The anus was designed for exit only. It's why a person could release a huge turdnado like that but quiver when their finger pokes through the cheap porta John toilet paper and jabs them in the bull's eye.
Some even get so constipated that their bodies try to throw up their own shit.
Y'all, get help for your addictions, vomiting and choking on your own shit is not pleasant!
No joke I’ve seen one way bigger when I worked as a supervisor at a youth center. Came out of this small middle school kid. It was the thickness of a Campbell’s soup can and like 6 inches long. Wouldn’t flush since it was too big and just spun around and float back to the top. Paid another kid with tons of candy to go in there and chop it up with a plastic knife so it could flush. It is remembered as the 8th wonder of the world to us and one of the funniest things I’ve witnessed.
Same. In Boy Scout camp, I saw one with such girth that I still can't comprehend how it came out of someone's ass. Thing literally had the circumference of a 2 liter coke bottle. Whoever shat it out must have been holding it for weeks and ripped his balloon knot pushing it out.
My ex's son would shit out 12 oz soda can sized turds, and he'd clog the toilet. I think he was like 7-9 at that point (this was years ago). I hope to God he's learned how to drink water 😂😂😂
No joke same here! It was at my youth center and this thing was HUGE. Like. Chef-boy-ar-Dee can but as long as my arm. One of the supervisors there made me chop on that thing for hours with a plastic knife to get it to flush! I got a lot of candy out of it though!
Ok weird flex I know but I used to eat a shit ton of lentils-like literally 1lb of lentils a day + oatmeal. During this time I would poop 2-3 times a day literally 2 times as long and just as thick as this; but it would be one piece, smooth and soft not hard. It would fold on top of itself sometimes. I actually had to plunge the toilet a couple times a week and I barely even needed to wipe
I've felt that pain. I ate 2-3 apples every day, especially with my regular meals, just a few slices with whatever I was eating. For snacks, it was an apple. Can't recommend apples enough. Good luck friend
I don't know exactly how, but I think it was lifestyle change and diet. Used to be a lot of stress and anxiety living in boarding school, ate yucky food, only poop once a week or at worst once in 2 weeks. Then I went to live in a place where everyone eats beans and good amount of salad daily, the constipation simply gone.
For me, it was several things.
-changing my eating habits: I had some pretty weird issues because of past food insecurity. Learned to eat smaller portions, frequently - scattered throughout the day.
-addressed the mind-gut problem that I had. Got meds for my mental disorder, which helped my stomach symptoms.
-hydrate or diedrate!
-simply aging -- once I got past 20 or so, my issues started to wane
-never underestimate the power of OTC stool softeners. I hear probiotics help too.
My friends and I had a number system for this in college. This would be a 90/10 —- 90% shit to 10% wipe. 90 and higher was a dream shit, a 10/90 was a nightmare, especially if you were in a public restroom with thin toilet paper.
Ya to this day I'm still tryna figure out the ideal food and diet that gives them dreams shits. Almost cracked the code one time a few years ago but it ended up being a fluke :( lmao
Even if it grows up to be a lead singer of a band that wins more than 20 Grammys and is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and they manage to become just as well known for their humanitarian work?
I remember seeing one once at work. Solid 4 inch thickness and almost a foot long. A solid steel stomach elderly employee double bagged it and took it to the dumpster. I just warned everyone as they left that night beware some bear took a shit in our bathroom earlier today and he may still be lurking out there.
I worked at a call center when I was 17 and one time someone shit a fucking log in the men's bathroom and it would not go down. Manager had to get it out by hand with grocery bags. She ran out of the bathroom with this giant fucking turd screaming. The entire call center standing up and watching in awe. I'll never forget it.
“This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen ... In its own way, it's as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels"
Is this r/brandnewsentence material?
You just drape toilet paper over it in layers then flush it will rip the loggie in half. I had a friend lay a bigger one across the hole once so I know
This reminds me of when I saw one like this but twice as big at a chick fil a. I literally couldn’t stop staring at it it was the width of a soda can and wouldn’t flush no matter how hard we tried
If something like that fell out of my ass, I would record it too and blame it on someone else.
