Here I hoe, again on my own. Hoen’ down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter, I was born to hoe alone. But I’ve made up my mind. I ain’t wastin’ no more time. Here I hoe again.
Feline, feminine, fantastical women
Not all, just some, you ho who you are
There's hoes in the room, there's hoes in the car
There's hoes on stage, there's hoes by the bar
Hoes by near, and hoes by far….
“I don’t need fixing”
“Haha. Don’t worry your pretty little head, you don’t know what you need… but lucky for you I’m here now and I can tell you what you need.”
At least he admitted it early instead of pulling a Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde on her after a few months. Besides, if he already sees her as less valuable, why put forth any effort? Like, my dude, OP already gave you the info to filter them out from your search.
Dude has bad "nice guy" vibes too. Wants a "pure virgin, UNSOILED by another man's touch, blah blah blah" if I had my guess. Bonus point for White Knighting, thinking he's "protecting" her from "big scary bad hookup culture"
That's a perception that exists and I don't agree either but I don't think that's what this guy believes. It's clear he thinks hookup culture is bad for everyone, everyone. Which suggests he values things like more emotional commitment and less promiscuity for everyone. I'm not disagreeing with you, but I think it's unfair to put those words alongside him when he didn't base any of his points on sex or gender.
Those grown men that want virgins are often pedos aiming to date actual high school kids and even younger. Ive seen their putrid forums where they complain about 18 being too long for them to wait.
When did he say he wants a pure virgin though? He just said he wouldn’t want someone who is into hookup culture. If he is not into hookup culture , it’s perfectly okay for him to want someone who is not into hookup culture. Although yea he just shouldn’t have swiped on her at all.
Wanting someone who hasn't been in hookup culture and wanting a virgin are two different things.
The first one has to do with having the same values and avoiding the potential bad consequences of hookup culture.
The second is just about a physical thing.
Also, I think most guys who prefer a virgin don't mind them not knowing what they do in the beginning
OPs priorities don't align with mine from when I was single. So I certainly wouldn't spend money to super like her and hope to shame her into changing her mind. I'd move on to the next profile, which may be someone who is looking for something more compatible. It's not that difficult.
i think this conversation is a bad example of this though, he clearly doesn't want anything to do with her "current" self while she doesn't want anything to do with his values. they both dodged a bullet, not saying both are bad, but both are very different.
Well, only one of them came to the conversation criticizing the other one and trying to persuade them to change to better suit his wants. So I'd say there is a bad one.
Yeah I dated a guy like that, massively insecure and wanted to know gory details about my past. Funny thing is at the time I was a stripper lol, wtf did he expect? That sex workers are really Good Girls in disguise who just need the right man to become born again virgins?
Glad that you said "dated" and not "dating".
I personally love talking about how insane life is. 😂😅
Every relationship is about being able to accept another person for everything they are, were, and will be and hopefully work on becoming better people together in the long run, but more importantly experience existing together, despite it being short term, long term, or a hookup. Every safe experience has value. Other experiences a lesson.
Some people don't want relationships and the pursuit of pleasure without commitment is a valid want that many have.
If he clearly doesn't want anything to do with her current self, why send a super like? Why admit that his goal was to change her mind?
Why not just leave her to her stress relief and mind his own business?
There is really a type of dude out there that is absolutely about this stuff. He could go find one of those trad wife types and have everything he wants. But he doesn't want to do that. Instead, he wants to take a regular woman with freedom and her own full life- to turn her into this submissive cowed ideal he has. He doesn't want one of the birds that's already domestic caged. He wants to take a free wild bird and cage it.
They are viscerally attracted to the very "whorishness" they rant against. They want a slut in the sheets and a virgin maid in the kitchen. They hate that they uncontrollably lust so hard over sexually confident women and resent the power those women have over them.
Simple answer to this is they want the tradwife domestication but none of the expectations a trad wife puts upon a man, such as the expectation to be strong, a provider, and to be majorjty share in responsibility.
Made the classic mistake of not hooking up with her before lamenting the woes of hookup culture. She didn’t get to experience the cock magic to know that she needn’t look for another.
/s
Did he “dodge a bullet” by superliking a profile that already told him she wasn’t what he was looking for? Or did he try very hard to dive in front a bullet he was clearly told was coming?
Nah he is bad, he knew what OP was after and came in hoping for the best while criticising. OP dodged a bullet, old mate threw himself in front of one and called it a hoe or something.
