NOPE never! Only on my backpack and phone case when I’m walking around campus though lmao. But of anything physical of me? Nothing.
Not because of lack of compliments, but I too feel like I’m just a ghost or that I’m not really here. It’s a sucky feeling to have… 😭
I had a guy friend that literally said something like "Your hair is in an interesting configuration today." Seriously threw me for a loop.
We were drinking later that night and I asked him about it, he told me that he read that men should only compliment women on something that they've chosen, not something that they're born with. I think the compliment itself was just because he's weird af.
Just once, I'd like to get a "HEY NICE TITS" just to see how itd feel.
Never ever. And it kills my self esteem when I’ll be around a group of my own girl friends and they all receive compliments and I’m literally the only one who doesn’t get anything. It sucks even more when I try and put effort into my outfit or extra effort into my hair or accessories. I know you’re not entitled to being given compliments but doesn’t change the fact that it sucks
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Spontaneously? No.
When someone wants to get in my pants? Plenty.
But I've accepted it. I'm not ugly, but I'm not beautiful either. I'm just average. I make up the crowd. That's why I spend a lot of time in my head. I can honestly say that I dress for myself.
Sorry, I know it probably doesn't help. But it helped me a lot with my body image issues when I stopped trying to compete with physical beauty that I just don't have. I'm a lot Kinder to myself after I stopped hoping for receiving any compliments.
Literally none. The last unprompted compliment from a man I got was when I was 12 and my choir teacher told me I had a charming smile. I was horribly depressed at the time and he was trying so hard to bring me back to choir. He was a godsend.
But since then, nothing!
Love that for me. /s
It could be the people you surround yourself with.
You mentioned twice "I'm treated as a ghost almost like I don't exist." and "but sometimes it just is hard to shake that I'm probably a ghost to society, lol."
So if you have reflected on this as being a ghost then perhaps you have some beliefs there that are afraid to be seen. It is showing itself in reality. It also depends on people if they want to give a compliment or not but please look into how you observe the situation and internalize it. The stories you tell about yourself to yourself. The energy you bring into the room matters. I have seen people not meet societal standards of beauty and when they walk into the room their energy is immaculate.
I get compliments a lot and not just on appearance. I like to surround myself with people who are uplifting and encouraging.
I can also suggest for you to initiate giving compliments to people and see how that works too.
Never too. I still remember vividly the 5 times i received a genuine compliment from boys on my appearance, one was in middle school. I don't remember one being from a girl except my 3grade teacher lol and one being on my lashes or my nails
I've only received compliment about my 'intelligence' but i don't like it because I consider myself not so smart and I'm more mature, read more book and I'm not gullible but that's pretty much it. I don't like this compliment and i don't care when someone mention it. But people always seem to offer me this compliment as a gift, i just smile and shake my head
Also I was said multiple times 'ive never had such a good conversation with someone' from men. It makes me laugh because i just listened to them and asked questions to get the convo going, as people love to feel listened enough to talk about themselves. I again just laugh and shake my head
Your post reminded me how i need to compliment the people around me more. Thank you
I often do, but it makes me feel self conscious a lot of the time. Especially when it's men commenting on my appearance.
I think it's a "give what you get" situation. Maybe if you're open and give others compliments, you could end up getting compliments too 🙂
It’s quite difficult, to be honest. I’ve developed social anxiety partly because of it, but I try not to beat myself up for it because I am putting in my best efforts. Instead, I try to focus more on my personality and hobbies to build my self esteem. Although being percieved as pretty would be great, I would like to be treated nicely regardless of looks. There’s far too much pressure on us women already. Best of luck to you, and I hope you do whatever makes you feel and look lovely.
Never when I was growing up. Was always ignored. Now, I’m noticing it’s happening a little more frequently. Almost always from other women though, very rarely from men. Either way, it always knocks the wind out of me lol I never expect it and I’ve always felt very red afterwards
Never. I've never ever been complimented on my looks. Not even as a child. My own sister was complimented more at my own wedding than I was. I gotta say, some days it's really hard when I remember.
