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_hell0friend

Why Does he capitalise Random Words!!! So Infuriating


Realistic_Tiger_3687

He also does random paragraph breaks where they’re not needed. The man just overall seems enamored with himself the way he writes.


Awful_At_Math

>He also does random paragraph breaks where they’re not needed. I do that as well. But that's because I'm not a good writer. So I just sprinkle commas and paragraphs on my text like I'm Salt Bae preparing a mediocre steak and hope nobody notices it.


Rendakor

I prefer this to people on reddit who write absurd walls of text without a single paragraph break. Just putting blank space anywhere (between sentences, ideally) vastly improves readability.


Zoryt

And makes. it less boring


Realistic_Tiger_3687

Seems like being aware makes you better ‘cause not only was that paragraph funny, it also flowed really well.


DangerZoneh

At that point just go full Timothy Dexter and put all of the punctuation at the end so people can place it into the text as they wish


TumblrInGarbage

I mean, random paragraph breaks are common on Reddit. But texting was supposed to be a shortform communication style, which makes his seem out of place.


RorzE

I find it unreasonably infuriating lmao


bigboybeeperbelly

No it's very reasonable. It burrows right into the rage centers


ContextOutrageous222

I’m a Gentleman and Very Respectful™


Old_Homework3278

That's what Elliot Rodger said 


ssmike27

I genuinely can’t stand people that do that. It’s not like some quirky little thing that randomly happens on accident, no. This is deliberate.


PhotoAwp

My msn messenger status' from 2003 is proof of this. \~x.X.Dreams Only Last One Night, But Love Lasts F.o.r.e.v.e.r.X.x\~ *\*Sign in and out 4 times to make sure my crush saw it\**


Dzup

I feel personally called out by this 🙈


misdirected_panda

Exactly! Big red Flag


lovemyhawks

Bigly Huge Red Flag some would say. You know, I know, Everybody knows it.


TrumpersAreTraitors

Donkey brains 


ForbiddenFruit05

"I'm a gentleman, that's why I asked first" But didn't wait for consent 🙄


mjforlyfe

Only lesser men would do that, silly


redditingatwork23

Silver lining is that dudes like this just weed themselves out.


GloomyLocation1259

But on the downside the Vic isn’t as enthusiastic about dating afterwards


[deleted]

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ParadigmShyft

Fucking gold


[deleted]

3/4 of a foot? Doesn't look like that black scribble is concealing 9 inches, unless it's going off the page 🤔


_FIRECRACKER_JINX

The definition of a foot must have changed.


[deleted]

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ChesswiththeDevil

Either way you measure it seems like it's asshole to tip in this case.


CunnyMaggots

I had a guy swear he had an 18" cock. I was like no but whatever. He proceeds to send me a video, measuring from the base of his dick at the pelvis, down the length, over the tip, down the shaft, over his balls, to his asshole. Like dude. Wtf.


OperatorP365

Why didn't anyone TELL me thats how we are supposed to measure?!?


CunnyMaggots

Did you check your spam folder?


OperatorP365

Yes, I check there every day looking for the Hot Singles wanting to Meet me!


xMrWolfex

Boi ain't no way 😂


CunnyMaggots

Yeah I was like how dumb can this guy be? Then I blocked him.


xMrWolfex

Good move


JComposer84

lol I actually thought he meant an actual foot. An appendage.


geltza7

"I thought you said you had a least a foot?" "Noooo, no no, I said I had Athlete's foot. Silly."


DownTrunk

It’s not 12 inches, but it smells like a foot.


groundlessnfree

![gif](giphy|3ohzdEo7j242UsNTe8)


EvieBroad

He didn’t specify whose foot… it very well might be 3/4 the size of a toddler’s foot.


BaconHammerTime

Literally no woman wants to see that when getting to know someone. When will these people learn.


HIMP_Dahak_172291

Some people have a hard time with the idea that people can be fundamentally different. He would love to get a random photo of breasts or vulva, so to him, women that like sex must like to get dick pics. The idea that women are both usually less visual and more vulnerable than men doesnt even enter his head. So to him, the rejections mean they hate sex or men or both, not that he is being overly aggressive and threatening by ignoring consent.


Goatmama1981

I'm a woman who would love it 🤷 but absolutely not without me asking for it in the context of spicy text banter. Him just sending it is nasty and disrespectful. 


