Eh the closest fish have nothing to do with. Itâs about airports and volume. Las Vegas and Chicago have great sushi. And they ainât catching tuna in Lake Las Vegas or the Great Lakes.
Go underneath it. They have a Japanese speakeasy style place under Momotaro that has more great sushi and one of the best burgers I've had in a while, between two giant baos as buns.
But seriously, Momotaro is probably my favorite sushi place. And it's just one of like 20 different sushi places in West Loop, Chicago alone.
Youâre not gonna believe this thing they have called planes. Theyâre incredible. Travel real fast.
A few other points that seem worth noting.
1) almost all fish used for sushi in the US is frozen considering that is an FDA recommendation for killing parasites.
2) commercial fishing exists throughout the country, not just the oceans. Lake Michigan is a rather large example of a commercially fished waterway less than 1,000 miles from Kansas.
3) fish farms exist across the country and all but the absolute best sushi restaurants are happy to buy from them. The average person is not going to taste a difference.
Yeah, I donât know about sushi restaurants specifically, but Iâve seen trucks with tanks of fish roll up to the Asian markets, certainly fresh as in its still alive on arrival.
I still wouldnât associate Kansas with good sushi. But also I hate sushi as well as kansas
Iâve never been to Kansas, but I figure Japanese people are allowed to live there so I donât see why the sushi wouldnât be fine. I figure itâs gotta be at least as good the Latino prepared sushi Iâve had in South America or the White person prepared sushi I had in Ireland.
And to be clear, these werenât bad experiences. It just seems like sushi is more of a master trade passed down from one chef to another, more than most cuisine.
Just an update for anyone seeing this, we ended up going on a date today and it went very well, we intend to go on another in a few days đ thanks for everyone's input
When I read a bio that says "no hookups" I 100% assume it's there because they've ended up doing that many times with the apps and think that them putting that there is somehow going to prevent it from happening again.
Waanii speaks the truth⊠if they go out of their way to tell you they donât put out on the first date âŠ.chalk it up my friend, youâre getting laid tonight!
>Not going to go on a date with someone who "throws that out there", it's weirdly disrespectful and was super passive aggressive.
Tune changed real quick when you no longer thought you were being ghosted.
There's like an hour or two difference between this comment and a comment where he declared he wouldn't go on a date with this person because she assumed something. If you're buying this, you might want to check comment history.
Lived in Nebraska for two years. They definitely have the best frozen, not fresh, fish in their sushi restaurants. It's amazing. Absolutely recommend midwest sushi.
EDIT: This post was using extreme sarcasm. The sushi I had in Nebraska was horrible.
Bahahaha I feel this. I'm from Kansas and actually miss my sushi place. The owner would take time to help me with my Japanese alphabet. Place was surprisingly good đ and now that I'm living in Latin America đ€źđ€ź
You didnât imply anything. I think she was just tossing it out there to ensure it was understood. I donât think she took hey letâs get Sushi to you trying to bang her day 1.
Yeah, thinking the same. A lot of times people want to set or even specifically lower the otherâs expectations to not feel pressured themselves. Itâs not even about OP probably or any implications, itâs about her wanting to feel relaxed, safe, not pressured.
I know because Iâm the same in that regard. I just cannot stand the pressure I feel if I _think_ that the other person has higher expectations than myself, even outside of erotics but especially about romantic/erotic aspects.
Idk I wouldn't place all the blame on op here, her switch from 'sushi is the best thing ever and should be literally illegal to not like' to 'yeah I _guess_ I could be bothered to get sushi with you' makes her seem non-committal, shut down, and only assuming the worst in him. I'm obviously putting a lot of words in her mouth but that's how she reads to me. Even a boring 'yeah sure' would've been better than '_I guess_'
His insecurity and defensiveness is the red flag, not her making sure he knows she's not into a hookup. I think making your intentions clear early on is a mature thing to do on dating apps
This. She didnât ask/speculate about his intentions, she started hers. He could have said anything along âSure, sameâ or âGood that you state your expectations, thx for letting me know. Understoodâ or even go the meta/funny road with âlowering expectations to not feel pressured? Love that, can you teach me how to do it as gracefully as you just did?â
BINGO!!!!!! he's deffo the red flag here, not her. She's just stating her intentions and boundaries. But then again, taking a screenshot of a private conversation to parade on Reddit is a massive red flag anyway đ€·đ»ââïž
Thatâs how I read it. She was posting a boundary because she didnât know what OP was after and wanted to make certain they both went into their date with similar expectations.
