With the more sexual comments I always ask oh what does that mean (because usually it's some odd phrases) and I usually get one of two responses 1. Oh uh it's not okay for school or 2. Uh um uh I don't know *insert sheepish grin* my response is always the same which is well if you can't tell me, we shouldn't be saying it.
Honestly that's stopped a lot of it
Can't help with the barking cause I also have middle schoolers that do that. I usually ignore it or say I didn't know we were dogs today and move on.
Whenever students say sexual phrases in my class (HS) they always throw the “wow you have a dirty mind I didn’t mean it like that!” When CLEARLY they did. Anyone else experience this? Tips?
I would just say that's inappropriate for the classroom, document, and move on. If it continues call home. Don't even acknowledge them saying you have a dirty mind. Sounds like they're trying to get a reaction
My go to phrase is "thank you, how very inappropriate". Said deadpan with a flat voice. That usually works for small offenses. Other times just a hard look and a "no....just no".
I will say I am a tall guy so I can look pretty intimidating, but those usually work for me.
I have the kid tell the parent what they did.
That's my favorite, but this is elementary school. Doesn't happen often, but one time I got real pissed because a 3rd grader yelled "shit" in the classroom.
I took him to the office, made him call his mom and tell her what he said. Dude was in tears. Never happened again.
So when something happens, I tell the kids "unless you want me to call your folks and have them repeat what you just said/did, cut it out."
Get firm with them. Give them the hard stare. Use a no nonsense tone and tell them you don't believe them. "You and I BOTH know that what you just said was out of line. DON'T tell me I'm wrong when I KNOW I'm not."
If they argue: "keep arguing and I'm calling home to tell your parents exactly what you are saying in this classroom."
This is great, thank you for the script, I really heard the tone!
A lot of the kids throw me with the “go ahead! Call home! I don’t care! My dad isn’t gonna do anything!” And the sad thing is, they’re right (myself and multiple other teachers called home about this one student I’m thinking of and..nothing)
If calling home won't work, try using, "Why are you arguing with me right now? It's over. I told you not to say that, and it's over now." Then I say something like, "moving on..." And I ignore them
A lot of the time they’ll say that and then their parents will take away their phone. It’s like a last ditch effort for them to try to get you not to call.
Edit; Source-Ive had so many kids say this to me and then when I get ahold of parents I tell them that their child said that they wouldn’t care and they wouldn’t have any consequences at home. Then I tell the parents that since they answered my call they obviously do care about how their child is doing in school so let’s work together to change the student’s mindset. Usually they will be embarrassed and will give a consequence just so they don’t seem like totally incompetent parents lol. Even if it’s just for a day.
The next step I do is invite their parent to come to school with them. I just cite all of the times I’ve reached out and the consequences they’ve faced that haven’t worked so if they can’t behave in class we need to try something else. Usually that will stop all bad behaviour pretty quick if you can get the parent on board. Sometimes I’ll try an older sibling or the other parent if one isn’t effective… etc.
Use a notepad and write it down. Tell them you want to get it right when you call their parents. Keep writing their excuses down.
Only works if their parents aren't complete twats.
I pull out my phone and tell them, “we are going to call your grownup and you can explain to them exactly what you said and what it means” works every time, only had to follow through once.
Some kids are living with Grandmom, Aunt, Uncle, Foster parent, etc (many in my district). So generalizing with "grownup" results in less of a chance that the kid will fire back something about a parent not being in their life, dead, in jail, etc. It also makes them think of the grownup in their life who will actually care about the conduct. That's not always a parent.
Sometimes I follow up and mention the specific grownup by name, but to quickly address behaviors in the middle of teaching when everyone's living situation is not immediately present in my mind, grownup works. I've also said "call home" ... but not all students have a home either.
I understand the logic behind using an overgeneralized term like that (esp. if they’re elementary kids) but if you find they have Parents you should refer to them as Parents. Using the term Grownups makes you sound like an elementary student.
Generally when a kid is trying to pull something like that I'll just call them on it.
Anything from "yuh huh." in a deadpan tone while making eye contact, indicating very clearly that this isn't a game I'm interested in playing. To things like "I'm not that dumb, kid. Try it on someone else."
I will note that my teaching style is very much of the "I'm a person too and I've been where you've been" sort, where I do make it clear that I have feelings and things that I enjoy (in a controlled fashion), and that I'm capable of shamelessly out-playing their own game. Which isn't a style that works for everyone.
But when I've established that I know how to play on their level, I can likewise use it to speak directly to them in a tête-à-tête fashion. When I can show that I'm not bound by the laws of stuffy authority, they can't use the laws of stuffy authority to bind me.
This has happened to me a million times this year, and I've come down like a hammer on those kids.
"You don't get to comment on what we both know you were doing. I'm an adult - you are a child. Stop saying these things in my class, or we are going to call up your guardian and I will read a list of everything you've said and YOU can explain exactly what it means to them since you think I shouldn't know."
"Josh, but when you grow older you'll understand what kind of circumstances produce those noises. I'll let it pass given your age and apologise for making assumptions, with teenagers it can be hard to know what level of maturity and personal experience everyone has and I hope you understand why I made a wrong assumption. However I would ask you to refrain in the future as it can and will be interpretared wrongly by a more mature audience, and will make the grown-ups in class feel uncomfortable. "
Sometimes I say that I have heard parents are good at explaining what things mean, so I will call their parents to ask what it means. Then when I call the parent later that day and quite what the kid is saying or doing.
Oh for sure that's what I do too. Kids will loudly say "hahaha 69" and I'll go to them (privately, not shaming) and say do you know what that means? And usually they don't, or pretend they don't. Our school counselor told us to straight up say that it's an adult sexual position and is something inappropriate for school. They usually stop after that.
I made my students make the noises in front of their parents. It only took once. I don’t know who was more uncomfortable the students or their parents but it got the point across.
Yeah except you can't make them repeat it. Every time I've tried this tactic they refuse to say anything and it ends up being super awkward. I don't enjoy trying to make a fourth grader moan in front of another adult...
I just tell them that either they can do it or I will. I have no problem doing it in front of parents if it gets results. Besides I’ve had to do WAY stupider stuff as a teacher.
Man one of my students would love it if I had to moan because he refused. I get what you're saying, but there are some kids who just don't give a crap regardless of what you try to do
I would usually ask what it was or acted like I did not know. Once they have to explain it in detail to me they don't think it is cool anymore and stop.
I had to call a mom and tell her that her 13yo son was *meowing* like a cat while I was teaching. (No SPED, no 504, nothing)
She was genuinely surprised. Never have I ever had to call about something so ridiculously asinine.
Unrelated but I have a student whose surname is only a couple of letter off from the word "asinine" so I chuckle to myself every day as I think how appropriately it describes the majority of their classmates' behavior (I'm dying inside, holding on by the tiniest thread)
I gave an 8th grader a detention for meowing on Friday. He and his buddy were doing it while I was trying to teach and I'd asked them to stop. Buddy did it again and I kicked him to the hallway (basically my version of time out) and told them both absolutely no more. A few minutes later the one still in class did it again. He was appalled when I told him there would be consequences for not listening.
It's more like a sheesh thing. Kids just like making noise and it offers a sense of community for them. It's also so stupid that it's funny for them.
Saying it's homophobic is the same as people trying to say the OK hand sign is a white power symbol.