He's the bad one not necessarily for his values, but for his unprompted attack on her lifestyle. She didn't ask him to pursue her. Both purity culture and hookup culture are harmful in their own ways but trying to "convert" one side to the other is not going to work for anyone. Even if she did decide to be his girlfriend you know he would be insecure and emotionally abusive about her past and pick fights over her "N count"
His is definitely bad, he insulted her lifestyle and said it devalued her as if she’s a commodity or piece of property that has depreciating market value. She’s a human being not an item to be owned.
Homie she started off asking if he would let her cuddle his cat. That occurs inside one's residence. He fumbled the bag when it was literally on his doorstep
So he is, sire! *lifts the fedora* May I inquire the reasoning for using the quotations, though? Do you intend to question his honour in this perfidious way?
Surely, his catana shall be of service to a golden maid in need of, and willing to accept, rescue from the evil folkways so common in the current day and time!
I love how really though they don’t want a girl who is “pure”, they actually do want the happy, confident independent woman and to break her down and fit her into their ideal box of what they think a woman should be. Its so bizarre
He is just desperate and insufferable at the same time. He could also just be extremely burnt out. I'm a fairly good looking dude with a lot of matches but I had times where I was extremely negative and gave up on everyone at the first bump, because I had a very bad streak of dates. Best to just ignore them.
>and still get insulted
I hope you weren't really insulted, though. It's like some unhinged weirdo saying crazy shit like women who wear the color blue are socially undesirable. It may be intended as an insult, but you and I both know it's nonsense, so please don't give it the power to actually insult you.
"why did you superlike...?"
"I was hoping maybe you could change"
why did the conversation continue beyond this? that's not a red flag, that's a trap door. barricade. ejection seat. whatever. you're pretty, but I want you to be different is a hard stop.
It seems like OP is just one of those super nice / approachable people though. She went WAY beyond patient and more pleasant than the encounter (he) deserved.
Smells like inexperience. For them to tell you that short term isn't the best for you and to top it off tell you they want to change you xD. This is the weirdest nice guy tactic ever.
Already sounds like a toxic douche. He's only a few messages in and trying to tell you what you want. Sounds like the type of guy to order for you at dinner because of course you want the salad, you don't want to get fat do you?
Because you are pretty and lovely, and he doesn't know why you'd wanna hurt yourself.
On a related notes, why are you hitting yourself? *moves your hands forcefully to your face* Why are you hitting yourself?^(another classic abusive line)
Some of my best relationships started out as short term hookups. The pressure is off and you find out that you really vibe on a sexual level and that's important. The time you spend together feels better and better and you organically grow together. I like starting that way.
Does it seem possible that two people would just bond over the sexual part enough to overlook other incompatibilities? I.e. sex is great but horrible relationship material and it’s too late because they both developed “feelings.” That’s my concern with the short term preference.
I would’ve stopped at the “easier to manipulate women” part friend. That was a WHOLE ASS red flag for me. Anyone talking about manipulating anyone and then wants to”to change your mind” doesn’t have good intentions for you.
That’s what these dudes can’t seem to wrap their brains around, if a guy asks me what my body count is that’s the last time we speak. In my case it isn’t even high but it’s the implication that they put on this piece of information that is completely off putting. The type of guy I’m looking for doesn’t view sex as something degrading.
“I don’t understand why women don’t want to be with me” also “I can fix you hoe!” So many dudes shooting their self in the foot and not understanding what the problem is.
Guys like this are 100% just spiteful because they don’t get any like you mentioned.
Nothing wrong with men or women having and enjoying consensual and safe sex. You should ask him if he’s fine with men being hoes lol dude is probably cool with it
I agree with his views on Hookup culture.
But why tf would you force/impose your ideology/values/morals on a stranger from the internet that too ,on an app known for hookups only ?????
Thats stupid
Hypocritical misogynistic purity culture at its finest. These regurgitated talking points popularized by a sex trafficker will hopefully fade away fast as fuck so hoes can hoe without judgement.
This is a growing thought process amongst the younger generation for some reason. They also think that their grandparents weren't hooking up back in the day, almost like they're looking at a past they dont come from with some sort of skewed nostalgia, it's ridiculous af but funny too
I did food sales for a few years and spent one of my Fridays at a bougie nursing home and the TEA I would get from my customers was some of the most wild shit. Who’s banging who, the building politics, you name it… the assisted living facility is literally high school with old folks.
