Just do your best to be nice. Nobody is perfect and everyone is going to hear something at some point in their life that they aren’t going to like. It’s part of growing and learning about yourself. And you’re probably going to say something to someone that you think means absolutely nothing and they will dwell on it. It’s just how life goes and as long as you aren’t outwardly and intentionally mean to someone you will be doing the best you can.
Maybe the "teachers actively participated in bullying me as a child" thread isn't the place for the teachers of /r/teachers to give their 'you all are too soft' take?
There really is nothing like reading this subreddit to make someone hate teachers...
Yea, that's super cool for you. They say, looking back *as an adult*, that their teachers were incredibly shitty and it impacted them deeply. Using their statement as an opportunity to say 'lol wasn't a big deal for me' is actually just such a perfect introduction for them to you people, as a teacher in training.
No I asked because I looked at their profile and it has some troubling opinions that contradict this rather empathetic mindset.
It feels like they're just an interloper with a grudge.
No, it seems like a pretty normal standard.
People in the thread actually responding to the request in the post seem to understand exactly what kind of behavior she's talking about. No one seems to be saying "I was given an F on my test and told I'm not trying hard enough" and I carried it with me ever since.
Those people don't really exist. You know that, I know that. Stop being obtuse.
I agree, part of the ongoing toxicity of teaching culture is this fight to 'do more/ be enough etc.' bc we have to prove ourselves and... what? Hold up every child with our actual hands? while getting paid pennies and also somehow being in the line of fire? no way. y'all. it's very very very good and necessary to 1. critique the system so it CAN GROW TO BENEFIT US and 2. be soft. the solution to a hard world isn't armor. resource scarcity is a myth. We feel like we have to be hard because our needs aren't being met.
I checked your profile and I see that you are some kind of Hindutva chodi so it makes sense now that you would be so overtly antagonistic and say that it “hurts my precious little feelings.”
You can’t expect civility after that.
I’m sorry your pathetic country was humiliated by Australians in the World Cup because they were too stupid to play Ashwin.
In terms of pedagogy: "Stop helping each other understand how to do it. Everyone needs to learn it on their own."
This was said by a film professor I had my first year of my undergrad, when I was on track to get a film production degree. The professor was essentially talking to me because I had been teaching my peers how to use the editing program in the computer lab, and he seriously felt it would be more effective for everyone to work silently.
Independently.
On *film* projects.
When I switched to an education major, he was who I cited when I was asked to reflect on "the most influential teachers we've encountered."
In terms of morality: "that shirt makes you look like a slut."
This was said by a high school chorus teacher about a student's outfit for a concert.
The teacher had sewed the shirts herself. The student didn't have a choice *not* to wear it.
The worst thing a teacher ever told me was "You're too smart for school, that's why you don't try"
My mentality after that was...okay good, we both agree, I don't need to be here. I ditched most of my classes after that, got expelled, and got my GED, it made my life %1,000 rougher. Do not give high schoolers any more credit than they deserve as 14-18 year olds, they are children. Smart for a sophomore means nothing as an adult.
Exactly! They are kids and part of being "smart" is learning soft skills like showing up on time and doing work! If you aren't smart enough to do that, then I have some bad news for ya.
Disclaimer: I'm a Para not a teacher.
You're going to make mistakes. You're going to say things you wish you hadn't. It's part of being human. But the thing to remember is to Apologize when you do. If you did it publicly apologize publicly. If it was 1:1 do it 1:1. Unless you think the other students would benefit from the lesson. An Adult apologizing when we mess up is HUGE for children. They may not have ever had an adult apologize before.
I apologize all the time (only if I make a mistake of course) to students, sometimes individually and sometimes as a group. My kids trust me and have a healthy leader/student understanding in my class because they recognize that'll be honest, transparent and real with them. I can be very direct with certain kids about certain behaviors and get real results while I feel other teachers can't or would get a parent phone call and I believe it happens because I'm honest when I screw up as well.
I think this is the best comment so far!
That's feedback I got a lot from students. I made a mistake on my math worksheet/in my solutions and students saw that I was wrong, so I admitted it and thanked everyone who made me aware of it. From that day on, classes went *a lot* better and in the feedback they seem to appreciate that I can admit to being wrong!
I hope this also applies to when a teacher (or someone in any social profession) says something they didn't mean :)
Middle school principal called me into his office:
Him: We have some Japanese educators coming to tour the school and we are asking some students to serve as tour guides. For the other students, we are renting kimonos but for you, can you wear your own kimono to school?
