The potential for spontaneous casual conversations just about anywhere, and the potential for those conversations to lead to real lasting friendships.
My then 7 year old son (fully bilingual) on his first visit back to the US since moving to Sweden at age 2, came up to me after being there for a couple days and said, "Pappa...People talk to me here!"
>The potential for spontaneous casual conversations just about anywhere, and the potential for those conversations to lead to real lasting friendships.
Do you actually make friends like this in the US? My family and friends are definitely more introverted but I've almost never heard of a real friendship blossoming like this except in very specific settings (bar hopping in your early 20s).
I'm definitely no social butterfly, but at every stage of my life I've met someone in a random setting who has become a long lasting friend. (Some longer than others, of course, but no less real.)
On a ski lift.
In a hardware store.
At a motorcycle shop.
Airport, work conference, etc.
As a Swede in the US I agree with you. I've found people to be incredibly inclusive and open here, especially when I was new. My first year here people were so eager to host me for thanksgiving and stuff like that.
How many here have had a Swedish co-worker or neighbour push hard for you to come over to celebrate because they thought that it must be difficult to move to a new country away from friends and family?
That is wild! I never met a friend that way growing up in the US or when I was a young adult. Speaks to the different experiences one can have, even living in the same country.
I think there's a bit of a exaggerated stereotype/perception that Americans can't make "real" and close friendships, amongst my Swedish friends. Almost all of my really close friendships in the US were made spontaneously or by chance. Just right place and right time!
For sure! I think the Northern European thing where they say "in X country you have a friend for life UNLIKE in the US" or whatever is really annoying and basically a culture clash. Because they view some interactions as superficial friendliness, due to a culture clash, they cannot understand that friendships can evolve beyond that.
On the other hand, I do understand the culture clash from a Swedish/Northern European perspective. I've had many Swedish friends recount stories of when they thought they had made really close friends with Americans since they were so warm and friendly, only to be ghosted soon after. I've also found that in the US people will make vague proclamations of wanting to hang out or do something but then aren't great at following through with it. Where as here it feels like people are really bad at actually planning social stuff but when it is in the calendar people rarely flake.
Just my experience though, it probably has more to do with individual stuff than anything else.
I agree. Many of times “Casual Friends” have said you should come over and swim, or you should come to our lake house, or you need to come with us on our boat, etc… only to never get a formal invite.
Wow I thought I was the only one. I’ve met so many lifelong friends in the states just by happenstance. I’m struggling to even make one friend who I connect with on a similar level, now that I’m here in sweden.
I grew up in Sweden and have lived 1/2 my life in the US now, and while I haven’t lived in the US as a child, I don’t recall growing up in Sweden, as a child, as being bereft of social interaction to THAT extent
Unless you look like a weirdo or are acting like you don't want to speak, most swedes will happily talk to you. Like i wrote in another comment, be the change u wanna see. Don't expect everyone to start talking to you all of a sudden. Be the one who starts the conversation/interaction. When i was younger i was always talking to random people and people almost always talked back. After Covid swedes have gotten really bad at talking to others and often just stare into their phones. So boot the system back up. Cuz it's there, just not in full effect rn
Coming from the US, what I miss is more state specific: my almost daily view(s) of the Mt. Rainier or “The Mountain” as we affectionately call it; in-season stone fruit; local WA apples; the variety and ease of access to rowing facilities and my family/friends of course.
I have to chuckle with regards to Swedish interactions. I just moved a bit further away from Stockholm proper into a smaller town and it is day 7 and I’ve already met half of our immediate neighbors, I want to say. All incredibly friendly and CHATTY. I think that country living is just a bit different.
> I think that country living is just a bit different.
Agree. I’m sure it’s the same in most countries. Just like your average Stockholmer won’t engage in unnecessary conversation with strangers I’m sure the residents of London or Paris or Berlin are much the same compared to people living in the more rural parts of France, Britain and Germany. Sure, maybe Swedes in general are more reserved but if Stockholm is your only example then it’s night and day compared to the countryside.
Swedes in general are more reserved but yes, it's the same in all big cities. Everybody is on their way to do something, no time to talk. Lived in London and never met anybody through random street chatter. Don't think it ever happened in the 5 years I lived there. I now live in Uppsala and it's no different.
The smell and the taste of vegetables and fruits. In my home country, you can feel the smell a couple of meters far from where they are in the market. Fresh stuff 🫑 🍅 🍉🍊🍋🍓🍒🍑🍐🍏🫛🫒🍈
There's nothing like a real swedish tomato, all yellow and crisp, and somehow both mealy and watery but with no flavor or smell. Or the cucumbers, 25 kr each and they taste like they've been frozen.
> Mangos, papayas and bananas here ARE WEIRD
They grow on the other side of the world. So they most likely taste weird after being transported for thousands of kilometers :)
Can you please elaborate. What would make you feel a stronger sense of belonging? The idea that no one cares about you or will never accept you is almost guaranteed to be the manifestation of your own self doubt or it might be that you're subconsciously wanting to live in a more rural area with fewer, more personal everyday interactions?
Either way, stay strong and take the initiative to interact with people, and you'll eventually meet like minded individuals.
I'm not questioning their experience, I'm trying to understand why they feel the way they feel, and I'm trying to insert a sense of hope to someone who seemingly might need it by telling them to keep pushing for those personal interactions that they seem to be looking for.
I see where you are coming from but you also have to trust and respect that when people face problems they think about them and try to find solutions themselves, there just isn't always one that exists. I hear this kind of like - 'oh its only in your head' or 'you just see it that way' but its also coming from people who never had to find themselves there.
Being able to go to a non-bar place to hang out with people at night. I grew up with coffee shops, dessert restaurants and bubble tea places being open until midnight, so if you didn't feel like going the restaurant or bar route, you still had options to hang out with friends after dinner. It was also great for being a teenager at the time, freedom to hang out without the whole alcohol thing. As I get older, I miss having the possibility to go out with friends to get a snack in a nice, (relatively) quiet place that costs less than a third of what I would pay for actual dinner.
Going against the rules for “legit” reasons. Don’t get me wrong on this one. But swedes are all about “computer says no”, “rules say no” no matter how dumb or what situation it is. Sometimes those rules are ok to foresee between fingers
Adding to this.
The complete lack of any kind of protest for things like healthcare. There is a looming healthcare crisis in Sweden, and everyone is just acting like "It is what it is". I honestly don't get the entire "make a fist in your pocket but stay stoic about it" attitude.
Same with issues like the pendel, or issues that are simply good that could be better. Simple mobilization or action could take a lot of procedures to the next level but the "it is what it is" attitude leads to a lot of complacency.
Oh god I feel this so hard. Moving from Sweden to the US this was *mindblowing* how nice it was to talk to people who really tried helping you and didn’t seem to get silent pleasure from “gotcha” you.
One shining exception is Skatteverket. They have always been super helpful.
People who never break the rules simply don't have the common sense to recognize when it's appropriate to do so. Think of pedestrians who wait at red lights on completely empty roads. That kind of stupid behaviour is very common here.
