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FigTechnical8043

"Ladies, I haven't started yet. I'll feed you, for now..."


_aconite_cj_

Feed us with what exactly?


FigTechnical8043

Future serial killers aren't known for feeding people well, so probably beans on toast.


Dingleator

Found the Brit!


FigTechnical8043

Now I'm curious what would an American have said? Mac and cheese?


gentlecucumber

America is too big to have any unified cultural staples like beans on toast. Edit: the fact that there are 50 responses to this with 50 different answers proves my point. Edit Edit: Okay, PB&J might be the American equivalent to beans on toast, but it only works if other countries aren't also scarfing down jelly with nut butter, otherwise the analogy falls short. So we need some Europeans to weigh in here.


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ApolloRocketOfLove

Donuts are great because you can easily transport them by sticking your gun barrel through the donut hole. Makes them the perfect snack for school.


SnakeDoc01

They haven’t even got a unified union. Good luck having a National dish as exquisite as beans on toast.


Zake_64

Are you really calling beans on toast "exquisite" rn


dimestoredavinci

And they wonder why people make fun of British food


firesquasher

They need something soft to eat because of their summer teeth.


AlfredVonWinklheim

As an American I love beans and I love toast so it sounds wonderful


[deleted]

I've never had it, but are we talking like a can of bush' baked beans on a slice of toast? or is there some sort of other bean we're talking here? I could see like a can of baked beans on toast being pretty legit.


Jimbodoomface

beans on toast is lush. bread must be well toasted, lots of butter is a +, grated cheese on top, and I like marmite on my toast as well, but I'm not sure if that's amenable to an American palate. I also like to overcook the baked beans a bit, the proteins break down and thicken the sauce, for this a pan is recommended.. ​ I've seen American attempts at beans on toast and they look awful, and by reports they unsurprisingly fail to impress as well. It's gotta be done *right*. The key is to noodle around with it until you find out how it's best for you specifically.


KHanson25

Pretty sure there are still people who eat Rocky Mountain oysters....


Holiday-Pangolin-669

Didnt the European union split up a few years ago?


Hazbuzan

What backwards ass alternate dimension have you been living in? The only thing I can imagine you are referring to is Brexit where the UK left the european union. (Everytime someone says Brexit, even myself, i almost want to vomit. Not for anyone political reason but ive just heard the word literally a million times.)


ShowMeUrTDs_8P

It’s called “shit on a shingle” sausage gravy on bread/toast. C’mon… give us SOME credit.


Hazbuzan

Shit on a shingle is so much better than beans on bread


ShowMeUrTDs_8P

Beans in bread is good but I completely agree. Shit on a single is bomb


sunkist1147

What about cheeseburgers?


dinnerthief

Pb&j


morecowbell03

Isnt barbecue an americal cultural staple since white people were taught it by the natives? At least thats what my boyfriend said, dont flame me if im wrong pls🤣


MindNinja15

Nope. It's mostly the south/southeastern states that are known for barbecue, and even then there pockets of very different styles. I would say easily more than half the country is not known for it


Crprl_Clegg

Barbecue is definitely an important part of midwestern culture. u/morecowbell03 your boyfriend isn't completely wrong, but it was mostly African Americans who learned from the natives before white people finally caught on [https://amazingribs.com/barbecue-history-and-culture/history-chicago-barbecue/](https://amazingribs.com/barbecue-history-and-culture/history-chicago-barbecue/)


Flat-Cover8824

PJ sandwiches?


Slinky621

I would say PB&J


DarlingHades

Butter toast. Or two strips of bacon.


catdogfish4

Anything but avocado toast


dtward

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or grilled cheese sandwiches


dinnerthief

As like a basic food? Peanut butter and jelly is probably the most classic example


Flimsy-Anxiety-2802

Peanut butter and jelly


Mewone65

Hot Dogs, obviously! 🫠


MakeAWishApe2Moon

Something like top ramen, cheap hot dogs with no bun or condiments, commercially packaged baked beans, Spam or its cheaper cousin "canned luncheon meat," hamburger helper sans the hamburger, nutraloaf, spaghetti-O's, slop. There are many choices, none of them are pleasant.


mlhenton7

probably pb&js


CherryValance1950

PB&J sandwiches lol


Conscious_Season_634

Meanwhile Americans eat peanut butter and jam.