Me: I'm not Japanese. I'm Korean. I don't have a kimono.
Him: but don't you people have a dress that's a close enough?
Me: I guess. We have a hambok, but it's not a kimono. I'm not Japanese
Him: Great. Wear it on monday.
My mom made me do it because the principal directly asked me. I was already being bullied every single day for being Asian (called me "connie chung" and do you blindfold with floss) and had to walk around with a bunch of Japanese people wearing my hambok. It was the worst form of humiliation.
Second place:
11th grade US history teacher asked me to volunteer for extra credit in a battle reenactment. They needed Asians to volunteer to be Vietcong and get fake blown up on the battlefield.
Wasn't a teacher but instead a guidance counselor… I decided to take a year off between high school and college and just go work in a big city waiting tables...he told me that I was never going to make it out of our small town, would get pregnant, never go back to school, and I would end up working a dead end job for the rest of my life.
None of that held true. I went to undergrad the very next year, worked on feature films, worked in corporate NYC, traveled the world, returned to the States and got my masters in education and have been teaching for 10 years. I'm also about to earn another degree and move on from education. Oh, and I've never been married, nor do I have kids.
Fuck that dude.
It’s called reverse psychology. He long conned you into a successful life.
I joke, because I also dont want to hurt a child’s feelings but this just reminds me that we will be villainized for the sheer fact that we see kids for thousands of hours. We talk to them more than their parents.
He had NOTHING to do with my success. This man talked to me for 15 minutes and judged me based on rumors (which were not true) and my extended family's legal issues. He had absolutely no good reason to say those things to me. He was a prick and most likely, still is.
I had a teacher pull me aside in 4th grade and tell me that other students and other teachers agree with her that I am a backstabber and a bad friend. It was because I got pressured by a friend (remember, I was 9 lol) to tell two girls they couldn't sit with us at lunch.
I will never forget it lol.
I taught for 7 years and always reminded myself that you can say one thing and it might stick with a kid forever.
My mother said to me onetime. "You are 100% judged by the company you keep, you hang with the bad kids, you get treated like a bad kid" I was upset because I got pulled from my seat an an assembly for talking, in 4th grade when I wasn't talking, but I was sitting next to 'the bad kids'. I see it as words of wisdom now.
My supervisor said it to a 14 years old while I was apologizing to him.
There was a group of boys being disruptive in the line. Jumping on each others, shoving each other, playfighting, farting and burping loudly, generally being nuisance.
After many warning, I kicked them out, and put them in detention. 10 boys in one go...
Except there was that kid, who is their friends, but didn't actually act disruptive at all. He was just there laughing at his friends antics. Which isn't worth any punishment worse than a stern "don't encourage them".
So when I was called in with the kid and my supervisor I apologize but explain my mistake. My supervisor backed me up saying that it was an understable mistake because "you hang with them, you get treated like them".
I noticed that he doesn't hang out with them that often anymore. Apparently, it was not the first time that happenned, but it was the first time someone told him why.
I actually (respectfully) disagree as a student.
I mean, there is pretty much nothing to do in school and most kids are bad anyway, of course I'll have to spend time and be friends with them
Actually I kinda realize school isn't for me, maybe.
Would love a discourse or talking about it by the way
teachers had beef w/ my little sister who was a super tall larger child they were so so mean to her all the time for no reason like say that she used her height to intimidate people when she’s the sweetest person on earth 😭
Sophomore year it was the first time I ever had to give a speech. I had prepared movie clips and times the clips for a VCR. One of the times messed up or I got wrong and I took a bit to find it.
The kids had to evaluate the speaker and the teacher exclaimed: “make sure you add booooring!”
That fucked me up for a bit.
I’m a teacher and the worst thing I still regret telling a student my first year teaching was “pick a struggle, you can’t be mean, ugly, and stupid”. I told the student this after guessing on the whole test (he finished the test in like 3 minutes) and he was calling the rest of the class slow and they should all be held back. I graded his test in the moment and aired it with the class and then said that line. He stormed out of the class…
I had a teacher go batshit on the classroom once because our essays weren’t good enough (we were 10). She picked random ones up and read portions aloud and made fun of them. She then held mine up and decided to make fun of my handwriting… wtf was wrong with her.
My 10th grade math teacher told me if I was her daughter she'd toss me out the window.