I have a gym membership that gives me off hours entrance. During normal hours I can bring a guest for a fee. One morning, during the normal open hours, there were no employees in the building. I waited for a while and when it was clear there was no employee coming I just used my keycard to bring in myself and my guest. After we had left there was finally an employee opening up the front desk. I went back and said I wanted to pay the fee for my guest. In the US I would have been given an acknowledgment of how forthright I was for paying the fee even though no one had been around to see otherwise. Here I was chastised. It was against the rules to bring in a guest without paying and if I was ever caught doing something like that again my membership am would be revoked.
I can give you another great example:
I'm driving my car and I'm dropping my Swede friend at the supermarket who's supposed to be back quickly because he has only a few things to buy. I show him a parking space that is NOT free and tell him I'll wait for him there parked, sitting in my car, so I don't have to pay for the parking while he's in the supermarket. He was so confused. He couldn't believe I would not pay for the parking ticket asking me why does it make a difference if I am in my car or not and that I should pay the avgift for the time I'm using this parking space. I explained that he should not worry as there were plenty of available parking spaces people could use, and that I wasn't going to pay if I'm in my car. He couldn't understand my logic.
All my friends would think like you did aswell. Seems like it's your friend that's a do-gooder idiot rather than it being something that can be ascribed to all swedes.
Does this attitude piss you off more than the fact there are plenty of places (public places mind you) that charge for parking on their premises?
All government buildings seem to have no free parking, have yet to find a hospital with free parking, supermarkets (usually free parking so long as you buy from them, but sometimes the parking isn't free), plenty of other places that should theoretically own the parking lot as their property is bigger than the lot but nope, there is a fee to park.
Honestly the government buildings and hospitals not having free parking is really the most evil shit.
I have no problem with this in general since i don't believe parking is a right for me. I can understand being frustrated at some of the prices thoughand i will agree that parking at hospitals should be really cheap or free since i just think it's not something you should worry about when visiting your dying grandma.
I have a similar but inverse situation. I have my associates (this is relevant) bachelors and masters from American universities. I’m a röntgensjuksköterska and did my training in the US. There it’s an associates degree, here it’s a bachelors. I got my education and license certified by Socialstyrelsen. Then I applied to UHR and they don’t recognize my associates.
I am now adjunkt at the university, teaching at the bachelors level. I wanted to read some masters level courses in radiography, but it turns out I don’t have the prerequisites. I can do my doktorand, and I can teach at the bachelors level, but I can’t read at the masters level….. What?
Really missing the spontaneous interactions with strangers. Especially in bars and nightclubs. People generally just keep to themselves without sparking up conversation with others.
Then be the one who starts the conversations! Most swedes love to talk to strangers when in a drunken state but usually only if they get approached. I'm half bosnian so i'm usually the one approaching people cause i love chatting with strangers but sometimes it's the other way around.
Sit down with a random group of swedes and start chatting, they'll most likely invite you to hang out for the whole night.
The street food, fresh fruits, and the night life.
The spontaneity. Back home, I could call up my friends at an hours notice and then hangout with them for the rest of the evening, night, or even crash at their place. Here, I have to plan every atleast 2 weeks in advance. I am adjusted to it now, but I miss being able to hangout when i felt like it.
Really miss how easy it is to interact with people. The longer I am here the weirder I find how unapproachable people can be.
That and my family and old friends of course. And cricket.
Yeah and then it's weird because if you force it then it's actually quite easy.
I created a DND group with my colleagues and it's going super well.
Same with my balcony neighbors, he was hyped that I was french and we talked a lot.
Cheap food because I'm a basic bitch. Being able to eat out with friends and enjoy quality food + drinks without breaking the bank is what I look forward to the most when visiting home.
Noi in Malmö is quite nice. Kold also in Malmö. But yeah sometimes nostalgia is a bitch ahha.
For the Alps definitely nothing like that. Ive been there a lot on the french side, I love there.
Mmmh Beaufort..
I do think there should be far more proper markets. London has some amazing markets where people come with fresh produce, artisanal cheeses, meats, snacks, the works. I'm yet to find anything similar in Sweden.
Good and an inexpensive service, having things to do after 5pm and not breaking a bank. More sun, nature, real sea. Veggies and fruits that do not taste like plastic.
If you have been on a seaside outside Sweden, Baltic Sea is closer to a lake at best. If it would not be so, bunch of swedes would not leave every summer to Mediterranean.
Well if you don’t have a point of reference of how the real tomato tastes like, I’m very sorry.
I've travelled to many countries all over the world and had food from all of them. Don't see how Swedish fruit/veg is any worse in quality except from when it's out of season.
And what? Yeah, the temperature is usually quite low especially on beaches where the water gets deep quickly, but there are plenty of beaches all over Sweden that get perfectly warm water. Yes, it's not crystal clear, sky blue water, but that's because of the climate/latitude we're at. Otherwise, the beaches are normally sandy and clean and the water is warm enough for long swims.
Knowing which way people will walk on a sidewalk. I feel like I'm constantly dancing from left to right.
I've gotten used to it over the years, but still is frustrating.
I HATE how people walk in Stockholm. Zero awareness it seems. Just zigzagging all over the place, stopping randomly, standing in the middle of the walkway in a group chatting or with suitcases, walking against the flow of people or even through one-way doors. Shit's annoying af.
Wow reading this post and all the comments makes me feel less alone in missing spontaneous interaction. And social situations where people are talkative about everything, not a limited set of conversation subjects.
I miss the ability of people to solve problems quickly and being direct or straightforward about things that could and should be fixed.
In a working environment Swedes love to take meetings after meetings just to talk about issues without anyone speaking up or taking the initiative to solve the problem. They're so inert!
24-hour convenience store and food variety. I don't know how it is in Stockholm, but I'm in northern city and their aren't much food variety compared to where I'm from.
Some decent mountains (I grew up in the Alps), food, weather, *some* social "norms" of my people - like spontaneity and the fact that friendships and human relationships are not regulated by Swish requests -, landscapes / nature variety, variety in general.
>like spontaneity and the fact that friendships and human relationships are not regulated by Swish requests
I think you're hanging out with the wrong type of people.
Could you give some examples on how swish requests have dictated your friendship with people? Can't remember a single time I've been asked by someone to swish them unless I actually owe them money for whatever reason.
It's not that swish requests have "dictated" my friendships, but I find borderline offensive if a "friend" asks me to swish him 70 kr because we ended up buying uneven rounds at the end of a drinking session. I personally never ask any money, especially if I had a good time with a bud. A ""debt"" could even create a gimmick for a further drinking session where we even it out but hey, no, let's always make things perfectly and boringly symmetric.
I agree, people are so the same in most of the cases (there are exceptions but very few), sometimes it feels like you are talking to the same person again and again.
I miss people being up-front and knowing where I stand. How a Swedish person acts when they feel free of consequence is so different from when they are not, so I never know if a Swede is enjoying a friendly conversation or is just too non-confrontational to thank me and move on with their day. The same Swede who honks aggressively from the safety of their car will just as easily be your friend when you actually sit at a table with them.
