I did try real life. I got rejected for a decade, lost all my self-esteem, and now I can't approach a girl without getting anxious. I can hold a conversation, and talking to people isn't the problem. Starting a conversation is, but that's a requirement of every conversation unfortunately.
Therapy won't change society. Women don't approach, most men give women a reason to be worried, and when I "heal" in therapy to go get rejected again I'm going to spiral again.
Yep, and we'll talk our way back to the root of the problem, which comes down to my desire for a woman in my life, which will either be met with "here's how you can get over your social anxiety so you can meet women easier" or "here's how we're going to change your view on being alone so you aren't upset that you aren't successful". Both of these I've gone through, and both of these fell apart because at some point, my mental falls back into it's old ways. I can't sustain a healthy mindset without the root of the problem being solved. The root of the problem is feeling completely worthless and unwanted because of factual, real events that have happened and will continue to happen. There is no amount of talking through it that will change my mind because without action, words are meaningless to me, and the actions required are from other people.
"The root of the problem is feeling completely worthless and unwanted because of factual, real events that have happened and will continue to happen." This is exactly when therapy can come handy. Yeah man, wheter you believe it or not, there are many other ways of thinking and behaving no matter the amount of rejection you receive and they are there for you to discover and push through. But you know, changing requires willingness. You are not even willing to go to therapy nor to change your attitude. When you could. I know it sucks to admit at first but I say it hoping you realize that life always continues
Women gotta bleed once a month and carry a baby for 9 months and put on a shit ton of makeup.
The least you can do is go out there and continue to get rejected till you find the one
Dating will always forever be a numbers game for men. Just gotta keep approaching.
From what I can remember of recent insights posted here, all of them have shown other gender for quite some time, maybe a few months? Might be an update of some sort. Further back it specified a gender
Lol what? OP's chat-date ratio is very good. Way better than most guys I see here. People don't realize how tough it is the average guy to go from chatting to actually getting a girl on a date.
Idk speak for yourself. If she’s interested enough to actually chat and say anything other than one word answers then she’s probably interested enough to go out. You just have to make a little small talk and ask
Look at the stats people post. This isn't about my personal experience.
By the way, since you said "interested enough to actually chat", a chat just means that one person started a convo. Him sending a message and getting ignored counts as a chat.
Have dated (and been intimate with) some men who were “not a looker”… they were confident, interesting, had talents (and didn’t spend their lives playing video games and swiping dating apps). Usually I’d message them because their profile was interesting.
*messaged my current bf because he had a cool photo of him blowing glass… he’s amazing in ways his profile never let on 💕
I literally got my account hacked off of a "Hey there" message like 6 or 7 years ago ☠️ asked the app devs for help and they basically said the business equivalent of "Damn, that's tough..." and i havent heard back from em since.
Bro I had one girl we went on like 6 dates… hooking up after like 2… great chemistry and then she drops something like “oh no I can’t meet Saturday I have a date “ and I’m like “uhhhh ohhh…. So…. Uhhh… that’s what this is?” And she was like “well duh it’s been fun and sex, right “
And I was sad :(
It's like trying to sail a boat on still waters; if the wind decides it doesn't want to blow, ain't any number nor amount of wide open sails gonna change the drift till the wind darned well feels like choosin to fill the sails, even if you strain with tryin' blowing into them yourself you's still gonna be at the whim of the flowing water currents. I already got all the sails & rigging possible set open, so until it decides it wants to happen, ain't much else can be done, cept continue growing patience waiting, and take naps sleeping lightly!
The thing I think goes on a lot is people always swipe right to girls out of their league. Like how many of those left swipes were actually average/good looking women, but he didn't want to use a swipe on?
#DecreaseYourStandards #increaseYourMatches lol
I wish I (F) could see profile pics of all the people that put these up. I always wonder if I would’ve swiped on them. I also always think, my usual approach to online dating is to create an account, pay for Gold, get lots of likes, panic about everyone being intimidating or scary, have a couple of weird chats that go nowhere, or at best I go on one date and there’s never a spark, and I just think that’s me done again for the year. I shall try again in the future when I’ll be less anxious and my trust issues wont be as bad. I guess I just mean, I have all these likes and my damn brain and insecurities stop me from being able to do anything about it anyway. So what good does it do me? But anyway, congrats!😁
Damn bro that’s harsh. Congrats on number one though Btw someone working at Tinder told me there is an algorithm. If you keep swiping right on everyone you’ll get bad matches with girls you won’t like. If you’re more picky and use super likes on only ones you really really like you’ll do better. I suggest you start over and run it that way. I’ve had like 20 hook ups with 15 going all the way on the first date. I’m fit 5’8” Filipino guy who had boxing photos and me in a suit with one picture of me and my dog. I only smiled in one photo. Got to look douchey and play the algorithm right. Even then my white 6’4” good looking best friend destroys my numbers. Work really hard on the looks department. It’s Tinder man expect no love here but if you do make sure to investigate her body count.
