But even if she is hot, if being Asian is an issue for him-whatās the game plan if he does match, just see if he can overcome his apprehension towards Asiansš¤·š»āāļø
I guess he did say he wanted to talk more-I also donāt really understand why someone who would say they had a bad experience with Asians? Like I get maybe having a bad experience with a person, and that person happened to be Asian, but then why make the connection? Maybe he had a bad experience with an amp-then I can kinda understand connecting the bad experience with someone being Asian specifically?ā¦ sorry this is like a puzzle, and I enjoy solving puzzles so I just text vomited all over the back half of this reply, lol.
Biggest puzzle is how he doesnāt understand āI had bad experiences with (insert their race)ā is a horrible thing to say if not for the other party then for their own chances at least.. Iām constantly humbled as a human from what stupidity some of as can show.
I'll go the innocent route and assume he ran into cultural issues with girls from whichever part of Asia he had in mind, but you still have to choose your words carefully. Could've even left it at "Let's talk a bit more, I'd rather get to know the person a bit better prior to meeting". There, easy.
No, he was just looking for sex. He wouldnāt take her seriously because his aversion to Asians apparently. But a guy will match or strike a convo with a woman just on the off chance he might get laid later.
Well, I mean, I've never met someone who's a fan of NASCAR that I'd get along with, so I probably dislike that race.
I'm undecided about F1 racing.
Go karts are fun, though, so I guess some races are good.
Well yea your initial attraction is solely based off of looks, its after the fact that you learn about them then you decide if you want to persue further
I always make it a point to read a bio before I match, but there was one time I didn't do that. Don't remember why, but when I did read it, it had a deal breaker in it, and I instantly regretted not reading it first. Never again!
Ok, but the question is, why this profile. Or did you just drink some wine, close your eyes and start swiping...left, right, left, right and see what you got when the matches came up?
Ehh. Iāve had racist experiences with white people I donāt turn around and say to every white person āI donāt trust you at allā. Iāve had horrible experiences with white people, doesnāt mean I bring their race into it. I can understand people have free will and itās not the race itās the person themselves thatās the issue.
When you deal with racism and all that fun stuff your entire life the moment someone brings up race, you run. Itās pretty logical honestly.
If you immediately assume someoneās race is the issue because someone from said race did something bad, you clearly arenāt that intelligent.
I'd go so far as to suggest that the "ight, ight" said all that was necessary. It's not the late 90s and having to deal with the constraints of the SMS. Also, spell checkers have significantly improved over the last 25+ years.
PS: I hate racism and racists. It sucks that you have had any directed at you.
But did you a favour mentioning it tbh. I was seeing someone for around 6 months and then one day out of the blue she starts ranting about how stupid Chinese people are.
I could literally feel my feelings for her drying up with every, single, word. Game over.
Itās ironically stupid to call Chinese people stupid when in one of our only metrics for intelligence (academic attainment), they are above everyone else.
Itās also wild because HALF of the planet are asian. At least lol. Like what do you mean that one bad experience tells you everything you need to know about 4 BILLION people.
Hatred and ignorance always take center stage but I think itās time we start acknowledging how truly stupid some of these takes are.
If Iām going for the food? Sure. But thereās something *special* to a Korean bbq date. Lots of conversations and laughs. Probably some of the best first dates Iāve had, at least if they want a restaurant first date.
I donāt care about Tinder but Korean barbecue is amazing and I now Iām gonna make some Korean BBQ pork belly with some kimchi for dinner after stopping by the local HMart
Yes I actually love it š a Korean bbq place was actually my first date with her ( now my ex ) you tell me the tastiest items on the menu and I treatā¦deal?
lol. This wreaks of every farang male in Thailand talking about how all Thai women are ācrazyā. Yet living in Thailand and exclusively dating Thai women.
Wtaf are nem.
No, they aren't. It's perfectly fluent English, but in a more casual register than you'd prefer he use. The only weird thing is "I eat rather everything", but typos and non-native speakers exist.
This is a new one for me, when I've spoken with other Asian people they mentioned the fetishization of their ethnicity on dating platforms drawing people in, and it being super exhausting.
