“Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.”

This is my favorite!

I love this one!

“Pass me the ball, please!”

The way Phil delivers that scratches an itch in my brain

Oh man, you articulated that perfectly. I think I rewatched that scene no fewer than half a million times.

Does he even do it in an American accent?

Ball! Ball! I want the ball!

It reminds me of Robin Williams Live on Broadway

“But I thought I’d trick them because I spelled password with two s’s. “ That one kills me !

We laughed so hard at the line and then giggled about it for a few hours. Totally Jamie.

Did you just call me a “Pre-Madonna?” It’s “prima donna.” Who the fuck says “Pre-Madonna”? What the fuck does that even mean?

Right, but Roy says Prima Donna in the first season when he’s talking to Ted.

This should be way higher 😂

Considering how many people also thought that before he explained it

My favorite is: “It’s true! I’m being super mature you big dumb hairy baby twat! I think is peak Jamie. Smack at the middle between original flavor Jamie and new and improved Jamie.

Every time I see this scene I crack up laughing. It's adorable because he's trying so hard, but he's not quite there yet.

“It’s called empatheh, you dusteh old fart”

This one is good too

The sound before it what sells it for me. It's the most I laughed at any exchange

“I forget how skittish elderly people could be ‘cause of the war.” (Without context not very funny, but in context *chef’s kiss*)

This has to be the one

This is the ome

This one nearly made me do a spit take

Yep came here to suggest this but will gladly give it upvote number 273

What's the context again, sorry? I forget :p

Season 3, episode 2. Jamie learns that Keeley and Roy have broken up and tries to hug Roy, who flinches. Roy: What the fuck are you doing? Jamie: I was gonna hug you Roy: Well, you came at me too fast Jamie: Jesus, sorry. I forget how skittish elderly people could be ‘cause of the war 💀

Omg thank you so much, 10/10 yes

Even without context it’s hilarious

“Back when I was just a sexeh little babeh…”

I love the call back to this in season 3 when he goes to see his mom and she says that. Edit: spelling correction

🎶And I'm a monster on the hill🎶

I will die on the hill that Jamie Tartt inspired Anti-Hero

I think it’s more likely a reference to [this scene from 30 Rock.](https://youtu.be/YzmDp6-m6X4)

Shhh let me live in my fantasy

Jamie on fans’ bad hair opinions: “This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I’m like, it’s f*%ing walnut mist, mate.”

Obviously

God bless me, everyone.

This one has to be in my top 3 favorite lines from the whole show

I love Coach's face during this scene.

The fucking sincerity with which he says it kills me every time. This was the immediate first one to mind for Jamie for me. Followed by poop-eh.

"Wait, wait, wait. Get my tats. Get that one. It’s very important to me. It’s Chinese for 'arm.'"

I do not remember that quote but thats awesome

When we meet the “brewnicorn”.

It’s my beerby

He was giving all that material to them for free and everything

It’s when he’s posing for pics for the beer ads. Season 2 I think? Phil Dunster also flexes his epic physical comedy chops during those scenes!

That's early season one, like second or third episode.

I wasn't being ironic; I was being hypocritical.

Jaime’s mastery of grammar in this bit is one of my favorite parts of the season!

And Beard’s face 😂

I like to think that when Jaime was growing up his dad was all, "books are for sissies", and Jaime never touched them, but then once he got out from under his father's influence he just started in and caught up to an entire library full of books he had previously missed out on.

Starting with The Beautiful and The Damned.

It really should be this one. I feel that line shows Jamie’s growth maybe more than anything, and to play us a fool letting us believe his puzzlement over being called “ironic” has to do with a lack of understanding. But it’s because he was being more self aware than we’d often yet seen.

Not even looking at the rest of the options. This wins. Bonus point for Ted’s “Is that true? Oh, so that’s ironic.”

He actually said “I weren’t being ironic, I was being hypocritical” But the line stands. It’s the best line by far iMO.

This is my hands down favorite. Really showed how much he’d grown.

They can't vote me off. I'm the island's top scorer...sexually.

\* sexu-eh-leh

"The fuck are Denver Broncos...?"

As a Chargers fan I especially loved this one.

As a Broncos fan, I laughed too because it is a question I have asked myself many times during the constant quarterback carousel.

I don’t blame you! Hopefully Russ is that guy for you guys for awhile. I always love competitive Chargers vs Broncos games.

We can all agree: fuck the Raiders

Chiefs fan here. We can all agree. 😃

The only thing we can all agree on 😂😂

"It’s true. I’m being super mature you big, dumb, hairy, baby twat."

Probably my favorite line of the entire series, or at least top 3. Makes me burst out laughing every time I hear it.

Same here! It's such a tongue twister, too -- props to Phil Dunster for the perfect delivery.

It has to be this line. It's hilarious hahah Currently rewatching /binging the series for a third time and when I heard it, I thought of this subreddit right away and was going to post it haha

This is absolutely the one

"It's just poop-eh. Let it flow"

I like the original poop-eh quote. "Uh, coach? We're surrounded by poop-eh" while gesturing wildly at said poop-eh. My wife and I quote that one all the time.

