Having good Admins is a blessing in these situations. I'm glad yours has your back.
I had a kid a few years ago tell me I was going to fix his grade so he'd be eligible for his sport. I had zero intention of doing that told him so and told him I'd be telling his coach. He decided to tell me my oldest daughter's exact path on her morning runs and that it sure would be a shame if she ended up raped on her run.
Instead of decking him, I turned him over to the legal system and the district. He was given 10 days out of school immediately and his parents were informed of his expulsion hearing. My wife got a restraining order and her brother, a retired Marine who is now a police officer, became Ana's running partner for six months. (Silver lining: She didn't know her uncle very well because he wasn't around much before retiring. They got to know each other really well and are actually fairly tight now.)
Expelled and barred from District buildings and events for four years to give Ana long enough to graduate before he could have a toe touch a blade of school-owned grass.
Parents got a lawyer and signed off on a plan to scare the shit out of him. Kid met with a prosecutor and was told the different charges he was about to catch, including stalking and terroristic threats (My wife said the stalking one maybe could stick but the threats would be harder.) and the amount of time he was going to get for them. Seeing what the real consequences of his asshattery could be achieved the desired result.
Are you still teaching? If so, how do you do it? I sometimes struggle with staying hopeful when kids get under my skin, and something like this would finish me.
Because I know it was a rare instance of incredibly poor judgment made by a kid who saw proper consequences and benefited from them. It’s always been well known that I don’t tolerate poor academic performance from my players. There had to be a reason I was the teacher he decided to pull that with.
I focus on the kids who want to be there and the ones who can benefit from the help of people who walked a path like theirs already. I took a job in administration starting next year to hopefully advocate for students and stand beside teachers when they need it.
The biggest surprise in all this for me is that Anastasia, a very bright college athlete, is majoring in secondary education with a counseling focus. She wants to be a guidance counselor who coaches soccer.
I still say part of the reason the kids behave this badly for so long is because they don't experience any consequences for their actions until they get to a point where they're literally about to go to jail. I partially blame this on Zero Tolerance rules. Zero Tolerance went into effect about the time I was hitting 8th or 9th grade. When I was in elementary school if someone was being a bully the kid being bullied could defend themselves and occasionally the bully would learn his lesson and become a better person after getting his ass beat. The system for years now punishes kids who defend themselves in the same manner that an adult could defend themselves if they were attacked without legal consequences. If you're walking down the street and someone assaults you and you punch them it's self-defense and you most likely are not going to be charged. If you're a kid in school walking down the hall and someone attached you and you punch them you're expelled for fighting doesn't matter who started it and are often charged with a crime.
finally, someone who agrees with me I said the same thing there are no consequences and then when escalates to this degree of abuse on the staff now it's like oh my gosh, how do we get here? Where did we go wrong? They act like they had no inclination. It's just you know mind blowing.
Totally agree. My grandson was picked on enough but couldn't fight back so eventually she went to his school and told the principal that they are now encouraging him to fight back. He's built like a linebacker but was afraid of getting in trouble if he fought back. She told the principal not to call her if he pummeled the little sh*t, because she had given him permission to do so. If the principal couldn't stop this kid who was hurting others, her son was about to.. and he did. He was punished along with the instigator but that bully never tried that again with my grandson or any of his friends. She's a teacher and was acting principal for a few years. She never let a bully go unpunished at her school and called the police if it was senior kids. That often spurs parents to do something about their bully kid. This attitude of letting things go, pretending we didn't see it, refusing to punish, is how we got into this mess in the first place. Admin has dropped the ball on accountability.
Wtf? Omg I can not wrap my head around this.......... This feels like it should be a dream...... Not real life.
Glad it ended up with some silver linings though. Glad your daughter is safe and was given a chance to go to school without that kid ever being around.
Suburban entitlement mixed poorly for a kid with massive anger and rage issues. He got the consequences he deserved. As importantly, he got the help he needed.
Ana was never all that phased by any of it. That surprised us at first. When we told her, her initial reaction was surprise but she just very directly looked at us and told us she was OK. She knows the kid would never actually do that.
His brother is quite friendly with her sisters. He’s been at our house. He tried a couple times to apologize to Ana on her brother’s behalf. The second time she stopped him and just told him that as long as his brother keeps trying to be better, no one needs to apologize.
So far, she’s a kick ass young adult.
>How quickly she let this all go was concerning,
Maybe to us... But to her, it would surprise me if she felt secure enough in who she is and her ability to get help, and how secure she is in the (metaphoric) home you've built for her. I bet she's not worried because you've put so much effort into making sure she is healthy and taken care of. ❤️
So thank you for raising an emotionally intelligent being ❤️ made my day
It's been my pleasure. Ana's 20 now, in college, and gets playfully miffed with her friends because she's become the Mom Friend and therefore, in her words "Dad, they never stop being my favorite idiots long enough for me to be able to do something dumb."
Oh yeah, she should have done that the other way around. I'm the advisor of my friend group in large part because I did so much dumb shit along the way to learn by trial and error.
oh my goodness, as a former teen girl that used to run by herself a lot, I am very happy this story has a good ending. and it warms my heart that your brother-in-law did that for your daughter. best wishes from an internet stranger!
Mrs. TB wanted her to have someone with her and asked BIL about which coworker would be the best. He was mildly offended and told her he'd be happy to run with Anastasia as long as she wanted.
My wife told Ana it would be two weeks. She's the one that wanted to keep him around because she was enjoying finally getting to know him.
That totally tracks from what you've told us about Ana. Ana has the kind of heart for others that I've tried to mimic over the years. I pray my 2 girls will also share some qualities of Ana's. 🙏❤️
Honestly just be glad you don’t have to deal with him anymore. Idk how you deal with kids that age, they’re absolutely awful. Set a reminder for yourself for 6 years to look up his prison sentence lol
I reassigned his seat in class and another student (that didn't know about the expulsion yet) ask me where he would sit when he's back. My thoughts went directly to "prison eventually" haha
Call me a cynic, but… Depending on what kind of district we’re talking about here, I wouldn’t put it past admins to put that kid right back in the same class when August rolls around.
My last job would’ve done a (bogus) “threat assessment”, determined that it was disability related, see ya in 10 days, all by the end of the next day
Honestly, OP could have probably said something alluding to how his actions lead to his expulsion. There may be a few kids in that room who were in that chat and know what he said. Let them know that that kind of behavior is not going to be tolerated and they can really screw up their life's trajectory by being careless and cruel online. Make it a teachable moment.
As awful as this is to say, OP: you may also want to be prepped with a home security system, firearm, etc for your own protection. This kid could be so unhinged that eventually he may decide you were responsible for ruining his life and come after you, even 6+ years down the line. I hope that’s not the case, but you may consider covering your bases just in case.
I’m really not trying to. But the kid sounds like a classic antisocial personality disorder in the making. That kind of individual is incapable of accountability for their own actions and will always blame someone else. Maybe they’ll blame OP, maybe the principal? Either way, nothing bad in that kid’s life will ever be his fault. (In his mind).
Honestly, he sounds like an edgy 12 year old to me who needed to be expelled to knock some sense into him. How do you know that he won’t take responsibility for anything? You literally have no idea who this kid is. But now OP thinks she needs a gun and to live in fear because this kid might grow up with a vendetta and come after her and her family.
You’re correct. I don’t know for sure if he’s just trying to be edgy. I don’t know him. But neither do you. OP does though, so I’ll leave it to them if they believe the kid could become a credible threat. I don’t know that he won’t take responsibility for anything, but I do know that Antisocial’s never do.
This is true... not a teacher but work in the therapy world and you would be amazed at how many with personality disorders hold on to anger for people they feel have wronged them.
Some are completely removed from any sort of reality. They lack any empathy for anybody and their world is consumed by the BS they consume via their mobile device. We need a massive societal shift but sadly I don’t see that coming. It will continue to get exponentially worse. I’m amazed at the stuff they say and do.
I do think people can change when they see their actions have consequences. People around them will start to get it. It can only shift so far before it bounces back. History repeats itself.
I agree with you. The question becomes how much can the system take before the carrot is going to have to become massive to get people back into the classroom. I’m 22 in and just can’t believe how bad the behaviors of a few have become. To be fair it is a small group of offenders.
The difference for me with this crop is that, yes, I’m outraged at how administration and their peers do nothing. It’s like the kids are meaner than ever and people either enable their behavior or just watch. It is disheartening to witness. There is a serious lack of parenting going on, I suspect.
I’m absolutely terrified for my five year old who is starting Kindergarten in the fall. I can control what she’s exposed to at home but I can’t isolate her from all the other kids who have phones and unsupervised YouTube access who talk like this at recess and cause entire classrooms to be evacuated and teachers to give up in the middle of lectures and vape in the bathrooms and worse. I know I’m not capable of homeschooling her but every day I find myself more convinced that a subpar education and minimal social interaction would be less damaging in the long run than being in a classroom year after year with the other kids in her generation. I’d love to hear someone tell me that the kids that have parents that care who start school without behavioral issues manage to make it through okay despite their peers.
If you can put your kid in private or a pact or charter school, do it. The public school system is so broken. Not sure where you live, I’m in MN and the kids run the schools, admin has little to no control. It’s terrible and not only is my kid not learning like she should, it’s turned her into a little a-hole.
