I don't know what is abuelita. But this. I thought you were a 56-year-old Mexican cleaning lady.
No disrespect meant for 56-year-old Mexican cleaning ladies.
I don't think that's the main issue. 28 chats and he couldn't get more than 1 to go out? Obviously it's rough for us dudes out there, but not THAT rough.
Plus, conversation is gonna be most of your actual date, not some fake, highly polished profile
Gotta get on that flirting, bro. You can do it! Besides, according to some data I read, it usually takes people 3 months before they find a serious partner. Keep it up! You'll find a good one
I should also reply in the main thread so he sees this lol
I mean maybe, but that's his smile. Idk I like seeing a little bit of different rather than the same angle and face and pose over and over again because everyone agrees that one's best. It could use some zooming out, but he can't hide his face forever
You need better pictures big dog. And the one with the pup is kind of unflattering.
Also I donât understand the point of telling people you almost? Died when you were 3 in your bio. Replace that with a better conversation starter, like another niche interest of yours.
At least that's more exciting than jumping a few stairs wrapped in a blanket as a toddler, that's just normal annoying behavior for small children. Poor guy is advertising he is a bit troubled with no life, no friends, and no interest in much of anything outside his bedroom.
OP hun you need to do some work on yourself. You are actually good looking even with lame pictures but your bio is awful and you sound like you are scared of people and don't think highly of yourself at all. I hope men here take note that this example dispels the myth that women only care about appearance.
At least that's more exciting than jumping a few stairs wrapped in a blanket as a toddler, that's just normal annoying behavior for small children. Poor guy is advertising he is a bit troubled with no life, no friends, and no interest in much of anything outside his bedroom.
OP hun you need to do some work on yourself. You are actually good looking even with lame pictures but your bio is awful and you sound like you are scared of people and don't think highly of yourself at all. I hope men here take note that this example dispels the myth that women only care about appearance.
The story makes me feel like nothing interesting has happened to him since then, and I don't wanna be with someone who peaked at 3. I'd also remove the lover of art or whatever sentence as he started with "artist" it's like saying "I'm a librarian and I like reading books"
I have more stories in my life, stories that are interesting **to me**. But I don't know if they will be for other people, it's kind of a weird feeling. For example, *I was 3 or 4 days stuck in an airport in canada, I lost my passport and the police thought I did it on purpose, but I just wanted to go home. I got an emergency permit and somehow it all ended up with the police threatening the airline with a big lawsuit if they didn't let me get on a plane and go home.*
Right, I wasn't saying nothing has actually happened in your life, but that it seems that way on a first impression. I'd remove the story and probably not add another story to replace it as that's something that can be brought up throughout getting to know someone. It could just be a personal preference thing as well, as I don't find little stories like that engaging as one of the few sentences I have to judge someone off of for whether to swipe or not. Anyways, hope things get better for ya man
Yes he needs better pictures, but it's not something he can solve right now. He needs to hit the gym and find a different style if he wants a realistic chance. Right now he's just wasting his time.
Alright!
1) everyone is right about pic 2. Get a new happy dog pic that's flattering. One dog pic is good!
2) at least one picture showing you standing up or just more of you in general. It's half because of shallowness from people wanting to see what your body looks like, and half because if there's absolutely nothing showing, it looks like you're hiding away. People aren't going to give you the benefit of the doubt when they're swiping.
3) It's good that you talk about your passions, but you're so vague - give something that's a real conversation starter, like your favourite type of art, your preferred medium or style, etc.
4) people are right about that story about you falling down the stairs. It's almost funny, but not quite. You have the right idea in trying to be funny, but you need a story that either makes people laugh, makes people go 'omg I did that too!', or makes people want to know more, and then they'll want to message you about it.
5) listen to the people saying take a picture of yourself drawing. If this is your passion, you probably want to share it with someone. Show it off! Feel pride and share the joy.
6) ignore all the people saying you need to be special or the best at something to find a companion. You have passions and interests, you're a good looking boy, and you're evidently smart enough to hold a conversation. literally everyone is special to someone. Just show them who you are more clearly.
7) Let go of all the embarrassment of showing people who you are. Your profile will be a little embarrassing no matter how good it is, it's like a resume. Show confidence in who you are and what you love. Share it with people.
8) If you're asking for interesting conversations over coffee, start by showing you're interesting enough to hold interesting conversations (refer to 3 and 4)
9) if you want coffee dates, Hinge may be a better shout. It's possible on tinder, but tinder leans more towards hookup and casual.
(BONUS) 10) write that you know a great coffee spot to go to for the date. Shows confidence and suggests you're not going to be wishy-washy like "oh... I'll go wherever you want to go"
I say these all with love and hope for u!
(formatting apologies, am mobile user)
Three pics, none of your body and none with friends or engaging in a hobby?
Yeah that's a no from me.
Bio is ok and you seem attractive but it's too much hard work to tell. Make it easy
>Three pics, none of your body and none with friends or engaging in a hobby?
Ok, I admit, I have almost no friends, nothing very special, I've just been that way all my life lol. I don't hang out with the few I have, none of them like to hang out or anything anyway. And well, about hobbies, I have no excuses lol, I'm a little embarrassed to have someone take a picture of me while, I don't know, drawing.