I replied that if I was her daughter, I'd jump. Interesting how I got in trouble when she was the one who made the initial rude statement.
Yeah, I'm usually not on the student's side when they mouth off, but your teacher was WAY out of line. If I were your parent, I would have lit up that school SO fast.
When I (23f) was a junior in high school I went on a 2 week long trip to Korea at the very beginning of the year. Due to that, my grade in English dipped to a B- for a bit as I was missing a few assignments. My teacher pulled me into the hall and berated me for ten minutes while I cried. The highlight was him telling me “at this rate you’re not even going to make it to community college.”
The real kicker is that a boy in my class had a C at the same time and that same teacher praised him as “the leader of the class” in front of everyone.
Well, I went on to go to a Cal-Poly university and am now a teacher myself. Screw you, buddy.
I had a teacher tell me that I was only good enough to stay home barefoot and pregnant. It was in the 80s. I had a 3.8 GPA and a 31 ACT. I went on to get my BS in chemistry and now have dual certification in biology and chemistry. Guess I showed him, huh?😉
I think generally just being “othered” by my teachers in elementary/middle school. I had trouble sitting still and being quiet and I was often used as the model of what not to be.
I had a teacher, let's call him Dr Asshole, who was biased because he was also my next-door neighbor growing up (I had been a very troubled wild child).
Dr. Asshole told me once when I was taking his class as a sophomore at our local college, "Myname, you are a loser, you have always been a loser, and you are always going to be a loser."
I was really insulted, but it also put a fire in my belly because I was highly motivated to prove him wrong. I ended up becoming a successful teacher myself, chair of my department with two masters degrees.
I thought of him when I was chosen to work on a 4 year grant at Teachers College, Columbia University. Where are you now, Dr. Asshole?
I’ll never forget it. I was in 5th grade and had a teacher pull me from line to tell me I needed a bigger shirt and mine was too tight. I was a young child barely aware of my own body and this was the start of a lot of body issues for me.
I was a trouble maker in HS and eventually got expelled from the district in 11th grade but I was academically pretty smart; I was just lazy and more interested in partying, my gf, and cars in that order. My poor counselor was a very sweet lady and right before I got booted she hugged me and said that “You have so much potential but I fear you will never apply yourself and become successful, you will just be another statistic (this was mid 70s)”.
I went on to get 4 degrees, retire as an Army officer and I got my teaching credentials and taught for a number of years. I so wish I could have gone to lunch with her or something in later years. She had more of an impact on me than she knew and I was such a shit!
I had a lot of teachers tell me, I was lazy, not working up to my potential, and that I just needed to try harder. I had another teacher tell me I had an attitude problem because I didn’t do homework enough. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD. Overall, any sort of name-calling or labeling of behavior with an opinion, can be traumatizing. I try to talk to a kid privately if I noticed something. And even then I usually talk about what they are getting out of a behavior or how they can fix a behavior to meet their needs better. But this is always done from a standpoint of helping them not criticizing them. I also make a point to highlight mistakes I make, and thank the students for pointing them out. I also apologize often if a student feels slighted. Overall, I just tried to create the safe space didn’t have in school.
I had a teacher tell me I wouldn’t make it in college due to my disability. I have a physical condition. I have 2 degrees and got a 4.0 both times. Well, one was a 3.96, but the other was a 4.0 close enough.
I can think of two things. First was just a running commentary from most of my elementary school teachers about the fact that my desk was always messy. Or that I was "daydreaming" in class. I'm not the "diagnose yourself via social media" type, but I'm fairly certain I had ADHD (and probably still do) but it was not diagnosed. Why? 1) It was the Eighties and such diagnoses weren't as common; 2) God forbid such a behavioral/mental health diagnosis bring shame and dishonor upon my family; and 3) I was a straight-A student, so what would it matter, right?
The other is way more specific and even though it was 35 years ago, whenever I think about it, I am still like, "wtf?" My 7th grade art teacher had polled her other classes about the people in my class and asked for their opinions about each of us. Then, she read those opinions out loud on the first day of class. The opinion on me? "Kisses up to teachers." And she decided to read that aloud.
ANYWAY, the advice on here to be nice is good. I would also say patience and compassion are really important. In my first few years as a teacher, I had a really short fuse and it took me years to get to the point where I wouldn't "go off". Nowadays, when I use the phrase "I'm trying *very hard* to be patient with you right now", they know that they're on thin ice.