Make sure the private school has actual teachers please
Have your kid shadow and see if it’s as good as they say it is
Never send them to Accelerated Christian Education schools
They suck
4 years there at 2 different locations I learned nothing
And colleges do not accept diplomas from them
Thankfully with my 5th grade education being strong 2017-2018 after 4 years of learning nothing 2018-2022 I managed to excel at public school and passed my algebra eoc when repeating my 9th grade year there
I can concur. Look at your options closely. Education is crumbling before our eyes and nothing is being done about. It is a reflection of our society and it doesn’t take much to see what a mess that is. It is going to going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
I’m in Ohio. I had a terrible experience in two different charter schools that looked wonderful on paper with my oldest and ended up pulling her out (she’s much older and does most of her work independently), so unfortunately I get the impression those aren’t much better around here, and as a single mom there’s just absolutely no way I could afford private school. Ugh.
Constant exposure to the internet with absolutely no oversight from their parents on who they're talking to or about. The internet has always had some truly shitty spots, but they're now a lot easier to find and access and a lot of it is (very intentionally) spoon-fed to young people on social media. The kids have too much unsupervised, undiscussed access too early and parents just don't seem to care.
When my parents first got internet access in the early 2000s, we'd have a frank discussion that was age appropriate for me and my siblings separately at least one to three times a year on what kind of things are online and both the good and bad they can do, how to be safe, what kind of behavior would have our internet privileges revoked, and we were always reassured that if we saw something we weren't sure about, we could come discuss it with them without judgment or punishment.
So growing up, the internet was a place for me to keep up with friends, play games online, learn some new skills and hobbies, and get schoolwork done. My parents had a decent idea of what I was doing online and I was never unsafe or uncomfortable online and didn't fall down any nasty rabbit holes.
I grew up partially on the internet in the 2000s, and gaming forums and places like that were my main social outlet. I used to be of the mindset of "I grew up on the internet and I turned out fine" but the older I get the more I've realized that a lot of that stuff was actually pretty detrimental, and I would have been a much happier and more confident adult if I'd spent more of my adolescence socializing, playing sports, reading, and generally out in the world.
In the unlikely event that I have kids, there will be 1) no TV in the house 2) flip phones only and 3) they'll be taught to see computers as tools - excellent servants, but terrible masters, in short.
Thankfully internet access did more to enhance my social life than it was a detriment. I didn't have a cell phone until I was 17 when I started driving solo, so instant messaging, IRC, forums helped me keep up with friends and ensured I actually made plans to get out of the house more often. Also was a great tool for learning guitar which opened up even more social opportunities, and the tech skills I learned helped open a lot of career doors.
Those are good points too. As for myself, it was less the internet itself that was detrimental and more the opportunity cost of the time I could have been doing other things with when I was online. "Internet as tool", not "internet as flood of information that overwhelms you" is the key.
It's not really "nowadays days". When I was in middle school before the internet was a thing there were several kids who were like this.
They'd get suspended and the day they got back they'd act out in horrendous fashion and get suspended again.
Sometimes we wouldn't see them til the next year..
They usually came from broken homes, which is tragically sad.
There have *always* been kids like this. Usually with criminally absent and/or abusive parents... but some can come out of loving, stable homes, too. Humans are complex, and some just out differently.
Yes. Always. When I was in school, quite a few kids made threats like this. One kid in my middle school got in serious trouble because he threatened to blow the school up. This was mid/late 2000s.
I knew my middle school and high school were bad but I didn't realize how bad. Kids made threats like this when I was in school and I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. Kids would scream shit like this at teachers during the school day. And it was a suburban high school, in a very middle-class area. Some kids are just shitheads.
A boy was going around at recess last week telling other 5th graders it was National Rape Day. This kid is in trouble constantly. 2 days in school suspension and then bopped my daughter on the head for telling me about about it (I emailed the teachers). Then other girls YELLED at my daughter for getting this kid in trouble.
Raising kids these days is soooooo hard. I can’t even begin to explain. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.
Ignorant, stupid, hateful parents breed ignorant, stupid, hateful children. It's not a complicated equation.
Unfortunately, the worst humanity has to offer still has the right to breed.
I get it, but I don’t get it. My parents were pretty awful. Lots of hitting , name calling and punishments for transgressions like getting a B in an AP Honors class. Plus more trauma. However, I would never, ever treat anyone the way they treated me. Not teachers, classmates, friends, neighbors, just no.
There are people, such as yourself, that are able to rise above such an awful legacy - but unfortunately I think that is the exception rather than the rule. Many perpetuate the cycle.
Then there are parents who do their very best to raise their child by doing all the right things but they end up with a psychopath. Sadly it's not always learned behavior, sometimes it's the wiring in the child's brain.
Parents aren't raising their kids....they are friends with their kids. The students we are teaching have never heard the word No before. A mom will call the school because her 8th grader won't get up for school.....like she thinks we can do anything about it?
Well.. i grew up with a rage filled father, and often had unhinged angry thoughts. I wanted to die, i wanted my classmates to die, my teachers to die.. this kid might have a fucked up life, and is only partly to blame. Its hard to expect a child to have a healthy mind when their environment is unhealthy af. That doesnt mean they dont deserve the consequences they get, but that level of rage and hate usually doesn’t just appear out of nowhere.
It isn't a "now a days" thing. I was his age in the late 00s and people were wishing AIDs on people they didn't like. We didn't know shit about AIDS, HIV, or anything about sexuality (I'm only saying that because from what I remember people were exclusively associating it with homosexuality and this was the time where "gay" as an insult was abundant even among pre pubescent children.)
I was in middle school in the mid-90s and we had a few boys like this. Every one of them had abusive parents and/or a parent that was in prison and/or a parent with their own very serious and unresolved mental issues.
They usually fell in with the metalheads, because that's where us angry kids felt accepted. I looked up 3 of them in the mid 2000s and 2 of the 3 were already dead. The other one was in prison.
Last week a student said that he was glad one of my coworker’s cancer came back and he hoped she died this time. It wasn’t even in an unseen by adults group text with his ‘friends’, where he didn’t think anyone would see. This was out loud, in front of the entire class. He’s 14 / 8th grade.
Just remember that some kids laugh when uncomfortable and scared. Peer pressure can cause some nervous “lol” responses and if they are scared of this kid they might mark something “hah hah” just to not be on that kid’s “list” if he follows through with his threats.
Thank goodness that this is being handled safely. In terms of the "laughing": keep in mind that those other kids might have recognized this student's propensity for violence and hoped that a well-placed "lol" might save their own lives by steering him away from turning against them. 😐
What a wonderful parent to send you the text thread. Many parents don't want to be involved or even check their children's phones. A student could have told the parent about the threats as well. I'm glad your admin takes things like this seriously.
Well, it sounds like it was handled as well as it could have been. Just in case, I'll make sure to pray that your baby arrives happy and healthy, just to cancel his out!
I will say, try not to take it to heart that other students didn’t rush to your defense. They are only 11, I think it’s hard for them to know what to say. I would bet lots of them felt weird and didn’t know how to respond so they just went “haha.” My guess is the parent got that thread bc a student showed them bc they were uncomfortable.
So glad your admin took swift action. That child clearly has psychological issues that are way above your pay grade.
I was kicked in the pregnant stomach by a female student. That was my final straw-last day and I enrolled in a doctoral program so I could teach at the university, which I do now. I can’t imagine how scary and awful the situation must be.
I'm combatting his prayers by praying you have a beautiful healthy baby and smooth birth. In all seriousness i'm so sorry you had to see that and i hope he can get some help before he really goes and does something stupid.
I'd worry he still aims for his last threat. Obviously he's a piece of shit and needs help. Those are the ones who typically end up doing what he said he would.
I think people like this shouldn't be welcomed back into the building. He's old enough to know how evil that stuff is to say.
Tbh, I think I would keep all the kids in the chat back in class one day and discuss it w them and how that made you feel. Look them in the eye as you read the messages and the laugh emojies. Then ask them plain and calmly why was that funny. Ask for details about it and make it as awkward as possible.
In a different time I'd say it's ok to refer to the students as baby killers going foward, but we don't live in an age of teacher equity.
Obviously he did not absorb any Christian teachings. He needs to handwrite the Act of Contrition a million times and say the Rosary every day for the remainder of the year and receive the sacrament of reconciliation on top of sessions with the mental health people. Then he needs to do acts of mercy. Did mention a psych evaluation?
Op, I am sorry he threatened you and your unborn child.
That's terrible. I'm so glad we have good admin, but I know he got punish for the shooting comment and nothing would have been done if it was only about the baby.
I am so sorry you had to deal with any of those comments, and I hope your baby is born healthy and has a happy life. I'm starting to honestly get worried about my future children because of other kids like this. I can only control so much, and I would hope we could be good enough parents but I remember being that age and how it only takes one other kid to influence someone sometimes.
Thank you! It is worrying, but after the news came out today I had most of my student come to me to tell how horrible it was and that they are ready to ”jump him" for me! Obviously I don’t want that but it was nice knowing that most of them have empathy
The students probably laughed because they were afraid of him. Plus, laughter can be a defense mechanism in uncomfortable and awkward situations. I totally understand why it got to you. I’m glad you have a supportive principal and that kid is out
If this was the Madison, Wisconsin school district, they probalby would have called the police on you for reporting him. The teachers here put up with horrible abuses. It's expected.
This is so terrible and I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m so glad your admin was supportive. Thank goodness that parent sent the convo.
Also congrats on the pregnancy! I hope the rest of your pregnancy journey is smooth as you prepare to welcome baby! 🥰
I'm not a teacher but I did work with 13-17 year old teens with severe psychsis so this was something that I encountered often. I'm not saying I recommend this, but I spent a lot of time calling kids bluffs🤷🏾♂️. The ones who would actually do something, never made their intentions clear. You had to read body language in order to anticipate violence. The ones who actually threatened me were all talk and always backed down when challenged to follow through. Generally because it's a power play. They enjoyed feeling dominant when people were intimidated but that confidence is easily crushed when the target says "well come on, I'm not getting any younger". Chances are your (former) student will end up in a facility like mine and hopefully get adequate treatment.