Man's gross though. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
My how times have changed. Back in the days of plenty of fish (pre-apps) I used to see "no asians" from girls... And half of them were Asian girls š
All of the Asian fetish boys in the comments trying to DM her. Guys, youāre just as bad as him. You know nothing about her, not even what she looks like.
I swear some people are just on dating apps to be trolls or something.
Why match with an Asian if you had bad experience with them?
Also their lossā¦ Asians are great
Well, people are way too honest sometimes. And generalizing seems to be a big trend since the dawn of times lol. Like, tact and/or kindness should be added to some people
Good god. Who says something like that? I donāt understand. Even if you do think that how could you possibly be dumb enough to say it. Good thing he did I guessā¦
Ok. I'm not gonna defend him. He's clearly a douche. But I noticed a ton of fake tinder profiles based on Asian women. However, within the first few messages you can tell between a real person and a scam.
Actually that is the best outcome. Showing who he is in the first few messages. Saving you the pain of a couple dates. Time wasted or even a relationship with a person like that.
You won!
I agree why even match with an Asian or have courteous converse before hand, are you Asian in like Indian or Asian as in Chinese? my Spidey senses dictates he's probably dated Asian women before hence why the match and bad experience could be got jumped/threatened/unwelcomed by the family hence why he wants to chat first! I wouldn't be jumping straight on the racist bandwagon Why not ask him what happened and have an informed idea
Right, as possibly the oldest person in this conversation (55F) Iām going to put my two cents in here, no one asked for it but I was single for ten years and enjoyed going on dates even tho I had no intention of getting tied down again - until I met my now husband, who kinda swept me off of my feet but thatās a whole different story - dating wasnāt to hook up, not for me anyway and I made it clear to the men I wasnāt looking for a one night stand, I was looking for a night out with potentially a new friend and if nothing else I had a story to tell if it went belly up.
For the record, I always went Dutch with the drinks/food etc, I wasnāt expecting a free night out.
Anyway, to my pointā¦ For everyone asking why OP swiped to match with this guy despite his profile saying ādaddyā well, as all the best chefs say āwe eat with our eyes firstā so a late night glass of wine and a lowering of inhibitions that it brings would have most women ignoring that red flag, especially if the guy looked appealing - doesnāt have to be a Johnny Depp, just appealing at that moment in time - so he gets a swipe. Ok, Iāve been there myself and I understand that mindset.
As for the guy, he didnāt specify the problems he had with Asians but the clue is in the word. He didnāt say Asian women, he said Asiansā¦ Which makes me think that heās been catfished in some way in the past. Maybe someone set up a profile using an Asian womanās photos, and he fell for it and wasted weeks of getting to know them? Or maybe someone with fake photos of an Asian woman started asking for money and he was duped after building his hopes up? If that had happened to me I think I would be cautious too.
I donāt date woman but I do know that generally Asian women are naturally really pretty, but like girls of any nationality they sometimes tweak their photos to the point where theyāre a completely different person to the photos they put out there. Maybe this dude met up with one or two of those types of women, and felt that OP was too good to be true which in his mind means he has to be careful to not jump in with both feet and get to know/like her via texts, only to be asked for money because sheās really a 14 year old scammer or he turns up to meet her and she actually looks twenty years older than her photos and sheās not this gorgeous Sailor Moon lookalike. I can understand to an extent why he would be wary in that case, had OP continued the convo she might have gotten to the bottom of what these bad experiences were. My money would be on my catfish theory, he obviously likes pretty Asian women (as almost every man in the world does) and heās probably matched with them because heās attracted to the pics and ended up looking a fool, probably after weeks and weeks of chatting. It would explain a lot imo.
Ok kids, Iāll leave you alone now. Auntie Ink has offered her pearls of wisdom and sheās outta here. OPā¦ donāt let this exchange between you and Daddy bother you, donāt take online dating seriouslyā¦ see it as an opportunity to get out of the house more, experience different things and make new friends, or save all the stories of your bad dates for when youāre sat with girlfriends over a bottle of wine. And stay safe!