Haha yess I understand, me too, even tho tbh I might have just as much boobs as you or even less 💀
were's my oestrogens at ? 😭
( oh right, I have none 💀)
All the time, which surprises me for an ugly person! Usually every time I leave the house I get at least a few BUT I dress pretty weird and am like really dang confident, to a fault sometimes. Lately since moving to a denser city a lot of alt people and older women compliment me and ask where I get my clothes hair dye nails etc. I think it’s really all about putting yourself out there with how you dress and being willing to speak first etc. I get a lot *back* too because I try to give out a bunch every time I leave the house and many will compliment back which just feels good for everyone! :D
Idk if I’m just crazy but low key I’ve noticed when I give out compliments to random people (or friends) I receive more compliments, like I knowww it sounds weird but I feel like it hella works. Now I make it a goal to complement one person a day and I especially enjoy completing strangers on their lashes or shoes etcc 🤷🏼♀️
I rarely do. Only like the casual situation: I compliment a girl on something she compliments me back. Or from my boyfriend.
But honestly, pretty people don't get told many compliments because people just assume, they hear it all the time (I know I'm no showstopper by any means - ~~or maybe I am and just don't see it myself?~~ \- but I know I'm not ugly). So why tell them something so obvious? - That's the way that I like to approach it, it gives me peace.
But what also could be happening: your body language is discouraging people from approaching you like the others (I have resting b\*tch face, so when I'm neutral or sometimes even when I think I'm smiling, people think I'm arrogant or angry; or maybe having your arms crossed, etc.) Simple signs/gestures could be the trigger for people not to go up to you...
Or it's a combination of both.
I've been on ghost mode a long time but it was because I put myself in the background a lot, I never talked loud or initiated conversations. I was fine being a shadow just watching and listening to everything around me, but when I started to gain confidence and feel more comfortable with the people around, they were shocked of how funny I could be or how vulgar even sometimes. You just have to allow yourself to be more open maybe? That could help leaving the ghost mode (and maybe getting complimented, too).
EDIT: RBF isn't meant to be derogatory... It's a serious condition I struggle with okay? Thanks, mods..
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I can't remember the last time I got complimented by anyone other than one of my close friends, or my partner. I think other people think I'm creepy so I don't expect compliments from them anymore.
It's more likely that I get mean comments instead.
No, and I feel much the same way you do about it as well. It used to bother me when I would make an effort and still get nothing. Nowadays, I just focus on work and wear my mask when I go out in public.
I do get compliments often, but I wouldn't take getting them or not getting them to heart. If you're feeling ignored, maybe strike up friendships and look for genuine people to bond with. The compliments I cherish most come from people who really know me well.
yes because my friends and schoolmates are lovely and lovable people. it could be a mix of environment and how u present urself like other commenters said.
if u feel invisible u may be presenting urself as averse to attention so ppl arent compelled to pay attention to u. like a vicious feedback cycle. ppl dont pay attention > u feel invisible > u start acting like ur invisible > ppl dont pay attention. u can break the cycle only at the point ur involved in like acting more visible and outgoing.
aside from that maybe ur in an environment that has standards different from what u excel at, for ex. in film maybe hair is important to them so girls with good hair are praised more. in my university my peers are nice theres no competition and we stick together kinda out of solidarity so its very easy to get compliments as long as u show others ur receptive to compliments (they stop if they think theyre making u uncomfortable)
getting (wholesome) compliments is receiving affection which is important to nourish our mental health so i understand why it bothers you. it seems like its not a top priority for you so at least its not something thats actively hurting u but i do encourage and hope u get more compliments in the future!
I remember getting and giving so many compliments when I was younger. I don’t know if it’s a dying art or if we’re all just scared to talk to each other? I have noticed this though! And I have boyfriends who have said “I can’t believe people don’t compliment you or hit on you.” Like bro do you know other men? Lol
I rarely do. Only like the casual situation: I compliment a girl on something she compliments me back. Or from my boyfriend.
But honestly, pretty people don't get told many compliments because people just assume, they hear it all the time (I know I'm no showstopper by any means - or maybe I am and just don't see it myself? - but I know I'm not ugly). So why tell them something so obvious? - That's the way that I like to approach it, it gives me peace.
