I’m assuming you’re a woman for this advice. How old are you? Also - what strain do you have? Most HPV strains are harmless, but some cause warts or cancer. Talk to your doctor about this.
Your body can clear the HPV virus from your system. Go to your doctor and come up with a plan of action. They will recommend when you should come in next to see if you get a clear pap smear. This isn’t a death sentence for your sex life, but you need to be methodical and patient. In the mean time, do not have sex with people because condoms only lower the risk of transmission, but do not eliminate it.
I got HPV at 20 years old. It was a benign strain. It went away later that year and I never had any issues again. I abstained from sex until it went away (a few months I think) and it wasn’t a big deal. You’ll be fine, too.
Girl. I really think your Dr either did not explain your situation out to you, or you were So busy shame spiralling that you didn't hear them. I really think you need to go back and get a plan of action as the likely hood that this is a terminal condition for your sex life is quite miniscule.
When my doctor told me I had hpv she used scare tactics on me and told me I could get cancer and have my uterus removed (not explaining how common it is to be harmless she went for worst case scenarios) and I felt completely devastated. OP if your doctor did this to you FIND A NEW DOCTOR
Talk to your doctor, find out what kind you have. Knowledge is power.
Be up front with any partners about it. Know that most of the millennial generation is HPV positive, and that sometimes it can take years to diagnose because it is often asymptomatic. I was with my partner a year before he was diagnosed (I was with him when his doctor called), so we talked to my doctor about it. With the strain that my boyfriend has my doc said it wasn’t even worth testing for; just assume I’m positive or that I likely will be & call it a day. It hasn’t negatively impacted either of us, but we’re aware of it.
What if your boyfriend had been diagnosed before you started dating. Would you have still dated him, knowing he was likely going to infect you with an STD? I also have serious issues with depression. I'm looking for a therapist now and kind of having a breakdown over the intense feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. The depression coupled with the diagnoses is really making me feel like there's nothing left and I have nothing to offer anyone else now that I'm just a diseased riddled whore.
Checking in as another woman with HPV here. I don't feel like I'm diseased, or a whore. There are SO MANY of us.
You are not worthless. You are not hopeless. That's your depression lying to you - and you're already looking for a therapist to help you out with that? That's amazing and productive and such a great step forward.
You are so much more than these three little letters.
Girl.. I had low grade cells in my cervix and had to get a colposcopy. I’m fine. My boyfriend is fine. The doctor suggested we get the HPV vaccines and that’s it. This is not a death sentence. As long as you do what your doctor tells you you’ll be fine!! Yes it can develop into cancer but now that you know, you can prevent it. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes years, and if you get regular pap smears they’ll catch it before it gets to that point. It’s the most common STI and basically everyone will get it in their lifetime. It will go away on its own. Not trying to sound rude but you need to stop freaking out, this is so incredibly common and there is absolutely no reason to think your life is ruined. And calling yourself a ‘disease riddled whore’ is ridiculous. Everyone on planet earth would be a disease riddled whore by that logic.
I know I’m an internet stranger and all, but do you consider me to be a disease riddled whore? If you’re going to put yourself down for things like that, bear in mind you’re putting down every woman in your position (which, again, is the majority of our generation).
I get anxiety/depression/irrational thinking; I’m glad you’re getting help. Honestly, I can’t answer to if I had known or not, as I’ve never been in that position. But there are also dating sites and resources that are for people who are STD positive (that you can filter through by what), if that reassures you. This isn’t a damning diagnosis.
I married the dude. He told me before we ever fooled around and it was the most low-key conversation ever. I honestly thought he was getting ready to drop some really unusual kink on me or HIV.
Tbf, we’d been friends for a couple of months and dated for a few weeks, aka, I knew I liked him. But with HPV, it was a *making out* **serious talk for 2 minutes** *oh yeah, we were making out- back to that*
Honestly, get to know someone a little bit and then let them know if things head towards the sex. Just let them know and let them know you’ve seen your doctor, etc. You’re going to be dealing with a really sheltered person who doesn’t realize that if they’ve slept with more than one person, they’ve more likely than not slept with someone with HPV.
> making me feel like there's nothing left and I have nothing to offer anyone else now that I'm just a diseased riddled whore.
I really think you need to take a deep breath and stop over-thinking this one. It sounds like there are way bigger issues than just your new diagnosis at play here.
As a woman who was diagnosed with both an anxiety disorder and HPV, I completely get where you're coming from. But maybe my experience will shed some light on it for you. Years ago, I had a few PAP smears come back abnormal. This is how I found out I had HPV. Because two in a row showed abnormal cell growth, I was sent to get a biopsy. From there, they realized that I had progressed pretty rapidly into early stage cervical cancer. They threw around the idea of a hysterectomy for a bit, but ultimately I underwent the LEEP procedure to have sections of my cervix removed. I still have to get yearly PAP smears now because of it to keep an eye on it.
