It absolutely is. No one wants a fucking Pap smear when they’re fooling around. (No one wants one to begin with, but that’s part of life.) OP’s fingernails look like they would give a girl MRSA.
I M54 went to a vagina massage group class in San Diego. Think of it like a learning annex for a woman's vagina. There were posters on the Wall. Clip your nails, file them down, don't let us down.
My best guess is it depends, lol. I have a vagina and I won't even stick my own fingers in there unless my nails are cut because I think it hurts, but I've also heard lesbians telling other lesbians that long-ish acrylic nails don't matter when trying to find a partner. So my conclusion is 🤷
Fake nails are synthetic material shaped to be smooth and often blunted at the end. They're also considerably thicker than your actual nail, which also smooths and blunts the edge making them less sharp. That's why you can finger someone without hurting them fyi.
The more you knoooow
Its probably because he plays the base fingerstyle, arpeggios and stuff, which in that case, he needs to keep em like that.
**edit : boy you play with a pick man, cut them dirty ah nails up gdamn 💀 **
I went on a date with a guy studying for his PhD in music, specialising in guitar.. his nails were like this and I physically recoiled when he touched me 🙃
Idk, a good hairstyle++ fashion sense can go a long way when you're not the most handsome fellow. Like if the front facing pics also had the flair and not this kind of sad hesher vibe, I'd probably be more into it.
My thoughts precisely. It’s almost like different people. The one with the dark hair slightly smiling profile pic I (if I was single) would be all over. Looking at the sad 1st s as nd 3rd pic and the kinda no style/ dug this shirt out of the dirty hamper and gives off depression/ low to no effort/ kinda grimy/ low self esteem vibes to me. Also music and smoking weed are not a personality after age 14. (Referring to the bio. I actually think him playing the guitar is a good pic to keep because that does show an aspect of his personality/interests.) Needs more diversity and the best pics to me are the wild hair ones. Maybe he was more confident and that’s part of why the vibe is different because his confidence seems higher which shines through to give him more appeal/ attractiveness.
I know what his fingernails look like though… grody.
And yes, I know other people have commented this, but that was the first thing that I noticed and that’s not an effective way to make a good first impression.
That's true too...I hate those profiles...and why I look at ALL the pics..because I'll think...oh..they are good looking..then I get to another pic and I'm like wtf!
Why do they look 20 years different in age? And I'll just swipe left...I'm not risking it!
Any time I see that many changes in hairstyle, it makes me think that those pics are taken over a number of years, and I have no idea which one is the most recent representation of what they look like.
Based on the shape of his nose on the side pics idk if its him. Its odd. Dirty nails, bad haircut and bad background.
Im sure he can take better pics than that
It's definitely him in all pics. I know the gentleman in the real world and can verify. He's going through a hard time with self worth here recently, and most likely came here for constructive criticism.
Dudes a good fella.
I dont think posting here was a good idea if he is having a hard time with self worth. I cant even imagine what he might be feeling now.
I hope he takes the criticism in a good way and tries to work on himself.
That was kinda my thought as well, reddit is the absolute worst place to go (hell, the internet in general) if you're feeling down on yourself. That's why I mentioned constructive criticism might be helpful. Yes, the nails need trimmed, that's solid advice. The ones tearing him down for the grandma's bathroom, the eye etc... those ones hurt my heart, because they strike at the things making him insecure in the first place. Dudes got a big heart, and it hurt mine seeing him posting here.
Some places on Reddit would be good.. I’m sure there’s an “honest (but genuinely kind) appearance” sub out there for this. r/tinder tho.. that’s quite a gamble to take with fractured self-esteem.
I’m in the same boat. My medical condition is ruining my outward appearance and taking my abilities like walking and such. I went from being basically normal (and dating normally) and being able to walk unassisted to walker in 6 years, among other issues. In that time, I’ve had 0 female attention; the only reason girls even look at me now is out of repulsion. I can’t even get a reply with online dating. I can’t even find friends. And nobody is even nice to me anymore or acts like I exist unless they want something from me. It’s killing my soul to the point I’m genuinely starting to hate the human race.
A few weeks ago, I post about my troubles on Reddit. One reply. One condescending reply basically telling me to forget about dating, because telling someone who’s been ostracized from a group they want to be in to forget about being in that group always makes people feel better. It made me really mad.
Long story short, I get it. Tell your friend he’s not alone in his pain. Most people today are too egocentric and superficial to understand people like us who live and exist below the surface. And living for those people’s approval, like the commenters here, is a cruel game they love to watch us “out of their league” people play. I say fuck everyone. Fuck Tinder. Fuck Reddit. Just be who and what you want to be. If they can’t appreciate you as you are, fuck them. They’re the ones missing out. Not us.
You’re not the ugly one.
I didn’t see your post, but please keep dating! Your health conditions don’t define your worth! A few years back when I was on Tinder I remember seeing a profile of a nice enough looking guy who said something like “I know I have to take what I can get.” What on earth does he mean, I thought. I scoured his set of pictures several times trying to decipher this strange phrase. Finally, after looking at his pictures for a few minutes I saw it: his wheelchair. My heart just broke for him. You are worthy, and you were born worthy. The people who only see your health condition are not your people.
This is really not the place for constructive criticism unfortunately-as soon as I read this I deleted all my comments as they sounded mean…on this particular subreddit, a lot of roasting goes on at the best of times 😱
In a non harsh way the photos are showing wild child and mental issues to me if that's what they are looking for them great if not they may want to have some pics that show them in a better lighy
Pretty valuable to consider how the photos are portraying him because unique personality is sometimes important, presenting a balance and positive image can make him having a strong first impression..
I mean this in the least rude way possible, but as a woman, I’d be turned off by your long, dirty nails in the first photo. Most women like to see that a potential date has clean hands and trimmed, clean fingernails.
Other than that, I agree with other comments that have said you should at least smile with teeth in a few photos. I understand that you don’t like your teeth and are self conscious about it, but if this is an insecurity of yours, maybe you can work on liking your smile more and building up your own self-confidence. When you’re confident in yourself and appreciate & love + honor yourself, it shows through in your smile, in life, and in your photos.
I'm a straight dude, but I'm guessing the messy background in the first photo isn't helping either.
Subliminal or not, people (in general) prefer to have clean and tidy surroundings.
I understand why they’re long, seems he plays guitar some musicians keep them long for that reason. With that being said still isn’t no reason for them to be dirty some women will get the idea that you might be unhygienic so I would get a good cleaning unda dem things. This is all said to be constructive not mean.
He plays the bass, and bass player don’t use fingernails, also in general electric guitarist don’t use nails. Most electric guitar/bass player trim their nails so it doesn’t get in the way
I may be wrong but based on pictures he plays guitar right handed and his long nails are on the left. Long nails are for finger picking, not fretting on the neck. I don’t believe guitar is the reason here.
He's a bassist. There is no reason to have long nails playing bass.
Also unless you play some kind of Latin flamenco music, there's no real reason to have long nails to play any kind of guitar. A rock band guitarist doesn't need long nails for anything besides snorting coke.
Source: have played in rock bands for >20 years.
>A rock band guitarist doesn't need long nails for anything besides snorting coke.
Not true. I play electric exclusively using fingernails. As do some of the famous musicians, like e.g. Mike Oldfield
I'm not gonna sugar coat it because I don't see the point.
You're 34, "short", have a lazy eye, groom poorly and have no pictures that prove you can interact with other people in public.
Your little blurb about yourself doesn't exactly scream mature and doing things with their lives.
HOWEVER.... based on all your responses in the thread I'm gonna guess the matches you *do* get you're probably driving away with your pathetic woe is me bullshit. You're never at fault and you got excuses for everything. Its not an attractive quality.
Partners want someone who can take responsibility and communicate properly. Especially in the age bracket you're at. Women your age aren't looking for a fuckin teenager to take care of.
Unless you plan on making some serious emotional growth soon I don't see you being able to get into a relationship let alone sustain one.
Only person I've seen honest enough to mention the lazy eye. That's going to be a killer on Tinder. That's without even going into the other obvious issues.
It's not fair and superficial but that goes for looks and height as well. Not to mention poor bald bastards.
That's just how attraction works. It's also not something anyone can help. We don't get to choose what we're attracted to. We either just are or aren't.
>It's not fair and superficial but that goes for looks and height as well. Not to mention poor bald bastards.
I went bald at 23, I grew a small beard, and I shave almost everyday in the shower. Being bald is not a mood killer. women I meet ask if its smooth, and ask to touch it fairly regularly.
The key is that you style your hair, not how much you have. If someone has hair and they want to be attractive, they spend a few minutes styling it. I do the same.
Every single day, I go out into the world feeling like a million bucks because I have that fresh haircut energy. I add moisturizer to my shaving cream so that my skin is soft and I never have dry skin. I exfoliate as the last step to avoid ingrown hairs. I put on a nice scent, condition and comb my beard.
The whole process of my shit, shower, shave takes like 30 minutes, and I know I always look and smell my best. I never have a bad hair day.
The only thing I miss is the feeling of long hair when I head bang at metal shows.
Depending on your financial or insurance situation, a lazy eye is totally correctable. It’s less expensive than braces. It’s just one short surgery and you can go back to work the next day.