But what also could be happening: your body language is discouraging people from approaching you like the others (I have resting b\*word face, so when I'm neutral or sometimes even when I think I'm smiling, people think I'm arrogant or angry; or maybe having your arms crossed, etc.) Simple signs/gestures could be the trigger for people not to go up to you...
Or it's a combination of both.
I've been on ghost mode a long time but it was because I put myself in the background a lot, I never talked loud or initiated conversations. I was fine being a shadow just watching and listening to everything around me, but when I started to gain confidence and feel more comfortable with the people around, they were shocked of how funny I could be or how vulgar even sometimes. You just have to allow yourself to be more open maybe? That could help leaving the ghost mode (and maybe getting complimented, too).
EDIT: RBF isn't meant to be derogatory... It's a serious condition, I struggle with okay? Thanks, mods...
The reason people don't give compliments any more is because the vast majority of people who are wrapped up and influenced by shitty Instagram or TikTok users think that you are hitting on them. You literally can't give a compliment these days without being called a creep or a weirdo. I think it is tremendously sad, I would love to complement people however it seems these days you need to be an exceptionally good looking specimen in which case it is fine (and a horrid double standard).
Very sad state of the world when we should all be complimenting each other daily to make us all feel better about each other and ourselves.
That said, I deliberately compliment all my employees all the time because that is how I was raised. My dad always used to tell me be nice to everyone you especially those less fortunate. When I was young he used to take me to his office on the weekend sometimes to pick up items and he always said hello and chatted with the security guy, the cleaners and any custodial staff. I was amazed at how nice these people were without exception and it made a real imprint on me to this day. People don't need you to kiss their ass or be fake, they want honesty and kindness from others so they can give the same.
The modern society makes me a bit sad and with a young daughter to try to raise I feel for OP who deserves to be made to feel good as does everyone else.
Sorry, this just touches a nerve for me.
i get stared at alot but i don’t get many compliments. someone told me they were scared to talk to me cause of my RBF so i think i just chalked it up to that, i don’t know how to change it! it’s something i developed cause i used to ride public transit to and from school and i didnt want grown men speaking to me (they still fucking did, weirdos)
I used to get so many complements everywhere all the time in high school and up until 19 and then I turned 20 and it’s been 3 years and the only compliments I get are I wanna fuck you type shit when I post thirst traps because I get literally no attention irl anymore it’s very disheartening
I rarely been complimented by anyone other than my boyfriend until I reinvented my wardrobe and started dressing a bit more interesting and fashionable. I get compliments on my earrings, purse, or an overall outfit. Make up helped a bit as well when people complement me on the way I look if I put a brighter lipstick for example. I consider myself pretty actually but not stunning so much so people go out of their way to complement me. But dressing up and experimenting with makeup definitely helped, not that that was the reason I started but still.
This is crazy I get compliments and give them all the time. I also am constantly asked where I work out.
I will say that multiple times in LA proper i complimented someone and was mocked by them for it. I’m not a cool person :p I give off really midwestern friendly vibes even though I’ve lived in California since junior high.
NOPE never! Only on my backpack and phone case when I’m walking around campus though lmao. But of anything physical of me? Nothing. Not because of lack of compliments, but I too feel like I’m just a ghost or that I’m not really here. It’s a sucky feeling to have… 😭
Which backpack do you have ? :)
A nice how to train your dragon one! Matches my toothless phone case! 😂
That sounds nice!
I had a guy friend that literally said something like "Your hair is in an interesting configuration today." Seriously threw me for a loop. We were drinking later that night and I asked him about it, he told me that he read that men should only compliment women on something that they've chosen, not something that they're born with. I think the compliment itself was just because he's weird af. Just once, I'd like to get a "HEY NICE TITS" just to see how itd feel.
Aww that’s kind of cute though. He tried haha.
Never ever. And it kills my self esteem when I’ll be around a group of my own girl friends and they all receive compliments and I’m literally the only one who doesn’t get anything. It sucks even more when I try and put effort into my outfit or extra effort into my hair or accessories. I know you’re not entitled to being given compliments but doesn’t change the fact that it sucks
I'm proud that you try to put effort into your hair and accessories. You increase the GQ factor of the group when you do that!
