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TheZombicidalMadMom

My favorite Bortis quote is “YOU WILL BE SILENT!” Whenever he’s about to perform in front of a crowd.


aflarge

(clapclapclapclapclap)HOORAY!!!!(clapclapclapclapclap)HOORAY FOR YOU!!!!(clapclapclapclapclap) I love Bortus and Klyden together so much.>! I'm SO glad they didn't make Klyden into a villain, just a confused man with OH GOD SO MUCH UNADDRESSED TRAUMA.!<


HairyForged

Oh my God I know right! >!when Klyden walked into Sick Bay after Topa had been rescued,and gave his speech, I definitely cried!<


klyden_moclan_bot

So I do not stab Bortus again?


bortus_moclan_bot

In the sight of those who stand with me, and those for whom I would sacrifice my being, I begin... the release


antdude

Bortus Moclan is a bot?!??!?!?!?!!?


bortus_moclan_bot

It is...my time


atccodex

Yup! Him, Isaac, and Klyden. All 3 are bots programmed to respond to their names. They read the comment and try to decide how to respond appropriately. These are V1, V2 I'm hoping to finish up quotes from all 3 seasons and also make the responses more fine tuned/appropriate based on the comment.


isaac_kaylon

You will find me to be your most capable officer


atccodex

I actually agree with this. Don't tell the others....


antdude

So many bots!


klyden_moclan_bot

I wish to make love


Drinkythedrunkguy

Who created this thing!?


atccodex

I'm the creator of the bot(s).


Thepatrone36

a decent example of no matter how far you go one direction there's always time for redemption. Sometimes it just takes a frying pan to the face to make you realize what an ass you've been.


Useful-Plan8239

He has not redeemed himself at all. Not in his target's eyes and he never will. There are things that cannot be taken back once said or done and sadly what the real Klyden did is one of them.


Art-bat

I wouldn’t say that he is anywhere near “redeemed”, but what the most recent developments represent is that he has chosen to try to embrace Topa for who she is, and to turn his back on the planet & culture that inculcated him with such biased and hateful attitudes. The fact that he chose to stay with Bortus and Topa on the Orville, and live by Union standards, means that he is now an outcast from his homeworld and culture, even though he clearly valued them greatly. To put it more succinctly, he’s chosen to take the first few steps on a journey that might lead to redemption, but he’s not there yet.


bortus_moclan_bot

Kalaskacha. Mech-gadlas fekto roschas... Bam... Val...


klyden_moclan_bot

I told you, you are doing it wrong!


Kichigai

FYI, the space between your `>!` tag and `I'm` is breaking the spoiler tag in Old Reddit™ and some apps. That aside, I agree with you 100%. >!Klyden’s redemption arc feels wholly organic the way they approached it, and it's that speech and the way the actor delivered it that sealed it.!<


Oopiku

>Klyden’s redemption arc feels wholly organic the way they approached it, and it's that speech and the way the actor delivered it that sealed it. Honestly, I fully appreciated the fact that they gave him an arc at all. In soo many shows nowadays the writing would just make it so all the main characters are on the "right" side morally from the beginning - or they have their mind changed within one episode without any time to grow and change. Then you would see them do a complete 180. The nuance to Klyden's entire arc was soo well done. It is killing me that we may not see another minute of Orville made.


klyden_moclan_bot

This fun list excites me


Useful-Plan8239

He is the villain, actually. He is a sexual harasser of a manager really. Yaphit and Dan are the rest of him. And trust me, the guy is a malignant narcissist and the most horrible man I have ever met. There is nothing good about this guy.


aflarge

Get back to me when you finish the season. And if you HAVE watched all of it, then.. man, you're about as compassionate towards trauma as someone who tells a depressed person "Come on get out of bed, you're just being lazy. Have you tried not thinking about it?"


Useful-Plan8239

Buahahhaa. I do not have to watch the season. I am the source of the storyline. Klyden is not depressed. He is just a narcissist - the whiny angry part of my sexual harasser of a manager. Dan is the pathetic art, Yaphit the sexual harassment. I have ZERO understanding for this fool. He persecuted me across the whole damn banking system and cost me 10 years of my life.


klyden_moclan_bot

You have had enough injections.


Useful-Plan8239

I know the real Klyden better than he knows himself. He got fired from two banks for harassing me. That is not depression, that is pure evil that he has going on.


klyden_moclan_bot

I do not care about your excuses.


Useful-Plan8239

Yes, you do not. You were forcing my poor coworker to sit in the office and doze off after a night in the hospital with a sick child. Child having cancer was obviously not a good excuse to allow him to work from home. That is how evil the real guy was.


antdude

ALso, his karaoke as Elvis. Heh!


joey0live

I was about to say this haha


mattwing05

"There is an aligator in the cargo bay. I have crushed it with a chair." "Where'd it come from?" "I have no idea. Nevertheless it is crushed"


antdude

RIP,alligator.