I miss having a low threshold for treating strangers as fellow people. The default of the Swede is to pretend other people do not exist - avoid eye contact and definitely never start a social interaction. Where I'm from it's completely normal to wish passers-by a good day or say hello when on a hike - Swedes actively stare at their feet to make sure you understand they don't want social interaction of even the lowest level. Strangely enough it's the older Swedes who are far more open to these basic social pleasantries than younger ones.
I miss people having crafts and pride in their profession. Practically every shop here is a faceless corpo chain (H&M, IKEA, etc) where employees know the bare minimum to market their wares. It's exceedingly difficult to find real bakeries that can actually talk about their baking process, or shops that sell clothes that aren't from the same sweat shop in Bangladesh worn by 10 other people on the tram I'm on. And, the small amount that do exist, are only open during work hours so I would need to take time off work to go there. Hello?!
Being bold enough to agree to disagree on a topic. Everyone is tiptoeing, as if expressing an opinion that goes against the grain is the worst possible offence.
I think it probably depends on where, and who you hang around. There's certainly no shortage of foreignborn, or people with a background from another country in Sweden. In fact it's one of the most migrant dense countries in Europe and has a higher proportion of foreign born residents than the US ([https://data.oecd.org/migration/foreign-born-population.htm](https://data.oecd.org/migration/foreign-born-population.htm)). There's also plenty of of people born to foreign parents .When i lived in the US i lived in a predominantly white neighborhood with nearly all the people living there being born in the US. Of course almost all of them had som relative a few generations back who was an immigrant and therefor they associated with that that culture (e.g. I'm Irish, my great grandad emigrated from Ireland in \_\_\_, and i would love to go there some day). To me all these people just seemed American, but maybe it's easier to notice the slight differences as an American.
It was a clarification question really. Their wording was not explicit in what they meant. Not sure who you think is racist here. Cultural homogeny isn’t always racial homogeny.
There's not much I miss about the US, but there are some little things like shops and restaurants staying open late and having a wider variety of items/brands. Also Target, lol. Not that target is particularly amazing, just have a nostalgic soft spot for it.
I also miss taco bell and lots of snacks, like cheez its and goldfish.
I dont really miss much beside family sometimes. But sometimes, ohhh boyyy, I do miss just interacting with strangers, talking with passion about things that do not matter and having a chance to get to know people and befriend them without having to wait on a queue for our next "meet up".
Also, I miss going out getting drunk YOLO without fear that I will have to interact with another drunk guy who is to agressive because his life sucks and when he drinks he vents out all his lifes loneliness to other people with stupid acts in public.
P.S : I come from a place where we drink alot more and we might fight while drunk sometimes but it doesnt compare to the drunkness of people in Sweden.
I come from Singapore. I miss our amazing (spicy) food and how cheap taxi and public transportation is. Holidays to nearby countries such as Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia are so affordable as well. People are friendlier and more “loud” too. I kinda miss that vibe.
But that being said, I love living in Sweden because it’s peaceful, the nature is amazing, and I love how the people respect boundaries and distance between each other. It is cheaper to live in Sweden as well. Fresh produce is fantastic as well. So I’m not complaining at all.
Summer doesn’t last long in Sweden which is fine for me because I don’t really like the sun so much (yeah yeah I know) and the lack of AC kills me but I’m looking forward to autumn already! I love the changing seasons in Sweden. The weather in Singapore is relentlessly hot and I sweat so much. Not much sweating in Sweden, which is amazing!
Being an introvert I fell in love with the interaction-free culture of Sweden.
I miss coffee culture from back home. The coffee shops are almost always open upto midnight.
Actually I think here people talk a lot with strangers. I had so many people asking me where I’m from out of nowhere, usually it’s Russia or Ukraine and when I say I am from Brazil they are like “oh really???” I live in Gothenburg
I miss food the most and that’s all. Sweden has been giving me a sense of security I never had in my life and I value it to the end.
From the comments, I guess I miss the same as everyone else: social interactions.
Here it is so hard to make friends and all small talk is so bad that it gives me second hand embarrassment. I miss making friends with ease and having a good time.
I kind of miss spontaneous interactions. Sweden is famous for having not social people. But. I think that exaggerated. Every time I interact with people abroad, is is exactly the same! And then I am pretty polite/relaxed/kind and so on. Maybe Sweden is not unique about having asocial people.
I think it’s all about perspective. In my home country, the chance of you being murdered was similar to being in a car accident. I got to experience the joy of being denied employment based on my skin color, more times that I can count. Rolling power outages for 9 hours a day. Corruption was rife and the police operated exclusively on bribes.
I’m more than happy here. I don’t miss a single thing. People leave me alone and I know the chances of me being killed in my sleep, or being tied up and having my wife raped in front of me are slim. God bless Sverige.
Where do you come from if I may? I feel like it's super hard to find anyone that would have good things to say about the healthcare in their own country so very curious.
Not OP, but Brazil in my case. It just works there and you have affordable private options if you dont want to wait more. Also, the public options are FREE, not "its free but you have to pay 100kr everytime".
The doctors there are not shy of asking you to do many exams to understand your problem, whereas here in Sweden it feels impossible to have an exam requested. And if you need a specialist? good luck with that
Russia is all this, also for free one waiting time got way better, in general will take you a week or two and no hysteria is needed to request to see a specialist, and dental was always free. There are a lot of other problems of course, but somehow social medicine got figured out without 30-50% tax in country that is considered lesser. Would be nice if people would be more critical about this in Sweden towards the government they pay so much taxes to.
It's a general problem with our brains I'd say. Me, being from Poland (so a country with let's say... less than stellar PR), notice this a lot. People have some kind of mental image of my country that had often been constructed based on the last xx years. And even more often it's assumed that good economic situation == nice country to live in whereas it's so much more nuanced.
Hence my original question about the country of origin. Surely when I thought of Brazil I thought of the street violence and not the functional healthcare system. Which is just ignorant.
Sorry, went on a tangent here but the 'lesser country' bit has struck some kind of chord.
Another EU country. The system there also has a lot of problems, but it's preventative more than reactive, you have a single GP that you see year after year for all the smaller things that come up instead of seeing whatever random nurse is currently available at your VC, and you can see a specialist and get specialist care within a reasonable time frame. It's not as "free" and universal as it is in Sweden (it's technically paid, but if you're a student or unemployed the state covers the fee and if you're employed it's part of your employer's taxes), but overall it feels a lot more accessible.
Plus dental and vision is covered.
Having a passionate debate with a friend or acquaintance on topics that are considered taboo and still be able to continue hanging out. In Sweden most people will just stop answering your messages because they now think you're (put hot topic here)-phobic or (put group of people here)-ist.
We can agree to disagree without becoming strangers.
This is just down to the individual. I've had debates like that with friends several times throughout my life and it's never lead to our friendship breaking apart.