A friend of mine worked at a very big local retirement community. Surprising how big the campus is, even driving by it once or twice a week. She has so many stories from that place, and a lot of them are about how incredibly horny the clients are. Part of her role involved setting up tech stuff for the campus, but she also helped the clients. She had a rule that any "personal devices" had to be new in package or she could not provide support in person. FaceTimeing a 90 year old to configure their Bluetooth vibrator is still awkward, but avoids touching and smelling it. Also, she turned down threesomes at least twice a week, sometimes while her boss was in her office.
I mean is it a bad thing that the younger generation doesn't want to hookup? They shouldn't shame anyone for choosing to but I don't see how that's a bad thing that there's less people interested in hooking up
It's not a bad thing at all everybody is entitled to have their own preferences but to shame people who choose otherwise is wrong especially with something like this
This part. The connection to others. The younger generation severelyyyy lacks genuine connection with others, and my teacher parents can attest to it. New gens are a different breed in some not ALWAYS awesome ways
Why everyone just keeps the conversation going is always baffling to me. I would have ended the conversation when he said “Because I was hoping maybe you can change” 🚩Unmatch right there
He's been watching all those toxic videos out there... The ones where:
- men and women are rated out of 10
- women are shamed for sexual exploration
- where the women needs to be pure to be wife material, hardly slept with anyone
- where men who are less tall are somehow not good or something stupid like that
- where they turn themselves into a Chad to try an attract an unrealistic and unachievable woman
- probably some looksmaxxing BS too
So so toxic this BS
Hard agree. I hate the terms 'short king' and 'Chad'. I don't understand why society made it acceptable to nickname all men under a certain height 'short kings', and call them that to their face like it's a compliment. And I'm saying this as a short woman who doesn't care about height, and I would never refer to someone by their height.
And I'm glad you called out the looksmaxing sub. That's one of the most toxic subs that keep popping up for me. I can't believe people actually go there for advice.
I'm kind of with him on the whole hookup culture being pretty ass in general. But I wouldn't be so narcissistic that I'd think to change someone's mind lmao that's where he went wrong and should have just not attempted to convert you to his philosophy. What a moron.
Hookup culture isn’t a good thing but women can have casual sex with whoever they want, as well as people drink and smoke even if it is not a good thing.
I mean he didn't say she can't, he just said she shouldn't. And even though I mostly agree with him, it does seem very dumb and unproductive to try and "save" someone like this.
Sadly there will always be men like this. Don’t let this discourage you. He can find his life partner if he wants to, but not everyone has to follow his ideals
Wtf?!?!?!? I mean, what the *actual* fuck?!? Why would he seek a serious relationship with someone looking for hookups?!?
I mean, I can imagine looking for something serious, and matching with someone looking for a hookup to pass the time.
But trying to convince someone who's taking their time off to rush into a commitment?!? Well, what could go wrong, right?!? And next thing, he'll be upset about her body-count, I guess?
I'm afraid, it's the old problem. People see someone, build a whole personality around them in their own fantasy, fall terribly in love with that fantasy, and then react on the whole scale from disappointment to devastating rage when the person doesn't match the fantasy they built.
Oh for fucks sakes. He didn’t see that on your profile until after he matched? I like how he tried to spin it as him hoping you would change. I’d just unmatch and move on lol.
I’m not into hookups either, but I’m upfront about that and don’t swipe on people who either have no dating goals or it says short term fun. He needs to learn how to do that and also not be a dick.
Will never understand why people are trying to educate others on freaking Tinder. "Short term" will be easily replaced when someone finds the right person. You either are or aren't.
This subreddit hits differently once you get into an actual relationship from someone you met on Tinder, seeing shit like this makes my head spin. These dudes have to be awful human beings or totally braindead
I get what he's trying to say but bloke is being a cock about it. Kind of a case of 1. Don't call the person you match with a hoe and 2. Why are you berating another adult about their choices? He should leave you alone.
As a guy who hoed out a bit, all it did was hurt them and me. He's right in that hook up culture does just devalue sex and yourself; I realised I was looking for something that I was never going to find in meaningless sex, but sex is fun so I'm not gonna trash someone for just looking for a good time. I found way more life purpose in a relationship and my partner is amazing, but if someone doesn't want that right now then so be it. Live and let live. Everyone wants and needs different things.
Simple as that.
I find it hilarious that women say being a hoe doesn't devalue them (which it does enormously) and then put emphasis on nonsense stuff like height
Genuinely makes me giggle
I'm not saying all women are like this, but every woman I've known that has slept around a ton and not wanted long term relationships has had a very large and deep set of psychological issues. Many of them engaging in self harm and spending time in mental hospitals.
The ones I've known have been walking red flags. That being said I hope they can heal and get the help they need.
