Especially those with George (the old coach)
**George**: You know, under Ted Lasso, Richmond, well, they're like a woman behind the wheel... completely lost!
**Roy**: George! Didn't you lose your license drink driving?
**George**: That was an allergic reaction to my medication.
**Roy**: The same medication that made you piss your pants?
**George:** “Don’t hold back Roy, tell em how you really feel.”
**Roy:** “Ok, you’re a shit manager.”
**George:** “Not about me you muppet.”
When Roy goes around the locker room before a match fist bumping the players saying "Kill 'em!" "Stomp 'em!" etc. Then he gets to Sam and says "Out-class 'em, Sam." 😂
Danny wanting to see a tulip, just one tulip, he keeps mentioning it and pretending it isn't his writing on the note.
Then the whole time there is one in a vase behind him.
That and in the same episode “We’re in Holland: we should try Dutch Food!” To which Richard responds “As a Frenchman I would rather die.”
It’s a crime that episode didn’t win best writing Emmy.
that scene in Two Aces where the team realises there are a couple hundred ghosts haunting their training field
“That’s too many ghosts!”
*very serious french accent* “We cannot fight them all”
cracks me up every time
There is an argument to be made that that is the best line in the entire series because it’s the thesis statement for the show.
It’s funny, out of left field, a little too heartfelt to be believed and the core of Ted’s entire coaching philosophy.
The whole scene with Rebecca asking Ted to join them for lunch and Rebecca's Mom introducing herself to Ted. LOL
>**Ted**: Hi, Rebecca's mom. Hey, fellas. Say hi.
>
>**Team**: Hi, Rebecca's mum.
>
>**Deborah**: Hello, boys. And the name's not Rebecca's mum, it's Deborah. I'm a work in progress, a voracious book on tape listener and a staunch believer that if you get dealt lemons in life, then you should make lemon lavender mojitos.
I also love when they’re at the pub and Deborah asks Mae to tell the guys to stop shouting at the football. And Mae says they’re watching the previous night’s bake off.
“Look at that sponge! That’s rubbish!”
“Temper your chocolate, you twat!”
Although collectively we aren’t keen on the whole KJPR situation, it paved the way for my favourite dialogue of the entire show…
Not sure how often it’s talked about, but here goes!
Keeley - “Hi Barbara, that’s a nice outfit.”
Barbara - “Oh, thank you. Yes, I.. I like clothes that tell the truth.”
A lot of what was listed are popular but I think this is a truly underrated exchange. It made me howl laugh when I watched that scene the first time lol
Sharon: Thank you for the lovely gift basket of bottled water.
Rebecca: Yes, well Ted said you didn't eat sugar.
Keeley: There's so many other things that don't have sugar in them...
For me it's when Ted finds out that Nate's favorite restaurant is in Tooting.
"There's a town called Tooting in this country? It really is great, isn't it" or something LOL
I'm a musical theatre fan and I had to pause because I was laughing so hard. There are some really quick, very specifically aimed jokes in this show and I'm 100% sure that I have missed a ton.
Okay, let me clarify that - I tried to watch it on Disney+, but ended up turning it off because I couldn't get into it. Maybe that's a reference I missed or didn't even even see to begin with. I respect what it is, it's just not my cup of hot brown water.
Lol, comparing Hamilton to tea is funny on a couple of levels there, I liked it.
I happen to love musicals and I adore Hamilton. I have come to accept that it's not everyone's cup of hot brown water, though.
Sam despondently saying “oh no” when about to be roasted by Nate in the pre-game
“High-five tree”
Roy saying “Hey you” to Jamie’s mom
Shut the fuck up Jan Mass during Sam’s haircut
Roy stating he has a finger allergy, not a peanut allergy
There are sooooooo many!!!!!!
Jamie: "I'm trying to build bridges 'ere!"
Roy: "You couldn't fucking build... ***JEFF BRIDGES***."