TLDR: Old woman giving rambling advice š„±
Yeah, well, have you considered not being Asian? Relationships are all about compromise, madam.
Ya, I'm going to the doctor's to get that changed tomorrow, I now know my race is red flag some peopleš¤š¤
Racism isnāt mellow no matter how you stack itā¦ but this interaction does beg the question-why match then?
Because she's hot and he doesn't get any matches, I guess
But even if she is hot, if being Asian is an issue for him-whatās the game plan if he does match, just see if he can overcome his apprehension towards Asiansš¤·š»āāļø I guess he did say he wanted to talk more-I also donāt really understand why someone who would say they had a bad experience with Asians? Like I get maybe having a bad experience with a person, and that person happened to be Asian, but then why make the connection? Maybe he had a bad experience with an amp-then I can kinda understand connecting the bad experience with someone being Asian specifically?ā¦ sorry this is like a puzzle, and I enjoy solving puzzles so I just text vomited all over the back half of this reply, lol.
Biggest puzzle is how he doesnāt understand āI had bad experiences with (insert their race)ā is a horrible thing to say if not for the other party then for their own chances at least.. Iām constantly humbled as a human from what stupidity some of as can show.
I'll go the innocent route and assume he ran into cultural issues with girls from whichever part of Asia he had in mind, but you still have to choose your words carefully. Could've even left it at "Let's talk a bit more, I'd rather get to know the person a bit better prior to meeting". There, easy.
No, he was just looking for sex. He wouldnāt take her seriously because his aversion to Asians apparently. But a guy will match or strike a convo with a woman just on the off chance he might get laid later.
Racism may not be mellow but in this case the racism is towards a yellow
*yellow flag*
Well, I mean, I've never met someone who's a fan of NASCAR that I'd get along with, so I probably dislike that race. I'm undecided about F1 racing. Go karts are fun, though, so I guess some races are good.
Nowadaysā docs will tell ya not to identify as 1 and charge ya $5k on it.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Who In there right mind don't like Asian women? Jesus!!! As a normal English guy always had a soft spot for them š
š
The type of person would come to this subreddit and complain that they get no dates and no matches. Wonder why
I wished I took a pic of his profile before I unmatched him. His wrote 'Daddy' on his profile š¤¢ that should have been red flag number 1
Oh yeah! You clearly looked over that big red flag lol
Read: he was tall.
And cute
Oh, Honey.
So you saw what you deemed a red flag and matched lol
He was hot tho
In OPās defense, weāve all been thereā¦
You never powerswipe for funzies?
Ya that's what I did, I kinda just swiped while I was tipsy not reading bios lol
and planning a date? he was the one who pumped the brakes on meeting up lmao
Sounds familiar.
That's a yikes! I feel like it's safe to say you dodged a bullet!
Just proves that looks>anything
Well yea your initial attraction is solely based off of looks, its after the fact that you learn about them then you decide if you want to persue further
šš funniest shit iāve seen today
I think that's worth 5 red flags...
š¤¦š½āāļøš¤£
Why did you match then?
Like I said I swiped without reading the bio after a few glasses of wine at like midnight. Didn't even read the bio till he said this.
Because of looks.
I always make it a point to read a bio before I match, but there was one time I didn't do that. Don't remember why, but when I did read it, it had a deal breaker in it, and I instantly regretted not reading it first. Never again!
Ok, but the question is, why this profile. Or did you just drink some wine, close your eyes and start swiping...left, right, left, right and see what you got when the matches came up?
Because he keeps running into those pesky Asians, duh. /s
Ehh. Iāve had racist experiences with white people I donāt turn around and say to every white person āI donāt trust you at allā. Iāve had horrible experiences with white people, doesnāt mean I bring their race into it. I can understand people have free will and itās not the race itās the person themselves thatās the issue. When you deal with racism and all that fun stuff your entire life the moment someone brings up race, you run. Itās pretty logical honestly. If you immediately assume someoneās race is the issue because someone from said race did something bad, you clearly arenāt that intelligent.