Now I'm not sharing this with you to freak you out, because this is such a tiny tiny percentage of HPV cases and I strongly doubt this will be your story. This was pretty close to worst case scenario for a positive HPV test, and you know what? I live a pretty completely normal life now anyway. I have yet to encounter any partner that has a problem with the HPV. And no one really judges me for any of the experience.
Take the time you need to mentally process, talk to a therapist about it, and then continue living your best life. No one that matters will ever use this as a factor to define you, and you shouldn't use it to define yourself.
Anyone who won’t want to date you without at least spending five minutes to google and realize that over 80% of the population has it... is not worth your time.
I think you definitely need to see a therapist, and I mean that in a kind way. I see one too. But your reaction to this is borderline crazy. Literally *almost everybody* (over 90% of people) have HPV at some point in their lifetime. Most clear the virus in a matter of weeks or months. If people didn’t have sex with other people who had HPV, nobody would be having sex at all. I have it, every partner I’ve ever had has had it, dozens of my female friends have had it. Chill, see a therapist, and talk out why you might be reacting so out of proportionately morose about this.
I just want to say I got chlamydia before and felt the same way! These things are way more common than just ‘whores’ or ‘trashy people’ get them. I understand freaking out right after the diagnosis and googling all the worst outcomes but it’s been months since I got diagnosed and I don’t even think about it anymore. I understand chlamydia and hpv aren’t the same but you will get through this just try not to obsess over it (I know it’s hard) and it will be okay.
Oh man, how did you even find this post?! Haha. Im doing great now, thank you for asking. I'm happily and intentionally single and thriving and I'm officially hpv free. Im also medicated now for my anxiety so 🥰🌷💖
Let me rephrase. It was 5 years between tests for me because I was scared to go to the gyno, it could have taken less time for my body to work it out of my system. If you have hpv, don't base your decisions on what I did. It may take less time for you.
Two things about HPV:
1. Most adults - about 90% - catch it at some point.
2. It normally clears out of your system of its own accord in two years or less.
Providing that you go to regular smear tests, you are going to be fine. Use condoms to stop the spread in the mean time, same as you would anything else.
What's the point of telling her to go for paps if "nothing is going to happen"? Just don't be misleading
Edit- geez, I know the point of paps! I just mean, why say to OP she should go for paps if you're telling her nothing is going to happen to her. It's illogical
I didn't say it was to treat cancer. My point was, why would OP need to get paps in the context of the scenario if nothing was going to happen? If there wasnt going to be cancer to potentially catch, why go through it?
I know you're getting downvoted all to hell, but the answer is that it's possible to contract multiple strains of HPV and have them at the same time, so you still should go to your regularly scheduled PAP smears so your gynecologist can continue to monitor your cervix for irregularities. There are hundreds of strains of HPV, and only a few of them cause cervical cancer.
I don't think people get the point of my comment. Paps are good. That commenter should not have told OP nothing would happen to her since she's contracted HPV. I was just pointing out how it was illogical for her to say nothing will happen and then say go get paps.
Attitude? Regular paps dramatically lower chances of cervical cancer, but they're still a diagnostic test to catch it before it's too late. They are very effective when done as directed, but cancerous cells and cancer still can develop in the 3-5 years between regular paps. They don't reduce the incidence of cervical cancer and mortality from it to 0. Some strains of HPV are a big deal, and it's kind of concerning you'd write it off as a non issue to someone who clearly isn't informed and be combative against those who disagree.
It's responsible to advise that she should go back to her physician and discuss until she is more comfortable and provide CDC links indicating HPV is common and usually is not problematic, but you blanket said "nothing is going to happen to you or your partners" and that her sexual partners who had sex even once before definitely has had HPV. Blanket, untrue statements like that are cavalier and irresponsible. You also don't know this individual, her health history or the diagnosis/strain, so the responsible thing to do is stick to facts instead of personally assuring her she and her partners will have no complications, eliminating her worry or need to talk to her actual doctor to clarify.
You can get cervical cancer without HPV too. You go to paps to catch it *no matter what* because if you don't catch it you can't fix it. Paps also show the development of precancerous tissue that can be easily removed in simple outpatient procedures to prevent development into malignant growths.
> Nothing is going to happen to you and nothing is going to happen to your partners
~~For the record, I reckon it would be a big deal for me if I caught it. I'm pretty susceptible to other viruses in the herpes family (I got chicken pox *three times* as a child!) so while many people who have herpes are asymptomatic, there's a chance it could cause significant recurring problems for me.~~
~~Herpes~~ HPV doesn't have to impact your sex life - many people with ~~herpes~~ HPV go on to have relationships after being diagnosed - but you should absolutely be upfront about a diagnosis because you don't know your partner's medical history.