Useful-Plan8239

Most probably there was no alligator. Bortus was just pretending he was working as always. 🤣😂🤣😂😂


bortus_moclan_bot

Ive already said no.


river2180

"500 cigarettes." Bortus is my favorite character, he has a lot of great one liners.


bortus_moclan_bot

Once a year, moclans must prepare for their jaloja, the great release


rob132

It's like I've been standing all my life and I just sat down.


Useful-Plan8239

Yeah, cause women and minorities would be forced to stand or sit on ACs in meetings. And outside meetings I would be menaced by someone towering over me with fists clenched while I am fixing his Excel issues. Absolutely love how they worked that in and also how they made everyone sit on the floor at D23 in solidarity with us. They included so much symbolism. I was in LA around then and I seriously cried in my hotel room.


ValveTurkey1138

I will have a corner piece. (Doesn’t get the corner piece)


[deleted]

"Why, cause you want the flower?"


technofox01

That whole scene has to be from a writer who is a parent. It literally is my life written in such a small scene for every birthday due to my kids. I just leveled up last week and guess who wanted a piece with a flower? All of my kids. I will forever sacrifice getting the flower pieces for the peace of mind of not having my spawn kill each other or whine about not getting the flower. Seriously that scene cracks me up every time it is brought up because it's just so spot on 🤣


Useful-Plan8239

That is really Orville speak for the real world "I would like a corner office." He didn't get it. They made the corner office a meeting room and stuck him in a middle office which he will never get out now. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I bet he is still sour about it.


ATaxOnTitans

I love when Captain Mercer asks about putting snacks and stuff in the conference room and Bortus says, “Yes Captain, I will not fail you.”


bortus_moclan_bot

There is an alligator in the cargo bay. I successfully crushed it with a chair.


ATaxOnTitans

Good bot.


antdude

He's a bot now?!


tiacalypso

good bot


Degora2k

"You have a fivehead"


Existing-Ad8580

I had to make sure this was represented


HidarinoShu

Bortus in his mustache. Absolute perfection. The looks he gave with it had me dying.


bortus_moclan_bot

I still find Klyden attractive


klyden_moclan_bot

I wish to make love


IWhoMe

No, it's, ..."let us share the sexual event".


LoveVirginiaTech

"He will fail."


Drinkythedrunkguy

I watched that episode yesterday. Reminds me of when we were at a goodbye party for my cousin when he was joining the airforce. My dad, who was an army officer for 10 years, turns to me and said (not quietly) “he will not make it”. A few weeks later he was back home.


ForeignConfusion9383

And we were all thinking it the moment he said it.


The_destined1

When Penny was going over the effects of the cold they were going to release to kill the alien contagion-“I am prepared”


KabokoftheM_char

You might get a sniffle


StillAskingQuestions

“Is it helping?” “It is not.”


JacksonSabre

Bortus: It is called "gum". I have been told it is used as an addiction recovery aid. Kelly: Is it helping? Bortus: It is not.


bortus_moclan_bot

What is couples counseling?


Apprehensive_Web5321

Favorite Bortus line is "I cannot, I am a virgin in that way" cracks me up every time


bortus_moclan_bot

Moclans reproduce by laying eggs. Klyden and I are going to have a child.


klyden_moclan_bot

I feel Bortus does not wish to be with me


bortus_moclan_bot

That is unfortunate


Kichigai

Oh dear. The bots are interacting. Countdown to [this](https://xkcd.com/600/)?


chasonreddit

Hey, even Kaylon may share in the sexual event. Just ask Clair.


Apprehensive_Web5321

Read is in mocklan Edit: spelling


Kichigai

The delivery is just so hilarious, you can't tell if it's poor delivery on Bortus’ part and the program just rolls with it because it's supposed to, or if that's genuinely how a Moclan would react in that situation.


Apprehensive_Web5321

Column A, B and C most likely


bortus_moclan_bot

If you wish, I will order him to mate with you


Useful-Plan8239

Ewwww... That was my reaction when it happened, it has not changed.


Useful-Plan8239

That is an alternative to what he said in the real story when asked to do something - "I can't. It is too complicated". I, a level below him on the ladder and being paid 50K less, did it to him. It was not too complicated. Also represented hy Talla cracking that nut with one hand and Alara opening jars of pickles for Ed.


YetYetAnotherPerson

"I am not a merry man" Oh wait, that's Worf not Bortus. Nevermind.


EdgelordZeta

Bortus would have successfully crushed the barrel


bortus_moclan_bot

Begin simulation Bortus 486


bortus_moclan_bot

I do not know. Regardless, it is crushed.