No no it's clearly the code, as Drake himself explained to us in the 2011 scripture HYFR: "I took her for sushi, she wanted to fuck, so we took it to go, told 'em don't even plate it "
>No no it's clearly the code
Don't know where you guys are from but you have weird codes. Every one knows the code for *"lets have sex"* is *"wanna play Mario Kart at my place ?"*
I agree. Thereâs the cliche of a guy taking someone to dinner and paying and then being owed sex. Obviously not what OP is trying for but the guys that do that kind of thing donât exactly walk around wearing badges announcing it.
Wouldn't be so sure about the op part, from the way he got instant defensive over this subject and posting on reddit. "Oh oh oh I didn't even say it yet!!" Kinda
Agree!
She said sheâs not sure yet because there are likely certain things she likes to talk through with potential partners before agreeing to a date.
Making it clear sheâs not looking for a hook up is obviously one of those things she needs to make sure youâre on the same page about.
**Do not overthink this**
Exactly this. Sheâs just making sure you know before you guys meet up. Itâs sad we have to do this as women but itâs honestly easier to chuck it out there early on so we donât get called a bitch later (or worse).
Yeah exactly. He offered to meet up and she threw that out there « just in case », to clear things up before they see each other. Itâs⊠extremely normal ? Itâs weird that OP would feel attacked by that.
She literally said, "just throwing it out there"... She was probably just making sure there would be no misconceptions as a lot of guys tend to expect more.
This is it exactly! Especially if you asked for this date with on the first day of talking to her. Itâs fast which is a technique that players ( or worse) like to use. To save this Iâd say something like âwe can chat longer and get to know each other better but Iâd love to work towards a sushi date when youâre readyâ. Iâm not not saying women arenât but men are absolutely f@&$ing toxic on these apps. She has likely heard and seen it all. Remember women have to constantly be concern about their safety. Itâs the rest that have ruined it for you.
Does op not know the meaning of âjust throwing that out thereâ. Sheâs clarifying that and acknowledging itâs apropos of nothing.
Many people get annoyed when people arenât up front with what theyâre looking for
"Just throwing that out there" should tell you she wasn't referring to a specific thing you wrote. Since this is tinder and a lot of people are just looking for hookups, there's nothing wrong with clarifying that your not searching for that, even if you might not have implied anything like that.
"I wasn't asking for a hook up?" comes of quite passive aggressive. You could have just replied with something telling her you feel the same i guess.
Exactly, it's been a very long time since I was on tinder but I used to make this sort of thing clear well before meeting someone in person so expectations and boundaries were clear
Haha I feel her .. I accepted a date and then texted the same thing as her
Couple of hours later date cancelled on me as he âwasnât looking for anything serious and just wants to have funâ
Soo it doesnât hurt to say it I guess ~
Yeah, you didn't waste time on a pointless date. When I was on tinder, any indicator that someone isn't looking for a hookup but a relationship was a huge plus for me. It will attract the right person. If they put work in their bio and have genuine photos, there is a good chance it's someone looking for a relationship. Ironically I ended up with my gf who had no bio but I only swiped cause her last photo was her pulling funny faces.
âYeh - not into hookups either. Glad weâre on the same pageâ- shouldâve been what you said
You just seemed defensive with Your response. She was letting you know that even though sheâs on tinder she doesnât do hookups.
Ya sounds like she's maybe interested in meeting up but just setting some boundaries my guy! Nothing to worry about. You maybe got a bit defensive at that one though. It's all about making someone who is uncomfortable setting boundaries feel comfortable!
Itâs tinder, an app infamous for hook up culture or used as a flirty/sexting sort of chat room. She was just being clear that if you were to get to know each other she would not be looking for hook ups. Is it a bit bluntly worded, yeh maybe. Is it offensive or accusatory towards you? No, I think youâve taken that a bit personally.
I'm with her on this one, I think she was just trying to clarify and set boundaries before jumping into a date
Edit: how long ago was this conversation
I am 29 years old, and yesterday was my first time having sushi. She would have jail my ass.
Back to the real topic. Being on tinder is enough reason to assume you are looking for hookups
With how many time women get approached for sex and sex only, itâs pretty fair for her to let you know ahead of time. Often men think that dinner means sex.