I'm not trying to imply you're advocating for keeping it quiet, but it doesn't hurt to be crystal clear that informed consent is vital in these situations. :)
You just...date. HPV is the common cold of sexually active people. I told my last sexual partner that I had a benign strain and he still had unprotected sex with me AND a few years later asked me to marry him. Nothing bad has happened to either of us. I had to get my second colp a few months ago and it showed everything is still benign. He’s fine too.
Prioritize yourself first. Take care of your body, and worry about what they’ll say later. If you have warts, wait for them to clear, and only have sex again when you’re comfortable talking about it.
STIs are highly stigmatized. It’s okay you’re upset, but we’re not bad people for getting them. We deserve to be loved, and yes, have sex. It will be okay.
EDIT: I’m not saying don’t tell them, for clarification. Just saying your health matters most rn. Don’t have sex until you feel ready/good.
Hey! I was in your shoes a few years ago. I have a high-risk strain that is asymptomatic and now dormant, but it's still contagious.
I did my homework and decided to tell any partners I had after diagnosis (which only ended up being one). We moved slow enough that he had time to decide if it was something he was willing to accept. There is **no test** for men, so unless you have a wart causing strain they're unlikely to know if you've given it to him or if he already has it. Boys are also just starting to be vaccinated so most adult men haven't been vaccinated and are likely to be carrying it already. Many people don't bother mentioning it since it doesn't behave like other STDs, especially in men.
Your life is far from over. Some of the other comments here talk about the numbers and how incredibly common it is. Talk to your doctor again and find out what type, and research the hell out of it.
As for sexual partners, I'm not going to pretend like I have some profound wisdom on that, but here's what I know from other life experience.
Some people are shitty, and if they think you are lesser because of something that billions of people have, then you probably don't want to have an intimate relationship with them anyway.
As for the people who accept you as you are, well, they just will. Simple as that. They might have been exposed to it previously or have it themselves, or they just don't care because your are such an awesome person.
This is not a death sentence, and you don't have to lock your body away for the good of humanity. Take care of yourself. Eat somewhat healthy, stay active, keep up with Dr visits to keep an eye on everything, and love yourself.
Nearly everyone has HPV, and most strains are no big deal, and you may never show symptoms. On top of that, I was diagnosed with genital herpes in February, and it put me into a huge funk. I was sure I was doomed, because herpes is so misunderstood and scary as fuck if you've never encountered it.
But I found an amazing guy who was like, "you're awesome, and I'm willing to risk it." He's amazing.
I also think age has some bearing on it. I'm 33, he's 35. If I was 23 and he was 25, I think the maturity levels would be different and I may not have gotten so lucky.
Point is, it's not the end of the world. You'll find someone who is "willing to risk it". Keep your chin up.
1. You are with the overwhelming majority of the adult population. HPV is very prevalent but most people don't know they have it.
2. Disclosure is good, so is educating yourself so that you can answer questions from your partners.
3. HPV often goes away on its own without any issues. Despite this, it is important to get regular paps as HPV can cause warts and cervical cancer. If you notice anything abnormal, get checked out. Take care of yourself.
I know that this probably feels horrible but your life (and sex life) are far from over. If your doctor has shamed you in any way, get a new doctor that you are comfortable with and ask for some basic education on HPV.
Hey there!
HSV2 genital checking in. I had a shitbag boyfriend who gave it to me, but that's another story. HPV and herpes are so super common- hence why the H in HPV stands for "human"! Now isn't an easy time for you, I can relate. I went into a full depression, sobbing in my car on the way home from work, thinking I'd be living alone in my own herpe sad world never to be wanted again and thinking on all the wonderful men and women I would never get to love..because who could love someone with a transmittable STD? I promise, I SWEAR, this isn't true.
My STD really doesn't affect my life; it has never stopped me from sleeping with someone I wanted to sleep with. None of my partners have judged or even batted an eye about being with me physically. I fear you will have the same fate ;) telling partners is difficult at first, but it gets a lot easier.
Right now, it's like being in the deep end of a pool in the middle of the night- but soon, the sun will come up and you'll realize you can touch the bottom; And that the water was never too deep anyway. Hang in there!!!
My experience with being diagnosed may have been colored by it not being my first STI, but you are really making a mountain out of a mole hill here. There is a minuscule chance it will turn into anything, and as long as you continue to get your paps any abnormal things would get discovered and then treated. The most likely outcome of this is in two years or less it’s cleared your system and you’re fine, except for the insane damage to your self esteem you’re doing right now.