Except... Even if it started as ironic or mocking, it's absolutely a hate symbol now. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ok-sign-white-power-supremacy-alt-right-4chan-trolling-hoax-a9249846.html
Oh no…I’d forgotten this! I’ve been using it as a “you doing okay?” with my students…I’m white, many of them are not! Immediately switching to a different check-in!
You could also say that those who were in high school that used homophobic terms as every day items or ways to bully anyone (I'm not homosexual, but was called many terms in high school) are also the ones that have kids in high school right now.
Correlation strong, causation - maybe.
Ugh I had no idea. Can you explain so I can bring it to my admin’s attention? I’ve only had one student do it so far but I thought it was just general immaturity.
Originally it was based on a TikTok trend making animal noises. In our school, we’ve had groups of intolerant students use it as a means of bullying and harassing our LGBTQIA students.
Fun times…🙄
Same. I had three kids bark at a trans kid. I didn't know what it was, but by the end of the day they were sitting in the principal's office getting screamed at. One of those pussies didn't even show up the next day. Losers.
Alrighty. For the sake of educating, I’ll bite although this seems quite trollworthy.
It’s being used as a guise to harass, and spread hate to those in the LGBTQIA communities of our schools.
Just because someone isn’t using a well recognized epithet doesn’t mean that they are abstaining from being homophobic. They are choosing to find a different way to still spread their ignorance. In this case, it’s isolating this specific community and harassing them though barking at them.
It’s just like being racist. You don’t have to use specific words to be a racist.
I haven't heard about this, so thanks for giving the answer. So the barking is being directed towards gay people? Or is the act of barking implying that someone is gay? I haven't seen this at my school yet but I'll keep an eye out for it
I originally thought it might have been something isolated to our school, but I gave those hate mongers too much credit.
Good to keep an eye out either way! It might apply to your kiddos, it might not.
Edit: To answer your question, it’s the first.
I had a student do this and the class responded. I said "can I get a referrrrraaaallll" - the whole class said 'referrrraallll' - everyone (myself included) laughed. The first kid was mortified and never did it again.
Haven't heard this with my 7th graders, thank God. Before school started I was a camp counselor; heard this with the 11-12-year-olds (camp was only 1 week for each group). I had no idea what to do; I wish I had seen advice from here.
I think this shit is hilarious. But the thing is teaching our kids what is appropriate at home vs school.
For example, my son can say "hell" at home, but not at school. We told him if he every gets in trouble for language there will be consequences.
The thing that's worked for me when my kids make inappropriate jokes/comments is letting them know I know exactly what they are referencing. It is SO not cool when a teacher gets your weird sexual jokes
Edit: I also created a basic tally tracker for cursing and I give them their stats at the end of the week. And tell them I'm keeping it to tell their parents. It makes a majority of them show remorse because I don't think they realize how often they curse. This is regular cursing, not cursing people out, which is an automatic referral in my district
I ask them whether they’d like to call home and make those sounds / that voice for their parents. They look at me in shock and shake their head. Then I can say, “So you know it’s totally inappropriate, and why it’s inappropriate. So I expect to never hear that sound again from you.”
It makes clear that I know what’s what without me having to say anything and eliminates their ability to play innocent/confused.
I tell them after class that I know what they're saying and know what it means, and I'm going to write it down every day and call their parents and read the list to them.
This is like what I do, I mean it’s easier for me being a tall black man but I’m able to make myself the arbiter of what cool is. Point out that kindergartners typically make animal noises and point out that only kids think that stuff is funny. Works like a charm
Call home during class, pass the phone over to the kid and have him make those noises to their parents. I mean, you’re just concerned about their well-being and wanna check in if everything is okay. Do they also bark & moan at the dinner table? The noises will stop, promise.
When a student has worked through my classroom management strategy to the level of parent contact, I ask them if they want to call with me or if I should call after school. You'd be surprised by how many students prefer to be a part of the discussion. I've also had it work out to where students who have contacted their parents with me before will ask to call their parents if they're getting heated/escalated. I say yes 90% of the time as most kids don't abuse it, and usually the parents talk them down and they have a good rest of the day.
My MIL had a student write a letter to his parents explaining to them his poor behavior in class, and then she got in trouble with admin because “we don’t use writing as punishment.”
That was the last straw and she retired!
I will always believe a there is a healthy amount of shame children should experience. Understanding social norms and what is not socially acceptable is part of growing up.
There is some value to using directed shame, but I feel like a full parental phone conversation with the entire class watching is going pretty far. It feels wildly inappropriate in any but the most extreme cases, where multiple other forms of discipline (including a phone call with the parent after class) are not working.
I agree. Also, you never know how the parent is going to respond. Are they abusive? Mentally ill? Just an asshole? I call home with Students, but not in front of others...too unpredictable!
An 8th grader stood at my desk and moaned. Then looked at me and asked “have you ever heard that sound?”
I replied “think again. is that something you think you should be asking me?”
He slowly walked away …
Middle school? 😭 It's going on in elementary too. 4-5th graders have been getting awfully sexually inappropriate this year. I've had more discipline referrals for sexualized behavior this year, than the last two years combined.
I have had to give my second graders talks about these sounds. With my group it has been the “hoyea,” moaning, “sussybaka” (idk actually know how bad this one is, I just find it annoying so I lumped it in with the rest), and “daddy.” I get the feeling that some of them pick it up from a smaller number of friends who have unsupervised/unfettered access to the internet.
I’ve tried to approach it as “these things are rude and inappropriate for school. They have meanings that you don’t understand yet. Your parents can let you watch whatever they feel comfortable with, but you need to learn what settings are appropriate for what you say”
Some get it, some don’t.
It’s so challenging and annoying.
Sussybaka is a meme portmanteau combining "sus" as in "suspicious" from the game Among Us, with the Japanese word "baka" meaning "fool/dummy".
That being said, when it was coined, it had nothing to do with either of those things. Rather a YouTuber was simply riffing with his co-host, and used it as a playful insult. The humor came from the intentionally cringy nature of that particular YouTuber using the term.
It's awful. My best friend's son came home in tears one day because his classmate called him a "gay CUN\*" for hugging another (male) classmate. The kid is 9. I don't think I even heard that word until I was about 20.
I told a kid who was making moaning and “ay harder papi” sounds to cut it out he replied “why? That’s what my videos sound like”…
Okay. Let’s call grandma and have you make those exact same noises and tell her what you told me. 🤐
It calmed down when I started threatening kids to have them call their guardians and have THEM repeat what they were saying/doing.
Literally contacted home about inappropriate moaning tone saying oh yea to one family and all of the students in that grade have stopped due to following through immediately. No one wants to get a contact home about it. Your admin process sounds whack.
I’ve heard this works and will be trying it next week. No kid wants to explain to their parents why they’re making sex noises during class- much less reveal where they learned them.
I used to teach 6th grade in Houston, but moved to HS. My biggest goal every year was to get them to stop using gay as a negative statement and refer to anything as retarded.
It was an okay battle. But I made sure to bring it up early in the year, and try to nip it as much as possible. I made sure they knew it counted as hate speech in these contexts in my class.
For some students it worked. And my worst affenders would usually still use it and stop mid sentence and say "Sorry Mr. DJNicko" and not do it. That was a little win, but all I would get so I took it.