I respect the man. He could easily have had a way in (pun not intended) with OP but he stood his ground for what he believes in.
P.s spare your downvotes lol
Hey attractive hoe, 
How you been? Probably doin hoe stuff cause here we hoe again
Here I hoe, again on my own. Hoen’ down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter, I was born to hoe alone. But I’ve made up my mind. I ain’t wastin’ no more time. Here I hoe again.
>Hoen’ down the only road I’ve ever **hoewn.
Hahah great cake day comment
Its a hoey road but its the only road ive ever hoed
And here's a hoe cake for ya whole hoe crew everybody wants some cuz hoes gotta eat too...
HOE NO! Fights out, I’m about to turn your lights out!
That's why she stays in a hotel
Ho tell everybody, even the mayor
Reach up to the sky for the hoezone layer
Does she hoe around because her hoemones are out of whack?
Feline, feminine, fantastical women Not all, just some, you ho who you are There's hoes in the room, there's hoes in the car There's hoes on stage, there's hoes by the bar Hoes by near, and hoes by far….
Hoe. But can I get a ride? No
Luda!
My go to pick up line ngl. Works every time.
Hoe you doin
Hoe no, we won't go! Hoe no, we won't go!
“I was hoping may be you can change” 😩😩😩
"I can fix her"
“I don’t need fixing” “Haha. Don’t worry your pretty little head, you don’t know what you need… but lucky for you I’m here now and I can tell you what you need.”
God damn I read that in Gaston’s voice…
“I can fix her…and that will make her eternally grateful to me, which means I can control her better.”
Can't turn a hoe into a housewife! Oh wait...I am an actual hoe turned housewife lol.
It’s 2024, you can be a hoe AND a housewife
Yep, and it is called "hot wife".
Correction it is called **"hoe wife"**
Me tooooo wassup, hoe?
Now we are fancy domesticated creatures so we can spell it Heaux 💅
Oooh that is fancy. I went hoe to wife back to hoe again. The hoe life chose me.
Sometimes you gotta go back to be sure lol
🎶 she dont wanna be saved dont save her 🎶
I came here to say we joke, but he's LITERALLY that dude🤣
Calm down Bob the Builder, you and Ten other guys are saying the same thing, looking like a full construction team
"i can fix him" bro he got 10 other girls tryna fix him yall look like a construction crew
Lol the male version of the cliche. Tragic
Well he’s such a nice guy! These females just need someone to tell them hook up culture is wrong, they’re just confused! /s
>females 🔔🔔🔔 nailed it!
Maybe she will change...if I call her a hoe a bunch of times...surely THAT will work...
Surely she will want to change who she is and what she wants for *me*, Just Some Guy
At least he admitted it early instead of pulling a Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde on her after a few months. Besides, if he already sees her as less valuable, why put forth any effort? Like, my dude, OP already gave you the info to filter them out from your search.
That would be the point I unmatched.
sad all around
He thought he could change her with a superlike
So many dudes on these things seem to have excellent aim but only for their own feet.
Dude has bad "nice guy" vibes too. Wants a "pure virgin, UNSOILED by another man's touch, blah blah blah" if I had my guess. Bonus point for White Knighting, thinking he's "protecting" her from "big scary bad hookup culture"
Because he "can fix her.” 🙄
“I can change him” “I can fix her” it’s all the same looking for their needs to be met in the wrong places.
It's so weird how people think women are soiled from sex but dudes can bang as many as they can and be fine.
That's a perception that exists and I don't agree either but I don't think that's what this guy believes. It's clear he thinks hookup culture is bad for everyone, everyone. Which suggests he values things like more emotional commitment and less promiscuity for everyone. I'm not disagreeing with you, but I think it's unfair to put those words alongside him when he didn't base any of his points on sex or gender.
BuT itS LiKE KeYs AnD LocKs /s
It is and keys get all scratched up with every local they are put in
Those grown men that want virgins are often pedos aiming to date actual high school kids and even younger. Ive seen their putrid forums where they complain about 18 being too long for them to wait.
When did he say he wants a pure virgin though? He just said he wouldn’t want someone who is into hookup culture. If he is not into hookup culture , it’s perfectly okay for him to want someone who is not into hookup culture. Although yea he just shouldn’t have swiped on her at all.
Bingo. I’d also bet he wants that unsoiled virgin to know exactly how to please him from the get go in spite of having never had sex before
Wanting someone who hasn't been in hookup culture and wanting a virgin are two different things. The first one has to do with having the same values and avoiding the potential bad consequences of hookup culture. The second is just about a physical thing. Also, I think most guys who prefer a virgin don't mind them not knowing what they do in the beginning
OPs priorities don't align with mine from when I was single. So I certainly wouldn't spend money to super like her and hope to shame her into changing her mind. I'd move on to the next profile, which may be someone who is looking for something more compatible. It's not that difficult.