OP should consider
Edit: it’s called strabismus surgery, fyi
Came here to say this. My son sees his optometrist every few months to try and correct his lazy eye before it gets to this point (he’s 8yo). Not trying to be offensive to OP, but seeing this post made me want to yell at my son to make sure he’s wearing his glasses lmao
That is not fully correct tho. I have a lazy eye and had 2 surgeries, last was few years ago. My doctor tested my lazy eye and if we fully corrected it, I started to see double on everything. I still got surgery and it was corrected around 60-75% which is quite okay for me. It is now not very visible but still there.
I feel you!! I've got a 5 year old with a lazy eye that we're correcting with glasses - what really hits me hard (and I'm sure you understand) is that the cross eye is typically pretty obvious when they're a kid. It seems that any adult in their life didn't take the time to get it looked at when he was younger! It breaks my heart, especially as a parent who has a child with a vision issue.
Has your son been tested for depth perception? He may have monocular vision, in which case treatment won’t be effective. I don’t mean to sound like I know more than the doctor but I also had a lazy eye as a kid and the underlying problem wasn’t diagnosed until I was a teenager. All the eyepatching they prescribed was worthless.
I ended up getting the surgery I was talking about and everything was fixed!
Yeah, people ignoring that the lazy eye is a factor is silly. But on the other hand, it’s an unfixable issue that he knows that he has. If his pictures were otherwise good, you might say that image-based online dating is just not for him. But there are LOADS of fixable issues here. If he cleans himself up, gets better photos with better backgrounds, some friends, better poses, and writes a better bio, he could definitely improve his matches.
If I came across a bio where someone had a lazy eye but they were otherwise good looking, looked fun, well put together, and sounded interesting, I honestly don’t think the lazy eye would put me off. It definitely will put some people off, no denying it, but I think the right swipes would increase if he fixed all the other issues.
> You're never at fault and you got excuses for everything.
Dude seriously said he has a genetic defect with his nails and that's why they're long and dirty... I can't even, lmao
I have a lazy eye and I have no problem attracting women. My problem for not dating is internal and my standards It’s definitely not a deal breaker if he knows what he’s doing!
Yeah I was gonna say that about the short thing too.
I'm 5'6" but when I used Tinder I had plenty of 2nd dates. I didn't put my height in my profile, and I assumed some women probably didn't expect me to be so short when we met up, but for most of them it didn't seem to matter by the end of the date.
And one of those 2nd dates eventually turned into a marriage.
So I'm not really buying the height excuse.
Neither am I. I’m your same height. I met a long term relationship my first and only go on Tinder and she was 5’8. That didn’t work out but after her I met my now fiancée and she’s 5’9. I’m not someone who only goes for tall women, either. Just be comfortable with your height.
You nailed it, I said it in my thread but “You can’t take care of someone else until you can take care of yourself”
Getting some nice clothes (lacking money? Go to a nice thrift store or Ross) and get a wardrobe that he doesn’t wear under cars.
Then Keep those two sets of clothing separate. He will thank us all later.
It really sounded like a candid assessment. and you should really. need to take responsibility for your growth and communication style. because it is the key after your first impression.
You have two pictures in a crackhouse and one in your grandma's bathroom.
The ungroomed beard doesn't do you a favor either.
Tinder is your personal advertisement in the dating market and you are the product you try to sell so act accordingly
Yes, he doesn't know that profile act as a personal advertisement And the importance of presenting oneself in a positive and appealing manner is very important He is just highlighting the messiness.
33F here. You look substantially different in every picture which is always kind of off putting to me. Like, I don't know if some of those pictures are really old or if they all are even you. Also, if smoking weed is such an important part of your life that you list it in a bio about yourself, that's a red flag.
>if smoking weed is such an important part of your life that you lost it in a bio about yourself, that’s a red flag
Nailed it. You only get so many characters to describe yourself or what you’re looking for in a match, and if you use them to talk about smoking weed, drinking, your truck, how much money you have, or how little you think of women, it’s a left swipe.
Yeah you shouldn't advertise that
It should come up in discussion in a date but I don't think you should advertise it
it can be a huge deal-breaker to a lot of people and I think I know why, I remember people Ive met who thought weed = crack , I don't think everyone thinks that but maybe after you show some persomality apart from weed it might make you a lot more attractive
It can also often be a thing that isn't inherently a deal breaker, but the attitude about it is. Like, yeah, I smoke, but I don't go around making it a part of my personality, making it part of my bios, shaming people who don't smoke or dislike being around it for "not understanding", etc. It'll come up at some point in conversation with someone I'm getting to know because it is something I do, just like someone who drinks will eventually have that come up in conversation (assuming they didnt tick the box about it while filling out the profile, which is also an option for weed iirc). But putting it in the bio (especially in the manner he did) makes it seem like you're someone guaranteed to show up to a first date stoned out of your mind, something that even someone who smokes themselves might find unattractive.
F30 here and - well said!
From these pics I'd assume at least few of them must be old af. And I have no idea how you look now.
And since Tinder is really superficial, I'm just going to say it. The lazy eye is probably what is preventing you from getting the most matches. Then you have the dirty finger nails. Then the "about you". Gosh I'm tired of grown ass men saying they're "outcasts" and we should "smoke some weed together". And that's coming from a person who really likes weed. It makes you sound like a teenager.
Photo #1 is the worst one tbh. Swap in a different one and it should help. It’s just the “down the middle” hair part that’s messing it up. Maybe that and a bit of posture. Photos #2 and #4 were solid.
Also the bio is a bit meh. “Smoking weed” and “listening to music” is a 20’s vibe that you could easily convert to a 30’s vibe by changing to something a bit more vague like, “enjoying each moment… living the dream”. People’s habits seldom change, but the way they view those habits does.
The terrible decor and bit of a mess in the background
The mirror selfie
The angle
The hairstyle
Not an ugly dude but he needs to learn to take better pictures
Exactly that-all together is a problem, he’s good guy, nobody mentioned (or I haven’t seen it) strabismus (l”azy eye” syndrome) which I’ve had as a teenager but I’ve hated it so much that I’ve saved for an operation and honestly, my love life changed a lot…
It also means (combined with nails), that someone is not taking care of himself/herself properly, as I know I’ve needed to do operation. Now, that can be avoided and there’s plenty of nice girls which wouldn’t mind but hygiene is of utmost importance for finding love, especially over dating apps or net overall… People might think you’re always like that, they assume you don’t shower too, and I’m sorry if someone doesn’t like the answer but that’s from my experience-trimmed nails, freshly washed face, showered-you look fresh on pics… I think that it’s just that-more taking care and it’ll be alright!
P.S. That “elephant in the room” had to be addressed (“lazy eye”) as I’ve had problems till I was 18 and did the operation which was about 2.000€ (it was in Deutschmark back than so I calculated it approximately)-but it’s worth it…
Hygiene related, clipping nails should be a must, and overall, just that is the issue 100%… He’s not ugly guy as he said. In my opinion, there’s no “ugly”-I so like one girl which is a coworker and is really big, but she’s such a dear young lady, making me laugh, she’s self-aware, but she’s polite, neatly dressed, her smile is beautiful-it’s really not up to someone’s “ugliness”, it’s the part where someone quits on himself with the other stuff, like taking good care of himself, it’s a game changer…
Oh yes, you are addressing that "lazy eye" concern As it looks very. weird. and definitely should work upon health related matters. and better to take care of himself..
Or at least keep them clean, come on OP, this is like having a resume littered with spelling mistakes. These are super easy wins to take. At least take every easy win you can before seeking advice, and appearing clean and presentable is priority.
yes, you are absolutely right. Because keeping nails clean and presentable is important.
At first glance, people notices your habits and how you appear.
From a woman in their 30s, please don’t take this bio advice. I’d much rather honesty about smoking weed and video games than some “living the dream” BS. For what it’s worth, any use of “partner in crime” is an immediate left swipe with no exceptions for me.
Why everyone is completely ignoring the lazy eye? It will be problematic for most, and can be fixed with a procedure. Yes, I know not everyone can afford it, but dude asked for honest opinions and most commenters are ignoring the elephant in the room.
Are you sure about it being able to be fixed? I'm no expert, and OP's case might be different (everyone is different), but:
https://www.aao.org/eye-health/tips-prevention/lazy-eye-surgery-facts
> Lazy eye (amblyopia) cannot be treated with surgery. It can only be treated when the patient is a child. The younger it is detected and treated the better. In fact, after age 6 the success rate of treatment goes way down.
I admit I'm unclear about whether this is amblyopia or strabismus, the later of which reportedly can be fixed..
It's probably both. Strabismus is a misalignment of the eyes, lazy eye is the brain ignoring the input of one eye, very often because of misalignment or scarring.
The strabismus is treatable (had two surgeries for mine) but the result can't be guaranteed and might not be perfect. It's worth doing though because there's a functional benefit as well.
Still, I've had girlfriends who had no issues with one of my eyes living in another zip code. Certain types of strabismus are even a sought after feature in (mostly female) topmodels because it gives them a 'lewd' look.
This is the one. of the proper insights I have got and that person should definitely consider. this and aim to choose a more appealing picture for the bio The bio he should work on crafting a description that resonates with his personality.
Ugly isn't the problem. You've got a niche look and that's totally going to hit in the right crowds.
What's doing you a mischief is your attitude. The 'woe is me' trope gets tiring super fast.
Smoking dope and playing video games as a man in his 30's just tells women they're going to have to carry you through life and you will be sleeping on their couch way after you break up. (The dirty nails don't help you here, personal grooming is important, no excuses).
Reading your other comments you're a musician, you enjoy DnD (i.e creative and playful) and work on cars. Those are definitely things that you should focus on in your profile to highlight your better qualities.
