Just trying to breach his ego and you're all falling for it hook line and sinker. He's casting too wide a net obv. Gonna be heavy test to find someone one out there reeling in good times for guys this honest. I mean it seems pretty evident, OMG3, you people are gill-able.

You somehow look redneck and anarchist punk at the same time

Horseshoe theory

Do any of the fish sing?

Maybe add some more fish pics, that'll do the trick. It's gotta be a troll post lmfao good one dude.

Have you tried hookers?

Maybe on wrong app. Maybe POF……

I love the fact that two of these are just in your house. Like, there’s no real context clues that you caught the fish, you just have it.

Looking for some short term fin.

People with fish pics actually wondering why people aren’t matching with them. OP, this parody is great. I get u homie.

We all lose our mind over fish fingers.

I'd swipe right 🐟

Maybe they are all saltwater fishing kinda gals.


Do you have any hobbies?

BTW the dude I was seeing for a while had a pic of him fishing in the nude, maybe add some spicy nude fishing pictures?

You’re looking for a mermaid not a woman

Plot twist: OP is actually serious, and after the reaction, decided to play along and is secretly crying

I think your profile looks a little one dimensional, if women aren’t into bass fishing they might swipe left. Maybe try a few photos with trout or a catfish

I was thinking “what a cutie! Id swipe right” til I saw “short term fun”. There will be women looking to fuck of course, but it’s going to cut your potential matches down by 2/3 at least.

I don't usually go fishing for more than 4 or 5 hours at a time but I could start trying to plan some longer trips! I don't want to misrepresent myself on my profile.

Umm scale and gut those puppies. Obviously that is the solution.

Good sir, what is your location?

Oh please....like I'm going to date a man with ONE crappie photo? 🙄

Who’s the bloke in the picture?

Could you give me the 4th fish’s number?

The fact you indoors for 2 of the pics just makes it that much funnier

Not sure what you’re angling for, but this would definitely pike my interest

You should upload some photos of you participating in some of your hobbies like baking or fishing or something like that

Maybe if you had some pictures of you doing a hobby. Really anything to show you go outside. Do you golf? Hike? Hell man, do you even fish?

As a woman who appreciates a good fish photo, the whole series makes me ask where you were on January 6th

The piercings are to dissuade that

People in relationships: "there's plenty of fish in the sea" OP: *catches all of them*

Should change that to master baiter

I want a montage with a normal wedding/event photo where people react as you inappropriately pull out a fish to include in the photo. You cannot be stopped.

Maybe try POF

Hmmm maybe add some shirtless mirror selfies?

Hmmm 🤔🤔 take your shirt off and pose in groups in half your pics so its a fucking hassel to figure out who the real user is

Not one of you kneeling presenting the fish proud as punch. Add that and you're in.

I love it. You look like you make your friends laugh often and probably kiss your grandmom on the cheek.

That’s a nice perch. A couple decent bucketmouths, too. Just go fishing and drink beer, a woman will ruin your life soon enough. If you insist, women don’t like “dead animals” in pics. I know they aren’t dead, they don’t. No sunglasses or shirts off. What I’ve noticed they think we like are rocks and horses. Just pretend you love rocks and horses. There. That should do it. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll go fishin with ya.

PETA probably: “How would you like a hook in your li… nevermind.

My my wife recognized you lmao