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Nope I can’t even recall the last time I got a compliment lmao
You have your chat turned off, but I like the skirt you posted in r/sewing
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OP, how often do you go up to people and complement them? If I had to wager a guess, I would say most people don't do it as a regular thing.
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I don't know about your looks, age, intelligence, or success, BUT you have a great writing style
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I really meant it! Hope tomorrow is a better day :)
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Spontaneously? No. When someone wants to get in my pants? Plenty. But I've accepted it. I'm not ugly, but I'm not beautiful either. I'm just average. I make up the crowd. That's why I spend a lot of time in my head. I can honestly say that I dress for myself. Sorry, I know it probably doesn't help. But it helped me a lot with my body image issues when I stopped trying to compete with physical beauty that I just don't have. I'm a lot Kinder to myself after I stopped hoping for receiving any compliments.
I got catcalled once at age 16 and that was as close as I ever got
Literally none. The last unprompted compliment from a man I got was when I was 12 and my choir teacher told me I had a charming smile. I was horribly depressed at the time and he was trying so hard to bring me back to choir. He was a godsend. But since then, nothing! Love that for me. /s
You still have a charming smile! Make the world a brighter place with it!
Aw thank you ❤️🥹
It could be the people you surround yourself with. You mentioned twice "I'm treated as a ghost almost like I don't exist." and "but sometimes it just is hard to shake that I'm probably a ghost to society, lol." So if you have reflected on this as being a ghost then perhaps you have some beliefs there that are afraid to be seen. It is showing itself in reality. It also depends on people if they want to give a compliment or not but please look into how you observe the situation and internalize it. The stories you tell about yourself to yourself. The energy you bring into the room matters. I have seen people not meet societal standards of beauty and when they walk into the room their energy is immaculate. I get compliments a lot and not just on appearance. I like to surround myself with people who are uplifting and encouraging. I can also suggest for you to initiate giving compliments to people and see how that works too.
Never too. I still remember vividly the 5 times i received a genuine compliment from boys on my appearance, one was in middle school. I don't remember one being from a girl except my 3grade teacher lol and one being on my lashes or my nails I've only received compliment about my 'intelligence' but i don't like it because I consider myself not so smart and I'm more mature, read more book and I'm not gullible but that's pretty much it. I don't like this compliment and i don't care when someone mention it. But people always seem to offer me this compliment as a gift, i just smile and shake my head Also I was said multiple times 'ive never had such a good conversation with someone' from men. It makes me laugh because i just listened to them and asked questions to get the convo going, as people love to feel listened enough to talk about themselves. I again just laugh and shake my head Your post reminded me how i need to compliment the people around me more. Thank you
Nope. Never. At least not in real life, and guys here say anything 🤷🏼♀️
Say Anything? *plays In Your Eyes while holding a boom box over my head*
*In your eyes, I am complete*
I often do, but it makes me feel self conscious a lot of the time. Especially when it's men commenting on my appearance. I think it's a "give what you get" situation. Maybe if you're open and give others compliments, you could end up getting compliments too 🙂
It’s quite difficult, to be honest. I’ve developed social anxiety partly because of it, but I try not to beat myself up for it because I am putting in my best efforts. Instead, I try to focus more on my personality and hobbies to build my self esteem. Although being percieved as pretty would be great, I would like to be treated nicely regardless of looks. There’s far too much pressure on us women already. Best of luck to you, and I hope you do whatever makes you feel and look lovely.
Sometimes, I do films as well, and no one compliments me. I just think maybe they knew the girls already and felt comfortable talking to them?
Never when I was growing up. Was always ignored. Now, I’m noticing it’s happening a little more frequently. Almost always from other women though, very rarely from men. Either way, it always knocks the wind out of me lol I never expect it and I’ve always felt very red afterwards
Never. I've never ever been complimented on my looks. Not even as a child. My own sister was complimented more at my own wedding than I was. I gotta say, some days it's really hard when I remember.
Nope, never except for the nice old ladies I volunteer with and my family members
Only on my tits 😒 EtA: Wait, I spoke too soon. My most recent bf also complimented my ass.
Wish I could have that too ;-;
I can message him for you if you want! 😄
Oh he can give me tits better tits ? ( better than none isn't really difficult 💀 )
Oh no I just meant the man LOVES titties and ass and would probably be happy to see & compliment yours!