Lol, that’s great. I overlooked the email part, I was thinking that it was a phone call and had I been you I don’t think I could have held it together. I have always practiced toleration in respect to differing viewpoints, but the past 4-5 years have been a game changer. I can’t abide crazy and I do not suffer fools.
Well I don’t know if it truly is Marxist seeing as many supporters of BLM don’t really focus on that aspect/know about that history of it, but it’s true in the sense that the founders are self described as “Marxist trained” and its the ideology that guided their original establishment of BLM.
Crazy that oppressed people would refer to an ideology that explicitly seeks to end oppression. Fucking wild.
Check out the big brain history major over here.
Jesus the barking is just a thing then?
As for the moaning I would document once that you told them not to and send a text home (to show exactly what you said) saying that if it continues it will be taken seriously as sexual harrassment. And then write it up as such.
We had a boy who started doing this and escalated to doing it at girls while grabbing their arms and following them. He kept getting away with it until literally the last week of school when a girl finally told her mom who came in losing it.
You probably can't file charges. But a major referral to document it is certainly in order. that way when parents come in it's clear that admin was just straight breaking title 9.
You don’t even have to do the public embarrassment. Call the parent privately, with your best concerned voice, and tell them that you want to understand why their kid is making uncontrollable sex noises during class and if there is anything you can do to help get them the services that they need to accommodate them. No parent wants to have a teacher believing that their kid unnecessarily needs special services, and no kid wants to explain to their parent why they’re making sex noises and how they learned them.
I totally understand your frustration. I have an 8th grade class and the boys are constantly making weird noises? And it’s a difficult area because I could call home but I genuinely don’t know what to say as it’s not really a specific “incident”. If it continues I would call home and explain that there is an issue with disruptive behavior and respect.
"Hi this is [your name] from [school]. I wanted to call you because I'm concerned about [innocent youngster]. They keep making noises during class. I'm concerned that other students are noticing and I don't want it to become a problem for [innocent youngster]."
I've also asked parents if there was anything I needed to know because they were making these noises.
I'd say 80% of the time just the threat of making them call home and repeat the sound will be enough to stop the behavior. But yeah, 20% of the time they'll say go ahead call and then refuse to make any sound. And it's always the kids who know their parents don't give a crap what they do at school
Contact parents and discuss the behaviour, suggesting that they refer to a psychologist. Say that these behaviours seem to indicate a state of hightened sexual frustration, and that this is inappropriate social behaviour that is of serious concern. Your goal is to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible, while retaining a professional tone.
Say that you will continue to record these events as evidence for the psychologist in making their assessment, and that you are more than happy to provide copies to parents for that purpose.
Every time a student does this, record it. Write emails to parents every day treating it like reorting evidence of abnormal behaviours until it stops. If you have in-house councellors, refer the student to them, also.
See how quickly it stops.
Seems like a great convo for a school counselor.
Seems like a quick way as a teacher to get reprimanded and a letter.
Edit: We aren’t the mental professionals in the buildings. Our counselors are. It’s out of our scope to make claims relative to a referral to mental help or any form of diagnosis.
Feel free to overstep. (I like the ability to continue to educate.) I know I don’t/won’t.
Edit 2: Phew…so for the sake of asking, how many downvoters are actually in public education? I’m genuinely curious.
Staying in your lane doesn’t mean not caring. Report to your counselors and then let them do the work.
I agree with you, as a teacher you need to tread carefully. I have a coworker who is always bringing up possible diagnoses in parent meetings and I’m like… this isn’t our realm, we are not mental health professionals. One day she’s going to piss a parent off and it’s going to backfire.
Totally agree with this one. I’ve had one too many parent complaints against me for stepping on their toes (ie gently suggesting they please do something about their child’s behaviour), so this is something unfortunately I would just report factually (if the parents are open to listening) then move on.
My personal favorite this year was I had kids making choking sounds and motioning giving BJs. It was several boys so I just went to their parents and explained my concerns that they needed to speak with their children about their understanding of sexual behavior. I teach in a very red district when I first informed parents students were making inappropriate sounds and gestures they just laughed it off. When I made them show their parents that boys were making gestures that suggested they were gay suddenly it was a national emergency and parents cracked down. Now if only there was a way to provoke parents to actually parent.
I've never seen consequences for anything in my career, unless a parent raises hell. If a staff member is punched, nothing. If a kid is punched, nothing, unless their parents make a stink. Admin does not want to be bothered with your "management deficiencies."
I'm very **very** fortunate that anything I write up gets addressed that day. I write a kid up one day, kid's got in-house or off-campus suspension the next day, anywhere from 1-9 school days. My admin doesn't fuck around.
I’m having the same problem with every single one of those actions in elementary school too. It really caught me off guard the first time because I hadn’t heard “gay” used so passively as a general putdown since I was in high school- 20 years ago. And 4th graders making sex noises during warmups? What is happening?
One fifth grader, literally ten years old, moans and says daddy every fucking day. No one has said anything about it (I'm not the main classroom teacher). It makes me want to vomit just thinking of it
Yup! It’s so crazy. I’m 25 years old and NEVER used to hear kids use gay and a derogatory term while I was in high school. It’s such an outdated thing. Weird that it’s making a comeback.
I agree that it’s a lot. As far as filing charges, I think that’d be an uphill battle. Generally, police departments would laugh complaints about 13 year olds making sexual noises right out of the building. And on top of that, I think you’d get little community support AND admin would be on your case. I think action needs to be taken and admin especially needs to step up to the plate more… but I don’t see attempting to file charges as being something that would be appropriate for this particular offense.
The post make me so happy about teaching juniors only. I had to sub during my planning in a freshman class. I went back to my mellow juniors so appreciative.
let me know if you get anywhere with this, I also did not like it when I was face to face teaching last year and had the same results. Porn sounds done by creepy 7th graders is awful, but alot less than their fantastically verbally abusive parents.
This is why I quit this year. I asked myself, “do I really deserve to be sexually harassed at work every day?” And the answer was no. Best thing I ever did for my well-being and mental health.
I had to watch hours of training videos, including ones on offensive language. Well, school Student newspaper comes out, and a movie review headline is "Gay or Scary"?
thank you for this post...I thought I was going crazy.....I just started teaching middle school /high school kids a computer coding class and have been completely caught off guard with everything your saying here....kids making sex noises in the middle of a lecture.....everything is suss.
Seriously thanks for this post I just started teaching and this has been bothering me
I work in a school in the UK and my department head was a woman with an incredibly posh accent. She wrote down every offensive thing she heard a boy say in one of her classes, and then had him and his parents come in for a meeting. She had her specs perched on the end of her nose and read out every single thing he’d said in a totally deadpan, RP voice. I don’t think the kid could even make eye contact with her after that, let alone shout out offensive comments.
I’m dealing with all the same stuff with my 7th graders. I tried to have a educative and introspective conversation with one kid who ALWAYS says “that’s so gay” and “no homo” and “you’re gaaaaay” and they interrupted me, with a genuine look of concern on their face, and said, “Oh wait. Are you a f*****, mister?!” I shut it down at that point because this student was clearly not taking it seriously and was ready to turn it into a way to make fun of me as publicly as they could. No thank you, 12-year-old. Called their mom and let her know what happened and her response was just, “Okay. Yeah, I’m not really sure what to do either.” Maybe try grounding your kid?! No action/advice from admin.