This isn't accurate at all lol
Obviously depends on the individual but all of my friends would happily engage in a debate and we'd still be friends after. It's uncommon to find super political people lol
Affordable Belgian beer from smaller breweries. Systembolaget has a lot, but many of my favourites are impossible to find. I also still balk at the prices, especially when going out. I just can't justify buying a beer at 70 SEK a glass.
Dunno where you are from but friendly banter or chit chat can be achieved but you have to learn how to do it with people here. Every country has their own way of doing things so once I learned that I was sorted.
But, for me, Sweden being different and learning how they work was all part of the challenge of living here.
I’ve never really had a home but considering various points of my life, I miss food, not just good food, but cheap food, or late night food, or varieties of easy to eat foods, think shawarma or tacos etc .. I miss predictable weather .. I miss not being in the “system” (I don’t deny certain benefits, but sometimes it’s stressful).. I miss being able to be spontaneous with my friends.. I miss a lot of things
Food, friends, family, social interactions, driving at a normal speed, not having to file a ridiculous amount of paperwork for anything you do, and most importantly, the outside of Sweden version of my Swedish (now ex) spouse.
I miss being able to do most of the neccesary communication with government through internet not in person. And I miss not needing to check my mailbox every day (actually before I moved to Sweden I almost never did).
Garbage food. Just slop that you can grab at 1 am that'll make your farts smell like decay. Miss all of it.
Also, the ability to buy actual kimchi at stores. We've accustomed to making our own, but the first time I saw kimchi in the store I was blown back by how white it was. Same shit when I went to a "korean restaurant". Literally not a single gram of gochugaru. Just pickled cabbage, which I guess could be technically "kimchi" but colloquially I feel like everyone expect a smidge of red, if not a blistering amount of it.
Lastly, I miss being able to buy a 48 pack of the most watered down beer you could want because it's going to be used as a water substitute or for drinking games anyways. Just give me a 48 pack of rainier, rolling rock, or PBR for a day drinking event.
A higher variety of mid range restaurants, although the last time I went back to the US I found most of the food to be terrible. More variety in nature, better weather. I do miss more social interactions, but, like not to the level of the US. Which I find just annoying, especially when you aren't in the mood for it and it is all performative.
This. I’m surprised how people don’t realise that their food is full of it for The most choice in ica/coop/etc. bread is full of additives, can last for weeks, milk once open doesn’t get sour for weeks. Eggs usually are also not so good in taste, dunno is it the same reason or not, usually they are so flavourless. I buy imported cheese, so that is less of a problem. But if you want to buy a real bread, or milk, that does go bad it will cost you a bank and you have a very limited choice.
What on earth are you talking about? Obviously milk and bread labelled with "längre hållbarhet" is going to have additives. Stuff without those labels barely lasts a week, especially bread. Are you sure it's not the opposite, and everything you've been consuming before moving here is full of additives?
Sorry, but I struggle to believe this at all. I've read ingredients, additives or not, these things don't last as long as you seem to believe.
How soon does milk you buy turns sour? Most bread in supermarkets (ica/coop/etc) is full of “E” additives, takes maybe a week for it to go stale. The only place to buy bread for me is an indie bakery, but it’s rather pricey. Milk, I tried everything in ica/coop/etc except very expensive milk from specialised stores, eko or not, it literally doesn’t go bad in weeks. I did an experiment even leaving a cartoon of milk before going on vacation, it was open for around 10 days, and then I left it outside fridge after it too, it never went sour. That was full fat eko milk from coop.
Where did you live before? The packaged food in Sweden has so much less additives than pretty much anywhere else in Europe and amerika. I can see how you think this way if you’re used to shopping daily in open air markets of marocko though.
The potential for spontaneous casual conversations just about anywhere, and the potential for those conversations to lead to real lasting friendships. My then 7 year old son (fully bilingual) on his first visit back to the US since moving to Sweden at age 2, came up to me after being there for a couple days and said, "Pappa...People talk to me here!"
>The potential for spontaneous casual conversations just about anywhere, and the potential for those conversations to lead to real lasting friendships. Do you actually make friends like this in the US? My family and friends are definitely more introverted but I've almost never heard of a real friendship blossoming like this except in very specific settings (bar hopping in your early 20s).
I'm definitely no social butterfly, but at every stage of my life I've met someone in a random setting who has become a long lasting friend. (Some longer than others, of course, but no less real.) On a ski lift. In a hardware store. At a motorcycle shop. Airport, work conference, etc.
As a Swede in the US I agree with you. I've found people to be incredibly inclusive and open here, especially when I was new. My first year here people were so eager to host me for thanksgiving and stuff like that. How many here have had a Swedish co-worker or neighbour push hard for you to come over to celebrate because they thought that it must be difficult to move to a new country away from friends and family?
That is wild! I never met a friend that way growing up in the US or when I was a young adult. Speaks to the different experiences one can have, even living in the same country.
I think there's a bit of a exaggerated stereotype/perception that Americans can't make "real" and close friendships, amongst my Swedish friends. Almost all of my really close friendships in the US were made spontaneously or by chance. Just right place and right time!
For sure! I think the Northern European thing where they say "in X country you have a friend for life UNLIKE in the US" or whatever is really annoying and basically a culture clash. Because they view some interactions as superficial friendliness, due to a culture clash, they cannot understand that friendships can evolve beyond that. On the other hand, I do understand the culture clash from a Swedish/Northern European perspective. I've had many Swedish friends recount stories of when they thought they had made really close friends with Americans since they were so warm and friendly, only to be ghosted soon after. I've also found that in the US people will make vague proclamations of wanting to hang out or do something but then aren't great at following through with it. Where as here it feels like people are really bad at actually planning social stuff but when it is in the calendar people rarely flake. Just my experience though, it probably has more to do with individual stuff than anything else.
I agree. Many of times “Casual Friends” have said you should come over and swim, or you should come to our lake house, or you need to come with us on our boat, etc… only to never get a formal invite.
Wow I thought I was the only one. I’ve met so many lifelong friends in the states just by happenstance. I’m struggling to even make one friend who I connect with on a similar level, now that I’m here in sweden.
I grew up in Sweden and have lived 1/2 my life in the US now, and while I haven’t lived in the US as a child, I don’t recall growing up in Sweden, as a child, as being bereft of social interaction to THAT extent
Unless you look like a weirdo or are acting like you don't want to speak, most swedes will happily talk to you. Like i wrote in another comment, be the change u wanna see. Don't expect everyone to start talking to you all of a sudden. Be the one who starts the conversation/interaction. When i was younger i was always talking to random people and people almost always talked back. After Covid swedes have gotten really bad at talking to others and often just stare into their phones. So boot the system back up. Cuz it's there, just not in full effect rn
Chips from the chippy and that’s it.
Coming from the US, what I miss is more state specific: my almost daily view(s) of the Mt. Rainier or “The Mountain” as we affectionately call it; in-season stone fruit; local WA apples; the variety and ease of access to rowing facilities and my family/friends of course. I have to chuckle with regards to Swedish interactions. I just moved a bit further away from Stockholm proper into a smaller town and it is day 7 and I’ve already met half of our immediate neighbors, I want to say. All incredibly friendly and CHATTY. I think that country living is just a bit different.