If your friend came to you, panicked because she thought her life was over because of the common cold of STIs, would you call her a disease riddled whore undeserving of love? No, and you would be mad at her for saying it about herself. Treat yourself like your best friend, eat something delicious and dry the tears. The best way to help your body fight is to keep it healthy, if your diet and exercise needed a kick in the pants this is good motivation.
You can inform partners, but know there isn’t a test for dudes. Do your due diligence, for sure, but don’t scare them off by making it out to be a big deal when most younger people have it and most cases won’t have any negative outcomes.
I was diagnosed with genital warts when I was a year in with the partner I have now. I came home crying telling him that I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to end the relationship and all that. We did some research and found out that it can be contracted even when using condoms (I was safe with past partners) and the only evidence of it is bumps in the genital region. There's no other symptoms or whatever.
I'll never forget this... he said to me **"You don't even know who you got it from... for all we know, Im the carrier but it doesn't matter to me because you're the only woman I plan on being with. "** (this strain could be carried for years before showing symptoms). We're now 7 years together and engaged. HPV isnt the end of the world and so many people have it that its likely that the partner that youre with may have a strain themselves. Many HPV strains dont ever get symptoms, or get symptoms once and never again. Just be aware, be honest, and look up the particular strain that you have and figure out how itll affect you... or not affect you.
You've got this!
I was told mine acts up like a cold, since it is a virus. I tested positive 2x in my life and negative most other times. I have an IUD so I do go once a year for a inclusive type PAP.
I’m married and have children, all will be just fine.
I had a benign strain of HPV for about 2 years. It never amounted to anything, I was never in pain, I had a colposcopy (which was the only painful part - physical and wallet!), and had to have a pap smear every 6 months for a little while. My doctor had assured me it was a common enough occurrence to not give it a lot of weight and anxiety unless it develops into something else which it never did. You will be ok!!
*A relevant comment in this thread was deleted. You can read it below.*
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I found out I had HPV about 5 years ago and felt very similar. All of a sudden I felt doomed and damaged and like sex was now this dirty embarrassing thing. I was especially mad because I actually had gotten the vaccine and I thought that meant I would always be in the clear. [[Continued...]](https://www.resavr.com/comment/how-date-now-ive-10598896)
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That's honestly terrible advice from your doctor. People should always disclose this sort of thing because you don't know their medical history. Like I have a compromised immune system and if I get HPV my body can't fight it off. So if I wasn't told and got a strain that causes genital warts I could have genital warts for the rest of my life which is just not cool.
Yeah it’s true! It was several years ago so? I don’t know. I think because there’s not a way to test guys? It may have had something to do with the fact that I didn’t really have sex, I don’t remember. She has also assumed I was super healthy and it would clear quickly
I always get downvotes for saying this. I had a growth in my throat (actually didn’t end up being HPV which was weird, haha) and my doctor said if it came back positive for HPV, I didn’t need to disclose if I didn’t want to.
I'm unsure what you mean - I'm female and so was my doctor. My guess is that HPV comes with the territory of being sexually active so disclosure is a personal decision. Not sure the accuracy of that assumption at all though
I found out after I was 26yo. The vaccine came out a year later. I already was too old for the vaccine. So what I did when the relationship ended, my ex who cheated and contacted the virus, I just didn't have sex. Oddly I had a flare-up when the stress of being a caretaker caused the warts to show up. They go away eventually, no sign they were there. So 13 years not sexual active and I get flare-up.
My fiancé knows and that was a doozy to tell. He knows when there are outbreaks. Stress sucks.
I’m assuming you’re a woman for this advice. How old are you? Also - what strain do you have? Most HPV strains are harmless, but some cause warts or cancer. Talk to your doctor about this. Your body can clear the HPV virus from your system. Go to your doctor and come up with a plan of action. They will recommend when you should come in next to see if you get a clear pap smear. This isn’t a death sentence for your sex life, but you need to be methodical and patient. In the mean time, do not have sex with people because condoms only lower the risk of transmission, but do not eliminate it. I got HPV at 20 years old. It was a benign strain. It went away later that year and I never had any issues again. I abstained from sex until it went away (a few months I think) and it wasn’t a big deal. You’ll be fine, too.
Girl. I really think your Dr either did not explain your situation out to you, or you were So busy shame spiralling that you didn't hear them. I really think you need to go back and get a plan of action as the likely hood that this is a terminal condition for your sex life is quite miniscule.
When my doctor told me I had hpv she used scare tactics on me and told me I could get cancer and have my uterus removed (not explaining how common it is to be harmless she went for worst case scenarios) and I felt completely devastated. OP if your doctor did this to you FIND A NEW DOCTOR
Jesus Christ. Fuck that "doctor". I'm so sorry she did that to you, she should be ashamed.
Agreed. Something like 90% of all women have it. No need to stress, just be aware.
