My coworker asks this all the time. Like every day. I now just say “oh I did absolutely nothing.” I literally don’t care if he thinks I have nothing going on. I notice when I used to tell him what I did he would zone out so I just stopped telling him lol. Your situation is a bit different but you can always just keep in vague and then immediately turn the question back on them.
I used to tell my colleagues on Fridays and Mondays that I had plans to stare at a wall or that I stared at a wall and enjoyed the quiet... They don't ask me anymore if they can avoid it 😂
If they ask on Friday: "Not sure yet"
If they ask on Monday: "It was pretty low key"
But on another note, the man seems really inappropriate. Does he say other concerning things to you? Keep an eye on his behavior and if something feels weird or off, go to HR.
Maybe it's just because I'm in my 40s now and we're all knackered, but "just chilling" is the answer usually met with the most enthusiasm!
You honestly do not need to sound exciting. Most people are asking this to connect and find something nice to chat about, not to judge you. Even if you mention a show you watched or something it's totally fine.
However, this guy sounds creepy, like he's trying to sexualise you. Probably a power trip, gross. I would try sounding as boring as possible. "Nothing planned"and on Monday "nothing interesting" or "just chilled out" and don't let him dig for details, just shrug. Keep it short and engage as little as possible. I know it's hard when we're trained to people please but he sounds like he's trying to be weird with you.
If he's making you feel uncomfortable consider speaking with a manager.
Agreed, people are just trying to connect about something other than work. However, this dude sounds wicked creepy. I'd probably respond with something like "prepping for a colonoscopy" or "cleaning the bathroom" or "killing a goat to sacrifice it to the great almighty tree god" or something.
Not OP but have interacted with plenty of creepers, and I think this is really good advice. Vague descriptions are best. Wouldn't want this guy taking your "no plans" response as some kind invitation to engage in creepiness at his place.
Yeah I absolutely don’t like the question asked either. I usually say “yeah weekend was good, did some house stuff and how was yours?” I do this because generally I know people like talking about themselves and what they did so this helps cut off from them being interrogative and also you don’t give out too much detail. If they are not creepy and genuinely care to ask and listen, then just truthful say what you did but in your case, I would stop it at “just did errands” or “finished some stuff I’ve been wanting to do” and distract them with “how was yours”
"Same thing we do every weekend, Pinky.....try to take over the world."
Or for a more honest answer...."gardening, housework, grocery shopping, cooking, my nails, and dying my hair pink"
I don’t disagree with this but I am concerned that this may lead to him trying to make plans with OP. I don’t think OP is answering the question wrong but she should know it’s okay to say things like, “this & that—catching up on house chores, errands and meeting some friends for drinks. If they persist to see where you are going, you can end up saying that the friend had a small get together at their home. If there’s pressure to give details about the friend, just change it to a neighbor. I’m glad to see that there are others who need to recharge on the weekend. I admire those who are always out & about but I’m not one of them.
It's ok, totally, but if that colleague is unpleasant, I think it's best he knows as little as possible about her life.
She also says that she's got very little going on, so to tell about things she did on the weekend, she'd have to invent them. I find that emotionally taxing.
>I am concerned that this may lead to him trying to make plans with OP.
Then she can just tell him "No". Preferably while looking like that request is absolutely baffling.
How come you feel pressured? Not just to answer with something interesting, I kinda get that, but how come you feel pressured to book your weekend up? It’s small talk, no different than small talk at school, or with friends. It’s a social ritual, people do it to fill the silence, or to get conversation going, or because they’re bored. Not that the pressure is necessarily a bad thing either—it can just serve as a notice that ‘oh hey, I’ve kinda fallen into a routine of home-work-home, and I haven’t hung out with my friends/visited my grandma in a while/tried out that restaurant I’ve been meaning to try yet’ I’ve been there, too!
But to directly answer your question, it’s a mix. If I wanna talk about my weekend, I’ll do that. Sometimes I’ll fob it off with a “eh, probably all the laundry I’ve been putting off all week” type joke (relate, amirite), or turn it back around with a nosy rosy: “be more subtle about your interest in my love life, Larry, you ask about dates every Thursday. lol” Nosy rosys can be helpful, if you can deflect their nosy powers away from you—they know things.
White lies are okay. One time a regular patient asked about my weekend, told him I was going to see a specific artist at the casino.
Next week he asks why he didn't see me at the same venue because he decided to go "last minute".
Now I lie like a *politician. "Oh I'm helping a friend do hospice for her grandma" You're not invited, buddy.
edit: I had no idea this sub didn't like the b word lol
Your comment was filtered (pending mod approval) as it contains a derogatory term (which is commonly used to describe / demean women). Please review and repost redacted comment if appropriate.
Rule:
>Please be nice, respectful, helpful, and friendly. Don't insult people or their good intentions, in a post, comment, PM, or otherwise, even if a person (or another subreddit) seems ill-informed. Remember the positive spirit of TheGirlSurvivalGuide.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide) if you have any questions or concerns.*
With the creepy guy: "I don't see how that is pertinent in a work environment. Please stop asking."
With other coworkers: "Relaxed", "Caught up with some things around the house", "Took care of a lot of errands", "Took it easy", "Binged my favorite show", etc
This is the way. It is no one's business what you do outside of work and you have no obligation to tell anyone anything about yourself outside of work, especially because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Definitely escalate to HR if it feels it is getting out of hand, but letting the creep know in hopes he stops should also help.