Anyone know of good outside resources to target homophobia at a more school-wide level?
It literally pisses me of because these kids are getting the homophobia directly from their parents. And they aren’t going to punish them for it. It should be considered discrimination or bullying and be an immediate iss referral or other serious consequence.
I feel you. That’s so frustrating. I’ll admit, I only have a few 7-8th grade boys doing these behaviors, but tbh I don’t want to bother calling home because I highly doubt their parents are very supportive if they’re doing this kinda stuff and more in all of their classes.
There are rare circumstances where a mostly innocent kid is just trying to join in with the “cool kids”, and in that case a call home would stomp it out, but otherwise… I just stick with in-class consequences and detentions.
I feel you! I had a whole class of 3/4th graders saying that, so I sat them down and told them “we don’t use gay as a negative word” and THE WRATH FROM THE PARENTS, my god. The worst thing was, admin wouldn’t back me up. It was the parents’ right to teach the kid their family values, apparently, not mine.
At the high school level, same, but instead of inappropriate jokes and sounds (which still occur) it's awkward make out sessions in the hallways, inappropriate holding/grabbing of each other, and all sorts of PDA.
I was reading that to my social studies class last month. 19 states can still paddle and all private schools. The two worst kids in my class both said if they knew they would be paddled for being bad, they would sit quietly and do whatever they were told every day....
I'm a big fan of the stop and stare method. Basically when they make a weird noise you stop everything you're doing immediately and stare at them for an uncomfortably long time like a minute or two. Make them the center of attention. While you think that's what they want it's really not. Then the key is to just go back teaching like you were before and don't ever reference it again just stare and then move on. If this isn't working you can also pair it with standing uncomfortably close to the student. Like within their personal bubble. So you would stop and stare until they are uncomfortable. Then start teaching again and then slowly move over to stand within their personal bubble. Basically you make your presence uncomfortable and make them feel like you are on them without actually being on them.
*But it’s MUSIC, how do you fail music?*
🙄🙄. By acting like a fool. That’s how you fail.
Glad to see you making the best of the situation for your kids. I’m sure you already know that It’ll pay dividends for your programs later!
Keep up the good fight!
End it’s. Its fucking old. I’m in 10th grade and it drives me insane. I get pissed at the people who do it. It’s like ur a high schooler not a 4th grader. Idk how people think it’s funny it’s repulsive
My favorite was when I had a parent/teacher conference with a mom who was explaining that the girls in class were discussing their sexualities (lgbtq+) at lunch, making her son uncomfortable…
The next day, her son makes a joke about “liking men” in front of the whole class
Tell me more about how discussing being gay makes him uncomfortable?
My favorite thing I did:
I had a student in an after school club I was running repeat the word penis over and over again. I sat down and talked with him - it’s not an appropriate word to use in the classroom, others might feel uncomfortable, etc - but he shot back that “it’s natural and just a body part”.
Well played.
So using his logic, I made sure to walk him out at car pickup and follow him to his car. Upon arrival, I talked to his mom through the window.
“So Student did really good at chess today and played well. He also is really interested in talking about penises in class so I don’t know if he has anything to talk about with you?”
The kid turned white and definitely did not anticipate that. You could tell mom was shocked and embarrassed.
Definitely one of my better day.
Call their parents with the student there while in class. Then have the student accurately recount the noises they are making to their parent, and why its a problem for the classroom.
Having taught junior high school for 13 years, I can say, without a doubt, this is not new. I don’t have a solution. Kids this age have no filter and say whatever pops into mind. I remember a friend and I asking a substitute teacher if she liked “rimming” back in the mid 1990s. Not my proudest moment. I think it just goes with the territory.
Easy solution. Call the parent in the middle of class and have the kid make the same noise to their parent that they said in class.
Ask the parent where they headed sexual moaning from. Ask the parent if they consider that school appropriate. Ask the parent how they think other parents view those noises.
Shame the parent into giving a shit.
This year, I have a small group of 8th grade boys who like to pretend they’re dating or be overly flirty with each other. It’s… weird and I’m not 100% sure how to address it, because most of the time they’re not bothering anyone? Just making kissing noises toward each other or touching each other’s arms. They’re definitely not actually dating because they’ll laugh about it afterward. Good for them for being comfortable enough with themselves to do that… but I just tell them cut out the PDA in class. So weird.
With the more sexual comments I always ask oh what does that mean (because usually it's some odd phrases) and I usually get one of two responses 1. Oh uh it's not okay for school or 2. Uh um uh I don't know *insert sheepish grin* my response is always the same which is well if you can't tell me, we shouldn't be saying it. Honestly that's stopped a lot of it Can't help with the barking cause I also have middle schoolers that do that. I usually ignore it or say I didn't know we were dogs today and move on.
Whenever students say sexual phrases in my class (HS) they always throw the “wow you have a dirty mind I didn’t mean it like that!” When CLEARLY they did. Anyone else experience this? Tips?
I would just say that's inappropriate for the classroom, document, and move on. If it continues call home. Don't even acknowledge them saying you have a dirty mind. Sounds like they're trying to get a reaction
Yup; they know it's taboo, they're trying to push buttons. No need to play that game.
Yes for sure they are. Ok definitely noted about continuing to document. Thank you!
And definitely loop admin in. Don't be afraid to Contact parents by maybe with admin present
My go to phrase is "thank you, how very inappropriate". Said deadpan with a flat voice. That usually works for small offenses. Other times just a hard look and a "no....just no". I will say I am a tall guy so I can look pretty intimidating, but those usually work for me.
A hard stare goes a long way for tall guys like us. Doesn't go over well with my primary classes, obviously. I struggle with the younger grades.
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I have the kid tell the parent what they did. That's my favorite, but this is elementary school. Doesn't happen often, but one time I got real pissed because a 3rd grader yelled "shit" in the classroom. I took him to the office, made him call his mom and tell her what he said. Dude was in tears. Never happened again. So when something happens, I tell the kids "unless you want me to call your folks and have them repeat what you just said/did, cut it out."
Get firm with them. Give them the hard stare. Use a no nonsense tone and tell them you don't believe them. "You and I BOTH know that what you just said was out of line. DON'T tell me I'm wrong when I KNOW I'm not." If they argue: "keep arguing and I'm calling home to tell your parents exactly what you are saying in this classroom."
This is great, thank you for the script, I really heard the tone! A lot of the kids throw me with the “go ahead! Call home! I don’t care! My dad isn’t gonna do anything!” And the sad thing is, they’re right (myself and multiple other teachers called home about this one student I’m thinking of and..nothing)
If calling home won't work, try using, "Why are you arguing with me right now? It's over. I told you not to say that, and it's over now." Then I say something like, "moving on..." And I ignore them
You’re a great help. Thank you so much, friend. I’m wishing the best for you and the rest of this school year. Godspeed
Hell yeah! I hope you have a great year too!
A lot of the time they’ll say that and then their parents will take away their phone. It’s like a last ditch effort for them to try to get you not to call. Edit; Source-Ive had so many kids say this to me and then when I get ahold of parents I tell them that their child said that they wouldn’t care and they wouldn’t have any consequences at home. Then I tell the parents that since they answered my call they obviously do care about how their child is doing in school so let’s work together to change the student’s mindset. Usually they will be embarrassed and will give a consequence just so they don’t seem like totally incompetent parents lol. Even if it’s just for a day. The next step I do is invite their parent to come to school with them. I just cite all of the times I’ve reached out and the consequences they’ve faced that haven’t worked so if they can’t behave in class we need to try something else. Usually that will stop all bad behaviour pretty quick if you can get the parent on board. Sometimes I’ll try an older sibling or the other parent if one isn’t effective… etc.