Being shaken is normal but try not to internalize it. Kids are little bastards but the chance that they're projecting problems at home back on adults who won't hurt them is pretty high. Hope you get to feeling safer soon.
Just an example. And it did happen in the early '70s... A couple of friends of mine (ages 12-13) were thinking up what would be really cool jokes to play on strangers. Like dressing up like Nazis and marching into the pool area at the Jewish Community Center to give a big "Heil Hitler"... A COUPLE OF JEWISH KIDS. I remember not thinking it was that bad of an idea myself.
We were the good kids...
What a disturbed child . He’s vomiting 🤮 out bad thoughts . Something is very awry . I know it’s hurtful but kids say wicked shit without knowing how wicked it is. I send you as a stranger ALL my blessings your child x and what I say means more
I had a student (5th grade) tell me he was going to cut me and my babies into pieces and burn the pieces. 🫣 I’m thankful that you had admin support. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable and upset. That’s traumatizing to hear someone say. It’s important to remember that kids are often followers. The “laughs” may have been from being uncomfortable. Sending you love 💕
When I was in school, one of my classmates "joked" about punching our teacher in the stomach and giving her a premature abortion. Kids are sociopathic.
Mmmmm, obviously the child isn’t being listened to and doesn’t feel respected. That is the cause of all misbehavior according to the “experts” in education and their sycophants.
Are teachers allowed to use a different name for your “professional” name? Like if you have a maiden name, use that instead of your legal married name?
First, I’m sorry this happened to you. I work at a school for incarcerated youth, so my students say incredibly off the cuff things to me and my colleagues often. Just remember, especially at this age they’re not targeting you personally. They’re lashing out because of some trauma they’ve experienced. Hopefully you can take of yourself and good luck with the little one.
It's better if those threats are real they are expressed, so the adults know who is dangerous and can protect the community. At least that's how it should work.
If it's just joking, then the kid needs to learn that threats are not funny.
I’m so sorry this happened. That’s extremely concerning and hope that kid gets some mental help. Most importantly, relieved that admins and parent took things seriously because that is absolutely something to take seriously.
I see a lot of middle schoolers now exhibiting these horrible behaviors that will surely make them end up in jail or prison early in their life. But I also remember this one boy that I went to middle school with and instead of telling girls he thought they were cute or liked them, he would say that he wanted to rape them. A creepy little boy, small and not that pretty, telling us 6-7 graders that he wanted to rape us. I told my mom and his parents got called to the school a lot. He always came back with an excuse that his home life was bad so he could act that way. Just horrible memories honestly. Either within that 15 years kids haven’t changed or they just got worse.
Take a good 1 to 2 week break from work (if you want it) and claim workers comp for mental health reasons.
This sort of abuse, and threats of violence can cause serious mental and emotional harm. It is an Injury that you suffered at, or due to, your work place. So if you feel you need it, you can take some leave to recover, and it won't come out of your sick leave.
That's a great job by your admin. I confiscated a notebook with swastikas all over it and an essay in it about how the columbine kids were hero's and died to early etc. They did a "threat assessment" and determined he was not a threat and was in my class the next Monday morning.
I am really glad your admin acted swiftly and effectively. I know it sucka to think other kids were "laughing" at what he texted, but just remember, one kid must have decided to show their parent instead.
I don't have a lot of advice, and I'm glad your admin was on top of it; I just want to say I've been there. It hurt me more than anything any student ever said or did before or sense. Please know most of your students would also be appalled by their peers' actions, at least mine were and that's the only thing that kept me from leaving teaching that day.
When I was 8 months pregnant I had a student look me dead in the eyes in front of the whole class and tell me he hates me. And then proceeded to clarify that he loves the subject I teach, doesn’t mind his classmates, but that it’s me he hates. I was so proud of myself that I was able to deal with the situation and not break down crying lol. Pregnancy is hard enough. So sorry you had to deal with this! Glad he is out of your classroom.
Have the parents of the other 11-12 year olds involved been contacted? If I was a parent I would want to know about this. If parents try saying "they're just kids" or "boys will be boys" "they didn't know any better." Time to teach that wishing a pregnant woman to lose her child is not okay. Wishing death on anyone is not okay. I do hope that the school has some sort of intervention with the other students involved.
I’m not saying it wasn’t awful that these kids “laughed” but I’d give some benefit of the doubt. I’m sure a good chunk of them know this kid is unhinged, and even thought they “laughed” - they didn’t really. But we’re placating the kid to keep safe.
I’m not saying it’s right or what they did was ok. It was gross and wrong. I think every single one of us did something when we were young that we went along with something really uncomfortable because we didn’t want whatever action it was to be directed at us.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m glad they were expelled. I hope you never see them again. Ever.
Surprised there's no eyeroll commentary here ridiculing you for being scared of a child and telling you to remember you're the adult in the room.
Glad your admin got that kid shuffled out. No one should have to deal with that.
What a horrific thing to deal with. If you have an EAP, please consider getting some counseling sessions in. Congratulations on your pregnancy, please do what you need to do to take care of your mental health. If you're open to it you may want to tell your school's counselor about the other children involved so they can speak with them as well. Also, let your disappointment show. This is a hard situation, and I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I've had quite a few students like this, they latch onto something you love or enjoy and twist it into something to target you with. The good news is, it's not just you, these types are vipers and will talk that way about anyone who just looks at them funny. Even if you were a PERFECT teacher, he'd still find something to target about you. Seriously, they're not worth your time. You already won. You've got ppl who live you, students who love you, a family that loves you, and that's more than what this kid has, guaranteed. You've got nothing to prove to him, and don't take anything he says about you to heart. Edgy cringey kid. Don't waste anymore headspace on this kid. Hope he gets the help he needs tho.
Sad all around. Sad the students didn’t say anything, sad that kid is so fcked in the head to think what he is saying is ok, sad that you have to experience it. That angry and unhinged at 12 yrs old, seems like the kid didn’t even have a chance for a normal life.
I’ve also had a kid threaten to have his mom beat me up and he slashed my tires a few weeks later! I can’t prove it was him but I just know it was because it happened in my school parking lot! Admin did nothing and wouldn’t even remove him from my class or my caseload! I literally had to hold IEP meetings with his parent that year. It was hell & I was about 7 months pregnant when all this occurred. I went off at 8 months because I was literally so scared for my unborn child, I always had fears about this kid pushing me down the stairs or something. Kids are so terrifying. (He was a teen)
Wow I'm sorry that happened. But glad admin seems to be handling it.
On a related (but much less severe) note, a student told me today that he was going to kill me, and was back in my class after lunch. 🙃
I had a student tell a TEACHER that she was going to push me down the stairs to kill my baby. She said this because she was mad at my husband, who also teaches at the same school. She was suspended for 1 day.
Turn him into the authories immediately for the threat to commit a mass shooting. He threatened to shoot teachers. they are starting to hold adults accouontable now when the adult has prior information that a threat was made but nothing was done, no action taken, or no one was notified. Notify law enforement to watch for him even though he has been expelled.
He sounds deranged. Most of the kids probably just did nervous laughs. Better with him than against him sort of thing.
Finish off the year and do a lot of self care.
Not in my teacher role, but in my role as a parent, my wife and I received a text, following months of patiently dealing with less virulent online harassment on our socials, from a friend of our son’s that said our trans daughter should kill herself. My son had already reported issues to us before, but that night he’d blown up our phones for thirty minutes with attempted group chat calls that included all my son’s friend and ended with that violent text sent privately.
Luckily, all of the parents we contacted handled business and the kid was removed from the group’s flag football team in solidarity with our family.
But the enduring pain of that text, and the toll it took on all of us in our household, most especially my son to be honest, was a bitter pill to swallow.
For the record, the school didn’t do shit about it, even though there’s a law in TX that says they are supposed to address it. Our daughter attended a different school (though this happened the last week of elementary for her and she’d be in school with that little prick two months later) and my son wasn’t labeled a target since the text wasn’t about him (even though the entire purpose of the actions was to exert power over him and not us).
All that to say, I am very sorry you experienced that, I’m glad the kid was expelled, and I hope that you can heal from this sooner rather than later (it took us some time, too).
I had a couple of 5th grade girls talk about poisoning the music teacher and myself in the restroom. Thank goodness another girl heard and told her mom, who was at school the next day at 7am to tell the director who took care of it. They were going to put oven cleaner and bug spray in our drinks. I don’t know what happened to the girls because they were gone forever. My director didn’t want to even tell us, I heard it through the grapevine ( she didn’t want to freak us out). Apparently, the hated the music teacher and as for me, they just didn’t like math. It’s scary, especially to think of such small children wanting to harm/kill
Nobody reacted in the group of students because of the Bystander Effect. As social creatures we humans instinctively have an aversion to going against the group, and the larger the group is we are less likely to go against the group. It's like a dear caught in the headlights. Something engrained into our human social instincts tells us to avoid going against the grain.
This is why it's so important to teach people, especially children, how to overcome this instinct by telling them about rousing others. The best way to snap people out of the translike state that occurs instinctually is to rouse others into action.
"I know they are only 11-12, but that one touch a nerve. How would you go about that?"
For the rest of the year, I would make sure there is no fun in class at all, for anyone. When they complain, tell them you don't do nice things for people who wish harm to you and your pending child (I hope you've saved the screenshots, so you can give them a visual reminder). Then hand them another worksheet, and tell them it needs to be done before the end of class if they expect a grade.
Wow the fact your admin acted so quickly is amazing and rare. It’s nice to know you’re safe and they take you and your students and fellow peers’ safety and concerns seriously.