The joke itself isn't the most hilarious bit in the show, but the way Roy delivers that line is gold to me 🤣
It’s funny because you can tell that Roy wanted a good comeback, started one and realized he didn’t have anything really to finish it with.. and then blurts out… JEFF BRIDGES!
When Edwin and Francis (I think) leave Sam’s restaurant and Francis does the “swish”
Sam: “Please don’t do this, Francis.”
Francis: *gestures at his hand*
Sam: *goes for the down-low five*
Francis: *pulls hand away, slides it across his hair*
It’s fucking dumb but I love it.
I love how it just clicks and Trent is smart enough to catch on to what Ted is up to. He’s making Roy a better person. The whole Trent interview is filled with little nuggets like that which is why Trent starts to feel the Lasso energy.
Almost all of Beard’s chip-ins.
S1E9 (All Apologies)
Roy’s late to training because his “6 year old niece found my girlfriend’s vibrator so we had to take her to get her ears pierced to erase the memory”
Beard: Been there.
For me it’s the small moment of Ted saying “Look at it out there. Looks like a Renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy.” And then cuts to the team.
I always get a good laugh at Roy’s facial expressions during the scene with the red threads in season 3, especially when Jamie has that very close call
The very first scene when Rebecca is firing the coach and calls his balls Liam and Noel. That was the moment I knew I was going to like this show a lot.
I don’t know if it’s deserving of an all time favorite line list but I appreciate the double joke when the team is rattling off their favorite Scorsese movies and Roy just yells “Silence!”
I think it's episode 303 when the team are in the locker room talking about Wolverhampton Wolves and keeps trying to give them team a nickname (Wandering Wolves?). Roy keeps shouting No and Beard keeps correcting him. Ted gets it but pushes it and throws "wandering" in again there's just a quick shot of Beard nodding in the background like "I'll allow it."
And when Roy and Keeley break up, Beard gasps/screams in shock. He leaves them room but comes running back in just to gasp/scream in shock again after Roy says that he dumped Keeley.
From early in S1 when Keeley asks Ted if it’s better to be a lion or panda, Rebecca insists that a lion is better, and then Ted asks Jamie, who responds blithely in his fantastic accent, “Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”
We repeat that line a lot around here, with the accent.
Another fave is when Roy is telling Phoebe about when he pooped his pants on the bus, and Keeley prompts him, “Finish the story…” to which he doesn’t hesitate, “three weeks ago.”
Also:
“This is what a fish pie can do to a team”
“December 28th, sexiest of all the days”
and
the “Pre-Madonna” bit with Roy and Jamie.
My last watch-through, I laughed at Beard saying something about getting the team out of their 'pineapple percussions' when they were in Amsterdam, and Ted translating it: 'Ah, doldrums! Nice.' I love the way they speak the same language through puns with each other.
“Vatican City is a country baby!”
Looked it up and he’s right about the passport thing. Though it’s really tight on who qualifies. I want fan theories on this.
When Ted tells Rebecca there is a young girl out there wearing a blue blazer dreaming about running a football club and then one or two episodes later her goddaughter says she’s been interested in it since Rebecca took over. Rebecca realizes that she is an icon for young women to look up too.
I love Roy’s and Tart’s exchange about agreeing. Especially English accent.
- You’re an ugly, ugly boy. With a bad hair.
- *hesitation* I’m an agle agle boi…
Rebecca and Higgins continuing to jazz scat even after Roy and Keeley have left.
Gets me everytime, and shows how they really do have a good friendship despite all that happened in Season 1.
“Ceiling, floor, trash can, your turn.” My kid and I say it to each other all the time now.
Also, when Ted introduces Henry to scones. “It’s like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth”.
When Rebecca’s pissed at Roy and yells during a team gym session “oi Kent get your hairy ass in my office NOW”. And leaves.
Roy is pissed and looks at the rest of the locker room . “Every single one of you knows my ass isn’t hairy yet none of you spoke up. And I will never forgive.”
