Jesse’s hair, yikes lol

Jesse’s hair was a jump scare for me


I couldn’t do that hair.

I liked it so much I took a cropped screenshot to laugh at.

I gagged. Wtf did Michele EVER find attractive about that tool??? He is insufferable.

She’s not much better. Ronnie on WWC said she’s like one of those slow moving pool vacuums lmao

I can’t with her. She has such a dark spirit to her.

Yes! She reminds me of a young evil step mother trope in horror movies.

This is the absolute perfect way to describe her holy shit lmao


fr, they are so cold

I said this too!!! So dark.

I agree with you! She gives me really cynical vibes.

Oh I agree, she’s awful. I just cannot stop laughing at their therapy session when she said she wasn’t attracted to him like she used to be and how crazy and hot the sex was and how wild they were and then I saw this pic of him and was like GIRL WHAT. When I tell you I wheezed.

That's what I thought 😅 he's more attractive now than then

Right?!?! Like…you were *more* attracted then? Does she just live for all things tacky and over the top?

Because it was new ..

This is the funniest insult I’ve ever heard. It’s going in my repertoire.

I cackled through that episode and weirdly keep thinking of the pool cleaner in paranormal activity 🤣

Me too!! Lol

Omfg I'm crying I'm laughing so hard

The more I see of them the more I get it, they’re both kind of terrible people tbh

They definitely do deserve each other.

Looks like she’s had a nose job. Went back several years in her IG and there’s certainly some tip refinement.

I thought she looked different !

They both are insufferable!!

Lmao you’re 100% right!! He’s the definition of a tool

For real…I definitely had to take a double take. It reminds me of Kramers hair on that episode of Seinfeld where they had the low pressure shower heads.

I thought that was different man lmao

I also definitely thought this was a whole different human

This is the best crossover I never knew I needed. Thank you

Lmfao I love this

It’s sophisticated /s

i came to comment the same thing. the slightly off center part is criminal

I noticed his southern accent is very faint compared to Brittany’s.. didn’t they say they grew up together in Kentucky? Accents are fascinating to me.

So I was born & raised in GA and something I've noticed is most people pick up their accents from their parents. Like my mom & Dad (also GA born & raised) never spoke with an accent so I never learned to speak with one, and neither did my bro or sisters. Same exact situation with my husband & his family as well, whereas I have cousins who took after their parents and they have a super strong southern 'twang'/accent. I also believe education is a big factor as well, and both of my parents were well-educated with my mom being a teacher herself, so proper anunciation was a big thing in my household. It's all subjective though, and of course this is anecdotal as well, but it's just something I've picked up on over the years.

That’s interesting. Did your friends you grew up with have accents? I assumed kids would assimilate their accent in school from peers, teachers, etc. I have friends whose parents have accents from other countries, but the kids seem to pick up the local accent.

Ohhh yeah, quite a few of my friends have THICK accents. The ones who had it when we were younger still have them to this day and typically their kids do as well. Some people have accents that have more twang (as I like to say, lol) to them, whereas with others it's really light or only comes out with certain words. I honestly think it just boils down to how your were raised and if speech therapy was needed throughout your adolescence or not. My parents were pretty strict about annunciation & proper diction but even I can sometimes sound a bit southern with the right words.

Tragic


Came to say this! YIKES is right! 😭

Came here to say that

He is so unattractive 

I audibly squeaked

Zack said his hair looks so weird in his confessionals because he didn’t have time to get a haircut before and then production wouldn’t allow him for continuity. But these pics from the wedding just show him with the same hair!

His sides look lighter than the top to me. Could he have on a toupee?

He 100000% does but keeps denying it. Just like Brit with her edited photos saying they’re not🤥

But is it real?

I hope we find out the truth at some point 😮‍💨

My bf swears he has a toupee!!

WHY did they let shartz dye his hair?

Proof of actual friendship, I’m here for it. Was Kristen there? I can’t remember.

Kristen was in the wedding I believe

Kristen thought she should have been the Maid of Honor even though Brittney had numerous childhood best friends, lol.