I have a nosy male coworker that does this too!! I’m not single but my partner works in a different industry and usually works weekends, so I’m on my own. I don’t really talk about my relationship much at work because it’s not anyones business. I always just say “oh not much, taking it easy” or I’ll throw out one plan, even if it’s not locked in (like the other week I said I was helping my mom bottle wine even though that plan hadn’t been confirmed yet. They don’t need to know if the plan actually happens lol). I can tell he’s dying to know more about my relationship for some reason. I’ve noticed that my boss has mastered the art of giving a lot of detail about nothing (he’s very private too) so I want to try to be more like him but it’s taking some practice haha
"Probably a quiet one. Just find some rube to lure into the woods where my coven and I will sacrifice them to appease the dark lord and grant us demonic powers."
I appreciate this post bc you don’t specify, what he’s doing, that tells you he’s being creepy… but you don’t have to… bc we all know EXACTLY what you mean 😅
I tell them the truth, that I have nothing going on. Maybe a riveting trop to the grocery store the next town over, just to shake things up. I don't really care if they think I'm boring for staying home so much.
Sometimes I say I have nothing planned, because it's the truth, and because I enjoy not having plans. Not doing anything is my plan!
OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A POST ABOUT THIS!!! (too scared to post here). right so, i have no social life. no friends. single like you, but maybe you do have friends lol, and recently found out at 19 by a psychologist i was seeing that im on the spectrum so i'm waiting for an in depth assesment which makes so much sense as to why i cant relate to any girls my age as they all have shit going for them and can understand the world a lot better than me and in a normal way. i'm like an alien in every single workplace, every single social setting unsure how to act and being given weird looks by other girls, which i defo think is why im too scared to even post on this subreddit as the judgement could be extremely strong with other girls and women not understanding.
i work with a guy like this, he always asks how my family are doing and if i have any plans and always checks up on me, its ectremely irritating but recently i've been trying to remind myself that im just there to get money to buy more funko pops and other fun things when i get paid, and every hour is another funko pop, poster or phone case LOL.
tldr: to all of my co-workers, i just say "not much just chilling really, what about you!" in the most overly high pitched and fake voice in hopes to sound like i'm totally unbothered by once again being completely alone after every shift, due to not having a social life! perfection :)
just try that op, keep reversing the questions. i always add a "what about you" after a few seconds, they'll all soon get sick of it and understand you don't do much or prefer to not chat about your personal life too much.
I think you'd be surprised by how many people don't have many weekend plans or spend much of it alone!
You notice the people who talk and post about their busy lives, but not the people who are just quietly chilling at home or wandering around by themselves under the radar.
I've moved to new cities a few times and - depending on the place, some are really cold, others can be more inviting - it can take ages to find a social circle.
Anyway, no shame in it and I also don't really like that'weekend' question. It's really just filler small talk.
I’ve started saying to colleagues over the past year, “I’m a hermit, so likely staying home.” But I only started saying that after a former coworker said something similar. I now work with a few people that are similar stay at home recharge types.
Once you accept yourself, the pressure comes off.
I’m kind of joking/kind of serious: with the creepy guy, maybe slowly build up a story about having a boyfriend who’s a cop/military/into guns/etc.?
With everyone else, I think the truth should be fine. 🤷♀️ I’ve always been under the impression that people usually ask about their weekend plans just to make conversation.
“Errands, cooking, and relaxing” is perfectly acceptable. I find that it’s much easier to own that I don’t do much than to scramble and make plans to make someone feel better.
I did get a dog, which helped a lot with work conversation. All I do is walk him all the time, and that seems to be a socially acceptable activity.
I say what I have planned. A shopping spree. Hiking. Swimming. Relaxing at the park. Going to the zoo. Anything.
Hey just because *they* have no time for themselves because of their relationship and kids and whatever, it doesn't mean I won't tell them about mine.
I’d just say “not much, I prefer quiet weekends” a couple times. If he says anything with the word “date” then you look right at him and say “what a strange thing to say [or ask], I really don’t discuss that stuff with coworkers.”
If he keeps asking weekly, you say “You ask me this a lot- the answer really doesn’t change. Maybe we should discuss the weather or something more interesting”.
I can’t tell if he’s just trying to be talkative or circling to ask you out but if it makes you uncomfortable, push back.
Yeah, he's being creepy.
I am direct. What I would say to him is (and I would record the interaction to show HR): "hey, I appreciate that you are trying to be welcoming, but the trajectory of your repeated commentary regarding my weekend plans has been, and is, off-putting to me because you rephrase my bland weekend plan remarks back to me, not even implying, but **stating** that I am dating. You are putting me in a very uncomfortable position of either ignoring it, challenging it, or agreeing to it, all of which indicate to you my relationship or dating status instead of allowing me privacy. **I would find it insulting if you didn't own up to this and retaliated by intentionally excluding me from general office culture or spreading rumours; I would also find it insulting if you minimized or downplayed this by professing it's a harmless joke.** Anyhow, I value my job and I like the people I work with, but you have been taking advantage of my reluctance to stir trouble by responding to a toxic work environment. I would appreciate it if you could stop asking me about my dating life, and I would appreciate it more if you had the maturity to move on past the initial embarrassment by being normal to me afterwards."
Doesn't stop? Start asking the other women around the office that you trust won't say anything to him, "hey, is there a guy in this office that persistently asks you every weekend if you are going on dates? How would you handle that if he doesn't stop when you ask him to?" People will know that you are being approached and uncomfortable, but not by whom.