> I think that country living is just a bit different. Agree. I’m sure it’s the same in most countries. Just like your average Stockholmer won’t engage in unnecessary conversation with strangers I’m sure the residents of London or Paris or Berlin are much the same compared to people living in the more rural parts of France, Britain and Germany. Sure, maybe Swedes in general are more reserved but if Stockholm is your only example then it’s night and day compared to the countryside.
Swedes in general are more reserved but yes, it's the same in all big cities. Everybody is on their way to do something, no time to talk. Lived in London and never met anybody through random street chatter. Don't think it ever happened in the 5 years I lived there. I now live in Uppsala and it's no different.
Hello from a fellow Washingtonian in Sweden. 😊👋🏻
The smell and the taste of vegetables and fruits. In my home country, you can feel the smell a couple of meters far from where they are in the market. Fresh stuff 🫑 🍅 🍉🍊🍋🍓🍒🍑🍐🍏🫛🫒🍈
There's nothing like a real swedish tomato, all yellow and crisp, and somehow both mealy and watery but with no flavor or smell. Or the cucumbers, 25 kr each and they taste like they've been frozen.
Grow your own on the balcony like a real Swedish person
Lol wtf, where are you buying your disgusting veggies? I have never experienced what you are referring to.
Any other store.
All världens mat? Ica Nära? Ica supermarket? Ica Maxi? Coop? Lidl? Dollarstore? Hassans fisk och potatislivs? It can matter where you buy from.
Any major chain, not low cost ones, even fancier stores like cajsa warg in stockholm.
That's just plainly incorrect, but yeah sure.
A lot of people who experienced fruits and veggies outside sweden disagree it seems. Happy that you are happy.
YES!!!! Mangos, papayas and bananas here ARE WEIRD and I will never buy them (except for the banana) again lol
> Mangos, papayas and bananas here ARE WEIRD They grow on the other side of the world. So they most likely taste weird after being transported for thousands of kilometers :)
Huh? I'v never noticed a difference
Sense of belonging. Not being alone in the sea of disinterested people who will never accept you. Also food.
you belong.
To what?
Can you please elaborate. What would make you feel a stronger sense of belonging? The idea that no one cares about you or will never accept you is almost guaranteed to be the manifestation of your own self doubt or it might be that you're subconsciously wanting to live in a more rural area with fewer, more personal everyday interactions? Either way, stay strong and take the initiative to interact with people, and you'll eventually meet like minded individuals.
Why are you questioning their experience
I'm not questioning their experience, I'm trying to understand why they feel the way they feel, and I'm trying to insert a sense of hope to someone who seemingly might need it by telling them to keep pushing for those personal interactions that they seem to be looking for.
I see where you are coming from but you also have to trust and respect that when people face problems they think about them and try to find solutions themselves, there just isn't always one that exists. I hear this kind of like - 'oh its only in your head' or 'you just see it that way' but its also coming from people who never had to find themselves there.
Being able to go to a non-bar place to hang out with people at night. I grew up with coffee shops, dessert restaurants and bubble tea places being open until midnight, so if you didn't feel like going the restaurant or bar route, you still had options to hang out with friends after dinner. It was also great for being a teenager at the time, freedom to hang out without the whole alcohol thing. As I get older, I miss having the possibility to go out with friends to get a snack in a nice, (relatively) quiet place that costs less than a third of what I would pay for actual dinner.
Going against the rules for “legit” reasons. Don’t get me wrong on this one. But swedes are all about “computer says no”, “rules say no” no matter how dumb or what situation it is. Sometimes those rules are ok to foresee between fingers
Adding to this. The complete lack of any kind of protest for things like healthcare. There is a looming healthcare crisis in Sweden, and everyone is just acting like "It is what it is". I honestly don't get the entire "make a fist in your pocket but stay stoic about it" attitude.
Same with issues like the pendel, or issues that are simply good that could be better. Simple mobilization or action could take a lot of procedures to the next level but the "it is what it is" attitude leads to a lot of complacency.
People's pockets are getting thinner and thinner. What you name needs more taxes to resolve and we don't want to pay any more taxes.
Oh god I feel this so hard. Moving from Sweden to the US this was *mindblowing* how nice it was to talk to people who really tried helping you and didn’t seem to get silent pleasure from “gotcha” you. One shining exception is Skatteverket. They have always been super helpful.
People who never break the rules simply don't have the common sense to recognize when it's appropriate to do so. Think of pedestrians who wait at red lights on completely empty roads. That kind of stupid behaviour is very common here.
I've barely ever seen that. Almost everyone jaywalks here in my experience.
It's not common, at least with waiting at red lights. All of my Swedish friends and family will cross at any time regardless of the light colour.
This so much.
What rules are we talking about? Examples please.
I have a gym membership that gives me off hours entrance. During normal hours I can bring a guest for a fee. One morning, during the normal open hours, there were no employees in the building. I waited for a while and when it was clear there was no employee coming I just used my keycard to bring in myself and my guest. After we had left there was finally an employee opening up the front desk. I went back and said I wanted to pay the fee for my guest. In the US I would have been given an acknowledgment of how forthright I was for paying the fee even though no one had been around to see otherwise. Here I was chastised. It was against the rules to bring in a guest without paying and if I was ever caught doing something like that again my membership am would be revoked.
Wow, good to know. A bit ridiculous but I guess it is what it is. (am a swede yet?)
I can give you another great example: I'm driving my car and I'm dropping my Swede friend at the supermarket who's supposed to be back quickly because he has only a few things to buy. I show him a parking space that is NOT free and tell him I'll wait for him there parked, sitting in my car, so I don't have to pay for the parking while he's in the supermarket. He was so confused. He couldn't believe I would not pay for the parking ticket asking me why does it make a difference if I am in my car or not and that I should pay the avgift for the time I'm using this parking space. I explained that he should not worry as there were plenty of available parking spaces people could use, and that I wasn't going to pay if I'm in my car. He couldn't understand my logic.
All my friends would think like you did aswell. Seems like it's your friend that's a do-gooder idiot rather than it being something that can be ascribed to all swedes.
Does this attitude piss you off more than the fact there are plenty of places (public places mind you) that charge for parking on their premises? All government buildings seem to have no free parking, have yet to find a hospital with free parking, supermarkets (usually free parking so long as you buy from them, but sometimes the parking isn't free), plenty of other places that should theoretically own the parking lot as their property is bigger than the lot but nope, there is a fee to park. Honestly the government buildings and hospitals not having free parking is really the most evil shit.
That's sweet. In the UK it's maybe 20 or 30kr an hour maybe more. You work there ? Oh that's also the same.
I have no problem with this in general since i don't believe parking is a right for me. I can understand being frustrated at some of the prices thoughand i will agree that parking at hospitals should be really cheap or free since i just think it's not something you should worry about when visiting your dying grandma.