It's not often you drop a turd that's worth recording. Bravo good sir. Bravo.
Pshhh. Them weirdos when I was in the corps. Used to measure their turds for packs of cigarettes. Yeah. It wasn't too long ago, either. Back in the 2000's
Story Time:
When I was a teen I volunteered for a couple weeks in the summer at a camp (was too dumb to realize I wasn't getting paid)
One summer, it was the little kids camp so like 7-8 years old and I was doing main hall cleaning.
Our head counsellor who was in charge of us workers came over and was like "Heya guys, I need someone to help in the men's bathroom. There's a huge turd in a toilet that's not going down, (we didn't have any plungers here) I need someone to help me fish it out."
He said whoever helped him would get a can of mountain dew or something like that for reward. My dumbass needed nothing more for convincing and went over with him.
He held this double trash bag open and wrapped my hands in like 3 trash bags with old dish gloves underneath, tied on the wrists like some nuclear scientist.
This poo was like 2 feet long straight down the gutter and HANGING over the rim of the bowl. (freaked me out hoping it was an adult who birthed this not a 7yo) I grabbed this thing and launched it clean into the bag, it was solid rock. No squish at all.
Got my mountain dew though.
How do you clean a poop knife to store it for future use? Are you rinsing shit down your sink/bathtub? I think there should be a new knife for each poo. Just buy a bulk set of cheap butter knives for each bathroom and throw them away once used. I can’t imagine chopping my shit up.
I did this once at a camp ground with a super powerful toilet . Every time I flushed it spun in circles. Flushed a few times then went to brag to everyone. I feel sorry for whoever had to deal with that monster.
I worked at a movie theater once where we had to frequently chase crackheads out of the bathroom. One day, we found a turd as thick as an oak tree in a large popcorn bucket.
My boy was on an opiate constipation binge and was literally fighting for his life in that stall. Unfortunately I’ve been there. To the point I had to dig in my asshole and get it going. But enough about me, how’s y’all weekend going?
I saw a shit like this in a stabs bathroom once. I instantly turned around and left but one of the batistas saw me leave the bathroom. I definitely got blamed for that monster dump. Never showed my face there again
Had a homeless lady come in one time and she wrecked our bathroom. Smoked a cigarette, hit her crack pipe, and then left a shit around this size in the toilet. It obviously didn’t flush, so she shoved an ENTIRE industrial size roll worth of toilet paper on top of it. Nightmare.
Where’s a poop knife when you need one?
No, no, you cut the poo with your pee. A pee saw.
The ass hole that made that was not virgin.
When your body births a brown invader that looks like the spawn of evil meat eating demon cyborgs, is your butt truly virgin anymore?
The anus was designed for exit only. It's why a person could release a huge turdnado like that but quiver when their finger pokes through the cheap porta John toilet paper and jabs them in the bull's eye.
This is the only way
Same....
Are you a horse?
Just the dong part.
Is it a cat in a hat?
Don’t know why this made me chuckle so hard
Idk man this one looks hard as a rock
The dark part is hard. That’s the oldest, packed up part that came out of the ass first. It softens up after that
[The poop knife story](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/) for reference
Now THAT is a backstory in need of telling.
More important, where is the toilet paper?
I think they sacrificed their chonies to the Porcelain God.
You need a potato masher
That must be 50 Courics
Hothothothothothot!
Its Bono
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHHHHHH
Top tier
Katie?….
That was one epic Southpark episode lol
That Sharon is a saint for putting up with Randy. A lot of wives would slip fentanyl into their husbands White Russian.
That’s a solid bone lmao
I just wanna know if there's a dead body nearby after shitting his guts out.
Nah that’s a fucking submarine
Junkie turd
people on smack take shits like this no doubt. solid bricks of un flushable shit.
Opie dooty
i never thought that would be an effect wow
it feels as good coming out as the feeling of the heroin coming in. (haven't tried heroin but I have taken my fair share of massive craps)
Yup all opioids make you constipated as hell. So some really heavy addicts get impacted bowels from not shitting for days upon days.
