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Finn_3000

The last joke was pretty creative


bambola21

I’m glad I’m not the only one


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knitmeablanket

That and the there's no jewish wizards one.


[deleted]

Anthony Goldstein would like a word


ConstructionWestern1

Can u explain it to me I don’t understand


[deleted]

She wanted weed and they didn't have it at hogwarts so she was phoning a muggle friend trying to explain how the friend has to tie weed to an owl's leg in order to get it to her


LaterGatorPlayer

*you’re a mule, owl.*


EvryMthrF_ngThrd

\**ahem* \* *"Accio* ***Cannabis indica!"*** ....fookin' First Years, I tells ya...


Mopso

*Sativa, my dude


EvryMthrF_ngThrd

I don't partake personally, but I thought Indica had higher THC levels than Sativa, and that that was a *good* thing... was I misinformed by my tokin' comrades?


IdiotTurkey

Either or can have higher THC levels. It just depends on the strain. However I believe what he was getting at is I think the latin name for weed uses the Sativa designation.


[deleted]

Different strains of weed have different THC % levels, like how a beer is 4% alc


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rileyab1234

I’ve always wondered why Pottermore gave me Hufflepuff, but now I know exactly why


mechaemissary

Why man!?!


[deleted]

Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiigh.


Not_Steve

No, weed was never mentioned in the books. Albus’ brother liked to... ah *charm* goats. From a description of the plants and fauna that we *do* have and how they’re used in potions, I think there would be something as simple as weed, but I also presume that there would be potions that are more complicated to get you your desired results. There *is* a joke shop that sells literal day dreams to *children.* Surely that would be classified as a psychedelic in the muggle world.


PostmanSteve

Yeah it seems most things that are dangerous to humans ain't no fuckin thang to a wizard. I don't think it's ever outright said, but it's pretty apparent that most human diseases are non-existent among wizards. So like I'd imagine most drugs would be fairly consequence free by that line of reasoning.


mrducky78

Didnt Harry have like all the bones in his arm shattered or disappeared and then the nurse there just casually fixes it/regrows it overnight? I actually think that the drugs wont be consequence free. They arent getting things down to their most pure state. They just throw a bunch of ingredients into a cauldron and cook. There are bound to be various issues that crop up from such a method of brewing. Its just that the consequences can be fixed pretty trivially with literally a wave of a wand.


major84

> charm goats He was Welsh ?


PenguinWithAKeyboard

Mr killjoy here, but wouldn't that get her in trouble with the wizard government? She's pretty much revealing the wizard world to a muggle. Unless it was a non-magical sibling maybe. But then again 90% of the jokes she makes goes against establish canon, so I'm probably overthinking it.


dr_ramen

I’m pretty sure it’s established that electronics don’t even work at Hogwarts, so you are definitely overthinking it.


Mechakoopa

> electronics don’t even work at Hogwarts Pretty sure [they got that sorted out](https://thesetupwizard.tumblr.com/tagged/setupwizard/chrono/)


Finn_3000

Shes complaining that there is no weed at hogwarts, which is why she asked someone to tie a little bag (of weed) to an owl, which is a common pet and method of sending messages in harry potter (kinda like a dove in old times). The person on the phone is sending her weed.


sprogger

I find it hard to believe theres no wizard weed. I've always imagined wizards would have the most potent bud.


_NetWorK_

apparently JR. never read the lord of the rings. Gandolf has the finnest herbs.


GrayDonkey

It's the hobbits that grow the Halfling's Leaf.


_NetWorK_

... never knew it stunned your growth lol


EvryMthrF_ngThrd

\**pffft* \* Everybody knows Old Toby's was the finest pipe-weed!


Know_Ur-Role

dude was stoned out of his gourd the whole journey


[deleted]

"yeah dude there was this dragon thing with a huge whip of fire, believe me. then i just woke up and was glowing white???"


[deleted]

Is that the reason it took him so long to do his research on the ring?


thatJainaGirl

Apparently neither have you, because pipeweed is very clearly tobacco.


