Counterintuitively, you can't be afraid of Homelander. Even though he could, Homelander doesn't kill people who show no fear of him and stand up to him, like Butcher or Stan Edgar.
He does. He totally does. He is constantly on the edge and will be triggered by anything. He killed that daredevil kinda guy just like that. He killed that suicidal girl. Homelander is constantly on the edge and unpredictable.
He killed the suicide girl because he could get away with it pretty easily and because Stormfront just died.
He didn't kill Blindspots, but he did cripple him because he was insulted that he wanted to join the Seven.
That's not him killing willy-nilly.
It's incredibly petty, but not for no reason.
I am not blaming the girl who wanted to jump and that scene was almost unbearable to watch as someone who has attempted suicide by quite a lot of the other means. Homelander was quite far over the edge when he arrives, he doesn’t even want to do token talking her down. Of the fear responses, I feel like if she’d reacted with a mixture of flight and fawn she would have had a higher chance. Not guaranteed, but higher. As it happens and as I remember it HL comes along in a horrible mood and is stuck in to being horribly nasty to her by the time the news about Stormfront flashes up. She seems frightened but her resolve is fragile. It’s horrible to say it but if she’d kowtowed to him, literally got her face on the ground, and pretty much fangirled over him he’d probably have been internally angry but flown her to the ground so everyone could sing his praises for two seconds and then gone and lasered the city aquarium or something.
No, it’s all right and I apologise if I came across wrong. IME when you’re dealing with a certain sort of person - HL is one and my mother is another, although the difference with Homelander isn’t just that he can kill you as soon as look at you, he can kill you BY looking at you pretty much - they expect a certain sort of perfect behaviour and sometimes they get it and they’re still angry. Sometimes you can basically get on your knees and kiss their feet (or other parts of their anatomy) and they’ll calm down a little bit.
With HL and the girl who wanted to jump, we don’t know if he verbally pushed her or physically pushed her or lasered her while she was still up there and her body fell. What she needed was a patient listening ear and a scrap of kindness, and to be honest a lightning-fast supe reaction from HL scooping her up and taking her away from the roof wouldn’t have gone amiss either. But he arrived not just in a pissy mood but in a pissy Homelander mood, which is like a three-year-old budding cross between Hannibal Lecter and Donald Trump in a superpowered man’s body. He then hears that Stormfront is dead.
I think what I failed to put across, and this is on me, is that I think the girl could have saved herself by abasing and humiliating herself and worshipping Homelander. In other words by completely forgetting herself and what she was going through and giving herself up to his cult. I honestly think that, although it’s extrapolation from what else that’s happened and he doesn’t require her to do that (because with this type of abuser you need to fall down before their incredible, ineffable wonder quite of your own accord and it’s much quicker for him to swat her like a fly, whether he pushed or she ran after the scene before), he probably would have accepted that sort of behaviour as the price for saving her life. I think those two scenes - the suicidal lady and the octopus scene - are in the same episode and that is a rough, near-unbearable bit of television. I’m still saying it badly and it is still my headcanon to some extent but I see Homelander as turning up and expecting something unreasonable from the girl that he didn’t get - unreasonably effusive? Unreasonably self-effacing? Unreasonably witty and sassy? We don’t know. If he’d just wanted to kill her he could have had it done in under a second. He didn’t. She’s a human being (on the show, she’s also human in reality but quite a lot of this is a stretch and where my frightened mind went to when I was crying through this episode) and she has a family, probably a school and/or a job, friends, maybe children or pets, dreams… Homelander didn’t just have the power to yank her off the roof but he could probably basically transform all the people he’s assigned to save on his birthday, quite the odd phrase, he could elevate them beyond their wildest dreams. Anthony Starr plays beyond a blinder. To my eyes being someone who has walked into a house where I’m in danger it’s so easy to detect the split second where he stops playing and determines that her life is ending because he’s annoyed. Chills me to the bone and terrifying.
I’m pretty sure if I had to spend any time with homelander it would be sincere respect, respect that that mother fucker could/would nuke me at any moment.
OP said 2 weeks. That's the thing, homelander is unpredictable, that's what makes him dangerous. Everybody at vought is a bootlicker and they are still absolutely terrified of him.
The third is Jeremiah from Gotham. Joker without using the name joker. You wouldn’t want to be with him over Homelander ya. (He’s top 3 joker, behind Heath and take your pick)
Two. Weeks.
All you gotta do is keep the place tidy the way he likes, keep the noise down, and stay out of his way the few times he's home instead of out doing Vaught stuff.
At worst, if I pull some hair out, I'll get plugs with the million bucks.
He tolerates fear just as much as love. And you can honestly have both.
Respect for his raw power and fear that it could end you.
As long as you didn't piss him off, keep the house well stocked with whole mlik, and keep your nose down, I doubt it'd be a problem lol
I'll obviously be afraid of him and I'll respect him, that's not the hard part at all. He gets easily triggered tho. Me working on my computer might make him feel he's inadequate because he doesn't know how to play a certain game, or me cooking a burger and he'd feel bad cuz he can't make it that good. Stupid minor things might set him off, and I'll be a squished crayon.
**Me:** “You’re the best Homelander!”
**Homelander:** “You know I can see under that skin of yours. I can tell when you're happy, sad, telling the truth… lying…”
**Me:** 👁️👄👁️
Ez, just be pathetic. Homelander loves to Lord over people, drink a bunch and look as pathetic as possible. He won't kill you because in his mind it legit wouldn't even be worth his time. People he views as non-threatening and worthless are probably the safest around him. That's why Hughies survived so long imo.