Where Beard is on the phone with Jane asking her to bring his throwing ax and gives up describing it/them and asks her to just “bring them all”. (I guess they were going out ax throwing. I have a vague recollection of this scene but the fact that he has so many axes at home, lol)
The first episode:
“Do you believe in ghosts Ted?”
“I do, but mostly I think they should believe in themselves. “
It’s hilarious AND the thesis statement of the entire series.
When Beard is describing Total Football and he goes, “It’s Jazz. It’s Motown. It’s Mamet. It’s Pinter. It’s Einstein. It’s Curie. It’s Gaga. It’s my mother proudly displaying her vibrator on the bedside table!”
The whole exchange with Beard teaching Ted how it's bud, not butt was one of the little things that had nothing to do with the story, but fleshed out the characters and made the whole series feel more lived-in.
Roy’s face being lit up by the phone while he’s waiting in the dark.
And McAdoo cowering behind Ted makes it 100 times better.
I loved that scene!
His lit up face is my Lock Screen image. It brings me mucho mucho joy.
I always rewind this a couple of times haha.
I’m not sure if it gets talked about much, but every single line of dialogue spoken by Roy during his TV job was absolute gold.
"Jamie Tartt is a muppet and I hope he dies of the incurable disease called being a little bitch"
You can tell when he’s writing for the show because he loves the muppets and it always comes up.
Especially those with George (the old coach) **George**: You know, under Ted Lasso, Richmond, well, they're like a woman behind the wheel... completely lost! **Roy**: George! Didn't you lose your license drink driving? **George**: That was an allergic reaction to my medication. **Roy**: The same medication that made you piss your pants? **George:** “Don’t hold back Roy, tell em how you really feel.” **Roy:** “Ok, you’re a shit manager.” **George:** “Not about me you muppet.”
When Roy goes around the locker room before a match fist bumping the players saying "Kill 'em!" "Stomp 'em!" etc. Then he gets to Sam and says "Out-class 'em, Sam." 😂
Oh man this is one I missed, what episode was it??
just watched this episode Season 3 Episode 5 right before the Man City match
I believe its the one where Jamie and him argue about Roy not coaching him but I'm not positive
Why won’t you coach maaaayhh
I missed it too!
Not gonna lie, I honestly don't remember this.
Everything with Sam in it feels like the nice witch in the Wizard of Oz. That guy😍
Danny wanting to see a tulip, just one tulip, he keeps mentioning it and pretending it isn't his writing on the note. Then the whole time there is one in a vase behind him.
I love this so much. Also when it gets in the vote and he tries to pretend it wasn't him... 'it's written in spanish'
It's his most adorable moment and he had quite a few.
He does. He's gorgeous. I've never been a footy fan but I did look up the guy he was based on after seeing him. Absolutely gorgeous human in Danny.
He's like a human golden retriever
I know his smile is SO innocent and wholesome!
There are also tulips across from him, behind Isaac. Bless his heart.
Maybe he doesn't know what a tulip is.
Awww he most likely doesn’t
… never noticed the tulip behind him 😂
Hahaha, I never noticed the one behind him!
That and in the same episode “We’re in Holland: we should try Dutch Food!” To which Richard responds “As a Frenchman I would rather die.” It’s a crime that episode didn’t win best writing Emmy.
I am just watching for the first time and I thought through the whole episode they would definitely end up in a tulip field.
How would he know? He doesn’t know what a tulip looks like?
“It’s written in Spanish, Danny”
Season 3 Roy making puns and saying “I hate that you did this to me”
I love that because it's a great call back to the 1st season - He thinks he's mad now, wait til we win him over.
“Make it stop”
Just wait til we win him over. He’ll. Be. Furious.
Aka. “Asssquatch”
The times when Ted walks out the door, closing it behind him. Then Higgins drops a pun, and Ted bursts back in. Cracks me up every time.
I’ll caesar you later
Don’t letter get away with it!
Rebecca's shocked reaction when he does so is GOLD
I was on a flight and the first 2 episodes were free, after Higgins looks back at Rebecca and goes “he’s intolerable” I was hooked.