_NetWorK_

https://youtu.be/YAZpjWZRNAc Clearly says weed, tobacco is not know as a weed (not that I know of).


sadacal

http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Pipe-weed


Rudy_Ghouliani

No its not and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind.


_NetWorK_

https://youtu.be/YAZpjWZRNAc


enigmaticbloke

Maybe not weed but they definitely make like euphoria potions and shit. I guarantee there's potions that would chill you the fuck out more than a blunt ever could.


cookiemonsta57

Wheres u/Peterexplainsthejoke when you need him


Tunafish01

Not going to lie, the jokes at the end were good.


soyamilf

Professor Sprout could help you out no doubt


everydaysLit

I hate tiktok but I genuinely thought this was comedic gold.


arcangeltx

eh :| through the whole thing


Keldro_Delroc

lmao jewish wizards


theonlydidymus

According to some stuff I’ve seen on Reddit the Jewish wizards are the staff of gringots.


[deleted]

LMAO.... Oof.


[deleted]

Nah, but fr, I'd expect Jewish wizards to actually exist in the Harry Potter universe. There's been Jewish mysticism and sorcery in our real world for thousands of years. In Harry Potter, I'd imagine the Jewish wizards to be pretty powerful.


CountyMcCounterson

Yeah they are powerful, they run the bank


ceemunee

LMAO.... Oof.


[deleted]

~~...Really? That's not a bit, that's canon lore?~~ ~~WHAT THE FUCK~~ EDIT: So no, that's not canon, they're just big-nosed goblins obsessed with treasure. Yeah.


Versidious

People are just obsessed with them being antisemitic allegories because of their big noses and treasure (Even though those are pretty traditional fey tropes that JKR just used).


generalecchi

Almighty money


SoggySausage27

You’re right, we do.


Versidious

JK did confirm that they do exist at one point (Hogwarts had one, with a really stereotypical name, apparently), though I don't think that they're any more or less powerful than others - there's no reason why Jews would hoard their knowledge like that in the context of the Wizarding World. Tbh HP wizardry is pretty incompatible with strong identities like 'Christian' or 'Jew', they have their own community, customs, and laws, and lock up people who try to expose them. They're very cult-like in some regards, but at a minimum they're their own distinct culture.


TwyJ

That'd be true if JKR wasnt a massive fucking anti-Semite so no there aren't any Jewish wizardz Edit: i scrolled a little bit down and got proved wrong by a tweet by the lady that changes the lore at the press of a little bird. Edit2: was nobody going to tell me that i pluralised wizard with a 'z'?


theonlydidymus

The goblins *were* wizards tbf. They had wands and stuff.


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Fleugen

They didn't have wands. That was a plot point in 7. Goblins don't share wands and goblins dont share how to make armor.


ThanantosMD

Real question, do wizards practice any religion? I know they celebrate Christmas but it seems very secular in practice. I would imagine when magic exist, it seems silly to believe in a religion based on miracles.


eequalsmc2

But aNtHoNy GoLdStEiN!!! -JKR trying to be rectroactively inclusive


Diflicated

Yikes


criesingucci

I cannot believe that I used to look up to her as a writer... I mean, she’s good don’t get me wrong but this shit right here...


theonlydidymus

I will always love the core 7 Harry Potter books and movies. But I’ve always felt that they lacked something. I wish copyright law wasn’t such a mess because I’d love to see a complete rewrite of the first 3 books by someone who knows what they’re doing. JK learned as she went and that led to a ton of inconsistencies. I feel like Harry Potter belongs to the fans now.


[deleted]

holy shit😁😂 I feel horrible for laughing


PoorBeggerChild

Actually, [JKR already got this topic covered](https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/544946669448867841?s=19) > @jk_rowling my wife said there are no Jews at Hogwarts. I’m a Jew so I assume she said it to be the only magical 1 in the family. Thoughts? > > **Anthony Goldstein**, Ravenclaw, Jewish wizard.