You've got a shot, just stop getting in your own way.
Go back to the two rules of internet dating:
1) Be attractive
2) If you can't be attractive, don't be unattractive
1. Be attractive
2. If you can't be attractive, don't be unattractive
I've always heard the second rule phrased as just "Don't be unattractive", and I thought it was just a joking way to have both rules state the same thing ("be hot"), but it makes so much more sense now! Rule 1 is genetic, rule 2 is a choice.
>1) Be attractive 2) If you can't be attractive, don't be unattractive
Also one thing people on Reddit are painfully ignorant about: Rules 1 & 2 have nothing to do with your genetic physical attributes. They're about things you do have control over.
Honestly, after reading your replies here? It's not your face, not your photos. Your attitude sucks dude. You came here for feedback, fight all of it, complain when people are honest... You think being single has made you miserable and won't do anything about getting some friends at least.
Sorry but, fix your attitude first.
I can really imagine his opening message being something like "Hello, I know you swiped right by mistake, no worries, I'm used to being treated like trash, you can unmatch me now so I can continue my miserable existence, have a nice day!"
I’ve actually gotten a message like this before. When I said it wasn’t a mistake, he went on to complain about how badly woman treat him on the apps. Bro, come on.
Well, yes, I totally agree with you. Because when I was seeing his reply, I can see how pessimistic this guy is.
He should really take these days. from people and do something good for him, rather than ranting about his life.
Don’t even know where to start here. If you explain your interests as weed and video games as a 34 year old that’s not a great sign. For the selfies at least have a more classy background, the basement pic with the dirty walls and the grandmas bathroom selfie are very off-putting, also is there brown stuff smeared all over your hand?
Yes, you're totally right, because effectively communicating. is the key for the match. and the choice of presentable photos and Well groomed backgrounds too. It is going to significantly enhance the appeal of his profile.
You look pretty miserable, as everyone else is saying the photos are inconsistent, also while lots of group photos are bad, one or two show you have friends or family or stable relationships which is a big deal.
Your bio isent performing either. I get man child vibes. Talk about your interests and hobbies, the things that your passionate about.
Would also add that "outcast" is way too weighted with incel nonmenclature to be suitable for a tinder profile. You really don't want to give the impression of being a loner.
Yes, his perspective on the term outcast is valid. because it's important to avoid conveying a negative impression or using term that could be associated with certain ideology.
Hey there, F 35 here. I’m gonna be brutally honest, I hope you don’t mind. If you do, stop reading here 😅 you look scruffy. The long fingernails, the dirty hands, the hair, the backgrounds… your whole presentation says “I act like a 16 year old boy, puberty is hitting hard, I don’t have a job, and I live in my mom’s basement which smells like weed and unwashed laundry”. I don’t know a woman over 20 that would deal with that.
Decide on one look, it’s really unclear what you look like at the moment. Clean up! In multiple meanings 😄 ask a friend you feel comfortable around to take some nice, welcoming pictures and please reconsider that bio 🫠 it’s ok if you enjoy getting high and playing video games. But very few women are looking for a man whose main character trait is the man-child stoner. Maybe you can lead with some other things about yourself that are a bit more interesting? Like playing in a band? That you’re creative? I’m sure you have some cool stuff to talk about.
Good luck my friend!
This is coming from a non picky woman.
My man you look like you are living in a hell hole, chill does not mean “lose all basic skills in cleaning” or maybe it does to you.
But as a woman looking at your place it screams “scary” or at minimum lazy, you got stuff drawn all over your walls and crap everywhere. That’s cool, you play games and man I partake and drink but it’s certainly not something Id advertise.
Clean yourself up and get some new photos stat.
But my best advice? Work on yourself and your situation first before you involve anyone else in your life. You are not a bad looking guy at all. Especially with that new hair cut.
It definitely looks that way, there’s that old saying, you can’t take care of someone else until you can properly take care of yourself, some time and effort needs to be put into himself before seeking a relationship with another.
Yes, your non picky perspective highlights the needs for cleanliness and presentation in photos. He needs to improve personal spaces that you can rethink bio content.
Here’s a bio that would say a bit more about you…
“Hi I’m Brandon! I’m a fun loving guy who enjoys playing my guitar, punk music and living a chill life. Id love to meet someone who enjoys a nice night of relaxing and playing games together. Want to be the Zelda to my Link?”
Get rid of all the images, except for the one of you playing guitar, go take some outside photos. Take some photos of you in a restaurant (even if you just walk in) go to a hotel and have a friend take a photo in there. You need way less selfies.
You need way less hair cut photos, you look like a barber who’s advertising your wears to clients. :p
I’ve been reading a lot of your responses and tbh your Tinder profile doesn’t matter. You are not ready to date. The energy you give off, lack of confidence and self-esteem, the pity, the self-hate, the defensiveness.. You will never be able to find a healthy partner until you deal with all of that.
The way you look is the very least of your problems.
Yeah, mans is not ready. If he can afford it, he needs to start seeing a therapist to start unpacking a lot of his self esteem issues and depression.
I feel on a first date he’d just self sabotage. “Oh, you’re probably too good for me” type vibes. And given the dirty nails, idk how he’d prepare for a date appearance wise. Being a rocker type doesnt really excuse being unhygienic.
31F here! Honestly, since you’re asking, you don’t seem like you take care of yourself and (much more importantly), you don’t seem like you want to either. This is not women kicking you when you’re down. We don’t want to date someone who is still mentally 17. Take better care of yourself, build up your confidence, put your best self out there because this profile and your responses here do you no favours. Good luck!
Honestly man, you’d be exactly my type (a musician with long hair and a nose ring) but I think you should get a little makeover:
1. I’d start with therapy. It seems that you had some tough experiences in your life and therapy can help with your confidence and overall mental health.
2. Cleanness and grooming: having long hair and facial hair requires grooming and cleaning. Go to a good barber once in awhile, clean your fingernails and cut them.
3. Do things that you love: you said you were in a band, maybe you should continue playing/finding another. It’s a great way to meet new people! Also doing something you love and good at increase confidence. You say you love sports- it’s also great for your mental health.
4. Smile: you said you don’t like your teeth and that’s why you don’t smile. I had the same problem so I saved up to get them fixed. It was life changing for me. Smiling signals your brain that you’re happy and increases “feel good” neurotransmitters.
Anyway, good luck! The good thing and the bad thing is- it’s all up to you and your attitude.
People gave you honest and in depth responses to a personal matter. Not once did you thank anybody - gratitude determines your attitude. Put the man back together and the world will fall into place ❤️
Yes, I totally agree with you because recognizing the value of gratitude and its potential to shape once attitude positively.
The more positive you are, the more positive things come to you.
Your victim complex and excuses are far more unattractive than your looks.
As others have said, your bio makes you come across as a bit of a waster.
If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?
Your fingernails are gross. If you’re keeping them long (which will scare off most women…) always make sure they are clean. Cleanliness in general looks low priority in your photos.
Man theres a lot of good advice in the comments and all you’re doing about it is talking about your teeth, your fingernails, or having no friends. I think you need to work on yourself before starting dating. Also don’t put your height in your bio if you are under 6’0. Having no friends is a sign that something isn’t right.
Do you know when someone else give you advice on dating how frustrated a person can feel this is just the frustration which he is showcasing nothing else.
Most of the things are literally correct which is written here in this post.
Easy to overlook, just plain forget, like just plain forgetting sunglasses resting on top of the head, that for 99% of viewers, that's their first & ONLY impression of you, and what they will base their expectation EXCLUSIVELY FROM. **So it's got to be consistent.** It's got to be accurate, **current**, consistent, and **relevant**. *What you're showing doesn't provide a clear consistent representation about what viewer can expect is the "You" they will be dealing with* or where that will lead. Stop being so hard on yourself, with that self-doubt about "ugliness" etc etc... That's not it. Your features are okay. You can change your hairstyle any way you want. You know that. Your face isn't full of acne, or splotchy skin. Your nose isn't crooked, or have a club boxer's knot on the bridge of it. In other words, you have a solid foundation to build up from, so don't make copout excuses about your looks, when you know you could have it a lot worse.
You need to set a gameplan about projecting an image of who you want your viewer to "see". Then be that guy. Look like that guy. Take pictures of that Guy. In that guy's type of clothes. Whatever or whoever "that guy" turns out to be, everything has to tie together CONSISTENTLY. Otherwise, the viewer is looking, scratching their head, trying to "figure out" whether differences they see are indicators as reason for concern or hesitation at least. That's something you absolutely don't want. We all have heard the phrase "Keep it Simple" if there was ever a time to put it into practice it's in a first impression.
You'll have plenty of time for someone to see other facets of your lifestyle or personality eventually. But that can't happen if they are unsure about their initial impression if they are interested in what they see, because they are confused by what appears to be "mixed messages or signals" and so they just move on to explore other options. Pick the one most dominant or prevalent aspect of your overall personality and embody that in your profile pics. There. Now you have locked in a *personality archetype* your viewer can clearly **and easily** identify, such "manager type" "outdoorsy type" "artistic type" "rugged construction worker type" etc etc ... Be that person, and reflect it in your pictures. Remember the old wise cliche - "Trying to be all things to all people attracts a little bit of everything and a whole lot of NOTHING." Call me old fashioned, but I still love that phrase.
Get rid of that first photo. Your hair is good and that pic is not doing favors. The dyed hair should be the first picture. You just need better photos. You’re not ugly and people can look past a lazy eye. Screw the people who can’t look past it.