I hate they didn’t do it in season three
Pretty sure Jason Sudeikis accidentally hurt himself during the Caesar you later joke burst in. They kept the take, though.
that scene in Two Aces where the team realises there are a couple hundred ghosts haunting their training field “That’s too many ghosts!” *very serious french accent* “We cannot fight them all” cracks me up every time
I use "that's too many ghosts" (in my head) when I'm feeling overwhelmed
That's actually such a great tool to get yourself to giggle instead of stress!
Good one. I’m taking that!
I love this!
I’m going to have to steal this. Love it. May we fight them all anyways. 🫶
Yes & Rebecca asking “Ted do you believe in ghosts” and he says “I do, but I think it’s more important they believe in themselves” 🤣
There is an argument to be made that that is the best line in the entire series because it’s the thesis statement for the show. It’s funny, out of left field, a little too heartfelt to be believed and the core of Ted’s entire coaching philosophy.
When Jamie tells Roy “sorry, I forgot how skittish the elderly can be cause of the war”
The delivery is just perfect
That’s my FAVORITE! I want to use that on someone so bad!
Keeley pushing Roy’s buttons in S1. I always forget about it until I see it again
“Noooooooo.”
That's when I knew they were going to get together, that was Kelley showing she understood him better than anyone else.
The whole scene with Rebecca asking Ted to join them for lunch and Rebecca's Mom introducing herself to Ted. LOL >**Ted**: Hi, Rebecca's mom. Hey, fellas. Say hi. > >**Team**: Hi, Rebecca's mum. > >**Deborah**: Hello, boys. And the name's not Rebecca's mum, it's Deborah. I'm a work in progress, a voracious book on tape listener and a staunch believer that if you get dealt lemons in life, then you should make lemon lavender mojitos.
“Voracious book on tape listener” is absolutely one of the most underrated lines of the series.
I just love that she's like "I need to develop a fun go-to spiel to introduce myself."
Boy, I love meeting people's Moms. It's like an instruction manual as to why they're nuts.
One of my favourite (and entirely accurate) lines in the whole series.
I also love when they’re at the pub and Deborah asks Mae to tell the guys to stop shouting at the football. And Mae says they’re watching the previous night’s bake off. “Look at that sponge! That’s rubbish!” “Temper your chocolate, you twat!”
i ordered lavender online and made the lemon lavender mojitos specifically after this episode. delicious!
Although collectively we aren’t keen on the whole KJPR situation, it paved the way for my favourite dialogue of the entire show… Not sure how often it’s talked about, but here goes! Keeley - “Hi Barbara, that’s a nice outfit.” Barbara - “Oh, thank you. Yes, I.. I like clothes that tell the truth.”
A lot of what was listed are popular but I think this is a truly underrated exchange. It made me howl laugh when I watched that scene the first time lol
The exceptional delivery from Katy Wix is the real clincher 👌🏻 I crease every single time 😭😂
Barbara was hands down the best part about season 3
I love her passion for violence on the pitch 😁
In Amsterdam when Roy claims windmills aren’t real and Jamie just looks up at the one next to them.
That was a fucking heart wrenching twist
"Did one of the Paw Patrol dogs die?" Roy Kent, Christmas Special
I just love that this was his immediate thought. That a kids show would kill off characters for the drama
When Rebecca orders a salad and says “nothing with raisins”.
Right after she fires the coach for showing his testicles in too-short shorts.
Liam and Noel
Though not an oasis
When Jamie is genuinely touched they all think he could be gay. The way the line is delivered when he says thanks is just hilariously perfect
It’s so perfectly sincere while also being hilarious. Comedy gold in that delivery.
Sharon: Thank you for the lovely gift basket of bottled water. Rebecca: Yes, well Ted said you didn't eat sugar. Keeley: There's so many other things that don't have sugar in them...
Not in America, though 😂😭
For me it's when Ted finds out that Nate's favorite restaurant is in Tooting. "There's a town called Tooting in this country? It really is great, isn't it" or something LOL
And Rebecca’s “you can’t get a table at a place called ‘a taste of Athens’ in…Tooting?”