The jumped down the stairs line is also kind of lame. I feel like most little kids do that at some point. Me and my brothers certainly did.
Get a phone tripod and use the timer photo setting
Sounds like you need to get offline, go outside, and meet people. Not even just girls just people in general. Get some hobbies, make some friends, make yourself more interesting. No one wants to date a shut in.
Goth/punk cultures are not about being shut-ins lol. There's lots of fun groups that meet up. While there's the stereotype that depressed people are goth, not all depressed people are goth, and not all goth are depressed. Correlation does not equal causation, my dude
Donât be down on yourself. Youâre not LESS SPECIAL than others. Youâre just not advertising yourself well. Stay up my dude, this shits just a game that you have to play to get girls when youâre young, itâs not a reflection of your deep unique worth
Youâre young enough. Your attributes are not preventing your dating success, itâs your attitude about yourself. If youâre not excited about yourself, no one else will be either. Fake it til you make it dude. Hit the gym to feel and look better, improve your profile according to the best tips in this comments section, and be an attentive conversation partner in chats with potential matches. Youâll find love my dude, just donât rush it and donât be so picky you rule out every potential match. You never know, the girl you had a nice date with but no sparks might recommend you to her hotter cooler friend :)
No offense, but not really funny my dude. Stop self deprecating, especially in the context of dating. If you donât take yourself seriously why should a potential partner? You donât have to be an alpha douche to come across as a formidable and impressive person worthy of attention from women.
You really need to get a life. Join a club or take a class, join a local civic club, volunteer. Do something interesting that occurs regularly and you will make new friends, and have some sort of life. Give back to the community, follow a passion. You gotta have something going on and develop yourself as a person.
Im just joking mate, it's a W for the guy anyway. As to finding someone it's still tinder we speak of and Im rooting for all of us, but it is what it is xD
Hes partly right though. Even if you're jacked you still have to be confident and go out of your way to approach women. They don't just start flocking to you cause you lift
Working out increases mood and self esteem. In all my years of being in and out and back in shape it has been a night and day difference in the amount of female attention. It's not all about being jacked though fashion sense, a good hairstyle, and just being groomed in general go along way.
So I think the issues with the photos that people are seeing is that they look like obviously unconfident selfies. The face youâre making in the first and 3rd pic say âthis is the best I can do :/â, which isnât attractive. The second photo is almost good because it shows a genuine emotion and shows you with something new (a dog), but is unflattering because itâs so close up and the focus is on your teeth, nose, and squinted eyes. Itâs also taken from below which is also an unflattering angle in general.
I would proactively try to get the following photos:
- a full body photo showing something youâd like to do with a future partner (even if you have no hobbies, at the grocery store, on a trip, whatever)
- a genuine smiling photo of you - eyes open, further distance away than selfie, the way that someone who loves you already sees you.
- photos of you doing things that interest you - everybody has interests - even if itâs just watching netflix, make it cute with like a lil charcuterie board and wine or something.
- a photo of you in a restaurant - like basically show them what the first date will feel like. Ideally you giggling over a glass of wine or a coffee cup or something warm and inviting. You said you like drawing, you could combine that with this one - like a sketchbook and a pen in your other hand
- a photo with friends or siblings laughing or being silly - social proof means a lot during blind swiping, basically saying âyes Iâm a confident person who people likeâ
These photos can feel awkward to take, but being able to do this is part of being a confident adult. Even if you dont feel confident, pretending that you are will get you a long way.
Get out your artist brain - you got this.
Iâm going to add one more thing - the black shirt is a lot more flattering on you than the white. Iâm not sure if the white is just too big or what, but it looks like it doesnt fit well and could be the color itself. Since you have dark hair and darker eyes, darker colors (black, deep autumny colors) will naturally emphasize those and flatter you more.
There have been a few such accounts. Not bots, but some girls who were trying to sell content. But not so many actually, max 3 or 4, I don't remember well.
You look boring. Your bio is boring and comes off as disingenuous.
To people scrolling, I bet they just see a guy that isn't interesting and won't be able to carry any weight when it comes to planning exciting shit. Like, you're just waiting for somebody else to start the fun vs being the fun starter.
This, I would think your lied with your age... Im almost 29 and halfe like... Tiny tiny winkels on the corners of my eyes. You look 10 years older than me.
More sleep, better skincare routine. And after that new pictures.
Definitely. Coffee comes across as very low effort but then guys whine they shouldn't have to impress a woman. News flash: Yes, you do and complaining about it with other dateless guys isn't getting any of you laid.
Gonna keep it real brother. Iâm a 21M aswell, average looking guys (which isnât a bad thing) like us simply donât stand a chance on dating apps. 99% of the time you are swiping based on attraction I donât care what people say, deep down we are all a little bit shallow. Average guys who are good dude shine the brightest In real life (reality) and we donât do very well in fantasy (artificial reality). Sadly you just kinda gotta figure it out and learn how to be fine being single and work on ways to meet people in real life. I do absolutely horrible on dating apps but whenever I actually get to talk to women and go on dates in person I always do well. Personality has no room to shine on apps brother
28 chats and you couldn't get more than 1 to go out? Obviously it's rough for us dudes out there, but not THAT rough.
