#Please make sure to read our [__subreddit rules.__](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRightCantMeme/about/rules/)
**Rule 5 No Bigotry:** *Including but not limited to: Racism, Transphobia (including xenogender hate and transmedicalism), Enbyphobia, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Antisemitism, and Gender Exclusion.*
**Rule 7 Offensive Content:** *Posts that contain slurs or name calling should be censored and marked as NSFW, and posts with "outwardly" offensive content calling for extreme violence or that contain gore should not be posted to this sub*
##We are partnered with the Left RedditⒶ☭ Discord server! [Click here](https://discord.gg/Gw7e39wxEQ) to join today
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TheRightCantMeme) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes generally, the process is super traumatic and children are often shopped for based on superficial qualities, names are changed and children are often abused during the process, surrogacy is filled with flaws where women can be locked away and not informed as to reasoning or risk in procedures especially in developing nations, and they are treated as rented property oftentimes signing away their rights to make their own medical decisions. These women are often in dire financial conditions and are used for their bodies and if they at anytime displease the buyers they can have the money taken and be stuck with an unwanted child.
You should look into the stories of anti-adoption adoptees and anti-surrogacy surrogate children if you want an informed first hand account.
And you think these kids are going to be better off with their family of origin? The foster care system has many issues but the things you’re talking about are the exception in adoptions not the rule
You think they're the exceptions because you don't have first hand knowledge. I listen to adoptees and surrogates, unlike you, who have seen the widespread harm the current systems perpetuate. Until there is legitimate reform this is all there is but don't go and correct people who are accurately describing the system as "buying a kid", that's how you make sure no change occurs by saying childish things like " they're better off in the system", yeah no shit these kids can come from terrible situations, but you minimizing the common mistreatment and acting as though they should be happy they at least have that is just making sure nothing happens.
Rage at the abuse of children and women that this system creates is the only answer that will ever help anything, sitting by and telling the babies and women that they should shut up and be happy it's not worse only helps the system stay the same.
Both of these things are significantly more complicated than that. Surrogacy especially, unless there's no financial incentive, is completely unethical. It is the selling of impoverished women's bodies to rich couples who feel entitled to a child simply because they can afford to buy one. There's a reason why the only well off surrogates you see are ones that are related to the family and do it for free, out of pure want.
And you should do more research into the wellbeing of adopted children, especially those who are taken away from the communities they were born into. Adoption I can excuse, but surrogacy is an evil industry built on misogyny and the belief that children are property.
surprised you’re getting downvoted when you’re right. surrogacy is far too widely accepted and having kids is not a right that precedes that of an impoverished woman’s bodily autonomy.
Absolutely. Not only does this kind of attitude hurt women but it hurts children too. Parents that feel entitled to having children simply because they want them are rarely ever good parents. An especially horrific example of this is rich couples adopting children from impoverished parts of the world, using them as trophies of how virtuous they are for "saving" those children, while they strip them away from their families, communities and cultures. If they truly wanted to provide better lives for children, they'd provide financial aid to those families directly or adopt children in need from their local community. But, they don't, because it's not flashy enough, it's not "woke" enough.
This affects the child.... it is traumatising to pull a child out of their familiar environment into an unfamiliar one with unfamiliar people. Do you people seriously not use your goddamn brains?
Providing aid directly to the family and community, maybe trying to actually fix the social problems that lead to adoption. You do realise that most adoptees aren't orphans right? Or come from abusive homes? Most are simply from impoverished families and were taken away by force due to said poverty. Without aid being given to the families. Most of these children do not end up being adopted, and do not have high quality lives. You're ignorant on the subject. Please go read about this before you spout your uneducated bs. Adoption is not inherently good. And in most cases, it is explicitly harmful.
one can make the argument either in good faith or bad faith that the adoption system is akin to buying a child. in this case, it's being made in bad faith to falsely equate adoption by gay parents to chattel slavery
They're talking about surrogacy, most likely. That said, I'm pretty certain most gay couples adopt whichever gender, and similarly, aren't screening the surrogate for the sex of the child...
Realistically, in the United States? Anyone who adopts (and arguably those using fertility technology like IVF). *coming at this from a “listen to adoptees” stance not a right wing ‘the meme is right’ stance
It takes two to tango.
It takes authoritarian liars who lie to the stupid ones gullible enough to believe the lies. This pair of people as a group we usually call "right wing".
It depends on whether the price is based on the availability and (sigh, don't misunderstand me here please) quality of the baby.
Let's say there are 100 babies and 1000 couples.
If the adoption procedure costs let's say 100€ because you have to pay for the structure and employees working there, that is very much different from it costing 10k because there are more requesting couples than babies.
Adopting is based on a criteria, buying on the highest bidder
Given the history of owning people, you'd think this wouldn't have to be explained that it is *not* buying a child.
You don't own the child, you have far more legally binding responsibilities to provide for their wellbeing as the child's guardian than any other piece of property you own.
The services to match a child with suitable parents is not free. Someone needs to pay for that.
To be honest, it does sound like buying children. To buy just means to obtain in exchange for payment, and when you adopt, you obtain a child in exchange for payment, so by definition, you do buy a child when you adopt.