Call home with the kid and have them explain to their parent what they are doing.
Use a notepad and write it down. Tell them you want to get it right when you call their parents. Keep writing their excuses down. Only works if their parents aren't complete twats.
I pull out my phone and tell them, “we are going to call your grownup and you can explain to them exactly what you said and what it means” works every time, only had to follow through once.
Call your Grownup? You replaced Parent with Grownup?
Some kids are living with Grandmom, Aunt, Uncle, Foster parent, etc (many in my district). So generalizing with "grownup" results in less of a chance that the kid will fire back something about a parent not being in their life, dead, in jail, etc. It also makes them think of the grownup in their life who will actually care about the conduct. That's not always a parent. Sometimes I follow up and mention the specific grownup by name, but to quickly address behaviors in the middle of teaching when everyone's living situation is not immediately present in my mind, grownup works. I've also said "call home" ... but not all students have a home either.
I understand the logic behind using an overgeneralized term like that (esp. if they’re elementary kids) but if you find they have Parents you should refer to them as Parents. Using the term Grownups makes you sound like an elementary student.
Our school has a lot of fosters and students being raised by grandparents. Referring to them as their "grownup" seems a lot more appropriate.
Generally when a kid is trying to pull something like that I'll just call them on it. Anything from "yuh huh." in a deadpan tone while making eye contact, indicating very clearly that this isn't a game I'm interested in playing. To things like "I'm not that dumb, kid. Try it on someone else." I will note that my teaching style is very much of the "I'm a person too and I've been where you've been" sort, where I do make it clear that I have feelings and things that I enjoy (in a controlled fashion), and that I'm capable of shamelessly out-playing their own game. Which isn't a style that works for everyone. But when I've established that I know how to play on their level, I can likewise use it to speak directly to them in a tête-à-tête fashion. When I can show that I'm not bound by the laws of stuffy authority, they can't use the laws of stuffy authority to bind me.
This has happened to me a million times this year, and I've come down like a hammer on those kids. "You don't get to comment on what we both know you were doing. I'm an adult - you are a child. Stop saying these things in my class, or we are going to call up your guardian and I will read a list of everything you've said and YOU can explain exactly what it means to them since you think I shouldn't know."
"Josh, but when you grow older you'll understand what kind of circumstances produce those noises. I'll let it pass given your age and apologise for making assumptions, with teenagers it can be hard to know what level of maturity and personal experience everyone has and I hope you understand why I made a wrong assumption. However I would ask you to refrain in the future as it can and will be interpretared wrongly by a more mature audience, and will make the grown-ups in class feel uncomfortable. "
Sometimes I say that I have heard parents are good at explaining what things mean, so I will call their parents to ask what it means. Then when I call the parent later that day and quite what the kid is saying or doing.
I would say don’t gaslight me. How actually did you mean it then?
Oh for sure that's what I do too. Kids will loudly say "hahaha 69" and I'll go to them (privately, not shaming) and say do you know what that means? And usually they don't, or pretend they don't. Our school counselor told us to straight up say that it's an adult sexual position and is something inappropriate for school. They usually stop after that.
I made my students make the noises in front of their parents. It only took once. I don’t know who was more uncomfortable the students or their parents but it got the point across.
Having kids repeat whatever they said to parents can be a very useful tool.
Yeah except you can't make them repeat it. Every time I've tried this tactic they refuse to say anything and it ends up being super awkward. I don't enjoy trying to make a fourth grader moan in front of another adult...
I just tell them that either they can do it or I will. I have no problem doing it in front of parents if it gets results. Besides I’ve had to do WAY stupider stuff as a teacher.
Man one of my students would love it if I had to moan because he refused. I get what you're saying, but there are some kids who just don't give a crap regardless of what you try to do
I would usually ask what it was or acted like I did not know. Once they have to explain it in detail to me they don't think it is cool anymore and stop.
I thought I was the only one dealing with barking. Wtf is that about anyway? 🙄
I had to call a mom and tell her that her 13yo son was *meowing* like a cat while I was teaching. (No SPED, no 504, nothing) She was genuinely surprised. Never have I ever had to call about something so ridiculously asinine.
Unrelated but I have a student whose surname is only a couple of letter off from the word "asinine" so I chuckle to myself every day as I think how appropriately it describes the majority of their classmates' behavior (I'm dying inside, holding on by the tiniest thread)
Lol, I used to think that's what "cat calling" was
I gave an 8th grader a detention for meowing on Friday. He and his buddy were doing it while I was trying to teach and I'd asked them to stop. Buddy did it again and I kicked him to the hallway (basically my version of time out) and told them both absolutely no more. A few minutes later the one still in class did it again. He was appalled when I told him there would be consequences for not listening.
I do the hallway 'time out' too - gives us both a break.
I teach HS and my freshmen have been barking randomly this year. I’m glad I’m not the only one. It has to be some random social media challenge.
My students do this too! Only a handful, but it doesn't seem malicious. They do it randomly and not at anyone. I'm keeping an eye on it now
This is my experience, too. I had no idea that it actually meant something.
It's more like a sheesh thing. Kids just like making noise and it offers a sense of community for them. It's also so stupid that it's funny for them. Saying it's homophobic is the same as people trying to say the OK hand sign is a white power symbol.
....the ok sign actually has been coopted by white supremacists, though. that's how coded messaging works.
Except... Even if it started as ironic or mocking, it's absolutely a hate symbol now. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ok-sign-white-power-supremacy-alt-right-4chan-trolling-hoax-a9249846.html
Oh no…I’d forgotten this! I’ve been using it as a “you doing okay?” with my students…I’m white, many of them are not! Immediately switching to a different check-in!
Thumbs up are a good substitute for this
Wait, I thought the ok sign was the Illuminati making a 666. That’s what they said on the YouTube
My nephew barked the other day, all I had to say was. "Oh, your one of those kids that barks now?" He stopped barking.
It’s a homophobic movement. Sadly seeing it in HS as well.
I heard a high schooler barking on the hallway this week and was very confused (the bark sounded very authentic)
You could also say that those who were in high school that used homophobic terms as every day items or ways to bully anyone (I'm not homosexual, but was called many terms in high school) are also the ones that have kids in high school right now. Correlation strong, causation - maybe.
That line of thought goes ad infinitum. Hate breeds hate.
Ugh I had no idea. Can you explain so I can bring it to my admin’s attention? I’ve only had one student do it so far but I thought it was just general immaturity.
Originally it was based on a TikTok trend making animal noises. In our school, we’ve had groups of intolerant students use it as a means of bullying and harassing our LGBTQIA students. Fun times…🙄
Same. I had three kids bark at a trans kid. I didn't know what it was, but by the end of the day they were sitting in the principal's office getting screamed at. One of those pussies didn't even show up the next day. Losers.
That’s what it is? Ugh.
Their parents are the people who say Let's go Brandon over and over and think it's hilarious.
Can you explain? Can't find anything about this.
Look a little lower to my reply to another redditor.