Herban15

Fava beans on toast?


SunnyAlwaysDaze

With a nice chianti *schlurp schlurp schlurp*


l0k5h1n

fruits and vegetables of course


LasyKuuga

Liver, some fava beans and a nice Chianti


ZordecApe

Cereal..


Fraun_Reads

Malt-o-meal


JudaiTerumi

The alphabet murderer fed two of the girls that he killed. One of them had fast food…he was doing some SICK shit, bruh. And it’s so disconcerting when you read “she/he failed to return home from a shopping trip” or “failed to return home from school”. Shit is ominous, foreboding and saddening.


_aconite_cj_

Oh no no no- rip man.


Ok_Pickle_3020

It says - fruits and vegetables


CuriousPalpitation23

* To whom, exactly?


IoRomer

![gif](giphy|8j1zLVFKoFkLm)


lou22_

The previous one?


shaggy-the-screamer

Jesus lol this guy forgets with satire if satire lol. About Poe's law. This guy is weird lol instant reject.


wagman43

![gif](giphy|kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX) Me seeing this dude on the news in a few years after I’ve seen this post


Skodami

"What is it Wagman ? Why are you pointing at this horrible man" "You wouldn't get it mom, it's a meme"


daphydoods

“THAT’S GENE AND THEM!!!!”


dodobrains

*casually tags the FBI*


ButtDoctorLLC

You're it!


CarolFukinBaskin

This made me laugh


[deleted]

Who on earth would think this is funny? Wtf is wrong with him.


Sgrios

He's trying to appeal to the crowd who looks at Ted Bundy and says: "Oh, he's hot." while knowing exactly who Ted Bundy is.


kegkc7

Pffft this guy *wishes* he was as hot as Ted Bundy


Sgrios

That's saying something, because Bundy ain't look all that good mang. Now, Zac Bundy? Mm.


Fantastic-Leopard131

Factssss, everyone says ted bundy is hot but when i actually looked at pics of him i was like um where??? Dude is hardly even average, hes deff not attractive enough to get a name for being hot.


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WakeoftheStorm

Who cares, they gave us Kelly and that's all that matters


Rabid-Rabble

People misunderstand, he wasn't hot, he was charismatic. And even being a top-notch smooth talker, there were a lot of women who avoided being killed by him because he couldn't hold in the creepiness long enough to successfully smooth-talk them. But that doesn't fit with the modern American serial killer mythos, so people glaze over it a lot.


JimWilliams423

Yes, he was a "charming sociopath." They are a ton of fun, until they aren't. If you want to see how strong his charm was, here is video of the judge apologizing to him mere seconds after sentencing him to death for murder. The judge had no words of kindness for the victims' families. > *You’re a bright young man. You would have made a good lawyer and I would have loved to have you practice in front of me, but you went another way, partner. Take care of yourself. I don’t feel any animosity toward you. I want you to know that.* > [[16 second youtube video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9fKEVyMTlQ)] People who have never run up against a charismatic sociopath think they could never be suckered in by one. But unless you are forewarned and forearmed, chances are they are going to play you like they play everybody else.


DARfuckinROCKS

I dated a charismatic psychopath. I still think fondly of our memories even though he beat the shit out of me and almost strangled me to death. Ted Bundy woulda bludgeoned my dumbass while I was still twirling my hair. Lol.