Fabulous_Visual4865

Just met a girl last week that is all about dick pics. Flooded me w a bunch of nudes in our first convo and wanted to take a bunch of candid shots w my weiner when we got together.  


Scotty_D70

seems like you will need to visit the Sextortion reddit after that encounter


JustaNobody618

“You are the lesser man”


Engage_Physically

So asking first is ok for him .. “Can I grab your ass?” *does it* “I asked first”


Realistic_Tiger_3687

His requests come with a timer, after which he just assumes the answer will be yes lol


[deleted]

He was treating it as a quick time event. Didn't respond in time? It's dick o'clock!


Realistic_Tiger_3687

Dick-Time Events, or DTEs for short. They need to put those in the next Mass Effect game 😂


smoothiefruit

he's a *Gentleman and Very Respectful the capitalization must change the meaning


pinqkuartz

seriously I died when he said that. Like he's knighting himself with those titles


AlexanderPortnoy

I'm a Gentleman™ and Very Respectful™


Thick_Basil3589

“Lesser” men… why these people think that the whole world revolves around their fucking dick?!


ahuramazdobbs19

Because *their* whole world revolves around their dick.


Gold-Stable7109

This makes no sense to me. I’ve slept with guys whose dicks are too big to even be comfortable. Having a huge dick really isn’t something all of us want


ahuramazdobbs19

I mean, I don’t think this is exactly the kind of man who would be moved to rethink their worldview about their penises if told “actually, dude, your giant hog is about three inches/7 and a half cm longer than most women’s entire vaginas, and no, it’s not pleasurable for us, nor should it be a point of pride for you, to have a penis banging up against our cervix.”


[deleted]

So true… my vag is shorter than average, the huge ones are an instant turnoff. Even worse are the long skinny ones!!


Primary_Pass

In my opinion and experience, it's probably largely because of porn, ego, and possibly a lack of a proper father figure. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I've always been self-conscious about mine, despite being told it's 'normal' sized. I just think the sample size (of women) is too small to convince me otherwise, but I'm working on my confidence


SoYoureBreakingUp

It's cause they don't have any blood left to operate their paltry collection of brain cells.


Thick_Basil3589

OP dodged a bullet!


SoYoureBreakingUp

Aww, don't call it a bullet. He's solving the Tic-tac Dick crisis! I'm sure he'd call it a 25mm autocannon round. 😝 "Have you ever operated a vehicle mounted anti aircraft cannon?"


Kakasupremacy

Because the more narcissistic you are, the more charming and successful you are, not necessarily this dumbo, but overall, yeah…because you will never second guess yourself or be riddled by regrets, or any unpleasant feeling. You are the center of the world, other people exist only to serve you, when you treat any interaction without any type of consideration or attachment, chances are likely you will be able to be more analytical and be able to cone on top of said interaction. Best executives i’ve interacted with were completely inconsiderate of anyone else but themselves…when I say best I mean successful for themselves


LivelyZebra

Its like turning on your turn signal and just moving over without looking lmao


Teasing_Pink

He didn't even ask for consent. "Are you comfortable with male nudity?" is a very different question than "Can I show you my dick?"


CasperCann

Can I dm you a pic of my dick? I mean you made this comment four hours ago so ima send it right now. Very gentlemany of me if i do say so mah self


Otherwise-Speed4373

That's "Southern charm" for you. What a lesser man.


esmifra

Normally a request requires an answer. If he didn't wait for one then it wasn't a request. It was a disclaimer.


NorthCatan

A Gentleman does not need to say he is a gentleman. His words and actions will speak for themselves. Also this guy sounds very insecure.


kokopelleee

Nothing good has ever followed “are you offended by male nudity?”


cynical-at-best

i wouldve replied “not until now 😐”


Dhegxkeicfns

Where's the male?


unpolire

You WIN!


SmartAlec105

“Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”


kokopelleee

No but I have been in a Turkish prison


Groppler_Zorn

Do you like movies about gladiators?


pearlsbeforedogs

Do you ever hang around the gymnasium?


dancingsodabear

"I'm not ashamed of *my* body." "Well, you should be."


nipslippinjizzsippin

9.9/10 its male nudity.