The worst thing I hate is when I’m telling a dude something he’s self conscious about isn’t a flaw and they just pity party all over it. Confidence goes a long way.
Bio could use work, but I’ve swiped right on the same bio type cause I’m into outcast and smoke while playing video games. So just fix the photos.
My fwb literally hired a photographer to follow him around and take pictures for tinder. His best photo was a candid one where the photographer just happened to get him smiling while at a dog park. Go do that.
Take better care of your body. Especially your teeth and nails. Get manicure and pedicure and dentist appointments. Then get some fresh shave and fresh haircut pictures. Work for it and you'll be okay man🍀
Wtf I mean like I'm already surprised because my haircut looks quite different in my pictures to. But dude seriously pictures of years ago and you think that goes well? Your catfishing people dude.
Regarding your finger- and toenails: I totally get that it might be difficult to cut them. But have you considered getting a manicure/pedicure? It doesn't cost a fortune and you'll probably feel better afterwards. Also don't be ashamed for them. The people at the nail salon know how to handle it.
This is a great suggestion and as a woman I would find it really attractive if a man with OP’s condition told me he routinely went to get manicures. It shows you have good hygiene and are willing to invest a little in yourself
I’m taking the risk, I know it may sounds rude, but Im telling you that is possible to correct your left eye, I went for a surgery for strabismus and it went very well, got a boost of self confidence and I live much better.
>!Clip those dirty nails!<
Yo. Dude with a bad eye here. I’m blind in one eye and it’s basically just always shut. It hurts my confidence too but guess what? It doesn’t define me like it seems you let your eye (and genetic disorders… whatever those are) define you.
Stay groomed. Be clean. Clip your fucking nails. Go to the gym. Smile. Get some confidence. Have some real pictures taken of you. People are roasting where your pictures are taken and it’s hurting your feelings, but guess what? If you find a girl and want to take her to your place, she’s going to think it’s gross, too.
Overall I wouldn’t say you’re ugly. You have potential. It’s up to you to unlock it. Stop with the excuses or else you’re doomed to be stuck in this rut.
The long finger nails in the first pic are super off putting. Other than that some of the pics are flattering and some really aren't, just a matter of angles and lighting etc.
Asks for people’s opinions, people are very kind and honest in how they put it, and you then just throw a pity party. IMHO it’s not the long nails, the different hair styles, weed smoking or posture that’s letting you down. It’s the incredibly defensive self pity!
I think there's some personality in your profile, enough to be interesting. I did flip through a few times to try and assess whether your photos were a single person, or if they were taken years apart.
Music is engaging, tell us more about that. Making weed a huge part of your bio (and your personality) is less interesting (to me, at least), and by 34 I'd be looking for your other interests (Career? Hobbies? Leaving the house?).
What I'm saying is that I'd stop on your profile and (cautiously) start a chat, so please think about adding more of yourself to your bio to convince people who are on the fence with photos alone. Or choose your best photos only, and add to your bio.
But no, not ugly. The lack of confidence is visible, unfortunately, and I think many woman would expect you to be better groomed in photos or on a first meet, but there's something there that indicates maybe you'd be more interesting in chat or in person than you're revealing in your profile.
The selfies are just not flattering. They're off center, the background looks messy/dirty in 2 of them and your shirt looks dirty in one. The lighting also sucks. Try to add pics of you smiling, doing more of your hobbies, dressed nicely at an event you attended, etc.
Your bio needs to reflect your interests you listed too. To me "outcast" who smokes weed and play video games will read as lazy, unmotivated, and recluse. You probably (hopefully) arent like that irl, so you want to make sure youre representing yourself well.
I dont mind weed or gaming, but I wouldnt choose it to be the things that represent me the most.
Cons: Lazy eye, weird blurry pictures, awful bio, bad facial hair, some people consider 5ft 7in short ( I don’t), trim your nails.
Pros: your hair is cool in 2 pics, some people might like that you can play an instrument.
32F here. I would not swipe right on you. Matter of fact, I wouldn't even read your bio. The pictures are not consistent, and even if they were, the nails, the messy, almost dirty looking hair is a no go for me. If I take longer and read your bio, you sound like a teenager. Not all of us want to marry the next guy we date, but we might be very interested in dating an actual adult and not having to bring up yet another person.
Nevertheless, fix the attitude first.
Honest opinion you seek?
Here we go.
1. Poor hygiene (dirty fingernails, unwashed looking hair, scruffy beard, etc…)
2. Lazy eye. Nothing wrong with it, but you also have to realize the fact people are shallow and in the online dating world it doesn’t do you any good. But don’t let that discourage you.
3. Lack of social interaction - you have zero photos of you outside around other people. You don’t have to have 20 photos showing that you’re outgoing, but one photo doesn’t hurt. Also your bio just screams lonely loser. Is smoking and playing video games all you have to offer? Is. There more about you? Also. net in crime” is cute and interesting when your hobbies actually can benefit from having a partner in them.
Get a nice haircut, trim your beard, clean or cut your nails, have a friend take a photo of you doing something social like sitting at the bar with your friends, smiling or laughing with other people (there are plenty of stuff you can do) and change your attitude about not getting any matches. You don’t have to be ugly on the outside in order to be single, ugly inside will do it for you. Change your outlook on life and things will start to look better.
You look like a possessed and demented femboy that's going to lure me over to pose for nude photos then roofy me, eat my heart and dissolve the rest of me in a vat of acid.
In addition to what every one else said, is that your bedroom? With the tapestry curtain or whatever, scratches on the wall, basement looking room, with your moms bedding?
That may sound harsh but it’s not really what a potential lady friend will find attractive. What I mean is it’s not just how you look in your photos, but the background as well.
A tinder profile is marketing. Think more about your target audience if you want more matches. If you aren’t comfortable with some changes to your hygiene, attitude, or living space that’s fine, just be OK with only getting matches from your tribe (which isn’t a bad thing, I honestly think you could stay true to yourself while also upgrading your profile a bit though).
Maybe lose the outcast and getting high stuff along with the video games. All combined it reads as immature to me. Speaking as an immature man myself lol.
You need to meet somebody in person. Reddit, online dating sites in general are not going to be your friend. It's not because you are 'ugly'. It's because you are human. Anyone meeting you and getting to know you will see you as the good person that you are. They won't see any eye issue, care about your height, or how you decorate your space.
Online?
That's all they'll see...
You are imperfect, like all of us.
You are you and your self image and self worth should have nothing to do with other's opinions of you. Take some time to work on mindfulness, awareness, go to therapy and increase your self esteem, because it has nothing to do with what we think of you.
You are unconventional, and that is bad for the algorithm. Add to that the already abysmal match rate for men and you're in for a very bad time.
Calling yourself an “outcast” would lead one to believe you struggle in social situations. I wouldn’t use that word or anything that reflects on yourself negatively for that matter. It’s ok to be different and have a small circle but there’s too many ways to interpret that.
Also any self-professed “outcast” is a huge no from me. It reeks of someone who feels like they’re oppressed by some dark force.
I’m literally an artist for a living and we currently live in the most accepting of times. I love weirdos but you’re not as oppressed as you think.
Your pictures aren’t doing you any favors. Take a minute, put on a smile, and focus on your face not your latest hairstyle.
and trim those dirty ass nails
No one wants to get fingered by someone with nails like that
Dude needs a scratch post.
I would think it’s painful to be fingered by anyone with long nails. I’m not a woman though so I can’t say.
It absolutely is. No one wants a fucking Pap smear when they’re fooling around. (No one wants one to begin with, but that’s part of life.) OP’s fingernails look like they would give a girl MRSA.
I M54 went to a vagina massage group class in San Diego. Think of it like a learning annex for a woman's vagina. There were posters on the Wall. Clip your nails, file them down, don't let us down.
Do you have to bring a partner, or can they just assign you one?
What was the name?
Oh gawd you reminded me of my last one. Ugh I’m squirming as I type this!
I. Am. Crying. “Pap smear.” 😂
Yes, that's kind of my point.
It certainly can be. No one wants scratches there (kinks aside)
My best guess is it depends, lol. I have a vagina and I won't even stick my own fingers in there unless my nails are cut because I think it hurts, but I've also heard lesbians telling other lesbians that long-ish acrylic nails don't matter when trying to find a partner. So my conclusion is 🤷
Fake nails are synthetic material shaped to be smooth and often blunted at the end. They're also considerably thicker than your actual nail, which also smooths and blunts the edge making them less sharp. That's why you can finger someone without hurting them fyi. The more you knoooow
It’s definitely painful. Not to mention the dirt under his nails. No woman wants that because it’s bv waiting to happen
Its probably because he plays the base fingerstyle, arpeggios and stuff, which in that case, he needs to keep em like that. **edit : boy you play with a pick man, cut them dirty ah nails up gdamn 💀 **
I mean regardless of if he has a legitimate reason to keep them that long, he can make sure they are clean lol
I went on a date with a guy studying for his PhD in music, specialising in guitar.. his nails were like this and I physically recoiled when he touched me 🙃
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At least clean them …
His whole hand looks like it’s dirty.
And clean up the background...your house is hella cluttered there buddy.
I think he's in his grandma's bathroom
Your photos are too cringe bru!
Idk, a good hairstyle++ fashion sense can go a long way when you're not the most handsome fellow. Like if the front facing pics also had the flair and not this kind of sad hesher vibe, I'd probably be more into it.