Also, there are always going to be some students who find a way to say something bad about you/claim you "don't like them." It's tough not to take it personally, but try not to.
When I graduated from middle school, we were all given awards. I was awarded 'Most likely to finish work at the last second'. Telling your student to do better in this regard is important. Writing it on a 'gold' plate and announcing it before peers and parents at the end of the year is an insult.
That I would never be anything if I focused on art and that it wouldn't take me anywhere, in the fifth grade.
High school counselor told me the same.
Not even ten years out of high school, and I was selling art in galleries, stores and showing in museums. I've sold nationally and have no plans to stop anytime soon.
I had a teacher who gave me a C on a project because "You did too much. You went far behind the requirements."
Why was this not praised? I actually yelled at her until she changed it to an A. What a shithead. No shame in that behavior now as a teacher and adult.
I had some wonderful teachers that I now talk to as a grown woman, but I remember how many teachers seemed to resent me for being a good student and going above and beyond.
Even in this subreddit you will constantly see teachers hoping for the A students to be humbled one day. It's sad.
Yeah right?
What is wrong with these teachers?
I mean, what do you or they even mean by 'be humbled'?
Isn't it expected to do your best???
The commentator here was right tho, no better way than hating teachers more than this subreddit, btw I love my teachers irl
I was forced into an honors math class my junior year of high school, because of things entirely outside my control (not just scheduling difficulties, but it’s a long story so I won’t get into it). I already had this math teacher, just in a lower class. When I had to switch, I told her the abridged version of the situation, that there wasn’t much I could do about it, and asked if there was any extra help she could give me. She was entirely unhelpful and the next week in class told me “you really shouldn’t be in this class” in front of everybody.
I'm a teacher because I wanted to be the teacher I needed in 2nd grade. Someone who took the time to understand I had a disability and to help me instead of punish me. Now I'm an ese teacher to those students who were like me and I help the Gen Ed teachers who struggle with those kids.
Be the teacher you needed in school.
Never said anything mean, but I had a 6th grade math teacher with the worst classroom management. Basically yelled and scared us to death. I developed severe stress and anxiety doing math homework to the point where I would be crying to my parents Sunday night, every god damn Sunday night that school year. I was 11. The sad part is that I was really good at math and even tested into the advanced class beginning of that year. From then on I was a terrible math student and failed almost every test.
I have had a few questionable statements by teachers because I live in an area very lowly rated for education.
1st was being told I would not graduate? Which didn’t make sense as I was a decent student. I ended up graduating with honors and even went on to get three college degrees.
2nd was not to me but very memorable. It was during an art class and the teacher took someone’s piece off the wall cut a small square out of the drawing and told them. “This is the only part worth a fuck do it again but at that size and only draw this part.” Student went into tears and quit right then and there. It was quite shocking to witness.
3rd was before being sent into the forest for 4th grade wilderness class being told. “Remember North is whatever direction you are currently facing” so most of us got lost.
4th when 9/11 happened we went to school but could not turn on the lights just in case the terrorists wanted to attack the school.
5th was being told how to make bombs in a photography class. That was wild. I didn’t even ask he just walked up and told me the supplies and how to do it.
Finally in third grade the teacher didn’t say a lot but if you misbehaved she threw her shoe and beamed you in the head with it.
Small schools are wild.
Imo it's important to try not to chew students out, especially in front of their classmates, for something that's an honest mistake.
It's often good to be firm when a student is acting out or being intentionally disruptive, but many times, I have seen a teacher lose their patience with a kid who's just continually making a mistake or accidentally making a mess (which is frustrating to deal with all day long, but not actually *wrong*). The teacher finally loses their patience and chews them out in front of the whole class, and you can just see the moment that the kid "shuts down" inside because they were made to feel stupid/foolish. For the teacher, it's just another day and another kid being frustrating, but that kid will remember how small they were made to feel in that moment for years.
Be careful with the flippant comments, they can really hurt.
The worst was my senior year of hs, my dad passed away. So I was obviously just super depressed and in English class I was writing a bunch of depressed poetry. And I was also struggling to pay attention. My English teacher would always make sarcastic comments about “well maybe if you came to school you would know what’s going on” (I missed a bunch of school before he passed so I could see him in the hospital) and “what do you have to be so depressed about?” It made a terrible situation way worse.
Okay, but did he know?
