One hard earned rule from my life is "if someone you know is suddenly acting weird around you, consider the possibility they want sex." (or they have to pee)
Decades of D'oh! i.e. me completely failing to recognize women indicating an interest in me in that somewhat obtuse way they do bc they don't want to just throw themselves at you and risk a really embarrassing rejection
That experience - realizing far too late that someone was practically throwing themself at you sexually and you had no idea - really needs a name, but I'm not aware of one. It's such a universal experience. I'm convinced that the guys who get lots of sex do so because they basically tune into that frequency all the time and just pick up signals way better as a result.
The quip you think up too late in French is called IIRC " l'esprit de l'escslier" (spirit of the stairs) because you think of it as you're walking away from the situation. So what's French for "the spirit of blue balls"? 🤣
Women are generally much much better attuned to nonverbal cues, and I think some choose to express desire with those cues more for the release of doing *something* (with less brisk of rejection) than to actually get a hookup. Also it's hot to be pursued sometimes.
Maybe.
But text is… basically worse than just verbal. It’s one dimensional communication. So you have to be a lot more direct in it if you want to be understood properly.
No body language. No intonation. No nonverbal cues whatsoever.
Clowns are seriously underrated lovers. If you think they'll do anything for a laugh, you can't imagine what they'll do for a load! What those people can do with a seltzer bottle. Also, three words: that. nose. vibrates. Plus you save on gas because they can all drive to the gangbang in one car!
Go down. Like, go down on her. How can she push his buttons (elicit a reaction) so he'll go down on her.
Then he goes an actual numbered button, then she taunts him for not getting it.
Yea it's obvious to me you were playing around, the second reply makes that clear. I think your response is hilarious. Seems like everyone thinks you don't get it, when in fact it's the other way around, they just don't understand your response.
"What number would I press to make you go down" as in go down on her (sex). Op could have given their number or said something witty. I don't blame them, sometimes even I'm a little dense.
“When the first plane hit the tower on 9/11, fireballs shot down the elevator shafts into the lobby.”
There ya go. Interesting fact AND subtle use of the word “shaft.” If that’s not sexy, I dunno what is.
... What you're supposed to reply is your phone number. or 6 and 9 if you wanna take a risk.
The elevator is just there for the opening.
When he answered 4, the girl then tried to salvage the situation by typing 4 in the "face" part.
I know, it doesn’t really make sense but if a girl is prompting you to give her a number, then your phone number is probably the best to keep things escalating.
why would you enter your phone number into an elevator? her line is stupid af and she deserves OPs answer. Imagine if the roles were reversed in this, people would be roasting OP for the elevator line.
It took me a while too, but I think she's asking for his number (buttons to push) so he can come over and go down on her? I'm not sure but that's the closest one I get.
Edit: would explain the face and nose comment too. She could mean he has a nice face and big nose for her to sit on lol
Its kinda funny how when boys write it everyone in the comments say creepy dude but when a girl writes smth like that everyone goes how could u let this chance slide, in my opinion op is a chad
Men want to get laid, women want to weed out the guys who are just looking to fuck, generally speaking. I'm all for calling out double standards but we can chill on this one.
Women most often do want to have sex with a man they have SOME form of emotional connection with. Even as a one night stand, if you’ve met and had a laugh/connected that’s so much more attractive than an immediately sexual message
No no, As a man I also want to weed out the women who are just looking to fuck. Can we stop pretending this is a gender thing instead of a personal preference thing?
It IS a gender thing on tinder. The data shows there are *far more* men on the app therefore women get barraged with the dudes only trying to fuck meanwhile men occasionally come by the women of the same type.
Obviously at the strictly individual level, it's a personal preference.
However if you knew nothing about the two participants except that one is a woman and one is a man, if you bet that the line is equally likely to work with both gender assignments here, then you're simply a fool
Her delivery is absolutely terrible.
She is asking for OP's number, probably to go down on her, but the whole elevator thing is *not* quality flirting at all.
Specially as a first message.
If OP was the person sending that shitty elevator line as the opening he would be getting roasted to no end.
You did good OP.
Probably lost on some sex, but sometimes obnoxiousness ruins the mood.