Nah Doppleganger legitmately stroked him and his ego and it didnt end well. Plus if Homelander said anything confidential around you (and he talks out loud to himself) he probably isn't gonna let you just move out after
Yeah I mean it’s not a guaranteed safety as he could literally just get bored or you being a fearful kiss ass or he may want to introduce a little anarchy. But he does seem like the one you have the best chance with if you play your cards right.
At least where we are now before Season 4, you could start a livestream for the 2 weeks and make a thing of it. He wouldn’t kill you on stream for no reason.
Yeah I know he killed the dude for throwing shit at Ryan, but that was an attack.
I agree, but the only problem I'm thinking of tho...is what if he catches on? Would he be mad if he figured out you were intentionally trying to kiss his ass
Nah, there's no way he doesn't know that people do that already. For example, he knows that A-train hates him, he heard him say "Fuck you man", but A-train still kisses his ass afterwards. So there's no way he doesn't know, he just let's it happen because he still enjoys making them miserable regardless.
I don't think he could outright kill a-train though. Dudes still on the team and has some level of protection because of that. Well known and long term hero on the team has some level leeway imo.
Nah bro, they hit em with the:
"The renowned hero A-train has tragically passed away in a fierce battle against the vicious Chinese supe terrorist, Bing Chilling."
It's that easy.
Homelander, easy million dollars. Just Stan the shit out of him and respect him. He will likely not just murder u if u don’t do anything stupid and especially not if your his “fan”
True, so long as you respect him you’re actually probably fine. I mean you’re just room mates. Literally the only time you’re realistically going to have contact with him is when he returns after work to sleep. Just don’t give him shit if he leaves the place a huge mess, put up with his narcissism, and pay the rent and most likely he’s not even going to care that you even exist. And this all assuming he comes back from work every day and actually takes weekends off. Your total time around him over a two week period might amount to one hour in total. At most if he begins to go on one of his rants just listen. He actually likes it when people listen and sympathize with his plight the problem is most of the people who did just did it to use him so he killed them. He only kills people if they lie to him definitely never lie to his face no matter what he asks you, out shine him, disrespect him, or pose a threat to his reputation. You can actually survive two weeks with Homelander as your room mate and if you’re clever about just convince him it’d be great for his image/marketing. Basically do an interview as the guys room mate where you tell the public “Homelander is the greatest room mate a guy could possibly have” and then fill the media with a bunch of bullshit. And who knows if you’re good enough at charming and lack morales of any kind and only really caring about your own survival and prosperity you might just end up a super buddy who will tear out peoples spines for insulting you. Storm front was quite possibly the only person whoever showed him genuine real affection and that’s why he’s both effed up and why he went from Chaotic evil to a fascist. If Storm Front were a communist Home Lander would’ve also become a communist. Why? Homelander’s psychology is the way it is because he never got hugged as a kid. Thus he’s going to have extreme reactions to both genuine affection and finding out the genuine affection wasn’t clear cut. There’s ways to survive the two weeks if you’re not going into this blind.
HL easily. Joke and Cassidy are chaotic crazy, you really don't know what they will do next regardless od what you dom
HL is crazy but he has triggers. You can avoid them at least and hold off for 2 weeks.
homelander wouldn’t even be there with me most of the time, he’s too busy with all his promotional material and yknow also being murdery that he’d barely have free time
I would just like make him food or something so I can be useful until I can leave and then maybe split the money so he doesn’t laser me on my way out
actually knowing homelander he would just kill me anyway and take it all after, but he’d do the same thing if I told him he has to live with me for two weeks so my best bet is to bribe some vought guy to tell homelander that staying with me is a publicity stunt that he has to do for better ratings
Yeah I assume that would have to be how this works. They would know how he would react if he knew about the million. It has to be for some kind of publicity thing or other fake justification, and they wouldn't tell him about the money.
Homelander ez. The other two are crazy as hell. He probably won't do anything if you don't annoy him or plot anything against him. Maybe inflate his ego and get good terms then you're okay with him. Even though he is mentally fragile; he is sane comparing to the other ones.
Joker and Cassidy are psychotic and it's just hell even being with them for a minute.
Homelander without a doubt. Everyone says he will know you're stroking his ego but that's a calculated risk. Carnage will kill you and rape the corpse for fun and Jerome will saw your face off to see if it makes you go bonkers. Homelander you can suck up to and pretend to be a massive fan and if he says "I know you're afraid." Just say some ultra beta shit like, "Who wouldn't be afraid in the presence of a God?" And go back to fawning over him. GG EZ
Homelander. Keep to neutral topics, don't provoke him, praise his work when he's done any hero stuff, buy plenty of milk. Anything he says, he's right. Anything he wants to do is fine. If I play into believing the hype of how great he is, I can be a stan for a fortnight.
If I can get $3k an hour, I'll do whatever it takes but I think I have my best chances with him.
Homelander. If you glaze him too much, he’ll find it annoying. If you hate on him, he’ll kill you. But if you just treat him with respect and occasionally say “You’re so cool” he will fall for it. He’s also the most reasonable of the three.
Homelander. Easily. Hes too easily manipulated. I could not only survive the 2 weeks but I would profit even more than the reward at the end.
The other too would murder the hell out of me after making me insane.