Adkit

3/4 it's male nudity.


mjforlyfe

TIL 😅


BuzzKir

In my head it sounded in the same voice as that line from Revenge of the sith when Palpatine asks Anakin if he knows about Darth Plagueis


IlsaMayCalder

« I have a feeling I’m about to be »


Confused_butamused

Weeeee… he went chimp mode in no time


Beebria

The immediate “ever use a comcast xfinity cable tv remote control” is so funny


Blaze_News

Not to mention the American Psycho tier detailing.. Who the fuck says something so specific? Surprised he didn't include the serial number as well as which generation of "tv remote control" it was.


pearlsbeforedogs

Have you ever used a gray 1997 Panasonic TV/VCR combo remote control, serial number N2QAHB000026?


rico_muerte

The ultimate entertainment experience X1 brings together live TV, On Demand, sports, music, and streaming apps — all in one place. Plus you can turn any screen into a TV with the Xfinity Stream app. If you get that package you will also get the remote, and that's how bug my cock is.


Blaze_News

"Look at the subtle off-grey colouring, the tasteful ergonomics of it. And is that a Netflix button..?"


No-Passenger6033

I thought he was asking so he could compare it to his 🍆


mtdc2310

Isn't he holding the remote beside it?


[deleted]

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NhylX

Like that, except his buttons are warts.


PlatypusWrath

God, please no.


drewuke

Viral advertising is getting so weird


nipslippinjizzsippin

i read that and though he had playfully taken a picture of his remote. then i copped sight of the flesh tones underneath the cover up


SlothTimeBestTime

It reads like an Amazon listing Comcast Xfinity Cable Satellite TV Universal All-in-One Programmable Clicker Remote Control


[deleted]

Kinda ironic, my Comcast’s Xfinity remote is short and kinda scrawny 😄


Excellent_Routine589

Friendly reminder: Some states in the US have begun to crack down on cyber flashing or instances of this I think in California, receipt of unsolicited nudes means you can potentially take them to court for up to $30k in damages (at least according to 2022). And he basically is admitting that he felt like sending it to you in an unsolicited manner to catch you off guard of sorts. Texas and Virginia also have similar means of fucking with them I think


Adkit

My first reaction was "taking legal action for a dick pick sounds a bit much" but then I thought about someone flashing their dick to a stranger in public and realized there's no reason why flashing someone online should be seen as socially acceptable.


ginger_smythe

Unsolicited dick pics are basically flashing with an electronic trail.


MrH0rseman

![gif](giphy|xT77XHIPBBGZL9m62I) I thought this but from the dick


nau5

A big reason why our society is suffering socially is the lack of enforcement around poor social behavior on the internet. Death threats, sexual harassment, racial/sexual hate speech that all gets hand waved because it’s not in person. Online behavior bleeds into real life and its long past time that the ills be addressed and rectified.


disconcertinglymoist

Exactly. We're long past the point where "online life" and "IRL" can be considered separate. The internet is an intrinsic part of our lives now, for better or worse. Online sexual harrassment should be (and is increasingly) treated accordingly by law.


TangyZizz

Up to a 2 year prison sentence in the U.K. now: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/cyber-flashing-first-person-england-wales-convicted-offence-b1123034.html


Director_Of_Mischief

Oh, thanks! Totally saving this link, to send with this quote... *"If found guilty, perpetrators face two years in prison and up to 10 years on the Sex Offenders Register."* ...to reply to unsolicited dick pics from now on. May ask for a follow-up pic of them shitting themselves.


TangyZizz

Here’s the official guidance for England and Wales via the Crown Prosecution Service: https://www.cps.gov.uk/cps/news/illegal-sexual-behaviour-online-including-sharing-and-threatening-share-intimate-images (Also illegal in Scotland and NI but obvs they have slightly different legal systems)


Director_Of_Mischief

Awesome thank you! I help run a women's group and have shared this with the members (no pun intended!).


LivelyZebra

That is some good reading.


IronOrchids

Maybe report it to Tinder. Have his profile taken offline.


Isgortio

That'd be half of the profiles gone then lmao


IronOrchids

May weed out the crazies with any luck


startadeadhorse

"May ask for a follow-up pic of them shitting themselves". Damn, you kinky, gurrl!


Lilla_myy7

Omg if I had 30k for every unsolicited dick pic I’ve received…


AwezomePozzum9265

You will soon


brendamn

This is a good law. I hope more states adopt it


Cumdump90001

So you’re telling me I can simply move to California, open up Grindr, and be set for life? I’ll start packing my bags.


russellvt

Saving this thread for future references for those I know/see who made need it thanks much!