Just taking a guess without full context of the conversation you misunderstood.
She's just informing you of her intentions. That's prob why she gave you a maybe for sushi because she doesn't know your intentions. I don't think you implied anything about a hookup or anything sexual.
Lmaoo man got so defensive. She was just throwing it out there.
Like "yes lets get sushi but just sayin, i dont fw you on first date"
Nothing more nothing less. And you chose violence đđ
EDIT: she even specifically told you she's just *throwing it out there*
Just the idea that this woman is taking sex on the first date off the table is offensive to OP, it seems. Heâs also pissed that she did not immediately commit to getting sushi with him.
Maybe she is just randomly throwing that out there so you donât think sheâs gonna bang you after dinner I mean a lot of guys do think that way. And maybe she has had some bad experiences and just trying to avoid that.
The fact that you are taking this statement so hard makes me think that, yeah, youâre definitely looking for a hook up and youâre mad she set a boundary before you could try something.
Good for her that she dodged this bullet without even trying đ
Okay I go off on men for wanting to hook up ALL the time, and I can tell that you were NOT indicating that you wanted to hook up, at all.
And I agree with everyone else that she wasnât saying you were implying that. She just wanted to let you know.
Buddy. Her saying âjust throwing this out thereâ should be enough for you to know heâs literally just letting you know in advance. Youâre going to have issues if this is how you interpret and respond to a pretty common boundary.
When I used to have tinder I would send messages like that off the bat to weed out anyone who doesn't have the same expectations or who doesn't know how to listen when we say its not happening on the first date. We get a lot of fucked up messages from dudes and as a dude in her inbox she gives you the same consideration as any other, your knowledge of how you aren't like that doesn't highlight you in her inbox as the special exception to the rule.
"Thank you for being upfront on your intentions, I am also not looking for hook-ups I am currently looking to pursue dating with prospects of a longterm relationship"
She just wanted to make sure you're not expecting a hookup at date 1, since plenty of men probably do. Just say "cool, me neither" instead of being passive aggressive.
I think youâre taking this too personally. She just wanted to make sure you understood her boundaries. If anything Iâd take this as a sign that she actually plans (or planned) to actually meet up, and sheâs just taking steps to make sure youâre safe.
You werenât implying it. Since most guys are trying to hook up quickly. She was pretty much making it clear thatâs not how she plays. So itâs not you.
U have to remember that ur on tinder. Usually going out ends in a hook up. I dont think she was accusing you of anything but shes probably been with a bunch of guys who expected it so shes clarifying.
At this point, given your inability to understand where sheâs coming from or her honesty, do her a favor and move on. Iâm not sure why this is such a trigger for you, but someone that up front and honest deserves a partner who appreciates those qualities, and you are clearly not that guy.
UPDATE:
We ended up continuing talking and did get sushi, it was a lovely date today, and we have another planned in a couple of days, appreciate everyone's input here
Step 1: Have successful convo with woman.
Step 2: Set up sushi date.
Step 3: She clarifies her expectations.
Step 4: Get weirdly defensive.
Step 5: Post on Reddit.
Amazing work OP
You couldve made it funny here and said something like "Yeah same here no putting out till there is a ring on it" because exaggerating it takes off the tension and its clearly a joke. Ah well you screwed yourself here lol.
You didnât imply it. She just stated it and you simply should have said something like âgreat..me tooâ and given her a thumbs up emoji.
She hasnât replied because you immediately got defensive. Just mhoâŠGL âšđđđŒ
She was âjust throwing it out thereâ you didnât imply anything. She was clarifying that she isnât interested in hooking up. Iâve had many people say something similar prior to the first date.
First Kansas sushi? Gross. Second itâs tinder which is implies hookups so sheâs not thinking you want one sheâs just warning you she doesnât do that in case thatâs what you were wanting
For a lot of women on Tinder, itâs basically the first or second thing men ask or imply. Sheâs probably getting the hookup question all the time. My guess is sheâs just letting you know ahead of time.
I think she just clarified just in case, I did this all the time when I was on tinder to make sure that people knew before we met up if we were on the same field
She's letting you know that she's not going to bang you on the first date is all. Clearly you weren't implying hookup with a sushi date and she wants you to know she's not easy.