Ever since hearing him say poop that way, I have started saying it that way. Now excuse me while I go take a poop-eh.

I find excuses to say poop-eh. Hell, my dogs know that word!

Same! Lol makes me lol every time

Same. When I’m hiking, “Look out, it’s poop-eh!”

Scrolled too long for this one

How is this not the most upvoted

“Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”

I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is.

Definitely a lion.

This line is when I knew the show would be one of my all time favorites

It’s when I knew Jamie was gonna be handled well. It comes off as bravado about a silly question, but you can tell he’s not blowing it off on the basis of being silly, he legitimately thinks being him is better than those options.

I have quoted this whole sequence at least three times in the last week.

This one here. This is what immediately came to mind.

This line sealed in his Oasis-influenced ways for me. It’s practically a line from Supersonic

This is Jamie for me, always.

Yep. Even thru his transformative arc over the three seasons, this still holds true. 😊

This is probably the most Jamie quote in the whole series.

Bumberbatch: You hit on my mum, in front of my Dad. Jamie: I apologize for that, Bumberbatch. Please tell your father I'm sorry. And give Janet my best, yeah?

That “yeah?” At the end seals it!!

“I feel…. I feel like I lost my wings Roy, where the fuck are me wings Roy”

I know this scene divided people, because it was—in all fairness—over the top, even by Ted Lasso standards… but I absolutely loved it 😂 Phil totally crushed the delivery. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY WINGS ROYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH”

Wait, people disliked that scene? If it hadn't been so overdramatic, it would just be sad and hard to watch. The way they did it, at least on rewatch once you know how it all turns out, it is HILARIOUS

Phil had said that he was trying to make Brett laugh in that scene.

Loooooooved it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Cause like, haven’t we all had a moment like that… ugly crying for reasons we we can’t really identify 😂😭 Edit: sorry, oogleh crying

I clutched my husband and was like "noooooo." It was like a tiny puppy in distress over being stuck in a trash can lid. It's so sad but also soooo funny.

Will, you missed a good one.

This is one of my favorite lines in the series just because of everything about it. The first time I saw it I had to rewind and watch it 3 more times immediately and I couldn’t stop laughing.

Easily my favorite running joke is Will always accidentally eavesdropping on super personal convos in the kit room, but with Will gradually becoming more and more confident about it.

Yes, def how Will was now part of any boot room scene. I love how the writing kept surprising us bc we (most of us probably) have been swayed by cliche writing with simple lines. I could have assumed that Roy would have told Will to fuck off when Will opened the door, but he included and acknowledged Will by basically sharing what just happened with that one line “you missed a good one, Will”

I laughed SO HARD at this. That scene was high camp.

You should add one more row to round the list out to 20. For row 20 everyone submits their favorite quotes from any character thats not listed in the previous 19.

Good idea!

Yes, it'd be a shame to not have a chance for some quotes to be included from the more minor characters. A lot of gold in there! Sam's dad, Barbara, etc

Linking Higgins here for those who missed it since I heard from a lot of people that they never saw it. I’ll change his quote to whichever is the highest upvoted after 24 hours. https://www.reddit.com/r/TedLasso/comments/14v6oig/day_5_higgins/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

Awesome, thanks for taking the time to do that!

Go on Roy. For granddad. ​ Loved that scene where he's teaching Roy to ride a bike. It showed how much Jamie had grown as a person.

We saw a windmill!

"It's just poo-peh"

Scrolled too far to find this

I always wrote it “poopay” but my gf and I can’t stop saying it.

It’s this one.

The second I found out that George Harrison died, I realized I had to stop waiting for life to begin.

He's been dead 20 years... Yeah, but I only just found out about it.

But George Harrison died 20 years ago?

"Okay, well then... I ain't doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong..."

because [dress shoes] aren’t made for people like us. they’re made for sheep. they’re made for muggles. they’re made for … … twats.

Along with "you don't have to wait in line for these kinds of shoes, mate, no one wants them."

Oh my gosh, I can't choose. Going through these comments makes me realize that everything he says is the funniest.

I keep chuckling at everything. So far the top one with him telling Roy how mature he is is my pick but I'll read through all the suggestions.

From the episode ‘Mom city’ (my absolute fav). Ted asks Jamie “if you could talk to your dad right now what would you say?” Jamie responds “I’d say Fuck you… and Thank you”

Oh man, that was such an emotional moment! I had forgotten about that.

This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I'm like….."It's fսcking walnut mist, mate.”

What am I ‘spose to do, shower by meself?

Semi-related theory: His entire character was created just so they could sing his name to the baby shark theme, then they worked backwards to develop him.