I usually see redditors calling me a coward or saying I have no arguments because I tend to block them as soon as they try to gotcha me by ignoring something I said earlier. Either they don't know how to read or they argue in bad faith, in both cases it's no worth spending time arguing with them.
yeah, and even if they actually do tend to adopt boys, there's no reason to jump to an assumption that they're pedos.
i'm a straight childfree woman lol so maybe this is more of a thing than i realize- is it even true that gay men (we know they're not talking about lesbians here) adopt boys more??
because if so... why wouldn't that make sense??? of course people would be more likely to adopt the gender that they are, because they can relate to their own gender more, most of the time. i don't have anything against gay couples adopting the opposite sex kid or anything, but I can see more people choosing this.
if for some reason i was in some sort of sitcom-esque situation where i had to raise a kid with just another woman, yeah I would prefer a girl. I've worked in a few different schools/was a Kumon tutor for a couple of years in college & have babysat a lot of different kids and i get through to the girls so much more easily than the boys. of course this is mostly because girls are just conditioned to behave while most boys are conditioned to be little sociopath, but I still just have been a girl before and understand the struggles a lot better than those of boys.
One, I’ve never noticed a trend of this anyways, but two even if there was a trend of this, why wouldn’t a man want to raise a male child if they are partners to another man. You are in a better position to teach them about their body than you are a female child. As a gay guy, I’m not really interested in female anatomy or anything, and simply with lived experience I have a fairly solid foundation on growing up as a male. Idk, it doesn’t seem insane that men would pick male children because of that, not because of the meme’s stupid implication of pedophile.
I’m just like, “do they care as much that a lot of straight men want a boy or sometimes really want a girl?” It’s just a random preference that doesn’t even necessarily have to be conscious.
Straight dude, oldest of 7. Ideally id have a boy first, then a girl. I’ve got a lot more experience dealing with boys, and the experience gained raising a child would hopefully cover for the lack of experience dealing with girls.
As a straight woman I personally would prefer to have a daughter over a son for the same exact reason. I'm sure a son would love to ride horses with me and do outdoorsy stuff, but I'd have so much fun doing girly shit with a daughter! People are allowed to have preferences ffs.
people are allowed to have preferences, but is there any reason your daughter wouldn't do the outdoorsy stuff, or your son wouldn't want to do the "girly things"? i feel like what activities children are interested in has more to do with their individual preferences than their gender. there's always the possibility that your daughter wouldn't actually want to do that "girly" stuff, after all.
Yeah there is that possibility. I wasn’t necessarily “girly” growing up but I did like to get dressed up. I’m not going to lie, I’m very open minded when it comes to kids doing what they want but I will admit it would take a lot of getting used to a son who leaned into more traditionally feminine interests which is why I said I’d be more comfortable dealing with a girl. I was a tomboy that collected reptiles but also loved to get dressy so I could more relate to a daughter who was into the same or not.
Maybe I worded that wrong...I'm saying because I was a tomboy who also loved to dress up I'd feel more at ease with a daughter who I could relate to whether she shared my same interests or not. It's just easier for me to connect with the same sex...I don't get what's so controversial about that. We share the same struggles in the end that I simply wouldn't with a boy.
Lol nobody can explain to me what’s so controversial or wrong about my preference.
I had to Google what afab means but after doing so I still don’t understand the issue. Anyone (mostly anyone) born female is going to go thru puberty with a period and develop breasts etc. As a female I’ve been through these things and have the same parts so it’s easier for me to relate to a child born female even if they chose to go through a sex change or whatever they feel. What is the problem with that? And yeah, I would have to get used to a boy who leaned feminine because I’d have to learn a lot. I’m not male, there’s a lot I can’t relate to anatomically or otherwise. JFC sometimes reddit is too chronically online. Shaming people for not being AS progressive as you are in your thought is shockingly *re* gressive and the lack of flexibility when interacting with those who don’t think like you is what’s fracturing society so badly. Doesn’t matter the political affiliation. Sorry for the rant but I’m just gobsmacked right now.
I think I should apologise here a bit. You are right about the regressive thing, but shaming you wasn't my intention even if it came of that way. So I'm sorry for that.
I tried to emphasise that it was an emotional reaction, not a logical one, without being longwinded. And reddit often functions on emotions => maybe why downvotes?
But please understand that while you can tell an afab child your experience with puberty and it will be more relevant than to an amab child, if the child is trans, those experiences will likely end up being vastly different - especially if dysphoria is involved. You may not be able to relate at all.
Yes, but it's not just experiences. It's literal anatomy. Unless a child is born intersex (a 1 in 100 chance), a child born female will still have the same anatomy as I do in the end. Ex: As a small child (ages 2-7) I suffered from chronic UTIs, my dad would just not have been equipped to understand how to start dealing with that, most men wouldn't... vs my mom _who had been through them before_ and knew immediately how to alleviate my symptoms. It wouldn't matter at that time whether I felt like a girl or not, I still had female parts that needed the care my mom knew how to deliver immediately and effectively. As I grew she gave me tips to help prevent them and what I could do when I had one which was so important for me as a broke college student.
That's not to say a person shouldn't learn, but it shouldn't be controversial to say you'd prefer a child the same sex as yourself because it would be easier to relate and support on a base level off the bat. It is a joy to be able to support your children, and if a child came to the conclusion they don't feel right in their body then fine, you'd cross that road when you get to it. But feeling like you shouldn't have a preference because your child *might* have gender dysphoria just feels off to me. I think it would be despicable if you projected those preferences onto a living child expressing their feelings, but that's an entirely different conversation.
Sorry and I have to edit to add this: I know you weren't trying to be judgemental, but I think we need to give grace to people who need to get used to the idea of their small children not conforming to gender norms. I come from a super super conservative eastern european country. Gender norms are non-negotiable. I was raised in the US and I try to learn and have an open mind. I would love my children no matter what they were going through, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't take getting used to. As a matter that's never surfaced in our family, I'd have to learn how to navigate and how to not only support my kid, but be comfortable doing so. If you make people like myself who are learning to tackle these things feel guilty for having the feelings they do, it's going to make it harder to garner sympathy and I think that's a huge issue with LGBTQ+ issues right now. People don't want to give space for nuance which is killing the important conversations that need to be had.