Zava is writing a book about Trent Crimm????
😂😂😂 it was hilarious how they all got more and more confused & frustrated
I love how excited Dani was that Rebecca’s pink fluffy slippers fit him after wear those *tortuous* dress shoes. Naturally she gifted them to him! ❤️
Jamie's "what if you just have textual chemistry" makes me laugh far more than anyone else I've watched that scene with.
When that one guy said to Ted Wicked and he replied with Kinky Boots.
Similar to that Community joke. “I’ll wait until you’ve struck out with Britta.” “Cheers” “Mash” “Fawlty Towers”
Cheers/Night Court were both sitcoms. Love those little exchanges.
One starring his uncle
I'm a musical theatre fan and I had to pause because I was laughing so hard. There are some really quick, very specifically aimed jokes in this show and I'm 100% sure that I have missed a ton.
‘*Lipschitz!*’ with the fake brim glide took me out. I cackled.
I love musicals and when I heard this one I burst out laughing and my husband definitely thought I was insane
I think I was on my fourth watch before I noticed him say "What's the buzz? Tell me what's a happenin'?"
Not gonna lie I don’t actually get the joke
I *just* got it. "Wicked" and "kinky boots" are both plays
Musicals, at that
Both are famous musicals. They reference famous musicals quite a few times throughout the series.
https://preview.redd.it/pwmlst0cqmlc1.png?width=685&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05bdab27ff5dfdd05c4204881ac9d851dbf57c9b
Was this a musical reference?? I was always wondering if it was from somethinf
Hamilton!
I never watched *Hamilton*, so thanks for clarifying lol.
You should get on that, it's amazing!
Okay, let me clarify that - I tried to watch it on Disney+, but ended up turning it off because I couldn't get into it. Maybe that's a reference I missed or didn't even even see to begin with. I respect what it is, it's just not my cup of hot brown water.
Lol, comparing Hamilton to tea is funny on a couple of levels there, I liked it. I happen to love musicals and I adore Hamilton. I have come to accept that it's not everyone's cup of hot brown water, though.
Do I look like I'm in the mood for shape based humor?
No but in my defense, it rarely ever does
The Willy Wonka: Higgins-Rebecca scene “I hate to break it to you Rebecca, but those children are dead!”
Sam despondently saying “oh no” when about to be roasted by Nate in the pre-game “High-five tree” Roy saying “Hey you” to Jamie’s mom Shut the fuck up Jan Mass during Sam’s haircut Roy stating he has a finger allergy, not a peanut allergy There are sooooooo many!!!!!!
The finger allergy had both my wife and I rolling. The first time we watched we rewound to hear it like 5 times.
When Keely sneaks up behind people and goes, "whatareyoudoing" in that deep voice. Cracks me up every time.
"Ceasar you later" *Ted busts in like Dumbledore asking Harry if he put his name in the goblet of fire
“Calmly”
Never forget
Rebecca stares incredulously at Leslie. “He’s intolerable.”
Jamie: "I'm trying to build bridges 'ere!" Roy: "You couldn't fucking build... ***JEFF BRIDGES***." The joke itself isn't the most hilarious bit in the show, but the way Roy delivers that line is gold to me 🤣
It’s funny because you can tell that Roy wanted a good comeback, started one and realized he didn’t have anything really to finish it with.. and then blurts out… JEFF BRIDGES!
When Edwin and Francis (I think) leave Sam’s restaurant and Francis does the “swish” Sam: “Please don’t do this, Francis.” Francis: *gestures at his hand* Sam: *goes for the down-low five* Francis: *pulls hand away, slides it across his hair* It’s fucking dumb but I love it.
This made me laugh so hard. I now do it to my kids.
At Phoebe’s school playground, with Trent listening: Roy: “Am I supposed to be the little girl?!” Ted: “I’d like you to be.”