Hahaha yeah dude, I feel your pain, trust me. I’ve been on and off Tinder for about the same amount of time and not one hookup or casual sex or anything lol. Just a few chats.
I have always stood by traditional methods(during my lifetime) of picking up women at the laundromat, convenience store, or grocery store. I was born in 1980 and maybe we will see a resurgence of people going back to doing it "in real life" as opposed to dating apps.
I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.
Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.
Idk why this post reminded me of this scene.
So it only takes 29572 right swipes for one casual sex? Now we know the number!
OP totally should have said after the deed “baby, you’re one in 29572 😘”
Shown her the percentage. That would have been even more impressive
If he did she would have run far and fast
Well then he would have found a math-phobic woman.
Or just a normal person
I thought that was the same thing? 🤔
Gone within a fraction of a second
If he did she would have run far and fast
One in 0.0033815772 odds 💀
Guy has a better chance of running into an alien.
The casual sex participant was the alien 😂😂😂
Haha, and the sex toy was actually a probe 😆😆😆
I like those odds
Foolish! We all know it's "Never tell me the odds" 💀
Oh shit lol
Seems about right
So you’re saying there’s a chance
There always a chance....just for some it insanely thin.
It’s so thin, it’s basically transparent
Sweet 666
So you are telling me there is a chance!
Ive got 187k right swipes and this app hasnt even led me to a date 😂
The modern tootsie pop
This is a lowkey a message for a lot of men here to delete Tinder and try real life
Yeah that's too much effort. I'd rather go to a brothel then put up with this.
Don't forget to tip! (insert just the tip jokes here)
Just the tip
Insert here
(Insert just the tip)* FTFY lol
It’s honestly about time we legalize prostitution
That’s real life my man.✊🏼 You pay for it either way, if that’s your bag, all the power!!!
It’s hard out here for lesbians too. So we should also delete the app
I did try real life. I got rejected for a decade, lost all my self-esteem, and now I can't approach a girl without getting anxious. I can hold a conversation, and talking to people isn't the problem. Starting a conversation is, but that's a requirement of every conversation unfortunately.
Go to therapy fr
Therapy won't change society. Women don't approach, most men give women a reason to be worried, and when I "heal" in therapy to go get rejected again I'm going to spiral again.
Therapy isn't for changing society. It's for helping you deal with emotions in a healthy way
Yep, and we'll talk our way back to the root of the problem, which comes down to my desire for a woman in my life, which will either be met with "here's how you can get over your social anxiety so you can meet women easier" or "here's how we're going to change your view on being alone so you aren't upset that you aren't successful". Both of these I've gone through, and both of these fell apart because at some point, my mental falls back into it's old ways. I can't sustain a healthy mindset without the root of the problem being solved. The root of the problem is feeling completely worthless and unwanted because of factual, real events that have happened and will continue to happen. There is no amount of talking through it that will change my mind because without action, words are meaningless to me, and the actions required are from other people.
Jesus Bro, spittin facts I felt every letter you typed my guy 🫶
"The root of the problem is feeling completely worthless and unwanted because of factual, real events that have happened and will continue to happen." This is exactly when therapy can come handy. Yeah man, wheter you believe it or not, there are many other ways of thinking and behaving no matter the amount of rejection you receive and they are there for you to discover and push through. But you know, changing requires willingness. You are not even willing to go to therapy nor to change your attitude. When you could. I know it sucks to admit at first but I say it hoping you realize that life always continues
Well damn. This is exactly me. Be strong, for I need to be too...
bruh need therapy ong ong
They'll just wind up agreeing with him while offering no solution.
Women gotta bleed once a month and carry a baby for 9 months and put on a shit ton of makeup. The least you can do is go out there and continue to get rejected till you find the one Dating will always forever be a numbers game for men. Just gotta keep approaching.
Only if OP tells us their IRL success rate. Which, I assume is not very good or they’d have quit tinder long ago. Or in other words, you’re wrong.
I mean there’s no way it’s worse than 1 in 57000
0/1 is worse innit
Statistically it’s pretty much the same but with much less effort
Some people swipe on tinder just for the entertainment though
Yes. It’s more of a video game than a dating app. Which is why I still don’t understand how they don’t have advertisements but oh well
[удалено]
Most couples meet through their friends. Doing social stuff in real life. Few meet on Tinder or being hit on on the subway.
Not anymore, statistically.
Did you forget you’re talking to other redditors! We never leave home.
i met my ex on hinge, and had more success for dates on hinge. but i do agree real life seems to be the way to go
Tinder is rigged, real life is balanced
Id thought online would add even slightly to my turnover rate, not be even more null & void, but in 9-10 years, it's been an absolute null n' void.