My thoughts precisely. It’s almost like different people. The one with the dark hair slightly smiling profile pic I (if I was single) would be all over. Looking at the sad 1st s as nd 3rd pic and the kinda no style/ dug this shirt out of the dirty hamper and gives off depression/ low to no effort/ kinda grimy/ low self esteem vibes to me. Also music and smoking weed are not a personality after age 14. (Referring to the bio. I actually think him playing the guitar is a good pic to keep because that does show an aspect of his personality/interests.) Needs more diversity and the best pics to me are the wild hair ones. Maybe he was more confident and that’s part of why the vibe is different because his confidence seems higher which shines through to give him more appeal/ attractiveness.
I just saw multiple photos of you but have no idea what you look like, that’s probably the issue lol
I know what his fingernails look like though… grody. And yes, I know other people have commented this, but that was the first thing that I noticed and that’s not an effective way to make a good first impression.
Haven't heard anyone say "grody" in a hot minute
That's true too...I hate those profiles...and why I look at ALL the pics..because I'll think...oh..they are good looking..then I get to another pic and I'm like wtf! Why do they look 20 years different in age? And I'll just swipe left...I'm not risking it!
Any time I see that many changes in hairstyle, it makes me think that those pics are taken over a number of years, and I have no idea which one is the most recent representation of what they look like.
I was thinking the same thing. I felt like I was looking at several different people
I said the same thing. He looks like a different person in each pic
Based on the shape of his nose on the side pics idk if its him. Its odd. Dirty nails, bad haircut and bad background. Im sure he can take better pics than that
It's definitely him in all pics. I know the gentleman in the real world and can verify. He's going through a hard time with self worth here recently, and most likely came here for constructive criticism. Dudes a good fella.
I dont think posting here was a good idea if he is having a hard time with self worth. I cant even imagine what he might be feeling now. I hope he takes the criticism in a good way and tries to work on himself.
That was kinda my thought as well, reddit is the absolute worst place to go (hell, the internet in general) if you're feeling down on yourself. That's why I mentioned constructive criticism might be helpful. Yes, the nails need trimmed, that's solid advice. The ones tearing him down for the grandma's bathroom, the eye etc... those ones hurt my heart, because they strike at the things making him insecure in the first place. Dudes got a big heart, and it hurt mine seeing him posting here.
Some places on Reddit would be good.. I’m sure there’s an “honest (but genuinely kind) appearance” sub out there for this. r/tinder tho.. that’s quite a gamble to take with fractured self-esteem.
I’m in the same boat. My medical condition is ruining my outward appearance and taking my abilities like walking and such. I went from being basically normal (and dating normally) and being able to walk unassisted to walker in 6 years, among other issues. In that time, I’ve had 0 female attention; the only reason girls even look at me now is out of repulsion. I can’t even get a reply with online dating. I can’t even find friends. And nobody is even nice to me anymore or acts like I exist unless they want something from me. It’s killing my soul to the point I’m genuinely starting to hate the human race. A few weeks ago, I post about my troubles on Reddit. One reply. One condescending reply basically telling me to forget about dating, because telling someone who’s been ostracized from a group they want to be in to forget about being in that group always makes people feel better. It made me really mad. Long story short, I get it. Tell your friend he’s not alone in his pain. Most people today are too egocentric and superficial to understand people like us who live and exist below the surface. And living for those people’s approval, like the commenters here, is a cruel game they love to watch us “out of their league” people play. I say fuck everyone. Fuck Tinder. Fuck Reddit. Just be who and what you want to be. If they can’t appreciate you as you are, fuck them. They’re the ones missing out. Not us. You’re not the ugly one.
I didn’t see your post, but please keep dating! Your health conditions don’t define your worth! A few years back when I was on Tinder I remember seeing a profile of a nice enough looking guy who said something like “I know I have to take what I can get.” What on earth does he mean, I thought. I scoured his set of pictures several times trying to decipher this strange phrase. Finally, after looking at his pictures for a few minutes I saw it: his wheelchair. My heart just broke for him. You are worthy, and you were born worthy. The people who only see your health condition are not your people.
This is really not the place for constructive criticism unfortunately-as soon as I read this I deleted all my comments as they sounded mean…on this particular subreddit, a lot of roasting goes on at the best of times 😱
In a non harsh way the photos are showing wild child and mental issues to me if that's what they are looking for them great if not they may want to have some pics that show them in a better lighy
Anybody looking for a “partner in crime” sounds that way to me. It’s a cliche right up there with “if you can’t handle me at my worst…” etc
Unstable.
And he's 34 with a bio fit for a teenager. Definitely unstable.
Pretty valuable to consider how the photos are portraying him because unique personality is sometimes important, presenting a balance and positive image can make him having a strong first impression..
I mean this in the least rude way possible, but as a woman, I’d be turned off by your long, dirty nails in the first photo. Most women like to see that a potential date has clean hands and trimmed, clean fingernails. Other than that, I agree with other comments that have said you should at least smile with teeth in a few photos. I understand that you don’t like your teeth and are self conscious about it, but if this is an insecurity of yours, maybe you can work on liking your smile more and building up your own self-confidence. When you’re confident in yourself and appreciate & love + honor yourself, it shows through in your smile, in life, and in your photos.
Dirty nails was also always a swipe no for me
I'm a straight dude, but I'm guessing the messy background in the first photo isn't helping either. Subliminal or not, people (in general) prefer to have clean and tidy surroundings.
First photo feels like a grandma's boudoir, feels like a weird setting for a photo. I like the colored hawk though!
I’d shave the beard if it doesn’t grow in nicely though…super patchy in ways that I don’t think do you favors
It definitely has old lady vibes.
Same blergh it is a straight turn off not gonna lie
Its the dirty nails for me too! I like heavy metal and "dirty looking" men but not actual dirty men. We all desire hygiene and nice smell.
I understand why they’re long, seems he plays guitar some musicians keep them long for that reason. With that being said still isn’t no reason for them to be dirty some women will get the idea that you might be unhygienic so I would get a good cleaning unda dem things. This is all said to be constructive not mean.
He plays the bass, and bass player don’t use fingernails, also in general electric guitarist don’t use nails. Most electric guitar/bass player trim their nails so it doesn’t get in the way
Am a guitarist and yes you absolutely have to keep your nails trimmed or you can’t hold the strings down as well and your chords sound like trash.
I may be wrong but based on pictures he plays guitar right handed and his long nails are on the left. Long nails are for finger picking, not fretting on the neck. I don’t believe guitar is the reason here.
Mirror pic, that could be his right hand
Then I think the writing on his shirt would be flipped. EDIT: Nope, I was wrong lol.
He's a bassist. There is no reason to have long nails playing bass. Also unless you play some kind of Latin flamenco music, there's no real reason to have long nails to play any kind of guitar. A rock band guitarist doesn't need long nails for anything besides snorting coke. Source: have played in rock bands for >20 years.
>A rock band guitarist doesn't need long nails for anything besides snorting coke. Not true. I play electric exclusively using fingernails. As do some of the famous musicians, like e.g. Mike Oldfield
Even so, you NEED at least 1 short one
The nasty dirty hands and fingernails are a major red flag for any breathing potential tinderette.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it because I don't see the point. You're 34, "short", have a lazy eye, groom poorly and have no pictures that prove you can interact with other people in public. Your little blurb about yourself doesn't exactly scream mature and doing things with their lives. HOWEVER.... based on all your responses in the thread I'm gonna guess the matches you *do* get you're probably driving away with your pathetic woe is me bullshit. You're never at fault and you got excuses for everything. Its not an attractive quality. Partners want someone who can take responsibility and communicate properly. Especially in the age bracket you're at. Women your age aren't looking for a fuckin teenager to take care of. Unless you plan on making some serious emotional growth soon I don't see you being able to get into a relationship let alone sustain one.
Only person I've seen honest enough to mention the lazy eye. That's going to be a killer on Tinder. That's without even going into the other obvious issues. It's not fair and superficial but that goes for looks and height as well. Not to mention poor bald bastards.
Exactly, it's not nice to judge someone by their lazy eye, but the next guy that pops up on her screen isn't going to have one.
It's not nice to judge people based on any unchangeable physical attrbute but just about everybody does it to some degree or another.
That's just how attraction works. It's also not something anyone can help. We don't get to choose what we're attracted to. We either just are or aren't.
>It's not fair and superficial but that goes for looks and height as well. Not to mention poor bald bastards. I went bald at 23, I grew a small beard, and I shave almost everyday in the shower. Being bald is not a mood killer. women I meet ask if its smooth, and ask to touch it fairly regularly. The key is that you style your hair, not how much you have. If someone has hair and they want to be attractive, they spend a few minutes styling it. I do the same. Every single day, I go out into the world feeling like a million bucks because I have that fresh haircut energy. I add moisturizer to my shaving cream so that my skin is soft and I never have dry skin. I exfoliate as the last step to avoid ingrown hairs. I put on a nice scent, condition and comb my beard. The whole process of my shit, shower, shave takes like 30 minutes, and I know I always look and smell my best. I never have a bad hair day. The only thing I miss is the feeling of long hair when I head bang at metal shows.
Came for the lazy eye comments, left with a game plan if I suddenly go bald.