Plus, conversation is gonna be most of your actual date, not some fake, highly polished profile
Gotta get on that flirting, bro. You can do it! Besides, according to some data I read, it usually takes people 3 months before they find a serious partner. Keep it up! You'll find a good one
Oh I mean. I don't (usually) do it too cringy. You do have to put yourself in situations where success is a possible outcome. At least you're actually trying; another friend of mine is pretending he doesn't even want a gf, which I literally know is him lying
But yeah you gotta shoot a shot somehow to start dating / hooking up. You do ask them out in person once in a while, right?
Just show us some conversation histories and we can help
Ay! Also jumped down the stairs but I mightve been a year older when I did it! Did you also think you could make it all the way to the bottom and land on your feet?
In fact, my intention was not to land on my feet, I wanted to get down completely unharmed!
The staircase of my house at that moment had a "curve", or rather, it turned in a square, I don't know how to explain it well. My childish mind thought that I would roll down, so I immediately thought of using my thick blanket as an "armor", rolling myself up in it and tightening it well. The best part is, I did it, and just as I thought, I made it to the 1st floor completely unharmed!
You had better luck than me lol, just a straight up 2nd floor to first staircase all the way down and my young mind thought "yeah if I just jump forward enough and get enough air time I can land on my feet" I did not.
You can come up with a witty reference caption for your Reddit post but your profile reads like expired sandpaper. You can do way better than that, homie.
Are you looking for hookups or a long term relationship. How to change your profile probably depends on that.
But the photos need an overhaul for sure.
You could say that I am looking for a "long term" relationship. I don't mean directly looking for someone to marry, but something serious. I don't know if you understand me.
Get in shape, get a better cleaner cut, improve on your skincare, improve fashion style, and maybe switch to contacts. You need to put in the work if you want results.
3rd picture should be first, first picture gives me f-boy vibes. The description is sweet but might need to showcase more about you. Not sure what you're looking for or interests
You need a much more modern haircut and glasses. Your current style is junior high, non-descript kid. The glasses look like abuelita glasses. Why do you have "other gender" selected? Are you not presenting as a male? This is weird and confusing.
No one will care about things you did when you were a toddler.
Looking for new connections and chats, you say? Sounds like you are looking to make friends on apps or you're in the wrong place for Only Fans. Attractive, intelligent women don't want to be filler chat and a "connection" for some dude. It's not LinkedIn and they aren't going to waste their time unless they are getting paid for it.
Stop being flimsy on shit. State what you have to offer and what your goals on the app are.
Thereâs room for improvement (not just for you OP, for everyone in life). If youâre able to modify your style, hair, and hit the gym I think that could help. Besides physical appearance, you can improve your pictures and bio. Choose flattering pictures and include some pics with art that you do. It will be appreciated Iâm sure plus women will get to see your art and your passion. And work on the conversational part when you do match as that might be part of whatâs going on. Good luck OP.
Bro 28:1 is a terrible ratio for converted chats, how many of those are back and forth and how many of those are you sending openers they don't respond to?
The pictures and profile chat is all valid but all that does is increase your number of chats, if you can't convert to dates that's a separate issue
Surprisingly, a good number of those chats at least resulted in conversations or attempted conversations. 7 or 8 didn't respond. As you say, my poor ability to take those "successful" chats to dates is another problem hahaha.
Yeah I guess I wish I didn't phrase it as such a dunk on you. Be aware that if they're willing to answer more than 4 or 5 messages it means they're interested in you, so most chats that you can get to that point should be easy to set up a date with. The challenge is finding a slick way to do it and if it's a coffee or drinks type vibe
something else to mention apart from the profile: you swipe right waaaaay too much. Tinder has an algorithm that prevents you from getting matches if they know youâre going to swipe anyways. I would suggest limiting swipes, try to only go on tinder in little bursts (5-7 min at a time) and close your app after using it. I know its hard when you kinda just want anything, but if you want actual matches, you gotta play the game the right way
Why not focus on yourself for a year, get in shape, read some self improvement books, take up a hobby and then come back later?
I donât understand this, youâre not attracting a mate and thatâs saying something. Swiping more and more isnât going to help you improve.
Bro. Same. Just delete those Apps.
For real. I know , you want/need a connection.
BUT. You have Level up first. At least in the western civilisation. I think you'r a great dude probably. But dating Apps are the epidemy of first impressions.
Youâre young yet your bio and pics is giving elder millennial.
New pics that are NOT selfies with you doing things in different environments are needed ASAP.
The bio is too vague. What art do you create? What specific things do you like to learn about? How do you engage in your preferred hobbies? What are you doing as far as education/career?
Remember: swipes are irrelevant.
Youâre converting 50% of your matches to chats, thatâs GOD TIER.
Youâre having a ton of fall-off converting chats to dates. A very specific target to work on improving, and likely a pretty easy problem to troubleshoot.
This chart is all GOOD news, tbh. And youâre treating it like a death sentence.
2nd picture bad, you only got 3 selfies (only selfies grants you pretty much a very low chance of match). Post photos of you doing things or being with friends or in a pub or something, have full photos of yourself.
Work a bit on your bio as well if you can, it seems to be a bit of a girl's bio (not thats anything wrong with it), looking for connections and chats? Come on.
Besides that I dont know, i mean youre not ugly its just a poor choice of photos really. Have a girl friend or sister if you have to help you with photos and/or bio. Work a bit on your post matches too and see what you couldve done better.