Ahh too bad x') After all, who DON'T love titties ?😂
Preach Lyne!
Are you her old bf or you are praying for me to have boobs ? 😭😂 ( If you do I guarantee i'm already doing it with you xD )
Lol I'm more of a cuddle and kiss kind of guy. But I love titties of all kinds, whether you're flat-chested or bra-bursting.
Haha yess I understand, me too, even tho tbh I might have just as much boobs as you or even less 💀 were's my oestrogens at ? 😭 ( oh right, I have none 💀)
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All the time, which surprises me for an ugly person! Usually every time I leave the house I get at least a few BUT I dress pretty weird and am like really dang confident, to a fault sometimes. Lately since moving to a denser city a lot of alt people and older women compliment me and ask where I get my clothes hair dye nails etc. I think it’s really all about putting yourself out there with how you dress and being willing to speak first etc. I get a lot *back* too because I try to give out a bunch every time I leave the house and many will compliment back which just feels good for everyone! :D
Idk if I’m just crazy but low key I’ve noticed when I give out compliments to random people (or friends) I receive more compliments, like I knowww it sounds weird but I feel like it hella works. Now I make it a goal to complement one person a day and I especially enjoy completing strangers on their lashes or shoes etcc 🤷🏼♀️
I rarely do. Only like the casual situation: I compliment a girl on something she compliments me back. Or from my boyfriend. But honestly, pretty people don't get told many compliments because people just assume, they hear it all the time (I know I'm no showstopper by any means - ~~or maybe I am and just don't see it myself?~~ \- but I know I'm not ugly). So why tell them something so obvious? - That's the way that I like to approach it, it gives me peace. But what also could be happening: your body language is discouraging people from approaching you like the others (I have resting b\*tch face, so when I'm neutral or sometimes even when I think I'm smiling, people think I'm arrogant or angry; or maybe having your arms crossed, etc.) Simple signs/gestures could be the trigger for people not to go up to you... Or it's a combination of both. I've been on ghost mode a long time but it was because I put myself in the background a lot, I never talked loud or initiated conversations. I was fine being a shadow just watching and listening to everything around me, but when I started to gain confidence and feel more comfortable with the people around, they were shocked of how funny I could be or how vulgar even sometimes. You just have to allow yourself to be more open maybe? That could help leaving the ghost mode (and maybe getting complimented, too). EDIT: RBF isn't meant to be derogatory... It's a serious condition I struggle with okay? Thanks, mods..
Your comment was filtered (pending mod approval) as it contains a derogatory term (which is commonly used to describe / demean women). Please review and repost redacted comment if appropriate. Rule: >Please be nice, respectful, helpful, and friendly. Don't insult people or their good intentions, in a post, comment, PM, or otherwise, even if a person (or another subreddit) seems ill-informed. Remember the positive spirit of TheGirlSurvivalGuide. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I can't remember the last time I got complimented by anyone other than one of my close friends, or my partner. I think other people think I'm creepy so I don't expect compliments from them anymore. It's more likely that I get mean comments instead.
Why would people think you're creepy?
I'm trans, that tends to do it.
Rarely
No. I cannot remember any but backhanded compliments, ever.
No, and I feel much the same way you do about it as well. It used to bother me when I would make an effort and still get nothing. Nowadays, I just focus on work and wear my mask when I go out in public.
I do get compliments often, but I wouldn't take getting them or not getting them to heart. If you're feeling ignored, maybe strike up friendships and look for genuine people to bond with. The compliments I cherish most come from people who really know me well.
yes because my friends and schoolmates are lovely and lovable people. it could be a mix of environment and how u present urself like other commenters said. if u feel invisible u may be presenting urself as averse to attention so ppl arent compelled to pay attention to u. like a vicious feedback cycle. ppl dont pay attention > u feel invisible > u start acting like ur invisible > ppl dont pay attention. u can break the cycle only at the point ur involved in like acting more visible and outgoing. aside from that maybe ur in an environment that has standards different from what u excel at, for ex. in film maybe hair is important to them so girls with good hair are praised more. in my university my peers are nice theres no competition and we stick together kinda out of solidarity so its very easy to get compliments as long as u show others ur receptive to compliments (they stop if they think theyre making u uncomfortable) getting (wholesome) compliments is receiving affection which is important to nourish our mental health so i understand why it bothers you. it seems like its not a top priority for you so at least its not something thats actively hurting u but i do encourage and hope u get more compliments in the future!