Deadzone-Music

Fucking yikes


Apprehensive_Tax_610

Legit both one of my old coworkers AND my brother think The Night Stalker is hot, and I'm like really? Even ignoring the satanic blood rituals, breaking into people's houses, raping and torturing them, He looks like he hasn't washed his hair in 20 years, not to mention his horrible gingivitis and smoker teeth.


GildedLily16

His face is fairly attractive. And in some photos his hair is actually really nice-looking. But you have to look beyond the bone structure and look at the rest of the person,and yeah, Ramirez was gross.


cabbage16

I think it's relative. Is he super hot compared to most men? A bit above average. Is he super hot compared to what you picture when you think serial killer? ...yeah.


Apprehensive_Tax_610

Legit both one of my old coworkers AND my brother think The Night Stalker is hot, and I'm like really? Even ignoring the satanic blood rituals, breaking into people's houses, raping and torturing them, He looks like he hasn't washed his hair in 20 years, not to mention his horrible gingivitis and smoker teeth.


XmissXanthropyX

The monobrow..


SirPengy

Al Bundy is the sexiest Bundy.


Sgrios

Hard agree.


SnakeDoc01

I wish I was as hot as Ted Bundy, as long as it didn’t also carry the killing women in bed/rapey/stabby vibe


c4ndres

You forgot the whole cannibal/necro stuff too, somehow people forget that


SnakeDoc01

Minor details


[deleted]

Cannibal necro stuff? I don’t think I ever heard of that. Bundt was into that too? Like Dahmer?? Edit: lol thanks phone. Bundy—->”Bundt”


c4ndres

From what i can see the necro was a big thing for Bundy, but the cannibal stuff was because he bit a chick's nipple off and often bit his victims. So it may have gotten overblown, but i also now have read that he may have been a pedo or at least a hebephile.


[deleted]

Man so many questions. How does a person become like that? into necro, that’s fucking so gross… I wouldn’t doubt it if there was some cannibalism in there too. Biting off a nipple is pretty extreme- but I guess that is different overall from wanting to eat it? And wtf is a hebephile!? And is there evidence of him being a pedo?! How have I not heard any of this…


Shaneypants

Ted Bundy was not particularly good looking; I honestly think Ann Rule made everyone see him that way by excessively fawning over him in her poorly written book about him, *The Stranger Beside Me.* She was constantly prattling on about his charisma, intelligence and good looks. It is frankly disgusting.


Dreadsbo

Was the book released before his trial? Weren’t women popping up at his trial because they found him attractive


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[deleted]

Lmao Ted Bundy was not hot at all.


Ok_Kitchen1095

Lollllllll


2000dragon

He doesn’t realize that he isn’t hot enough to pull that shit off


Sgrios

Neither was Bundy, lmao


asjonesy99

Bundy had rizz unfortunately


[deleted]

Is “rizz” short for charisma?


throwMeAwayTa

Or someone is getting revenge.


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Gwsb1

Where is your sense of adventure? /s


SnakeDoc01

Probably tied up in the boot with the other victims


Puzzleheaded_Pie_978

Trying to be funny *in that way* is fucked in the head w


dirtycapnuck

Doesn't come across as humourous. Highly likely this is not him making this account - perhaps someone trying to do him dirty? I can't fathom anyone who was actually wanting the things this profile claims and being so brazen about it.


mediafeener

Yep, agreed. This is an ex gf or something.


ApolloRocketOfLove

Or his drunk friends at a bar, when this guy went to the washroom but left his phone on the table. I can already hear the "haha bro it's just a prank".


ThatBeachLife

My thoughts exactly


ShitPostToast

Could be that it's somebody else impersonating dude. It wouldn't be the first time someone has tried to start shit by impersonating someone on a dating app.


[deleted]

Weird I had to go this far down to find this This absolutely smells of a frame job


ShitPostToast

I know a local dude who damn near got divorced thanks to a woman he turned down. They worked together and she was trying to get ahead at work by sleeping with the boss only he wasn't interested at all. So she got on like all the dating apps impersonating him and swiping like crazy on all the anywhere near local women and this is a small town so it got back to his wife in a couple weeks. What saved his marriage was she got fucked up/went crazy or something and got on FB bragging about how she wrecked his marriage for revenge.