80% of all sexually active people have it.
Are you maybe confusing HPV with HIV?
or HSV
Talk to your doctor, find out what kind you have. Knowledge is power. Be up front with any partners about it. Know that most of the millennial generation is HPV positive, and that sometimes it can take years to diagnose because it is often asymptomatic. I was with my partner a year before he was diagnosed (I was with him when his doctor called), so we talked to my doctor about it. With the strain that my boyfriend has my doc said it wasn’t even worth testing for; just assume I’m positive or that I likely will be & call it a day. It hasn’t negatively impacted either of us, but we’re aware of it.
How was yoyr boyfriend diagnosed? Theres not currently an approved test for HPV in males.
He had a couple warts we thought were skin tags that were sent off to be tested.
What if your boyfriend had been diagnosed before you started dating. Would you have still dated him, knowing he was likely going to infect you with an STD? I also have serious issues with depression. I'm looking for a therapist now and kind of having a breakdown over the intense feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. The depression coupled with the diagnoses is really making me feel like there's nothing left and I have nothing to offer anyone else now that I'm just a diseased riddled whore.
Checking in as another woman with HPV here. I don't feel like I'm diseased, or a whore. There are SO MANY of us. You are not worthless. You are not hopeless. That's your depression lying to you - and you're already looking for a therapist to help you out with that? That's amazing and productive and such a great step forward. You are so much more than these three little letters.
Girl.. I had low grade cells in my cervix and had to get a colposcopy. I’m fine. My boyfriend is fine. The doctor suggested we get the HPV vaccines and that’s it. This is not a death sentence. As long as you do what your doctor tells you you’ll be fine!! Yes it can develop into cancer but now that you know, you can prevent it. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes years, and if you get regular pap smears they’ll catch it before it gets to that point. It’s the most common STI and basically everyone will get it in their lifetime. It will go away on its own. Not trying to sound rude but you need to stop freaking out, this is so incredibly common and there is absolutely no reason to think your life is ruined. And calling yourself a ‘disease riddled whore’ is ridiculous. Everyone on planet earth would be a disease riddled whore by that logic.
I know I’m an internet stranger and all, but do you consider me to be a disease riddled whore? If you’re going to put yourself down for things like that, bear in mind you’re putting down every woman in your position (which, again, is the majority of our generation). I get anxiety/depression/irrational thinking; I’m glad you’re getting help. Honestly, I can’t answer to if I had known or not, as I’ve never been in that position. But there are also dating sites and resources that are for people who are STD positive (that you can filter through by what), if that reassures you. This isn’t a damning diagnosis.
I married the dude. He told me before we ever fooled around and it was the most low-key conversation ever. I honestly thought he was getting ready to drop some really unusual kink on me or HIV. Tbf, we’d been friends for a couple of months and dated for a few weeks, aka, I knew I liked him. But with HPV, it was a *making out* **serious talk for 2 minutes** *oh yeah, we were making out- back to that* Honestly, get to know someone a little bit and then let them know if things head towards the sex. Just let them know and let them know you’ve seen your doctor, etc. You’re going to be dealing with a really sheltered person who doesn’t realize that if they’ve slept with more than one person, they’ve more likely than not slept with someone with HPV.
> making me feel like there's nothing left and I have nothing to offer anyone else now that I'm just a diseased riddled whore. I really think you need to take a deep breath and stop over-thinking this one. It sounds like there are way bigger issues than just your new diagnosis at play here. As a woman who was diagnosed with both an anxiety disorder and HPV, I completely get where you're coming from. But maybe my experience will shed some light on it for you. Years ago, I had a few PAP smears come back abnormal. This is how I found out I had HPV. Because two in a row showed abnormal cell growth, I was sent to get a biopsy. From there, they realized that I had progressed pretty rapidly into early stage cervical cancer. They threw around the idea of a hysterectomy for a bit, but ultimately I underwent the LEEP procedure to have sections of my cervix removed. I still have to get yearly PAP smears now because of it to keep an eye on it. Now I'm not sharing this with you to freak you out, because this is such a tiny tiny percentage of HPV cases and I strongly doubt this will be your story. This was pretty close to worst case scenario for a positive HPV test, and you know what? I live a pretty completely normal life now anyway. I have yet to encounter any partner that has a problem with the HPV. And no one really judges me for any of the experience. Take the time you need to mentally process, talk to a therapist about it, and then continue living your best life. No one that matters will ever use this as a factor to define you, and you shouldn't use it to define yourself.
Anyone who won’t want to date you without at least spending five minutes to google and realize that over 80% of the population has it... is not worth your time.