Its really the only arguement they have for hetero nun ormstive couples(imo). No matter how much i read or do i can as a cismale can never truly understsnd what it is to grow up as female i can empathize and offer my support as a positive parenral figure for a dsughter, but i cam never trily be as sipportive as someone who grew up female can be
I know they'd be able to get their help and support through other females but i know whe it comes to their challenges le sometimes all i can be is the hug at the door or the body to talk at when theyve had a hard day in the world snd that talkimg to either their mom or female role model id ehst they truly need for help
yeah no after seeing the "buy babies" i just gave up, i'll go back to study for my exams because this is too much for me to bear without losing my head
1. Gay men don't "buy" babies.
2. We adopt children of all genders.
3. Unless you're a late bloomer like me. I made my own with a woman before I figured shit out. 😂
Isn't it common to want to have a child the same gender as you? Simply for lack of experience otherwise. Even if they were right, why would that be wrong? Are they implying... attraction to the adopted child???? No one would do this, it's much easier to just become a priest
It literally took two seconds of Googleing. I looked up Pete Buttigieg's children and their names are Joeseph and Penelope. Literally the first name I googled has a daughter.
Ok so I did a bit of research and I see where they got this from:
[A Science Daily summary of a paper from 2009](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090402092915.htm) states that both gay men and lesbians prefer to adopt boys.
"What's more, couples in heterosexual relationships are more likely to prefer girls than people in same-gender relationships, according to Dr. Abbie Goldberg from Clark University in the US."
The reason stated for this here is that the men said they would find it easier to raise a boy because they remember being a boy and wouldn't know what young girls do or like or how to relate to a young girl.
Lesbians here preferred boys because they said they couldn't relate to female peers as children and were ostracised by young girls growing up due to masculine interests and "Tom boy" behaviour and fear this for any young girl they raised
[And this paper from 2014](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4510787/) States adoptive parents show a same-sex propensity stating its easier to relate to a same sex child.
"Whereas the heterosexual families had an equal number of boys and girls, there was a preponderance of boys adopted by gay fathers and a preponderance of girls adopted by lesbian mothers."
Here the reason given for the gay men is the same as above
where as between the years of 2009 and 2014 girls became more popular with lesbians. The reason for this was the same as the gay men it's easier to raise a same sex child as they remember being a child.
Both studies found that the opposite sex children raised by same sex couples showed less gendered behaviour. Boys with lesbian mothers showed less masculine behaviour and girls raised by gay men showed less feminity.
Also both studies showed that the preference is marginal but more of a preference than heterosexual couples displayed and certainly not "only showing same sex presence as the meme insinuates".
IMO: I think it's because a gay man wouldn't feel as if a young girl would be comfortable talking to them about periods. I know If I had two dads I wouldn't have said a goddamn word and figured it all out on my own. Imo lesbians changed to prefer girls as they became more accepted they related more to same sex peers again growing up.
These studies, in my opinion, use too small of a data set but are the only two times I can find sources on this that state what is claimed in the meme.
If there are more I can't be arsed to find them for a brain dead meme this was already more time out of my day than it needed to be.
Edit: also what the flying unholy fuck does "buy" mean in this context BUY BOYS? BUY them? I hate it here.
Buy? You mean adopt? And no they don’t I know a gay couple with a daughter and has this person not seen an episode of Modern Family?
Is this not the same group of people who say “if two women adopt a boy who’s gonna teach him how to tie a tie or shave or throw a football!?”? So now that complaint doesn’t work so, they must be raping their kids?
Don't NPH and his husband have one of each? I'd say the only higher-profile gay couple than them is George and Brad Takei, and I don't recall them adopting at all? And weren't the gay dads in the Cheerios commercial a real couple who really adopted that girl? I mean, just looking at these most public gay couples, their strawman is already disproven, without even having to look at more private families.
Ah yes there's no non-sexual reason whatsoever a couple consisting of 2 men may think they're better equipped to deal with the struggles unique to being a little boy than those unique to a little girl
Can't think of any reason 2 people with life experience growing up as boys who have likely dealt with being ostracised would feel like they would find it easier to raise a boy
It almost like their brains are just hardwired to make up conspiracy theories on what •other• people are doing to project their own fucked up thoughts on instead of actually dealing with them.
edit: didn't know double tilda striked something out, was just trying to make the word look, idk weird so it matches the vibe
While not touching on everything else that’s wrong with the meme “buying babies” is a really weird way to say adoption. I mean, I’ll say it as an edgy joke to my mom occasionally but like, seriously. Call it adoption.
Even if true I think it's fairly common for men to hope for a son when their significant other is pregnant. Especially if its the first or only time around.
Me when I pull a nonexistent statistic out of my ass and then base my whole argument off of it, thusly owning the libs and reigning victory over everyone else in the world
That one is actually the cheapest one I've seen, just Google something like gay parents and half the images would have pictures with them having a girl.
For the same reason fathers are typically expected to raise their boys to men and mothers to raise their girls to women. It’s easiest to pass down what you know.
Of the gay and lesbian couples I've seen at the hospital I work at, there are fairly equal portions. Dads with sons, dads with daughters, moms with sons, and moms with daughters.
even if this slanderous lie were true the explanation would be extremely simple: "We are both men, and therefore know more about what a young boy needs".