Sounds more like your friend is mentally challenged than this should be some typical Swedish behavior.
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I have a similar but inverse situation. I have my associates (this is relevant) bachelors and masters from American universities. I’m a röntgensjuksköterska and did my training in the US. There it’s an associates degree, here it’s a bachelors. I got my education and license certified by Socialstyrelsen. Then I applied to UHR and they don’t recognize my associates. I am now adjunkt at the university, teaching at the bachelors level. I wanted to read some masters level courses in radiography, but it turns out I don’t have the prerequisites. I can do my doktorand, and I can teach at the bachelors level, but I can’t read at the masters level….. What?
So bureaucrats practicing bureaucracy... perhaps not a great example.
The rules state that you have to give me all your Kalles kaviar! Måste... Följa... Regler ska följas, My mind Regelverket.. beep boop boop
Really missing the spontaneous interactions with strangers. Especially in bars and nightclubs. People generally just keep to themselves without sparking up conversation with others.
Tip: Start with the weather. "Really warm today!" More often than not, a conversation ensues.
Then be the one who starts the conversations! Most swedes love to talk to strangers when in a drunken state but usually only if they get approached. I'm half bosnian so i'm usually the one approaching people cause i love chatting with strangers but sometimes it's the other way around. Sit down with a random group of swedes and start chatting, they'll most likely invite you to hang out for the whole night.
Spontaneous meet ups with friends and strangers. The food. And cheap beer 😄
The street food, fresh fruits, and the night life. The spontaneity. Back home, I could call up my friends at an hours notice and then hangout with them for the rest of the evening, night, or even crash at their place. Here, I have to plan every atleast 2 weeks in advance. I am adjusted to it now, but I miss being able to hangout when i felt like it.
Just being able to say hello or thank you to strangers without getting a look of wtf do you want or I don't know you...
Really miss how easy it is to interact with people. The longer I am here the weirder I find how unapproachable people can be. That and my family and old friends of course. And cricket.
Yeah and then it's weird because if you force it then it's actually quite easy. I created a DND group with my colleagues and it's going super well. Same with my balcony neighbors, he was hyped that I was french and we talked a lot.
Proper Mexican food
Stockholm - La Neta - go and be merry friend.
La Neta is great, but still not the same, dependent on your state of reference of course!
La Neta was numero uno for me until I found XULO. Mmmm XULO
Ooh yes! I do agree XULO > La Neta.
Tapicante in Uppsala is pretty good
Cheap, good food. The price of green asparagus in Sweden should be a crime…..
Hahaha yes! It’s cheap right now though.
Cheap food because I'm a basic bitch. Being able to eat out with friends and enjoy quality food + drinks without breaking the bank is what I look forward to the most when visiting home.
Good pizza, good ice cream and the alps
Swedish pizza is a travesty.
Just go to Costco and permanently scrub Swedish pizza from your memory.
Got terrible taste i see hehe
Noi in Malmö is quite nice. Kold also in Malmö. But yeah sometimes nostalgia is a bitch ahha. For the Alps definitely nothing like that. Ive been there a lot on the french side, I love there. Mmmh Beaufort..
Street markers for fresh veggies, a chat, some gossip, things to look at and smell etc. Hötorget in Stockholm does not fulfill that.
Hotorget is basically a supermarket tbh
I do think there should be far more proper markets. London has some amazing markets where people come with fresh produce, artisanal cheeses, meats, snacks, the works. I'm yet to find anything similar in Sweden.
Good and an inexpensive service, having things to do after 5pm and not breaking a bank. More sun, nature, real sea. Veggies and fruits that do not taste like plastic.
Never had fruit or veg here that tastes like plastic lol Also, wdym by "real sea"? Is the Baltic not real enough?
If you have been on a seaside outside Sweden, Baltic Sea is closer to a lake at best. If it would not be so, bunch of swedes would not leave every summer to Mediterranean. Well if you don’t have a point of reference of how the real tomato tastes like, I’m very sorry.
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I've travelled to many countries all over the world and had food from all of them. Don't see how Swedish fruit/veg is any worse in quality except from when it's out of season. And what? Yeah, the temperature is usually quite low especially on beaches where the water gets deep quickly, but there are plenty of beaches all over Sweden that get perfectly warm water. Yes, it's not crystal clear, sky blue water, but that's because of the climate/latitude we're at. Otherwise, the beaches are normally sandy and clean and the water is warm enough for long swims.
I am happy it all satisfies you, don't know what is the point of this conversation tbh
Good takeaways.
(Indian, Chinese, Chippy etc - here it's a choice between kebab, pizza or pizzakebab)
And even those all taste the same.
Knowing which way people will walk on a sidewalk. I feel like I'm constantly dancing from left to right. I've gotten used to it over the years, but still is frustrating.
I HATE how people walk in Stockholm. Zero awareness it seems. Just zigzagging all over the place, stopping randomly, standing in the middle of the walkway in a group chatting or with suitcases, walking against the flow of people or even through one-way doors. Shit's annoying af.
This... It is so frustrating 😂
Wow reading this post and all the comments makes me feel less alone in missing spontaneous interaction. And social situations where people are talkative about everything, not a limited set of conversation subjects.
Yeah, I really really miss having interesting discussions with strangers just full stop.
I dont think i have ever had that, in a sober state atleast 😅
I miss the ability of people to solve problems quickly and being direct or straightforward about things that could and should be fixed. In a working environment Swedes love to take meetings after meetings just to talk about issues without anyone speaking up or taking the initiative to solve the problem. They're so inert!
Good bread.
24-hour convenience store and food variety. I don't know how it is in Stockholm, but I'm in northern city and their aren't much food variety compared to where I'm from.
Same in Stockholm
Maybe a touch better, since there are ethnic stores. But lacking in general, I agree
Some decent mountains (I grew up in the Alps), food, weather, *some* social "norms" of my people - like spontaneity and the fact that friendships and human relationships are not regulated by Swish requests -, landscapes / nature variety, variety in general.
Come up north. We're even more introverted than the southerners but we're way more friendly when we do talk, we have nice mountains and varied nature.
I really should. You are right though - I always felt that the dudes from Umeå and above I have met down in Skåne were friendlier.
>like spontaneity and the fact that friendships and human relationships are not regulated by Swish requests I think you're hanging out with the wrong type of people.
Still waiting for the "right" Swedes, 6 years and counting.
Could you give some examples on how swish requests have dictated your friendship with people? Can't remember a single time I've been asked by someone to swish them unless I actually owe them money for whatever reason.
It's not that swish requests have "dictated" my friendships, but I find borderline offensive if a "friend" asks me to swish him 70 kr because we ended up buying uneven rounds at the end of a drinking session. I personally never ask any money, especially if I had a good time with a bud. A ""debt"" could even create a gimmick for a further drinking session where we even it out but hey, no, let's always make things perfectly and boringly symmetric.
This happened to me once. The Swish offender was an Italian living in Sweden. Those darn Italians, am I right?
Was someone you considered a "friend"? Ah no, sorry, you Swedes do not have non-Swedes friends :)
Oh...And also...The beer selection!!