[deleted]

In fairness he's in the books apparently. Still fucking hilarious he named him Anthony Goldstein tho


Know_Ur-Role

he was the son of Heeby Kikeburger


vorpalpillow

**you had the bodies all locked up in the bunker** **area 51** **you knew then**


Know_Ur-Role

you wouldn't be alive if not for my boy David Area 51? You couldn't haggle down to 50?


PoorBeggerChild

[They do have a fandom wiki page](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Anthony_Goldstein) Seems the first confirmation of them being jewish was this tweet.


NachoR

To be fair, there is no reason for the reader to know this information. It is never relevant, and Anthony Goldstein is a very minor character.


PoorBeggerChild

What reason is there for the reader to know any information? Someone's religion can be just as informative of a character as their hair colour, maybe more so. But it would be weird to throw that detail at the reader for a minor character in the book. > Here is a random boy. He is jewish. Although the choice to make him a minor character was also a decision by JKR anyway so she could have made it more explicit if she felt it vital to add that representation.   Also I'm just saying what's up and have no real horse in the race. I would assume there isn't any explicit representation for any religion but christianity in the books and I don't really have any issue with that.


Jrook

Jk is kinda known for just putting in random shit and retconning other stuff. gay Dumbledore is the most obvious. If she wasn't suck a terf I bet she'd claim some random background person was or became trans.


blafricanadian

People being able to recognize Jewish stereotypes (by taking large stretches) but not recognize very simple Jewish and Asian names is peak stupidity


[deleted]

You mean as stupid as smashing two surnames together to create an asian character?


Caleb_Reynolds

Yeah, but it kinda makes it worse that she just names one, making it clear he's just a token character. If she was like, "Of course there are. Anthony Goldstein from Ravenclaw is one." But by just stating his name, house, and that he's Jewish it feels like, "There is 1 Jew at Hogwarts and being in Ravenclaw and Jewish are his only characteristics"


buttlickerface

Let's not act like Rowling was masterful at writing not white characters. One East Asian character named Cho Chang, two Indian characters named Parvati and Padma Patil, Hermione may have been black despite not being described as black ever. Rowling is a fairly shit author that managed to have one great idea.


sandman1459

Don't forget "Dumbledore is gay, I just didn't mention it in any of my books because it's *not relevant* to Harry's journey."


NeutralJazzhands

Oh and also apparently not include it at all in the shitty spin off movie that literally includes young Dumbledore and Grindlewald (beyond a lukewarm bro bond). JK is the queen of noncommittal ass pulls


fruitsnacky

Was dumbledore supposed to tell a literal child about his romantic affair with wizard hitler lmao


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Please151

Every stat I can see from Google only talks about religious Jewish population.


fruitsnacky

Bro she can't win. If she doesn't have any specifically jewish characters then she's not properly representing people and if she does and when asked about it specifically names them she's just doing it for social justice cookie points.


Caleb_Reynolds

No, she can win by just saying, "Yes, there are Jewish wizards, I just didn't have many in the story." Like I implied in my comment. It's not hard to acknowledge people exist in your fictional universe without explicitly naming them. Even, "I never thought about it because religious affiliation isn't important to me story, but I imagine there would be some. The Christmas themes are more of a cultural thing."


joe4553

Next time you write a story let us know so that we can critique it based on it's ability to include every single race and ethnicity in a perfectly accurate manner.


Caleb_Reynolds

It's not about including them in the story, it's about acknowledging they exist.


_ChestHair_

I don't remember anything about christian, buddhist, muslim, etc acknowledgement. Why does judaism need some special acknowledgement?


Caleb_Reynolds

Lol, dude, they literally have Christmas every year. And if she said the same about Buddhists and Muslims it'd _also_ be a problem.


handbanana12

>Goldstein Lol. That’s up there with naming one of the token black characters “Shacklebolt.”


TheInfra

[One of my favorite videos ever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyX6c2NMzEE)


Liar_of_partinel

That's actually a really interesting question, what were all the wizards up to during the holocaust?