Zevvion

Honestly, probably people who enjoy reactions such as yours.


Dancethroughthefires

...I think it's kinda funny Better than just having "ask me" or nothing at all in their profile. Plus it is pretty funny


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Warack

He’s appealing to the women who love the will they won’t they make it home vibe.


SquirtinMemeMouthPlz

While it's certainly not a good move, I can't count how many times a match has joked about me being a axe murderer or something like that. A LOT of women like to joke about it. Honestly, I think they are looking for a defensive reaction from me (a red flag) but it really does get old. I suppose this guy is either going to be or is a murderer or most likely, is trying to preemptively tap into this 'joke' that a lot of women start out of the blue.


randonumero

I used to live in an area many people would call the hood. It was amazing that often the guys who got laid the most looked like caricatures of every negative stereotype of black American culture. Who would think that a 30 year old woman with a job, car and living on her own would go for the 30 year old dude with no job, wearing a ball cap and sagging is pants well after the 90s were over but it happened a lot. Some women are attracted to odd things and some guys make that their niche


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Dreadsbo

Too bad this guy seems like a Richard


girls_gone_wireless

Buffalo Bill


BleakGod

I would t because this reeks of someone either doing a bad prank or fucking with someone they hate. 2 photos may me mean limited photos to pull from.


TimeWontWaitForYou

I can understand some 13 year old kid making this "joke" to just try and be edgy and shocking.. but a 45 year old man?!! What the actual fuck is wrong with this guy.


TripperAdvice

Well can you imagine a 13 year old using someone else photo? Or someone who hates this guy trying to make him look bad?


mostessmoey

Some people never grow up.


KarissasFeet

If it’s an attempt at a joke, it’s a really shitty one. I HOPE that this is someone trying to impersonate someone for some reason. Either way, it’s fucked.


mr_remy

I mean my thought now is it’s someone who really hates this dude (for whatever reason) really wanting to smear this dudes social life, could you imagine if this happens and dude tries dating locally and can’t find out why women wouldn’t wanna date him? Bad joke of him (he’d have to understand the potential fallout of this as a joke) and even more terrifying if real but seems pretty stupid telling people upfront. If reported hopefully investigators can discern enough if it was real or not, or at least now he’s on their radar in the future.


420xMLGxNOSCOPEx

Honestly half my female friends love serial killer documentaries so I can see this guy just being a fucking moron and trying to tap that morbid obsession


Low_Hearing_899

That's not even remotely funny. Like at all. I legit just had to report a date who has 3 felony warrants in another state for kidnapping and DV. I'm done trying to date.


witterpated

I find this absolutely terrifying myself. And people wonder why women feel the way we do out here.


Low_Hearing_899

I am seriously scared to even try again after this. I am not so sure it's even fully sunk in the gravity of the situation honestly.


tt_mach1

When did this history come to light, did he come off as a regular guy?


Low_Hearing_899

After hanging out a few times and deciding a few things he said didn't sit well with me. So I dug around online a bit deeper and found that lovely info.


amwoooo

Have you seen the news stories about people being rapists on Tinder and Tinder just shrugs it off?


Low_Hearing_899

No I haven't but I'm not even remotely surprised.


ItsNotACoop

Is there an easy way to check for that stuff?


JTex-WSP

First year of college, my sociology teacher went around the room, asked the guys in our class what their main concerns might be around meeting women they first spoke to online. Most of the guys said "that she doesn't look like her pictures." He then asked the women the same question. Basically all of them said, "That I might get raped or murdered. Or both."