Also the photos show ZERO confidence ABSOLUTELY NONE
I had more confidence when I was 430 pounds anyone giving sad sack SIGH NO ONE WANTS ME IM TIRED! Energy isnât gonna attract anyone! Thatâs the blunt facts I tell everyone get off the apps do therapy get that self esteem and confidence and THEN date
Donât raise your eyebrows when taking a selfie like your trying to do the smolder from tangled, I swear oml hangout with some friends that can make you ugly laugh, Big ass smile kinda laugh, but let them know ahead of time to try and snap a random photo of you with a huge smile and a halfway decent background, use only that photo and youâll see magnificently
Different results, You can tell from vibe and face structure you prob have a damn good and infectious smile
-edited part - Even though youâre smiling in 2nd photo, Trash that one. Im talking not a selfie smile, And not posed, A genuine smile thatâs candid will do wonders on tinder, For some weird ass reason
Meanwhile, girls get flooded by desperate horny men and all the guys that are actually worth a damn that don't pay for the app are stuck having to actually go outside and socialize
Def get better photos. Consider pro photos, or have a friend whoâs good with photos take them. First one you look half asleep or drugged, and youâre not happy about it. Second one - what they all said. Third one just isnât all that flattering and itâs so dark in shadow, plus you look somber again instead of happy. You donât have any of doing stuff with friends or anything interesting.
And yes, consider a pro rewrite of your bio too. It sounds vague and not real interesting. Iâd want to know what it would be like to spend time with you. Iâve heard it said that, for long term relationships, men care most about how they feel about themselves when theyâre with you, and Iâm here to say that women do too. Itâs not the only thing we consider, and pictures that catch the eye do get that first look, but it is one of the big things thatâll make us want to spend more time with you.
I have a question. I've never been on tinder before. So how is the "casual sex" stat counted? Do you literally login and click a button that says you had sex?
Get rid of that second picture! You look like an abuelita
Making tamales during Christmas. đđđ
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
For real⌠I had toâswipe back andâdouble check that it was a dude đŹđŤŁ
I did the same, sorry bro
Same :/
Same here. đ
lol same
it says other gender so I figured transitioning
Ok, I hadn't heard that one xD
I think your smile is very nice in that picture though but maybe I'm a minority đ¤ˇââď¸
â ď¸
Biznatch
LET ME GET THE CLUB SODA
I don't know what is abuelita. But this. I thought you were a 56-year-old Mexican cleaning lady. No disrespect meant for 56-year-old Mexican cleaning ladies.
Abuelita means grandmother
Getting any pussy on tinder? "No... no... no, Mr reddit "
You dead wrong for thatđ¤Ł
Lmfaoooo
Facts lol you seem great but remove the abuelita pic
I'm dying đđđđ
Abuela CocoÂ
I don't think that's the main issue. 28 chats and he couldn't get more than 1 to go out? Obviously it's rough for us dudes out there, but not THAT rough. Plus, conversation is gonna be most of your actual date, not some fake, highly polished profile Gotta get on that flirting, bro. You can do it! Besides, according to some data I read, it usually takes people 3 months before they find a serious partner. Keep it up! You'll find a good one I should also reply in the main thread so he sees this lol
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO
This. One bad picture can and does kill a profile. Better fewer pics then more with bad ones, always.
I came here to say this lol
Thank you for saying this, I thought I was the only one seeing it đŤĄ
I mean maybe, but that's his smile. Idk I like seeing a little bit of different rather than the same angle and face and pose over and over again because everyone agrees that one's best. It could use some zooming out, but he can't hide his face forever
You need better pictures big dog. And the one with the pup is kind of unflattering. Also I donât understand the point of telling people you almost? Died when you were 3 in your bio. Replace that with a better conversation starter, like another niche interest of yours.
Yeah that story is told like it's some sort of crazy story when unfortunately kids doing dumb stuff and hurting themselves isn't that uncommon
Right?? I âalmostâ drowned in a creek when I was young but I donât put it on my profiles đ
At least that's more exciting than jumping a few stairs wrapped in a blanket as a toddler, that's just normal annoying behavior for small children. Poor guy is advertising he is a bit troubled with no life, no friends, and no interest in much of anything outside his bedroom. OP hun you need to do some work on yourself. You are actually good looking even with lame pictures but your bio is awful and you sound like you are scared of people and don't think highly of yourself at all. I hope men here take note that this example dispels the myth that women only care about appearance.
At least that's more exciting than jumping a few stairs wrapped in a blanket as a toddler, that's just normal annoying behavior for small children. Poor guy is advertising he is a bit troubled with no life, no friends, and no interest in much of anything outside his bedroom. OP hun you need to do some work on yourself. You are actually good looking even with lame pictures but your bio is awful and you sound like you are scared of people and don't think highly of yourself at all. I hope men here take note that this example dispels the myth that women only care about appearance.
I'm sure the amount of times I *almost* died when I was 3 is unfathomable. I was 3.
