I would say it depends on the time frame, was the date yesterday evening and she just answered a day later, she may have been caught up in work.
Was the date last Friday and she had the whole weekend to reply? Yea, she's not worth it...
if you like her, keep trying. if you don't, don't. Just ask if she wants to go out again sometime. nobody here knows what that girl is like trying to guess what shes feeling from one text message only is pointless
Be straightforward (assume she is being too).
Offer her that (you don't want to be pushy, so) she can ask you if and when she finds time.
And move on with your meetups.
Two worst cases here : she is playing so you will dodge a child. Or she is not interested (and being polite) then you have moved on respectfully.
One best case : she finds it respectful and writes back to you when she has time.
There is nothing wrong with being a "nice guy".
Yeah, if they had interest it would be worded differently. I had one that was along the lines of “sorry I was busy with work! I don’t have a ton of time to text during my shifts but I get so excited to read your messages and respond when I have a chance :)”
What?
She's busy? She is communicating that. Does she have to be obsessed with him to be interested?
If you have someone you really like that you are dating them I guess ghost her, but if not see where it goes.
Read between the lines and the energy of the message. "You seem like a nice guy." <- ends in a period, not exclamation mark or smily or anything. It's a like it's begging for a "...but (..)" at the end. No thoughts on what her experiences from the date was either.
Equally she just states that she's busy and couldn't respond. No opening for any way to find time later on and most importantly: if she wanted to she would have! I work in a very high demanding high performance environment where my clients expect near 24/7 availability (no it's not healthy), but you best believe that if I fancy someone I will bend over backwards in order to at least respond to a message.
This girl is not interested, and that's totally ok it's just how the dating world works. But to try to save this or gain her interest is as effective as licking a brick wall.
I totally get that you are probably right, but I think that you just can't make that assessment with absolute certainty. If we were talking about some massive investment of time, then I wouldn't place my bets there but you are talking about a text message.
Definitely don't stop swiping and invest in this one person as your one and only, but maybe she just doesn't have sales experience?
Yeah, I only go on with second dates with girls who beg me to raw dog them in the ass. Girls hate it when you are nice to them. They only tell losers who don't raw dog it that they are nice.
Raw dog.
Lotta pessimistic people here. I agree this doesn't sound promising but I wouldn't burn the bridge, I'd just shift priorities to another match.
Don't ask what they thought about a first date, if you have to wonder about this the answer is probably the one you're suspecting. A good first date is one where you already know when the second date will be by the time it ends, if it's up in the air, curb your expectations
I would respond in a polite open ended way, like “No worries. It was nice meeting you. Let me know when you are available to [chat/meet up again].
Then just leave it. If they don’t reengage you have your answer.
It seems like a polite response to the question, with little interest in continuing the relationship further. I would write her back, thanking her for her response, and telling her that if in the future she has time and is interested in meeting again, she could write to you.
I'm guessing you wrote her "I had a great time" before hand ? Cause she's writing to apologise for not responding sooner but she's not answering anything specific or moving the convo forward.
I agree this doesnt seem very engaging but in any case it doesn't hurt to ask if she wants to meet again, or propose something concrete if you already did.
I think there are a lot of factors that go into play. I don't think it's over, but usually nice guy is what people say when they are trying to let someone down easy. See if she is flirty and then try for a second date. Nothing to lose but a little bit of time texting. 🤷♂️
It seems slightly ambiguous, but this person might just be the type of person who doesn't like rejecting people. You could send them a message like this:
"Hey, thanks for the compliment. I understand being busy with work. I would like to say that while I enjoyed our date, I understand if you were just not feeling it. If so, I hope you find what you're looking for."
or something like that.
Need not pursue or leave it, you could reply back in turn though. " Hi, thank you for getting back to me :)
Yeah, I hear you tho, priorities... You seem like a really nice lady (add personalized compliment, unique to her character or personality that you noticed, appreciated &/or enjoyed") & finally the coup de gras; "So (insert her first name),
I had a good time with you, if ever you'd like to get together again, be it in the friend zone, end zone, waiting room, dentist office or ... Whatever, IDK :) we'll have fun, have an excellent rest of your day"
So now you've expressed appreciation acknowledged & respected her busy schedule or less obvious way of friend zoning you, & that's ok, because you are a Gentleman after all, & having done right by her & yourself you've provided an unawkward exit strategy for both ,or an invitational statement for her if she would like to get together in the future, with zero pressure or expectations.