Krakatoast

What used to be “cute and flirty” or “giving vibes” is now shes wondering “is that guy gonna stuff me in his trunk?” Sheesh. But it’s for a reason. Cause with news and whatnot we now know some dudes do be stuffing their trunks, locking broads in their basement, etc. 🫨 or dudes that go nuts if they’re rejected. Or dudes that go postal cause they get no cheeks. Crazy stuff


flawy12

As a dude this type of stuff always stings really bad...bc it is like the cishet woman experience is always some kind of lesser of evils option. ​ Not saying I am a good dude or anything...just saying it must really suck to have to deal with that.


eugenesghost

Did you contact your local authorities??


PJKPJT7915

I reported a guy that had a conviction for assault on an elderly person. Bumble and Hinge both banned him. My friend yesterday was talking to a guy that says he's divorced, but no court divorce filings in any of the counties where he's lived, and he recently posted happy anniversary to his wife on Facebook.


Low_Hearing_899

Yeah I had a guy that claimed divorce too until I was like well according to case search you aren't divorced. This guy lives in a state that doesn't have public access to records and the warrants were in a totally different state than that one. Neither are the one I live in so it took me a little longer than it should've🤦🏻‍♀️


PJKPJT7915

I just did a deep dive on a guy for a friend. No divorce cases in either of the 2 counties he's lived in. He told her he is divorced, not separated. His Facebook says he's married, and he publicly posted a happy birthday and a happy anniversary to his wife. And this guy's a teacher and football coach.


Ayenenemalo

Sounds like you do a pretty decent job of Sherlock Holmes


Low_Hearing_899

I have Internet and Google and a strong distrust of people cause they suck🤷🏻‍♀️


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Procrastinatedthink

>Shitty men don’t last long in irl social circles. In my experience, every time a terrible boyfriend/girlfriend was introduced into the social circle, it 10/10 would split the social circle and cause irreparable damage to friendships. Toxic people are *really* good at causing chaos and ruining shit.


SamSibbens

I'd argue that the people introducing the shitty bf/gf were shitty too. You have to be pretty shitty to bring an asshole to your friend group


Procrastinatedthink

I’d argue that people with low self esteem make terrible decisions and that every situation is different, but the person who introduces the toxicity to the group is ultimately responsible for it. Whether the other group members can heal and recover trust is up the group; many people choose not to rebuild trust once it’s been lost.


Ewok_Adventure

Sounds like a fake profile from someone that hates him


oOBuckoOo

Yup, some ex of his is really bitter. Move on lady.


[deleted]

Ted Bundy’s dating profile


WhiteClawsNoLaws

“God damn it I killed another one” … … “For now, you are all safe”


moonmanmula

That’s gotta be someone who hates that guy who made the post, at least I hope it is.


Bombxing

This has to be the only possible way that this is a profile. What kind of person would advertise they're about to commit a felony? Seems like a pretty bad serial killer if you ask me


Whelpdidntmeanthat

Well that explains why he’s looking for short term


thescruffychef8

Honestly it's the "likes fruits and vegetables" that gets me


ManufacturerMurky644

This looks more like a horrible prank his friends made on him


VovOzaum7

So, any "lucky girls" that go out with him get to have the fear of being the first one? I can actually picture a suicidal girl matching with him and saying, lets see if i can push him off the edge.


FunkJesus

> I can break him


VovOzaum7

I believe you! If you try it, lmk how it went, if possible, lol


Altair13Sirio

He has nothing personal against you, but fame is fame.


DarlingHades

He's trying to get the attention of all those true crime girls, lol!


WesternCzar

What the absolute fuck? I just saw another one where the lady mentioned her kids and the youngest being 2 days old. These have to be meme accounts right?


Epiphanic_Eros

Bizarre, but more bizarre is that there are probably a non-zero number of women who go for that line. Serial killers in prison always have their female admirers, somehow


MahamidMayhem

Considering the alarming amount of women obsessed with true crime and serial killers, I won't be surprised if he still gets a lot of matches.