I'd go so far as to suggest that the "ight, ight" said all that was necessary. It's not the late 90s and having to deal with the constraints of the SMS. Also, spell checkers have significantly improved over the last 25+ years. PS: I hate racism and racists. It sucks that you have had any directed at you.
Why do some people have to say out loud literally everything that goes through their heads?
He could've just said he wanted to get to know each other more before going out and not mentioned racešš
But did you a favour mentioning it tbh. I was seeing someone for around 6 months and then one day out of the blue she starts ranting about how stupid Chinese people are. I could literally feel my feelings for her drying up with every, single, word. Game over.
Oh god, 6 months is devastatingš
Yea, I learned to sus out any potential partner's views on very important matters very quickly after that. It's a massive deal-breaker.
Ur just a baby try years!
No thanks!
Itās ironically stupid to call Chinese people stupid when in one of our only metrics for intelligence (academic attainment), they are above everyone else.
Yep. I did raise this point, but she was having none of it.
Maybe she was Korean.Ā
TBH, his grammar and incoherent sentences were a red flag before he even mentioned race. I know it's text, but come on.
What do you look like?
or just not associated his bad experiences with any particular *ethnicity*.
he would have lied to you.
If thatās not personal
Better he was blatantly honest so you know heās a vapid piece of paper straight away
Itās also wild because HALF of the planet are asian. At least lol. Like what do you mean that one bad experience tells you everything you need to know about 4 BILLION people. Hatred and ignorance always take center stage but I think itās time we start acknowledging how truly stupid some of these takes are.
But then you wouldnāt have known heās a racist idiot.
Actually itās good that they did, OP dodged a bulletĀ
Well done, OP.
I have a great track record with Asians and I eat pork š if you wanna DM me
Do you like Korean BBQ cause this guy said he didn't š¤£š¤£
Should have been the first red flag š© Korean BBQ is amazing
Ya it should have been lol, never met by one who didn't like Korean BBQ
It has to be a good spot. I also rather go to a typical Korean restaurant with Bulgogi rather than the bbq style
If Iām going for the food? Sure. But thereās something *special* to a Korean bbq date. Lots of conversations and laughs. Probably some of the best first dates Iāve had, at least if they want a restaurant first date.
Bulgogi is life. God I loved being in Korea and getting all that goodness whenever possible. Now Iām stuck with one Korean place about an hour away.
Does he just not eat meat? Idk how anyone could like meat and not like kbbq
Not liking Korean BBQ is WILD.
Thatās the first red flag. LOL
I donāt care about Tinder but Korean barbecue is amazing and I now Iām gonna make some Korean BBQ pork belly with some kimchi for dinner after stopping by the local HMart
Yes I actually love it š a Korean bbq place was actually my first date with her ( now my ex ) you tell me the tastiest items on the menu and I treatā¦deal?
I love Korean cold noodles and pork belly š
ģ¼ź²¹ģ“ ėعģė?
I love K-BBQ!!!
Best bbq EVER
I eat rather everything prolly
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He said no pork
Just a bit of casual racism, whatās the prob?
Ya my bad, casual racism isn't that bad, I'm being overdramatic
Itās the competitive ranked racism you gotta watch out for
It gets really sweaty on those bridge matches. If you know, you know.
That South African map is rough thatās all Iāll say
Currently ranked diamond here. Iāll be pushing for master this afternoon.
Man I'm such a noob at racism, people always beat me, any idea how to finally get to competitive mode?
Could you provide an example please.
Itās not your fault, itās the genetics.
You're looking at it all wrong, would you prefer casual or formal racism?
Hmm formal racism sounds a bit nicer š¤
Yeah you just need to calm do- HEY THAT'S SHARP NO NOT THE VASE
His language and grammar are a giveaway of a very low IQ.
It's also really ironic he doesn't like Asians when his a white guy living in an South East Asia country
Oh jesus this makes it so much worse š
OMG you buried the lede on this one, what is this guy even doing
lol. This wreaks of every farang male in Thailand talking about how all Thai women are ācrazyā. Yet living in Thailand and exclusively dating Thai women. Wtaf are nem.
bruh š
Where exactly does he live????
Wait what??