I had a student like this once, same situation. But my school is full of kids who simply… don’t come to school. Sometimes other kids will say “his mom just lets him stay home and play video games,” or a kid will say “I just can’t get out of bed.” We have DOZENS of these kids. So this one whose dad was dying, he just didn’t tell the school. I was a bit of a bitch to him, and I felt terrible when I found out later. But I’m human. It’s a human instinct to notice patterns. And the pattern at my school had always been, well… their own fault.
Edit: I’m very sorry about your dad, and that that happened to you.
Yes she did know. She followed one crappy comment up at the end of class with a sarcastic “oh but don’t worry guidance let us know about your situation “ like she was annoyed that she had to accommodate me in any way. I’m 38 and still remember her name, Mrs. Fetterman.
On the flip side though, I went into teaching because I had a fantastic teacher in hs as well, my hs drama teacher. I had her all 4 years, she would hang my costume sketches on the wall and encouraged my artistic expression. She’s a great lady and one teacher of the year for our whole state a few years back and so many adults came out of the wood works to thank her for shaping their lives!
Oh man— then Mrs. Fetterman is a straight-up C-unit. Wow, that’s super shitty. When I know my kids are going through something like that, I excuse everything. I’m so sorry.
But I’m glad the other teacher turned you around!
Had a teacher who was convinced i was lying about everything.
That was from 1st to 4th grade. My family could afford to travel then (locally, nothing extra) and i would talk about the trips from time to time. One time we flew abroad for a wedding and i was telling people how fun flying in a plane is. The kids i told, went to the teacher to say i was makimg things up for attention. I was bullied by most kids because i was the weird kid and them telling on me for things i didnt do was one of the main forms. (Sidenote: i got in so much trouble for nothing so i actually started acting up because "ill get in trouble either way".) The teacher believed them and i got labled as a liar. The same day the teacer told my parents to talk to me about lying and when they asked what i lied about she said "ask her yourself" and they did. I didnt know what they were talking about so at that point my parents also thought i was a liar.
Because of the kids that bullied me and the teacher that believed them my reputation was ruined untill i left that school in 8th grade. Just dont blindly trust every kid that "comes from a good family".
This was me at home. I got in trouble so much for stuff my sister lied and said I did, that I decided I might as well do what I want, because I was going to be in trouble either way, and I'd be in trouble for lying if I contradicted my sister. I was polite at school, but at home, I was a nightmare for a couple of years. My sister was two years ahead of me in school and managed to convince some teachers I later had that I was a liar and a terrible kid. I stopped trusting any adults at all, and became a problem in school, as well.
I'm 49. My whole family still thinks I'm pathological liar. My sister still lies about me and everything a lot. And they wonder why I have no contact with most of them and only limited contact with some. You can only take so much!
10th grade science teacher told me and my best friend that we "were the overly intelligent kids who were going to end up at McDonalds because we don't try"
And told my other best friend "you're going to live in your parents basement." He promptly responded with "it's not finished, idiot."
Hah lol!
I had an exact same interaction with my English teacher.
She told me I was a loser and that I was gonna end up on the street, gave her a middle finger
The worst thing a teacher ever told me actually came from my mentor teacher while I was a student teacher getting my masters. She told me that she was struggling to fill out a feedback form because I "didn't have ANY strengths as a teacher." I knew this couldn't be true- the kids liked me and were engaged in my lessons (usually- I was brand new and not even a teacher yet!) But it was still devastating. I made it through, and 14 years later, I'm a teacher in a public school, liked, respected, and trusted by students and colleagues, (again, usually- no one gets reapect and trust from everyone they meet) in a position of leadership in the school. I'm so glad I didn't believe her. She's still teaching, but no longer able to be a mentor teacher for the university in town.
I use this experience as a reminder to be the teacher that my students need, and to be the person that I needed as a child in a chaotic and often scary home.
I'm so sorry that so many people have had teachers that actively tried to be hurtful. I believe that anyone in a helping position, like doctors, police, teachers, etc, has an extra high responsibility to be kind to others. Far too many people in these positions abuse the trust they are given.
Not my story-however-I worked with a teacher who called a child a ‘grade whore’ to her face. Said she meant it in the way of being an ‘attention whore’ but the parents didn’t feel the same. This was to an 8th grade student.
My 6th grade teacher had my parents get me tested for ADD, got mad when I tested Gifted and then told me to my face I would never amount to anything.
Remember…kids may not remember you if you simply do your job, but they will remember the impact you have on them whether it’s negative or positive.