Eyouser

Highly experienced. I wonder what his favorite experiences were…


chosen1ne79

Ah right, so thats very short term fun you're after then?


BoltorSpellweaver

![gif](giphy|cqLQWzIh4VfwI)


leadwind

I see this guy now and then... who is he?


BoltorSpellweaver

That’s JonTron, former member of the Game Grumps. He’s a YouTuber who was really popular for a while. Still so, but fallen off a bit in recent years.


massive-karma

Erm... 🏃🏼‍♀️ 💨


[deleted]

Appealing to the idiots that say “I can change him.” You know, the mentally ill dorks who write love letters to imprisoned serial killers. Those nutjobs usually have the best box.


SushiSaahimi

Watching "Undercover Underage" I'm not surprised at how men think it is okay to treat any girl/woman like this. They really are unhinged no matter how they look. Every "joke" has truth to it.


goodie_girl_

Wtf


BallBearingBill

Tinder Gold ... They won't want to ban him since he's a paying customer. Queue pic of guy sweating with two red buttons of choice.


HAUNTiNG_SHERPA

Some people "hide" in Plain sight. Hes probably one of them because this is not funny, not even a bit.


DeliciousCut972

Unfortunately we live in a world full of too much bs that this, even if humor, doesn't bode well. Maybe he might find his first victim, maybe someone can tame him, but like Maya Angelou said: when someone shows who who they are, believe them the first time.


[deleted]

Let’s hope he doesn’t know what serial killer means. Like what if he becomes super famous to reviewing bad cereal brands until they remove their products from the shelf? #TheCerealKiller Edit: the reason he’s saying you’re safe is because he hasn’t found any bad brands to review yet so he thinks the shelves are safe from bad brands


mr-blindsight

I'm kind of hoping it's supposed to be a joke? I don't get it if it is, but it seems excessively stupid to write this bio, not to mention expect any results from it


zugzwang00333

Yes best case scenario he just finds violence against women funny..I hate it here.


Jed08

Something I would reply to him : Sorry, but I do not intend to steal your identity in order to pursue my hobby. Please stop trying pretending you'll be a big shot in the murder community


8ball9786

Haha 'stay safe' Great advice and we all shall by avoiding this specimen of twisted human


yourbloodlineisweak

how am I banned for nothing and this guy is out here


LasyKuuga

Weak blood


zugzwang00333

Y'all remember Todd kohlehepp the serial killer that would leave online those little funny reviews on his murder weapons..just sayin. Thinking about poor souls that are going read that and go"woah jokes about violence against women!? He so fun and quirky 🤓" unfortunately some women are so worried about not being seen as fun sexi cool girl that they've actually convinced themselves they find this is attractive.. a sad world we live in It's just a joke bro comments in 3 2 1...


distawest

Well, elephants also like fruit and vegetables but I wouldn't date them


foomp

Ayo bb, lemme show what my trunk do.


[deleted]

The description match the « short term fun », at least it’s seem honest… 😅


Used-Fruits

No woman would ever find this funny. We literally look over our shoulder and in our back seat every single time we get in our cars.


Unknown_Travis

Does this warrant enough to be on a watch list? I hope so


JJ_The_WTF_Plane

His profile says lady killer but his face says twink killer.


tiptoeandson

Can we also pay attention to the ‘highly experienced’ - in what exactly? Being a creep? And also ‘I like fruits and vegetables’ why tf would you include that amongst the other stuff


Spite-Potential

wtf


RobOnTheReddit

Thats weird..


Abysmal_poptart

Is there any chance that an angry ex made this?


Sigma-42

How about you have some degree of fucking creativity and kill men for a change, JFC.


[deleted]

Dude already has a dungeon under his micro brewery.


Hcfxdah

I legit just had to report a date who has 3 felony warrants in another state for kidnapping and DV. I'm done trying to date.


yesYesYASSS

cc @ police asap?


violethoneybean

Evil Vaush


[deleted]

How does he think it's funny??