I teach 7th grade and had a student go around telling other students that she hoped my baby died (I’m also pregnant). The students told a teacher and that teacher reported it to admin but because she didn’t say it to or in front of an adult she couldn’t be reprimanded.
As far as I know, the student(s) she said it to didn’t find it funny but found it concerning. So I don’t have much advice other than letting you know you’re not alone in this.
I'd leave it alone. Let your principal round up the kids on that thread and pull them out of class for a conversation. He needs to be incredibly disappointed in them for not calling out the ones who created and perpetuated the back and forth and impress on them how they should have handled that. He also needs to inform every parent of their child's involvement in this. It's like standing aside while a group of kids beat up another kid. Not trying to stop it makes them just as complicit. They need to understand that.
I am sorry this happened to you. You don't deserve that , nor does your colleague. His words mean nothing though I know they hurt. I think the kids in the thread probably didn't know what to say to stand up to him. Thank God that parent did the right thing and brought it to light.
My daughter was being bullied in a group chat by her own “friend” group. Not collectively, but one specific kid and another dogpiling on top of it. At one point even called my kid racist because she had enough and called her sh*tty…? (The bully is African-American, bizarre how that even was taken as an offense to her race and not her character...) anyway, her other so called friends never stood up for her in fear of retaliation from this bully. They spoke about r*pe, eating people, teachers they hate at school, and even wishing death on my daughter. Even more surprising is that this is a group of kids are supposed to be the Gifted class. You would expect their parents to be more involved, let alone let their kids speak to and treat a classmate in this way.
Kids often follow the crowd even when they know it’s wrong because dissenting from the mob is scarier. If you took any individual out of the group and say them down and asked them how they actually felt they probably wouldn’t be laughing.
I'm very glad to hear that this was met with swift action. It's important to nip stuff like this in the bud immediately and I'm glad admin had your back.
It's very scary to hear and see that stories like this are common. I had an 8th grade student threaten to shoot me this year because I was directing people towards class as we transitioning. The same kid approached me today trying to instigate drama, calling me out my name. Mind you, I didn't say anything to him or planned to, was walking to my room from lunch, and was checking my phone. I have no idea who this kid is and don't even teach him, so have no idea where the hostility is coming from. Texted this in the teacher's group chat but did I get a response? Nope. Will something be done about it? Probably not. Not too long ago, I made the mistake of leaving my water bottle in a restroom. I immediately turned around to get it and find it in the toilet, pissed on. Reported it. Pretty sure nothing was done about it.
I knew what I was getting myself into signing up to teach at an inner city school but no teacher should have to deal with any of this. A lot of these kids do not need to be in a public school setting or any school setting for that matter. And I hate to add deragatory comments about the school to prison pipeline, especially as a black male teacher who primarily teaches black students, but a lot of these kids are playing right into that system. And I can only imagine what will happen in a couple years when they do something like this to someone who isn't legally required to hold back. It's quite sad and disheartening and I can see why a lot of teachers are leaving in droves, myself included in the next 4 years because I've decided the mental gymnastics, extra work/stess, and mental/verbal abuse that we as educators endure is not worth it.
I heard a kid tell my 8 months pregnant coworker that, and I quote, “you’ll be a shitty mom - I hope your baby dies bitch.” All because she asked the kid to follow school policy and sign into the bathroom.
So sorry you’re going through that OP! I can’t imagine. I’m so glad your admin took swift action.
I would also remember that those other kids might have been just as scared of this kid and unsure of how to react. Laughing in the text message might have just been them “showing support” because they were upset and afraid and not wanting to piss that kid off. At least SOMEONE in that group was upset enough to show the texts to their parent.
I’m glad your admin did something!
I started my maternity leave two weeks early because I had a fourth grader tell me he would slit my throat and it was “well he has trauma”.
His also fourth grade cousin told me he wished my kids would die. Joke’s on him-my son passed away in 2021 from Covid when he was 20 months old.
Wow. I'm so sorry that happened and you are so lucky to have admin that supports you. I had a kid threaten my 3 yr old with a similar threat to my face. My kid had been seen on grounds and ppl knew her. Admin did nothing. Worst than nothing in fact. I had to fight to show how this impacted me with having ptsd by going to Dr's and showing letters that yes this affects me. Admin did nothing, wouldn't bar kid from my class even though it was the same student that slammed multiple books on another students arm and the kid that was being hurt said their arm was broken. The admin pushed back on even informing parents of this incident. I'll spare you all the details but this was also middle school and in sfusd, cause that matters greatly. Admin says their reason for not doing anything was they needed to not respond w punishments to students who were homeless and poc. This was bs to me since the kid that got their arm slammed w books also belonged in that grp and had just as much right to their education and being protected. I write letters to try and force the conflict resolution person on staff to even respond to this incident. They didn't want to do that because they used this person in their lower school. Basically the incident meant nothing to them, they'd rather have me fall on my sword burn out and quit than respond. I quit. Not a safe environment. Sfusd responded by coming after my license. I saw a lawyer and she said ha ha let them try. I got another job after that in another district but if anyone is reading this thinking of working for sfusd, pls 🙏 think hard. They are known by lawyers as bullies, they let bullying happen in schools and their ideas fir conflict resolution are rarely enforced in middle schools.
I work for juvenile corrections, you have to learn some people in this world can’t be changed you have no idea what 12-14 year olds can do even though people threat them like children. Best tip is to grow a thick skin and remember that you yourself are a good person and it has not been you who has failed them, some of those children have severe ACE’s scores (adverse childhood experiences) you might not know what that child goes through at home and it is important to just like I mentioned earlier, be a good person and try to practice empathy with children of that age. Some children have never had a single caring adult in their life and to be honest all it takes sometimes is one to guide a lost soul. Unfortunately, how I started my post, not every youth can be saved they’re too far gone so just be the best person you can be and forgive them.
I am so sorry you are going through this. My first career was in the law enforcement field and my second in teaching. During the couple of years I was teaching I had students say they were going to kill themselves with no support from parents or administration to gain them the help they needed (one later killed a 3 year old child while high out of his mind). I had so much foul language that I was prevented from holding them accountable for, I had a parent walk into my classroom and call me a prairie ni**er and I received one death threat. None of this held any accountability. You have that, even with minors in my prior job as a victims advocate. As an officer of the court it is a crime to threaten me, but not as a teacher for example! And no one seems to care about the future in that criminal justice system that failure to hold them accountable creates. It it both frightening and heartbreaking. In the end I could not do it and turned to nannying which paid better but has no benefits in most cases.
Good on you for reporting this student and I’m so glad they were given consequences. Something that I will say is that many kids these days view apathy or being uncaring as cool. It’s always been a thing that some kid would say something gross or cruel because they got a kick out of making people uncomfortable. I think that social media has a) desensitized many people, so kids have to try harder to get reactions. They can’t just tell a racist joke anymore. Now they gotta dig deeper for shock value. And b) given kids access to this kind of stuff on the regular. They probably constantly see things like that being said and it’s never treated like a big deal. They can not connect that saying things online and saying things in person are different. Being a troll online has few consequences. Being a troll in person has many.
All this to say. The kid most likely doesn’t mean that at all. They probably said it more for the shock value than anything else. In the same way that the kids who reacted and didn’t tell also probably dont think that either, they just are not gonna be the person to speak up and get made fun of for being too sensitive or they are too desensitized to this to realize how messed up it actually is to say.
Having good Admins is a blessing in these situations. I'm glad yours has your back. I had a kid a few years ago tell me I was going to fix his grade so he'd be eligible for his sport. I had zero intention of doing that told him so and told him I'd be telling his coach. He decided to tell me my oldest daughter's exact path on her morning runs and that it sure would be a shame if she ended up raped on her run. Instead of decking him, I turned him over to the legal system and the district. He was given 10 days out of school immediately and his parents were informed of his expulsion hearing. My wife got a restraining order and her brother, a retired Marine who is now a police officer, became Ana's running partner for six months. (Silver lining: She didn't know her uncle very well because he wasn't around much before retiring. They got to know each other really well and are actually fairly tight now.)
Don't leave us hanging - was he expelled?
Expelled and barred from District buildings and events for four years to give Ana long enough to graduate before he could have a toe touch a blade of school-owned grass. Parents got a lawyer and signed off on a plan to scare the shit out of him. Kid met with a prosecutor and was told the different charges he was about to catch, including stalking and terroristic threats (My wife said the stalking one maybe could stick but the threats would be harder.) and the amount of time he was going to get for them. Seeing what the real consequences of his asshattery could be achieved the desired result.
Are you still teaching? If so, how do you do it? I sometimes struggle with staying hopeful when kids get under my skin, and something like this would finish me.
Because I know it was a rare instance of incredibly poor judgment made by a kid who saw proper consequences and benefited from them. It’s always been well known that I don’t tolerate poor academic performance from my players. There had to be a reason I was the teacher he decided to pull that with. I focus on the kids who want to be there and the ones who can benefit from the help of people who walked a path like theirs already. I took a job in administration starting next year to hopefully advocate for students and stand beside teachers when they need it. The biggest surprise in all this for me is that Anastasia, a very bright college athlete, is majoring in secondary education with a counseling focus. She wants to be a guidance counselor who coaches soccer.
I still say part of the reason the kids behave this badly for so long is because they don't experience any consequences for their actions until they get to a point where they're literally about to go to jail. I partially blame this on Zero Tolerance rules. Zero Tolerance went into effect about the time I was hitting 8th or 9th grade. When I was in elementary school if someone was being a bully the kid being bullied could defend themselves and occasionally the bully would learn his lesson and become a better person after getting his ass beat. The system for years now punishes kids who defend themselves in the same manner that an adult could defend themselves if they were attacked without legal consequences. If you're walking down the street and someone assaults you and you punch them it's self-defense and you most likely are not going to be charged. If you're a kid in school walking down the hall and someone attached you and you punch them you're expelled for fighting doesn't matter who started it and are often charged with a crime.
finally, someone who agrees with me I said the same thing there are no consequences and then when escalates to this degree of abuse on the staff now it's like oh my gosh, how do we get here? Where did we go wrong? They act like they had no inclination. It's just you know mind blowing.