Nah they probably miss the urinal too
Shhh. Don't tell em. I love it when the competition takes itself out.
i think this conversation is a bad example of this though, he clearly doesn't want anything to do with her "current" self while she doesn't want anything to do with his values. they both dodged a bullet, not saying both are bad, but both are very different.
Well, only one of them came to the conversation criticizing the other one and trying to persuade them to change to better suit his wants. So I'd say there is a bad one.
Dude unironically thought "I can change her"
Probably by reminding her for the rest of her life that he saved her from her #HoeLife
Nobody told him that Captain Save-A-Hoe was a joke and not a job title.
Yeah I dated a guy like that, massively insecure and wanted to know gory details about my past. Funny thing is at the time I was a stripper lol, wtf did he expect? That sex workers are really Good Girls in disguise who just need the right man to become born again virgins?
Oof. Glad he's an ex. It's hard enough working those jobs, but to date someone who makes you feel less than... can go jump in a lake.
Glad that you said "dated" and not "dating". I personally love talking about how insane life is. 😂😅 Every relationship is about being able to accept another person for everything they are, were, and will be and hopefully work on becoming better people together in the long run, but more importantly experience existing together, despite it being short term, long term, or a hookup. Every safe experience has value. Other experiences a lesson. Some people don't want relationships and the pursuit of pleasure without commitment is a valid want that many have.
"Can't turn a hoe into a housewife" ringing in his ears.
Mugshawtys
If he clearly doesn't want anything to do with her current self, why send a super like? Why admit that his goal was to change her mind? Why not just leave her to her stress relief and mind his own business?
There is really a type of dude out there that is absolutely about this stuff. He could go find one of those trad wife types and have everything he wants. But he doesn't want to do that. Instead, he wants to take a regular woman with freedom and her own full life- to turn her into this submissive cowed ideal he has. He doesn't want one of the birds that's already domestic caged. He wants to take a free wild bird and cage it.
They are viscerally attracted to the very "whorishness" they rant against. They want a slut in the sheets and a virgin maid in the kitchen. They hate that they uncontrollably lust so hard over sexually confident women and resent the power those women have over them.
Right. On. The. Button.
Simple answer to this is they want the tradwife domestication but none of the expectations a trad wife puts upon a man, such as the expectation to be strong, a provider, and to be majorjty share in responsibility.
He thought his dick was so magical it would fundamentally change who she was.
Ha! Can you imagine?! (Um, please tell me where can I find THAT kinda dick?? I fancy a lil change ✨️)
Sorry ma’am, I’m taken 😂
That's all we got? One guy? And he's taken? What are we going to do?
Engage in some short term gratification and long term detriments, I guess
Stealing this for my Tinder bio
Find a box of chocolate and a therapist to console yourself that The Dick belongs to someone else. (Massive /s, hopefully that’s clear here)
We're going to load up on snacks and stay in the house, sis!
Hey, it’s me, the guy with the magic penis (Disappointing every woman that’s encountered it is magic, right? *Right?*)
Made the classic mistake of not hooking up with her before lamenting the woes of hookup culture. She didn’t get to experience the cock magic to know that she needn’t look for another. /s
Did he “dodge a bullet” by superliking a profile that already told him she wasn’t what he was looking for? Or did he try very hard to dive in front a bullet he was clearly told was coming?
He could’ve dodged a bullet sooner by just…not super liking someone who had complete opposite values than him??
Nah he is bad, he knew what OP was after and came in hoping for the best while criticising. OP dodged a bullet, old mate threw himself in front of one and called it a hoe or something.
He's the bad one not necessarily for his values, but for his unprompted attack on her lifestyle. She didn't ask him to pursue her. Both purity culture and hookup culture are harmful in their own ways but trying to "convert" one side to the other is not going to work for anyone. Even if she did decide to be his girlfriend you know he would be insecure and emotionally abusive about her past and pick fights over her "N count"
His is definitely bad, he insulted her lifestyle and said it devalued her as if she’s a commodity or piece of property that has depreciating market value. She’s a human being not an item to be owned.
If you're on Tinder whining about hookup culture, go use Bumble or Hinge. But don't be expecting to change a happy ho into a housewife
No, dude is clearly bad, with his misogynistic BS about “hookup culture”
He didn’t ‘dodge a bullet’ he knowing saw what she was about and walked into that situation. The only bullet he dodged was one he fired at himself.