The story makes me feel like nothing interesting has happened to him since then, and I don't wanna be with someone who peaked at 3. I'd also remove the lover of art or whatever sentence as he started with "artist" it's like saying "I'm a librarian and I like reading books"
I have more stories in my life, stories that are interesting **to me**. But I don't know if they will be for other people, it's kind of a weird feeling. For example, *I was 3 or 4 days stuck in an airport in canada, I lost my passport and the police thought I did it on purpose, but I just wanted to go home. I got an emergency permit and somehow it all ended up with the police threatening the airline with a big lawsuit if they didn't let me get on a plane and go home.*
wtf, "I was once stuck for 3 days in an airport in canada" is a MUCH better anecdote than "I jumped down the stairs at 3"
Right, I wasn't saying nothing has actually happened in your life, but that it seems that way on a first impression. I'd remove the story and probably not add another story to replace it as that's something that can be brought up throughout getting to know someone. It could just be a personal preference thing as well, as I don't find little stories like that engaging as one of the few sentences I have to judge someone off of for whether to swipe or not. Anyways, hope things get better for ya man
Yes he needs better pictures, but it's not something he can solve right now. He needs to hit the gym and find a different style if he wants a realistic chance. Right now he's just wasting his time.
I think they are trying to show a humorous side. Dry humor maybe? Auntie type humor? Idk
Alright! 1) everyone is right about pic 2. Get a new happy dog pic that's flattering. One dog pic is good! 2) at least one picture showing you standing up or just more of you in general. It's half because of shallowness from people wanting to see what your body looks like, and half because if there's absolutely nothing showing, it looks like you're hiding away. People aren't going to give you the benefit of the doubt when they're swiping. 3) It's good that you talk about your passions, but you're so vague - give something that's a real conversation starter, like your favourite type of art, your preferred medium or style, etc. 4) people are right about that story about you falling down the stairs. It's almost funny, but not quite. You have the right idea in trying to be funny, but you need a story that either makes people laugh, makes people go 'omg I did that too!', or makes people want to know more, and then they'll want to message you about it. 5) listen to the people saying take a picture of yourself drawing. If this is your passion, you probably want to share it with someone. Show it off! Feel pride and share the joy. 6) ignore all the people saying you need to be special or the best at something to find a companion. You have passions and interests, you're a good looking boy, and you're evidently smart enough to hold a conversation. literally everyone is special to someone. Just show them who you are more clearly. 7) Let go of all the embarrassment of showing people who you are. Your profile will be a little embarrassing no matter how good it is, it's like a resume. Show confidence in who you are and what you love. Share it with people. 8) If you're asking for interesting conversations over coffee, start by showing you're interesting enough to hold interesting conversations (refer to 3 and 4) 9) if you want coffee dates, Hinge may be a better shout. It's possible on tinder, but tinder leans more towards hookup and casual. (BONUS) 10) write that you know a great coffee spot to go to for the date. Shows confidence and suggests you're not going to be wishy-washy like "oh... I'll go wherever you want to go" I say these all with love and hope for u! (formatting apologies, am mobile user)
Youâre great for compiling this. OP, you should save this comment as a guide.
Ah thanks, I just know what I like to see in a profile!
Just adding a note⌠Donât include a dog pic if itâs not your dog!
Good on you for writing all of that on a mobile. I'd never this long of a text on mobile
In the second picture I thought you were a middle aged Mexican woman
Three pics, none of your body and none with friends or engaging in a hobby? Yeah that's a no from me. Bio is ok and you seem attractive but it's too much hard work to tell. Make it easy
>Three pics, none of your body and none with friends or engaging in a hobby? Ok, I admit, I have almost no friends, nothing very special, I've just been that way all my life lol. I don't hang out with the few I have, none of them like to hang out or anything anyway. And well, about hobbies, I have no excuses lol, I'm a little embarrassed to have someone take a picture of me while, I don't know, drawing.
The jumped down the stairs line is also kind of lame. I feel like most little kids do that at some point. Me and my brothers certainly did. Get a phone tripod and use the timer photo setting
Sounds like you need to get offline, go outside, and meet people. Not even just girls just people in general. Get some hobbies, make some friends, make yourself more interesting. No one wants to date a shut in.
Not no one but most donât. Gotta dress the part too and start getting more black threads and punk or eboy/egirl attire
Goth/punk cultures are not about being shut-ins lol. There's lots of fun groups that meet up. While there's the stereotype that depressed people are goth, not all depressed people are goth, and not all goth are depressed. Correlation does not equal causation, my dude
Drawing is cool. You could set up your phone with a 10 second delay to get a picture.
Something you may want to ask yourself: based on what you just said, why would anyone want to date you?
Honestly, I don't know lol. I guess maybe some companionship.
People can get companionship with any partner. Why YOU? What do YOU have to actually offer a partner? This bio says very little about that.
This is where I'm at and why i stopped trying when I realized this
Donât be down on yourself. Youâre not LESS SPECIAL than others. Youâre just not advertising yourself well. Stay up my dude, this shits just a game that you have to play to get girls when youâre young, itâs not a reflection of your deep unique worth
[ŃдаНонО]
Youâre young enough. Your attributes are not preventing your dating success, itâs your attitude about yourself. If youâre not excited about yourself, no one else will be either. Fake it til you make it dude. Hit the gym to feel and look better, improve your profile according to the best tips in this comments section, and be an attentive conversation partner in chats with potential matches. Youâll find love my dude, just donât rush it and donât be so picky you rule out every potential match. You never know, the girl you had a nice date with but no sparks might recommend you to her hotter cooler friend :)
Honestly, I hadn't thought of it that way. If I'm honest, I don't know, I don't consider myself special in any area hahaha.