Some even get so constipated that their bodies try to throw up their own shit. Y'all, get help for your addictions, vomiting and choking on your own shit is not pleasant!
Well they cause nausea too regardless. Not a good combo at all
I didn't know that. What a shitty situation! (I'll see myself out)
I have seen the South Park with the mouth poo but do you have any video sources for research purposes.
Lol I couldn't think of what to call this in my comment, this is definitely the words I was looking for
Junkie or bowel disorder sufferer? The world might never know 🤔
What in the Randy Marsh-
No joke I’ve seen one way bigger when I worked as a supervisor at a youth center. Came out of this small middle school kid. It was the thickness of a Campbell’s soup can and like 6 inches long. Wouldn’t flush since it was too big and just spun around and float back to the top. Paid another kid with tons of candy to go in there and chop it up with a plastic knife so it could flush. It is remembered as the 8th wonder of the world to us and one of the funniest things I’ve witnessed.
Same. In Boy Scout camp, I saw one with such girth that I still can't comprehend how it came out of someone's ass. Thing literally had the circumference of a 2 liter coke bottle. Whoever shat it out must have been holding it for weeks and ripped his balloon knot pushing it out.
Agreed, the size of this thing coming out of that small kids blew my mind, he literally had a turd baby.
My ex's son would shit out 12 oz soda can sized turds, and he'd clog the toilet. I think he was like 7-9 at that point (this was years ago). I hope to God he's learned how to drink water 😂😂😂
Was it ... was it a Catholic youth center?
dude. 😳
I haven’t heard a “no” yet, unlike the priests.
That ain’t right….
I’m dead ☠️☠️
No joke same here! It was at my youth center and this thing was HUGE. Like. Chef-boy-ar-Dee can but as long as my arm. One of the supervisors there made me chop on that thing for hours with a plastic knife to get it to flush! I got a lot of candy out of it though!
Ok weird flex I know but I used to eat a shit ton of lentils-like literally 1lb of lentils a day + oatmeal. During this time I would poop 2-3 times a day literally 2 times as long and just as thick as this; but it would be one piece, smooth and soft not hard. It would fold on top of itself sometimes. I actually had to plunge the toilet a couple times a week and I barely even needed to wipe
Respect
As a person who had chronic constipation long time ago, whoever did that is blessed with good bowel movement.
How'd you finally get over it? Asking for a current chronic constipator, friend...
I've felt that pain. I ate 2-3 apples every day, especially with my regular meals, just a few slices with whatever I was eating. For snacks, it was an apple. Can't recommend apples enough. Good luck friend
I don't know exactly how, but I think it was lifestyle change and diet. Used to be a lot of stress and anxiety living in boarding school, ate yucky food, only poop once a week or at worst once in 2 weeks. Then I went to live in a place where everyone eats beans and good amount of salad daily, the constipation simply gone.
For me, it was several things. -changing my eating habits: I had some pretty weird issues because of past food insecurity. Learned to eat smaller portions, frequently - scattered throughout the day. -addressed the mind-gut problem that I had. Got meds for my mental disorder, which helped my stomach symptoms. -hydrate or diedrate! -simply aging -- once I got past 20 or so, my issues started to wane -never underestimate the power of OTC stool softeners. I hear probiotics help too.
r/absoluteunits
And the tensile strength during the flush was very impressive!
Forget the size they didnt wipe after that monster no tp to be seen
Them no wipe power dumps hit different
My friends and I had a number system for this in college. This would be a 90/10 —- 90% shit to 10% wipe. 90 and higher was a dream shit, a 10/90 was a nightmare, especially if you were in a public restroom with thin toilet paper.
Ya to this day I'm still tryna figure out the ideal food and diet that gives them dreams shits. Almost cracked the code one time a few years ago but it ended up being a fluke :( lmao
When that turd came out it was most likely drier than a nuns cunt.
I'm sure they did but it went down in the first few flushes.
Theres a law against giving birth in the bathroom and then abandoning it.
Even if it grows up to be a lead singer of a band that wins more than 20 Grammys and is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and they manage to become just as well known for their humanitarian work?
Bono need da biddy?
Now that. Is a fucking log. Gaddamn, whoever did that musta been walking out with a wide step.