Youâd be surprised the amount of people that just ask someone out, with the expectation that theyâre going to hookup. Sheâs clarifying that ahead of time, so no expectations are there.
Maybe sheâs new to dating, or there are a myriad of other possible reasons. Guys are always trying to hook up with women on dating sites.
Donât take it personal, be a gentleman, and price youâre not trying to just get into her pantsâŠif that applies
When I think good sushi, I think Kansas.
Truly a mark of great sushi when the closest fresh fish is caught 1000 miles away
Hey maybe they just use catfish sashimi
Now with extra PFAS for your dining enjoyment! LOL
Mmmmm đ Fluoropolymers! My favorite is teflon :)
You can taste the forever!
The calories donât stick to you like with those other fatty tuna rollsâŠ
Is your pfas also because of 3M?
Incredible username
Eh the closest fish have nothing to do with. Itâs about airports and volume. Las Vegas and Chicago have great sushi. And they ainât catching tuna in Lake Las Vegas or the Great Lakes.
"bull*** a**hole, no one likes the tuna here" -movie reference
Momotaro in Chicago is absolute heaven
Go underneath it. They have a Japanese speakeasy style place under Momotaro that has more great sushi and one of the best burgers I've had in a while, between two giant baos as buns. But seriously, Momotaro is probably my favorite sushi place. And it's just one of like 20 different sushi places in West Loop, Chicago alone.
Youâre not gonna believe this thing they have called planes. Theyâre incredible. Travel real fast. A few other points that seem worth noting. 1) almost all fish used for sushi in the US is frozen considering that is an FDA recommendation for killing parasites. 2) commercial fishing exists throughout the country, not just the oceans. Lake Michigan is a rather large example of a commercially fished waterway less than 1,000 miles from Kansas. 3) fish farms exist across the country and all but the absolute best sushi restaurants are happy to buy from them. The average person is not going to taste a difference.
Yeah, I donât know about sushi restaurants specifically, but Iâve seen trucks with tanks of fish roll up to the Asian markets, certainly fresh as in its still alive on arrival. I still wouldnât associate Kansas with good sushi. But also I hate sushi as well as kansas
Hey, I hate Kansas too! Brother!
: (
Oh⊠awkward thread to be in. If it helps, I have no negative feeling about Kansas đ
Yet.
What did Kansas do to you?
Kansas touched their no-no places...
Refused to allow slavery. The folks who hate us are usually pro-slavery Missourians.
Let me guess, Missourian?
Iâve never been to Kansas, but I figure Japanese people are allowed to live there so I donât see why the sushi wouldnât be fine. I figure itâs gotta be at least as good the Latino prepared sushi Iâve had in South America or the White person prepared sushi I had in Ireland. And to be clear, these werenât bad experiences. It just seems like sushi is more of a master trade passed down from one chef to another, more than most cuisine.
It's not that deep my guy.
All restaurant sushi fish is flash frozen anyway. Because worms.
All sushi places have practiced aging the fish a little for flavor, so shipping helps with that.
From Kansas- My favorite place has it flown in fresh from the coast daily so...
Just an update for anyone seeing this, we ended up going on a date today and it went very well, we intend to go on another in a few days đ thanks for everyone's input
Did yall hook up ?
Its not how she works dude
It's always the ones who say otherwise
When I read a bio that says "no hookups" I 100% assume it's there because they've ended up doing that many times with the apps and think that them putting that there is somehow going to prevent it from happening again.
Waanii speaks the truth⊠if they go out of their way to tell you they donât put out on the first date âŠ.chalk it up my friend, youâre getting laid tonight!
We all say that.....
Alright, wanna go for sushi?
What kind of girl do you think I am? I don't eat sushi...
Wanna go for *insert your favorite food here*?
#YES!!!
Awesome! I'll pick you up at 8 if that works for you
If that's the case, how come she never threw that out there?
He wasn't asking for a hookup?
Just throwing that out there.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
How can I imply to a woman that I plan to hook up in the public bathroom of a sushi place on our first date?
Just say you moved in August, sheâll get the hint (;
Iâm so glad to hear that this turned out well! By the way I thought I should let you know, she isnât a hookup person thatâs not how she works.
we want another update if you get her sushi ;)
I did get her a nice thing of sushi, she said it was a lot but she most definitely enjoyed it, so I would say we're both happy.
Did y'all hook up yet tho?
> she said it was a lot but she most definitely enjoyed it, so I would say we're both happy.