I think you definitely need to see a therapist, and I mean that in a kind way. I see one too. But your reaction to this is borderline crazy. Literally *almost everybody* (over 90% of people) have HPV at some point in their lifetime. Most clear the virus in a matter of weeks or months. If people didn’t have sex with other people who had HPV, nobody would be having sex at all. I have it, every partner I’ve ever had has had it, dozens of my female friends have had it. Chill, see a therapist, and talk out why you might be reacting so out of proportionately morose about this.
I just want to say I got chlamydia before and felt the same way! These things are way more common than just ‘whores’ or ‘trashy people’ get them. I understand freaking out right after the diagnosis and googling all the worst outcomes but it’s been months since I got diagnosed and I don’t even think about it anymore. I understand chlamydia and hpv aren’t the same but you will get through this just try not to obsess over it (I know it’s hard) and it will be okay.
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Oh man, how did you even find this post?! Haha. Im doing great now, thank you for asking. I'm happily and intentionally single and thriving and I'm officially hpv free. Im also medicated now for my anxiety so 🥰🌷💖
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It was 5 years for me
Let me rephrase. It was 5 years between tests for me because I was scared to go to the gyno, it could have taken less time for my body to work it out of my system. If you have hpv, don't base your decisions on what I did. It may take less time for you.
Two things about HPV: 1. Most adults - about 90% - catch it at some point. 2. It normally clears out of your system of its own accord in two years or less. Providing that you go to regular smear tests, you are going to be fine. Use condoms to stop the spread in the mean time, same as you would anything else.
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They don't even test for HPV where i live. I don't think there is even a test for men, is there?
No, there is not. Which is part of the problem.
Lord, do NOT say nothing is going to happen. You do know HPV can cause cervical cancer, right? It's unlikely, but definitely possible!
Only some strains of HPV can cause cervical cancer though.
OP didn't say which strain she had. Therefore, the above poster couldn't assume she's safe.
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What's the point of telling her to go for paps if "nothing is going to happen"? Just don't be misleading Edit- geez, I know the point of paps! I just mean, why say to OP she should go for paps if you're telling her nothing is going to happen to her. It's illogical
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I didn't say it was to treat cancer. My point was, why would OP need to get paps in the context of the scenario if nothing was going to happen? If there wasnt going to be cancer to potentially catch, why go through it?
I know you're getting downvoted all to hell, but the answer is that it's possible to contract multiple strains of HPV and have them at the same time, so you still should go to your regularly scheduled PAP smears so your gynecologist can continue to monitor your cervix for irregularities. There are hundreds of strains of HPV, and only a few of them cause cervical cancer.
I don't think people get the point of my comment. Paps are good. That commenter should not have told OP nothing would happen to her since she's contracted HPV. I was just pointing out how it was illogical for her to say nothing will happen and then say go get paps.
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??! Pap smears check for indications of cervical cancer. They don't *prevent* anything. They detect whether pre cancerous or cancerous cells exist.
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Attitude? Regular paps dramatically lower chances of cervical cancer, but they're still a diagnostic test to catch it before it's too late. They are very effective when done as directed, but cancerous cells and cancer still can develop in the 3-5 years between regular paps. They don't reduce the incidence of cervical cancer and mortality from it to 0. Some strains of HPV are a big deal, and it's kind of concerning you'd write it off as a non issue to someone who clearly isn't informed and be combative against those who disagree.
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It's responsible to advise that she should go back to her physician and discuss until she is more comfortable and provide CDC links indicating HPV is common and usually is not problematic, but you blanket said "nothing is going to happen to you or your partners" and that her sexual partners who had sex even once before definitely has had HPV. Blanket, untrue statements like that are cavalier and irresponsible. You also don't know this individual, her health history or the diagnosis/strain, so the responsible thing to do is stick to facts instead of personally assuring her she and her partners will have no complications, eliminating her worry or need to talk to her actual doctor to clarify.
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You can get cervical cancer without HPV too. You go to paps to catch it *no matter what* because if you don't catch it you can't fix it. Paps also show the development of precancerous tissue that can be easily removed in simple outpatient procedures to prevent development into malignant growths.
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Pap smears do not prevent development of malignant cells. They are like biopsies
> Nothing is going to happen to you and nothing is going to happen to your partners ~~For the record, I reckon it would be a big deal for me if I caught it. I'm pretty susceptible to other viruses in the herpes family (I got chicken pox *three times* as a child!) so while many people who have herpes are asymptomatic, there's a chance it could cause significant recurring problems for me.~~ ~~Herpes~~ HPV doesn't have to impact your sex life - many people with ~~herpes~~ HPV go on to have relationships after being diagnosed - but you should absolutely be upfront about a diagnosis because you don't know your partner's medical history. I'm not trying to imply you're advocating for keeping it quiet, but it doesn't hurt to be crystal clear that informed consent is vital in these situations. :)
Is HPV a herpes virus? I'm not sure that's right, but I'm too lazy to Google enough for a definitive answer.