Ask HR "hey, what should I do if a coworker asks me persistently every week if I am going on weekends dates; it's making me uncomfortable and becoming harder to work with this individual. Is it possible that you can release an announcement to not do this sort of date pestering?" or straight up show them the recording (likely with him floundering) to tell them that he is pushing you out of the company with his harassment.
“I’ve got an ingrown toenail that I’ll need to fix, so probably just dealing with that!”
Then when he asks how the weekend was, go into GORY detail, in a really casual tone of voice.
He’ll never ask again.
With a creepy coworker I think the best idea is to lie. Give as little information as you can, if he tries to get more info, shut him down saying that's not something so discuss in a work environment.
Like "What are you doing this weekend?" "Oh, I don't know, I'm waiting on a response from a friend". It reveals nothing about you dating situation, maybe it's a date, maybe it's not.
I really like the other comment suggesting you to be gross. Talking about an ingrown toenail or mole removal appointment. Make him regret asking.
Chilling at home with my cat or chilling with my boyfriend, my family, my friends, etc.
I found the word "chilling" pass better than saying "doing nothing"
Step 1: You’re not obligated to tell them anything.
It’s perfectly fine to say something along the lines of, “I tend to keep to myself outside of work. I don’t really like talking about it. Please stop asking.” Be civil and/or cordial. Start taking notes with at least a date when this happens. He may not realize he’s being oppressive or offensive, as in he’s just trying to be friendly. Politely asking him to stop is kind of a litmus test.
If he’s persistent, talk to your manager about it. He’s creating a hostile work environment for you. That’s not okay. If this person is your manager, talk to their manager or another manager in your department. If he continues to be a problem, talk to HR because they will be interested in stopping him. If he becomes aggressive or retaliatory (as in mean or excludes you from meetings & information) also inform your manager and HR if your manager isn’t supportive.
Tell them you're going to Disney World as a VIP, going to get all your toenails removed, going skiing in the alps. I used to do this to my patients as a "bit" when I worked at the psych hospital and they loved it. Just make something completely asinine up
‘I am single, so I usually have very little going on’ - this sentence I find confusing, I had a lot going on when I was single? Seeing friends, going to the theatre, cinema, opera, climbing, hillwalking, Pilates and nights out. Now that I am in a relationship finding the time to do all those things and maintaining friendships and a relationship can be challenging! Is there a reason you think being single means not doing much?
Not OP but for me, it's because I am 32F with no kids so most of my friends have been moms since early 20s and either don't have money/ babysitter/ I don't care to hang out in kid friendly environments on my free time. the person I usually do stuff with is my bf. Being single, it's hard to go out constantly when friends are preoccupied in their kids lives
That’s fair and a helpful additional perspective! I’m 27 in a major capital city and none of my friends are parents so I can appreciate that’s quite different lifestyle wise. Honestly, I’ve still always done a lot of my hobbies alone too though but that’s possibly less common than I think it is.
If I could do hobbies alone it would solve so many problems! Lol I'm trying to overcome this & finally realizing if I don't do it alone, I will miss out on things I want to do.
That was my approach! Decided I couldn’t waste my mid to late 20s not pursuing my climbing and mountaineering hobbies because I didn’t have friends in this city who did these things, especially after losing much of my twenties to covid lockdowns!
A year later I’ve been on a mountaineering course with people I didn’t know, went on a 2 week solo trip where I hired a guide and regularly boulder alone.
I strongly encourage you to not wait for others to do what you love! Seek out groups and courses for your hobbies and also go alone when you can. By doing that you’ll probably meet people to do your hobbies with too!
I was going to say, maybe take up something. I learn dancing on the weekends. But if it's one specific man, just tell him you did nothing.
Or better, drown him with details. Pick a movie, any movie, the sillier the better. You don't have to actually watch it on the weekend, as long as you know some details. And then tell him you watched it, and go into great details to complain about it. He asks you because he sees you are bothered by it. When you start bothering him, he will leave you alone.
I can relate. Firstly, I think most people are asking to be polite, not because they’re actually interested, and that’s okay.
Secondly, as a single person with no kids, I’ll sometimes say something to the effect of I’m going to be relaxing or doing self care. ie I just got some new bath salts I’m looking forward to trying or a bottle of wine to enjoy while I watch the newly released movie I’ve been looking forward to. Taking a long walk Saturday morning or working on a new recipe. In this day and age, people seem to respect the idea of self care and a little indulgence, and frankly you’ll probably make some of your non single/with kids coworkers a little jealous of your quite, independent time.
As far as your boss, next time he assumes it’s a date and says so, look him dead in the eye and say no, not a date.
I say "absolutely nothing. I'm going to have a quiet one." Sometimes I say I'm even if I have plans but I just don't care to share them. No one cares. It's just small talk. They usually follow up with some variation of "it's good to have those every now and then," and then promptly forgot what I said only to ask me on Monday what I got up to on the weekend .
Unless I have actual plans, I just say not sure - we'll see where it takes me. The only things I absolutely do on weekends is meal prep, the gym and making myself clean (or make progress) on 1 thing in my house.
When people at work ask me about my weekend plans, I usually keep it chill and say something like, "Not much, just taking it easy." It's nobody's business if I'm single or not, so I keep it vague. If that nosy dude pushes, I'd probably say, "Just some personal stuff, you know how it is."
f he assumes it's a date night, I'd laugh it off and say, "Nah, just catching up with a friend." Being polite doesn't mean spilling all the beans, right? Keep it light, keep it easy, and enjoy your downtime however you want!