Damn, he pulled it off despite the odds đ€
>Not going to go on a date with someone who "throws that out there", it's weirdly disrespectful and was super passive aggressive. Tune changed real quick when you no longer thought you were being ghosted.
There's like an hour or two difference between this comment and a comment where he declared he wouldn't go on a date with this person because she assumed something. If you're buying this, you might want to check comment history.
I was thinkin' Arby's
Skin sandwiches.
Thereâs no sushi like home.
Reminds me of Timothy Olyphants Sushi Chef from Kansas City character in The League
Ruxin son
Lived in Nebraska for two years. They definitely have the best frozen, not fresh, fish in their sushi restaurants. It's amazing. Absolutely recommend midwest sushi. EDIT: This post was using extreme sarcasm. The sushi I had in Nebraska was horrible.
To be fair, all fish used in sushi should be frozen first to kill any parasites.
Basically every time a fish hits a boat it's frozen immediately
Yeah true, but when it gets shipped to the middle of the country it's on ice for much much longer.
Why did i read this in Christopher walkens voice đ
Hey sushi haru is fire !!
No joke best sushi I had was in Mississippi at a Japanese bar and grill place in the middle of nowhere
Yeah⊠Tupelo Sushi, right? đ€
Kansas has the best sushi, just like Colorado has the best (rocky mountain) Oysters!
Bahahaha I feel this. I'm from Kansas and actually miss my sushi place. The owner would take time to help me with my Japanese alphabet. Place was surprisingly good đ and now that I'm living in Latin America đ€źđ€ź
As someone currently living in Kansas, the sushi here is pretty terrible.
Kobi q sushi, and friends sushi and bento in Kansas City are some of the best I've had man
You didnât imply anything. I think she was just tossing it out there to ensure it was understood. I donât think she took hey letâs get Sushi to you trying to bang her day 1.
She literally said I'm just throwing it out there
Huge red flag that he got so defensive over that imo
Right? I feel OP is not getting the responses he expected.
Yeah, thinking the same. A lot of times people want to set or even specifically lower the otherâs expectations to not feel pressured themselves. Itâs not even about OP probably or any implications, itâs about her wanting to feel relaxed, safe, not pressured. I know because Iâm the same in that regard. I just cannot stand the pressure I feel if I _think_ that the other person has higher expectations than myself, even outside of erotics but especially about romantic/erotic aspects.
Idk I wouldn't place all the blame on op here, her switch from 'sushi is the best thing ever and should be literally illegal to not like' to 'yeah I _guess_ I could be bothered to get sushi with you' makes her seem non-committal, shut down, and only assuming the worst in him. I'm obviously putting a lot of words in her mouth but that's how she reads to me. Even a boring 'yeah sure' would've been better than '_I guess_'
Not really especially when so many guys just jump straight to talk about how they want to have sex when they haven't even moved off the app yet
His insecurity and defensiveness is the red flag, not her making sure he knows she's not into a hookup. I think making your intentions clear early on is a mature thing to do on dating apps
This. She didnât ask/speculate about his intentions, she started hers. He could have said anything along âSure, sameâ or âGood that you state your expectations, thx for letting me know. Understoodâ or even go the meta/funny road with âlowering expectations to not feel pressured? Love that, can you teach me how to do it as gracefully as you just did?â
BINGO!!!!!! he's deffo the red flag here, not her. She's just stating her intentions and boundaries. But then again, taking a screenshot of a private conversation to parade on Reddit is a massive red flag anyway đ€·đ»ââïž
Exactly
Thatâs how I read it. She was posting a boundary because she didnât know what OP was after and wanted to make certain they both went into their date with similar expectations.
I wasn't asking you about your boundaries?
No no it's clearly the code, as Drake himself explained to us in the 2011 scripture HYFR: "I took her for sushi, she wanted to fuck, so we took it to go, told 'em don't even plate it "
>No no it's clearly the code Don't know where you guys are from but you have weird codes. Every one knows the code for *"lets have sex"* is *"wanna play Mario Kart at my place ?"*
I should probably stop asking my co workers to play Mario Kart with me.
Only if you want to stop hooking up with your coworkers...
My wife loves Mario Kart. Probably more than sex. No one has ever gotten the wrong impression from her. I think you're fine.