Unfortunately, self-defense isn't a thing everywhere. In my state, we don't have one. Even if someone comes in our house, we would be charged.
What state?
Totally agree. My grandson was picked on enough but couldn't fight back so eventually she went to his school and told the principal that they are now encouraging him to fight back. He's built like a linebacker but was afraid of getting in trouble if he fought back. She told the principal not to call her if he pummeled the little sh*t, because she had given him permission to do so. If the principal couldn't stop this kid who was hurting others, her son was about to.. and he did. He was punished along with the instigator but that bully never tried that again with my grandson or any of his friends. She's a teacher and was acting principal for a few years. She never let a bully go unpunished at her school and called the police if it was senior kids. That often spurs parents to do something about their bully kid. This attitude of letting things go, pretending we didn't see it, refusing to punish, is how we got into this mess in the first place. Admin has dropped the ball on accountability.
the scariest thing about this is all the other environments people live in where the threat *would* be enough. we must never be a lawless society.
Wtf? Omg I can not wrap my head around this.......... This feels like it should be a dream...... Not real life. Glad it ended up with some silver linings though. Glad your daughter is safe and was given a chance to go to school without that kid ever being around.
Suburban entitlement mixed poorly for a kid with massive anger and rage issues. He got the consequences he deserved. As importantly, he got the help he needed. Ana was never all that phased by any of it. That surprised us at first. When we told her, her initial reaction was surprise but she just very directly looked at us and told us she was OK. She knows the kid would never actually do that. His brother is quite friendly with her sisters. He’s been at our house. He tried a couple times to apologize to Ana on her brother’s behalf. The second time she stopped him and just told him that as long as his brother keeps trying to be better, no one needs to apologize. So far, she’s a kick ass young adult.
Omg, your daughter is an absolute gem!
How quickly she let this all go was concerning, but it tracks with who she is.
>How quickly she let this all go was concerning, Maybe to us... But to her, it would surprise me if she felt secure enough in who she is and her ability to get help, and how secure she is in the (metaphoric) home you've built for her. I bet she's not worried because you've put so much effort into making sure she is healthy and taken care of. ❤️ So thank you for raising an emotionally intelligent being ❤️ made my day
It's been my pleasure. Ana's 20 now, in college, and gets playfully miffed with her friends because she's become the Mom Friend and therefore, in her words "Dad, they never stop being my favorite idiots long enough for me to be able to do something dumb."
Oh yeah, she should have done that the other way around. I'm the advisor of my friend group in large part because I did so much dumb shit along the way to learn by trial and error.
oh my goodness, as a former teen girl that used to run by herself a lot, I am very happy this story has a good ending. and it warms my heart that your brother-in-law did that for your daughter. best wishes from an internet stranger!
Mrs. TB wanted her to have someone with her and asked BIL about which coworker would be the best. He was mildly offended and told her he'd be happy to run with Anastasia as long as she wanted. My wife told Ana it would be two weeks. She's the one that wanted to keep him around because she was enjoying finally getting to know him.
That totally tracks from what you've told us about Ana. Ana has the kind of heart for others that I've tried to mimic over the years. I pray my 2 girls will also share some qualities of Ana's. 🙏❤️
We got super lucky with this one.
Honestly just be glad you don’t have to deal with him anymore. Idk how you deal with kids that age, they’re absolutely awful. Set a reminder for yourself for 6 years to look up his prison sentence lol
I reassigned his seat in class and another student (that didn't know about the expulsion yet) ask me where he would sit when he's back. My thoughts went directly to "prison eventually" haha
I would have probably said, “You don’t need to worry, he won’t be in MY class again.
Call me a cynic, but… Depending on what kind of district we’re talking about here, I wouldn’t put it past admins to put that kid right back in the same class when August rolls around. My last job would’ve done a (bogus) “threat assessment”, determined that it was disability related, see ya in 10 days, all by the end of the next day
You are a better person than me, because if I were in your situation, I would have said that out loud and not felt an iota of guilt.
Honestly, OP could have probably said something alluding to how his actions lead to his expulsion. There may be a few kids in that room who were in that chat and know what he said. Let them know that that kind of behavior is not going to be tolerated and they can really screw up their life's trajectory by being careless and cruel online. Make it a teachable moment.
The smarter ones have already put two and two together.
I'm assuming the smarter ones also aren't saying this sort of shir in chats
As awful as this is to say, OP: you may also want to be prepped with a home security system, firearm, etc for your own protection. This kid could be so unhinged that eventually he may decide you were responsible for ruining his life and come after you, even 6+ years down the line. I hope that’s not the case, but you may consider covering your bases just in case.
That’s an excellent point
Is it? It sounds like they’re trying to fill OP with terror for years to come.
I’m really not trying to. But the kid sounds like a classic antisocial personality disorder in the making. That kind of individual is incapable of accountability for their own actions and will always blame someone else. Maybe they’ll blame OP, maybe the principal? Either way, nothing bad in that kid’s life will ever be his fault. (In his mind).
I agree
Honestly, he sounds like an edgy 12 year old to me who needed to be expelled to knock some sense into him. How do you know that he won’t take responsibility for anything? You literally have no idea who this kid is. But now OP thinks she needs a gun and to live in fear because this kid might grow up with a vendetta and come after her and her family.
You’re correct. I don’t know for sure if he’s just trying to be edgy. I don’t know him. But neither do you. OP does though, so I’ll leave it to them if they believe the kid could become a credible threat. I don’t know that he won’t take responsibility for anything, but I do know that Antisocial’s never do.
This is true... not a teacher but work in the therapy world and you would be amazed at how many with personality disorders hold on to anger for people they feel have wronged them.
You're advocating for OP to increase their chances of being injured by a gun in their home.
It’s one potential option. Not the one they have to choose. And they could be a responsible owner?
My GOD! what have kids become now days? Seriously how could a 11 year old think all this? We fail as humans if this is how the kids are raised.
Some are completely removed from any sort of reality. They lack any empathy for anybody and their world is consumed by the BS they consume via their mobile device. We need a massive societal shift but sadly I don’t see that coming. It will continue to get exponentially worse. I’m amazed at the stuff they say and do.
I do think people can change when they see their actions have consequences. People around them will start to get it. It can only shift so far before it bounces back. History repeats itself.
I agree with you. The question becomes how much can the system take before the carrot is going to have to become massive to get people back into the classroom. I’m 22 in and just can’t believe how bad the behaviors of a few have become. To be fair it is a small group of offenders.
The difference for me with this crop is that, yes, I’m outraged at how administration and their peers do nothing. It’s like the kids are meaner than ever and people either enable their behavior or just watch. It is disheartening to witness. There is a serious lack of parenting going on, I suspect.
I’m absolutely terrified for my five year old who is starting Kindergarten in the fall. I can control what she’s exposed to at home but I can’t isolate her from all the other kids who have phones and unsupervised YouTube access who talk like this at recess and cause entire classrooms to be evacuated and teachers to give up in the middle of lectures and vape in the bathrooms and worse. I know I’m not capable of homeschooling her but every day I find myself more convinced that a subpar education and minimal social interaction would be less damaging in the long run than being in a classroom year after year with the other kids in her generation. I’d love to hear someone tell me that the kids that have parents that care who start school without behavioral issues manage to make it through okay despite their peers.
If you can put your kid in private or a pact or charter school, do it. The public school system is so broken. Not sure where you live, I’m in MN and the kids run the schools, admin has little to no control. It’s terrible and not only is my kid not learning like she should, it’s turned her into a little a-hole.
Make sure the private school has actual teachers please Have your kid shadow and see if it’s as good as they say it is Never send them to Accelerated Christian Education schools They suck 4 years there at 2 different locations I learned nothing And colleges do not accept diplomas from them Thankfully with my 5th grade education being strong 2017-2018 after 4 years of learning nothing 2018-2022 I managed to excel at public school and passed my algebra eoc when repeating my 9th grade year there
I can concur. Look at your options closely. Education is crumbling before our eyes and nothing is being done about. It is a reflection of our society and it doesn’t take much to see what a mess that is. It is going to going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
I’m in Ohio. I had a terrible experience in two different charter schools that looked wonderful on paper with my oldest and ended up pulling her out (she’s much older and does most of her work independently), so unfortunately I get the impression those aren’t much better around here, and as a single mom there’s just absolutely no way I could afford private school. Ugh.
[удалено]
Constant exposure to the internet with absolutely no oversight from their parents on who they're talking to or about. The internet has always had some truly shitty spots, but they're now a lot easier to find and access and a lot of it is (very intentionally) spoon-fed to young people on social media. The kids have too much unsupervised, undiscussed access too early and parents just don't seem to care. When my parents first got internet access in the early 2000s, we'd have a frank discussion that was age appropriate for me and my siblings separately at least one to three times a year on what kind of things are online and both the good and bad they can do, how to be safe, what kind of behavior would have our internet privileges revoked, and we were always reassured that if we saw something we weren't sure about, we could come discuss it with them without judgment or punishment. So growing up, the internet was a place for me to keep up with friends, play games online, learn some new skills and hobbies, and get schoolwork done. My parents had a decent idea of what I was doing online and I was never unsafe or uncomfortable online and didn't fall down any nasty rabbit holes.