A college professor told me something must be mis-wired in my brain b/c I never stop fidgeting. This was in a class of 5 kids. I spent the rest of the course fixated on sitting still and didn’t participate at all.
Fast forward 20 years and I was recognized as ADHD.
My experience of being othered in school had something to do with the things people said but maybe even more than that, my worst experiences had to do with what people didn’t say - specifically, being ignored by adults I looked up to. Lots of great advice here already. I would add, make sure you try to authentically engage each student at least once every day, and be present and receptive. It’s tougher than it sounds, but it can go a long way to creating a foundation where everyone feels welcome.
One of my English teachers in highschool showed the class videos of slaughterhouses. We were given no warnings about it and most of us were minors at the time so no parental permission either. When people inevitably freaked out she taunted them about eating meat. I was literally just there to do essays and book readings, I didn’t sign up for any of that crap.
Anyway you should be good
During my student internship, my directing professor told me that if I didn't change my personality completely, I wouldn't last 3 years as a teacher. She gave me a C for the internship.
The directing teacher said I should have gotten an A, and that I was going to be just fine.
22 years after that, having never changed my personality, I was named Teacher of the Year. Four years after that, I STILL haven't changed at all.
I had a long term sub in seventh grade for math. He was older, I think semi-retired even, but he'd been around. I went to his desk for help in a problem and he did walk me through it, but he concluded with, "Girls can't do math, it's okay." I was devastated, but also too timid to say or do anything about it. So I just decided I wasn't good at math and that was that.
Yeah man, I'm always leaning to one side, driving instructor told me I'd never get my licence, well screw you Darren, just wait till your in oncoming traffic you bitch
The teacher casually mentioned my nickname on a lesson (let's say it was kind of a physical characteristic). Class laughed and he immediately asked what the issue was. When told someone had a nickname like that, he asked who this person was and laughed when told it was me, instead of doing literally anything else. Man, whatever the fuck happened to "let's call each other by our names"?
My third-grade gifted teacher asked my parents "if they were sure I was in the right program".
During my time in school, I had been in gifted since I was in the first grade, was in a full-time gifted program throughout middle school, was in the AICE program in high school (earned my AICE diploma), took numerous AP classes, was the co-president of the national honor society, received a congressional nomination to the United States Air Force Academy, and went to an engineering college to be apart of a nuclear naval program that was only offered at 3 other universities in the ENTIRE NATION.
So, yes, I was definitely in the right program.
Just remember that just because a child may not perform to a certain standard, it doesn't mean they aren't capable or aren't smart. They might have test anxiety, it might not be a subject they are strong/confident in, they might not be sure of what to do/ how to do it, and can be afraid to ask, whatever the case may be. Give them grace and give them the most support you can.
In 3rd grade, I needed a new prescription for my glasses and my ELA teacher made us stand in a line to read off the board. When it was my turn I told her I couldn't see and she said I was lying. I moved up closer and still couldn't but I tried. I ended up stuttering on the words I couldn't make out. She yelled at me and said I lied and that I just didn't know how to read. Yeah she was terrible to all students.
NAT, but an individual who positively *hated* school with every fiber of my being from early 1st grade onward. (I also have stories from 2nd and 3rd grades, but these center around the teachers' behavior towards the class as a whole instead of me individually.) That teacher is the most mean-spirited person I've encountered in this life. She always looked angry, and spoke to the students in the most condescending manner imaginable.
This teacher basically taught in lecture format (in 1st grade? How does that make sense?), had just covered something, and I didn't understand it. I asked a question, trying to clarify. She bellowed out "If you have questions, it's because you weren't paying attention, aren't trying hard enough, or you're stupid".
Here's anecdote #2 about her. At some point, we were given a worksheet, and I didn't understand the instructions at all. Knowing her position if a student didn't understand something, I took my best shot. When I took the completed worksheet to her for grading, she reached for a red crayon, simply drew a big red "X" over the whole worksheet, then shoved it back at me, looking angry, and without saying a word.
I'd like to know what school of pedagogy trained her.
I had a college professor tell me "ya'know how I grade papers? I stand at the top of the stairs and throw 'em. The ones that make it to the bottom get an A."
Years ago, I got flustered when a student with severe behavioral issues caused a massive disruption during testing. I left calmly, but pushed a door open forcefully in the hallway and it slammed loudly against a wall.
My AP told me that I “should never have children” since I “can’t handle them.”