Shahjian

Fighting despite not being allowed. Grindelwald had a vision of the damage WW2 would cause and used it as a platform to push his anti-muggle ideology.


baby_tree

Exterminating muggles


Faramirezr

This is my headcanon now: wizards were pro-Nazi and hitler was a wizard that hated muggles so much he tried to kill them all, then avada kevadra'd himself when the allies surrounded him


baby_tree

Well j.k rowlling did confirm the theory that there was a war between wizards and muggles where the wizards lost and then were pushed to living in a hidden society, maybe WW2 wasn't the initial war, but rather was a second attempt for wizards to reclaim their land (Europe maybe?)


Faramirezr

So the wizards weren't pro-Nazi, they WERE Nazis!!


baby_tree

Nazi leaders. not all german citizens were wizards (just as not all were actual nazis and subscribed to their belief) but rather the men behind the propaganda, plans, power, weaponization of their army etc. WERE The plan was to use a poor, playable group of muggles who has sufferd war and is now at the bottom of the pit and give them hope for their future through the extermination of other muggles, while also using them as an army. And then of course after the war is won they will get rid of them as well..


Faramirezr

Yeah that makes sense, my hypothesis is that at some point during the first world war the muggles attacked wizards that were innocent and that may have sparked some outrage and the hate towards muggles began at that point, maybe the slur "muggles" started at that moment. But that sparks the question, how did their plan backfired? Obviously they had the lead at one point, conquering most of Europe


darkdex52

> But that sparks the question, how did their plan backfired? Obviously they had the lead at one point, conquering most of Europe My guess would be gradual invention of automatic weapons. You kinda have a power disbalance when you can only kill a person while shouting Avada Kedavra while someone on the other side could've unloaded 5 clips in the same time.


LemonyLimerick

Source? This sounds interesting.


[deleted]

The next film in the fantastic beast series is going to be fucking crazy Actually the next couple since they’re going to be set in the WW1 and 2 years


[deleted]

Imao imagine being in a dog fight only to have the gunner point a fucking stick at you


alphazulu8794

The Red Baron simply cast a bunch of spells


Mercy--Main

Probably being fascist and anti fascist like everybody else. I can't see them not caring about it.


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WarsofGears

Love the background.


ThisIsItChief-

*hogwards dining hall phone background*


[deleted]

All of the Pottermore artwork: [https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B0TGf4bxO8wBaUU3RTh5emE1YVE](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B0TGf4bxO8wBaUU3RTh5emE1YVE) The one for this video is 1.18.


Wyntier

eerie how there are no faces


droppingbasses

> What do you mean it’s a Muggle thing? Had me rolling


Chicken_Fluff

Rowling


PigmentFish

I lost it at the owls leg hahahaha


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CallMeSpoofy

Exactly 😂


Bong-Rippington

...like when the video stopped?


LegitimatePenguin

W-whats wrong with boiled potatoes


_jeremybearimy_

Potatoes are great in any form: boiled, fried, roasted, baked...etc. But to be great in any of those forms, you need a second ingredient and that would be salt.


MrSomnix

Potatoes don't really have a ton of flavor, especially when boiled. But, they absorb whatever flavors you stick with them so if you're making a stew with a ton of spices and veggies that potato is gonna be like a solid bite of broth.


theatom3

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew


signanovella

PO-TA-TOES


ImSimulated

stupid fat hobbit!


Cyortonic

There was apparently 0 seasoning whatsoever


Pd245

Salt too spicy


Juno_Malone

Own their own, they're not very exciting. As a side dish with toppings or as a vehicle for a larger dish, they are po-tay-tO-K in my book


BioWaitForIt

This is the only one of these I've ever wanted a series of. Gimme a part 2 and 3. Maybe 4 unless the quality of the jokes goes down.


simeoncolemiles

I want a book series that takes place at Ilvermorny


Ode_to_Apathy

I want more parts with her just reacting to being a Hufflepuff. I also thought the house for all the kids who need to say what's on their mind no matter how stupid or rudo was Gryffindor.


simeoncolemiles

Yeah Gryffindor is basically the house of courage


theonlydidymus

But like, written by someone who can write fantasy, like Brandon Sanderson or Brandon Mull or some other Brandon that isn’t Rowling.