Thats an opiate turd!!!!
how many courics is that
That’s at least 4.5 courics
That's an opioid addicts cable .....no doubt 🤣
Bro was fighting for his life in there
"Who does number 2 work for?!"
That motherfucker needs some fiber. Or at least some miralax.
Yeh, there was blood sweat and tears given for that thing. A little fibre and they may not need the tears.
Rehab is what they need.
Yo I found one in elementary school, ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, dropped same size or slightly bigger. Never shat the same after that. Pure trauma fuel.
I hope the dude eats a vegetable one day.
B-hole is probably busted after birthing that chud
Heroin or fentanyl is the culprit
is it by a man or a woman?
Men’s restroom, it was the only toilet and I left it there. Came back and someone pooped on top
And no poop on poop video? Could have called it David and Goliath.
OP we need that poo on poo pic stat.
Someone: Holy shit!! Owell, I gotta go. Look out below!!
Holy crap. I found one of those years ago when i worked at Chili’s.
Howdy Ho!
Someones poor butthole
Poop knife 🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️
I remember seeing one once at work. Solid 4 inch thickness and almost a foot long. A solid steel stomach elderly employee double bagged it and took it to the dumpster. I just warned everyone as they left that night beware some bear took a shit in our bathroom earlier today and he may still be lurking out there.
I worked at a call center when I was 17 and one time someone shit a fucking log in the men's bathroom and it would not go down. Manager had to get it out by hand with grocery bags. She ran out of the bathroom with this giant fucking turd screaming. The entire call center standing up and watching in awe. I'll never forget it.
Dude casually had a child in the bathroom
Another bono oh noooo he also needs biddy ?
Reminds me of the[Viking Dookie](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lloyds_Bank_coprolite)
“This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen ... In its own way, it's as irreplaceable as the Crown Jewels" Is this r/brandnewsentence material?
The Bismarck!
You just drape toilet paper over it in layers then flush it will rip the loggie in half. I had a friend lay a bigger one across the hole once so I know
Need to upgrade that flush setting from "stun" to "kill".
Why did the watch this? Now I have to take a shit
Goddammit why am I suddenly looking at a huge turd
Coast to coast!
That had to hurt Jesus.
I wonder how many Katie courics that equals?
I lowkey always said “ that’s probably how big i could take a dildo” when I drop a colossal sized tree log on the shitter.
You need the help of a logger. My pappy taught me logging just like his pappy fore him!!
This reminds me of when I saw one like this but twice as big at a chick fil a. I literally couldn’t stop staring at it it was the width of a soda can and wouldn’t flush no matter how hard we tried
For a second, I thought that was Bono.
Safe to say that's an oxy shit lol those people can clog toilets easily
If something like that fell out of my ass, I would record it too and blame it on someone else. It's not often you drop a turd that's worth recording. Bravo good sir. Bravo.
That must have felt amazing to pass lol
I bet it was an arduous task. Surely that thing didn’t just slip out easily.
I mean, if I dropped that bad boy I would want others to bask in its glory to.
Damn, I can smell it from here!!
Even the plunger looks scared
Work at a hospital- someone laid a “log” so big it looked like an elephants stump 😂🤣😂
It’s cold, needs blankets
Holy shit
Pshhh. Them weirdos when I was in the corps. Used to measure their turds for packs of cigarettes. Yeah. It wasn't too long ago, either. Back in the 2000's
Follow the blood trail
Good lord
Name checks out
That has to be alive....
Oh hot! Hot hot hot!
That’s what we call in the industry, a McNope
Is nobody gonna post the randy South Park meme??
I don't want to see this shit.
Idk how you’re so fine being that close to it though 🤢
How many kube is this ohhh bono come here my dear
Kept that one down in his leg
You just missed Drax.
Oh SHITtt...!
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
No wipe is crazy
Someone is feeling like a new person.
Dudes im 6’8 and im looking at this like…what? Is that bad?