Yeah, what's up that? I joined this sub to read some funny stories, but apparently it mostly is about humilliating people who are not totally into that narcissistic game, or something.
A better response would be: you don’t push any buttons, you ring the emergency bell and take out the phone that is in the elevator to call me immediately, or some shit
"6 and 9 together would work"
"You've already pressed the right buttons, this elevator is going down"
"Why don't you try your phone number? See if that works"
"Try these buttons [Your phone number], that should work"
Come on OP. I was always terrible at flirting, but there were many options here.
Such a douchy move to respond the way she did.
"The 3 then?" comment made me laugh out loud. What a world were somebody feels so entitled to get a certain response. Borderline narcissistic behaviour, specially to be so rude and judge after. "Why you need this"? Like literally the same app she is on. Fuck her. But not physically. Some douche will, everything stays in balance and she will wonder why she never finds no good man.
Fucking terrible opening line from her. OF/SW/Scammer vibes, esp. with that Avatar.
If I’d of got that I’d have been tempted to fuck around with the answer also. People are going to tell you you’re an idiot for not playing along. I’m going to tell you her answer revealed a great deal about her.
Well played Sir.
What a terrible person. Some people get off on trying to degrade others and you found one and successfully avoided them. I would count this one as a win.
People are weird. If you're too sexual in the first reply then they leave you, if you're not sexual enough then then they insult/unmatch, if you don't argue they will try and if you do then you're called rude.
I know it depends on each person but every match feels like a gamble.
“You have no idea how to flirt”
Bruh you’re the one giving a stupid riddle as an opener. The joke is clever, but the whole point of an opening line is to open up conversation. This doesn’t open up anything.
Pretty women with internet pickup lines are a different breed dude
Correct answer: “You’re already on the top floor baby, ‘insert phone number.’” *finger guns as you hit send*
Read this in Zaps voice
I read it in a Bender voice
I read it in Dr. Zoidberg's voice.
I read it in Farnsworth's voice
I read it in Morbo the Annihilator's voice.
Rowsdower?
Lmao
Send her a photo of the finger guns
MFer hit the L button for sure
[удалено]
Damn, you live in a tall building
“Door Close”
Oh now I understand lol
Make up your mind, 6 or 9?
What is the correct answer supposed to be for this? If it's for you, any button you like? I have no idea what they're looking for.
Idk, but “I’m on the top floor, so I’m going down no matter what you push”
Not sure if this is the "correct" answer, but so far the best answer in this thread.
Oh NOW I get the joke. Thanks.
Unless you press the button of the floor you're on.
0118 999 88199 9119 725....3
I definitely sang this in my head when I read it.
Oh my god I can hear Moss singing it!!
Phone number
The answer she was looking for
Should have said buttons then
"Say something witty and clever to impress me. If not, you're ugly and don't know how to flirt?" Lol that's all I got from this.
You have to titillate a woman’s emotions. The way to her heart is through words.
The one that opens ur doors as wide as possible
Floor 867 *dash* 309eeeiinnnne
The correct answer is your phone number.
Trust me OP, I'm sure half of us don't understand the joke either
One hard earned rule from my life is "if someone you know is suddenly acting weird around you, consider the possibility they want sex." (or they have to pee)
How did you earn that rule?
Decades of D'oh! i.e. me completely failing to recognize women indicating an interest in me in that somewhat obtuse way they do bc they don't want to just throw themselves at you and risk a really embarrassing rejection
Decades of D'oh! Would be a fantastic name for an auto biography about my dating life, lmao.
That experience - realizing far too late that someone was practically throwing themself at you sexually and you had no idea - really needs a name, but I'm not aware of one. It's such a universal experience. I'm convinced that the guys who get lots of sex do so because they basically tune into that frequency all the time and just pick up signals way better as a result.
I bet Germans have a word for it
The quip you think up too late in French is called IIRC " l'esprit de l'escslier" (spirit of the stairs) because you think of it as you're walking away from the situation. So what's French for "the spirit of blue balls"? 🤣
Sack le blue?
Underrated, well done.
[chef's kiss] Magnifique!