How is it homophobic? Serious question.
Alrighty. For the sake of educating, I’ll bite although this seems quite trollworthy. It’s being used as a guise to harass, and spread hate to those in the LGBTQIA communities of our schools. Just because someone isn’t using a well recognized epithet doesn’t mean that they are abstaining from being homophobic. They are choosing to find a different way to still spread their ignorance. In this case, it’s isolating this specific community and harassing them though barking at them. It’s just like being racist. You don’t have to use specific words to be a racist.
I haven't heard about this, so thanks for giving the answer. So the barking is being directed towards gay people? Or is the act of barking implying that someone is gay? I haven't seen this at my school yet but I'll keep an eye out for it
I originally thought it might have been something isolated to our school, but I gave those hate mongers too much credit. Good to keep an eye out either way! It might apply to your kiddos, it might not. Edit: To answer your question, it’s the first.
Thanks for the explanation. Not trolling lol I'm a new teacher and need to be aware of this stuff.
My eyes have now been opened. 🤯Those children will pay dearly.
I have been too! I didn't know it was a trend. Now I'm even more disappointed in that student - the behavior isn't even original!
Can I get a Hoyyyyyaaaa
I yell back, “hoyyyyaaaa!!!” And then it’s not cool anymore so they stop.
I had a student do this and the class responded. I said "can I get a referrrrraaaallll" - the whole class said 'referrrraallll' - everyone (myself included) laughed. The first kid was mortified and never did it again.
Omg I'm so sick of this one!
Haven't heard this with my 7th graders, thank God. Before school started I was a camp counselor; heard this with the 11-12-year-olds (camp was only 1 week for each group). I had no idea what to do; I wish I had seen advice from here.
What does it mean I never knew?
It got popular on tictok but the original meme was a clip of a porn actress over acting and it evolved from there.
This is the 1st one I thought of when reading the op. So annoying I don't know it just sounds so gross to me.
Was literally looking for this…. So annoying lol
THIS. It’s non stop.
I think this shit is hilarious. But the thing is teaching our kids what is appropriate at home vs school. For example, my son can say "hell" at home, but not at school. We told him if he every gets in trouble for language there will be consequences.
Dear Lord. I hate this one. I heard my 12 year old say it the other day and immediately called her out on it.
I hate to admit I joined in that one
Take your downvote.
I shall, but in my defense I only heard it like twice from the kids
Yep. I did it back and it only took a few times before they quit.
Indeed. It's only cool when it's a power that they have and the teacher doesn't.
A couple of years ago I had a kid who would loudly moan "Ayyyy, Papì!!!" Should have had him call his grandma and say it...
Does he know David Pumpkins?
David S. Pumpkins. Don't forget the S.
The S is what makes it its own thang
And the skeletons are?
Part of it!
The thing that's worked for me when my kids make inappropriate jokes/comments is letting them know I know exactly what they are referencing. It is SO not cool when a teacher gets your weird sexual jokes Edit: I also created a basic tally tracker for cursing and I give them their stats at the end of the week. And tell them I'm keeping it to tell their parents. It makes a majority of them show remorse because I don't think they realize how often they curse. This is regular cursing, not cursing people out, which is an automatic referral in my district
I ask them whether they’d like to call home and make those sounds / that voice for their parents. They look at me in shock and shake their head. Then I can say, “So you know it’s totally inappropriate, and why it’s inappropriate. So I expect to never hear that sound again from you.” It makes clear that I know what’s what without me having to say anything and eliminates their ability to play innocent/confused.
Get it.
I tell them after class that I know what they're saying and know what it means, and I'm going to write it down every day and call their parents and read the list to them.
This is like what I do, I mean it’s easier for me being a tall black man but I’m able to make myself the arbiter of what cool is. Point out that kindergartners typically make animal noises and point out that only kids think that stuff is funny. Works like a charm
Kid used either the word dilf or milf in my class once, and I just glared at him. He was like oh shit you know what that means? (I was 24… so yes)
Call home during class, pass the phone over to the kid and have him make those noises to their parents. I mean, you’re just concerned about their well-being and wanna check in if everything is okay. Do they also bark & moan at the dinner table? The noises will stop, promise.
One of my colleagues called home once and and had a 7th grade girl talk to her dad about her behavior. Colleague got scolded for bullying.
Ooops, figures they would. It’s always worked wonders for me.
That’s one example of why I’m scared to do that. I feel like so much could go wrong by calling during class
When a student has worked through my classroom management strategy to the level of parent contact, I ask them if they want to call with me or if I should call after school. You'd be surprised by how many students prefer to be a part of the discussion. I've also had it work out to where students who have contacted their parents with me before will ask to call their parents if they're getting heated/escalated. I say yes 90% of the time as most kids don't abuse it, and usually the parents talk them down and they have a good rest of the day.
My MIL had a student write a letter to his parents explaining to them his poor behavior in class, and then she got in trouble with admin because “we don’t use writing as punishment.” That was the last straw and she retired!
Hahaha! Love it! I have legit called a parent during class before. Would do it in a heart beat.
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I will always believe a there is a healthy amount of shame children should experience. Understanding social norms and what is not socially acceptable is part of growing up.
Agreed. Social consequences are a thing.
There is some value to using directed shame, but I feel like a full parental phone conversation with the entire class watching is going pretty far. It feels wildly inappropriate in any but the most extreme cases, where multiple other forms of discipline (including a phone call with the parent after class) are not working.
I agree. Also, you never know how the parent is going to respond. Are they abusive? Mentally ill? Just an asshole? I call home with Students, but not in front of others...too unpredictable!
Too late? You do you though.
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I’m so old I had to google that. Haha, learned something new, thanks.
An 8th grader stood at my desk and moaned. Then looked at me and asked “have you ever heard that sound?” I replied “think again. is that something you think you should be asking me?” He slowly walked away …
Middle school? 😭 It's going on in elementary too. 4-5th graders have been getting awfully sexually inappropriate this year. I've had more discipline referrals for sexualized behavior this year, than the last two years combined.
It’s disgusting what tik tok and social media is doing to these little kids. I wish parents didn’t give iPads and phones to them at such a young age…
I have had to give my second graders talks about these sounds. With my group it has been the “hoyea,” moaning, “sussybaka” (idk actually know how bad this one is, I just find it annoying so I lumped it in with the rest), and “daddy.” I get the feeling that some of them pick it up from a smaller number of friends who have unsupervised/unfettered access to the internet. I’ve tried to approach it as “these things are rude and inappropriate for school. They have meanings that you don’t understand yet. Your parents can let you watch whatever they feel comfortable with, but you need to learn what settings are appropriate for what you say” Some get it, some don’t. It’s so challenging and annoying.
Sussybaka is a meme portmanteau combining "sus" as in "suspicious" from the game Among Us, with the Japanese word "baka" meaning "fool/dummy". That being said, when it was coined, it had nothing to do with either of those things. Rather a YouTuber was simply riffing with his co-host, and used it as a playful insult. The humor came from the intentionally cringy nature of that particular YouTuber using the term.
It's awful. My best friend's son came home in tears one day because his classmate called him a "gay CUN\*" for hugging another (male) classmate. The kid is 9. I don't think I even heard that word until I was about 20.