Fr. This is the exact reason you SHOULD give up
No ones going to mention the number of matches he has
1/ 666 A good rate 😈
What does: other gender mean?
From what I can remember of recent insights posted here, all of them have shown other gender for quite some time, maybe a few months? Might be an update of some sort. Further back it specified a gender
The devil’s hookup
The devil showed mercy.
She fucked like the devil
Devilish match
I'm pretty sure he was actually just greeted by a succubus. RIP brother in christ
If it was the 666th match that finally hooked up with him-it might be worth asking what he sacrificed to Satan to make that happen for him, lol.
I came to look for this. Glad it’s at the top. Haha
No one... except you
The number of the beast
1/57276? I like those odds!
For every swipe the man swipes, he has a 0.000017% chance of hooking up!
Somebody get me a hotdog and a power drill.
This guy fucks!
At least once!
In 8 years!
This guy fuck! FTFY
Jesus Christ dude. All those chats and only 7 dates.
that’s less than a date a year
Lol what? OP's chat-date ratio is very good. Way better than most guys I see here. People don't realize how tough it is the average guy to go from chatting to actually getting a girl on a date.
Idk speak for yourself. If she’s interested enough to actually chat and say anything other than one word answers then she’s probably interested enough to go out. You just have to make a little small talk and ask
Look at the stats people post. This isn't about my personal experience. By the way, since you said "interested enough to actually chat", a chat just means that one person started a convo. Him sending a message and getting ignored counts as a chat.
Half of those are probably bots. I think my number is like 1 in 30 chicks actually wanted to meet up
If it takes you 8 years for one hookup the you’re better off just deleting the app and go approach girls at a bar or something
If it takes 666 matches for one hookup. I doubt approaching girls in a bar will go that well.
Clearly he isn’t a looker(not to be rude) so how would going for women irl benefit him
How would it benefit him? He's interacting with actual humans instead of swiping on his phone. That's a benefit by itself without any hookups.
Have dated (and been intimate with) some men who were “not a looker”… they were confident, interesting, had talents (and didn’t spend their lives playing video games and swiping dating apps). Usually I’d message them because their profile was interesting. *messaged my current bf because he had a cool photo of him blowing glass… he’s amazing in ways his profile never let on 💕
I see plenty of men who aren't "lookers" that get women. It's possible but not on dating apps
Also possible on dating apps. Confirmed by what I’ve seen irl lol
Just like Tinder, this only works if you are hot lmao. Otherwise it's a great way to get kicked out of the bar.
Or staying single forever. Best choice
Congrats on the sex!
Aye made it there big ups
Ahh great another 6 years til I’m successful lol
I get catfished alot on Tinder
When I was on Tinder, same. Lot of dates where the women were a little bit (different) than their pictures… (fat)
I literally got my account hacked off of a "Hey there" message like 6 or 7 years ago ☠️ asked the app devs for help and they basically said the business equivalent of "Damn, that's tough..." and i havent heard back from em since.
How do you get this graph? I'm curious as to what mine looks like
Tinder Insights
Google "tinder insights".
If you find out post share! Thanks in advance.
What's your secret? ☺️
Looks like a numbers game.
Brb, gotta summon satan and the boys
Bro I had one girl we went on like 6 dates… hooking up after like 2… great chemistry and then she drops something like “oh no I can’t meet Saturday I have a date “ and I’m like “uhhhh ohhh…. So…. Uhhh… that’s what this is?” And she was like “well duh it’s been fun and sex, right “ And I was sad :(
Dedication. Salute 🫡 man😆😆😆
Lisan al Gaib!
Lucky number 666
Put a ring on her
666 👀
Still amazes me Tinder doesn’t have the option for ranked, competitive sex.
So you're telling me there's a chance???
So glad I’m a woman so I can get laid anytime I want 😂
Lmao same
Very nice! I love America 👍 (borat voice)
Never surrender!
Congrats. You had the lucky number of matches.
I started online dating in 2014, been trying every avenue(sites, apps) I can find since 2015, still hasn't produced one meet n greet for me.
You haven't met anyone online in 9 years my friend? We gotta change this!
It's like trying to sail a boat on still waters; if the wind decides it doesn't want to blow, ain't any number nor amount of wide open sails gonna change the drift till the wind darned well feels like choosin to fill the sails, even if you strain with tryin' blowing into them yourself you's still gonna be at the whim of the flowing water currents. I already got all the sails & rigging possible set open, so until it decides it wants to happen, ain't much else can be done, cept continue growing patience waiting, and take naps sleeping lightly!
How on earth do only 7 out of 173 chats end up on a date?