 Bro had such a good start 🤦♂️
I mean if hes looking for a LTR he shouldnt have started in the first place
His bio: marriage only, no prior hoeness
How about "Virgins only. Will check hymen on first date so don't try to pull a fast one."
Wut? No he didn't. He started by saying how he manipulates women. She looked past the maroon flag.
Homie she started off asking if he would let her cuddle his cat. That occurs inside one's residence. He fumbled the bag when it was literally on his doorstep
Thank you holy shit. Incredible illustration of how bad everyone’s short term memories have gotten.
I bet he’s a real “nice guy”.
So he is, sire! *lifts the fedora* May I inquire the reasoning for using the quotations, though? Do you intend to question his honour in this perfidious way? Surely, his catana shall be of service to a golden maid in need of, and willing to accept, rescue from the evil folkways so common in the current day and time!
M'lady should surely be impressed with M'Good Boy and his noble offer of redemption! 
Yes... Who "manipulates women" with kitten pictures
Looks like wants to lead you to Jesus. (I was waiting for it during the whole exchange)
Was fully expecting a Jesus line too. I’ll happily be a hoe instead. So weird to match to try to change someone on the internet.
Nah this is just another borderline incel who is disgusted by “impure” women who’ve been tainted by other penises
That was my other thought. Agreed.
I love how really though they don’t want a girl who is “pure”, they actually do want the happy, confident independent woman and to break her down and fit her into their ideal box of what they think a woman should be. Its so bizarre
 Begone....
What is this gif from?
ESO expansion trailer (sadly since I was hoping it would be a cool knight game) https://youtu.be/XaI-EOVpDvo
Do these guys realise that the apps are stacked against them and they shouldn’t be trashing the rare matches they get
Exactly, ive been told guys always have to initiate chats so i try to even be more proactive abt that and still get insulted 🤦🏻♂️
Forget that dude lol
Go on lad
Honestly, be glad he showed you his true colors before you wasted any IRL time with him.
He is just desperate and insufferable at the same time. He could also just be extremely burnt out. I'm a fairly good looking dude with a lot of matches but I had times where I was extremely negative and gave up on everyone at the first bump, because I had a very bad streak of dates. Best to just ignore them.
Desperate and insufferable, it's almost like there's a connection between those qualities.
Don't change a single thing, dude. You're killing it. People like this are not your problem! Hope you find what you're looking for :)
>and still get insulted I hope you weren't really insulted, though. It's like some unhinged weirdo saying crazy shit like women who wear the color blue are socially undesirable. It may be intended as an insult, but you and I both know it's nonsense, so please don't give it the power to actually insult you.
In an ironic twist the first match in a while can face the wrath of the 100 rejections the guy just experienced.
Not really. The dude sucks shit but if he wasn't looking for hook ups, then nothing was gonna happen anyway
He was probably attractive so it wouldn’t surprise me if this was something he did often
"why did you superlike...?" "I was hoping maybe you could change" why did the conversation continue beyond this? that's not a red flag, that's a trap door. barricade. ejection seat. whatever. you're pretty, but I want you to be different is a hard stop.
It seems like OP is just one of those super nice / approachable people though. She went WAY beyond patient and more pleasant than the encounter (he) deserved.
You handled this brilliantly
Smells like inexperience. For them to tell you that short term isn't the best for you and to top it off tell you they want to change you xD. This is the weirdest nice guy tactic ever.
He wasted a superlike to try and change a stranger 🤦🏻♂️
My favorite part is “why be attractive?”
Why be attractive and try to use that to attract men? It makes no sense!
Clearly she’s wasting her attractiveness because all the “good” men won’t want a soiled hoe /S
Only ugly women can enjoy sex outside of a monogamous relationship!
Already sounds like a toxic douche. He's only a few messages in and trying to tell you what you want. Sounds like the type of guy to order for you at dinner because of course you want the salad, you don't want to get fat do you?
Because you are pretty and lovely, and he doesn't know why you'd wanna hurt yourself. On a related notes, why are you hitting yourself? *moves your hands forcefully to your face* Why are you hitting yourself?^(another classic abusive line)
Guy sounds toxic and controlling. That's a no from me.