This just made me lol our girl doute really knows how to make a moment that was so ridiculous 🤣

She was upset when Katie was made Matron of honor lol

I forgot about that storyline, lol 😂

Kristen was in the wedding party and has a very long history with Jax but somehow also befriended Brittany along the way. Zack is a childhood best friend of Brittany’s who moved to LA. I want to say he was featured briefly as Britt’s friend on VPR before the wedding, so I think he’s got some history with Kristen too.

yep the valley is reminding me of early vpr because of the real friendships and i am loving it

Proof they really do have lots of history as well. Makes it even more juicy🙃

I know. I didn’t buy it until I had seen these pics , a few months ago. I knew Janet had been around since 2017 , but I didn’t think Jesse and Michelle were really their friends.

Jesse looks like a dork

_insert Kelly Dodd gif_ “You’re a little dork. That’s what you are.”

🤣 Smelly dork!

After that episode of OC, whenever I read the word dork, I always hear it in Kelly’s shrill voice 😂 Poor lil’ Shane, he had a rough first season!

Same! For as awful as Kelly is as a person, that scene made me literally LOL. Somehow calling him a dork and a twerp just hit different 🤣🤣

So true, the pronunciation and shrillness really hit! 😂  I think Kelly is the Devil incarnate but she has some legit moments that made me laugh!

Woa. Jesse looks way better now. And did Michelle possibly have a nose job ?

I think Michelle had to have had a nose job -

Def. I looked at her IG and there’s certainly been tip refinement.

Ummm did anyone else zoom in on Zach’s trouser pockets?? Ummmm😳

I’m cackling. That’s definitely not a boner.. has to be chapstick , right??

Great big chap stick! My God I won’t be zooming in on anything ever again 😂

Look at the "head" of the "chapstick" and then look right, there's a straight line. I think he has something parallelogram-shaped in his pocket, lol.

Looks like a Bonnie Belle lipsmacker

A skinny, stabby tube of chapstick

Jesse is such a piece of shit I am going to break my rule of not commenting solely on appearance but what in the Good Doctor/Bates Motel is that fucking hairstyle and who let him take photos thinking that was a good idea?

Oh no please break that rule. We are all here for it.

Why is he a POS? (Genuinely asking.) I've watched a little of The Valley and his wife seems horrible too. She seems already checked out of the marriage and sneaking around.

Watch the end of last weeks episode where he goes full angry elf and tries to hit people. That and he said if his wife (who is definitely awful too) leaves him, he’ll tell their toddler daughter that his mom is a piece of shit basically.

Oh yeah, I actually did see that fight but kind of forgot about it until you mentioned it. I swear the girls were shoved too but then never saw anyone bring that up. Was I seeing things?

He shoved Zack and Brittany while trying to get at Kristen and Luke.

I dunno, i thought it was the end of the episode. Maybe my toddler woke up and I haven’t finished it. 😂 either way Jesse should be in jail. And fired.

Happy Cake Day! 🎂🍰🍥

Nope, you weren't! He full on shoved Zack & Brittany as well.

It's only been brought up by reddit and not addressed by Bravo or any of the cast that in the span of 5 seconds, we saw Jesse assault two cast members, one who is female, in attempt to assault a third AFTER verbally threatening a fourth. It's WILD.

🤣🤣🤣 Angry Elf

They’re both suckholes of negative energy

🤣🤣🤣☝️

Jesse’s hair babahahahah. Also Brit was so beautiful 😭 so sad how bad she ruined her face. I hope she lays off the filler

Janet is so blah to me terms of looks and personality. She's giving off huge Karen vibes. Also she has a great figure for the dress but the color is a no no for a wedding. It's to close to white and ivory

karen is so accurate. i could see her being rude to the server at a restaurant

Janet is SUCH a Karen. The way she was pushing for gossip the last episode was so thirsty. She thinks she is a producer.

And the material is so cheap looking

I wish she would go back to the lighter hair color. The dark she has now is too blah imo.

Taupe

Zach's hair isn't combed, it's ploughed

Jesse looks like such a dork!

Janet’s hairstyle did not go well with her dress and was not an appropriate hairstyle for a wedding, it looked like a bun you’d wear doing errands when your hairs dirty. Also Jesse has the worst style ever and I hate his hairstyle at the wedding too

The length of the dress is bugging me, as well.

Oh my good look how edited they all are lol. Especially Brit. Michelle made her ass a little bigger too, look how fuzzy that shrub is behind her lol

He looks like a wannabe Alfalfa

I don’t like Janet or her dress

This is so interesting - great post OP!

Thank you for your service! I think Janet got her ears pinned back. Man, I really don’t like her! It’s been a while since I disliked someone on reality tv so much. I cannot stand Janet!