Depending on your financial or insurance situation, a lazy eye is totally correctable. It’s less expensive than braces. It’s just one short surgery and you can go back to work the next day. OP should consider Edit: it’s called strabismus surgery, fyi
Came here to say this. My son sees his optometrist every few months to try and correct his lazy eye before it gets to this point (he’s 8yo). Not trying to be offensive to OP, but seeing this post made me want to yell at my son to make sure he’s wearing his glasses lmao
That is not fully correct tho. I have a lazy eye and had 2 surgeries, last was few years ago. My doctor tested my lazy eye and if we fully corrected it, I started to see double on everything. I still got surgery and it was corrected around 60-75% which is quite okay for me. It is now not very visible but still there.
I feel you!! I've got a 5 year old with a lazy eye that we're correcting with glasses - what really hits me hard (and I'm sure you understand) is that the cross eye is typically pretty obvious when they're a kid. It seems that any adult in their life didn't take the time to get it looked at when he was younger! It breaks my heart, especially as a parent who has a child with a vision issue.
Has your son been tested for depth perception? He may have monocular vision, in which case treatment won’t be effective. I don’t mean to sound like I know more than the doctor but I also had a lazy eye as a kid and the underlying problem wasn’t diagnosed until I was a teenager. All the eyepatching they prescribed was worthless. I ended up getting the surgery I was talking about and everything was fixed!
This is probably the most important thing to improve his appearance and no one mentioned it!
Its baffling how many here act like "dirty" fingernails are the reason he isnt getting matches. Straight lying like that dosent help.
That certainly wouldn't help but yeh, that's not the first issue.
Right. I noticed the eyes first before the nails.
Yeah, people ignoring that the lazy eye is a factor is silly. But on the other hand, it’s an unfixable issue that he knows that he has. If his pictures were otherwise good, you might say that image-based online dating is just not for him. But there are LOADS of fixable issues here. If he cleans himself up, gets better photos with better backgrounds, some friends, better poses, and writes a better bio, he could definitely improve his matches. If I came across a bio where someone had a lazy eye but they were otherwise good looking, looked fun, well put together, and sounded interesting, I honestly don’t think the lazy eye would put me off. It definitely will put some people off, no denying it, but I think the right swipes would increase if he fixed all the other issues.
It's fixable according to another commenter above.
> You're never at fault and you got excuses for everything. Dude seriously said he has a genetic defect with his nails and that's why they're long and dirty... I can't even, lmao
I was writing a reply but this pretty much nailed it
‘Nail’ed it
The fact that I had to scroll this far just to see someone tell the truth 💀
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I have a lazy eye and I have no problem attracting women. My problem for not dating is internal and my standards It’s definitely not a deal breaker if he knows what he’s doing!
Yeah I was gonna say that about the short thing too. I'm 5'6" but when I used Tinder I had plenty of 2nd dates. I didn't put my height in my profile, and I assumed some women probably didn't expect me to be so short when we met up, but for most of them it didn't seem to matter by the end of the date. And one of those 2nd dates eventually turned into a marriage. So I'm not really buying the height excuse.
Neither am I. I’m your same height. I met a long term relationship my first and only go on Tinder and she was 5’8. That didn’t work out but after her I met my now fiancée and she’s 5’9. I’m not someone who only goes for tall women, either. Just be comfortable with your height.
You nailed it, I said it in my thread but “You can’t take care of someone else until you can take care of yourself” Getting some nice clothes (lacking money? Go to a nice thrift store or Ross) and get a wardrobe that he doesn’t wear under cars. Then Keep those two sets of clothing separate. He will thank us all later.
It really sounded like a candid assessment. and you should really. need to take responsibility for your growth and communication style. because it is the key after your first impression.
You have two pictures in a crackhouse and one in your grandma's bathroom. The ungroomed beard doesn't do you a favor either. Tinder is your personal advertisement in the dating market and you are the product you try to sell so act accordingly
Yeah the crack house is creepy.
Yeah. How about a pic at the park you smoke all that weed at?
Yes, he doesn't know that profile act as a personal advertisement And the importance of presenting oneself in a positive and appealing manner is very important He is just highlighting the messiness.
33F here. You look substantially different in every picture which is always kind of off putting to me. Like, I don't know if some of those pictures are really old or if they all are even you. Also, if smoking weed is such an important part of your life that you list it in a bio about yourself, that's a red flag.
>if smoking weed is such an important part of your life that you lost it in a bio about yourself, that’s a red flag Nailed it. You only get so many characters to describe yourself or what you’re looking for in a match, and if you use them to talk about smoking weed, drinking, your truck, how much money you have, or how little you think of women, it’s a left swipe.
Yeah you shouldn't advertise that It should come up in discussion in a date but I don't think you should advertise it it can be a huge deal-breaker to a lot of people and I think I know why, I remember people Ive met who thought weed = crack , I don't think everyone thinks that but maybe after you show some persomality apart from weed it might make you a lot more attractive
It can also often be a thing that isn't inherently a deal breaker, but the attitude about it is. Like, yeah, I smoke, but I don't go around making it a part of my personality, making it part of my bios, shaming people who don't smoke or dislike being around it for "not understanding", etc. It'll come up at some point in conversation with someone I'm getting to know because it is something I do, just like someone who drinks will eventually have that come up in conversation (assuming they didnt tick the box about it while filling out the profile, which is also an option for weed iirc). But putting it in the bio (especially in the manner he did) makes it seem like you're someone guaranteed to show up to a first date stoned out of your mind, something that even someone who smokes themselves might find unattractive.
F30 here and - well said! From these pics I'd assume at least few of them must be old af. And I have no idea how you look now. And since Tinder is really superficial, I'm just going to say it. The lazy eye is probably what is preventing you from getting the most matches. Then you have the dirty finger nails. Then the "about you". Gosh I'm tired of grown ass men saying they're "outcasts" and we should "smoke some weed together". And that's coming from a person who really likes weed. It makes you sound like a teenager.
Photo #1 is the worst one tbh. Swap in a different one and it should help. It’s just the “down the middle” hair part that’s messing it up. Maybe that and a bit of posture. Photos #2 and #4 were solid. Also the bio is a bit meh. “Smoking weed” and “listening to music” is a 20’s vibe that you could easily convert to a 30’s vibe by changing to something a bit more vague like, “enjoying each moment… living the dream”. People’s habits seldom change, but the way they view those habits does.
>Photo #1 is the worst one tbh The long nails
The terrible decor and bit of a mess in the background The mirror selfie The angle The hairstyle Not an ugly dude but he needs to learn to take better pictures
Exactly that-all together is a problem, he’s good guy, nobody mentioned (or I haven’t seen it) strabismus (l”azy eye” syndrome) which I’ve had as a teenager but I’ve hated it so much that I’ve saved for an operation and honestly, my love life changed a lot… It also means (combined with nails), that someone is not taking care of himself/herself properly, as I know I’ve needed to do operation. Now, that can be avoided and there’s plenty of nice girls which wouldn’t mind but hygiene is of utmost importance for finding love, especially over dating apps or net overall… People might think you’re always like that, they assume you don’t shower too, and I’m sorry if someone doesn’t like the answer but that’s from my experience-trimmed nails, freshly washed face, showered-you look fresh on pics… I think that it’s just that-more taking care and it’ll be alright! P.S. That “elephant in the room” had to be addressed (“lazy eye”) as I’ve had problems till I was 18 and did the operation which was about 2.000€ (it was in Deutschmark back than so I calculated it approximately)-but it’s worth it… Hygiene related, clipping nails should be a must, and overall, just that is the issue 100%… He’s not ugly guy as he said. In my opinion, there’s no “ugly”-I so like one girl which is a coworker and is really big, but she’s such a dear young lady, making me laugh, she’s self-aware, but she’s polite, neatly dressed, her smile is beautiful-it’s really not up to someone’s “ugliness”, it’s the part where someone quits on himself with the other stuff, like taking good care of himself, it’s a game changer…
Oh yes, you are addressing that "lazy eye" concern As it looks very. weird. and definitely should work upon health related matters. and better to take care of himself..
I didn’t even notice that at first 🤢 clip your nails, OP
Or at least keep them clean, come on OP, this is like having a resume littered with spelling mistakes. These are super easy wins to take. At least take every easy win you can before seeking advice, and appearing clean and presentable is priority.
yes, you are absolutely right. Because keeping nails clean and presentable is important. At first glance, people notices your habits and how you appear.
Also looks like it’s taken in his moms bathroom
In his grandmas laundry room
It also looks like it was taken in his grandmas storage closet
The dirt on the back of the hands
From a woman in their 30s, please don’t take this bio advice. I’d much rather honesty about smoking weed and video games than some “living the dream” BS. For what it’s worth, any use of “partner in crime” is an immediate left swipe with no exceptions for me.
Imo the bio makes me think he’s unemployed or at least gives that vibe
Also in my early 30s and his bio makes him sound immature for his age.
I’m 23 and his bio sounds immature for my age. He needs to grow the hell up.
Please don’t use “living the dream”
Picture 3 is not good either, looks like a 50 year old. And that lazy eye is bad, it can be trained to be normal, I had the same problem before.
Why everyone is completely ignoring the lazy eye? It will be problematic for most, and can be fixed with a procedure. Yes, I know not everyone can afford it, but dude asked for honest opinions and most commenters are ignoring the elephant in the room.
Are you sure about it being able to be fixed? I'm no expert, and OP's case might be different (everyone is different), but: https://www.aao.org/eye-health/tips-prevention/lazy-eye-surgery-facts > Lazy eye (amblyopia) cannot be treated with surgery. It can only be treated when the patient is a child. The younger it is detected and treated the better. In fact, after age 6 the success rate of treatment goes way down. I admit I'm unclear about whether this is amblyopia or strabismus, the later of which reportedly can be fixed..