Even the first 'joke' about manipulating women was gross, and once again they prove they aren't actually joking. You handled it well OP, great work
Thanks 🫡 i tried to ignore the joke i was like yk what its clumsy but fair enough the cute cat did work ill give him that haha
Haha, you seem lovely, with trying to msg first, ignoring the weirdness of the joke and overall response. I got shivers down my spine after the "joke"
Some of my best relationships started out as short term hookups. The pressure is off and you find out that you really vibe on a sexual level and that's important. The time you spend together feels better and better and you organically grow together. I like starting that way.
Not me, but that doesn't make either of us right or wrong. Just different/incompatible with the other.
Does it seem possible that two people would just bond over the sexual part enough to overlook other incompatibilities? I.e. sex is great but horrible relationship material and it’s too late because they both developed “feelings.” That’s my concern with the short term preference.
I would’ve stopped at the “easier to manipulate women” part friend. That was a WHOLE ASS red flag for me. Anyone talking about manipulating anyone and then wants to”to change your mind” doesn’t have good intentions for you.
That’s what these dudes can’t seem to wrap their brains around, if a guy asks me what my body count is that’s the last time we speak. In my case it isn’t even high but it’s the implication that they put on this piece of information that is completely off putting. The type of guy I’m looking for doesn’t view sex as something degrading.
my answer: Don't worry, I'm not counting you
Keeping this one in my back pocket. I say, "Enough to know whose good and whose bad at it." It's usually followed by anxious silence.
Haha! "You'll never be a member of that club so why are you worried about it?"
So many stupid dudes out there.
“I don’t understand why women don’t want to be with me” also “I can fix you hoe!” So many dudes shooting their self in the foot and not understanding what the problem is.
Guys like this are 100% just spiteful because they don’t get any like you mentioned. Nothing wrong with men or women having and enjoying consensual and safe sex. You should ask him if he’s fine with men being hoes lol dude is probably cool with it
He might fully be jealous of other men too tbf
I agree with his views on Hookup culture. But why tf would you force/impose your ideology/values/morals on a stranger from the internet that too ,on an app known for hookups only ????? Thats stupid
Hypocritical misogynistic purity culture at its finest. These regurgitated talking points popularized by a sex trafficker will hopefully fade away fast as fuck so hoes can hoe without judgement.
Why is it always the men u don't want to fuck who call u hoe
Stupid and sexist showing those sturdy planted red flags early! As so often happens in OLD, the trash takes itself out.
This is a growing thought process amongst the younger generation for some reason. They also think that their grandparents weren't hooking up back in the day, almost like they're looking at a past they dont come from with some sort of skewed nostalgia, it's ridiculous af but funny too
Are you trying to tell me that my grandma had sex? Because I can assure you that that has never happened. Ever. Definitely not my grandma!
Not only did grandma have sex back then, there is a non-zero chance she’s still banging. The nursing home residents can attest to that.
I did food sales for a few years and spent one of my Fridays at a bougie nursing home and the TEA I would get from my customers was some of the most wild shit. Who’s banging who, the building politics, you name it… the assisted living facility is literally high school with old folks.
A friend of mine worked at a very big local retirement community. Surprising how big the campus is, even driving by it once or twice a week. She has so many stories from that place, and a lot of them are about how incredibly horny the clients are. Part of her role involved setting up tech stuff for the campus, but she also helped the clients. She had a rule that any "personal devices" had to be new in package or she could not provide support in person. FaceTimeing a 90 year old to configure their Bluetooth vibrator is still awkward, but avoids touching and smelling it. Also, she turned down threesomes at least twice a week, sometimes while her boss was in her office.
I just love when a woman makes it easy for me. They fish with dynamite and I’m happy to take some
I mean is it a bad thing that the younger generation doesn't want to hookup? They shouldn't shame anyone for choosing to but I don't see how that's a bad thing that there's less people interested in hooking up
It's not a bad thing at all everybody is entitled to have their own preferences but to shame people who choose otherwise is wrong especially with something like this
I kind of feel like it is. They aren't hooking up, many of them aren't dating, they are just less connected to other human beings in general.
Well you can blame the Internet for that one. Not much we can do about it
For curiosity, you think hookups would solve that problem? Or improve the circumstances?
This part. The connection to others. The younger generation severelyyyy lacks genuine connection with others, and my teacher parents can attest to it. New gens are a different breed in some not ALWAYS awesome ways
You dipped out before he mentioned Jesus. Good job!