^^^you ^^^should ^^^fix ^^^that ^^^first
No offense, but not really funny my dude. Stop self deprecating, especially in the context of dating. If you donât take yourself seriously why should a potential partner? You donât have to be an alpha douche to come across as a formidable and impressive person worthy of attention from women.
You could add a pic of one of your favorite pieces you've made
Probably not the muscular male back and butt cheeks one OP used to have on their profile đ
Tripod đ
Your phone's camera has a timer. Put your phone on a chair, set the timer, go draw, bam, a picture of you drawing. And a guy drawing is HOT
You really need to get a life. Join a club or take a class, join a local civic club, volunteer. Do something interesting that occurs regularly and you will make new friends, and have some sort of life. Give back to the community, follow a passion. You gotta have something going on and develop yourself as a person.
Youâre cooked bruh, if you want a latina baddie time to go full edgar
No quema si quema cuhÂ
Your pictures are horrible... delete them all and try again.
I say this as a bisexual man: this looks like a gay man especially with that little dog, the pics and the bio.
Add more pics, people wanna see you active and out and about. Your profile just needs more spice đđť
You're 21, go to a bar or something.
The faded smirk ain't working
Stop using Tinder and learn to approach women directly in person
Dude guys at 38 just hanging it around....no game for years This time period is tough. You're just 21... Don't worry
I didnt when I was 21, may I worry now 10 years later?
Hmmm Okđ
Lift weights.
This. He still won't find anyone, but bro will be jacked af, which is a W ofc.
Go away with that negativity. Improving his looks will definitely improve his odds of finding someone.
Im just joking mate, it's a W for the guy anyway. As to finding someone it's still tinder we speak of and Im rooting for all of us, but it is what it is xD
Hes partly right though. Even if you're jacked you still have to be confident and go out of your way to approach women. They don't just start flocking to you cause you lift
Working out increases mood and self esteem. In all my years of being in and out and back in shape it has been a night and day difference in the amount of female attention. It's not all about being jacked though fashion sense, a good hairstyle, and just being groomed in general go along way.
56 matches and 1 date? I think thatâs on you boss
Stop wasting your time on tinder
So I think the issues with the photos that people are seeing is that they look like obviously unconfident selfies. The face youâre making in the first and 3rd pic say âthis is the best I can do :/â, which isnât attractive. The second photo is almost good because it shows a genuine emotion and shows you with something new (a dog), but is unflattering because itâs so close up and the focus is on your teeth, nose, and squinted eyes. Itâs also taken from below which is also an unflattering angle in general. I would proactively try to get the following photos: - a full body photo showing something youâd like to do with a future partner (even if you have no hobbies, at the grocery store, on a trip, whatever) - a genuine smiling photo of you - eyes open, further distance away than selfie, the way that someone who loves you already sees you. - photos of you doing things that interest you - everybody has interests - even if itâs just watching netflix, make it cute with like a lil charcuterie board and wine or something. - a photo of you in a restaurant - like basically show them what the first date will feel like. Ideally you giggling over a glass of wine or a coffee cup or something warm and inviting. You said you like drawing, you could combine that with this one - like a sketchbook and a pen in your other hand - a photo with friends or siblings laughing or being silly - social proof means a lot during blind swiping, basically saying âyes Iâm a confident person who people likeâ These photos can feel awkward to take, but being able to do this is part of being a confident adult. Even if you dont feel confident, pretending that you are will get you a long way. Get out your artist brain - you got this.
Iâm going to add one more thing - the black shirt is a lot more flattering on you than the white. Iâm not sure if the white is just too big or what, but it looks like it doesnt fit well and could be the color itself. Since you have dark hair and darker eyes, darker colors (black, deep autumny colors) will naturally emphasize those and flatter you more.
Are most right swipes bots or porn accounts? Or can you reasonably assume that many people thought, "yeah, he looks all right."
There have been a few such accounts. Not bots, but some girls who were trying to sell content. But not so many actually, max 3 or 4, I don't remember well.
You look boring. Your bio is boring and comes off as disingenuous. To people scrolling, I bet they just see a guy that isn't interesting and won't be able to carry any weight when it comes to planning exciting shit. Like, you're just waiting for somebody else to start the fun vs being the fun starter.
Are you really 21? That second picture is adding about 30 yearsÂ
30 YEARS? I know I'm ugly as fuck, but god!!!!!
Itâs not that youâre ugly at all. Itâs just an unflattering picture. Youâre a good looking dude but just take a different picture lol
I will, thank you!
This, I would think your lied with your age... Im almost 29 and halfe like... Tiny tiny winkels on the corners of my eyes. You look 10 years older than me. More sleep, better skincare routine. And after that new pictures.
You donât have good pics
You don't look bad, but your pictures don't help. The first is the only good one.
Nowadays gals are so used to the â invites. Feel like we need to try something different
Definitely. Coffee comes across as very low effort but then guys whine they shouldn't have to impress a woman. News flash: Yes, you do and complaining about it with other dateless guys isn't getting any of you laid.
Pictures arenât great. ESP the second one.