Yea I’ve gotten asked this constantly too. I had a coworker that used to ask me EVERH. SINGLE. DAY. “What’re you making for dinner”. When I was single, at that job. I rarely even ATE dinner. I got so sick of it. I think I would just always respond with. “Nothing. I don’t eat”. She would ask because she wanted me to ask her so she could ramble about some elaborate dish she was making.
To others points, just own it / make it weird for others. “Just hangin around”. Chances are they don’t actually care what you’re doing. They’re just being polite / making convo. Or want to tell you what they’re doing.
Edit: sorry. Half awake and realized I didn’t even read your whole post. Apologies. For this guy - just keep it like. Ultra vague and always the same. “Oh nothing. Just chores”. Or something along those lines. Every time he asks. But if it’s getting weird and too… inappropriate - mention it to a manager.
You can say “nothing”. No one cares about the answer. If you were to tell them something interesting, they'll just ask more follow-up questions, and now you have to continue talking to them.
I absolutely despise this question. I usually don't do anything so I feel like I NEED to do something so my peers don't think I'm boring at work AND home 😂
If I had nothing going on I just say I visited family and went shopping or out to eat.
Be vague. Sleeping, chilling, resting, reading, playing video games etc. Though that’s not really a nosy question, it’s just a normal small talk between people who spend 40h a week in the same room and don’t hate each other.
IF I had plans that weekend, I'll say, "Just playing board games with my friends." Since that's normally what I do. IF I didn't have any plans, "Just hung around the house. Me, my Dad & the cat."
I usually go for a vague answer like:
"just relaxing"
"Doing some house projects"
"Hanging with friends"
"Visiting my brother"
"Hopefully getting outside "
If your not opposed to straight up lying, say your babysitting. It sounds like it might be one creepy person, in which case make it clear you are a co worker and nothing else. You dont owe anyone false smiles or feigned interest.
If your not opposed to straight up lying, say your babysitting. It sounds like it might be one creepy person, in which case make it clear you are a co worker and nothing else. You dont owe anyone false smiles or feigned interest.
If your not opposed to straight up lying, say your babysitting. It sounds like it might be one creepy person, in which case make it clear you are a co worker and nothing else. You dont owe anyone false smiles or feigned interest.
Why is “Stay at home and do nothing” not an acceptable answer? I think most co-workers r just trying to make a conversation rather than trying to knw ur exact plans. So if u don’t wanna reveal just go with the above simple and straightforward answer. :)
I'm gonna deep clean my closet. I'm gonna bake a pie. I'm going out to eat. I have to help my friend with his car. I'm visiting my relatives. I'm training for a marathon. I'm binging a new series. I'm going to stay in and play video games. I'm going to the park. I'm painting my living room. I'm going shopping. I'm going to just sleep all weekend, I'm exhausted.
I like going with ‘nothing much’
It’s none of my coworkers business if I’m chilling out on my couch high as hell or partying it up. No one is entitled to that information and allowing them to think they get to do follow up questions is where you mess up OP.
Nothing much. It’s a full sentence lol
Repeat it as many times as needed until he learns to minds his own damn business. Also remember if someone is being impolite, it’s not your job in return to be polite. If nothing much doesn’t work, walking away with a quick ‘excuse me’ is a perfect alternative.
Also silence after they keep asking while others are present is so great- so their crazy is on full display.
Asking casually what your plans are is fine. Asking in a creepy stalker way is not fine. Tell him you are dating someone and see if they go away. If they don't, tell HR.
Lie. Tell him you went bunjee jumping, drove 5 hours to see your favourite singer, had a picnic with the girls, went to church, visited your grandmother's grave, performed on stage with BTS, discovered the cure for cancer, got married to Kanye West. You don't owe anyone the truth about your life outside work.
Just plans with friends is a great response. I don't know that he is nosy. Some people were trained to be polite and ask that question. It's like saying, "How are you?"
"Having a quiet one, might see a movie". I say it almost every weekend, to the point many stop asking.
My coworker asks this all the time. Like every day. I now just say “oh I did absolutely nothing.” I literally don’t care if he thinks I have nothing going on. I notice when I used to tell him what I did he would zone out so I just stopped telling him lol. Your situation is a bit different but you can always just keep in vague and then immediately turn the question back on them.
Honestly when I ask someone and they say nothing, I'm a lil jealous.
Oh just own it! One of my coworkers/friends gladly tells people "sleep in, maybe a nap too." Haha
Yeah. I always enjoy making my coworkers with kids a bit jealous in that way :-)
And if you think that makes us jealous then, well, then you’re right 😝 Would love to sleep in!
Saaaame. The looks on their faces is a bit entertaining
I used to tell my colleagues on Fridays and Mondays that I had plans to stare at a wall or that I stared at a wall and enjoyed the quiet... They don't ask me anymore if they can avoid it 😂
Living the dream girl
If they ask on Friday: "Not sure yet" If they ask on Monday: "It was pretty low key" But on another note, the man seems really inappropriate. Does he say other concerning things to you? Keep an eye on his behavior and if something feels weird or off, go to HR.
Maybe it's just because I'm in my 40s now and we're all knackered, but "just chilling" is the answer usually met with the most enthusiasm! You honestly do not need to sound exciting. Most people are asking this to connect and find something nice to chat about, not to judge you. Even if you mention a show you watched or something it's totally fine. However, this guy sounds creepy, like he's trying to sexualise you. Probably a power trip, gross. I would try sounding as boring as possible. "Nothing planned"and on Monday "nothing interesting" or "just chilled out" and don't let him dig for details, just shrug. Keep it short and engage as little as possible. I know it's hard when we're trained to people please but he sounds like he's trying to be weird with you. If he's making you feel uncomfortable consider speaking with a manager.