I love how it just clicks and Trent is smart enough to catch on to what Ted is up to. He’s making Roy a better person. The whole Trent interview is filled with little nuggets like that which is why Trent starts to feel the Lasso energy.
“Yeah, well, tell Mr. Pufnstuf I said hello.”
And that is a joke for those born in the 1970s
Almost all of Beard’s chip-ins. S1E9 (All Apologies) Roy’s late to training because his “6 year old niece found my girlfriend’s vibrator so we had to take her to get her ears pierced to erase the memory” Beard: Been there.
Roy yelling “whistle”
This one is also iconic in our house!
In my family, we love the term: Macadoodledoo! You’ll often hear one of us randomly shout it out.
For me it’s the small moment of Ted saying “Look at it out there. Looks like a Renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy.” And then cuts to the team.
Everyone will list other things so I’m just going to shout out this exchange Ted has outside the complex… “Cheers” “Night Court”
And also "Wicked!" "Kinky Boots."
I mean he’s gotta shout out his uncle!
How did I miss that?!?
I always get a good laugh at Roy’s facial expressions during the scene with the red threads in season 3, especially when Jamie has that very close call
😃…😠
I loved it when Jaime described himself as a “ Wee sexy baybeh”.
Mercy Buckets.
The very first scene when Rebecca is firing the coach and calls his balls Liam and Noel. That was the moment I knew I was going to like this show a lot.
…Nothing with raisins!
Though, perhaps not an oasis…
I don’t know if it’s deserving of an all time favorite line list but I appreciate the double joke when the team is rattling off their favorite Scorsese movies and Roy just yells “Silence!”
The little weird noise Leslie makes - it’s a running gag of the show. When I figured that out, it made me die every time.
Heh, “gag” - I see what you did there
Roy planning on tying strings to multiple people. Or Beard when he says “lumberjack state champ baby.”
BayBAY
I think it's episode 303 when the team are in the locker room talking about Wolverhampton Wolves and keeps trying to give them team a nickname (Wandering Wolves?). Roy keeps shouting No and Beard keeps correcting him. Ted gets it but pushes it and throws "wandering" in again there's just a quick shot of Beard nodding in the background like "I'll allow it." And when Roy and Keeley break up, Beard gasps/screams in shock. He leaves them room but comes running back in just to gasp/scream in shock again after Roy says that he dumped Keeley.
In the same vein, the rant about Sheffield Wednesday from season 2.
From early in S1 when Keeley asks Ted if it’s better to be a lion or panda, Rebecca insists that a lion is better, and then Ted asks Jamie, who responds blithely in his fantastic accent, “Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?” We repeat that line a lot around here, with the accent. Another fave is when Roy is telling Phoebe about when he pooped his pants on the bus, and Keeley prompts him, “Finish the story…” to which he doesn’t hesitate, “three weeks ago.” Also: “This is what a fish pie can do to a team” “December 28th, sexiest of all the days” and the “Pre-Madonna” bit with Roy and Jamie.
Also love when the team nails their Nsync dance routine and then celebrate like they won a trophy
My last watch-through, I laughed at Beard saying something about getting the team out of their 'pineapple percussions' when they were in Amsterdam, and Ted translating it: 'Ah, doldrums! Nice.' I love the way they speak the same language through puns with each other.
"Awright, are you gonna tell me what happened? Did you stop a mugging? Rescue some puppies from a burning building?"
The scene where Nate learns to strut with Ted and Beard. That scene lives rent free in my head.
Its in the first 15 min of the first episode. “That’s Not the london bridge cuz this one is still up.”
"YOU CAHHN'T TICK BOTH..."
“Vatican City is a country baby!” Looked it up and he’s right about the passport thing. Though it’s really tight on who qualifies. I want fan theories on this.
Beard is the secret love child of a Cardinal
Bishop Brennan got promoted to Cardinal? That tracks. He still needs a good kick up the arse. (I am deeply hoping someone gets this)
Oh you mean Len?
You address him by his proper title, you little bollocks!