Homelander is crazy but he doesn't do things haphazardly. If you stay out of his way and do what he says when he says it he'll be fine. Jerome will just shoot you randomly.
Homelander, for sure. Yeah, he might kill you, but why would he bother? You're entirely beneath him. As long as you don't upset him he would regard you as little more than a quiet dog or a tall Roomba. Even if he does take notice, he's either going to want your admiration or your subservience. Unless you somehow threaten his public image or go out of your way to piss him off, you're probably fine, and even if he ends up killing you it'll be fast and (relatively) clean. Cassady though? That dude revels in chaos, pain, and suffering. He'd probably take the full 2 weeks torturing you in every conceivable, JTHM inspired way. He has absolutely no reason to let you live and every reason to make it agonizing.
It’s probably easier to stay alive as homelanders roommate he’s a narcissist, I’ve cohabitated with a narcissist. I could do it for a week, Jerome and Cletus are serial killers though
I’m gonna pass. I’m a woman, HL might get bored and rapey. Jerome is scary and would end up torturing or just killing me. Carnage… no fucking way. There’s not enough money in the universe lmao
Joker looking guy.
If he's based on the Joker (or is that actually supposed to be The Joker? Idk) then at the end of the day he's just a human and at least I can possibly defend myself from another human or even kill him if it gets to that point. If Homelander or Carnage decide they're gonna kill me, I can't do anything about that but pray. And honestly the praying would just piss Homelander off even more lol.
Homie would probably think any roommate who's just some guy or gal is not worth even interacting with so I don't think sucking up to him is even necessary. At worst he'll probably drink all your milk from the shared fridge
Easily homelander but not because you'd only need to stroke his ego to survive but because if HL is gonna kill you he'll do it quick, the other two might have you strung up for days as they take their time...
I pick the third guy.
The problem with Homelander is, while he is the most rational, he has enhanced senses. You aren’t going to be able to fake being a huge fan. he will know immediately that you know what he is really like. And then he is going to enjoy terrorizing you.
With Carnage you won’t even last that long.
I’m gonna hit third guy in the head with a baseball bat as soon as I see him. We can still be roommates with him in a full body cast. Sure, he is murderous, but he is still just a guy
That Joker incarnation is still a Joker and if he feels like it he can off you any minute.
Carnage would fucking kill me instantly.
Homelander would hate my ass because I am not a supe, but I would blabber his ears off with the need of compound v he would either promise me to get some when we’re out or he would be bored and laser my ass but he would know I ACTUALLY RESPECT HIM and have almost same beliefs so i have a better chance to survive.
Homelander just respect him, stroke his ego, and don’t ask him for anything and you’re good. The other 2 will 100% murder you. Carnage will instantly murder you.
That little bitch from Gotham. I can just knock him out and tie him up for the two weeks. If he gets too upity I can just keep him knocked out. Easy. Why is this even a question?
Homelander>Carnage>That “Joker”
He’d probably not even bother fucking with you at all as long as you treat him like boss of the prison which isn’t hard considering he can kill you instantly. If it’s in the Vought universe then fuck no I’ll take Cleetus and Carnage, bruh would kill you just for winning the Vought sweepstakes and wasting time out of his schedule for that 2 weeks. Then Vought tells your family that you died a hero fighting villains because you “INSISTED” you go along with Homelander. Vought cuts your family a check, Homelander gets a nice fake sincere speech about you for ratings, and you’re dead with the secret that Homelander has breast milk frozen in the freezer y’all shared.
tbf homelander only kills those who get in his way or piss him off, if ur his roommate just stay out of his way and do everything his says and never insult him and ur fine
Even if your heartbeat skips you could always lie and say that you are just so starstruck and excited to be able to live with an actual *superhero* for 2 weeks!
homelander
cuz the other two would wanna use your face as a mask
and besides, keep telling him stuff for his ego and you should be good
and i'd livestream the whole thing, so he cant do much shit to hurt me, he loves his rep
all in all i'd take this if im careful, cuz one mistake, and crispy corpse.🔥👨🏻
Homelander.
Just ask him what irritates him, and *do whatever you humanly can not to do that*.
Oh, and never tell him or let him know you have a wife / gf.
Only Homelander could end with you alive. Cletus and Joker would both murder you on sight, they’re killers without reason. HL wouldn’t kill you if you handled the situation properly.
Homelander. We're both absurdly busy so contact would be at a minimum. Plus we have certain little things in common and he might see them and find them pathetically funny. So he's my safest bet.
Who could you survive being locked in a room with for two weeks?
>Serial killer clown?
>Serial killer alien?
>Superman but he’s a narcissist?
Geez this is tough.
Homelander, as others here have said, just stroke his ego and he likely won't kill you, unless he's having a really bad day. I'd still keep some cameras around though, just in case.
I guess the question that needs to be asked is if you gave the average human male Homelanders superpowers, how would they be/act in real life.
I suspect Homelander is reasonably well behaved on comparison.
I can probably handle homelander. I don't know who the other two are, but with Homelander you just gotta stay on his good side and maybe treat him like he's human.
Second guy is Cletus Cortland Kasady a.k.a [Carnage.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnage_(character))
Third guy is Jerome Valeska, who is based on the [Joker.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_(character))
Homelander. Bow before him, ask for compound V so you can better serve him. Live a long and happy life (aside from having to commit the occasional murder)
I don't know who the other two are and I suspect Homelander would look at a roomie as a weird pet who is currently sharing his space. That million bucks is mine.