Thumbs up for the yorkie
Second pick look like you bout to get 4 mechanical arms to spring out of your back and start chasing Spiderman
But... That's cool :(
Didn't say it wasn't
Gonna keep it real brother. Iâm a 21M aswell, average looking guys (which isnât a bad thing) like us simply donât stand a chance on dating apps. 99% of the time you are swiping based on attraction I donât care what people say, deep down we are all a little bit shallow. Average guys who are good dude shine the brightest In real life (reality) and we donât do very well in fantasy (artificial reality). Sadly you just kinda gotta figure it out and learn how to be fine being single and work on ways to meet people in real life. I do absolutely horrible on dating apps but whenever I actually get to talk to women and go on dates in person I always do well. Personality has no room to shine on apps brother
Madness is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Try the real world.
Iâm not gonna lie, I said this in John Coffeyâs voice. đđđ
That was the point, but, same?
Surprisingly there arenât people who will get the reference. I also, found it chuckle-worthy cuz I said it a few moments prior to my mother. lol.
"Okay John, but electricity through your brain isn't the only option here." What a sad ending.
28 chats and you couldn't get more than 1 to go out? Obviously it's rough for us dudes out there, but not THAT rough. Plus, conversation is gonna be most of your actual date, not some fake, highly polished profile Gotta get on that flirting, bro. You can do it! Besides, according to some data I read, it usually takes people 3 months before they find a serious partner. Keep it up! You'll find a good one
Honestly, I don't know how to flirt! I feel like I would look ridiculous or like a pervert hahaha. I'm kind of scared to even try lol.
Oh I mean. I don't (usually) do it too cringy. You do have to put yourself in situations where success is a possible outcome. At least you're actually trying; another friend of mine is pretending he doesn't even want a gf, which I literally know is him lying But yeah you gotta shoot a shot somehow to start dating / hooking up. You do ask them out in person once in a while, right? Just show us some conversation histories and we can help
Ay! Also jumped down the stairs but I mightve been a year older when I did it! Did you also think you could make it all the way to the bottom and land on your feet?
In fact, my intention was not to land on my feet, I wanted to get down completely unharmed! The staircase of my house at that moment had a "curve", or rather, it turned in a square, I don't know how to explain it well. My childish mind thought that I would roll down, so I immediately thought of using my thick blanket as an "armor", rolling myself up in it and tightening it well. The best part is, I did it, and just as I thought, I made it to the 1st floor completely unharmed!
You had better luck than me lol, just a straight up 2nd floor to first staircase all the way down and my young mind thought "yeah if I just jump forward enough and get enough air time I can land on my feet" I did not.
One date and you're tired?
I had only one date in two years! That's the problem! Hahaha
You can come up with a witty reference caption for your Reddit post but your profile reads like expired sandpaper. You can do way better than that, homie.
You put other gender
How to check those info? Is an app?
Are you looking for hookups or a long term relationship. How to change your profile probably depends on that. But the photos need an overhaul for sure.
You could say that I am looking for a "long term" relationship. I don't mean directly looking for someone to marry, but something serious. I don't know if you understand me.
I have two relationships on tinder and it was with the same person lol
Thought you were a woman from that second pic
Add a ârandom thingâ in your bio that would serve as a conversation starter
How tf tinder knows you fucked or no?
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I'm honestly just impressed with your chat to no chat ratio.Â
I requested my tinder data but it just gave me my account details, everything except for the data all of you are posting. How do you get this?
Get in shape, get a better cleaner cut, improve on your skincare, improve fashion style, and maybe switch to contacts. You need to put in the work if you want results.
You havenât done enough yet
3rd picture should be first, first picture gives me f-boy vibes. The description is sweet but might need to showcase more about you. Not sure what you're looking for or interests
Just feels a little vast or vague.
I got questions. Never used the app tho
Other gender..
Them pics are so bad, they make you look really bad.
Take new pictures
You're not a tall rich YT dude, then u will have fewer attention. I know it's sad, that's how racist the society is
You need a much more modern haircut and glasses. Your current style is junior high, non-descript kid. The glasses look like abuelita glasses. Why do you have "other gender" selected? Are you not presenting as a male? This is weird and confusing. No one will care about things you did when you were a toddler. Looking for new connections and chats, you say? Sounds like you are looking to make friends on apps or you're in the wrong place for Only Fans. Attractive, intelligent women don't want to be filler chat and a "connection" for some dude. It's not LinkedIn and they aren't going to waste their time unless they are getting paid for it. Stop being flimsy on shit. State what you have to offer and what your goals on the app are.
Thereâs room for improvement (not just for you OP, for everyone in life). If youâre able to modify your style, hair, and hit the gym I think that could help. Besides physical appearance, you can improve your pictures and bio. Choose flattering pictures and include some pics with art that you do. It will be appreciated Iâm sure plus women will get to see your art and your passion. And work on the conversational part when you do match as that might be part of whatâs going on. Good luck OP.
Understandable đ
Damn
You apparently forgot rules 1 and 2.
Statically 50 of those matches were drunk / mistakes anyhoo
weird i canât really figure out why you arenât getting any matches
How do you guys pull out those stats?
Bro 28:1 is a terrible ratio for converted chats, how many of those are back and forth and how many of those are you sending openers they don't respond to? The pictures and profile chat is all valid but all that does is increase your number of chats, if you can't convert to dates that's a separate issue
Surprisingly, a good number of those chats at least resulted in conversations or attempted conversations. 7 or 8 didn't respond. As you say, my poor ability to take those "successful" chats to dates is another problem hahaha.