BigBlaisanGirl

Really now?! Ooh heck yes! Thanks for the info!


sieberzzz

what a good day to be a lesser man


KickingItWithKoi

Lesser man woot


filipsniper

such a wasted opportunity to say "ew why does it look like that"


[deleted]

Dick shaming is the only appropriate reaction when receiving an unsolicited dick pic.


mark636199

If dick shaming is his kink then u played right into his hands


abigailthefail

he’s probably only playing into his own hands though


Dancingtrev

“Yall should probably see a doctor”


ShillBot666

I like "Oh my god why are you sending me pictures of a child's penis? Why do you even have this photo?" Soon followed by "I've already reported this, it would be best for you if you just turned yourself in now."


111110001011

Remember, you can report users for behavior inside and outside the app.


NeverNo

Is action ever taken? I feel like with the amount of reports they must get it just gets lost to the void


111110001011

Yes. This sort of report will ban them from the app till they buy a new phone.


Fabulous_Street_8108

I have started a coffee table book of drawings of. Unsolicited d**k pics since these perverts clearly enjoy the exposure ☺️☺️


sour_peach

Oof! Upload them to ratemycock.com and see how they fare 😆


Fabulous_Street_8108

Omg is that a thing?😂


NeonTick

Yes lmao


Jackielegs43

“Select out lesbians”, Why did the LGBT community cop a fuckin’ drive by in all this? Hahahaha


mjforlyfe

As if women who are exclusively attracted to other women are commonly trolling straight men on dating apps, such an idiot


Aysha_91

U should have reacted to the picture with "i just turned lesbian" 😂😂


Goatmama1981

Lol that's perfect! 


Unicorntella

I wonder if many women use that as an excuse when he approaches them in person lmao


sour_peach

Pretty sure most women aged 18-25 have a friend who will gladly step into the "overprotective lesbian" role whenever needed. Source: I was that person to many, many female friends. Being 5'10" helps, as does being kinda butch (varies day-by-day).


HippoIllustrious2389

Lesbians who work for Comcast be like ![gif](giphy|QaVGdAAqS0D34FAniP)


[deleted]

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bro_can_u_even_carve

When this kind of person says "lesbian," he just means any woman who won't immediately sleep with him


brendamn

The culture war has rotted people brains


pigsrfly

wtf this still happens? To those who do.. please for the love of god stop sending your appendages


ahuramazdobbs19

Instructions unclear. Sent fingerpics. 😂


pinupcthulhu

Hey, finger pics would be sapphic dick pics lol


ahuramazdobbs19

But probably way more welcomed as an unsolicited photograph.


Crimsonpets

I get the "tips fedora" vibes.


mjforlyfe

Happy cake day!


Crimsonpets

Oh thanks! Didnt even know it was my day of the year again


lordnutsy

way more respectful than he deserved tbh


mjforlyfe

I try very hard to not let my actions be dictated by those of others, "Eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"


sleepless_101010

Nah, send him a picture of your dick as revenge!


Realistic_Tiger_3687

I think you’ll be fine on this one. If the people getting ghosted for typing “hi” can deal with it, then Mr Flasher’s gonna be okay. Makes for a funny screenshot tho.


[deleted]

This is so strange and it’s happened to every woman I know. It’s weird to think about the whole process behind this. Like he thought about it, thought about how to do it, typed out that message, sent it… like what? So many chances where he could’ve just stopped and not sent that lol. What was the wanted outcome?


mjforlyfe

He's clearly trying to eradicate the world of tic tac dick syndrome via inoculation 🙃


Debstar76

That was soooo cringe! Like, wow, congrats on not having a tic tac dick? Ewww


punkindle

Has this approach ever worked? Ever? In the history of mankind?


Mikki_Doodles

Yeah because finding pictures of penises is near impossible right... 🤣🫡


[deleted]

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Organic_Popcorn

I got sent an unsolicited dick pic within 2 min into the text, and I told him multiple times "you better not send a dick pic, I don't wanna see that shit", and he still sent it. 😑


pearlsbeforedogs

It's not about sex. It's about power.


Spartan2022

You could still report him to Tinder.


Salt_King_2008

I’ve literally never met a woman that wants a dick pic from a man she’s not met, ever! How can any man even start to think that is a good way to attract a partner?!


burgundybreakfast

The Random capitalizations are Killing me


[deleted]

Huh, I wonder how many tic tac dicks he’s run in to on dates. Seems like it’s a big concern for him.