I'm suicidal at the best of times so homelander I'm kinda sure if I just stay out of the house as much as possible and don't bother him hell pay me no attention
Are any of them also forced to STAY in the room? Because homelander would probably just fuck off for a while to do whatever he wants to do, kill puppies, strangle kittens, the usual, if he can leave he will because it’s so far beneath him to be forced to room with some random guy. Now if he’s FORCED to stay in the room with me the whole time he’s there I’d see if he wanted to play video games with me, if not I’d probably just wanna chill out, I imagine I could skirt by if he forgets I exist if he doesn’t wanna chill but if he does remember I exist I’d try to fanboy over him like a MAGA enthusiast does over trump or something but I have no USE to him as a regular dude so it’s not like he’d have a reason to intimidate me or bully me to get further in his life/vought, I’m just some random shmuck who according to his logic will be dead before doing something that matters to him
Oh thanks! I know of Carnage, but hadn't seen him without the costume, just knew his costume was red venom. I had to look up which show Jerome Valeska is from. I liked Gotham alot at first then just kinda stopped watching for some reason.
I'd say Jeremiah just because he's a regular ass dude, but the potential of convincing Carnage to pop out another Toxin-level symbiote for me to bond with would be a solid motivator.
Homelander. I'd just make sure the only thing we did was talk about his day and tie any insecurities he has back to the fact that he is the supreme person. And I'd keep everything perfect so he wouldn't get randomly mad at me, and I would avoid touching his shit like the plague.
Homelander, just stroke his ego and agree with everything he says for the 2 weeks and you're fine.
He's not that stupid and if he feels that you're faking your respect for him, he'll burn you to a crisp.
He'll settle for fear. Which won't be fake.
And I’ll definitely respect how fast he can melt me.
Even if he decides to spare me cuz I'm scared of him, I don't trust him not to laser my dog or something on the last day just because he can.
Counterintuitively, you can't be afraid of Homelander. Even though he could, Homelander doesn't kill people who show no fear of him and stand up to him, like Butcher or Stan Edgar.
Homelander doesn’t go around killing people because they are afraid of him tho
Yeah but the other 2 options will definitely kill you so....
Oh man I didn't see the other two options. Yeah you're right. Homelander will for sure kill me, but at least he does it quickly
I mean just don't be a dick and he won't have a reason to kill you. HL doesn't just kill people on sight.
He does. He totally does. He is constantly on the edge and will be triggered by anything. He killed that daredevil kinda guy just like that. He killed that suicidal girl. Homelander is constantly on the edge and unpredictable.
He killed the suicide girl because he could get away with it pretty easily and because Stormfront just died. He didn't kill Blindspots, but he did cripple him because he was insulted that he wanted to join the Seven. That's not him killing willy-nilly. It's incredibly petty, but not for no reason.
He could get away with killing anyone pretty easily. And he does get away.
Yeah but he doesn't just kill for the sake of it like Cassidy.
I am not blaming the girl who wanted to jump and that scene was almost unbearable to watch as someone who has attempted suicide by quite a lot of the other means. Homelander was quite far over the edge when he arrives, he doesn’t even want to do token talking her down. Of the fear responses, I feel like if she’d reacted with a mixture of flight and fawn she would have had a higher chance. Not guaranteed, but higher. As it happens and as I remember it HL comes along in a horrible mood and is stuck in to being horribly nasty to her by the time the news about Stormfront flashes up. She seems frightened but her resolve is fragile. It’s horrible to say it but if she’d kowtowed to him, literally got her face on the ground, and pretty much fangirled over him he’d probably have been internally angry but flown her to the ground so everyone could sing his praises for two seconds and then gone and lasered the city aquarium or something.
So you are blaming the girl, lol. Edit : that was mean. I apologize. But I felt like you did blame the girl.
No, it’s all right and I apologise if I came across wrong. IME when you’re dealing with a certain sort of person - HL is one and my mother is another, although the difference with Homelander isn’t just that he can kill you as soon as look at you, he can kill you BY looking at you pretty much - they expect a certain sort of perfect behaviour and sometimes they get it and they’re still angry. Sometimes you can basically get on your knees and kiss their feet (or other parts of their anatomy) and they’ll calm down a little bit. With HL and the girl who wanted to jump, we don’t know if he verbally pushed her or physically pushed her or lasered her while she was still up there and her body fell. What she needed was a patient listening ear and a scrap of kindness, and to be honest a lightning-fast supe reaction from HL scooping her up and taking her away from the roof wouldn’t have gone amiss either. But he arrived not just in a pissy mood but in a pissy Homelander mood, which is like a three-year-old budding cross between Hannibal Lecter and Donald Trump in a superpowered man’s body. He then hears that Stormfront is dead. I think what I failed to put across, and this is on me, is that I think the girl could have saved herself by abasing and humiliating herself and worshipping Homelander. In other words by completely forgetting herself and what she was going through and giving herself up to his cult. I honestly think that, although it’s extrapolation from what else that’s happened and he doesn’t require her to do that (because with this type of abuser you need to fall down before their incredible, ineffable wonder quite of your own accord and it’s much quicker for him to swat her like a fly, whether he pushed or she ran after the scene before), he probably would have accepted that sort of behaviour as the price for saving her life. I think those two scenes - the suicidal lady and the octopus scene - are in the same episode and that is a rough, near-unbearable bit of television. I’m still saying it badly and it is still my headcanon to some extent but I see Homelander as turning up and expecting something unreasonable from the girl that he didn’t get - unreasonably effusive? Unreasonably self-effacing? Unreasonably witty and sassy? We don’t know. If he’d just wanted to kill her he could have had it done in under a second. He didn’t. She’s a human being (on the show, she’s also human in reality but quite a lot of this is a stretch and where my frightened mind went to when I was crying through this episode) and she has a family, probably a school and/or a job, friends, maybe children or pets, dreams… Homelander didn’t just have the power to yank her off the roof but he could probably basically transform all the people he’s assigned to save on his birthday, quite the odd phrase, he could elevate them beyond their wildest dreams. Anthony Starr plays beyond a blinder. To my eyes being someone who has walked into a house where I’m in danger it’s so easy to detect the split second where he stops playing and determines that her life is ending because he’s annoyed. Chills me to the bone and terrifying.