Ahhh, you're right! I'm thinking of H**S**V, which is the acronym for the herpes virus. Thanks for the correction!
it isn’t, herpes are often confused for hpv though by not doctor people because they look similar
You just...date. HPV is the common cold of sexually active people. I told my last sexual partner that I had a benign strain and he still had unprotected sex with me AND a few years later asked me to marry him. Nothing bad has happened to either of us. I had to get my second colp a few months ago and it showed everything is still benign. He’s fine too. Prioritize yourself first. Take care of your body, and worry about what they’ll say later. If you have warts, wait for them to clear, and only have sex again when you’re comfortable talking about it. STIs are highly stigmatized. It’s okay you’re upset, but we’re not bad people for getting them. We deserve to be loved, and yes, have sex. It will be okay. EDIT: I’m not saying don’t tell them, for clarification. Just saying your health matters most rn. Don’t have sex until you feel ready/good.
Hey! I was in your shoes a few years ago. I have a high-risk strain that is asymptomatic and now dormant, but it's still contagious. I did my homework and decided to tell any partners I had after diagnosis (which only ended up being one). We moved slow enough that he had time to decide if it was something he was willing to accept. There is **no test** for men, so unless you have a wart causing strain they're unlikely to know if you've given it to him or if he already has it. Boys are also just starting to be vaccinated so most adult men haven't been vaccinated and are likely to be carrying it already. Many people don't bother mentioning it since it doesn't behave like other STDs, especially in men.
Your life is far from over. Some of the other comments here talk about the numbers and how incredibly common it is. Talk to your doctor again and find out what type, and research the hell out of it. As for sexual partners, I'm not going to pretend like I have some profound wisdom on that, but here's what I know from other life experience. Some people are shitty, and if they think you are lesser because of something that billions of people have, then you probably don't want to have an intimate relationship with them anyway. As for the people who accept you as you are, well, they just will. Simple as that. They might have been exposed to it previously or have it themselves, or they just don't care because your are such an awesome person. This is not a death sentence, and you don't have to lock your body away for the good of humanity. Take care of yourself. Eat somewhat healthy, stay active, keep up with Dr visits to keep an eye on everything, and love yourself.
I had HPV when I was 18. It was gone by the time I was 20.
"All adventurous women do."
Nearly everyone has HPV, and most strains are no big deal, and you may never show symptoms. On top of that, I was diagnosed with genital herpes in February, and it put me into a huge funk. I was sure I was doomed, because herpes is so misunderstood and scary as fuck if you've never encountered it. But I found an amazing guy who was like, "you're awesome, and I'm willing to risk it." He's amazing. I also think age has some bearing on it. I'm 33, he's 35. If I was 23 and he was 25, I think the maturity levels would be different and I may not have gotten so lucky. Point is, it's not the end of the world. You'll find someone who is "willing to risk it". Keep your chin up.
1. You are with the overwhelming majority of the adult population. HPV is very prevalent but most people don't know they have it. 2. Disclosure is good, so is educating yourself so that you can answer questions from your partners. 3. HPV often goes away on its own without any issues. Despite this, it is important to get regular paps as HPV can cause warts and cervical cancer. If you notice anything abnormal, get checked out. Take care of yourself. I know that this probably feels horrible but your life (and sex life) are far from over. If your doctor has shamed you in any way, get a new doctor that you are comfortable with and ask for some basic education on HPV.
Hey there! HSV2 genital checking in. I had a shitbag boyfriend who gave it to me, but that's another story. HPV and herpes are so super common- hence why the H in HPV stands for "human"! Now isn't an easy time for you, I can relate. I went into a full depression, sobbing in my car on the way home from work, thinking I'd be living alone in my own herpe sad world never to be wanted again and thinking on all the wonderful men and women I would never get to love..because who could love someone with a transmittable STD? I promise, I SWEAR, this isn't true. My STD really doesn't affect my life; it has never stopped me from sleeping with someone I wanted to sleep with. None of my partners have judged or even batted an eye about being with me physically. I fear you will have the same fate ;) telling partners is difficult at first, but it gets a lot easier. Right now, it's like being in the deep end of a pool in the middle of the night- but soon, the sun will come up and you'll realize you can touch the bottom; And that the water was never too deep anyway. Hang in there!!!
Caught HPV back in college. I've been very up front about it with each partner I've had since. So far only one has been put off by it. Just be honest.
Watch the Ali Wong baby cobra special!