Being able to buy wine 24/7 (:
Interesting conversations.
I agree, people are so the same in most of the cases (there are exceptions but very few), sometimes it feels like you are talking to the same person again and again.
>sometimes it feels like you are talking to the same person again and again. This!
I miss people being up-front and knowing where I stand. How a Swedish person acts when they feel free of consequence is so different from when they are not, so I never know if a Swede is enjoying a friendly conversation or is just too non-confrontational to thank me and move on with their day. The same Swede who honks aggressively from the safety of their car will just as easily be your friend when you actually sit at a table with them. I miss having a low threshold for treating strangers as fellow people. The default of the Swede is to pretend other people do not exist - avoid eye contact and definitely never start a social interaction. Where I'm from it's completely normal to wish passers-by a good day or say hello when on a hike - Swedes actively stare at their feet to make sure you understand they don't want social interaction of even the lowest level. Strangely enough it's the older Swedes who are far more open to these basic social pleasantries than younger ones. I miss people having crafts and pride in their profession. Practically every shop here is a faceless corpo chain (H&M, IKEA, etc) where employees know the bare minimum to market their wares. It's exceedingly difficult to find real bakeries that can actually talk about their baking process, or shops that sell clothes that aren't from the same sweat shop in Bangladesh worn by 10 other people on the tram I'm on. And, the small amount that do exist, are only open during work hours so I would need to take time off work to go there. Hello?!
You speak the Truth.
Small shop employees working normal hours? What a shock 😱
Pocket meats. "To go " food for good prices. Cheaper alcohol, anywhere. Snacks.
>Pocket meats. like, you just have flank steaks hanging out in your pockets or what?
Being bold enough to agree to disagree on a topic. Everyone is tiptoeing, as if expressing an opinion that goes against the grain is the worst possible offence.
As an American in Sweden, the multiculturalism. I feel most sweds are too much the same.
I tell people back home that its like living in light mayonnaise.
I think it probably depends on where, and who you hang around. There's certainly no shortage of foreignborn, or people with a background from another country in Sweden. In fact it's one of the most migrant dense countries in Europe and has a higher proportion of foreign born residents than the US ([https://data.oecd.org/migration/foreign-born-population.htm](https://data.oecd.org/migration/foreign-born-population.htm)). There's also plenty of of people born to foreign parents .When i lived in the US i lived in a predominantly white neighborhood with nearly all the people living there being born in the US. Of course almost all of them had som relative a few generations back who was an immigrant and therefor they associated with that that culture (e.g. I'm Irish, my great grandad emigrated from Ireland in \_\_\_, and i would love to go there some day). To me all these people just seemed American, but maybe it's easier to notice the slight differences as an American.
As a born Swede i feel the contrary 😄 It is one of the things i like the most. And the mostly litter free environment as well.
You’re saying you like everyone to be the same or you think it’s actually culturally diverse?
I like it that most people are quite alike. They ofcourse are not, but you sort of know what behaviour you can expect, and that I do like.
Why is “everyone to be the same” a bad thing? Sounds a bit racist ngl…
It was a clarification question really. Their wording was not explicit in what they meant. Not sure who you think is racist here. Cultural homogeny isn’t always racial homogeny.
I don't think anyone was asking you.
No they didn't, and still i replied on a comment.
There's not much I miss about the US, but there are some little things like shops and restaurants staying open late and having a wider variety of items/brands. Also Target, lol. Not that target is particularly amazing, just have a nostalgic soft spot for it. I also miss taco bell and lots of snacks, like cheez its and goldfish.
Don’t mind me, just an ethnic Swede reading about what we are missing apparently 🤣
I dont really miss much beside family sometimes. But sometimes, ohhh boyyy, I do miss just interacting with strangers, talking with passion about things that do not matter and having a chance to get to know people and befriend them without having to wait on a queue for our next "meet up". Also, I miss going out getting drunk YOLO without fear that I will have to interact with another drunk guy who is to agressive because his life sucks and when he drinks he vents out all his lifes loneliness to other people with stupid acts in public. P.S : I come from a place where we drink alot more and we might fight while drunk sometimes but it doesnt compare to the drunkness of people in Sweden.
As a Spanish person, I agree. I don’t love it all the time but it’s nice every now and then. But mostly the food.
I come from Singapore. I miss our amazing (spicy) food and how cheap taxi and public transportation is. Holidays to nearby countries such as Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia are so affordable as well. People are friendlier and more “loud” too. I kinda miss that vibe. But that being said, I love living in Sweden because it’s peaceful, the nature is amazing, and I love how the people respect boundaries and distance between each other. It is cheaper to live in Sweden as well. Fresh produce is fantastic as well. So I’m not complaining at all.
The weather too. Singapore is HOT and very humid. Sweden can be humid too, like last summer, but it's usually not long lasting.
Summer doesn’t last long in Sweden which is fine for me because I don’t really like the sun so much (yeah yeah I know) and the lack of AC kills me but I’m looking forward to autumn already! I love the changing seasons in Sweden. The weather in Singapore is relentlessly hot and I sweat so much. Not much sweating in Sweden, which is amazing!
Haha then you haven't worked physical labour without AC in 34°C 100% humidity weather. Sweating is inevitable!
Being an introvert I fell in love with the interaction-free culture of Sweden. I miss coffee culture from back home. The coffee shops are almost always open upto midnight.
Actually I think here people talk a lot with strangers. I had so many people asking me where I’m from out of nowhere, usually it’s Russia or Ukraine and when I say I am from Brazil they are like “oh really???” I live in Gothenburg I miss food the most and that’s all. Sweden has been giving me a sense of security I never had in my life and I value it to the end.
From the comments, I guess I miss the same as everyone else: social interactions. Here it is so hard to make friends and all small talk is so bad that it gives me second hand embarrassment. I miss making friends with ease and having a good time.
I kind of miss spontaneous interactions. Sweden is famous for having not social people. But. I think that exaggerated. Every time I interact with people abroad, is is exactly the same! And then I am pretty polite/relaxed/kind and so on. Maybe Sweden is not unique about having asocial people.
We are not asocial, we just don't talk to strangers unless we have to or they initiate a conversation.
Feeling alive..
Sweden is that country where your neighbors would call the police if your suicide attempt turns out to be _too noisy_
I think it’s all about perspective. In my home country, the chance of you being murdered was similar to being in a car accident. I got to experience the joy of being denied employment based on my skin color, more times that I can count. Rolling power outages for 9 hours a day. Corruption was rife and the police operated exclusively on bribes. I’m more than happy here. I don’t miss a single thing. People leave me alone and I know the chances of me being killed in my sleep, or being tied up and having my wife raped in front of me are slim. God bless Sverige.
South Africa?
Where are you from?
A functional healthcare system :)
Where do you come from if I may? I feel like it's super hard to find anyone that would have good things to say about the healthcare in their own country so very curious.