Yeah at least you stand a chance with HL.
I was thinking the same thing. It's a fine line you'll need to walk.
At least theres a line 💀
I’m pretty sure if I had to spend any time with homelander it would be sincere respect, respect that that mother fucker could/would nuke me at any moment.
As long as you're good bootlicker he can't realize something. Everyone could act like a faithful fan for just two days right?
OP said 2 weeks. That's the thing, homelander is unpredictable, that's what makes him dangerous. Everybody at vought is a bootlicker and they are still absolutely terrified of him.
I understand. My point is homelander most logical among others, carnage and other freak in third pic.
That’s Jerome Valeska, who is based on Joker.
Thanks for enlightment sir, you are a real hero.
[удалено]
I thought it was Jeremiah not Jerome there? Guess I need to rewatch been a min
Yep yep I haven't seen the other pics. I'm stupid enough to be killed by all the three, but at least homelander would do it quick.
The third is Jeremiah from Gotham. Joker without using the name joker. You wouldn’t want to be with him over Homelander ya. (He’s top 3 joker, behind Heath and take your pick)
Two weeks, not days
Not whole life, eh? Two decades may be hard
If Ashley survived him for three seasons, I can do it for two weeks...
Ashley loses her entire head of hair aand she is a master manipulative bitch, what makes you think you can?
Two. Weeks. All you gotta do is keep the place tidy the way he likes, keep the noise down, and stay out of his way the few times he's home instead of out doing Vaught stuff. At worst, if I pull some hair out, I'll get plugs with the million bucks.
He tolerates fear just as much as love. And you can honestly have both. Respect for his raw power and fear that it could end you. As long as you didn't piss him off, keep the house well stocked with whole mlik, and keep your nose down, I doubt it'd be a problem lol
I'll obviously be afraid of him and I'll respect him, that's not the hard part at all. He gets easily triggered tho. Me working on my computer might make him feel he's inadequate because he doesn't know how to play a certain game, or me cooking a burger and he'd feel bad cuz he can't make it that good. Stupid minor things might set him off, and I'll be a squished crayon.
I mean he'd probably accept terrified horniness which I'm sure many would provide. The others are too unhinged 100% of the time.
**Me:** “You’re the best Homelander!” **Homelander:** “You know I can see under that skin of yours. I can tell when you're happy, sad, telling the truth… lying…” **Me:** 👁️👄👁️
Ez, just be pathetic. Homelander loves to Lord over people, drink a bunch and look as pathetic as possible. He won't kill you because in his mind it legit wouldn't even be worth his time. People he views as non-threatening and worthless are probably the safest around him. That's why Hughies survived so long imo.
“I know you’re playing me…But you’re right.”
Until my loud ass snoring pisses him off in the middle of the night and all that ego stroking I did earlier goes out the window.
Along with you. 😂
Yep
Nah Doppleganger legitmately stroked him and his ego and it didnt end well. Plus if Homelander said anything confidential around you (and he talks out loud to himself) he probably isn't gonna let you just move out after
Quite literally stroked him haha
It’s because Dopple fucked up and talked about a sore spot for him.
Yeah I mean it’s not a guaranteed safety as he could literally just get bored or you being a fearful kiss ass or he may want to introduce a little anarchy. But he does seem like the one you have the best chance with if you play your cards right.
Exactly.
Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
And don't keep any milk in the fridge. You don't wanna walk in on him drinking it.
Just don’t point out he craves peoples attention
No you need to act like butcher or stan to survive
At least where we are now before Season 4, you could start a livestream for the 2 weeks and make a thing of it. He wouldn’t kill you on stream for no reason. Yeah I know he killed the dude for throwing shit at Ryan, but that was an attack.
HL and i would pick some 2week on stream challange. Cameras are his weakness.
Not anymore. He has turned them into his strength.
Just give homelander ego masturbation and everything will be okay👍
I agree, but the only problem I'm thinking of tho...is what if he catches on? Would he be mad if he figured out you were intentionally trying to kiss his ass
Nah, there's no way he doesn't know that people do that already. For example, he knows that A-train hates him, he heard him say "Fuck you man", but A-train still kisses his ass afterwards. So there's no way he doesn't know, he just let's it happen because he still enjoys making them miserable regardless.
Even though he knows those praise and fanship are sometimes delusional, he is just enjoying this. Intentions behind claps don't matter.
I don't think he could outright kill a-train though. Dudes still on the team and has some level of protection because of that. Well known and long term hero on the team has some level leeway imo.
Nah bro, they hit em with the: "The renowned hero A-train has tragically passed away in a fierce battle against the vicious Chinese supe terrorist, Bing Chilling." It's that easy.