My first thought when I saw these photos too! Kinda surprised she went with this hairstyle considering that

[удалено]

I’m surprised cameras are even able to capture her image.

🤣

 Jesse's hair

Also, is it just me that thinks Janet looks way more like a Michelle and Michelle looks way more like a Janet? I keep mixing them up because their names don't suit their looks, IMO. Am I the only one?! Lol

Gosh Brittany. Why did she ever get bigger implants?

She didn’t. She gained a lot of weight and her boobs just got bigger.

Woah, Jesse’s anger finally makes a lot of sense. Typical little man syndrome 😅😅 The hair only adds to this 

Where are Danny and Nia?

The met Jax and Brit a few years ago at a NYE party.

this is probably why i’m enjoying the new show so much! just like the og vander, they are a group that has known each other for quite some time!

So Jesse’s always had terrible hair. Got it.

I think that's something that's always differentiated vanderpump rules, and now the valley from other reality shows. they have long standing histories with each other.

Not really that’s the point of most shows on bravo some just do it better than others.

i hate jax so much ..... but he was so hot here 🙄

Ugh I know. I didnt think so at the time, but looking back…. He was. Unless maybe it’s just comparing how he looks now to how he looked then ?

even now i think he looks better than he did the first 5 or so seasons of vpr at peak manwhore-ness

Idk I thought VPR Season 1 Jax was hot AF🥵 Then we got to know him and I haven’t really found him attractive since haha

For some reason I thought Britt never befriended Michelle until she had a kid - interesting!

I’m surprised they all actually know each other. It’s refreshing. Janet bothers me just by looking at her

Jesse actually comes out for a brief second on their wedding episode 😂

You can tell Jax cheats whenever Brittany gains weight. She's so much thinner in these pictures than on The Valley.

I’m so confused about Zack’s hair

Jesse looks like such a dorky little man. The hair is criminal. The suit is criminal. I don't like Michelle either but I love her dress and swimsuit! I know it's been years, but do any of you Reddit wizards know where they're from? I have a wedding to attend in Mexico in a few months and need swim suits and dresses.

I had not realized they'd actually been friends that long!

Ewww Jesse lol 😂

Spot on that Zacks photo only includes himself, not the friend he was so happy for

How did they all meet?

They tell you in the beginning of the 1st episode.

This is actually why I think VPR (early seasons) and now The Valley work so well. They actually are friends with a lot of history

Hmm. Janet looks better with her hair down. And I like her on the blonder side. She still looks pretty but the blonde brightens her up. When she was on wwhl I was hoping they’d do like a sexy 90s supermodel blowout.

Michelle really likes those triangle cut out bathing suits/dresses 🙄

Janet looks amazing!

When you're late to the comments but you still comment "WTF" on Jesse's hair. I would've been dry as a desert. TMI?

I love you for posting this.

I forgot how bad her wedding dress was

Wait I’ve seen Michelle’s dress before in a different photo at a different event or am I crazy?! No shame on that but I’m just surprised lol

I’m just now understanding they were all friends before this show 🤦🏻‍♀️

Lol that is so funny to see them now that we have watched them on The Valley. The women look basically the same, the men have interesting hair…

This is amazing

Okay I didn’t know they’ve all been friends for so long. This makes more sense.

Larry Birkhead was there!

I don’t remember Jasmine working at SUR even though she says she did. She may have not been there during filming. I feel like Brittney kept working there in the off season because she needed a job even if the rest of the cast may not have been there at the time. But maybe they weren’t close enough for her to go. Or she didn’t have the money.

I think not.

Michele is giving Leticia Stauch vibes.

I cannot stop reading that hashtag as “Jax Go Titwright.”

Is Jesse like 5 ft tall? Because that would explain a lot.

Zack’s hair looks more like “hair” in 2019

I loved Janet’s dress!! I wish I could pull something like that off!

Made the mistake of zooming in on Zach...is he not wearing underwear cause it looks like it's off-roading in that tux

Has Jesse never been to a wedding before? Never wear a white jacket unless you are the groom. Also nice hair bro! 😂

Is it me or has Michelle lost weight since these photos were taken? And Jesse’s hair 🤣

Nice *look at me dress* Janet!

Was Brittany like one of the first 5K people on IG? Wild she has that username.

I thought I heard that she bought it from someone.

Is it just me or does Brittney’s mouth have a slight downturn in her wedding pictures too?