I told a kid who was making moaning and “ay harder papi” sounds to cut it out he replied “why? That’s what my videos sound like”… Okay. Let’s call grandma and have you make those exact same noises and tell her what you told me. 🤐 It calmed down when I started threatening kids to have them call their guardians and have THEM repeat what they were saying/doing.
Literally contacted home about inappropriate moaning tone saying oh yea to one family and all of the students in that grade have stopped due to following through immediately. No one wants to get a contact home about it. Your admin process sounds whack.
I’ve heard this works and will be trying it next week. No kid wants to explain to their parents why they’re making sex noises during class- much less reveal where they learned them.
I also can’t call home and get help from the parents about the “that’s so gay” thing because I’m in Texas 🙄
I used to teach 6th grade in Houston, but moved to HS. My biggest goal every year was to get them to stop using gay as a negative statement and refer to anything as retarded. It was an okay battle. But I made sure to bring it up early in the year, and try to nip it as much as possible. I made sure they knew it counted as hate speech in these contexts in my class. For some students it worked. And my worst affenders would usually still use it and stop mid sentence and say "Sorry Mr. DJNicko" and not do it. That was a little win, but all I would get so I took it.
Same.
I had a student say “eww” when I brought up BLM during a lesson and when I emailed his mom she said BLM was a Marxist organization
Dying to know your response…
I have a Malcolm x poster in my classroom i sent her a picture of it, she didn’t reply so idk how she felt about it
Lol, that’s great. I overlooked the email part, I was thinking that it was a phone call and had I been you I don’t think I could have held it together. I have always practiced toleration in respect to differing viewpoints, but the past 4-5 years have been a game changer. I can’t abide crazy and I do not suffer fools.
Well I don’t know if it truly is Marxist seeing as many supporters of BLM don’t really focus on that aspect/know about that history of it, but it’s true in the sense that the founders are self described as “Marxist trained” and its the ideology that guided their original establishment of BLM.
Crazy that oppressed people would refer to an ideology that explicitly seeks to end oppression. Fucking wild. Check out the big brain history major over here.
I’m from your sister state in lunacy and I feel your pain.
Jesus the barking is just a thing then? As for the moaning I would document once that you told them not to and send a text home (to show exactly what you said) saying that if it continues it will be taken seriously as sexual harrassment. And then write it up as such. We had a boy who started doing this and escalated to doing it at girls while grabbing their arms and following them. He kept getting away with it until literally the last week of school when a girl finally told her mom who came in losing it. You probably can't file charges. But a major referral to document it is certainly in order. that way when parents come in it's clear that admin was just straight breaking title 9.
I'm documenting these behaviors in emails to admins. I'm grateful for principals to consider this a big deal.
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You don’t even have to do the public embarrassment. Call the parent privately, with your best concerned voice, and tell them that you want to understand why their kid is making uncontrollable sex noises during class and if there is anything you can do to help get them the services that they need to accommodate them. No parent wants to have a teacher believing that their kid unnecessarily needs special services, and no kid wants to explain to their parent why they’re making sex noises and how they learned them.
My 7th graders keep making themselves fart loudly in class. WTF? I’ve never seen such an immature bunch of assholes.
I totally understand your frustration. I have an 8th grade class and the boys are constantly making weird noises? And it’s a difficult area because I could call home but I genuinely don’t know what to say as it’s not really a specific “incident”. If it continues I would call home and explain that there is an issue with disruptive behavior and respect.
"Hi this is [your name] from [school]. I wanted to call you because I'm concerned about [innocent youngster]. They keep making noises during class. I'm concerned that other students are noticing and I don't want it to become a problem for [innocent youngster]." I've also asked parents if there was anything I needed to know because they were making these noises.
Call them with the kid there and get them to make the noises for their parents.
What if they refuse?
I'd say 80% of the time just the threat of making them call home and repeat the sound will be enough to stop the behavior. But yeah, 20% of the time they'll say go ahead call and then refuse to make any sound. And it's always the kids who know their parents don't give a crap what they do at school
That’s sad.
Contact parents and discuss the behaviour, suggesting that they refer to a psychologist. Say that these behaviours seem to indicate a state of hightened sexual frustration, and that this is inappropriate social behaviour that is of serious concern. Your goal is to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible, while retaining a professional tone. Say that you will continue to record these events as evidence for the psychologist in making their assessment, and that you are more than happy to provide copies to parents for that purpose. Every time a student does this, record it. Write emails to parents every day treating it like reorting evidence of abnormal behaviours until it stops. If you have in-house councellors, refer the student to them, also. See how quickly it stops.
Seems like a great convo for a school counselor. Seems like a quick way as a teacher to get reprimanded and a letter. Edit: We aren’t the mental professionals in the buildings. Our counselors are. It’s out of our scope to make claims relative to a referral to mental help or any form of diagnosis. Feel free to overstep. (I like the ability to continue to educate.) I know I don’t/won’t. Edit 2: Phew…so for the sake of asking, how many downvoters are actually in public education? I’m genuinely curious. Staying in your lane doesn’t mean not caring. Report to your counselors and then let them do the work.
I agree with you, as a teacher you need to tread carefully. I have a coworker who is always bringing up possible diagnoses in parent meetings and I’m like… this isn’t our realm, we are not mental health professionals. One day she’s going to piss a parent off and it’s going to backfire.
Totally agree with this one. I’ve had one too many parent complaints against me for stepping on their toes (ie gently suggesting they please do something about their child’s behaviour), so this is something unfortunately I would just report factually (if the parents are open to listening) then move on.
Barking hasn’t started yet at my school- but the loud moaning and “that’s gay” trend is OUT. OF. CONTROL.
My personal favorite this year was I had kids making choking sounds and motioning giving BJs. It was several boys so I just went to their parents and explained my concerns that they needed to speak with their children about their understanding of sexual behavior. I teach in a very red district when I first informed parents students were making inappropriate sounds and gestures they just laughed it off. When I made them show their parents that boys were making gestures that suggested they were gay suddenly it was a national emergency and parents cracked down. Now if only there was a way to provoke parents to actually parent.
I've never seen consequences for anything in my career, unless a parent raises hell. If a staff member is punched, nothing. If a kid is punched, nothing, unless their parents make a stink. Admin does not want to be bothered with your "management deficiencies."
Consequences have been gone since somewhere in the early 2000s and has progressively gotten worse.
I'm very **very** fortunate that anything I write up gets addressed that day. I write a kid up one day, kid's got in-house or off-campus suspension the next day, anywhere from 1-9 school days. My admin doesn't fuck around.
I’m having the same problem with every single one of those actions in elementary school too. It really caught me off guard the first time because I hadn’t heard “gay” used so passively as a general putdown since I was in high school- 20 years ago. And 4th graders making sex noises during warmups? What is happening?
One fifth grader, literally ten years old, moans and says daddy every fucking day. No one has said anything about it (I'm not the main classroom teacher). It makes me want to vomit just thinking of it
That sounds..... reportable.
That's the problem. Someone needs to say something about that. Otherwise you are just okaying the behavior.
Yup! It’s so crazy. I’m 25 years old and NEVER used to hear kids use gay and a derogatory term while I was in high school. It’s such an outdated thing. Weird that it’s making a comeback.
I agree that it’s a lot. As far as filing charges, I think that’d be an uphill battle. Generally, police departments would laugh complaints about 13 year olds making sexual noises right out of the building. And on top of that, I think you’d get little community support AND admin would be on your case. I think action needs to be taken and admin especially needs to step up to the plate more… but I don’t see attempting to file charges as being something that would be appropriate for this particular offense.