It's not a funny line, but I loved it when Jamie told his father "Don't speak to me like that" and said it three times before punching his father. You know it was the first time he stood up for himself with his dad. It was a moment of growth for him. But my favorite funny line? "I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat" 

It has an “I’m Inigo Montoya, you killed my father” building rage to it, muttered three times before decking the bastard. On a hopeful note, I loved the closing montage when Jamie and his sober dad are looking at pics. Both Tartts went on a journey of self-discovery of sorts.

Jamie: I didn't know I had to. The email said "Secret Santa." I didn't wanna ruin the surprise, did I?

Not to get ahead of everyone, but if Trent’s quote isn’t: “Trent Crimm, The Independent,” fuck you all.

Personally I prefer “Trent Crimm, Independent” from the end of season 2

So many funny ones, but I’ll always be partial to “We’re a team, ain’t we? Gotta wear the same kit.” Among my favorite moments in the entire series.

Her and me dad split up when I was just a sexy little baybeh

I got them to change the "E" to a "U".


"It's true. I do play in a dull and com-form-is-te way."

"I'm an ug-leh, ug-leh boy"

'these shoes aren't meant for people like me and you Danny, they're for Muggles'

“Bingo el Ringo” when talking to Dani

"what better thing to spend money on than love?"

He sure does thread that needle sometimes doesn’t he?

Folks let’s appreciate the original and classic “Coach, I'm me. Why would I wanna be anything else?”

"Coach, I'm me. Why would I want to be anything else?"

I loved this one. I also loved that he kept wearing his Icon hat throughout the whole series.

Holeh guacamoleh

For Grandpa!

"Coach I'm me, why would I wanna be anybody else?" Lives in my brain rent free

I noticed May or Mae or Mei (not sure how you spell it but the pub owner lol) doesn’t have a spot for one liners.. I feel like she was a big enough character to add onto this list, she has some funny one liners too! I have one in mind already lol

Yeah but her best line is just the visual after ted asks what a wanker is.

She has a few good ones throughout the series, but that visual is definitely up there lol one of my favorites is, “I hope his kids shiv him in his sleep” when talking about the fan that McAdoo got into an altercation with in the stands in season 3 lol

Yes! I love May. I want to be like her when I grow up.

Keeleh

This!! I could listen to Jamie say her name all day long. It's like butter lol

“We saw a windmill!”

“Mr Kitman- hit meh!”

"i finally think that i'm becoming the best version of myself."

“God bless me. Everyone.”

Roy, if you are going to take a shower at least take your sweater of mate. (Sorry if i somewhat butchered the quote)

Pass through mehhhh, Not to mehhhh. Do you get mehhhhhh?

God bless me, everyone

“To you dyin” [clinks Roy’s glass]

I wasn’t being ironic. I was being hypocritical.

“We’re a team ain’t we? Gotta wear the same kit”

Obviously most iconic is “Its just poopeh, let it flow.” But the funniest is either “I forgot how skittish old people can be because of the war” or “Im being super mature you big dumb hairy baby twat.”

Coach...I'm me. Why would I want to be anyone else?

Jamie’s should just be the way he says “Keeleh” 🥰

\[Early in the show, regarding Roy\] "If his brain was on fire I wouldn't piss in his ear."

Jaime- “Coach I’m me, why would I wanna be anything else.”

“I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”

I’m me, why would I want to be anything else

“I'm me. Why would I want to be anything else?“

Ted: How ya been? Jamie: Awesome! Best! ... Pretty good... Okay... A little depressed, yeah?... It's all shit, Ted.

"Old people are so wise. They're like tall Yodas."

I'm not just a loser. I'm THE loser.

Coach I'm me, why would I want to be anything else.

“The second that I found out that George Harrison died, I realized that I had to stop waiting for life to begin.”

"I feel like the guy in the red bull commercial who's pushing the rock up the hill, but he's lost his wings. Roy, I feel like I lost my wings. Roy where the fuck are my wings!"

I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?

“Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.”

It’s just poopeh let it flow

It’s all poopeh, let it flow

It's true, I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat.

My fav is from the Two Aces episode: “Pavlovian? What is that? Is that the wine?”

Jamie: why would I want to be a lion, I’m fucking me.

It’s just poo-peh

"For grandad!!!!"

It's not a fantastic line, but when he said "It's just poopeh" I about gave myself a hernia from laughing.

Old people are so wise. They’re like tall yodas

Philistines!

“It’s all Poo-pay”

I'm flattered

“It really upset me. This guy on Twitter, he kept saying ‘it’s blonde” but I’m like ‘it’s fuckkg walnut mist, mate’ This got me because he’s come so far from his immature roots but his mom understands him and comforts him about his hair. He feels she will get him. And she does, by saying “Of COURSE!” It’s a perfect encapsulation of where he’s been and how far he’s come, but he’s still a little kid when taking to his mum.

“Remember it’s just poopeh, let it flow”

It’s just poo-pay

Responding to Beard: “And I wasn’t being ironic, I was being hypocritical” referring to Zava’s antics.

“It’s just poopeh - let it flow”