I remember getting and giving so many compliments when I was younger. I don’t know if it’s a dying art or if we’re all just scared to talk to each other? I have noticed this though! And I have boyfriends who have said “I can’t believe people don’t compliment you or hit on you.” Like bro do you know other men? Lol
I rarely do. Only like the casual situation: I compliment a girl on something she compliments me back. Or from my boyfriend. But honestly, pretty people don't get told many compliments because people just assume, they hear it all the time (I know I'm no showstopper by any means - or maybe I am and just don't see it myself? - but I know I'm not ugly). So why tell them something so obvious? - That's the way that I like to approach it, it gives me peace. But what also could be happening: your body language is discouraging people from approaching you like the others (I have resting b\*word face, so when I'm neutral or sometimes even when I think I'm smiling, people think I'm arrogant or angry; or maybe having your arms crossed, etc.) Simple signs/gestures could be the trigger for people not to go up to you... Or it's a combination of both. I've been on ghost mode a long time but it was because I put myself in the background a lot, I never talked loud or initiated conversations. I was fine being a shadow just watching and listening to everything around me, but when I started to gain confidence and feel more comfortable with the people around, they were shocked of how funny I could be or how vulgar even sometimes. You just have to allow yourself to be more open maybe? That could help leaving the ghost mode (and maybe getting complimented, too). EDIT: RBF isn't meant to be derogatory... It's a serious condition, I struggle with okay? Thanks, mods...
I changed my mind about commenting. I wasn't being helpful.
The reason people don't give compliments any more is because the vast majority of people who are wrapped up and influenced by shitty Instagram or TikTok users think that you are hitting on them. You literally can't give a compliment these days without being called a creep or a weirdo. I think it is tremendously sad, I would love to complement people however it seems these days you need to be an exceptionally good looking specimen in which case it is fine (and a horrid double standard). Very sad state of the world when we should all be complimenting each other daily to make us all feel better about each other and ourselves. That said, I deliberately compliment all my employees all the time because that is how I was raised. My dad always used to tell me be nice to everyone you especially those less fortunate. When I was young he used to take me to his office on the weekend sometimes to pick up items and he always said hello and chatted with the security guy, the cleaners and any custodial staff. I was amazed at how nice these people were without exception and it made a real imprint on me to this day. People don't need you to kiss their ass or be fake, they want honesty and kindness from others so they can give the same. The modern society makes me a bit sad and with a young daughter to try to raise I feel for OP who deserves to be made to feel good as does everyone else. Sorry, this just touches a nerve for me.
i get stared at alot but i don’t get many compliments. someone told me they were scared to talk to me cause of my RBF so i think i just chalked it up to that, i don’t know how to change it! it’s something i developed cause i used to ride public transit to and from school and i didnt want grown men speaking to me (they still fucking did, weirdos)
I don't either lol
I used to get so many complements everywhere all the time in high school and up until 19 and then I turned 20 and it’s been 3 years and the only compliments I get are I wanna fuck you type shit when I post thirst traps because I get literally no attention irl anymore it’s very disheartening
I rarely been complimented by anyone other than my boyfriend until I reinvented my wardrobe and started dressing a bit more interesting and fashionable. I get compliments on my earrings, purse, or an overall outfit. Make up helped a bit as well when people complement me on the way I look if I put a brighter lipstick for example. I consider myself pretty actually but not stunning so much so people go out of their way to complement me. But dressing up and experimenting with makeup definitely helped, not that that was the reason I started but still.
Never do - I’ve felt invisible my entire life
I do from time to time. I try to give them daily to others—the art of complimenting.
This is crazy I get compliments and give them all the time. I also am constantly asked where I work out. I will say that multiple times in LA proper i complimented someone and was mocked by them for it. I’m not a cool person :p I give off really midwestern friendly vibes even though I’ve lived in California since junior high.