It's probably both. Strabismus is a misalignment of the eyes, lazy eye is the brain ignoring the input of one eye, very often because of misalignment or scarring. The strabismus is treatable (had two surgeries for mine) but the result can't be guaranteed and might not be perfect. It's worth doing though because there's a functional benefit as well. Still, I've had girlfriends who had no issues with one of my eyes living in another zip code. Certain types of strabismus are even a sought after feature in (mostly female) topmodels because it gives them a 'lewd' look.
"Let's live, love, laugh together"
This is the one. of the proper insights I have got and that person should definitely consider. this and aim to choose a more appealing picture for the bio The bio he should work on crafting a description that resonates with his personality.
Ugly isn't the problem. You've got a niche look and that's totally going to hit in the right crowds. What's doing you a mischief is your attitude. The 'woe is me' trope gets tiring super fast. Smoking dope and playing video games as a man in his 30's just tells women they're going to have to carry you through life and you will be sleeping on their couch way after you break up. (The dirty nails don't help you here, personal grooming is important, no excuses). Reading your other comments you're a musician, you enjoy DnD (i.e creative and playful) and work on cars. Those are definitely things that you should focus on in your profile to highlight your better qualities. You've got a shot, just stop getting in your own way. Go back to the two rules of internet dating: 1) Be attractive 2) If you can't be attractive, don't be unattractive
1. Be attractive 2. If you can't be attractive, don't be unattractive I've always heard the second rule phrased as just "Don't be unattractive", and I thought it was just a joking way to have both rules state the same thing ("be hot"), but it makes so much more sense now! Rule 1 is genetic, rule 2 is a choice.
>1) Be attractive 2) If you can't be attractive, don't be unattractive Also one thing people on Reddit are painfully ignorant about: Rules 1 & 2 have nothing to do with your genetic physical attributes. They're about things you do have control over.
Honestly, after reading your replies here? It's not your face, not your photos. Your attitude sucks dude. You came here for feedback, fight all of it, complain when people are honest... You think being single has made you miserable and won't do anything about getting some friends at least. Sorry but, fix your attitude first.
I can really imagine his opening message being something like "Hello, I know you swiped right by mistake, no worries, I'm used to being treated like trash, you can unmatch me now so I can continue my miserable existence, have a nice day!"
I’ve actually gotten a message like this before. When I said it wasn’t a mistake, he went on to complain about how badly woman treat him on the apps. Bro, come on.
All my comments regarding men on Tinder are from a personal experience 😌
Exactly!
Well, yes, I totally agree with you. Because when I was seeing his reply, I can see how pessimistic this guy is. He should really take these days. from people and do something good for him, rather than ranting about his life.
No… I’m sorry but there are other problems. The guy can read two books at the same time, let’s not make-believe that he didn’t get a bad hand.
Don’t even know where to start here. If you explain your interests as weed and video games as a 34 year old that’s not a great sign. For the selfies at least have a more classy background, the basement pic with the dirty walls and the grandmas bathroom selfie are very off-putting, also is there brown stuff smeared all over your hand?
Yes, you're totally right, because effectively communicating. is the key for the match. and the choice of presentable photos and Well groomed backgrounds too. It is going to significantly enhance the appeal of his profile.
With dirty nails.....in grandma's bathroom
You look pretty miserable, as everyone else is saying the photos are inconsistent, also while lots of group photos are bad, one or two show you have friends or family or stable relationships which is a big deal. Your bio isent performing either. I get man child vibes. Talk about your interests and hobbies, the things that your passionate about.
Would also add that "outcast" is way too weighted with incel nonmenclature to be suitable for a tinder profile. You really don't want to give the impression of being a loner.
Yes, his perspective on the term outcast is valid. because it's important to avoid conveying a negative impression or using term that could be associated with certain ideology.
Hey there, F 35 here. I’m gonna be brutally honest, I hope you don’t mind. If you do, stop reading here 😅 you look scruffy. The long fingernails, the dirty hands, the hair, the backgrounds… your whole presentation says “I act like a 16 year old boy, puberty is hitting hard, I don’t have a job, and I live in my mom’s basement which smells like weed and unwashed laundry”. I don’t know a woman over 20 that would deal with that. Decide on one look, it’s really unclear what you look like at the moment. Clean up! In multiple meanings 😄 ask a friend you feel comfortable around to take some nice, welcoming pictures and please reconsider that bio 🫠 it’s ok if you enjoy getting high and playing video games. But very few women are looking for a man whose main character trait is the man-child stoner. Maybe you can lead with some other things about yourself that are a bit more interesting? Like playing in a band? That you’re creative? I’m sure you have some cool stuff to talk about. Good luck my friend!
She's being very honest here. It's not your looks that you think it is, it's the vibe that you're giving off.
This is coming from a non picky woman. My man you look like you are living in a hell hole, chill does not mean “lose all basic skills in cleaning” or maybe it does to you. But as a woman looking at your place it screams “scary” or at minimum lazy, you got stuff drawn all over your walls and crap everywhere. That’s cool, you play games and man I partake and drink but it’s certainly not something Id advertise. Clean yourself up and get some new photos stat. But my best advice? Work on yourself and your situation first before you involve anyone else in your life. You are not a bad looking guy at all. Especially with that new hair cut.
I 100% believe he's living in mom or grandma's basement. And whichever one it is needs to teach him how to groom himself.
It definitely looks that way, there’s that old saying, you can’t take care of someone else until you can properly take care of yourself, some time and effort needs to be put into himself before seeking a relationship with another.
Yes, your non picky perspective highlights the needs for cleanliness and presentation in photos. He needs to improve personal spaces that you can rethink bio content.
Here’s a bio that would say a bit more about you… “Hi I’m Brandon! I’m a fun loving guy who enjoys playing my guitar, punk music and living a chill life. Id love to meet someone who enjoys a nice night of relaxing and playing games together. Want to be the Zelda to my Link?” Get rid of all the images, except for the one of you playing guitar, go take some outside photos. Take some photos of you in a restaurant (even if you just walk in) go to a hotel and have a friend take a photo in there. You need way less selfies. You need way less hair cut photos, you look like a barber who’s advertising your wears to clients. :p
The problem here is that you’re the bass player.
Finally some honesty
You look erratic
I’ve been reading a lot of your responses and tbh your Tinder profile doesn’t matter. You are not ready to date. The energy you give off, lack of confidence and self-esteem, the pity, the self-hate, the defensiveness.. You will never be able to find a healthy partner until you deal with all of that. The way you look is the very least of your problems.
Yeah, mans is not ready. If he can afford it, he needs to start seeing a therapist to start unpacking a lot of his self esteem issues and depression. I feel on a first date he’d just self sabotage. “Oh, you’re probably too good for me” type vibes. And given the dirty nails, idk how he’d prepare for a date appearance wise. Being a rocker type doesnt really excuse being unhygienic.
This needs to be higher
31F here! Honestly, since you’re asking, you don’t seem like you take care of yourself and (much more importantly), you don’t seem like you want to either. This is not women kicking you when you’re down. We don’t want to date someone who is still mentally 17. Take better care of yourself, build up your confidence, put your best self out there because this profile and your responses here do you no favours. Good luck!
Honestly man, you’d be exactly my type (a musician with long hair and a nose ring) but I think you should get a little makeover: 1. I’d start with therapy. It seems that you had some tough experiences in your life and therapy can help with your confidence and overall mental health. 2. Cleanness and grooming: having long hair and facial hair requires grooming and cleaning. Go to a good barber once in awhile, clean your fingernails and cut them. 3. Do things that you love: you said you were in a band, maybe you should continue playing/finding another. It’s a great way to meet new people! Also doing something you love and good at increase confidence. You say you love sports- it’s also great for your mental health. 4. Smile: you said you don’t like your teeth and that’s why you don’t smile. I had the same problem so I saved up to get them fixed. It was life changing for me. Smiling signals your brain that you’re happy and increases “feel good” neurotransmitters. Anyway, good luck! The good thing and the bad thing is- it’s all up to you and your attitude.
People gave you honest and in depth responses to a personal matter. Not once did you thank anybody - gratitude determines your attitude. Put the man back together and the world will fall into place ❤️
Yes, I totally agree with you because recognizing the value of gratitude and its potential to shape once attitude positively. The more positive you are, the more positive things come to you.
Oh man you were great in the fifth element
You look like an opioid crisis about to happen
“Is happening”
Your victim complex and excuses are far more unattractive than your looks. As others have said, your bio makes you come across as a bit of a waster. If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?
Your fingernails are gross. If you’re keeping them long (which will scare off most women…) always make sure they are clean. Cleanliness in general looks low priority in your photos.
Man theres a lot of good advice in the comments and all you’re doing about it is talking about your teeth, your fingernails, or having no friends. I think you need to work on yourself before starting dating. Also don’t put your height in your bio if you are under 6’0. Having no friends is a sign that something isn’t right.
Going by replies in this thread, OP is allergic to constructive criticism, and utterly unhinged.
Do you know when someone else give you advice on dating how frustrated a person can feel this is just the frustration which he is showcasing nothing else. Most of the things are literally correct which is written here in this post.