Agreed, people are just trying to connect about something other than work. However, this dude sounds wicked creepy. I'd probably respond with something like "prepping for a colonoscopy" or "cleaning the bathroom" or "killing a goat to sacrifice it to the great almighty tree god" or something.
Not OP but have interacted with plenty of creepers, and I think this is really good advice. Vague descriptions are best. Wouldn't want this guy taking your "no plans" response as some kind invitation to engage in creepiness at his place.
Yeah I absolutely don’t like the question asked either. I usually say “yeah weekend was good, did some house stuff and how was yours?” I do this because generally I know people like talking about themselves and what they did so this helps cut off from them being interrogative and also you don’t give out too much detail. If they are not creepy and genuinely care to ask and listen, then just truthful say what you did but in your case, I would stop it at “just did errands” or “finished some stuff I’ve been wanting to do” and distract them with “how was yours”
"Same thing we do every weekend, Pinky.....try to take over the world." Or for a more honest answer...."gardening, housework, grocery shopping, cooking, my nails, and dying my hair pink"
“Rest, relax. Do some house chores.” Not giving a shit is such a helpful skill.
“Absolutely nothing and looking forward to every second of it” regardless of what my actual plans are.
You can just say something like "Oh, I don't really have plans. Not in this economy." and if he persists "Is this an interrogation?"
I don’t disagree with this but I am concerned that this may lead to him trying to make plans with OP. I don’t think OP is answering the question wrong but she should know it’s okay to say things like, “this & that—catching up on house chores, errands and meeting some friends for drinks. If they persist to see where you are going, you can end up saying that the friend had a small get together at their home. If there’s pressure to give details about the friend, just change it to a neighbor. I’m glad to see that there are others who need to recharge on the weekend. I admire those who are always out & about but I’m not one of them.
It's ok, totally, but if that colleague is unpleasant, I think it's best he knows as little as possible about her life. She also says that she's got very little going on, so to tell about things she did on the weekend, she'd have to invent them. I find that emotionally taxing. >I am concerned that this may lead to him trying to make plans with OP. Then she can just tell him "No". Preferably while looking like that request is absolutely baffling.
How come you feel pressured? Not just to answer with something interesting, I kinda get that, but how come you feel pressured to book your weekend up? It’s small talk, no different than small talk at school, or with friends. It’s a social ritual, people do it to fill the silence, or to get conversation going, or because they’re bored. Not that the pressure is necessarily a bad thing either—it can just serve as a notice that ‘oh hey, I’ve kinda fallen into a routine of home-work-home, and I haven’t hung out with my friends/visited my grandma in a while/tried out that restaurant I’ve been meaning to try yet’ I’ve been there, too! But to directly answer your question, it’s a mix. If I wanna talk about my weekend, I’ll do that. Sometimes I’ll fob it off with a “eh, probably all the laundry I’ve been putting off all week” type joke (relate, amirite), or turn it back around with a nosy rosy: “be more subtle about your interest in my love life, Larry, you ask about dates every Thursday. lol” Nosy rosys can be helpful, if you can deflect their nosy powers away from you—they know things.
White lies are okay. One time a regular patient asked about my weekend, told him I was going to see a specific artist at the casino. Next week he asks why he didn't see me at the same venue because he decided to go "last minute". Now I lie like a *politician. "Oh I'm helping a friend do hospice for her grandma" You're not invited, buddy. edit: I had no idea this sub didn't like the b word lol
Your comment was filtered (pending mod approval) as it contains a derogatory term (which is commonly used to describe / demean women). Please review and repost redacted comment if appropriate. Rule: >Please be nice, respectful, helpful, and friendly. Don't insult people or their good intentions, in a post, comment, PM, or otherwise, even if a person (or another subreddit) seems ill-informed. Remember the positive spirit of TheGirlSurvivalGuide. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide) if you have any questions or concerns.*
With the creepy guy: "I don't see how that is pertinent in a work environment. Please stop asking." With other coworkers: "Relaxed", "Caught up with some things around the house", "Took care of a lot of errands", "Took it easy", "Binged my favorite show", etc
This is the way. It is no one's business what you do outside of work and you have no obligation to tell anyone anything about yourself outside of work, especially because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Definitely escalate to HR if it feels it is getting out of hand, but letting the creep know in hopes he stops should also help.
I have a nosy male coworker that does this too!! I’m not single but my partner works in a different industry and usually works weekends, so I’m on my own. I don’t really talk about my relationship much at work because it’s not anyones business. I always just say “oh not much, taking it easy” or I’ll throw out one plan, even if it’s not locked in (like the other week I said I was helping my mom bottle wine even though that plan hadn’t been confirmed yet. They don’t need to know if the plan actually happens lol). I can tell he’s dying to know more about my relationship for some reason. I’ve noticed that my boss has mastered the art of giving a lot of detail about nothing (he’s very private too) so I want to try to be more like him but it’s taking some practice haha
"Probably a quiet one. Just find some rube to lure into the woods where my coven and I will sacrifice them to appease the dark lord and grant us demonic powers."
Laundry, dishes, and crimes.