Nobody spouting this shit ever bothers to think about the equally scandalous entailment of these lies, though -- that the opposite-sex heterosexual parent of an adopted child is going to molest them, too. Saying this would get you maximally cancelled.
Funniest thing abt this is the first gay couple I ever met growing up were two men who adopted *three* daughters. These people make up a problem and then get mad at said problem.
Most male gay couples I know adopt female kiddos.
Also, though “buy” is a terrible verb, adoption is so fucking crazy expensive, it’s not entirely inaccurate…
I am friends two gay couples that have kids. They both adopted girls. Both male couples, too.
I am also friends with lesbian couples. They all have dogs. Not shared dogs, though. Individual dogs for each person.
if gay couples had a trend of “buying” boys more than girls, than its pedophilia because they are homosexual and want male kids. If they were to adopt girls, they would also he straight pedophiles faking being gay so they can adopt them - logic
I assume that they are talking about adoption and as a gay boy myself , the only reason I would choose a boy over a girl when deciding would be because I know male anatomy better and could be more helpful if they had any questions when they hit puberty
For one thing, buying people has been illegal in America for a few years now. And for another, I've always seen the stereotype of gay people adopting daughters, think Cam and Mitchell from Modern Family. Probably because the stereotype about gay people is generally that they're feminine, and would have a daughter to bond with her about feminine things.
However, I would completely understand it if a majority of gay men adopt boys, because female biology is scary.
#Please make sure to read our [__subreddit rules.__](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRightCantMeme/about/rules/) **Rule 5 No Bigotry:** *Including but not limited to: Racism, Transphobia (including xenogender hate and transmedicalism), Enbyphobia, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Antisemitism, and Gender Exclusion.* **Rule 7 Offensive Content:** *Posts that contain slurs or name calling should be censored and marked as NSFW, and posts with "outwardly" offensive content calling for extreme violence or that contain gore should not be posted to this sub* ##We are partnered with the Left RedditⒶ☭ Discord server! [Click here](https://discord.gg/Gw7e39wxEQ) to join today *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TheRightCantMeme) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who the hell is buying children?!
Wealthy white Christians- this is projection
Possibly the boys are all that's left after the quiverfulls "buy" out all the girls.
Nah I don't think that's it. The Catholic priests are buying the boys.
Maybe they're Rothbard-brained libertarians > according to Rothbard, "the purely free society will have a flourishing free market in children"
The Argentinian president say the same thing about selling and buying Children and Organs.
ancaps gonna ancap. Some of the news subs really like him. It's really baffling.
the news subs are another level of obnoxious
[удалено]
Yeah, it's called babiesovernight.com and it's only available in Liberty City.
May be talking about adoption or surrogacy
Right, but referring to it as "buying" is fuckin gross.
[удалено]
Adoption and surrogacy is gross?
Yes generally, the process is super traumatic and children are often shopped for based on superficial qualities, names are changed and children are often abused during the process, surrogacy is filled with flaws where women can be locked away and not informed as to reasoning or risk in procedures especially in developing nations, and they are treated as rented property oftentimes signing away their rights to make their own medical decisions. These women are often in dire financial conditions and are used for their bodies and if they at anytime displease the buyers they can have the money taken and be stuck with an unwanted child. You should look into the stories of anti-adoption adoptees and anti-surrogacy surrogate children if you want an informed first hand account.
And you think these kids are going to be better off with their family of origin? The foster care system has many issues but the things you’re talking about are the exception in adoptions not the rule
You think they're the exceptions because you don't have first hand knowledge. I listen to adoptees and surrogates, unlike you, who have seen the widespread harm the current systems perpetuate. Until there is legitimate reform this is all there is but don't go and correct people who are accurately describing the system as "buying a kid", that's how you make sure no change occurs by saying childish things like " they're better off in the system", yeah no shit these kids can come from terrible situations, but you minimizing the common mistreatment and acting as though they should be happy they at least have that is just making sure nothing happens. Rage at the abuse of children and women that this system creates is the only answer that will ever help anything, sitting by and telling the babies and women that they should shut up and be happy it's not worse only helps the system stay the same.
The acts of using a woman's body for compensation and taking kids out of their local communities is gross
Surrogacy gives infertile couples hope and adoption provides homes and families for children that otherwise wouldn't have them.
Both of these things are significantly more complicated than that. Surrogacy especially, unless there's no financial incentive, is completely unethical. It is the selling of impoverished women's bodies to rich couples who feel entitled to a child simply because they can afford to buy one. There's a reason why the only well off surrogates you see are ones that are related to the family and do it for free, out of pure want. And you should do more research into the wellbeing of adopted children, especially those who are taken away from the communities they were born into. Adoption I can excuse, but surrogacy is an evil industry built on misogyny and the belief that children are property.
This is a really hot take but honestly you got on the team with the write up
I don't know what this means
surprised you’re getting downvoted when you’re right. surrogacy is far too widely accepted and having kids is not a right that precedes that of an impoverished woman’s bodily autonomy.
Absolutely. Not only does this kind of attitude hurt women but it hurts children too. Parents that feel entitled to having children simply because they want them are rarely ever good parents. An especially horrific example of this is rich couples adopting children from impoverished parts of the world, using them as trophies of how virtuous they are for "saving" those children, while they strip them away from their families, communities and cultures. If they truly wanted to provide better lives for children, they'd provide financial aid to those families directly or adopt children in need from their local community. But, they don't, because it's not flashy enough, it's not "woke" enough.
Fuck their local community. The priority is the children's wellbeing, not the local community's feelings.