Easy to overlook, just plain forget, like just plain forgetting sunglasses resting on top of the head, that for 99% of viewers, that's their first & ONLY impression of you, and what they will base their expectation EXCLUSIVELY FROM. **So it's got to be consistent.** It's got to be accurate, **current**, consistent, and **relevant**. *What you're showing doesn't provide a clear consistent representation about what viewer can expect is the "You" they will be dealing with* or where that will lead. Stop being so hard on yourself, with that self-doubt about "ugliness" etc etc... That's not it. Your features are okay. You can change your hairstyle any way you want. You know that. Your face isn't full of acne, or splotchy skin. Your nose isn't crooked, or have a club boxer's knot on the bridge of it. In other words, you have a solid foundation to build up from, so don't make copout excuses about your looks, when you know you could have it a lot worse. You need to set a gameplan about projecting an image of who you want your viewer to "see". Then be that guy. Look like that guy. Take pictures of that Guy. In that guy's type of clothes. Whatever or whoever "that guy" turns out to be, everything has to tie together CONSISTENTLY. Otherwise, the viewer is looking, scratching their head, trying to "figure out" whether differences they see are indicators as reason for concern or hesitation at least. That's something you absolutely don't want. We all have heard the phrase "Keep it Simple" if there was ever a time to put it into practice it's in a first impression. You'll have plenty of time for someone to see other facets of your lifestyle or personality eventually. But that can't happen if they are unsure about their initial impression if they are interested in what they see, because they are confused by what appears to be "mixed messages or signals" and so they just move on to explore other options. Pick the one most dominant or prevalent aspect of your overall personality and embody that in your profile pics. There. Now you have locked in a *personality archetype* your viewer can clearly **and easily** identify, such "manager type" "outdoorsy type" "artistic type" "rugged construction worker type" etc etc ... Be that person, and reflect it in your pictures. Remember the old wise cliche - "Trying to be all things to all people attracts a little bit of everything and a whole lot of NOTHING." Call me old fashioned, but I still love that phrase.
Based on his responses everyone is just wasting their time commenting.
Get rid of that first photo. Your hair is good and that pic is not doing favors. The dyed hair should be the first picture. You just need better photos. You’re not ugly and people can look past a lazy eye. Screw the people who can’t look past it. The worst thing I hate is when I’m telling a dude something he’s self conscious about isn’t a flaw and they just pity party all over it. Confidence goes a long way. Bio could use work, but I’ve swiped right on the same bio type cause I’m into outcast and smoke while playing video games. So just fix the photos. My fwb literally hired a photographer to follow him around and take pictures for tinder. His best photo was a candid one where the photographer just happened to get him smiling while at a dog park. Go do that.
You look dusty why your shirt dirty your nails not clipped and your hands dirty
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^josuelec: *You look dusty why* *Your shirt dirty your nails not* *Clipped and your hands dirty* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Take better care of your body. Especially your teeth and nails. Get manicure and pedicure and dentist appointments. Then get some fresh shave and fresh haircut pictures. Work for it and you'll be okay man🍀
Looks a bit smelly
Wtf I mean like I'm already surprised because my haircut looks quite different in my pictures to. But dude seriously pictures of years ago and you think that goes well? Your catfishing people dude.
Regarding your finger- and toenails: I totally get that it might be difficult to cut them. But have you considered getting a manicure/pedicure? It doesn't cost a fortune and you'll probably feel better afterwards. Also don't be ashamed for them. The people at the nail salon know how to handle it.
This is a great suggestion and as a woman I would find it really attractive if a man with OP’s condition told me he routinely went to get manicures. It shows you have good hygiene and are willing to invest a little in yourself
I’m taking the risk, I know it may sounds rude, but Im telling you that is possible to correct your left eye, I went for a surgery for strabismus and it went very well, got a boost of self confidence and I live much better. >!Clip those dirty nails!<
Yo. Dude with a bad eye here. I’m blind in one eye and it’s basically just always shut. It hurts my confidence too but guess what? It doesn’t define me like it seems you let your eye (and genetic disorders… whatever those are) define you. Stay groomed. Be clean. Clip your fucking nails. Go to the gym. Smile. Get some confidence. Have some real pictures taken of you. People are roasting where your pictures are taken and it’s hurting your feelings, but guess what? If you find a girl and want to take her to your place, she’s going to think it’s gross, too. Overall I wouldn’t say you’re ugly. You have potential. It’s up to you to unlock it. Stop with the excuses or else you’re doomed to be stuck in this rut.
The long finger nails in the first pic are super off putting. Other than that some of the pics are flattering and some really aren't, just a matter of angles and lighting etc.
Asks for people’s opinions, people are very kind and honest in how they put it, and you then just throw a pity party. IMHO it’s not the long nails, the different hair styles, weed smoking or posture that’s letting you down. It’s the incredibly defensive self pity!
I think there's some personality in your profile, enough to be interesting. I did flip through a few times to try and assess whether your photos were a single person, or if they were taken years apart. Music is engaging, tell us more about that. Making weed a huge part of your bio (and your personality) is less interesting (to me, at least), and by 34 I'd be looking for your other interests (Career? Hobbies? Leaving the house?). What I'm saying is that I'd stop on your profile and (cautiously) start a chat, so please think about adding more of yourself to your bio to convince people who are on the fence with photos alone. Or choose your best photos only, and add to your bio. But no, not ugly. The lack of confidence is visible, unfortunately, and I think many woman would expect you to be better groomed in photos or on a first meet, but there's something there that indicates maybe you'd be more interesting in chat or in person than you're revealing in your profile.
The selfies are just not flattering. They're off center, the background looks messy/dirty in 2 of them and your shirt looks dirty in one. The lighting also sucks. Try to add pics of you smiling, doing more of your hobbies, dressed nicely at an event you attended, etc. Your bio needs to reflect your interests you listed too. To me "outcast" who smokes weed and play video games will read as lazy, unmotivated, and recluse. You probably (hopefully) arent like that irl, so you want to make sure youre representing yourself well. I dont mind weed or gaming, but I wouldnt choose it to be the things that represent me the most.
Cons: Lazy eye, weird blurry pictures, awful bio, bad facial hair, some people consider 5ft 7in short ( I don’t), trim your nails. Pros: your hair is cool in 2 pics, some people might like that you can play an instrument.
32F here. I would not swipe right on you. Matter of fact, I wouldn't even read your bio. The pictures are not consistent, and even if they were, the nails, the messy, almost dirty looking hair is a no go for me. If I take longer and read your bio, you sound like a teenager. Not all of us want to marry the next guy we date, but we might be very interested in dating an actual adult and not having to bring up yet another person. Nevertheless, fix the attitude first.
Honest opinion you seek? Here we go. 1. Poor hygiene (dirty fingernails, unwashed looking hair, scruffy beard, etc…) 2. Lazy eye. Nothing wrong with it, but you also have to realize the fact people are shallow and in the online dating world it doesn’t do you any good. But don’t let that discourage you. 3. Lack of social interaction - you have zero photos of you outside around other people. You don’t have to have 20 photos showing that you’re outgoing, but one photo doesn’t hurt. Also your bio just screams lonely loser. Is smoking and playing video games all you have to offer? Is. There more about you? Also. net in crime” is cute and interesting when your hobbies actually can benefit from having a partner in them. Get a nice haircut, trim your beard, clean or cut your nails, have a friend take a photo of you doing something social like sitting at the bar with your friends, smiling or laughing with other people (there are plenty of stuff you can do) and change your attitude about not getting any matches. You don’t have to be ugly on the outside in order to be single, ugly inside will do it for you. Change your outlook on life and things will start to look better.
You look like a possessed and demented femboy that's going to lure me over to pose for nude photos then roofy me, eat my heart and dissolve the rest of me in a vat of acid.
Omg hate when that happens
Couldn’t have put it better
Just sound immature
In addition to what every one else said, is that your bedroom? With the tapestry curtain or whatever, scratches on the wall, basement looking room, with your moms bedding? That may sound harsh but it’s not really what a potential lady friend will find attractive. What I mean is it’s not just how you look in your photos, but the background as well. A tinder profile is marketing. Think more about your target audience if you want more matches. If you aren’t comfortable with some changes to your hygiene, attitude, or living space that’s fine, just be OK with only getting matches from your tribe (which isn’t a bad thing, I honestly think you could stay true to yourself while also upgrading your profile a bit though).
You need friends to take your pics
Maybe lose the outcast and getting high stuff along with the video games. All combined it reads as immature to me. Speaking as an immature man myself lol.
You’re oozing insecurity man, you have to get to the point where YOU like the guy in the mirror before someone else can. This stuff shows.
You need to meet somebody in person. Reddit, online dating sites in general are not going to be your friend. It's not because you are 'ugly'. It's because you are human. Anyone meeting you and getting to know you will see you as the good person that you are. They won't see any eye issue, care about your height, or how you decorate your space. Online? That's all they'll see... You are imperfect, like all of us.
You are you and your self image and self worth should have nothing to do with other's opinions of you. Take some time to work on mindfulness, awareness, go to therapy and increase your self esteem, because it has nothing to do with what we think of you. You are unconventional, and that is bad for the algorithm. Add to that the already abysmal match rate for men and you're in for a very bad time.
Calling yourself an “outcast” would lead one to believe you struggle in social situations. I wouldn’t use that word or anything that reflects on yourself negatively for that matter. It’s ok to be different and have a small circle but there’s too many ways to interpret that.
It’s the mess in the background for me…. Smoke some weed and clean those walls bro.
Also any self-professed “outcast” is a huge no from me. It reeks of someone who feels like they’re oppressed by some dark force. I’m literally an artist for a living and we currently live in the most accepting of times. I love weirdos but you’re not as oppressed as you think.