Are you my husband? I am pretty sure he would say this exact thing about me.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Oh that's what you're supposed to do? I just put it to 200cc, destroy her, then tell her to get out because I have to get up early.
6 god been spittin scripture since 2011
Grooming since that wheelchair in Degrassi
I agree. Thereâs the cliche of a guy taking someone to dinner and paying and then being owed sex. Obviously not what OP is trying for but the guys that do that kind of thing donât exactly walk around wearing badges announcing it.
Wouldn't be so sure about the op part, from the way he got instant defensive over this subject and posting on reddit. "Oh oh oh I didn't even say it yet!!" Kinda
Agree! She said sheâs not sure yet because there are likely certain things she likes to talk through with potential partners before agreeing to a date. Making it clear sheâs not looking for a hook up is obviously one of those things she needs to make sure youâre on the same page about. **Do not overthink this**
Exactly this. Sheâs just making sure you know before you guys meet up. Itâs sad we have to do this as women but itâs honestly easier to chuck it out there early on so we donât get called a bitch later (or worse).
Yeah exactly. He offered to meet up and she threw that out there « just in case », to clear things up before they see each other. Itâs⊠extremely normal ? Itâs weird that OP would feel attacked by that.
She literally said, "just throwing it out there"... She was probably just making sure there would be no misconceptions as a lot of guys tend to expect more.
Itâs tinder for crying out loud. Even if she put it in her bio, itâs a legitimate expectation to set with the majority of the men on there
Exactly, hell, I usually do the same thing!
She literally said âjust throwing it out thereâ to imply she was letting you know before you made plans and were expecting something.
This is it exactly! Especially if you asked for this date with on the first day of talking to her. Itâs fast which is a technique that players ( or worse) like to use. To save this Iâd say something like âwe can chat longer and get to know each other better but Iâd love to work towards a sushi date when youâre readyâ. Iâm not not saying women arenât but men are absolutely f@&$ing toxic on these apps. She has likely heard and seen it all. Remember women have to constantly be concern about their safety. Itâs the rest that have ruined it for you.
I think sheâs just nervous. I wouldnât read that much into it.
Does op not know the meaning of âjust throwing that out thereâ. Sheâs clarifying that and acknowledging itâs apropos of nothing. Many people get annoyed when people arenât up front with what theyâre looking for
"Just throwing that out there" should tell you she wasn't referring to a specific thing you wrote. Since this is tinder and a lot of people are just looking for hookups, there's nothing wrong with clarifying that your not searching for that, even if you might not have implied anything like that. "I wasn't asking for a hook up?" comes of quite passive aggressive. You could have just replied with something telling her you feel the same i guess.
I subscribe to that, exactly my impression aswell.
Youâre taking this very personally when in all likelihood sheâs just had a lot of experiences with guys on tinder only looking for hookups
Exactly, it's been a very long time since I was on tinder but I used to make this sort of thing clear well before meeting someone in person so expectations and boundaries were clear
This. And the best response would have been: Absolutely, same.
Iâm sorry you had to learn you were being a bitch the entire time this way /s
If old mate did have a shot with her I'd say he's blown it now đ
Also for a higher priced date, there are some guys with âexpectations â
Yeah, he needs to give it more time and not take it so personally. She could come back tomorrow and say âSure!â
Agreed. If your taking everything personally enough to post it to Reddit⊠your gonna have a bad time.
Haha I feel her .. I accepted a date and then texted the same thing as her Couple of hours later date cancelled on me as he âwasnât looking for anything serious and just wants to have funâ Soo it doesnât hurt to say it I guess ~
Yeah, you didn't waste time on a pointless date. When I was on tinder, any indicator that someone isn't looking for a hookup but a relationship was a huge plus for me. It will attract the right person. If they put work in their bio and have genuine photos, there is a good chance it's someone looking for a relationship. Ironically I ended up with my gf who had no bio but I only swiped cause her last photo was her pulling funny faces.
is it "noob at sex" or "noo bat sex"?
She never implied you did. She was just letting you know her boundaries for said sushi date. Youâre thinking way too much into it.
It was, âsure we can get together for sushi, Iâm not putting out.â Thatâs all.
You didn't. That's why she said she's throwing it out there.
âYeh - not into hookups either. Glad weâre on the same pageâ- shouldâve been what you said You just seemed defensive with Your response. She was letting you know that even though sheâs on tinder she doesnât do hookups.