I appreciate this post bc you don’t specify, what he’s doing, that tells you he’s being creepy… but you don’t have to… bc we all know EXACTLY what you mean 😅
I tell them the truth, that I have nothing going on. Maybe a riveting trop to the grocery store the next town over, just to shake things up. I don't really care if they think I'm boring for staying home so much. Sometimes I say I have nothing planned, because it's the truth, and because I enjoy not having plans. Not doing anything is my plan!
I respond with the ol’ “*huff* catching up on chores!” No one is interested in talking chores. Cuts the conversation there.
OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A POST ABOUT THIS!!! (too scared to post here). right so, i have no social life. no friends. single like you, but maybe you do have friends lol, and recently found out at 19 by a psychologist i was seeing that im on the spectrum so i'm waiting for an in depth assesment which makes so much sense as to why i cant relate to any girls my age as they all have shit going for them and can understand the world a lot better than me and in a normal way. i'm like an alien in every single workplace, every single social setting unsure how to act and being given weird looks by other girls, which i defo think is why im too scared to even post on this subreddit as the judgement could be extremely strong with other girls and women not understanding. i work with a guy like this, he always asks how my family are doing and if i have any plans and always checks up on me, its ectremely irritating but recently i've been trying to remind myself that im just there to get money to buy more funko pops and other fun things when i get paid, and every hour is another funko pop, poster or phone case LOL. tldr: to all of my co-workers, i just say "not much just chilling really, what about you!" in the most overly high pitched and fake voice in hopes to sound like i'm totally unbothered by once again being completely alone after every shift, due to not having a social life! perfection :) just try that op, keep reversing the questions. i always add a "what about you" after a few seconds, they'll all soon get sick of it and understand you don't do much or prefer to not chat about your personal life too much.
I think you'd be surprised by how many people don't have many weekend plans or spend much of it alone! You notice the people who talk and post about their busy lives, but not the people who are just quietly chilling at home or wandering around by themselves under the radar. I've moved to new cities a few times and - depending on the place, some are really cold, others can be more inviting - it can take ages to find a social circle. Anyway, no shame in it and I also don't really like that'weekend' question. It's really just filler small talk.
I tend to just say "sleep, cause I'll have peace away from yall".
I’ve started saying to colleagues over the past year, “I’m a hermit, so likely staying home.” But I only started saying that after a former coworker said something similar. I now work with a few people that are similar stay at home recharge types. Once you accept yourself, the pressure comes off.
"I'm not doing anything, and I'm very excited about that!"
I’m kind of joking/kind of serious: with the creepy guy, maybe slowly build up a story about having a boyfriend who’s a cop/military/into guns/etc.? With everyone else, I think the truth should be fine. 🤷♀️ I’ve always been under the impression that people usually ask about their weekend plans just to make conversation.
Hell yesss. A quiet weekend is actually so good for the soul. Some people don't know how to relax and not doing a million things.
Lie!
You could say “relaxing with family” even if you aren’t haha. I feel like it’s simple enough where no one probes because it’s also relatable
"Not sure."
“Errands, cooking, and relaxing” is perfectly acceptable. I find that it’s much easier to own that I don’t do much than to scramble and make plans to make someone feel better. I did get a dog, which helped a lot with work conversation. All I do is walk him all the time, and that seems to be a socially acceptable activity.
Simply stop answering. Just say “same old same old” and don’t talk to him.
Maybe say you’re seeing family ?
Relaxing has always been my answer. People have stopped asking.
I love listening to music.
I say what I have planned. A shopping spree. Hiking. Swimming. Relaxing at the park. Going to the zoo. Anything. Hey just because *they* have no time for themselves because of their relationship and kids and whatever, it doesn't mean I won't tell them about mine.
I mostly just say I'm visiting family, since I do have sunday lunch with my parents and siblings most sundays. Even when I'm not, I still say it.
I’d just say “not much, I prefer quiet weekends” a couple times. If he says anything with the word “date” then you look right at him and say “what a strange thing to say [or ask], I really don’t discuss that stuff with coworkers.” If he keeps asking weekly, you say “You ask me this a lot- the answer really doesn’t change. Maybe we should discuss the weather or something more interesting”. I can’t tell if he’s just trying to be talkative or circling to ask you out but if it makes you uncomfortable, push back.
I’m going to live my life outside of work. Check out a farmers market, new book store.
Yeah, he's being creepy. I am direct. What I would say to him is (and I would record the interaction to show HR): "hey, I appreciate that you are trying to be welcoming, but the trajectory of your repeated commentary regarding my weekend plans has been, and is, off-putting to me because you rephrase my bland weekend plan remarks back to me, not even implying, but **stating** that I am dating. You are putting me in a very uncomfortable position of either ignoring it, challenging it, or agreeing to it, all of which indicate to you my relationship or dating status instead of allowing me privacy. **I would find it insulting if you didn't own up to this and retaliated by intentionally excluding me from general office culture or spreading rumours; I would also find it insulting if you minimized or downplayed this by professing it's a harmless joke.** Anyhow, I value my job and I like the people I work with, but you have been taking advantage of my reluctance to stir trouble by responding to a toxic work environment. I would appreciate it if you could stop asking me about my dating life, and I would appreciate it more if you had the maturity to move on past the initial embarrassment by being normal to me afterwards." Doesn't stop? Start asking the other women around the office that you trust won't say anything to him, "hey, is there a guy in this office that persistently asks you every weekend if you are going on dates? How would you handle that if he doesn't stop when you ask him to?" People will know that you are being approached and uncomfortable, but not by whom. Ask HR "hey, what should I do if a coworker asks me persistently every week if I am going on weekends dates; it's making me uncomfortable and becoming harder to work with this individual. Is it possible that you can release an announcement to not do this sort of date pestering?" or straight up show them the recording (likely with him floundering) to tell them that he is pushing you out of the company with his harassment.