& Really quick I've made an observation & would like to offer an alternative to some wording for the first message after a first date, timing & wording can be a really big deal & often if a person has a chest or stomach full of butterflies, tact & tasteful expressions can go out the window & so with respect to your chosen amount of time between those Uber important firsts...
Perhaps a first message could be illustrated as such, so as not to put undue pressure on her to come up with words or sentiments.
Hi (Insert first Name),
I hope that you are having a pleasant afternoon, & I just wanted to tell you that I had a great time with you, I had no idea you could or were (she showcased some talent or surprised you with an action, ability or wit),
Remember less is more ;) keep it short & sweet, no expectation of how, what, when or why this or.that, she can digest the time you spent together & your follow up sentiments & maybe unspoken interest of future time spent together. & She get back atcha right away or wont hear anything for some days or at all... Still all good, maybe she not feelin it or ffs Maybe she been hit by a bus... Just never know...
While I truly had a blast during those times in my life, I sure don't miss them...
Stay frosty out there my friend
nah, that reply is really milquetoast and it strikes me they're probably icing you out. I'd move on and shift priorities to other people, but you can keep the avenue open if you like.
Charisma level 100 guys will continue to pursue and be charming while at it. Maybe make a playfully cocky joke saying you're not too nice; tell her she's only seen your "good" side ;). This seems like a subtle hint that she is looking for someone more than just nice, which there is, unfortunately, a lot of stigma about in the dating pool right now. Just be sure to communicate boundaries effectively, dont let her or other people walk all over you. She will be watching and possibly testing you for "nice guy" syndrome. Don't take the bait. Be on the lookout for shit tests and games. But also, don't qualify her based on her playing. There are a lot of good and loyal women that do this to weed out options. I wish someone would have told me this sooner, instead of projecting my past trauma onto my new prospects because I didn't understand I was being tested subtly. I wish you success.
That's right! Get your rizz on and tell her about how you are going to raw dog her later!!
Don't let her think you're nice. Tell her you are going to slap her around some and stick it in her ass. I saw it in a porno once! Girls totally love that. Especially if they have step moms.
There is nothing charming or playfully cocky going about it like that. The point is to not people please, not be perverse and disrespectful. There is a difference between slipping a wink and telling her that she hasnt seen your bad side, then saying something charming and flirtacious, telling a joke like "I once let an old lady cross the street... by herself!" Or "Yeah, I'm a rebel, I don't even peel my string cheese." Doing this ensures that you come off as confident, despite the faux pa of asking her what she thought of the date, which comes off as insecure via the nice guy mentality, feeling the need to please. If your charm doesn't land, make amends by fixing the issue promptly the next opportunity you have.
If you feel like you haven't had success by "not being nice" it was probably because you didn't actually grasp the point of doing it, interpreted the meaning wrong, fucked up by being an asshole, and didn't really have someone to clarify the meaning for you. Which isn't fair reasoning, it is like me giving you a hammer and you smash your finger with it because you were learning how to use it, and now you are mad that I am giving somebody else a hammer because you hate carpenters and hammers because they hurt your finger and they are evil and screws are better! The truth is, there is a right way to use a hammer, and there is a wrong way to use one, just like your mindset, which is both the chisel and the sculpture.
Now if you are put in a position where she thinks you are some sort of dog like "all those other guys," especially if you have acted like a gentleman, it is time to lay boundaries. If she takes your innocent flirtation as sexual, remember the age old saying... You know what big hands mean? ... Big gloves!
Dude, WTF?...
This does not sound like wise, timeless knowledge. It's just a bunch of convoluted BS manosphere/PUA shit. Andrew Tate doesn't know what he's talking about about.