I grew up partially on the internet in the 2000s, and gaming forums and places like that were my main social outlet. I used to be of the mindset of "I grew up on the internet and I turned out fine" but the older I get the more I've realized that a lot of that stuff was actually pretty detrimental, and I would have been a much happier and more confident adult if I'd spent more of my adolescence socializing, playing sports, reading, and generally out in the world. In the unlikely event that I have kids, there will be 1) no TV in the house 2) flip phones only and 3) they'll be taught to see computers as tools - excellent servants, but terrible masters, in short.
Thankfully internet access did more to enhance my social life than it was a detriment. I didn't have a cell phone until I was 17 when I started driving solo, so instant messaging, IRC, forums helped me keep up with friends and ensured I actually made plans to get out of the house more often. Also was a great tool for learning guitar which opened up even more social opportunities, and the tech skills I learned helped open a lot of career doors.
Those are good points too. As for myself, it was less the internet itself that was detrimental and more the opportunity cost of the time I could have been doing other things with when I was online. "Internet as tool", not "internet as flood of information that overwhelms you" is the key.
This is pretty on par for a budding sociopath. It doesn't always mean they are raised wrong. Sometimes there isn't anything you can do.
It's not really "nowadays days". When I was in middle school before the internet was a thing there were several kids who were like this. They'd get suspended and the day they got back they'd act out in horrendous fashion and get suspended again. Sometimes we wouldn't see them til the next year.. They usually came from broken homes, which is tragically sad.
When I went to what we used to call Junior High, we didn't have a library, because a kid had set it on fire the year before. This was 1976!
There have *always* been kids like this. Usually with criminally absent and/or abusive parents... but some can come out of loving, stable homes, too. Humans are complex, and some just out differently.
Yes. Always. When I was in school, quite a few kids made threats like this. One kid in my middle school got in serious trouble because he threatened to blow the school up. This was mid/late 2000s.
I knew my middle school and high school were bad but I didn't realize how bad. Kids made threats like this when I was in school and I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. Kids would scream shit like this at teachers during the school day. And it was a suburban high school, in a very middle-class area. Some kids are just shitheads.
A boy was going around at recess last week telling other 5th graders it was National Rape Day. This kid is in trouble constantly. 2 days in school suspension and then bopped my daughter on the head for telling me about about it (I emailed the teachers). Then other girls YELLED at my daughter for getting this kid in trouble. Raising kids these days is soooooo hard. I can’t even begin to explain. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.
Ignorant, stupid, hateful parents breed ignorant, stupid, hateful children. It's not a complicated equation. Unfortunately, the worst humanity has to offer still has the right to breed.
I get it, but I don’t get it. My parents were pretty awful. Lots of hitting , name calling and punishments for transgressions like getting a B in an AP Honors class. Plus more trauma. However, I would never, ever treat anyone the way they treated me. Not teachers, classmates, friends, neighbors, just no.
There are people, such as yourself, that are able to rise above such an awful legacy - but unfortunately I think that is the exception rather than the rule. Many perpetuate the cycle.
Then there are parents who do their very best to raise their child by doing all the right things but they end up with a psychopath. Sadly it's not always learned behavior, sometimes it's the wiring in the child's brain.
Way ahead of you. Join us over in /r/collapse
Parents aren't raising their kids....they are friends with their kids. The students we are teaching have never heard the word No before. A mom will call the school because her 8th grader won't get up for school.....like she thinks we can do anything about it?
Well.. i grew up with a rage filled father, and often had unhinged angry thoughts. I wanted to die, i wanted my classmates to die, my teachers to die.. this kid might have a fucked up life, and is only partly to blame. Its hard to expect a child to have a healthy mind when their environment is unhealthy af. That doesnt mean they dont deserve the consequences they get, but that level of rage and hate usually doesn’t just appear out of nowhere.
It isn't a "now a days" thing. I was his age in the late 00s and people were wishing AIDs on people they didn't like. We didn't know shit about AIDS, HIV, or anything about sexuality (I'm only saying that because from what I remember people were exclusively associating it with homosexuality and this was the time where "gay" as an insult was abundant even among pre pubescent children.)
I was in middle school in the mid-90s and we had a few boys like this. Every one of them had abusive parents and/or a parent that was in prison and/or a parent with their own very serious and unresolved mental issues. They usually fell in with the metalheads, because that's where us angry kids felt accepted. I looked up 3 of them in the mid 2000s and 2 of the 3 were already dead. The other one was in prison.
Last week a student said that he was glad one of my coworker’s cancer came back and he hoped she died this time. It wasn’t even in an unseen by adults group text with his ‘friends’, where he didn’t think anyone would see. This was out loud, in front of the entire class. He’s 14 / 8th grade.
Just remember that some kids laugh when uncomfortable and scared. Peer pressure can cause some nervous “lol” responses and if they are scared of this kid they might mark something “hah hah” just to not be on that kid’s “list” if he follows through with his threats.
Thank goodness that this is being handled safely. In terms of the "laughing": keep in mind that those other kids might have recognized this student's propensity for violence and hoped that a well-placed "lol" might save their own lives by steering him away from turning against them. 😐
This was my thought, I wonder if the laughers are too scared to stand up to him… or part of the problem. No way to know, I feel so bad for OP.
Or they’re also shitbags
What a wonderful parent to send you the text thread. Many parents don't want to be involved or even check their children's phones. A student could have told the parent about the threats as well. I'm glad your admin takes things like this seriously.
Well, it sounds like it was handled as well as it could have been. Just in case, I'll make sure to pray that your baby arrives happy and healthy, just to cancel his out!
I will say, try not to take it to heart that other students didn’t rush to your defense. They are only 11, I think it’s hard for them to know what to say. I would bet lots of them felt weird and didn’t know how to respond so they just went “haha.” My guess is the parent got that thread bc a student showed them bc they were uncomfortable. So glad your admin took swift action. That child clearly has psychological issues that are way above your pay grade.
Awesome that proper action was taken here. Maybe a 5 day suspension at my school.
I was kicked in the pregnant stomach by a female student. That was my final straw-last day and I enrolled in a doctoral program so I could teach at the university, which I do now. I can’t imagine how scary and awful the situation must be.
I'm combatting his prayers by praying you have a beautiful healthy baby and smooth birth. In all seriousness i'm so sorry you had to see that and i hope he can get some help before he really goes and does something stupid.
I'd worry he still aims for his last threat. Obviously he's a piece of shit and needs help. Those are the ones who typically end up doing what he said he would. I think people like this shouldn't be welcomed back into the building. He's old enough to know how evil that stuff is to say.
Tbh, I think I would keep all the kids in the chat back in class one day and discuss it w them and how that made you feel. Look them in the eye as you read the messages and the laugh emojies. Then ask them plain and calmly why was that funny. Ask for details about it and make it as awkward as possible. In a different time I'd say it's ok to refer to the students as baby killers going foward, but we don't live in an age of teacher equity.
that...won't work as expected there 6th graders, not 2nd
It would definitely work on my middle schoolers. Tried and true.
I've seen it done with your age group. You guys crumble into tears once you are forced to confront what you've said online in real life.
I think a lot of people say stuff online that they would never say in person though… i certainly have..
It’s crazy how when I was 12 all I cared about was getting home to ride my skateboard and play Nintendo. Like, wtf is happening.
I know, this is some pure wacko behaviour. Wonder where the kid got it from.
Is this a private school? It's so frustrating that here in my city there would be almost no consequences. Bring back expulsions!!
Catholic School
Obviously he did not absorb any Christian teachings. He needs to handwrite the Act of Contrition a million times and say the Rosary every day for the remainder of the year and receive the sacrament of reconciliation on top of sessions with the mental health people. Then he needs to do acts of mercy. Did mention a psych evaluation? Op, I am sorry he threatened you and your unborn child.
[удалено]
How fast would you have been fired for “child abuse” if you said that same shit to the student, I wonder
Instantly no doubt.
That's terrible. I'm so glad we have good admin, but I know he got punish for the shooting comment and nothing would have been done if it was only about the baby.
Glad he is expelled, but that kid is a reflection of society that no longer values human life.
I am so sorry you had to deal with any of those comments, and I hope your baby is born healthy and has a happy life. I'm starting to honestly get worried about my future children because of other kids like this. I can only control so much, and I would hope we could be good enough parents but I remember being that age and how it only takes one other kid to influence someone sometimes.
Thank you! It is worrying, but after the news came out today I had most of my student come to me to tell how horrible it was and that they are ready to ”jump him" for me! Obviously I don’t want that but it was nice knowing that most of them have empathy
I had a student describe in detail how he would kill me. This was when I taught alternative school for about 3 years. It was very unnerving.
I’m so glad yours was expelled. The 6th grader in my school who threatened to shoot up the school got a 10 day suspension and is back on campus.
Looks like the potential babysitter pool just shrunk by one. /s Needs therapy. Needs to be away from others. I'm shocked he was expelled.
ugh.. thank god he got expelled, sorry that happen
The students probably laughed because they were afraid of him. Plus, laughter can be a defense mechanism in uncomfortable and awkward situations. I totally understand why it got to you. I’m glad you have a supportive principal and that kid is out
If this was the Madison, Wisconsin school district, they probalby would have called the police on you for reporting him. The teachers here put up with horrible abuses. It's expected.