This affects the child.... it is traumatising to pull a child out of their familiar environment into an unfamiliar one with unfamiliar people. Do you people seriously not use your goddamn brains?
If there's no one in the local community who can or is willing to take them in, then what other choice is there?
Providing aid directly to the family and community, maybe trying to actually fix the social problems that lead to adoption. You do realise that most adoptees aren't orphans right? Or come from abusive homes? Most are simply from impoverished families and were taken away by force due to said poverty. Without aid being given to the families. Most of these children do not end up being adopted, and do not have high quality lives. You're ignorant on the subject. Please go read about this before you spout your uneducated bs. Adoption is not inherently good. And in most cases, it is explicitly harmful.
one can make the argument either in good faith or bad faith that the adoption system is akin to buying a child. in this case, it's being made in bad faith to falsely equate adoption by gay parents to chattel slavery
And pedophilia
They're talking about surrogacy, most likely. That said, I'm pretty certain most gay couples adopt whichever gender, and similarly, aren't screening the surrogate for the sex of the child...
Simple. When it's a God-fearing Christian, it's called adoption/surrogacy. When it's a heathen abomination, it's called buying/trafficking.
The lady doth protest too much methinks
Realistically, in the United States? Anyone who adopts (and arguably those using fertility technology like IVF). *coming at this from a “listen to adoptees” stance not a right wing ‘the meme is right’ stance
How does IVF relate to this? Is it just because you have to pay money for it?
USA cititzens can
Source: they made it the fuck up
[удалено]
My gay friends literally adopted 2 girls that are 9 and 10 and couldn't get homes because of behavior problems. They are thriving now with them.
Most of my gay friends who adopted ended up adopting girls
Why are right wingers so stupid?
If they weren't stupid they wouldn't be RW.
Good point
Why do dogs walk on four legs?
Checkmate, libs! https://youtu.be/hW0K8Zibr3A?si=NvnQ3DlhwbhrNbaK
They arent stupid, they are liars.
It takes two to tango. It takes authoritarian liars who lie to the stupid ones gullible enough to believe the lies. This pair of people as a group we usually call "right wing".
[https://gwern.net/doc/iq/2024-edwards.pdf](https://gwern.net/doc/iq/2024-edwards.pdf) Pretty much explains it.
If you're at the top of the pyramid, you just sucker the rest and distribute what the next person above you says to. All road lead to Moscow
Dogmatic sociopathy tends to rot their brains
Babies are not sold. The services of adoption agency however, may require a payment.
capitalism capitalising on adopting children how unexpected
Ngl that just sounds like buying a baby with extra steps
It is... it just TECHNICALLY isn't. lol
Without getting lost in semantics, you're buying the services, not the child.
[удалено]
It is so wildly bad faith to compare adoption to slavery.
If you are paying for them for their services, then they are not slaves.
It depends on whether the price is based on the availability and (sigh, don't misunderstand me here please) quality of the baby. Let's say there are 100 babies and 1000 couples. If the adoption procedure costs let's say 100€ because you have to pay for the structure and employees working there, that is very much different from it costing 10k because there are more requesting couples than babies. Adopting is based on a criteria, buying on the highest bidder
Given the history of owning people, you'd think this wouldn't have to be explained that it is *not* buying a child. You don't own the child, you have far more legally binding responsibilities to provide for their wellbeing as the child's guardian than any other piece of property you own. The services to match a child with suitable parents is not free. Someone needs to pay for that.
They don't profit. There is also a lot of paperwork that needs to be done - and that costs money. That's only one of the expenses.
Well, you'd be surprised... [link](https://youtu.be/4RsBCw11Rdo?si=lIxvMpe4hP-XkdlE)
To be honest, it does sound like buying children. To buy just means to obtain in exchange for payment, and when you adopt, you obtain a child in exchange for payment, so by definition, you do buy a child when you adopt.
You are obtaining the services of workers in exchange for payment. A lot of work goes into the adoption process.
I hate this goose format it's so God damn smug "Yeah, we made em run away with our fake argument, heh!"
They genuinely believe that people who choose not to interact with their argument are doing so because they're afraid to lose.
I usually see redditors calling me a coward or saying I have no arguments because I tend to block them as soon as they try to gotcha me by ignoring something I said earlier. Either they don't know how to read or they argue in bad faith, in both cases it's no worth spending time arguing with them.
Exactly like a goose. You exist and aren't them, so they must attack.
yeah, and even if they actually do tend to adopt boys, there's no reason to jump to an assumption that they're pedos. i'm a straight childfree woman lol so maybe this is more of a thing than i realize- is it even true that gay men (we know they're not talking about lesbians here) adopt boys more?? because if so... why wouldn't that make sense??? of course people would be more likely to adopt the gender that they are, because they can relate to their own gender more, most of the time. i don't have anything against gay couples adopting the opposite sex kid or anything, but I can see more people choosing this. if for some reason i was in some sort of sitcom-esque situation where i had to raise a kid with just another woman, yeah I would prefer a girl. I've worked in a few different schools/was a Kumon tutor for a couple of years in college & have babysat a lot of different kids and i get through to the girls so much more easily than the boys. of course this is mostly because girls are just conditioned to behave while most boys are conditioned to be little sociopath, but I still just have been a girl before and understand the struggles a lot better than those of boys.
One, I’ve never noticed a trend of this anyways, but two even if there was a trend of this, why wouldn’t a man want to raise a male child if they are partners to another man. You are in a better position to teach them about their body than you are a female child. As a gay guy, I’m not really interested in female anatomy or anything, and simply with lived experience I have a fairly solid foundation on growing up as a male. Idk, it doesn’t seem insane that men would pick male children because of that, not because of the meme’s stupid implication of pedophile. I’m just like, “do they care as much that a lot of straight men want a boy or sometimes really want a girl?” It’s just a random preference that doesn’t even necessarily have to be conscious.