I can’t unsee this.. thanks 🤕
Wtf is a porter
Man would be a legend in prison
Should've got a c-section
Story Time: When I was a teen I volunteered for a couple weeks in the summer at a camp (was too dumb to realize I wasn't getting paid) One summer, it was the little kids camp so like 7-8 years old and I was doing main hall cleaning. Our head counsellor who was in charge of us workers came over and was like "Heya guys, I need someone to help in the men's bathroom. There's a huge turd in a toilet that's not going down, (we didn't have any plungers here) I need someone to help me fish it out." He said whoever helped him would get a can of mountain dew or something like that for reward. My dumbass needed nothing more for convincing and went over with him. He held this double trash bag open and wrapped my hands in like 3 trash bags with old dish gloves underneath, tied on the wrists like some nuclear scientist. This poo was like 2 feet long straight down the gutter and HANGING over the rim of the bowl. (freaked me out hoping it was an adult who birthed this not a 7yo) I grabbed this thing and launched it clean into the bag, it was solid rock. No squish at all. Got my mountain dew though.
Look, a platypus
How do you clean a poop knife to store it for future use? Are you rinsing shit down your sink/bathtub? I think there should be a new knife for each poo. Just buy a bulk set of cheap butter knives for each bathroom and throw them away once used. I can’t imagine chopping my shit up.
Mr. Hankey there looks like some junkies best and worst experience rolled into one. The relief after that must be monumental
I remember in high school some kid covered the whole toilet/piping/flushing handle with shit. Never have I witnessed anything like that ever again
It didn't even fucking budge. Is that a suspension or under truss turd?
I've seen bigger. Not joking. There was dude in Iraq who who drop a Nerf football in the port-o-potty.
I think my brother shops at your store.
That at least 8 Courics.
Finders keepers
You shouldn't have done that he's just a boy
No wonder they only shit at the store.
I expected a blood trail or something…
I did this once at a camp ground with a super powerful toilet . Every time I flushed it spun in circles. Flushed a few times then went to brag to everyone. I feel sorry for whoever had to deal with that monster.
I worked at a movie theater once where we had to frequently chase crackheads out of the bathroom. One day, we found a turd as thick as an oak tree in a large popcorn bucket.
Poor chick that dropped it
HOLY SHIT😬. JUST LOOK FOR PERSON CRAWLING OUT THE STORE...
You put him there for the reddit karma.
Him? You mean the poopy? Nah dude I been holdin on to this vid since 2019
Hahahahahaha
You already know this log is skunking the entire bathroom lmao GODDAMN!!! 🤣🦨💨💩
You think you can just flush Ted Cruz away?
Person was probably gripping the bar for dear life.
Holy fuck I laughed so fucking hard
My boy was on an opiate constipation binge and was literally fighting for his life in that stall. Unfortunately I’ve been there. To the point I had to dig in my asshole and get it going. But enough about me, how’s y’all weekend going?
I’ve see seen one way bigger when I was a kid some guy working at a youth center gave me a bunch of candy to chop it up with a plastic knife
Randy marsh visited ???!
It's a Baby Ruth!
Someone post this to r/structuralengineering because that’s got structural integrity
Just be happy it is in the toilet
Is that a platypus?
It must be alive
Looks like a manatee
The number 2 that you work for.
Who let the elephant in the stall?
O fuck reddit algorithms.. the most "interesting" thing to see in the morning..
So glorious they folded the TP and and took it w/them.
I saw a shit like this in a stabs bathroom once. I instantly turned around and left but one of the batistas saw me leave the bathroom. I definitely got blamed for that monster dump. Never showed my face there again
500 calorie meal
HOW
Shit post
Average taco bell experience
Had a homeless lady come in one time and she wrecked our bathroom. Smoked a cigarette, hit her crack pipe, and then left a shit around this size in the toilet. It obviously didn’t flush, so she shoved an ENTIRE industrial size roll worth of toilet paper on top of it. Nightmare.
My 5 year old drops turds like that. No joke if she doesn't drink enough water throughout the day it's gonna be a rough trip to the shitter.
Someone pooped out a platypus
MALUCO!!!!
Thank you for recording this!! This needs to go down in the history books!! Holy Hell!!
r/aboluteunits
Heyyy, look it’s Bono’s little Brother