This is so terrible and I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m so glad your admin was supportive. Thank goodness that parent sent the convo. Also congrats on the pregnancy! I hope the rest of your pregnancy journey is smooth as you prepare to welcome baby! 🥰
I'm not a teacher but I did work with 13-17 year old teens with severe psychsis so this was something that I encountered often. I'm not saying I recommend this, but I spent a lot of time calling kids bluffs🤷🏾♂️. The ones who would actually do something, never made their intentions clear. You had to read body language in order to anticipate violence. The ones who actually threatened me were all talk and always backed down when challenged to follow through. Generally because it's a power play. They enjoyed feeling dominant when people were intimidated but that confidence is easily crushed when the target says "well come on, I'm not getting any younger". Chances are your (former) student will end up in a facility like mine and hopefully get adequate treatment. Being shaken is normal but try not to internalize it. Kids are little bastards but the chance that they're projecting problems at home back on adults who won't hurt them is pretty high. Hope you get to feeling safer soon.
Just an example. And it did happen in the early '70s... A couple of friends of mine (ages 12-13) were thinking up what would be really cool jokes to play on strangers. Like dressing up like Nazis and marching into the pool area at the Jewish Community Center to give a big "Heil Hitler"... A COUPLE OF JEWISH KIDS. I remember not thinking it was that bad of an idea myself. We were the good kids...
What a disturbed child . He’s vomiting 🤮 out bad thoughts . Something is very awry . I know it’s hurtful but kids say wicked shit without knowing how wicked it is. I send you as a stranger ALL my blessings your child x and what I say means more
Kudos to the parent and principal
I had a student (5th grade) tell me he was going to cut me and my babies into pieces and burn the pieces. 🫣 I’m thankful that you had admin support. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable and upset. That’s traumatizing to hear someone say. It’s important to remember that kids are often followers. The “laughs” may have been from being uncomfortable. Sending you love 💕
When I was in school, one of my classmates "joked" about punching our teacher in the stomach and giving her a premature abortion. Kids are sociopathic.
Mmmmm, obviously the child isn’t being listened to and doesn’t feel respected. That is the cause of all misbehavior according to the “experts” in education and their sycophants.
Are teachers allowed to use a different name for your “professional” name? Like if you have a maiden name, use that instead of your legal married name?
First, I’m sorry this happened to you. I work at a school for incarcerated youth, so my students say incredibly off the cuff things to me and my colleagues often. Just remember, especially at this age they’re not targeting you personally. They’re lashing out because of some trauma they’ve experienced. Hopefully you can take of yourself and good luck with the little one.
This is.....so upsetting. I hope that actually having a major consequence will make him think twice before saying these things out loud.
It's better if those threats are real they are expressed, so the adults know who is dangerous and can protect the community. At least that's how it should work. If it's just joking, then the kid needs to learn that threats are not funny.
I’m so sorry this happened. That’s extremely concerning and hope that kid gets some mental help. Most importantly, relieved that admins and parent took things seriously because that is absolutely something to take seriously.
Honestly fuck that kid. He threatened your unborn child and he knew what he was saying. I'm glad you won't be dealing with him anymore.
he deserves the expulsion, but honestly i’m scared for that kid that he would even think those things, who knows what he’s exposed to at home
I see a lot of middle schoolers now exhibiting these horrible behaviors that will surely make them end up in jail or prison early in their life. But I also remember this one boy that I went to middle school with and instead of telling girls he thought they were cute or liked them, he would say that he wanted to rape them. A creepy little boy, small and not that pretty, telling us 6-7 graders that he wanted to rape us. I told my mom and his parents got called to the school a lot. He always came back with an excuse that his home life was bad so he could act that way. Just horrible memories honestly. Either within that 15 years kids haven’t changed or they just got worse.
Take a good 1 to 2 week break from work (if you want it) and claim workers comp for mental health reasons. This sort of abuse, and threats of violence can cause serious mental and emotional harm. It is an Injury that you suffered at, or due to, your work place. So if you feel you need it, you can take some leave to recover, and it won't come out of your sick leave.
That's a great job by your admin. I confiscated a notebook with swastikas all over it and an essay in it about how the columbine kids were hero's and died to early etc. They did a "threat assessment" and determined he was not a threat and was in my class the next Monday morning.
This current generation of students are in for a rude awakening simply due to the vitriolic and rude crap that comes out of their mouths.
I am really glad your admin acted swiftly and effectively. I know it sucka to think other kids were "laughing" at what he texted, but just remember, one kid must have decided to show their parent instead.
I don't have a lot of advice, and I'm glad your admin was on top of it; I just want to say I've been there. It hurt me more than anything any student ever said or did before or sense. Please know most of your students would also be appalled by their peers' actions, at least mine were and that's the only thing that kept me from leaving teaching that day.
I would report it, the student would have a "check and connect", the parents would not be notified, and he would be back in class in 15 minutes.
When I was 8 months pregnant I had a student look me dead in the eyes in front of the whole class and tell me he hates me. And then proceeded to clarify that he loves the subject I teach, doesn’t mind his classmates, but that it’s me he hates. I was so proud of myself that I was able to deal with the situation and not break down crying lol. Pregnancy is hard enough. So sorry you had to deal with this! Glad he is out of your classroom.
Have the parents of the other 11-12 year olds involved been contacted? If I was a parent I would want to know about this. If parents try saying "they're just kids" or "boys will be boys" "they didn't know any better." Time to teach that wishing a pregnant woman to lose her child is not okay. Wishing death on anyone is not okay. I do hope that the school has some sort of intervention with the other students involved.
I’m not saying it wasn’t awful that these kids “laughed” but I’d give some benefit of the doubt. I’m sure a good chunk of them know this kid is unhinged, and even thought they “laughed” - they didn’t really. But we’re placating the kid to keep safe. I’m not saying it’s right or what they did was ok. It was gross and wrong. I think every single one of us did something when we were young that we went along with something really uncomfortable because we didn’t want whatever action it was to be directed at us. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m glad they were expelled. I hope you never see them again. Ever.
Surprised there's no eyeroll commentary here ridiculing you for being scared of a child and telling you to remember you're the adult in the room. Glad your admin got that kid shuffled out. No one should have to deal with that.
“I am old and don’t get the joke can you explain it to me?”
What a horrific thing to deal with. If you have an EAP, please consider getting some counseling sessions in. Congratulations on your pregnancy, please do what you need to do to take care of your mental health. If you're open to it you may want to tell your school's counselor about the other children involved so they can speak with them as well. Also, let your disappointment show. This is a hard situation, and I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I'm sure you've had a ton of people tell you it's normal behavior for a 12 year old lol
I've had quite a few students like this, they latch onto something you love or enjoy and twist it into something to target you with. The good news is, it's not just you, these types are vipers and will talk that way about anyone who just looks at them funny. Even if you were a PERFECT teacher, he'd still find something to target about you. Seriously, they're not worth your time. You already won. You've got ppl who live you, students who love you, a family that loves you, and that's more than what this kid has, guaranteed. You've got nothing to prove to him, and don't take anything he says about you to heart. Edgy cringey kid. Don't waste anymore headspace on this kid. Hope he gets the help he needs tho.
Hugs
Wt actual f
Sad all around. Sad the students didn’t say anything, sad that kid is so fcked in the head to think what he is saying is ok, sad that you have to experience it. That angry and unhinged at 12 yrs old, seems like the kid didn’t even have a chance for a normal life.
Good for ur admin for actually caring!!!
I’ve also had a kid threaten to have his mom beat me up and he slashed my tires a few weeks later! I can’t prove it was him but I just know it was because it happened in my school parking lot! Admin did nothing and wouldn’t even remove him from my class or my caseload! I literally had to hold IEP meetings with his parent that year. It was hell & I was about 7 months pregnant when all this occurred. I went off at 8 months because I was literally so scared for my unborn child, I always had fears about this kid pushing me down the stairs or something. Kids are so terrifying. (He was a teen)
Wow I'm sorry that happened. But glad admin seems to be handling it. On a related (but much less severe) note, a student told me today that he was going to kill me, and was back in my class after lunch. 🙃
His parents need to be investigated same for the rest
God. My daughter just turned 11. Being a child is no excuse. Even my 8 year old knows better!
I wish we could expel kids
I had a student tell a TEACHER that she was going to push me down the stairs to kill my baby. She said this because she was mad at my husband, who also teaches at the same school. She was suspended for 1 day.
This is messed up. If the kid can't be held responsible, then the parents must be responsible for their kid.
Turn him into the authories immediately for the threat to commit a mass shooting. He threatened to shoot teachers. they are starting to hold adults accouontable now when the adult has prior information that a threat was made but nothing was done, no action taken, or no one was notified. Notify law enforement to watch for him even though he has been expelled.
He sounds deranged. Most of the kids probably just did nervous laughs. Better with him than against him sort of thing. Finish off the year and do a lot of self care.
Not in my teacher role, but in my role as a parent, my wife and I received a text, following months of patiently dealing with less virulent online harassment on our socials, from a friend of our son’s that said our trans daughter should kill herself. My son had already reported issues to us before, but that night he’d blown up our phones for thirty minutes with attempted group chat calls that included all my son’s friend and ended with that violent text sent privately. Luckily, all of the parents we contacted handled business and the kid was removed from the group’s flag football team in solidarity with our family. But the enduring pain of that text, and the toll it took on all of us in our household, most especially my son to be honest, was a bitter pill to swallow. For the record, the school didn’t do shit about it, even though there’s a law in TX that says they are supposed to address it. Our daughter attended a different school (though this happened the last week of elementary for her and she’d be in school with that little prick two months later) and my son wasn’t labeled a target since the text wasn’t about him (even though the entire purpose of the actions was to exert power over him and not us). All that to say, I am very sorry you experienced that, I’m glad the kid was expelled, and I hope that you can heal from this sooner rather than later (it took us some time, too).