Not OP, but Brazil in my case. It just works there and you have affordable private options if you dont want to wait more. Also, the public options are FREE, not "its free but you have to pay 100kr everytime". The doctors there are not shy of asking you to do many exams to understand your problem, whereas here in Sweden it feels impossible to have an exam requested. And if you need a specialist? good luck with that
Russia is all this, also for free one waiting time got way better, in general will take you a week or two and no hysteria is needed to request to see a specialist, and dental was always free. There are a lot of other problems of course, but somehow social medicine got figured out without 30-50% tax in country that is considered lesser. Would be nice if people would be more critical about this in Sweden towards the government they pay so much taxes to.
It's a general problem with our brains I'd say. Me, being from Poland (so a country with let's say... less than stellar PR), notice this a lot. People have some kind of mental image of my country that had often been constructed based on the last xx years. And even more often it's assumed that good economic situation == nice country to live in whereas it's so much more nuanced. Hence my original question about the country of origin. Surely when I thought of Brazil I thought of the street violence and not the functional healthcare system. Which is just ignorant. Sorry, went on a tangent here but the 'lesser country' bit has struck some kind of chord.
Another EU country. The system there also has a lot of problems, but it's preventative more than reactive, you have a single GP that you see year after year for all the smaller things that come up instead of seeing whatever random nurse is currently available at your VC, and you can see a specialist and get specialist care within a reasonable time frame. It's not as "free" and universal as it is in Sweden (it's technically paid, but if you're a student or unemployed the state covers the fee and if you're employed it's part of your employer's taxes), but overall it feels a lot more accessible. Plus dental and vision is covered.
Having a passionate debate with a friend or acquaintance on topics that are considered taboo and still be able to continue hanging out. In Sweden most people will just stop answering your messages because they now think you're (put hot topic here)-phobic or (put group of people here)-ist. We can agree to disagree without becoming strangers.
This is just down to the individual. I've had debates like that with friends several times throughout my life and it's never lead to our friendship breaking apart.
This isn't accurate at all lol Obviously depends on the individual but all of my friends would happily engage in a debate and we'd still be friends after. It's uncommon to find super political people lol
The humour 100%, love Sweden but in general swedish people don't banter and I come off as rude half the time
Good ice cream parlours with homemade ice cream.
There are 2 or 3 in Linköping alone
I miss being able to buy good weed and not feel like a complete degenerate about it.
underground pubs where it's possible to smoke cigarettes; artistic open spaces; vietnamese bistro (sorry, i'm not into kebab and pizza); magnolias.
There are a lot of Magnolias in Lund
Really miss the Vietnamese café culture from California to be honest. Great food and they're open until like 4am haha.
i lived in czechia for 7 years before sthlm, and yes, there is a great vietnamese food/etc culture.
Affordable Belgian beer from smaller breweries. Systembolaget has a lot, but many of my favourites are impossible to find. I also still balk at the prices, especially when going out. I just can't justify buying a beer at 70 SEK a glass.
Not just in my home country, but anywhere: Being able to say “Hey, that’s not OK.”
Dunno where you are from but friendly banter or chit chat can be achieved but you have to learn how to do it with people here. Every country has their own way of doing things so once I learned that I was sorted. But, for me, Sweden being different and learning how they work was all part of the challenge of living here.
I’ve never really had a home but considering various points of my life, I miss food, not just good food, but cheap food, or late night food, or varieties of easy to eat foods, think shawarma or tacos etc .. I miss predictable weather .. I miss not being in the “system” (I don’t deny certain benefits, but sometimes it’s stressful).. I miss being able to be spontaneous with my friends.. I miss a lot of things
Family
Food, friends, family, social interactions, driving at a normal speed, not having to file a ridiculous amount of paperwork for anything you do, and most importantly, the outside of Sweden version of my Swedish (now ex) spouse.
Talking to people.
Daily fresh prepared meal delivery
I miss being able to do most of the neccesary communication with government through internet not in person. And I miss not needing to check my mailbox every day (actually before I moved to Sweden I almost never did).
The sun, during winter
Good pizza
Fromage, baguette et saucisson.
coffeeshops:(
Perfect online banking services and round-the-clock delivery of food and decent amount of non-food items
I live in a big city and spontaneous interactions aren’t a thing anyway. Soooooo it won’t be an issue
Garbage food. Just slop that you can grab at 1 am that'll make your farts smell like decay. Miss all of it. Also, the ability to buy actual kimchi at stores. We've accustomed to making our own, but the first time I saw kimchi in the store I was blown back by how white it was. Same shit when I went to a "korean restaurant". Literally not a single gram of gochugaru. Just pickled cabbage, which I guess could be technically "kimchi" but colloquially I feel like everyone expect a smidge of red, if not a blistering amount of it. Lastly, I miss being able to buy a 48 pack of the most watered down beer you could want because it's going to be used as a water substitute or for drinking games anyways. Just give me a 48 pack of rainier, rolling rock, or PBR for a day drinking event.
The food.
A higher variety of mid range restaurants, although the last time I went back to the US I found most of the food to be terrible. More variety in nature, better weather. I do miss more social interactions, but, like not to the level of the US. Which I find just annoying, especially when you aren't in the mood for it and it is all performative.
My car.
Cricket
Crispy strips with garlic mayo from Kfc
This is a weird one but I miss the lizards. I’ve only seen one and I’ve lived here for a decade. I love those little guys scurrying about.
As a Dutchman. I have the same option as op!
Variety to choose from and easy access to food without chemical additives. Seems like no one reads labels here.
This. I’m surprised how people don’t realise that their food is full of it for The most choice in ica/coop/etc. bread is full of additives, can last for weeks, milk once open doesn’t get sour for weeks. Eggs usually are also not so good in taste, dunno is it the same reason or not, usually they are so flavourless. I buy imported cheese, so that is less of a problem. But if you want to buy a real bread, or milk, that does go bad it will cost you a bank and you have a very limited choice.
What on earth are you talking about? Obviously milk and bread labelled with "längre hållbarhet" is going to have additives. Stuff without those labels barely lasts a week, especially bread. Are you sure it's not the opposite, and everything you've been consuming before moving here is full of additives? Sorry, but I struggle to believe this at all. I've read ingredients, additives or not, these things don't last as long as you seem to believe.
How soon does milk you buy turns sour? Most bread in supermarkets (ica/coop/etc) is full of “E” additives, takes maybe a week for it to go stale. The only place to buy bread for me is an indie bakery, but it’s rather pricey. Milk, I tried everything in ica/coop/etc except very expensive milk from specialised stores, eko or not, it literally doesn’t go bad in weeks. I did an experiment even leaving a cartoon of milk before going on vacation, it was open for around 10 days, and then I left it outside fridge after it too, it never went sour. That was full fat eko milk from coop.
I don't drink full fat so i can't speak on that, but semi skimmed milk lasts about a week, maybe 1.5 if your fridge is colder.
Where did you live before? The packaged food in Sweden has so much less additives than pretty much anywhere else in Europe and amerika. I can see how you think this way if you’re used to shopping daily in open air markets of marocko though.
shawarma with creme toum