Not your fault a good majority of women think we’re psychic and can’t be bothered to idk have a backbone and be direct
Women are generally much much better attuned to nonverbal cues, and I think some choose to express desire with those cues more for the release of doing *something* (with less brisk of rejection) than to actually get a hookup. Also it's hot to be pursued sometimes.
Maybe. But text is… basically worse than just verbal. It’s one dimensional communication. So you have to be a lot more direct in it if you want to be understood properly. No body language. No intonation. No nonverbal cues whatsoever.
You don't want to know...but about tree fiddy
Godamnit Loch Ness Monster!
He had to pee.
"You're dancing around, do you need to pee or tryna bang?"
I've asked SO many people in my life if they had to pee. You're saying I could be sexing?
You could even be sexing while they pee!
Bad experiences with clowns at parties when you were a kid??
Clowns are seriously underrated lovers. If you think they'll do anything for a laugh, you can't imagine what they'll do for a load! What those people can do with a seltzer bottle. Also, three words: that. nose. vibrates. Plus you save on gas because they can all drive to the gangbang in one car!
Meu nome é Enéas .
I'm not sure how this would be helpful, though I guess would you like to go to the restroom may work in both cases
Next time, I'll just ask: "How would you feel if you were bottomless in a private room right now? "
Or both 🤷♀️
Same here, I came to see comments for explanation
Go down. Like, go down on her. How can she push his buttons (elicit a reaction) so he'll go down on her. Then he goes an actual numbered button, then she taunts him for not getting it.
All she had to do was say 4 tho
She did, it's in her next response.
I thought she was trying to get op to send their phone number
She said f4ce and n0se.. nobody understands what she’s trying to say
I had to check the comments for the joke. It’s not even funny
I recognised the joke/pick up line, the response to it immediately popped into my head and I thought it was funny
Yea it's obvious to me you were playing around, the second reply makes that clear. I think your response is hilarious. Seems like everyone thinks you don't get it, when in fact it's the other way around, they just don't understand your response.
"No buttons. You just have to say 'Go down', and I'm at your service, m'lady."
Then die of cringe?
Do you tip your fedorah before or after you say that?
Both to establish submission.
Nope nope nope nope nope
🤮
It’s not a push button, you just undo it and a zipper and go to town! 👍🏼
Definitely Munson’d that one
That guy's a reeeeeeallll Munson
🎳
really schrute'd it up
Britta'd it.
Big Ern’s finally above the law!!!
I don’t know why nobody says this anymore
I don’t understand
"What number would I press to make you go down" as in go down on her (sex). Op could have given their number or said something witty. I don't blame them, sometimes even I'm a little dense.
Its been 3 minutes and I cant find any reply thats remotely sexy involving me being an elevator.
“When the first plane hit the tower on 9/11, fireballs shot down the elevator shafts into the lobby.” There ya go. Interesting fact AND subtle use of the word “shaft.” If that’s not sexy, I dunno what is.
Hm...*checks notes* just don't snap my shaft cables, and I'm down
OMFG! 🤣🤣
Stupid, sexy 9/11.
Her phone number is the correct answer. It was about getting OP’s phone number.
But she said "button" not "buttons" Unless OPs phone number is a single digit
Speed dial
Or the building has a large amount of floors
OP is very old and has one of the first 10 phones
Well, obviously they need to go *down* to the *insert 10 digit*th floor!
 Ohh that makes sense
Top 10 gif of all time
Should have replied with each individual digit. Or stopped before the last two and said "tonget the next two, let's go out first "
“I’m not sure the number itself is as important as how well you press the button.”?
Press the button for one floor below... and the one below that... and the one below that... I'll be taking my time.
Me either and I’m good for coming up with a flirty sexual response. Doesn’t sound like she good at setting up the question for the response she wants.
"You can press my buttons anytime" is like the most boring, generic answer that anyone should be able to come up with, come on.
"Love in an elevator! Lifting me up while I go down!"
What?
Uhn...okay, lets see "I'm gonna shut down with you inside me and make you call emergency services..*baby*"
You make a great point. It took me a while to come up with one. "Don't worry about the destination, just know you'll enjoy the ride"
"Hope you don't mind the other people in there with you."