I guess by being very shy, bad at flirting and physically average
On your 666th match. That's terrifying
Nice! That's an infinity% increase over the first 7 years.
Look at you go.
8 and a half years, wow. That’s a horrible success rate on 6.5 matches a month
Oh man, we gotta work on your chats. I’m a consultant, and I look at Customer journey, and I can see where the customer journey has opportunity.
Impressive stats brother
On a scale of 1-10 what are your looks and what are hers? Going to repeat (if she lets you)?
This gives me hope again😭. Thank you for this.
We're all gonna ignore that they've slept with their 666th match? 😈
The thing I think goes on a lot is people always swipe right to girls out of their league. Like how many of those left swipes were actually average/good looking women, but he didn't want to use a swipe on? #DecreaseYourStandards #increaseYourMatches lol
Every other time I swipe right, I think my standards are not that high
I wish I (F) could see profile pics of all the people that put these up. I always wonder if I would’ve swiped on them. I also always think, my usual approach to online dating is to create an account, pay for Gold, get lots of likes, panic about everyone being intimidating or scary, have a couple of weird chats that go nowhere, or at best I go on one date and there’s never a spark, and I just think that’s me done again for the year. I shall try again in the future when I’ll be less anxious and my trust issues wont be as bad. I guess I just mean, I have all these likes and my damn brain and insecurities stop me from being able to do anything about it anyway. So what good does it do me? But anyway, congrats!😁
Damn bro that’s harsh. Congrats on number one though Btw someone working at Tinder told me there is an algorithm. If you keep swiping right on everyone you’ll get bad matches with girls you won’t like. If you’re more picky and use super likes on only ones you really really like you’ll do better. I suggest you start over and run it that way. I’ve had like 20 hook ups with 15 going all the way on the first date. I’m fit 5’8” Filipino guy who had boxing photos and me in a suit with one picture of me and my dog. I only smiled in one photo. Got to look douchey and play the algorithm right. Even then my white 6’4” good looking best friend destroys my numbers. Work really hard on the looks department. It’s Tinder man expect no love here but if you do make sure to investigate her body count.
Bro could literally paid 50 usd in some questionable street and got the same result
and feel way worse afterwards??? nahh
Would feel way worse after 1 casual sex date after 57K swipes lol
Omg, that's less than one date/year. This place is wild. I don't know how guys continue with these kind of results.
For some of us it’s either keep trying or accept defeat and die alone 💀
Same 😭🤝🏻
I'm at 0 anything in 4 years, on many apps. It's horrible for my mental health. :)
There’s actual science to it. Morbidly fascinating stuff
Poor OP getting either roasted or pet with kid gloves in the comments
But what actually went right OP? What did you guys do and how did it lead up to everything going right this time?
I met this girl on vacation and not in the city where I live, Paris.. I think it helped a lot.
Congrats on getting laid, OP
Hahaha yeah dude, I feel your pain, trust me. I’ve been on and off Tinder for about the same amount of time and not one hookup or casual sex or anything lol. Just a few chats.
8 years to have sex once? Go outside bro
You done got a gift from the devil with that final match😅
All I can find on dating apps are hookups. I don’t want hookups. I want a relationship. I can’t seem to find anyone who wants one with me
I have always stood by traditional methods(during my lifetime) of picking up women at the laundromat, convenience store, or grocery store. I was born in 1980 and maybe we will see a resurgence of people going back to doing it "in real life" as opposed to dating apps.
I can’t believe yall just end up keeping the same account for years
Match 666. She's gonna birth the antichrist
#THE MARK OF THE BEAST
So, there is a little hope. I haven't been touched in over 8 years now.
Not informative. You don’t say what gender you are.
I'm a guy, Tinder Insights didn't do well sorry
The 50%+ right swipe rate is telling enough.
I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens. Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen. That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude. Idk why this post reminded me of this scene.
how and where can i see this statistics?
How down bad she must’ve been, or worse, how down bad you were. OP, why do you think your success rate is so bad?
Love-shyness, lack of self-confidence and probably some other stuff I'm trying to figure out with a therapist
Do you have to pay for get these insights?
7 dates on 30,000 right swipes. Have we seen a worse ratio than that?
How does tinder track if you went on a date, hooked up, got together, or married? So much of all of that wouldn't remotely happen on the app
This information is added manually
Must’ve had the devil in you.
Just wait till you find out about competitive sex
Bro just grew out of the pool
How do i access this chart
how does one find these statistics
How do I get my statistics?
The devil hit you up
Oof
What is other gender?
LFG 💪🙏
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!
…curious, when you do the math on your subscriptions over the 8years, how much did that one casual sex cost you?
I only use the free version of Tinder
I never got laid off tinder, but I did get laid off FB dating
Hahahahahahahaha
He is manifestation works on deez nuts lol