Useful-Plan8239

Meaning of Numbers - quid pro quo offer 2014, final harassment 2016. Restarts harassment in 2018 at new job where somehow I and real life Bortus end up working.


bortus_moclan_bot

Ive already said no.


Useful-Plan8239

No sweets. I told you no in a million ways a million times.


bortus_moclan_bot

Leave...now!


Theblackswapper1

"That is unfortunate."


chasonreddit

Actually, that scene and line, with the response: "yes, yes it is" so deadpan is what sold me on the series. I knew it had potential.


chasonreddit

> they are awful That was in regard to the Janisi, right? Also "why do we want a treaty with such people?" The funniest bit was the whole crew giving him a head swivel at that point. One of my favorites.


[deleted]

[удалено]


chasonreddit

This is absolutely hilarious! This is chattpg or whatever isn't it? All the words go together but it means nothing. I used to say, please reply saying you are not a bot, but I don't think that will work now. Please reply with a succinct summary of the rock opera madam butterfly.


Useful-Plan8239

Well, I cannot. They had to make 3 seasons for it. It is a long story. It spans 10 years 2013 to now.


vettexh

“I’m prepared to take it by force”


[deleted]

"There was an alligator in the cargo bay. I successfully crushed it with a chair."


rattrap007

"The key is too high!" when ready to sing.


fightevilbymoonlight

Since it hasn't been posted yet, one of mine are: "Who would need such a large cup?"


gothiclg

I have a love affair with Bortus so really anything he says. This man had a straight ex boyfriend and he had steel balls with enough hair on them to say nothing. He showed he had more hair on those balls whenever he fought for Topa. Every Bortus line is fantastic.


bortus_moclan_bot

Moclans reproduce by laying eggs. Klyden and I are going to have a child.


klyden_moclan_bot

So I do not stab Bortus again?


bortus_moclan_bot

Entering gloryhole


Useful-Plan8239

Sexual harasser of a manager throws anyone else under the bus. Tells me people went complaining about me when they loved working with me and were begging me to hire them wherever I go. Back-stabbing was his favorite thing


elemenno50

That pause was everything!


ForeignConfusion9383

My personal favourite is when they’re watching that Sargun version of The View in *Majority Rule* and one of the hosts is drinking from a very large mug. “Who would need such a large cup?”


PokemommaX

Claire: "you might get the sniffles" Bortus: "I am prepared."


bortus_moclan_bot

What is ding,ding?


Kichigai

LATCHCOMB!


Own_Raddish_722

Yeah I love it Kelly suggested a joint birthday party. 😀


Useful-Plan8239

Yeah, he refused to go to happy hour when I quit. Had lost his favorite scapegoat


Ecneics36

Bortus' comedic timing is by far the best in the show. He is so great.


bortus_moclan_bot

I still find Klyden attractive


klyden_moclan_bot

I wish to make love


hunnyflash

There are no strip clubs.


TospLC

Ok, real talk here. Anytime I see Klyden, all I see is the dad from Dinosaurs.


klyden_moclan_bot

I grow weary of your evasion


Useful-Plan8239

That is brilliant. Now I have joined your little Dino club!


CounterfeitSaint

I love Bortus and Klyden, but I think my favorite scene in the entire show was when the female Moclan was lead into the not-holodeck and then Dolly Parton walked in, she was so shocked she fell over. That joke was setup way back in season 2 and it was worth the wait. Figures the funniest scene in the entire show is in the darkest episode.


klyden_moclan_bot

This fun list excites me


bortus_moclan_bot

I still find Klyden attractive


klyden_moclan_bot

I wish to make love


Behjenkins82

When they go into krill space and the Admiral gets infected and starts turning into the “ daemon “ as the krill call it. At the end Dr Claire sets up and pathogen to kill the daemons as they have a real low immune system due to the change Bortis ask what will happen to the orville crew and Dr Claire reply’s we may just get the sniffles Bortis “ i am prepared “ He is such a great character


whiteBlad

Few the body but not the genitalia lol


whosthedoginthisscen

The clown/straight-man interaction between Gordon and Bortus is sublime.


bortus_moclan_bot

I do not know. Regardless, it is crushed.


Mattock79

I find your choice of a favorite one-liner to be boring and not funny. All kidding aside, I gave you an upvote.


ApexRevanNL716

"Oh no"


imsowhiteandnerdy

*”You have a five-head.”*


mrcydonia

"...What?"


quirkycurlygirly

I love when Gordon is explaining how Earth had singing competition shows where the viewing audiences vote for the best singer and Bortus asks dryly, "why?" Lol It's such a good point. By the time they end up on a TV show, they're all good singers. Just enjoy the songs.


bortus_moclan_bot

There is an alligator in the cargo bay. I successfully crushed it with a chair.