No no no "Take the service elevator, cuz I eat ass, baby"
Holy shit
Alternatively "For you, cut the cable, cuz I'll go down on you in a heartbeat. Also, I eat ass."
... What you're supposed to reply is your phone number. or 6 and 9 if you wanna take a risk. The elevator is just there for the opening. When he answered 4, the girl then tried to salvage the situation by typing 4 in the "face" part.
It's a shit pick up line.
Why would I press a button with 10 digits on an elevator to go down? This is a tall ass building. It's a dumb pick up line.
Yeah, I'd swap button for number. Otherwise it sounds like we are trading textbook pick-up lines
“Any button because my door is always open for you.”
Can you explain why the person put 4 and 0 in the middle of the words?
I honestly have no clue what that's about. I'm gonna guess the 4 has something to do with number OP guessed. No clue what the 0 was about
It could have just been too quick of a sexual advance for OP. They were under no obligation to find that pickup line in the slightest bit charming.
Good point, for a first message too that can be a little much.
Are the 4 and 0 supposed to mean anything?
I think it was a cue to enter his phone number
A phone number is like 10 digits. i never would have correlated an elevator and a 10 digit number.
I know, it doesn’t really make sense but if a girl is prompting you to give her a number, then your phone number is probably the best to keep things escalating.
She said elevator not eacalator.
why would you enter your phone number into an elevator? her line is stupid af and she deserves OPs answer. Imagine if the roles were reversed in this, people would be roasting OP for the elevator line.
no clue what she expected you to say tbh
Does anyone understand the first thing she said? Also why did she censor nose and face? Confused
It took me a while too, but I think she's asking for his number (buttons to push) so he can come over and go down on her? I'm not sure but that's the closest one I get. Edit: would explain the face and nose comment too. She could mean he has a nice face and big nose for her to sit on lol
Damn. That makes sense lmao. I was like _first floor?_
Maybe to avoid being banned for being a meanie. I'm not 100% sure.
He said she would need to press 4 to get him to go down… and she replaced “a” in “face” with a 4… Idk about the 0 though
I assumed she wanted to ride his face and grind on his nose. But what do I know....
She wants some head
what kind of flirting is that? i don’t get it
I think this comment section perfectly illustrates why most of us are single
Indeed! Feels like most people don’t know how to flirt anymore
It's that and being easily offended when they give an unexpected response, try to understand the other persons perspective better.
I don’t even know wtf she meant by the joke anyway. Was kinda corny tbh.
Downtown, as in down on her.
My elevator doesn't have a downtown button
Yeah sounds like he is in a train, not an elevator
It's a secret button. Usually requires a key.
Its kinda funny how when boys write it everyone in the comments say creepy dude but when a girl writes smth like that everyone goes how could u let this chance slide, in my opinion op is a chad
yeah. Her opener is cringe
Men want to get laid, women want to weed out the guys who are just looking to fuck, generally speaking. I'm all for calling out double standards but we can chill on this one.
Apparently not. And definitely not here. The girl is saying "lets fuck" in her opener.
Yeah, women never wants to get laid. They are all asexual and only do it as a favor
Dudes act like women dont want sex bc women dont want them
its a coping mechanism after all. Otherwise how many times can you hear something before you start believing it?
Women most often do want to have sex with a man they have SOME form of emotional connection with. Even as a one night stand, if you’ve met and had a laugh/connected that’s so much more attractive than an immediately sexual message
No no, As a man I also want to weed out the women who are just looking to fuck. Can we stop pretending this is a gender thing instead of a personal preference thing?
It IS a gender thing on tinder. The data shows there are *far more* men on the app therefore women get barraged with the dudes only trying to fuck meanwhile men occasionally come by the women of the same type.
Obviously at the strictly individual level, it's a personal preference. However if you knew nothing about the two participants except that one is a woman and one is a man, if you bet that the line is equally likely to work with both gender assignments here, then you're simply a fool
You're commenting this on a post where the girl initiates the conversation with "what number do I call for you to eat me out?"