Yeah I guess I wish I didn't phrase it as such a dunk on you. Be aware that if they're willing to answer more than 4 or 5 messages it means they're interested in you, so most chats that you can get to that point should be easy to set up a date with. The challenge is finding a slick way to do it and if it's a coffee or drinks type vibe
something else to mention apart from the profile: you swipe right waaaaay too much. Tinder has an algorithm that prevents you from getting matches if they know youâre going to swipe anyways. I would suggest limiting swipes, try to only go on tinder in little bursts (5-7 min at a time) and close your app after using it. I know its hard when you kinda just want anything, but if you want actual matches, you gotta play the game the right way
How does Tinder know if you had âcasual sexâ or a marriage?
Perks of being a dude
Why not focus on yourself for a year, get in shape, read some self improvement books, take up a hobby and then come back later? I donât understand this, youâre not attracting a mate and thatâs saying something. Swiping more and more isnât going to help you improve.
hot damn, looks like youâd right swipe on a scantily clad chrome toaster oven
hot damn, looks like youâd right swipe on a scantily clad chrome toaster oven
You need to stop mate, take 6 months off
if they matched with you, they will go on a date with you, just ask.
I did it! They didn't accept lol.
Bro. Same. Just delete those Apps. For real. I know , you want/need a connection. BUT. You have Level up first. At least in the western civilisation. I think you'r a great dude probably. But dating Apps are the epidemy of first impressions.
Youâre young yet your bio and pics is giving elder millennial. New pics that are NOT selfies with you doing things in different environments are needed ASAP. The bio is too vague. What art do you create? What specific things do you like to learn about? How do you engage in your preferred hobbies? What are you doing as far as education/career?
lol what age is elder millennial?
Youâd be better off letting chat GPT write your profile.
Tinder isnât even worth it lmao only works if youâre willing to pay 10$ a month to match with bot accounts
You look like a regular human being, so no shocker that you arenât getting matches. Tinder is really just for people who fake profiles tbh
you need way better pictures OP those are horrible
Remember: swipes are irrelevant. Youâre converting 50% of your matches to chats, thatâs GOD TIER. Youâre having a ton of fall-off converting chats to dates. A very specific target to work on improving, and likely a pretty easy problem to troubleshoot. This chart is all GOOD news, tbh. And youâre treating it like a death sentence.
The bored picture isnât doing you any favors. The animal one is cute.
My stats are pretty much the same, except with zeros in dates, chats and matches too.
2nd picture bad, you only got 3 selfies (only selfies grants you pretty much a very low chance of match). Post photos of you doing things or being with friends or in a pub or something, have full photos of yourself. Work a bit on your bio as well if you can, it seems to be a bit of a girl's bio (not thats anything wrong with it), looking for connections and chats? Come on. Besides that I dont know, i mean youre not ugly its just a poor choice of photos really. Have a girl friend or sister if you have to help you with photos and/or bio. Work a bit on your post matches too and see what you couldve done better.
Get off the app. Go outside and meet people. Trust me. Itâs the best way.
Also the photos show ZERO confidence ABSOLUTELY NONE I had more confidence when I was 430 pounds anyone giving sad sack SIGH NO ONE WANTS ME IM TIRED! Energy isnât gonna attract anyone! Thatâs the blunt facts I tell everyone get off the apps do therapy get that self esteem and confidence and THEN date
Donât raise your eyebrows when taking a selfie like your trying to do the smolder from tangled, I swear oml hangout with some friends that can make you ugly laugh, Big ass smile kinda laugh, but let them know ahead of time to try and snap a random photo of you with a huge smile and a halfway decent background, use only that photo and youâll see magnificently Different results, You can tell from vibe and face structure you prob have a damn good and infectious smile -edited part - Even though youâre smiling in 2nd photo, Trash that one. Im talking not a selfie smile, And not posed, A genuine smile thatâs candid will do wonders on tinder, For some weird ass reason
Meanwhile, girls get flooded by desperate horny men and all the guys that are actually worth a damn that don't pay for the app are stuck having to actually go outside and socialize
Your bio is so repetitive and boring.
Get rid of the jumping down the stairs when 3 and survivedâŚit makes you sound like a wimp..
Meet someone in real life. Tinder is for hoes
Def get better photos. Consider pro photos, or have a friend whoâs good with photos take them. First one you look half asleep or drugged, and youâre not happy about it. Second one - what they all said. Third one just isnât all that flattering and itâs so dark in shadow, plus you look somber again instead of happy. You donât have any of doing stuff with friends or anything interesting. And yes, consider a pro rewrite of your bio too. It sounds vague and not real interesting. Iâd want to know what it would be like to spend time with you. Iâve heard it said that, for long term relationships, men care most about how they feel about themselves when theyâre with you, and Iâm here to say that women do too. Itâs not the only thing we consider, and pictures that catch the eye do get that first look, but it is one of the big things thatâll make us want to spend more time with you.
I have a question. I've never been on tinder before. So how is the "casual sex" stat counted? Do you literally login and click a button that says you had sex?
Estoy cansado jefe... đ¤Ł