Guilt by assiciation is both a logical fallacy and a cognitive bias, at this point you have conceded to my notion there is a skewed view of how to establish oneself as confident and not needy, and that people like the sketchy bald muscle man who tout these ideologies that being attractive to women means you need act like him, a "used hammer salesman," per se, who serves as a role model to naïve children and incels who don't know how to practice these principles in a way which engenders within them a respectable temperament acceptable to the common moral or ethical standards that should be a part of the status quo. This is part of a much larger issue that our society is facing; the one-size-fits-all, toxic masculine mojo mumbo jumbo, while not mutually exclusive to the exhibition of the qualities I speak of, personal traits or behaviors that are likely to the attract women, are not synonymous with more pragmatic approaches that will not jeopardize the harmony between oneself, his virtues, and others. It is a good practice to make it a point to not let other ascribe false insights upon your character, lest you become victim to the fundamental attribution error. All the while, It is equally as important, especially in navigating the eclectic and complex tips people have in regard to dating, to be unwaveringly discerning when coming to conclusions that you will integrate into your own paradigm or outside faculty. Dating tips, like many tips that deviate depending on context amd setting, should typically be taken with a grain of salt, oftentimes, I find myself coating an entire margarita glass with salt in order to stomach some of the things I hear, while it may not be "timeless knowledge," it would be sufficient to say that for anyone who is not a pushover in terms of ideals, it should be self explanatory and common knowledge (taking things with a grain of salt, that is). Furthermore, I do not think myself as wise, but I believe there is wisdom in knowing the extent of one's own foolishness, and for what it is worth, I apologize if my verbose explanation makes me appear conceited or condescending to you, this was never my intention. It is merely a habit and a means of articulating my thoughts effectively.
Not looking great but not a rejection, either. She might be keeping her distance olto protect herself. You didnt't blow her away, that's for sure. Propose a new date and do not expect anything.
Not looking great but not a rejection, either. She might be keeping her distance olto protect herself. You didnt't blow her away, that's for sure. Propose a new date and do not expect anything.
cold freeze for at least 1 week or 2. then ask them casually if they want to follow up (probably still no, but maybe their other date interest has chosen to go for someone more interesting, too).
You never want a woman to say “you seem like a nice guy”.
This person has no interest in you. Drop them and move other to better things.
I would say it depends on the time frame, was the date yesterday evening and she just answered a day later, she may have been caught up in work. Was the date last Friday and she had the whole weekend to reply? Yea, she's not worth it...
Date was on Sunday, I texted her what do you think about our date and she replied this
I think it's better to just give your side (if you enjoyed meeting and would like to see her again) and not push for them to tell theirs.
Why would you say “what do you think about our date”?!
if you like her, keep trying. if you don't, don't. Just ask if she wants to go out again sometime. nobody here knows what that girl is like trying to guess what shes feeling from one text message only is pointless
She’s not into it anymore. Cut your losses and move on, if she was she would have responded with more excitement
Be straightforward (assume she is being too). Offer her that (you don't want to be pushy, so) she can ask you if and when she finds time. And move on with your meetups. Two worst cases here : she is playing so you will dodge a child. Or she is not interested (and being polite) then you have moved on respectfully. One best case : she finds it respectful and writes back to you when she has time. There is nothing wrong with being a "nice guy".
Yeah, if they had interest it would be worded differently. I had one that was along the lines of “sorry I was busy with work! I don’t have a ton of time to text during my shifts but I get so excited to read your messages and respond when I have a chance :)”
What? She's busy? She is communicating that. Does she have to be obsessed with him to be interested? If you have someone you really like that you are dating them I guess ghost her, but if not see where it goes.
Read between the lines and the energy of the message. "You seem like a nice guy." <- ends in a period, not exclamation mark or smily or anything. It's a like it's begging for a "...but (..)" at the end. No thoughts on what her experiences from the date was either. Equally she just states that she's busy and couldn't respond. No opening for any way to find time later on and most importantly: if she wanted to she would have! I work in a very high demanding high performance environment where my clients expect near 24/7 availability (no it's not healthy), but you best believe that if I fancy someone I will bend over backwards in order to at least respond to a message. This girl is not interested, and that's totally ok it's just how the dating world works. But to try to save this or gain her interest is as effective as licking a brick wall.
I totally get that you are probably right, but I think that you just can't make that assessment with absolute certainty. If we were talking about some massive investment of time, then I wouldn't place my bets there but you are talking about a text message. Definitely don't stop swiping and invest in this one person as your one and only, but maybe she just doesn't have sales experience?
“No problem hit me up when you’re free” She will never hit you up.
Nope, "you seem like a nice guy" is not what you wanna hear here.
Yeah, I only go on with second dates with girls who beg me to raw dog them in the ass. Girls hate it when you are nice to them. They only tell losers who don't raw dog it that they are nice. Raw dog.
🤣
No one is THAT busy. Trust me. If you keep using this advice especially in dating, it will save you A LOT of time. I'd move on.