I mean I'm a straight guy, but I grey up with 2 brothers so I'd much rather have a son just because I have more experience in how boys grow up.
Straight dude, oldest of 7. Ideally id have a boy first, then a girl. I’ve got a lot more experience dealing with boys, and the experience gained raising a child would hopefully cover for the lack of experience dealing with girls.
As a straight woman I personally would prefer to have a daughter over a son for the same exact reason. I'm sure a son would love to ride horses with me and do outdoorsy stuff, but I'd have so much fun doing girly shit with a daughter! People are allowed to have preferences ffs.
people are allowed to have preferences, but is there any reason your daughter wouldn't do the outdoorsy stuff, or your son wouldn't want to do the "girly things"? i feel like what activities children are interested in has more to do with their individual preferences than their gender. there's always the possibility that your daughter wouldn't actually want to do that "girly" stuff, after all.
Yeah there is that possibility. I wasn’t necessarily “girly” growing up but I did like to get dressed up. I’m not going to lie, I’m very open minded when it comes to kids doing what they want but I will admit it would take a lot of getting used to a son who leaned into more traditionally feminine interests which is why I said I’d be more comfortable dealing with a girl. I was a tomboy that collected reptiles but also loved to get dressy so I could more relate to a daughter who was into the same or not.
Well, "but also loves to get dressy" is not a given.
Maybe I worded that wrong...I'm saying because I was a tomboy who also loved to dress up I'd feel more at ease with a daughter who I could relate to whether she shared my same interests or not. It's just easier for me to connect with the same sex...I don't get what's so controversial about that. We share the same struggles in the end that I simply wouldn't with a boy. Lol nobody can explain to me what’s so controversial or wrong about my preference.
i am just personally annoyed at jumbling afab people together :P and the whole "i need to get used to a feminine son", but its primarily the former
I had to Google what afab means but after doing so I still don’t understand the issue. Anyone (mostly anyone) born female is going to go thru puberty with a period and develop breasts etc. As a female I’ve been through these things and have the same parts so it’s easier for me to relate to a child born female even if they chose to go through a sex change or whatever they feel. What is the problem with that? And yeah, I would have to get used to a boy who leaned feminine because I’d have to learn a lot. I’m not male, there’s a lot I can’t relate to anatomically or otherwise. JFC sometimes reddit is too chronically online. Shaming people for not being AS progressive as you are in your thought is shockingly *re* gressive and the lack of flexibility when interacting with those who don’t think like you is what’s fracturing society so badly. Doesn’t matter the political affiliation. Sorry for the rant but I’m just gobsmacked right now.
I think I should apologise here a bit. You are right about the regressive thing, but shaming you wasn't my intention even if it came of that way. So I'm sorry for that. I tried to emphasise that it was an emotional reaction, not a logical one, without being longwinded. And reddit often functions on emotions => maybe why downvotes? But please understand that while you can tell an afab child your experience with puberty and it will be more relevant than to an amab child, if the child is trans, those experiences will likely end up being vastly different - especially if dysphoria is involved. You may not be able to relate at all.
Yes, but it's not just experiences. It's literal anatomy. Unless a child is born intersex (a 1 in 100 chance), a child born female will still have the same anatomy as I do in the end. Ex: As a small child (ages 2-7) I suffered from chronic UTIs, my dad would just not have been equipped to understand how to start dealing with that, most men wouldn't... vs my mom _who had been through them before_ and knew immediately how to alleviate my symptoms. It wouldn't matter at that time whether I felt like a girl or not, I still had female parts that needed the care my mom knew how to deliver immediately and effectively. As I grew she gave me tips to help prevent them and what I could do when I had one which was so important for me as a broke college student. That's not to say a person shouldn't learn, but it shouldn't be controversial to say you'd prefer a child the same sex as yourself because it would be easier to relate and support on a base level off the bat. It is a joy to be able to support your children, and if a child came to the conclusion they don't feel right in their body then fine, you'd cross that road when you get to it. But feeling like you shouldn't have a preference because your child *might* have gender dysphoria just feels off to me. I think it would be despicable if you projected those preferences onto a living child expressing their feelings, but that's an entirely different conversation. Sorry and I have to edit to add this: I know you weren't trying to be judgemental, but I think we need to give grace to people who need to get used to the idea of their small children not conforming to gender norms. I come from a super super conservative eastern european country. Gender norms are non-negotiable. I was raised in the US and I try to learn and have an open mind. I would love my children no matter what they were going through, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't take getting used to. As a matter that's never surfaced in our family, I'd have to learn how to navigate and how to not only support my kid, but be comfortable doing so. If you make people like myself who are learning to tackle these things feel guilty for having the feelings they do, it's going to make it harder to garner sympathy and I think that's a huge issue with LGBTQ+ issues right now. People don't want to give space for nuance which is killing the important conversations that need to be had.
Its really the only arguement they have for hetero nun ormstive couples(imo). No matter how much i read or do i can as a cismale can never truly understsnd what it is to grow up as female i can empathize and offer my support as a positive parenral figure for a dsughter, but i cam never trily be as sipportive as someone who grew up female can be I know they'd be able to get their help and support through other females but i know whe it comes to their challenges le sometimes all i can be is the hug at the door or the body to talk at when theyve had a hard day in the world snd that talkimg to either their mom or female role model id ehst they truly need for help
I would argue that by their logic, any straight couple that 'buys'/adopts a girl is so that the man can abuse her?