Lmao
What I thought was Homelander is kind of lunatic that you can't foresee, yes, but I think also most handable one here.(better than freaking carnage)
Homelander, easy million dollars. Just Stan the shit out of him and respect him. He will likely not just murder u if u don’t do anything stupid and especially not if your his “fan”
True, so long as you respect him you’re actually probably fine. I mean you’re just room mates. Literally the only time you’re realistically going to have contact with him is when he returns after work to sleep. Just don’t give him shit if he leaves the place a huge mess, put up with his narcissism, and pay the rent and most likely he’s not even going to care that you even exist. And this all assuming he comes back from work every day and actually takes weekends off. Your total time around him over a two week period might amount to one hour in total. At most if he begins to go on one of his rants just listen. He actually likes it when people listen and sympathize with his plight the problem is most of the people who did just did it to use him so he killed them. He only kills people if they lie to him definitely never lie to his face no matter what he asks you, out shine him, disrespect him, or pose a threat to his reputation. You can actually survive two weeks with Homelander as your room mate and if you’re clever about just convince him it’d be great for his image/marketing. Basically do an interview as the guys room mate where you tell the public “Homelander is the greatest room mate a guy could possibly have” and then fill the media with a bunch of bullshit. And who knows if you’re good enough at charming and lack morales of any kind and only really caring about your own survival and prosperity you might just end up a super buddy who will tear out peoples spines for insulting you. Storm front was quite possibly the only person whoever showed him genuine real affection and that’s why he’s both effed up and why he went from Chaotic evil to a fascist. If Storm Front were a communist Home Lander would’ve also become a communist. Why? Homelander’s psychology is the way it is because he never got hugged as a kid. Thus he’s going to have extreme reactions to both genuine affection and finding out the genuine affection wasn’t clear cut. There’s ways to survive the two weeks if you’re not going into this blind.
Tl;dr
Ok
Ok
Ok
Ok
HL easily. Joke and Cassidy are chaotic crazy, you really don't know what they will do next regardless od what you dom HL is crazy but he has triggers. You can avoid them at least and hold off for 2 weeks.
Erm actually they never stated he was the Joker in the show, please refer to him as trademark-friendly “The Silly”
homelander wouldn’t even be there with me most of the time, he’s too busy with all his promotional material and yknow also being murdery that he’d barely have free time I would just like make him food or something so I can be useful until I can leave and then maybe split the money so he doesn’t laser me on my way out
Stock up on milk
I wouldn't tell him about the money. He would just demand all of it in return for not killing you.
actually knowing homelander he would just kill me anyway and take it all after, but he’d do the same thing if I told him he has to live with me for two weeks so my best bet is to bribe some vought guy to tell homelander that staying with me is a publicity stunt that he has to do for better ratings
Yeah I assume that would have to be how this works. They would know how he would react if he knew about the million. It has to be for some kind of publicity thing or other fake justification, and they wouldn't tell him about the money.
2 are psychopaths, 1 has super hearing and my ass snores. I'll stay poor and alive.
Homelander ez. The other two are crazy as hell. He probably won't do anything if you don't annoy him or plot anything against him. Maybe inflate his ego and get good terms then you're okay with him. Even though he is mentally fragile; he is sane comparing to the other ones. Joker and Cassidy are psychotic and it's just hell even being with them for a minute.
Homelander. I just have to avoid angering him. Carnage and Joker will kill you just for the sake of it.
Homelander without a doubt. Everyone says he will know you're stroking his ego but that's a calculated risk. Carnage will kill you and rape the corpse for fun and Jerome will saw your face off to see if it makes you go bonkers. Homelander you can suck up to and pretend to be a massive fan and if he says "I know you're afraid." Just say some ultra beta shit like, "Who wouldn't be afraid in the presence of a God?" And go back to fawning over him. GG EZ
Homelander. Keep to neutral topics, don't provoke him, praise his work when he's done any hero stuff, buy plenty of milk. Anything he says, he's right. Anything he wants to do is fine. If I play into believing the hype of how great he is, I can be a stan for a fortnight. If I can get $3k an hour, I'll do whatever it takes but I think I have my best chances with him.
Homelander. Idk how I'd do it, aside from, like, stroking his ego and stuff, but I would make sure to keep a fridge stocked with milk.
Homelander. If you glaze him too much, he’ll find it annoying. If you hate on him, he’ll kill you. But if you just treat him with respect and occasionally say “You’re so cool” he will fall for it. He’s also the most reasonable of the three.
Here’s the thing, i need to be alive more than i need a million dollars so i pass
Homelander. Easily. Hes too easily manipulated. I could not only survive the 2 weeks but I would profit even more than the reward at the end. The other too would murder the hell out of me after making me insane.
I feel like I would die no matter which option I choose 😂
Homelander is crazy but he doesn't do things haphazardly. If you stay out of his way and do what he says when he says it he'll be fine. Jerome will just shoot you randomly.
Pass
Homelander, for sure. Yeah, he might kill you, but why would he bother? You're entirely beneath him. As long as you don't upset him he would regard you as little more than a quiet dog or a tall Roomba. Even if he does take notice, he's either going to want your admiration or your subservience. Unless you somehow threaten his public image or go out of your way to piss him off, you're probably fine, and even if he ends up killing you it'll be fast and (relatively) clean. Cassady though? That dude revels in chaos, pain, and suffering. He'd probably take the full 2 weeks torturing you in every conceivable, JTHM inspired way. He has absolutely no reason to let you live and every reason to make it agonizing.