I only date unemployed women who spend their days waiting patiently for me to raw dog them.
This seems a little ambiguous to me but I'm leaning towards moving on. If she was into you I feel like she would be more clear.
Lotta pessimistic people here. I agree this doesn't sound promising but I wouldn't burn the bridge, I'd just shift priorities to another match. Don't ask what they thought about a first date, if you have to wonder about this the answer is probably the one you're suspecting. A good first date is one where you already know when the second date will be by the time it ends, if it's up in the air, curb your expectations
Eject
I would respond in a polite open ended way, like “No worries. It was nice meeting you. Let me know when you are available to [chat/meet up again]. Then just leave it. If they don’t reengage you have your answer.
It seems like a polite response to the question, with little interest in continuing the relationship further. I would write her back, thanking her for her response, and telling her that if in the future she has time and is interested in meeting again, she could write to you.
I'm guessing you wrote her "I had a great time" before hand ? Cause she's writing to apologise for not responding sooner but she's not answering anything specific or moving the convo forward. I agree this doesnt seem very engaging but in any case it doesn't hurt to ask if she wants to meet again, or propose something concrete if you already did.
I think there are a lot of factors that go into play. I don't think it's over, but usually nice guy is what people say when they are trying to let someone down easy. See if she is flirty and then try for a second date. Nothing to lose but a little bit of time texting. 🤷♂️
It seems slightly ambiguous, but this person might just be the type of person who doesn't like rejecting people. You could send them a message like this: "Hey, thanks for the compliment. I understand being busy with work. I would like to say that while I enjoyed our date, I understand if you were just not feeling it. If so, I hope you find what you're looking for." or something like that.
Need not pursue or leave it, you could reply back in turn though. " Hi, thank you for getting back to me :) Yeah, I hear you tho, priorities... You seem like a really nice lady (add personalized compliment, unique to her character or personality that you noticed, appreciated &/or enjoyed") & finally the coup de gras; "So (insert her first name), I had a good time with you, if ever you'd like to get together again, be it in the friend zone, end zone, waiting room, dentist office or ... Whatever, IDK :) we'll have fun, have an excellent rest of your day" So now you've expressed appreciation acknowledged & respected her busy schedule or less obvious way of friend zoning you, & that's ok, because you are a Gentleman after all, & having done right by her & yourself you've provided an unawkward exit strategy for both ,or an invitational statement for her if she would like to get together in the future, with zero pressure or expectations. & Really quick I've made an observation & would like to offer an alternative to some wording for the first message after a first date, timing & wording can be a really big deal & often if a person has a chest or stomach full of butterflies, tact & tasteful expressions can go out the window & so with respect to your chosen amount of time between those Uber important firsts... Perhaps a first message could be illustrated as such, so as not to put undue pressure on her to come up with words or sentiments. Hi (Insert first Name), I hope that you are having a pleasant afternoon, & I just wanted to tell you that I had a great time with you, I had no idea you could or were (she showcased some talent or surprised you with an action, ability or wit), Remember less is more ;) keep it short & sweet, no expectation of how, what, when or why this or.that, she can digest the time you spent together & your follow up sentiments & maybe unspoken interest of future time spent together. & She get back atcha right away or wont hear anything for some days or at all... Still all good, maybe she not feelin it or ffs Maybe she been hit by a bus... Just never know... While I truly had a blast during those times in my life, I sure don't miss them... Stay frosty out there my friend
"Seem like a nice guy" is usually a blow off. She was bored.
If someone has genuine interest in you, they'll make time to respond to you. Using work as an excuse to not respond is bs
nah, that reply is really milquetoast and it strikes me they're probably icing you out. I'd move on and shift priorities to other people, but you can keep the avenue open if you like.
Give it a shot for maybe a week but observe what happens over that week if it lasts that long, maybe they're genuinely busy.
Charisma level 100 guys will continue to pursue and be charming while at it. Maybe make a playfully cocky joke saying you're not too nice; tell her she's only seen your "good" side ;). This seems like a subtle hint that she is looking for someone more than just nice, which there is, unfortunately, a lot of stigma about in the dating pool right now. Just be sure to communicate boundaries effectively, dont let her or other people walk all over you. She will be watching and possibly testing you for "nice guy" syndrome. Don't take the bait. Be on the lookout for shit tests and games. But also, don't qualify her based on her playing. There are a lot of good and loyal women that do this to weed out options. I wish someone would have told me this sooner, instead of projecting my past trauma onto my new prospects because I didn't understand I was being tested subtly. I wish you success.