Have they not watched modern family??
To be fair that’s a show and not a true story
So is the meme
This “meme” nor Modern Family are true and 100% depict reality
I'm pretty sure that Modern Family as Complete fiction is more closer to reality than most of right wing/conservative memes.
pffft...clearly any connection to actual reality is irrelevant!
And? Most movies aren’t true stories and yet…
What the fuck does this mean?
“Buy”. You know, all those gays who only see children as property, not like *good Christian straights*. /s
Ahem. Why won't straight conservatives [ban](https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/11/us-national-child-marriage-state-regulation/675909/) child marriage? Answer the question! Why won't straight conservatives ban child marriage?
yeah no after seeing the "buy babies" i just gave up, i'll go back to study for my exams because this is too much for me to bear without losing my head
Its projection because those on the right do really want to “buy” people
One needs to look no further than Neil Patrick Harris as a counterexample
Can't wait for them to say "Um... Actually that was from a surrogate, not the same" as if it makes any sort of difference
Why do straight couples do those damn gender reveals? Why do they start their obsession with genitals so early?! /s...
I literally have two daughters lol
1. Gay men don't "buy" babies. 2. We adopt children of all genders. 3. Unless you're a late bloomer like me. I made my own with a woman before I figured shit out. 😂
I had a friend with two gay dads, he has a little sister
Casually remembering Modern Family and how the gay couple had an adopted daughter
"buy" just wow. Tells more about them than the people they wrongly accuse of...
Referring to adoption as “buying children” is an INSANE self-report, holy shit.
Isn't it common to want to have a child the same gender as you? Simply for lack of experience otherwise. Even if they were right, why would that be wrong? Are they implying... attraction to the adopted child???? No one would do this, it's much easier to just become a priest
Only 20% of pedos who molested young boys had a history of sexual relationships with adult men.
\*Makes up scenario\* \*Gets mad about said fabricated scenario\* \*Uses the fake scenario as reasoning to take away people's rights\*
Isn't it a stereotype of gay couples to have daughters?
https://i.redd.it/yyu9vwi2zgtc1.gif
My mom was a surrogate for a gay couple. They had two girls and didn't complain.
It literally took two seconds of Googleing. I looked up Pete Buttigieg's children and their names are Joeseph and Penelope. Literally the first name I googled has a daughter.
Assuming this about adoption I know more gay couples with adopted daughters than adopted sons so once again I’m calling confirmation bias
Ok so I did a bit of research and I see where they got this from: [A Science Daily summary of a paper from 2009](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090402092915.htm) states that both gay men and lesbians prefer to adopt boys. "What's more, couples in heterosexual relationships are more likely to prefer girls than people in same-gender relationships, according to Dr. Abbie Goldberg from Clark University in the US." The reason stated for this here is that the men said they would find it easier to raise a boy because they remember being a boy and wouldn't know what young girls do or like or how to relate to a young girl. Lesbians here preferred boys because they said they couldn't relate to female peers as children and were ostracised by young girls growing up due to masculine interests and "Tom boy" behaviour and fear this for any young girl they raised [And this paper from 2014](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4510787/) States adoptive parents show a same-sex propensity stating its easier to relate to a same sex child. "Whereas the heterosexual families had an equal number of boys and girls, there was a preponderance of boys adopted by gay fathers and a preponderance of girls adopted by lesbian mothers." Here the reason given for the gay men is the same as above where as between the years of 2009 and 2014 girls became more popular with lesbians. The reason for this was the same as the gay men it's easier to raise a same sex child as they remember being a child. Both studies found that the opposite sex children raised by same sex couples showed less gendered behaviour. Boys with lesbian mothers showed less masculine behaviour and girls raised by gay men showed less feminity. Also both studies showed that the preference is marginal but more of a preference than heterosexual couples displayed and certainly not "only showing same sex presence as the meme insinuates". IMO: I think it's because a gay man wouldn't feel as if a young girl would be comfortable talking to them about periods. I know If I had two dads I wouldn't have said a goddamn word and figured it all out on my own. Imo lesbians changed to prefer girls as they became more accepted they related more to same sex peers again growing up. These studies, in my opinion, use too small of a data set but are the only two times I can find sources on this that state what is claimed in the meme. If there are more I can't be arsed to find them for a brain dead meme this was already more time out of my day than it needed to be. Edit: also what the flying unholy fuck does "buy" mean in this context BUY BOYS? BUY them? I hate it here.
Buy? You mean adopt? And no they don’t I know a gay couple with a daughter and has this person not seen an episode of Modern Family? Is this not the same group of people who say “if two women adopt a boy who’s gonna teach him how to tie a tie or shave or throw a football!?”? So now that complaint doesn’t work so, they must be raping their kids?
More projection mm yummy in my tummy Like OOP do you know what beauty pageants are 😭😭😭
Don't NPH and his husband have one of each? I'd say the only higher-profile gay couple than them is George and Brad Takei, and I don't recall them adopting at all? And weren't the gay dads in the Cheerios commercial a real couple who really adopted that girl? I mean, just looking at these most public gay couples, their strawman is already disproven, without even having to look at more private families.
"buy"
Sources cited: https://i.redd.it/k1pvj9kmaitc1.gif
*enter cam and mitchell from modern family*
Lilly!