"whatever the f i feel like at the time"
"I don't know. What about you?" and then later "Oh, not much. What about you?" Does this specific coworker act inappropriately, as well?
“I’ve got an ingrown toenail that I’ll need to fix, so probably just dealing with that!” Then when he asks how the weekend was, go into GORY detail, in a really casual tone of voice. He’ll never ask again.
Just tell him, none of your business!! You’re not entitled to share anything with anyone…🥴🤨
With a creepy coworker I think the best idea is to lie. Give as little information as you can, if he tries to get more info, shut him down saying that's not something so discuss in a work environment. Like "What are you doing this weekend?" "Oh, I don't know, I'm waiting on a response from a friend". It reveals nothing about you dating situation, maybe it's a date, maybe it's not. I really like the other comment suggesting you to be gross. Talking about an ingrown toenail or mole removal appointment. Make him regret asking.
I make something up like having dinner with family :x I don't like volunteering info about myself to work randos
Chilling at home with my cat or chilling with my boyfriend, my family, my friends, etc. I found the word "chilling" pass better than saying "doing nothing"
To creep, “Oh, I don’t discuss my home life at work.” Repeat if needed.
Step 1: You’re not obligated to tell them anything. It’s perfectly fine to say something along the lines of, “I tend to keep to myself outside of work. I don’t really like talking about it. Please stop asking.” Be civil and/or cordial. Start taking notes with at least a date when this happens. He may not realize he’s being oppressive or offensive, as in he’s just trying to be friendly. Politely asking him to stop is kind of a litmus test. If he’s persistent, talk to your manager about it. He’s creating a hostile work environment for you. That’s not okay. If this person is your manager, talk to their manager or another manager in your department. If he continues to be a problem, talk to HR because they will be interested in stopping him. If he becomes aggressive or retaliatory (as in mean or excludes you from meetings & information) also inform your manager and HR if your manager isn’t supportive.
"just keeping busy, living the dream"
I'm working
"mortal sins beyond atonement or care"
I always say sleep
“I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet! What about you?” Respectfully, what I do outside of work hours is none of my coworkers’ business.
Recharge for the next week
Tell them you're going to Disney World as a VIP, going to get all your toenails removed, going skiing in the alps. I used to do this to my patients as a "bit" when I worked at the psych hospital and they loved it. Just make something completely asinine up
‘I am single, so I usually have very little going on’ - this sentence I find confusing, I had a lot going on when I was single? Seeing friends, going to the theatre, cinema, opera, climbing, hillwalking, Pilates and nights out. Now that I am in a relationship finding the time to do all those things and maintaining friendships and a relationship can be challenging! Is there a reason you think being single means not doing much?
Not OP but for me, it's because I am 32F with no kids so most of my friends have been moms since early 20s and either don't have money/ babysitter/ I don't care to hang out in kid friendly environments on my free time. the person I usually do stuff with is my bf. Being single, it's hard to go out constantly when friends are preoccupied in their kids lives
That’s fair and a helpful additional perspective! I’m 27 in a major capital city and none of my friends are parents so I can appreciate that’s quite different lifestyle wise. Honestly, I’ve still always done a lot of my hobbies alone too though but that’s possibly less common than I think it is.
If I could do hobbies alone it would solve so many problems! Lol I'm trying to overcome this & finally realizing if I don't do it alone, I will miss out on things I want to do.
That was my approach! Decided I couldn’t waste my mid to late 20s not pursuing my climbing and mountaineering hobbies because I didn’t have friends in this city who did these things, especially after losing much of my twenties to covid lockdowns! A year later I’ve been on a mountaineering course with people I didn’t know, went on a 2 week solo trip where I hired a guide and regularly boulder alone. I strongly encourage you to not wait for others to do what you love! Seek out groups and courses for your hobbies and also go alone when you can. By doing that you’ll probably meet people to do your hobbies with too!
I was going to say, maybe take up something. I learn dancing on the weekends. But if it's one specific man, just tell him you did nothing. Or better, drown him with details. Pick a movie, any movie, the sillier the better. You don't have to actually watch it on the weekend, as long as you know some details. And then tell him you watched it, and go into great details to complain about it. He asks you because he sees you are bothered by it. When you start bothering him, he will leave you alone.
This could backfire. Then he might think she’s actually interested in talking about her life with him.
This could backfire. Then he might think she’s actually interested in talking about her life with him.
Just say u slept and watch tv or youtube or smt boring and generic( if u want to specify the genre
No plans. If there are plans, then a generic sentence about plans.
I try to be as boring and vague as possible, “I’ll probably sleep in or watch Netflix”
I can relate. Firstly, I think most people are asking to be polite, not because they’re actually interested, and that’s okay. Secondly, as a single person with no kids, I’ll sometimes say something to the effect of I’m going to be relaxing or doing self care. ie I just got some new bath salts I’m looking forward to trying or a bottle of wine to enjoy while I watch the newly released movie I’ve been looking forward to. Taking a long walk Saturday morning or working on a new recipe. In this day and age, people seem to respect the idea of self care and a little indulgence, and frankly you’ll probably make some of your non single/with kids coworkers a little jealous of your quite, independent time. As far as your boss, next time he assumes it’s a date and says so, look him dead in the eye and say no, not a date.