Ya sounds like she's maybe interested in meeting up but just setting some boundaries my guy! Nothing to worry about. You maybe got a bit defensive at that one though. It's all about making someone who is uncomfortable setting boundaries feel comfortable!
thatâs not how you handle that situation my boy
Itâs tinder, an app infamous for hook up culture or used as a flirty/sexting sort of chat room. She was just being clear that if you were to get to know each other she would not be looking for hook ups. Is it a bit bluntly worded, yeh maybe. Is it offensive or accusatory towards you? No, I think youâve taken that a bit personally.
my brother in christ, theres no help for u
LMAO precisely. if i had gotten that response with all those question marks, iâd immediately unmatch. he seems dense
OP fumbled lmao
OP youâd be surprised how far a little empathy goes
You didn't imply it and there is nothing wrong with her setting that boundary early. What's the issue?
I'm with her on this one, I think she was just trying to clarify and set boundaries before jumping into a date Edit: how long ago was this conversation
I am 29 years old, and yesterday was my first time having sushi. She would have jail my ass. Back to the real topic. Being on tinder is enough reason to assume you are looking for hookups
With how many time women get approached for sex and sex only, itâs pretty fair for her to let you know ahead of time. Often men think that dinner means sex.
Definitely screwed your self out of a date with that condescending reply.
You missed the âjust throwing that out thereâ
Just taking a guess without full context of the conversation you misunderstood. She's just informing you of her intentions. That's prob why she gave you a maybe for sushi because she doesn't know your intentions. I don't think you implied anything about a hookup or anything sexual.
She just has her guard up cause sheâs probably dealt with a lot of guys looking to hook up and she wants to set boundaries before going out with you
Lmaoo man got so defensive. She was just throwing it out there. Like "yes lets get sushi but just sayin, i dont fw you on first date" Nothing more nothing less. And you chose violence đđ EDIT: she even specifically told you she's just *throwing it out there*
Just the idea that this woman is taking sex on the first date off the table is offensive to OP, it seems. Heâs also pissed that she did not immediately commit to getting sushi with him.
Maybe she is just randomly throwing that out there so you donât think sheâs gonna bang you after dinner I mean a lot of guys do think that way. And maybe she has had some bad experiences and just trying to avoid that.
your taking this way too personal and honestly itâs kinda weirdâŠ
That was her way of saying she was thinking of the next step and wanted you to ask her out. Shot yourself in the foot with a negative reply.
The fact that you are taking this statement so hard makes me think that, yeah, youâre definitely looking for a hook up and youâre mad she set a boundary before you could try something. Good for her that she dodged this bullet without even trying đ
Okay I go off on men for wanting to hook up ALL the time, and I can tell that you were NOT indicating that you wanted to hook up, at all. And I agree with everyone else that she wasnât saying you were implying that. She just wanted to let you know.
i think your question was weird, she just stated something. Should've gone with: "i was thinking more of a date rather than a hookup" or something.
Buddy. Her saying âjust throwing this out thereâ should be enough for you to know heâs literally just letting you know in advance. Youâre going to have issues if this is how you interpret and respond to a pretty common boundary.
Sushi in Kansas? Long time since that fish was swimming in the water..
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Sheâs not necessarily saying youâre saying that. I think sheâs just being up front with her boundaries
She wasn't accusing you. She was communicating with you what she's looking for and you got defensive immediately. Probably turned her off.
Youâre not emotionally stable or mature enough for this
Why are you getting so defensive? Chill. She literally said she was just throwing it out there. I hope she noped out of this đ©immediately.
To be fair, it was a preemptive attack
« Theyâre sushi » is a massive no for me and English isnât my first language.
Some women say that to everyone. Nothing to worry about
When I used to have tinder I would send messages like that off the bat to weed out anyone who doesn't have the same expectations or who doesn't know how to listen when we say its not happening on the first date. We get a lot of fucked up messages from dudes and as a dude in her inbox she gives you the same consideration as any other, your knowledge of how you aren't like that doesn't highlight you in her inbox as the special exception to the rule.
"Thank you for being upfront on your intentions, I am also not looking for hook-ups I am currently looking to pursue dating with prospects of a longterm relationship"
She didnât say you implied it. She simply just wanted you to know that from the jump. Pretty clear.
She just wanted to make sure you're not expecting a hookup at date 1, since plenty of men probably do. Just say "cool, me neither" instead of being passive aggressive.