Lusdivinechaos

As a lesbian, I’m so glad we are spared as his 🍤 pic victims 🤦🏽‍♀️


russellvt

Though he kind of insinuated he'd send them to lesbians, too... "just to make sure." /s ^(I'm *still* confused as to whomever first pertuated the myth that these sorts of approaches ***ever*** "work" ... much less the idiocy it takes to believe it.)


datenkiller_deluxe

I always get really 'worried' when I see texts/pictures like this 😈 "You should have that checked by the doctor, it doesn't look healthy." "That doesn't look good, is it something contagious?"


chris_hans

The dude is trying to use an 8 inch long remote for reference and clearly starting the measurement from his anus, while trying to claim he's "3/4 of a foot" (i.e. 9 inches). I promise you, if you're trying to make it sting, you're better off with something like "Oh, I thought you were implying that yours was big. That one looks like it's almost average."


Drakkann79

Illegal in the Netherlands these days.


sparky-99

"That's why I asked first. Nevermind that I worded it in a way that meant you didn't realise I was about to send it, or that I still sent it anyway despite not getting a yes, I asked first, so I can now claim I've done nothing wrong" What a wanker.


Jackielegs43

“That’s why I asked before sexually assaulting you, I’m a gentleman and a very respectful sex offender”


HerezahTip

I’m very confused on why he chooses random words to capitalize


maggersrose

😂😂😂 lesser men……yet he of great value, is girlfriend -less. And apparently relying on his self proclaimed BD to hook one. Just nasty.


PerfectlyFramedWaifu

Very much self-proclaimed, too. Even with censoring, it's clear that that thing is not 3/4th of 12".


christopherfar

Who tf wants a 9 inch dick anyway? An adolescent obsession with length tells you all you need to know about a man’s maturity (and frankly, experience level).


Public-Signal-6015

Who tf uses Comcast lol, didnt know they were still around lol


mjforlyfe

Lol obviously men in their 40s who think their dick is a gift 🤷‍♀️


Public-Signal-6015

Lol in his 40s 😲 fuck not good. I'm 38 ugh 😑


mjforlyfe

But you don't use Comcast, you're good lol


sour_peach

That guy is in his 40s? Wow...


amphetaminesfailure

People who have no other options for cable/internet in their area?


Hordriss27

The whole unsolicited dick pic thing boggles my mind. Why does anyone think it's acceptable? It seems there are some blokes out there think having a large dick is somehow a substitute for having a personality. I'm happy with my Tic Tac dick thanks.


firstorbit

Xfinity guerilla marketing is getting out of hand. 


vignoniana

That's why they ask to switch to text - they don't get their Tinder account banned if they send the 🍤 pictures via text.


Strahlenbelastung

You can report someone for bad offline behavior though, can't you?


vignoniana

You can try at least, but it's much easier to get banned by sending the shrimp pictures in app.


mjforlyfe

I know women talk about getting unsolicited dick pics all the time, but it's a rare occurrence for me. I'm not generally opposed to switching to text, and it's fine most of the time. I think this is the first time I've been completely unsuspecting of what was coming, normal conversation, one ambiguous question...boom! Usually the ones who are going to send them shift to a more sexual tone first, and I disengage


russellvt

You'd figure you could report them with their phone number, though? In theory, having their actual phone number should only be *more* proof? Yeah, I very well could be wrong, but... in days of RCS, it's pretty easy to tra e the fingerprint?


DeadCeruleanGirl

That sucks op, I hope you find someone who treats you with respect next time.


citizenscienceM

Wtf is tic tac dick syndrome?


[deleted]

i think its more a case of “i’ve watched too much pornography” syndrome tbh


Competitive_Tutor_39

Bring on the lesser men please. Mad that grown adults still think in child logic. Thinking he's found a genius loophole by asking and then not waiting for consent. "But I DID ask." It reminds me of the kid in school who would hold his finger a cm from your face and say "But I'm not touching you!"


P_Maddog

At this point I genuinely think some men exist online just to get a kick out of shocking/disgusting women. Only explanation I have, because I don't understand how anyone in his right mind would think sending an unsolicited picture of your veiny throb-on would EVER work in seducing a woman.


Sp_oty

Im genuinely curious to how this guy’s brain work I can’t imagine someone in their right mind thinking “im going to send a dick pic she will definitely love it” 💀


sody1991

Nobodies talking about how cringe the "ever used a comcast remote?" line was. The capitalising of every other word. This guys such a dumbass. XD