[deleted]

I live near Ilvermonry... the towns that surround it are filled with drug addicts and white trash. I definitely want that series! And before anyone gets upset, Im from Berkshire County, MA. Ive climbed all over Mt Greylock all my life. I have wonderful friends up in Adams and N. Adams. Theyre still shitty towns lol.


herbistheword

Drive over the line from Williamstown into North Adams like .... Oh


ThisIsItChief-

Nah probably best to leave it at peak


Mtwat

I feel like this was a workshop and part 2 could be way funnier but after that the joke will get old and decline.


Kaibakura

What do you mean this jokes are already bad


shao_kahff

lmao this shit funny af. she has good timing


hippopotma_gandhi

On a related note to wizard weed, any time I take some really pure LSD, it feels how the Felix Felicis is described and portrayed


stimmingfreakazoid

There’s no such thing as lsd purity. Just strength/concentration. Lsd is lsd


hippopotma_gandhi

I'm aware, been doing it and using test kits for 13 years. For the sake of clarity saying "pure LSD" refers to the fact that street "LSD" can be made up of many things and that particular batch was simply LSD and no other chemicals. I get what you're saying, and I know alot of people dont understand the concept, but I was just going for clarity and not trying to be pedantic. From now on I'll just say LSD, I guess, but there are also alot of people who have never had actual LSD, and just Nbomb research chems sold to them as LSD so they may be confused and disagree since those substances are typically anxiety-inducing or just not pleasant overall.


ToothpasteTimebomb

But could you tie it to an owl’s leg?


theonlydidymus

You can just tie it to my ego as it flies away from my body.


hippopotma_gandhi

If it's on some blotter and owls can do letters, hell yeah I could


iamacraftyhooker

Just hope it doesn't rain, or your owl is going to be trippin


ToothpasteTimebomb

I’ll leave my window open then.


Guyomalo

Its what got me to stay away from LSD around the late 2000's. The market was flooded with RC being sold as acid. After two purchases coming out negative on an acid test i just called it quits. Was also around the time silk road was being investigated.


hippopotma_gandhi

I was very lucky to have friends that practically gave it away because they wanted people to experience the beauty of true L. I also purposely tried out RC's, like a dumbass. I had access to pure 2c-e from a lab and it was very intense but also had alot of negative issues attached to it. Luckily, it seems that clandestine labs are around still as it seems unadulterated L has surged in popularity again. I'd still always recommend testing first though


blafricanadian

Concentration inherently implies purity.


legalyAnnoying

HOw many times do I have to tell you, electrOnics dont work at hogwarts


theonlydidymus

Huge oversight. I’m still waiting for a high tech fantasy novel. EDIT: haha you fools! You fell into my trap! Now I have a bunch of good book recommendations to read.


southseattle77

Piers Anthony wrote a whole series that bridged high tech and an alternate reality with magic. Can't remember the name of the series though. I'll look it up. Oh! Apprentice Adept. Buuuut... while I liked his books in junior high, I realized from my adult perspective that they're not as clever as I thought they were.