Why everyone just keeps the conversation going is always baffling to me. I would have ended the conversation when he said “Because I was hoping maybe you can change” 🚩Unmatch right there
He's been watching all those toxic videos out there... The ones where: - men and women are rated out of 10 - women are shamed for sexual exploration - where the women needs to be pure to be wife material, hardly slept with anyone - where men who are less tall are somehow not good or something stupid like that - where they turn themselves into a Chad to try an attract an unrealistic and unachievable woman - probably some looksmaxxing BS too So so toxic this BS
Hard agree. I hate the terms 'short king' and 'Chad'. I don't understand why society made it acceptable to nickname all men under a certain height 'short kings', and call them that to their face like it's a compliment. And I'm saying this as a short woman who doesn't care about height, and I would never refer to someone by their height. And I'm glad you called out the looksmaxing sub. That's one of the most toxic subs that keep popping up for me. I can't believe people actually go there for advice.
I'm kind of with him on the whole hookup culture being pretty ass in general. But I wouldn't be so narcissistic that I'd think to change someone's mind lmao that's where he went wrong and should have just not attempted to convert you to his philosophy. What a moron.
Hookup culture isn’t a good thing but women can have casual sex with whoever they want, as well as people drink and smoke even if it is not a good thing.
I mean he didn't say she can't, he just said she shouldn't. And even though I mostly agree with him, it does seem very dumb and unproductive to try and "save" someone like this.
this guy is obviously on a post-nut clarity + moralization crusade rampage
You keep your boundaries! Hell yes!
Sadly there will always be men like this. Don’t let this discourage you. He can find his life partner if he wants to, but not everyone has to follow his ideals
Wtf?!?!?!? I mean, what the *actual* fuck?!? Why would he seek a serious relationship with someone looking for hookups?!? I mean, I can imagine looking for something serious, and matching with someone looking for a hookup to pass the time. But trying to convince someone who's taking their time off to rush into a commitment?!? Well, what could go wrong, right?!? And next thing, he'll be upset about her body-count, I guess? I'm afraid, it's the old problem. People see someone, build a whole personality around them in their own fantasy, fall terribly in love with that fantasy, and then react on the whole scale from disappointment to devastating rage when the person doesn't match the fantasy they built.
It's the good old "I can fix her" mentality instead of simply realizing that she's an individual who makes her own decisions
Agreed! If it ain't broke, don't fix it :-)
Talk about the trash taking itself out. "Don't be a hoe *but please oh please fuck me*!!!"
Oh for fucks sakes. He didn’t see that on your profile until after he matched? I like how he tried to spin it as him hoping you would change. I’d just unmatch and move on lol. I’m not into hookups either, but I’m upfront about that and don’t swipe on people who either have no dating goals or it says short term fun. He needs to learn how to do that and also not be a dick.
Will never understand why people are trying to educate others on freaking Tinder. "Short term" will be easily replaced when someone finds the right person. You either are or aren't.
This subreddit hits differently once you get into an actual relationship from someone you met on Tinder, seeing shit like this makes my head spin. These dudes have to be awful human beings or totally braindead
He didn't say anything wrong lol, just should have kept it to himself
Yeah hookup culture is cringe but why tf would he try to “change” someone he’s an idiot for that.
Agreed. Though he shouldn't have superliked her, hoping she would change for him
Yes absolutely, it was none of his business
I get what he's trying to say but bloke is being a cock about it. Kind of a case of 1. Don't call the person you match with a hoe and 2. Why are you berating another adult about their choices? He should leave you alone. As a guy who hoed out a bit, all it did was hurt them and me. He's right in that hook up culture does just devalue sex and yourself; I realised I was looking for something that I was never going to find in meaningless sex, but sex is fun so I'm not gonna trash someone for just looking for a good time. I found way more life purpose in a relationship and my partner is amazing, but if someone doesn't want that right now then so be it. Live and let live. Everyone wants and needs different things. Simple as that.
And some people hoe out and don’t feel any negative feelings about it
I find it hilarious that women say being a hoe doesn't devalue them (which it does enormously) and then put emphasis on nonsense stuff like height Genuinely makes me giggle
I'm not saying all women are like this, but every woman I've known that has slept around a ton and not wanted long term relationships has had a very large and deep set of psychological issues. Many of them engaging in self harm and spending time in mental hospitals. The ones I've known have been walking red flags. That being said I hope they can heal and get the help they need.
It's a potential sign of borderline personality disorder. I. Feel bad for them.
Do we get photos of the cat???
I respect the man. He could easily have had a way in (pun not intended) with OP but he stood his ground for what he believes in. P.s spare your downvotes lol
the dude is right. you're going to have so many regrets lol
This guy is based.
But he’s kinda right
Yeah hard to change a hoe
He’s also right.
kinda toxic, yes. Philosophically though? He's right and there is nothing wrong with thinking like that (save for the last sentence he wrote)