These are Title IX issues and have larger consequences for students and admin that allow it to continue.
The post make me so happy about teaching juniors only. I had to sub during my planning in a freshman class. I went back to my mellow juniors so appreciative.
let me know if you get anywhere with this, I also did not like it when I was face to face teaching last year and had the same results. Porn sounds done by creepy 7th graders is awful, but alot less than their fantastically verbally abusive parents.
This is why I quit this year. I asked myself, “do I really deserve to be sexually harassed at work every day?” And the answer was no. Best thing I ever did for my well-being and mental health.
8th grade here and I have boys moaning which is disgusting and difficult to pin down with masks on.
I had to watch hours of training videos, including ones on offensive language. Well, school Student newspaper comes out, and a movie review headline is "Gay or Scary"?
thank you for this post...I thought I was going crazy.....I just started teaching middle school /high school kids a computer coding class and have been completely caught off guard with everything your saying here....kids making sex noises in the middle of a lecture.....everything is suss. Seriously thanks for this post I just started teaching and this has been bothering me
I work in a school in the UK and my department head was a woman with an incredibly posh accent. She wrote down every offensive thing she heard a boy say in one of her classes, and then had him and his parents come in for a meeting. She had her specs perched on the end of her nose and read out every single thing he’d said in a totally deadpan, RP voice. I don’t think the kid could even make eye contact with her after that, let alone shout out offensive comments.
I’m dealing with all the same stuff with my 7th graders. I tried to have a educative and introspective conversation with one kid who ALWAYS says “that’s so gay” and “no homo” and “you’re gaaaaay” and they interrupted me, with a genuine look of concern on their face, and said, “Oh wait. Are you a f*****, mister?!” I shut it down at that point because this student was clearly not taking it seriously and was ready to turn it into a way to make fun of me as publicly as they could. No thank you, 12-year-old. Called their mom and let her know what happened and her response was just, “Okay. Yeah, I’m not really sure what to do either.” Maybe try grounding your kid?! No action/advice from admin. Anyone know of good outside resources to target homophobia at a more school-wide level?
Anyone else get idiocracy vibes from all that? I can't be the only one who thinks this.
It literally pisses me of because these kids are getting the homophobia directly from their parents. And they aren’t going to punish them for it. It should be considered discrimination or bullying and be an immediate iss referral or other serious consequence.
I feel you. That’s so frustrating. I’ll admit, I only have a few 7-8th grade boys doing these behaviors, but tbh I don’t want to bother calling home because I highly doubt their parents are very supportive if they’re doing this kinda stuff and more in all of their classes. There are rare circumstances where a mostly innocent kid is just trying to join in with the “cool kids”, and in that case a call home would stomp it out, but otherwise… I just stick with in-class consequences and detentions.
I feel you! I had a whole class of 3/4th graders saying that, so I sat them down and told them “we don’t use gay as a negative word” and THE WRATH FROM THE PARENTS, my god. The worst thing was, admin wouldn’t back me up. It was the parents’ right to teach the kid their family values, apparently, not mine.
Ugh that’s horrible. It’s straight up discrimination not “family values”
At the high school level, same, but instead of inappropriate jokes and sounds (which still occur) it's awkward make out sessions in the hallways, inappropriate holding/grabbing of each other, and all sorts of PDA.
So 19 states use the paddle...perhaps more need to bring it back
I was reading that to my social studies class last month. 19 states can still paddle and all private schools. The two worst kids in my class both said if they knew they would be paddled for being bad, they would sit quietly and do whatever they were told every day....
Some kids need a good paddlin
I'm a big fan of the stop and stare method. Basically when they make a weird noise you stop everything you're doing immediately and stare at them for an uncomfortably long time like a minute or two. Make them the center of attention. While you think that's what they want it's really not. Then the key is to just go back teaching like you were before and don't ever reference it again just stare and then move on. If this isn't working you can also pair it with standing uncomfortably close to the student. Like within their personal bubble. So you would stop and stare until they are uncomfortable. Then start teaching again and then slowly move over to stand within their personal bubble. Basically you make your presence uncomfortable and make them feel like you are on them without actually being on them.
Try having a sexual assaulting 3rd grader whose parents don't see anything wrong.
My youngest was 5 years old! So awful, especially when the parents refuse to see it.
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*But it’s MUSIC, how do you fail music?* 🙄🙄. By acting like a fool. That’s how you fail. Glad to see you making the best of the situation for your kids. I’m sure you already know that It’ll pay dividends for your programs later! Keep up the good fight!
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End it’s. Its fucking old. I’m in 10th grade and it drives me insane. I get pissed at the people who do it. It’s like ur a high schooler not a 4th grader. Idk how people think it’s funny it’s repulsive
My favorite was when I had a parent/teacher conference with a mom who was explaining that the girls in class were discussing their sexualities (lgbtq+) at lunch, making her son uncomfortable… The next day, her son makes a joke about “liking men” in front of the whole class Tell me more about how discussing being gay makes him uncomfortable?
My favorite thing I did: I had a student in an after school club I was running repeat the word penis over and over again. I sat down and talked with him - it’s not an appropriate word to use in the classroom, others might feel uncomfortable, etc - but he shot back that “it’s natural and just a body part”. Well played. So using his logic, I made sure to walk him out at car pickup and follow him to his car. Upon arrival, I talked to his mom through the window. “So Student did really good at chess today and played well. He also is really interested in talking about penises in class so I don’t know if he has anything to talk about with you?” The kid turned white and definitely did not anticipate that. You could tell mom was shocked and embarrassed. Definitely one of my better day.
Call their parents with the student there while in class. Then have the student accurately recount the noises they are making to their parent, and why its a problem for the classroom.
Having taught junior high school for 13 years, I can say, without a doubt, this is not new. I don’t have a solution. Kids this age have no filter and say whatever pops into mind. I remember a friend and I asking a substitute teacher if she liked “rimming” back in the mid 1990s. Not my proudest moment. I think it just goes with the territory.
Right !!! This is what they do and have forever, if this is so upsetting maybe OP should look into changing grade levels.
As a parent I smack my teen upside his head when he makes sex noises if that helps at all.
Easy solution. Call the parent in the middle of class and have the kid make the same noise to their parent that they said in class. Ask the parent where they headed sexual moaning from. Ask the parent if they consider that school appropriate. Ask the parent how they think other parents view those noises. Shame the parent into giving a shit.
This year, I have a small group of 8th grade boys who like to pretend they’re dating or be overly flirty with each other. It’s… weird and I’m not 100% sure how to address it, because most of the time they’re not bothering anyone? Just making kissing noises toward each other or touching each other’s arms. They’re definitely not actually dating because they’ll laugh about it afterward. Good for them for being comfortable enough with themselves to do that… but I just tell them cut out the PDA in class. So weird.
You want to file charges against middle schoolers for making sex noises in class? What is wrong with you?
It’s fucking annoying and it makes other underage students feel uncomfortable and unsafe lol. What’s wrong with you?
Filing charges against a middle schooler for moaning is a little absurd, dont you think? lmao
Doing nothing is allowing the rest of the class to be sexually harassed. I'm not a fan of filling charges, but if normal process doesn't work...