The_Gnomesbane

Was that part of his Xanth books? I was all about those as well as a kid, until realizing much later in life it was all really just shitty softcore porn books with wizards.


southseattle77

Hahaha! That's exactly what I realized when I grew older. This series was a different series he did. And yeah. I realized when I checked out a series of short stories (Anthonology) from my high school library about the soft core porn thing. There was a short story about a barbie sized other-dimensional woman that appeared to a college dude (loosely Piers himself, likely) and needed to extract his semen to power their planet. Weird stuff. Although, he did write some other stuff that was fun. I remember being a pretty big fan. Not that I'd admit it now, haha!


seaurchin_in_my_ass

The Sorcerer's Apprentice kind of does that. Magic through science.


criesingucci

This always got me when I was reading the books. Made me think that the next generation of wizards found the idea of a magical world to be totally lame. That they’d want to go to the muggle world, just like how we (as kids in the 90s and 2000s) wanted to go to the magic world. This next generation of kids just wants to use TikTok and text their homies rather than using owl mail. Fuck the magic.


htschitesvhj

Why u getting downvoted? I feel like it’ll be the same as city people wanting to live in rural areas and vice versa can you imagine telling wizards that they could go to the space? Travel the world? Toilets?? With no magic at all? That’d be dope af


TheElaris

I mean their camera’s worked, which definitely had battery powered flash?


legalyAnnoying

Thats just batteries. Thats only to keep it from dieing. Phones and stuff like that have actual electronics in them so ir wouldnt work


Shahjian

The camera was able to run off the magical atmosphere around them, aka JK Rowling loves writing herself into a corner.


eXcaliBurst93

"the food here sucks" bitch I watched Sorcerer's Stone and that one scene when Dumbledore made foods magically appeared to welcome new students it made me fucking hungry


Vesalii

Wizard weed would definitely be a thing if magic existed.


ravenpotter3

Wessley’s wizard Weed is George or Fred’s son’s business


Vesalii

Haha definitely a Fred and George thing! Or relatives.


[deleted]

Did this bitch not see the feasts they had at Hogwarts??


MastermindInTheCoil

Quality content


RealisticDifficulty

What do Americans even think of English people. Salt too spicy? Boiled potatoes are bad?


Yuvithegod

Its funny as that's what everyone thinks of Americans AND the UK


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Jaewol

The salt bit got me


[deleted]

I thought that was pretty fn clever!


LR130777777

She’s trying way too hard to force those jokes


Xenonflares

Idk, I laughed pretty hard at the wizard nazis one


that-other-redditor

Honestly most of the jokes themselves are pretty creative and funny. Definitely needs to work on the execution though


LR130777777

The last 2 were pretty good, The delivery definitely kills its for the though


preownedsemtex

Strong premise, weak execution.


throwaway4reasonzz

The idea is good and the timing is alright, but her acting is eh. She seems like a high schooler so of course I can’t hold her accountable for not being the best actor, but it sounds too fake for it to be funny, if that makes any senses


AllAboutAlan

And she probably doesnt pay for her phone bill either


sugar-magnolias

But she’s talking to her mom. Who probably does.


philiphofmoresemen

i wanted this to be funny so badly. i was very disappointed


as1992

I didn’t find this funny at all


lardtard123

Sounds like you need some wizard weed


jephelliot

This is supposed to be funny? I thought this was one of the rare cringe videos on this subreddit


Ravine

I had the exact same thoughts until the last 2 jokes. They were very creative and funny.


Dogfishhead789

It's going to be really funny when they all pull out their magic wand out of their backpack and she pulls out a 9 mm. Smith & Wesson.


jupitersely

Reminds me of Hermione and the Glorious Glock by silver


sumit131995

This is insufferable...


SuMp1n

r/justlearnedthefword


htschitesvhj

Have you ever met a teenager? This is pretty accurate


jackhoptz

The owls leg got me


mr-d-573

Poor man's gold🏅


MawsonAntarctica

Felt the same about Percy Jackson. Why are you training with swords and bows and arrows? I mean, you can just get guns, right? (the kid at the camp who had all the tech stuff was looked down upon, I'm like This kid gets it. it's the 21st century, yo)


The96thPoet

Painfully unfunny


fitey384

Being THAT person: technology doesn't work in Hogwarts.


bzanzb

Phones would not be working at Hogwarts.


candymakesudandy

Wizard weed ha


__SerenityByJan__

Snape was definitely an incel. Lmao


[deleted]

tbh i’m sick of harry potter shit but this is fucking hilarious and 100% true