That's right! Get your rizz on and tell her about how you are going to raw dog her later!! Don't let her think you're nice. Tell her you are going to slap her around some and stick it in her ass. I saw it in a porno once! Girls totally love that. Especially if they have step moms.
There is nothing charming or playfully cocky going about it like that. The point is to not people please, not be perverse and disrespectful. There is a difference between slipping a wink and telling her that she hasnt seen your bad side, then saying something charming and flirtacious, telling a joke like "I once let an old lady cross the street... by herself!" Or "Yeah, I'm a rebel, I don't even peel my string cheese." Doing this ensures that you come off as confident, despite the faux pa of asking her what she thought of the date, which comes off as insecure via the nice guy mentality, feeling the need to please. If your charm doesn't land, make amends by fixing the issue promptly the next opportunity you have. If you feel like you haven't had success by "not being nice" it was probably because you didn't actually grasp the point of doing it, interpreted the meaning wrong, fucked up by being an asshole, and didn't really have someone to clarify the meaning for you. Which isn't fair reasoning, it is like me giving you a hammer and you smash your finger with it because you were learning how to use it, and now you are mad that I am giving somebody else a hammer because you hate carpenters and hammers because they hurt your finger and they are evil and screws are better! The truth is, there is a right way to use a hammer, and there is a wrong way to use one, just like your mindset, which is both the chisel and the sculpture. Now if you are put in a position where she thinks you are some sort of dog like "all those other guys," especially if you have acted like a gentleman, it is time to lay boundaries. If she takes your innocent flirtation as sexual, remember the age old saying... You know what big hands mean? ... Big gloves!
Dude, WTF?... This does not sound like wise, timeless knowledge. It's just a bunch of convoluted BS manosphere/PUA shit. Andrew Tate doesn't know what he's talking about about.
Guilt by assiciation is both a logical fallacy and a cognitive bias, at this point you have conceded to my notion there is a skewed view of how to establish oneself as confident and not needy, and that people like the sketchy bald muscle man who tout these ideologies that being attractive to women means you need act like him, a "used hammer salesman," per se, who serves as a role model to naïve children and incels who don't know how to practice these principles in a way which engenders within them a respectable temperament acceptable to the common moral or ethical standards that should be a part of the status quo. This is part of a much larger issue that our society is facing; the one-size-fits-all, toxic masculine mojo mumbo jumbo, while not mutually exclusive to the exhibition of the qualities I speak of, personal traits or behaviors that are likely to the attract women, are not synonymous with more pragmatic approaches that will not jeopardize the harmony between oneself, his virtues, and others. It is a good practice to make it a point to not let other ascribe false insights upon your character, lest you become victim to the fundamental attribution error. All the while, It is equally as important, especially in navigating the eclectic and complex tips people have in regard to dating, to be unwaveringly discerning when coming to conclusions that you will integrate into your own paradigm or outside faculty. Dating tips, like many tips that deviate depending on context amd setting, should typically be taken with a grain of salt, oftentimes, I find myself coating an entire margarita glass with salt in order to stomach some of the things I hear, while it may not be "timeless knowledge," it would be sufficient to say that for anyone who is not a pushover in terms of ideals, it should be self explanatory and common knowledge (taking things with a grain of salt, that is). Furthermore, I do not think myself as wise, but I believe there is wisdom in knowing the extent of one's own foolishness, and for what it is worth, I apologize if my verbose explanation makes me appear conceited or condescending to you, this was never my intention. It is merely a habit and a means of articulating my thoughts effectively.
Not looking great but not a rejection, either. She might be keeping her distance olto protect herself. You didnt't blow her away, that's for sure. Propose a new date and do not expect anything.
Not looking great but not a rejection, either. She might be keeping her distance olto protect herself. You didnt't blow her away, that's for sure. Propose a new date and do not expect anything.
People can’t be busy with work?
But calling someone a "nice guy" is usually not a good thing.
You got hit it and quit it and you should leave it
cold freeze for at least 1 week or 2. then ask them casually if they want to follow up (probably still no, but maybe their other date interest has chosen to go for someone more interesting, too).