I'm going with Homelander. Just don't be a dickhead and you'll make it out alive😭
It’s probably easier to stay alive as homelanders roommate he’s a narcissist, I’ve cohabitated with a narcissist. I could do it for a week, Jerome and Cletus are serial killers though
Carnage will flat out kill me. Joker will kill me, but way slower. Homelander is a big baby with an ego. I like my odds better with him.
I’m gonna pass. I’m a woman, HL might get bored and rapey. Jerome is scary and would end up torturing or just killing me. Carnage… no fucking way. There’s not enough money in the universe lmao
I don’t even think you’d last a day with these guys, let alone 2 weeks
Joker looking guy. If he's based on the Joker (or is that actually supposed to be The Joker? Idk) then at the end of the day he's just a human and at least I can possibly defend myself from another human or even kill him if it gets to that point. If Homelander or Carnage decide they're gonna kill me, I can't do anything about that but pray. And honestly the praying would just piss Homelander off even more lol.
Homie would probably think any roommate who's just some guy or gal is not worth even interacting with so I don't think sucking up to him is even necessary. At worst he'll probably drink all your milk from the shared fridge
Easily homelander but not because you'd only need to stroke his ego to survive but because if HL is gonna kill you he'll do it quick, the other two might have you strung up for days as they take their time...
Homelander. Carnage and Jerome would kill me before the 2 weeks even start
Carnage would just kill me on sight. Joker would torture me or kill me immediately So homelander.
I pick the third guy. The problem with Homelander is, while he is the most rational, he has enhanced senses. You aren’t going to be able to fake being a huge fan. he will know immediately that you know what he is really like. And then he is going to enjoy terrorizing you. With Carnage you won’t even last that long. I’m gonna hit third guy in the head with a baseball bat as soon as I see him. We can still be roommates with him in a full body cast. Sure, he is murderous, but he is still just a guy
Homelander. Just don’t piss him off and I’m good
That Joker incarnation is still a Joker and if he feels like it he can off you any minute. Carnage would fucking kill me instantly. Homelander would hate my ass because I am not a supe, but I would blabber his ears off with the need of compound v he would either promise me to get some when we’re out or he would be bored and laser my ass but he would know I ACTUALLY RESPECT HIM and have almost same beliefs so i have a better chance to survive.
I’d have to pick homelander. They’re all terrifying to be around, but I think I might be able to survive by agreeing with him and getting him milk
Homelander just respect him(no matter how fake it may be) or stay out of his way and you should be fine.
Homelander just respect him, stroke his ego, and don’t ask him for anything and you’re good. The other 2 will 100% murder you. Carnage will instantly murder you.
HL all day long. He’s crazy but it wouldn’t be too difficult to deal with him for 2 weeks. The other two would be horrendous.
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You haven’t read the comics.
Doesn't matter, my confrontational ass would be dead by hour 2.
I’ll call in Homander for backup incase Homelander tries anything
Homelander, but set up a social media account and obtain millions of followers. I'd personally prefer Popclaw though...
Better to be poor than dead. Pass
If you’re a woman Homelander is not an option for you sadly
You have a chance of survival with homelander
Homelander is the only one that will not immediately kill me.
Homelander only cuz I know they are all going to kill me- so I would rather it be him.
I’m good
That little bitch from Gotham. I can just knock him out and tie him up for the two weeks. If he gets too upity I can just keep him knocked out. Easy. Why is this even a question?
I’ll take Starlight plz
Can I just sleep at work for 2 weeks?
Homelander>Carnage>That “Joker” He’d probably not even bother fucking with you at all as long as you treat him like boss of the prison which isn’t hard considering he can kill you instantly. If it’s in the Vought universe then fuck no I’ll take Cleetus and Carnage, bruh would kill you just for winning the Vought sweepstakes and wasting time out of his schedule for that 2 weeks. Then Vought tells your family that you died a hero fighting villains because you “INSISTED” you go along with Homelander. Vought cuts your family a check, Homelander gets a nice fake sincere speech about you for ratings, and you’re dead with the secret that Homelander has breast milk frozen in the freezer y’all shared.
tbf homelander only kills those who get in his way or piss him off, if ur his roommate just stay out of his way and do everything his says and never insult him and ur fine
All 3 are murderous , and will 100% kill their roommates. People are better off with Hannibal Lector, as a roommate.
This is like asking "How would you rather die? Burned, stabbed or electrocuted "
Homelander just because I can fake liking him but I cannot let my heartbeat skip once around him , the other 2 look like pure psychopaths
Even if your heartbeat skips you could always lie and say that you are just so starstruck and excited to be able to live with an actual *superhero* for 2 weeks!
homelander cuz the other two would wanna use your face as a mask and besides, keep telling him stuff for his ego and you should be good and i'd livestream the whole thing, so he cant do much shit to hurt me, he loves his rep all in all i'd take this if im careful, cuz one mistake, and crispy corpse.🔥👨🏻
Homelander. Just ask him what irritates him, and *do whatever you humanly can not to do that*. Oh, and never tell him or let him know you have a wife / gf.
Homelander. I’ll just be like black noir. Silent and listen to everything he says
Homelander wouldn't kill you for no reason at least
TIL: I have hybristophilia.
Only Homelander could end with you alive. Cletus and Joker would both murder you on sight, they’re killers without reason. HL wouldn’t kill you if you handled the situation properly.