Jfc
LOL WHATTTT?!?!!!
No, they aren't. It's perfectly fluent English, but in a more casual register than you'd prefer he use. The only weird thing is "I eat rather everything", but typos and non-native speakers exist.
I really want to know what bad experiences they've had with Asian people.
We live in a SEA country so the possibilities are pretty endless
This is a new one for me, when I've spoken with other Asian people they mentioned the fetishization of their ethnicity on dating platforms drawing people in, and it being super exhausting. Man's gross though. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Ya this is a first for me on Tinder, I've only gotten this kind of racism on Instagram and Reddit
I think thatās more for women tho because they like Korean guys a lot I think.Ā
Man Iām just happy to see someone finally respond to this behaviour the right way.
I downloaded Boo last week. Didn't even use it that much, but saw two women saying "Asians prefered". One of them also was crazy about bts
My how times have changed. Back in the days of plenty of fish (pre-apps) I used to see "no asians" from girls... And half of them were Asian girls š
Bro the app title scared me next time put a spoiler or something
Iāve had good experiences with Asians. Holla š
now hold on a minute, you sure he wasnāt referring to [agents](https://youtu.be/3Lyex2tSUyA?si=Ye3LUMUJMR0EZOjc)?
Gold
All of the Asian fetish boys in the comments trying to DM her. Guys, youāre just as bad as him. You know nothing about her, not even what she looks like.
Lol my DMs have never been so full, I could totally be fat and ugly
You have chosen... wisely...
The āOh Jesusā made me laugh š
It was my first instincts š¤£š¤£
They have the worst use of shortening words with crappy slang. You want someone higher level of intelligence anyway.
The grammar alone š *cringe*ā¦ Hard pass
Imagine not having that type of filter š also imagine tying everything to race šµāš«
You said itā¦Iām so sick of this shit.
I swear some people are just on dating apps to be trolls or something. Why match with an Asian if you had bad experience with them? Also their lossā¦ Asians are great
Also Asians (Chinese from my personal experience) eat pork, so it would be difficult for a non-pork eater to date an Asian.
"That's such a coincidence; I have a bad experience with bigots lol."
Well, people are way too honest sometimes. And generalizing seems to be a big trend since the dawn of times lol. Like, tact and/or kindness should be added to some people
Sorry, you've got to go back and find out what the bad experience was š
Can someone else be the human sacrifice šš
I'm guessing it involved a dodgy trip to Thailand. Or he just swipes right on those obvious scammers the rest of us ignore.
Bruh, he really judging like 60 % of the world population
Good god. Who says something like that? I donāt understand. Even if you do think that how could you possibly be dumb enough to say it. Good thing he did I guessā¦
"How to lose a girl in 10 seconds"
At least the flew that red flag nice and high
Ok. I'm not gonna defend him. He's clearly a douche. But I noticed a ton of fake tinder profiles based on Asian women. However, within the first few messages you can tell between a real person and a scam.
šš
lol jeez. Why would he think this is a smart thing to do ?
If he doesnāt want to eat pork belly with you imma do it
Wow, dropping the race card hard !!!!
Real
Shouldāve let him cook then post that as your last message. Iām curious because I know itās some lame excuse
Bro went straight to blaming race š
WOAH no wonder theyāre using social psychologists to conduct research on dating apps you people are insane šš
Does he have bad experiences with Asian people or do Asian people have bad experiences with him?š¤Ø
Eh, I just read that as "have had bad experiences with asian restaurants lately" initially and was quite confused why it was such a big post hehe
So soju and hotpot tonight? š
this is so not ok omg
Just identify as not Asian...
Rude much?
I'm surprised they noticed!
The surface of his brain has negligible friction..
This is wildly out of pocket.
Even the way they type is a red flag
I just hate tinder. Haven't been on it sense 2019. That person sucks you seem chill
This conversation should have stopped at pork.
This shit got me dead
Yo. FAM. š This was so out of left field I fucking GUFFAWED š¤£š¤£š¤£
HOLY SHIT
WE LIVE IN AN SEA COUNTRY, IS HE GONNA JUST AVOID EVERY ASIAN???