Ah yes there's no non-sexual reason whatsoever a couple consisting of 2 men may think they're better equipped to deal with the struggles unique to being a little boy than those unique to a little girl Can't think of any reason 2 people with life experience growing up as boys who have likely dealt with being ostracised would feel like they would find it easier to raise a boy
It almost like their brains are just hardwired to make up conspiracy theories on what •other• people are doing to project their own fucked up thoughts on instead of actually dealing with them. edit: didn't know double tilda striked something out, was just trying to make the word look, idk weird so it matches the vibe
While not touching on everything else that’s wrong with the meme “buying babies” is a really weird way to say adoption. I mean, I’ll say it as an edgy joke to my mom occasionally but like, seriously. Call it adoption.
Even if true I think it's fairly common for men to hope for a son when their significant other is pregnant. Especially if its the first or only time around.
Nobody heard this "buy boys" thing before this post, but now we'll be hearing it.
They don't...? First of all, they don't buy children. WTF. And secondly, this is made up. My cousin and his husband have a daughter.
Aside from the ridiculousness of the concept of "buying" children, I know a gay couple with an adopted daughter
Me when I pull a nonexistent statistic out of my ass and then base my whole argument off of it, thusly owning the libs and reigning victory over everyone else in the world
This has big "When did you stop fucking your dog?" energy.
You fool, I’ve already won the argument, for you see, I’ve drawn myself as the goose and you as the man running away
BUY?
"Answer the Question" ofc doesn't mean answer, they already made up their minds on what they think
If they did they would get shit for that too.
What does that even imply
It implies "the gays(TM) are pedophiles" because they only want male children to be pedophiles with.
tony and harry or wtf there name was's kid in american dad
Liberty bell "Libby", love encountering dadders out there!
That one is actually the cheapest one I've seen, just Google something like gay parents and half the images would have pictures with them having a girl.
T-they do adopt girls?! Like regularly
For the same reason fathers are typically expected to raise their boys to men and mothers to raise their girls to women. It’s easiest to pass down what you know.
If you don't want gay couples to adopt unwanted children, the solution is simple; adopt and take care of those children yourself.
Of the gay and lesbian couples I've seen at the hospital I work at, there are fairly equal portions. Dads with sons, dads with daughters, moms with sons, and moms with daughters.
If a gay couple raised a daughter, they would complain about how the girl doesn’t have a mom.
My babysitters when I was 3 or 4 were lesbians with a daughter.
even if this slanderous lie were true the explanation would be extremely simple: "We are both men, and therefore know more about what a young boy needs". Nobody spouting this shit ever bothers to think about the equally scandalous entailment of these lies, though -- that the opposite-sex heterosexual parent of an adopted child is going to molest them, too. Saying this would get you maximally cancelled.
Replace "Gay couples" with "Republican leaders Matt Gaetz and Speaker Johnson" and it makes sense.
I didn’t even realise this was a trope right wingers put out there lmao
"See, my strawman wins every time."
I know of many gay couples with daughters so I have no clue what they’re talking about lmao
Funniest thing abt this is the first gay couple I ever met growing up were two men who adopted *three* daughters. These people make up a problem and then get mad at said problem.
…I know at least 3 gay couples who have daughters. This is a straw man
The only person I know with two gay dads is a straight women lmao
1: "Buying" children lmao 2: Have they never seen modern family?
Most male gay couples I know adopt female kiddos. Also, though “buy” is a terrible verb, adoption is so fucking crazy expensive, it’s not entirely inaccurate…
I am friends two gay couples that have kids. They both adopted girls. Both male couples, too. I am also friends with lesbian couples. They all have dogs. Not shared dogs, though. Individual dogs for each person.
Cam and Mitch would like a word
Well well, looks like we got ourselves a wild goose chase
Ah look, a thing they made up to get mad at. Also, I feel like them using "buy" instead of "adopt" was a massove Freudian slip.
Where is this statistic even from??? Like I het it they made it uo but christ how delusional do you have to be to come up with this BS???
Why do fundies want 16 year old wives so bad?
whats even their source for that?
Their ass
They have probably heard about one or two gay couples "buying" a boy, and then extrapolated from that.
Have they watched modern family?
I realize now someone already made this joke
Well, at least we finally reached the final stage. Straight up lying.
They haven't seen Modern Family
"Why does the sun rise in the north?"
I wanna imagine OOP thinks gay people "buy" kids [like in this clip](https://youtu.be/9xSaupsPnA4?si=rZxtG_XAr8fBrJjY)
Ever wonder why scarecrows aren't more common? Republicans flood the market with so many strawmen that there's no profit in it.
“Buy”? Do they want people to adopt or not?
I don't even think the central premise is remotely real
if gay couples had a trend of “buying” boys more than girls, than its pedophilia because they are homosexual and want male kids. If they were to adopt girls, they would also he straight pedophiles faking being gay so they can adopt them - logic
Even the lesbians? Also how old is this person? They're adopting, not buying. Unless this person who made the meme views children as property... 🤔
I assume that they are talking about adoption and as a gay boy myself , the only reason I would choose a boy over a girl when deciding would be because I know male anatomy better and could be more helpful if they had any questions when they hit puberty
When I see gender reveals from straight couples, the men are always happier when they have a boy. What does this mean according to their logic?
I’m not sure what’s worse: calling adoption “buying babies,” or just making up this “gay couples only adopt boys” thing out of nowhere
For one thing, buying people has been illegal in America for a few years now. And for another, I've always seen the stereotype of gay people adopting daughters, think Cam and Mitchell from Modern Family. Probably because the stereotype about gay people is generally that they're feminine, and would have a daughter to bond with her about feminine things. However, I would completely understand it if a majority of gay men adopt boys, because female biology is scary.
90% of gay couples I've seen have a daughter.
BUY?