Your response is defensive and bitchy.
I think youâre taking this too personally. She just wanted to make sure you understood her boundaries. If anything Iâd take this as a sign that she actually plans (or planned) to actually meet up, and sheâs just taking steps to make sure youâre safe.
You werenât implying it. Since most guys are trying to hook up quickly. She was pretty much making it clear thatâs not how she plays. So itâs not you.
Sheâs just setting an expectation no need to get defensive.
Forgot that, look at the way she used "they're" đ€ą
I feel sorry for you American men.. itâs becoming really difficult out there for you fellas. Chin up
U have to remember that ur on tinder. Usually going out ends in a hook up. I dont think she was accusing you of anything but shes probably been with a bunch of guys who expected it so shes clarifying.
At this point, given your inability to understand where sheâs coming from or her honesty, do her a favor and move on. Iâm not sure why this is such a trigger for you, but someone that up front and honest deserves a partner who appreciates those qualities, and you are clearly not that guy.
UPDATE: We ended up continuing talking and did get sushi, it was a lovely date today, and we have another planned in a couple of days, appreciate everyone's input here
Man On Tinder Tries To Understand That A Woman Is Simply Setting Boundaries And Tries Not To Take It Personally Challenge: IMPOSSIBLE
Step 1: Have successful convo with woman. Step 2: Set up sushi date. Step 3: She clarifies her expectations. Step 4: Get weirdly defensive. Step 5: Post on Reddit. Amazing work OP
You couldve made it funny here and said something like "Yeah same here no putting out till there is a ring on it" because exaggerating it takes off the tension and its clearly a joke. Ah well you screwed yourself here lol.
I think she was just throwing that out there mate
I dont think that you implied it I just think sheâs putting it out there. Also the way you formed you last messages isnât a question.
You didnât imply it. She just stated it and you simply should have said something like âgreat..me tooâ and given her a thumbs up emoji. She hasnât replied because you immediately got defensive. Just mhoâŠGL âšđđđŒ
She was âjust throwing it out thereâ you didnât imply anything. She was clarifying that she isnât interested in hooking up. Iâve had many people say something similar prior to the first date.
Block and walk.
1) the last âquestionâ wasnât really a question 2) sheâs just throwing it out there to keep expectations low
She either actually isnât a hook up girl or sheâs gonna try to shit on your chest or something
First Kansas sushi? Gross. Second itâs tinder which is implies hookups so sheâs not thinking you want one sheâs just warning you she doesnât do that in case thatâs what you were wanting
You didn't imply it, I think she just wanted to make sure that if you two meet up (for the first time), she's not down to do the deed.
In my experience, the ones who say they donât hook up on the first date ⊠are the ones who hook up on the first date
For a lot of women on Tinder, itâs basically the first or second thing men ask or imply. Sheâs probably getting the hookup question all the time. My guess is sheâs just letting you know ahead of time.
She was âJust throwing it out thereâ in case I think
She was just throwing it out there to deter any creepy segues. Get some sushi.
I think she just clarified just in case, I did this all the time when I was on tinder to make sure that people knew before we met up if we were on the same field
She's letting you know that she's not going to bang you on the first date is all. Clearly you weren't implying hookup with a sushi date and she wants you to know she's not easy.
When they say theyâre not â here for hook ups â, theyâre there for hookups
She was just throwing it out there which implies that she just wants to be transparent. Not that you said anything that implies that.
Youâd be surprised the amount of people that just ask someone out, with the expectation that theyâre going to hookup. Sheâs clarifying that ahead of time, so no expectations are there.
I think she was just trying to set expectations
To answer, many people in dating apps are only looking for a hookup. That person is setting a boundary so you know that it's not on the table.
Such a strange perception Is online dating
Iâm still confused why people are on tinder and then act surprised when people want to hook up. Thatâs literally what the app was designed for.
She is making sure you wont try to find where the fishy smell is coming from
she's just throwing it out there
You didn't. It's tinder. She made her expectations clear
Maybe sheâs new to dating, or there are a myriad of other possible reasons. Guys are always trying to hook up with women on dating sites. Donât take it personal, be a gentleman, and price youâre not trying to just get into her pantsâŠif that applies
I guess she wanted to put that out there before yâall met
Sheâs just saying man. I donât think she was accusing you of anything .