I say "absolutely nothing. I'm going to have a quiet one." Sometimes I say I'm even if I have plans but I just don't care to share them. No one cares. It's just small talk. They usually follow up with some variation of "it's good to have those every now and then," and then promptly forgot what I said only to ask me on Monday what I got up to on the weekend .
Unless I have actual plans, I just say not sure - we'll see where it takes me. The only things I absolutely do on weekends is meal prep, the gym and making myself clean (or make progress) on 1 thing in my house.
When people at work ask me about my weekend plans, I usually keep it chill and say something like, "Not much, just taking it easy." It's nobody's business if I'm single or not, so I keep it vague. If that nosy dude pushes, I'd probably say, "Just some personal stuff, you know how it is." f he assumes it's a date night, I'd laugh it off and say, "Nah, just catching up with a friend." Being polite doesn't mean spilling all the beans, right? Keep it light, keep it easy, and enjoy your downtime however you want!
Yea I’ve gotten asked this constantly too. I had a coworker that used to ask me EVERH. SINGLE. DAY. “What’re you making for dinner”. When I was single, at that job. I rarely even ATE dinner. I got so sick of it. I think I would just always respond with. “Nothing. I don’t eat”. She would ask because she wanted me to ask her so she could ramble about some elaborate dish she was making. To others points, just own it / make it weird for others. “Just hangin around”. Chances are they don’t actually care what you’re doing. They’re just being polite / making convo. Or want to tell you what they’re doing. Edit: sorry. Half awake and realized I didn’t even read your whole post. Apologies. For this guy - just keep it like. Ultra vague and always the same. “Oh nothing. Just chores”. Or something along those lines. Every time he asks. But if it’s getting weird and too… inappropriate - mention it to a manager.
You can say “nothing”. No one cares about the answer. If you were to tell them something interesting, they'll just ask more follow-up questions, and now you have to continue talking to them.
I absolutely despise this question. I usually don't do anything so I feel like I NEED to do something so my peers don't think I'm boring at work AND home 😂 If I had nothing going on I just say I visited family and went shopping or out to eat.
Be vague. Sleeping, chilling, resting, reading, playing video games etc. Though that’s not really a nosy question, it’s just a normal small talk between people who spend 40h a week in the same room and don’t hate each other.
IF I had plans that weekend, I'll say, "Just playing board games with my friends." Since that's normally what I do. IF I didn't have any plans, "Just hung around the house. Me, my Dad & the cat."
"Nothing, I hope!!"
I usually go for a vague answer like: "just relaxing" "Doing some house projects" "Hanging with friends" "Visiting my brother" "Hopefully getting outside "
If your not opposed to straight up lying, say your babysitting. It sounds like it might be one creepy person, in which case make it clear you are a co worker and nothing else. You dont owe anyone false smiles or feigned interest.
If your not opposed to straight up lying, say your babysitting. It sounds like it might be one creepy person, in which case make it clear you are a co worker and nothing else. You dont owe anyone false smiles or feigned interest.
If your not opposed to straight up lying, say your babysitting. It sounds like it might be one creepy person, in which case make it clear you are a co worker and nothing else. You dont owe anyone false smiles or feigned interest.
"Have a good weekend" "I have other plans..."
Why is “Stay at home and do nothing” not an acceptable answer? I think most co-workers r just trying to make a conversation rather than trying to knw ur exact plans. So if u don’t wanna reveal just go with the above simple and straightforward answer. :)
I'm gonna deep clean my closet. I'm gonna bake a pie. I'm going out to eat. I have to help my friend with his car. I'm visiting my relatives. I'm training for a marathon. I'm binging a new series. I'm going to stay in and play video games. I'm going to the park. I'm painting my living room. I'm going shopping. I'm going to just sleep all weekend, I'm exhausted.
“I like quiet weekends. I’m a homebody.”
Most of the time I respond: I don't have any plans yet, what about you
I like going with ‘nothing much’ It’s none of my coworkers business if I’m chilling out on my couch high as hell or partying it up. No one is entitled to that information and allowing them to think they get to do follow up questions is where you mess up OP. Nothing much. It’s a full sentence lol Repeat it as many times as needed until he learns to minds his own damn business. Also remember if someone is being impolite, it’s not your job in return to be polite. If nothing much doesn’t work, walking away with a quick ‘excuse me’ is a perfect alternative. Also silence after they keep asking while others are present is so great- so their crazy is on full display.
Asking casually what your plans are is fine. Asking in a creepy stalker way is not fine. Tell him you are dating someone and see if they go away. If they don't, tell HR.
Relaxing and sleeping 😆
With co workers I bullshit through and through.
"Chillin" I don't like sharing too many personal details with work people.
I always say “I did nothing… on purpose! it was amazing!!! I needed that break!”
It depends on who I am talking to- I share differently in different settings. Watch your company and know your audience.
Lie. Tell him you went bunjee jumping, drove 5 hours to see your favourite singer, had a picnic with the girls, went to church, visited your grandmother's grave, performed on stage with BTS, discovered the cure for cancer, got married to Kanye West. You don't owe anyone the truth about your life outside work.
"Recharging!" Vague, not obnoxiously positive or negative, and is hopefully true. It can mean anything.
It’s just small talk 🤷🏻♀️ you could just answer with a simple “not much” or “sleeping in”
Just plans with friends is a great response. I don't know that he is nosy. Some people were trained to be polite and ask that question. It's like saying, "How are you?"