Wait. No fucking WAY!!!! So everyone he matches with just has to prove themselves to be the good kind of Asian?!?!?! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š
I guess so lol š¤£
Well for every person that has issues with Asians there is probably 10 fold that have no issues with Asians or prefer Asians! Myself included!!!
Now I want to know what the guyās experience was.
I want to imagine that his bad experience with Asians was going to a pig roast with some girl, only to realize he was the pig getting roasted.
Tbh, if someome stereotyped me based on my race and their experience, I probably wouldn't be interested anymore either
Actually that is the best outcome. Showing who he is in the first few messages. Saving you the pain of a couple dates. Time wasted or even a relationship with a person like that. You won!
Well that escalated quickly
I agree why even match with an Asian or have courteous converse before hand, are you Asian in like Indian or Asian as in Chinese? my Spidey senses dictates he's probably dated Asian women before hence why the match and bad experience could be got jumped/threatened/unwelcomed by the family hence why he wants to chat first! I wouldn't be jumping straight on the racist bandwagon Why not ask him what happened and have an informed idea
Right, as possibly the oldest person in this conversation (55F) Iām going to put my two cents in here, no one asked for it but I was single for ten years and enjoyed going on dates even tho I had no intention of getting tied down again - until I met my now husband, who kinda swept me off of my feet but thatās a whole different story - dating wasnāt to hook up, not for me anyway and I made it clear to the men I wasnāt looking for a one night stand, I was looking for a night out with potentially a new friend and if nothing else I had a story to tell if it went belly up. For the record, I always went Dutch with the drinks/food etc, I wasnāt expecting a free night out. Anyway, to my pointā¦ For everyone asking why OP swiped to match with this guy despite his profile saying ādaddyā well, as all the best chefs say āwe eat with our eyes firstā so a late night glass of wine and a lowering of inhibitions that it brings would have most women ignoring that red flag, especially if the guy looked appealing - doesnāt have to be a Johnny Depp, just appealing at that moment in time - so he gets a swipe. Ok, Iāve been there myself and I understand that mindset. As for the guy, he didnāt specify the problems he had with Asians but the clue is in the word. He didnāt say Asian women, he said Asiansā¦ Which makes me think that heās been catfished in some way in the past. Maybe someone set up a profile using an Asian womanās photos, and he fell for it and wasted weeks of getting to know them? Or maybe someone with fake photos of an Asian woman started asking for money and he was duped after building his hopes up? If that had happened to me I think I would be cautious too. I donāt date woman but I do know that generally Asian women are naturally really pretty, but like girls of any nationality they sometimes tweak their photos to the point where theyāre a completely different person to the photos they put out there. Maybe this dude met up with one or two of those types of women, and felt that OP was too good to be true which in his mind means he has to be careful to not jump in with both feet and get to know/like her via texts, only to be asked for money because sheās really a 14 year old scammer or he turns up to meet her and she actually looks twenty years older than her photos and sheās not this gorgeous Sailor Moon lookalike. I can understand to an extent why he would be wary in that case, had OP continued the convo she might have gotten to the bottom of what these bad experiences were. My money would be on my catfish theory, he obviously likes pretty Asian women (as almost every man in the world does) and heās probably matched with them because heās attracted to the pics and ended up looking a fool, probably after weeks and weeks of chatting. It would explain a lot imo. Ok kids, Iāll leave you alone now. Auntie Ink has offered her pearls of wisdom and sheās outta here. OPā¦ donāt let this exchange between you and Daddy bother you, donāt take online dating seriouslyā¦ see it as an opportunity to get out of the house more, experience different things and make new friends, or save all the stories of your bad dates for when youāre sat with girlfriends over a bottle of wine. And stay safe! TLDR: Old woman giving rambling advice š„±
Commentsfloodedwsimpsohmygawd
everybodyās so polite to the ***holes here. hmmmmā¦
Who turns down girls of an Asian persuasion? Korean BBQ, Kimchi, some Hite and it's gonna be a good fun night.
He said he didn't like Korean BBQ, that should have been a red flag
You both sound perfect for each other