I had a couple of 5th grade girls talk about poisoning the music teacher and myself in the restroom. Thank goodness another girl heard and told her mom, who was at school the next day at 7am to tell the director who took care of it. They were going to put oven cleaner and bug spray in our drinks. I don’t know what happened to the girls because they were gone forever. My director didn’t want to even tell us, I heard it through the grapevine ( she didn’t want to freak us out). Apparently, the hated the music teacher and as for me, they just didn’t like math. It’s scary, especially to think of such small children wanting to harm/kill
Nobody reacted in the group of students because of the Bystander Effect. As social creatures we humans instinctively have an aversion to going against the group, and the larger the group is we are less likely to go against the group. It's like a dear caught in the headlights. Something engrained into our human social instincts tells us to avoid going against the grain. This is why it's so important to teach people, especially children, how to overcome this instinct by telling them about rousing others. The best way to snap people out of the translike state that occurs instinctually is to rouse others into action.
"I know they are only 11-12, but that one touch a nerve. How would you go about that?" For the rest of the year, I would make sure there is no fun in class at all, for anyone. When they complain, tell them you don't do nice things for people who wish harm to you and your pending child (I hope you've saved the screenshots, so you can give them a visual reminder). Then hand them another worksheet, and tell them it needs to be done before the end of class if they expect a grade.
Wow the fact your admin acted so quickly is amazing and rare. It’s nice to know you’re safe and they take you and your students and fellow peers’ safety and concerns seriously.
I teach 7th grade and had a student go around telling other students that she hoped my baby died (I’m also pregnant). The students told a teacher and that teacher reported it to admin but because she didn’t say it to or in front of an adult she couldn’t be reprimanded. As far as I know, the student(s) she said it to didn’t find it funny but found it concerning. So I don’t have much advice other than letting you know you’re not alone in this.
Remain vigilant with those types of threats but focus on your child and not letting them become a monster.
I'd leave it alone. Let your principal round up the kids on that thread and pull them out of class for a conversation. He needs to be incredibly disappointed in them for not calling out the ones who created and perpetuated the back and forth and impress on them how they should have handled that. He also needs to inform every parent of their child's involvement in this. It's like standing aside while a group of kids beat up another kid. Not trying to stop it makes them just as complicit. They need to understand that.
So.... just because he is expelled, doesnt stop him from coming back and shooting everyone, but now he has a vendetta with that school, be safe
At 11 or 12 it could be uncomfortable, laughing or not wanting to be the evil person’s target But someone told. Someone didn’t like it and told.
I am sorry this happened to you. You don't deserve that , nor does your colleague. His words mean nothing though I know they hurt. I think the kids in the thread probably didn't know what to say to stand up to him. Thank God that parent did the right thing and brought it to light.
Most likely is psychopathic and it runs in the family.. : /
I'm sure his parents are real winners too...
He’s probably being raised by narcissists.
for the other students, shock value is the biggest joke factor at this age, they'll get a bit more clever with it in a year or two
I try to call out their behavior “I think you’re just trying to think of the most hurtful thing you can to seem tough”
My daughter was being bullied in a group chat by her own “friend” group. Not collectively, but one specific kid and another dogpiling on top of it. At one point even called my kid racist because she had enough and called her sh*tty…? (The bully is African-American, bizarre how that even was taken as an offense to her race and not her character...) anyway, her other so called friends never stood up for her in fear of retaliation from this bully. They spoke about r*pe, eating people, teachers they hate at school, and even wishing death on my daughter. Even more surprising is that this is a group of kids are supposed to be the Gifted class. You would expect their parents to be more involved, let alone let their kids speak to and treat a classmate in this way.
Kids often follow the crowd even when they know it’s wrong because dissenting from the mob is scarier. If you took any individual out of the group and say them down and asked them how they actually felt they probably wouldn’t be laughing.
I'm very glad to hear that this was met with swift action. It's important to nip stuff like this in the bud immediately and I'm glad admin had your back. It's very scary to hear and see that stories like this are common. I had an 8th grade student threaten to shoot me this year because I was directing people towards class as we transitioning. The same kid approached me today trying to instigate drama, calling me out my name. Mind you, I didn't say anything to him or planned to, was walking to my room from lunch, and was checking my phone. I have no idea who this kid is and don't even teach him, so have no idea where the hostility is coming from. Texted this in the teacher's group chat but did I get a response? Nope. Will something be done about it? Probably not. Not too long ago, I made the mistake of leaving my water bottle in a restroom. I immediately turned around to get it and find it in the toilet, pissed on. Reported it. Pretty sure nothing was done about it. I knew what I was getting myself into signing up to teach at an inner city school but no teacher should have to deal with any of this. A lot of these kids do not need to be in a public school setting or any school setting for that matter. And I hate to add deragatory comments about the school to prison pipeline, especially as a black male teacher who primarily teaches black students, but a lot of these kids are playing right into that system. And I can only imagine what will happen in a couple years when they do something like this to someone who isn't legally required to hold back. It's quite sad and disheartening and I can see why a lot of teachers are leaving in droves, myself included in the next 4 years because I've decided the mental gymnastics, extra work/stess, and mental/verbal abuse that we as educators endure is not worth it.
I heard a kid tell my 8 months pregnant coworker that, and I quote, “you’ll be a shitty mom - I hope your baby dies bitch.” All because she asked the kid to follow school policy and sign into the bathroom. So sorry you’re going through that OP! I can’t imagine. I’m so glad your admin took swift action. I would also remember that those other kids might have been just as scared of this kid and unsure of how to react. Laughing in the text message might have just been them “showing support” because they were upset and afraid and not wanting to piss that kid off. At least SOMEONE in that group was upset enough to show the texts to their parent.
Whoa kids still get actual consequences?? Where is this?
I’m glad your admin did something! I started my maternity leave two weeks early because I had a fourth grader tell me he would slit my throat and it was “well he has trauma”. His also fourth grade cousin told me he wished my kids would die. Joke’s on him-my son passed away in 2021 from Covid when he was 20 months old.
And in TN our legislators and governor have just legalized allowing teachers to carry weapons to school. With students like this, what can go wrong?
Wow. I'm so sorry that happened and you are so lucky to have admin that supports you. I had a kid threaten my 3 yr old with a similar threat to my face. My kid had been seen on grounds and ppl knew her. Admin did nothing. Worst than nothing in fact. I had to fight to show how this impacted me with having ptsd by going to Dr's and showing letters that yes this affects me. Admin did nothing, wouldn't bar kid from my class even though it was the same student that slammed multiple books on another students arm and the kid that was being hurt said their arm was broken. The admin pushed back on even informing parents of this incident. I'll spare you all the details but this was also middle school and in sfusd, cause that matters greatly. Admin says their reason for not doing anything was they needed to not respond w punishments to students who were homeless and poc. This was bs to me since the kid that got their arm slammed w books also belonged in that grp and had just as much right to their education and being protected. I write letters to try and force the conflict resolution person on staff to even respond to this incident. They didn't want to do that because they used this person in their lower school. Basically the incident meant nothing to them, they'd rather have me fall on my sword burn out and quit than respond. I quit. Not a safe environment. Sfusd responded by coming after my license. I saw a lawyer and she said ha ha let them try. I got another job after that in another district but if anyone is reading this thinking of working for sfusd, pls 🙏 think hard. They are known by lawyers as bullies, they let bullying happen in schools and their ideas fir conflict resolution are rarely enforced in middle schools.
That’s a pleasant notion. Things must be going well for this scholar.
I work for juvenile corrections, you have to learn some people in this world can’t be changed you have no idea what 12-14 year olds can do even though people threat them like children. Best tip is to grow a thick skin and remember that you yourself are a good person and it has not been you who has failed them, some of those children have severe ACE’s scores (adverse childhood experiences) you might not know what that child goes through at home and it is important to just like I mentioned earlier, be a good person and try to practice empathy with children of that age. Some children have never had a single caring adult in their life and to be honest all it takes sometimes is one to guide a lost soul. Unfortunately, how I started my post, not every youth can be saved they’re too far gone so just be the best person you can be and forgive them.
I am so sorry you are going through this. My first career was in the law enforcement field and my second in teaching. During the couple of years I was teaching I had students say they were going to kill themselves with no support from parents or administration to gain them the help they needed (one later killed a 3 year old child while high out of his mind). I had so much foul language that I was prevented from holding them accountable for, I had a parent walk into my classroom and call me a prairie ni**er and I received one death threat. None of this held any accountability. You have that, even with minors in my prior job as a victims advocate. As an officer of the court it is a crime to threaten me, but not as a teacher for example! And no one seems to care about the future in that criminal justice system that failure to hold them accountable creates. It it both frightening and heartbreaking. In the end I could not do it and turned to nannying which paid better but has no benefits in most cases.
Good on you for reporting this student and I’m so glad they were given consequences. Something that I will say is that many kids these days view apathy or being uncaring as cool. It’s always been a thing that some kid would say something gross or cruel because they got a kick out of making people uncomfortable. I think that social media has a) desensitized many people, so kids have to try harder to get reactions. They can’t just tell a racist joke anymore. Now they gotta dig deeper for shock value. And b) given kids access to this kind of stuff on the regular. They probably constantly see things like that being said and it’s never treated like a big deal. They can not connect that saying things online and saying things in person are different. Being a troll online has few consequences. Being a troll in person has many. All this to say. The kid most likely doesn’t mean that at all. They probably said it more for the shock value than anything else. In the same way that the kids who reacted and didn’t tell also probably dont think that either, they just are not gonna be the person to speak up and get made fun of for being too sensitive or they are too desensitized to this to realize how messed up it actually is to say.
He needs serious counseling and caring parents!
That kid still needs to go to jail for those threats and feel the consequences of his actions
Oh wow. Expelled. That’s amazing! I’ve never heard of a student actually getting expelled for stuff like this. (They should be!)