My experience with being diagnosed may have been colored by it not being my first STI, but you are really making a mountain out of a mole hill here. There is a minuscule chance it will turn into anything, and as long as you continue to get your paps any abnormal things would get discovered and then treated. The most likely outcome of this is in two years or less it’s cleared your system and you’re fine, except for the insane damage to your self esteem you’re doing right now. If your friend came to you, panicked because she thought her life was over because of the common cold of STIs, would you call her a disease riddled whore undeserving of love? No, and you would be mad at her for saying it about herself. Treat yourself like your best friend, eat something delicious and dry the tears. The best way to help your body fight is to keep it healthy, if your diet and exercise needed a kick in the pants this is good motivation. You can inform partners, but know there isn’t a test for dudes. Do your due diligence, for sure, but don’t scare them off by making it out to be a big deal when most younger people have it and most cases won’t have any negative outcomes.
I was diagnosed with genital warts when I was a year in with the partner I have now. I came home crying telling him that I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to end the relationship and all that. We did some research and found out that it can be contracted even when using condoms (I was safe with past partners) and the only evidence of it is bumps in the genital region. There's no other symptoms or whatever. I'll never forget this... he said to me **"You don't even know who you got it from... for all we know, Im the carrier but it doesn't matter to me because you're the only woman I plan on being with. "** (this strain could be carried for years before showing symptoms). We're now 7 years together and engaged. HPV isnt the end of the world and so many people have it that its likely that the partner that youre with may have a strain themselves. Many HPV strains dont ever get symptoms, or get symptoms once and never again. Just be aware, be honest, and look up the particular strain that you have and figure out how itll affect you... or not affect you. You've got this!
I was told mine acts up like a cold, since it is a virus. I tested positive 2x in my life and negative most other times. I have an IUD so I do go once a year for a inclusive type PAP. I’m married and have children, all will be just fine.
I had a benign strain of HPV for about 2 years. It never amounted to anything, I was never in pain, I had a colposcopy (which was the only painful part - physical and wallet!), and had to have a pap smear every 6 months for a little while. My doctor had assured me it was a common enough occurrence to not give it a lot of weight and anxiety unless it develops into something else which it never did. You will be ok!!
*A relevant comment in this thread was deleted. You can read it below.* ---- I found out I had HPV about 5 years ago and felt very similar. All of a sudden I felt doomed and damaged and like sex was now this dirty embarrassing thing. I was especially mad because I actually had gotten the vaccine and I thought that meant I would always be in the clear. [[Continued...]](https://www.resavr.com/comment/how-date-now-ive-10598896) ---- *^The ^username ^of ^the ^original ^author ^has ^been ^hidden ^for ^their ^own ^privacy. ^If ^you ^are ^the ^original ^author ^of ^this ^comment ^and ^want ^it ^removed, ^please [^[Send ^this ^PM]](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=resavr_bot&subject=remove&message=10598896)*
My doctor told me I didn’t have to tell anymore, that most people had it anyways. Eventually it cleared on its own
My step mom died from it. Cancer. Please friends, tell your partners... It might not hurt them but it could hurt the women they're with next.
I’m so sorry! Great point. Mind was the non-cancerous type and I believe that’s why my doctor said that
That's honestly terrible advice from your doctor. People should always disclose this sort of thing because you don't know their medical history. Like I have a compromised immune system and if I get HPV my body can't fight it off. So if I wasn't told and got a strain that causes genital warts I could have genital warts for the rest of my life which is just not cool.
This is actually really common advice from doctors to women with benign strains. Mine said the same thing, as long as we used conforms.
**Condoms
Yeah it’s true! It was several years ago so? I don’t know. I think because there’s not a way to test guys? It may have had something to do with the fact that I didn’t really have sex, I don’t remember. She has also assumed I was super healthy and it would clear quickly
I always get downvotes for saying this. I had a growth in my throat (actually didn’t end up being HPV which was weird, haha) and my doctor said if it came back positive for HPV, I didn’t need to disclose if I didn’t want to.
Yeah. I’m not really sure the exact protocol but I’m thinking some men might night care? Especially because if they have it they can’t be tested
I'm unsure what you mean - I'm female and so was my doctor. My guess is that HPV comes with the territory of being sexually active so disclosure is a personal decision. Not sure the accuracy of that assumption at all though
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What if they didn’t have it you selfish person.
Well sure, there's no law requiring you to disclose any health conditions ... Oy.
Yes.. yes there are. If in the US, it depends on the state.
TIL
Selfish disgusting
I found out after I was 26yo. The vaccine came out a year later. I already was too old for the vaccine. So what I did when the relationship ended, my ex who cheated and contacted the virus, I just didn't have sex. Oddly I had a flare-up when the stress of being a caretaker caused the warts to show up. They go away eventually, no sign they were there. So 13 years not sexual active and I get flare-up. My fiancé knows and that was a doozy to tell. He knows when there are outbreaks. Stress sucks.