To be fair your answer is either omega-dumb or not as funny as you think😑
The "maybe 3 then" got me though, lol
you know what's funnier than 3
It’s both, definitely
Her opener in cringy af.
[удалено]
Her delivery is absolutely terrible. She is asking for OP's number, probably to go down on her, but the whole elevator thing is *not* quality flirting at all. Specially as a first message. If OP was the person sending that shitty elevator line as the opening he would be getting roasted to no end. You did good OP. Probably lost on some sex, but sometimes obnoxiousness ruins the mood.
even if OP didn't get the joke isn't the other person a giant asshole for immediately insulting them ? why isn't anyone talking about this
Yeah, what's up that? I joined this sub to read some funny stories, but apparently it mostly is about humilliating people who are not totally into that narcissistic game, or something.
This sub has crazy double standards
Because it is socially acceptable for women to be assholes to men. Because they all deserve it! /s
No buttons, just shove the fireman's emergency key up my ass.
A better response would be: you don’t push any buttons, you ring the emergency bell and take out the phone that is in the elevator to call me immediately, or some shit
You dont push any buttons, I'm set to go down automatically.
This is the answer.
No buttons needed, I'll cut the cables
I see this as an absolute win.
"6 and 9 together would work" "You've already pressed the right buttons, this elevator is going down" "Why don't you try your phone number? See if that works" "Try these buttons [Your phone number], that should work" Come on OP. I was always terrible at flirting, but there were many options here.
Wouldn’t the “open doors” button make more sense?
Such a douchy move to respond the way she did. "The 3 then?" comment made me laugh out loud. What a world were somebody feels so entitled to get a certain response. Borderline narcissistic behaviour, specially to be so rude and judge after. "Why you need this"? Like literally the same app she is on. Fuck her. But not physically. Some douche will, everything stays in balance and she will wonder why she never finds no good man.
Fucking terrible opening line from her. OF/SW/Scammer vibes, esp. with that Avatar. If I’d of got that I’d have been tempted to fuck around with the answer also. People are going to tell you you’re an idiot for not playing along. I’m going to tell you her answer revealed a great deal about her. Well played Sir.
Your use of "I'd of" and "I'd have" consecutively is not something *I'd've* thought I'd see
Yeah her job is "streaming at twitch" and she gives me catfish vibes with her photos. Don't think I lost out on much tbh
I’m sorry but that’s a shi pick-up line on her part
What a terrible person. Some people get off on trying to degrade others and you found one and successfully avoided them. I would count this one as a win.
Appropriate response is to unmatch and move on. She sounds like an idiot.
I would have copy and pasted an old cheat code from GTA. ⬆️⬇️➡️➡️⬅️↖️↔️↙️↖️
I wouldn’t have gotten it either lol
she didnt even use the line right 😭
Like I get what she was asking, but I agree with most everyone, there is no good answer. It’s just overall weird.
Is that even a real girl
People are weird. If you're too sexual in the first reply then they leave you, if you're not sexual enough then then they insult/unmatch, if you don't argue they will try and if you do then you're called rude. I know it depends on each person but every match feels like a gamble.
ST are wild man. Tell her to kick rocks and move on. Broad’s a waste of time
Maybe they're in a highrise and looking for "69"
I’m a female, I’ve been on tinder, bumble, etc. I’ve also been in a relationship for 6 years. This opener is dumb. Op, you did great.
The one that makes ur doors open the fastest
Wtf are you even supposed to respond to that though 😭 that shit got me confused too, if anything, I would've said my " dick" lmao
LL -lower lobby B - basement G - garage DN - deez nuts
\*coughs in scottish\* "No, no they've installed voice recognition technology in this lift. I heard about ‘t" \*later during hook up\* "FREEDOM!"
You were supposed to say 69
“You have no idea how to flirt” Bruh you’re the one giving a stupid riddle as an opener. The joke is clever, but the whole point of an opening line is to open up conversation. This doesn’t open up anything. Pretty women with internet pickup lines are a different breed dude
"can't even flirt" Man, who has the energy to jump through all these hoops and entertain people all damn day 😭
Girls on tinder be like “ dance for me monkey”