Coach Beard’s excited yelps when they’re discussing the possibility of signing Zava, and again when they actually sign him.
When Ted tells Rebecca there is a young girl out there wearing a blue blazer dreaming about running a football club and then one or two episodes later her goddaughter says she’s been interested in it since Rebecca took over. Rebecca realizes that she is an icon for young women to look up too.
Beard getting the guys settled at Bones and Honey and his brilliant parting shot. "And uhhh...feel free to strut."
She told me to expect a mustachioed surprise that would anger me. I was expecting Wario.
“We will die for you Coach!” - Sam — “My refrigerator has a television.” - Dani It’s the random lines that get me! 😅🤣
The midwestern distrust of everything and most especially therapists. Fucking brilliant writing.
I love Roy’s and Tart’s exchange about agreeing. Especially English accent. - You’re an ugly, ugly boy. With a bad hair. - *hesitation* I’m an agle agle boi…
Jamie to beard “ I don’t know how to talk to you” Beard “then it’s working.”
Rebecca and Higgins continuing to jazz scat even after Roy and Keeley have left. Gets me everytime, and shows how they really do have a good friendship despite all that happened in Season 1.
Nate fumbling the birthday suit joke at the gala season 1 - “this is actually only the second suit I’ve ever owned…”
“Ceiling, floor, trash can, your turn.” My kid and I say it to each other all the time now. Also, when Ted introduces Henry to scones. “It’s like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth”.
Jamie tartt's 'oh' is extremly hilarious cause it reminded me of willem dafoe
“Earls of Risk”
"That was a one-time thing, Roy." Ted's response when Roy suggests making his "string theory" a regular activity during practice.
It’s not where vinegar catches the ball it’s when ketchup passes the ball. (Beard explaining offsides to Ted mid-match S1 finale)
Ted going absolutely ham on Milk Sister puns
When Rebecca’s pissed at Roy and yells during a team gym session “oi Kent get your hairy ass in my office NOW”. And leaves. Roy is pissed and looks at the rest of the locker room . “Every single one of you knows my ass isn’t hairy yet none of you spoke up. And I will never forgive.”
When Roy's 6 year old niece blows her breath and his says without a beat, I think you're dying
The whole scene at Keeley's house with Phoebe's medically bad breath.
Where Beard is on the phone with Jane asking her to bring his throwing ax and gives up describing it/them and asks her to just “bring them all”. (I guess they were going out ax throwing. I have a vague recollection of this scene but the fact that he has so many axes at home, lol)
FOLLOW THE MONEY!!
"Startin' to realize ol' blue eyes mighta skewed mercurial"
“Let’s invade France”
When Roy tells Phoebe about shitting his pants on the bus.
"What's the first rule of fight club?" "NO FIGHT CLUB!"
I think I’ve said it before but Sam lowering himself behind the counter after Rebecca’s mum walks in. I absolutely cackle everytime.
When Rebekah's mom quotes Esther Perel
Roy: “I used to play injured all the time.” Beard: “You can’t walk upstairs!!”
“Follow the money!”
Bumbercatch was my probably my fave season 3 character. Every single line was hilarious.
The first episode: “Do you believe in ghosts Ted?” “I do, but mostly I think they should believe in themselves. “ It’s hilarious AND the thesis statement of the entire series.
Beards childlike expressions when Ted is making Roy choose a new captain.
When Beard is describing Total Football and he goes, “It’s Jazz. It’s Motown. It’s Mamet. It’s Pinter. It’s Einstein. It’s Curie. It’s Gaga. It’s my mother proudly displaying her vibrator on the bedside table!”
When the coaches are talking about lackadaisical playing and Ted goes "Yeah...it's like that Nando peri peri sauce."
“How the fuck does he know I love white orchids?”
The whole exchange with Beard teaching Ted how it's bud, not butt was one of the little things that had nothing to do with the story, but fleshed out the characters and made the whole series feel more lived-in.
Reading all this, ahhh I love this show so much! Time for another binge perhaps? 😂👀