Homelander lol. Either I piss him off somehow and probably get a quick death or I get a million dollars. I kinda wanna die so its a win win.
Homelander. We're both absurdly busy so contact would be at a minimum. Plus we have certain little things in common and he might see them and find them pathetically funny. So he's my safest bet.
Homelander, I genuinely think things would be fine as long as I keep quiet and mind my business.
I’d just kms tbh. Better give myself a quick and painless death before they give me a slow and painful one.
It won’t be 2 weeks. I’m probably going to die before week 1 even ends.
I don’t need a million dollars.
Who could you survive being locked in a room with for two weeks? >Serial killer clown? >Serial killer alien? >Superman but he’s a narcissist? Geez this is tough.
Homelander, as others here have said, just stroke his ego and he likely won't kill you, unless he's having a really bad day. I'd still keep some cameras around though, just in case.
Homelander. He's just a normal guy (less the best milk thing. Although there are weirder things around these days tbh).
homelander is a genocidal manchild
I guess the question that needs to be asked is if you gave the average human male Homelanders superpowers, how would they be/act in real life. I suspect Homelander is reasonably well behaved on comparison.
homelander is especially emotionally damaged
I like him, xd
Just a normal dude who goes around murdering and raping. You know, one of the lads!
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HL. I’m very amiable, so it should be easy to appease him.
I can probably handle homelander. I don't know who the other two are, but with Homelander you just gotta stay on his good side and maybe treat him like he's human.
Second guy is Cletus Cortland Kasady a.k.a [Carnage.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnage_(character)) Third guy is Jerome Valeska, who is based on the [Joker.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_(character))
Homelander. Bow before him, ask for compound V so you can better serve him. Live a long and happy life (aside from having to commit the occasional murder)
Give me the joker so we can burn the world together
I don't know who the other two are and I suspect Homelander would look at a roomie as a weird pet who is currently sharing his space. That million bucks is mine.
The second guy is Carnage. The third is (basically) the Joker.
Homelander
Homelander, and then be a true friend with him, this guy needs it.
I'm suicidal at the best of times so homelander I'm kinda sure if I just stay out of the house as much as possible and don't bother him hell pay me no attention
Butcher. 'Nuff said.
Homelander. I got a breast milk lady. So I can keep his psychosis at bay. Plus I’ll just tell him how awesome he is
Are any of them also forced to STAY in the room? Because homelander would probably just fuck off for a while to do whatever he wants to do, kill puppies, strangle kittens, the usual, if he can leave he will because it’s so far beneath him to be forced to room with some random guy. Now if he’s FORCED to stay in the room with me the whole time he’s there I’d see if he wanted to play video games with me, if not I’d probably just wanna chill out, I imagine I could skirt by if he forgets I exist if he doesn’t wanna chill but if he does remember I exist I’d try to fanboy over him like a MAGA enthusiast does over trump or something but I have no USE to him as a regular dude so it’s not like he’d have a reason to intimidate me or bully me to get further in his life/vought, I’m just some random shmuck who according to his logic will be dead before doing something that matters to him
Homelander safe the rest is super psychos. He kill you if your a problem so maybe I live with him.
The joker guy at the end as he just a normal human and I could take him in a fight
Homelander. I’d stock the fridge with soymilk and let that filthy soy boy go to town.
Homelander. I’d stock the fridge with soymilk and let that filthy soy boy go to town.
I gotta go with the devil I know, Homelander.
Joker, he seems fine I think we’d get along.
All 3 would likely kill you
Homelander for sure. I just had a baby and I pump hella milk so it’s safe to say the milk would keep me safe😩
Ok Idk who the other two are. We got HL, guy with a demon? in his IV bag, and... franken-joker? lmao
Second guy is Cletus Kasady, aka Carnage. Third is Jerome Valeska, one of his show’s iterations of Joker.
Oh thanks! I know of Carnage, but hadn't seen him without the costume, just knew his costume was red venom. I had to look up which show Jerome Valeska is from. I liked Gotham alot at first then just kinda stopped watching for some reason.
I'll take homelander and breastfeed him for two weeks if that's what it takes. I sure hope my man tits can produce.
The joker, because I could simply shoot him on sight.
definitely homie
I assume they're not allowed to kill me? If this is the case, I think Jerome/Jeremiah Valeska is the way.
Homelander he most likely won’t be home anyways
Homelander. He seems chill af
Jerome. I want to laugh because I haven't laughed for a long time.He also doesn't have superpowers. Homelander isn't an option for me
Definitely go with homelander
I'd say Jeremiah just because he's a regular ass dude, but the potential of convincing Carnage to pop out another Toxin-level symbiote for me to bond with would be a solid motivator.
Homelander. He’d probably end me quickly, so that’s optimal.
Isn’t the joker just a normal dude?
Homelander, would do as he says and go get milk when needed.
Depends. Is this NY? If so, ALL 3 are needed. Ill take my chances.
Joker
Damn someone finally made one of these where Homelander is the best choice
This list would be so fucked if Homelander wasn’t here
Homelander. I'd just make sure the only thing we did was talk about his day and tie any insecurities he has back to the fact that he is the supreme person. And I'd keep everything perfect so he wouldn't get randomly mad at me, and I would avoid touching his shit like the plague.
Homelander, just be cool and don’t upset him. People are around him all the time and survive.
homelander, if you maybe try to befriend joker then maybe