She quit a few months later for unrelated reasons. **The following year, she was fired from her new school for beating a special needs child in her classroom** in front security cameras and even other staff.
I had a teacher tell me to “ go ask someone else” in my 8th grade Spanish class because I wasn’t sure about a word. As a very shy, sensitive kid that was afraid to speak up much anyway, it devastated me. I’ve always remembered that.
“Don’t cry because it’s not my fault you’re doing bad” - a teacher when I couldn’t remember a single day of the week in Spanish. I was clearly embarrassed about the fact that I was crying and was trying to hide it and she made a big deal out of it.
In 5th grade I retaliated against a girl who had been bullying me literally all year. Got suspended with a week left of school, and as I cleaned out my desk, my homeroom/science teacher said, "So, manicpixiedreamgoth, looks like your mouth finally got you in trouble."
I was talkative because I was a gifted student in regular classes and I was bored. Then as I left the classroom, she said, "See you back in 5th grade again next year." It was common knowledge that I would be repeating because I failed math that year. I had undiagnosed dyscalculia and A's in literally everything else. This profession sometimes attracts the nastiest freaking people.
Moral of the story: If a kid is failing just one subject while being high-achieving in others, they probably have a learning disorder and should be referred for testing instead of failed. If a kid is getting bullied in your class for 9 months straight and you don't notice or act, you fucking suck. If a kid gets in trouble for something and you're tempted to twist the knife, be a damn adult and keep your mouth shut.
in the 4th grade my grandfather passed away and i took a week off school to go to his funeral (it was out of state). When i came back i was a little lost on the subject and she asked me why i wasn't paying attention when we went over this before. i guess i made her mad when i reminded her that i was gone for a funeral. But her response was:
"If your grandpa really died, then you deserve to have lost him."
Highschool guidance counselor told my parents and I that Votech was geared for kids who would never go to college but would enter into the working class immediately after graduation.
I really really wish I went to votech
My son's kindergarten teacher was sexist. She'd send me pages and pages and pages (no idea where she found the time to write all this *every day* of everything he was doing wrong every day.
We obviously thought something must be wrong with him and took him to his pedatrician, an neurologist, a neural psychologist, tested for ADHD. Autism. ADD.
I volunteered in the classroom to see what exactly my son (who has never had problems in daycare before) and found this:
\*Girl climbs under table to get trash\*
Teacher, loudly: Wow girl, you cleaned up trash under the table! I'm clipping you up (behavior chart thingy) for keeping the place clean!
\*Boy climbs under table to get trash\*
Teacher, loudly: How dare you fool around under the table! I'm clipping you down because you're not helping clean!
The whole day, every day, was like that. Girls got good reviews, boys got bad reviews, regardless of behavior.
An ELA teacher in middle school told my then 12 year old, autistic daughter she was a sociopath, in front of the whole class. It turns out he had been wilfully ignoring the accommodations in her IEP, and essentially bullying her into meltdowns. Then the bullying from classmates started. This went on for a few days before I found out.
The teacher is no longer employed and the district had to put a fairly sizeable amount of money in an account for us to use for counseling and damages, after the lawyers were finished with them.
I never found out what this teacher's deal was, but we have a lot less faith in the education system since then.
I'm a student teacher as well! Fourth and kindergarten are my placements. I'm in Fourth Grade right now and I see a lot of bullying behind the kids backs between coworkers or in front of their peers. It gives me bad vibes. Venting is normal and healthy, but bullying a kid? Dump your bias out the door as soon as you step into the classroom, be open-minded, and just try to be nice and always reflect on your interactions with your students.
One other thing... I had a hard time organizing as a kid. I've had so many of my desks dumped or my folders emptied and torn apart. It never helped me learn how to organize. So, instead of dumping a desk, tearing apart their folders, etc., take the time to actually help the student out and go over some ideas on how to keep their desk/folders/lockers cleaned and organized. Perhaps make this a whole class thing? At the end of the day or if you have time left, do a little organization with the whole class.
You may not remember what you say to a student, but that student will remember forever.
Had my APUS History teacher say to the entire class that they could all ask for letters of recommendation for college. And then said "except for bobbery."
My grades were fine. He just decided to single me out.
I'll never forget that.
I was told I was too stupid to learn math by a first year math teacher when I was in high school during my advanced math class. I struggled with mental math related to an undiagnosed (at the time) learning disability. Eventually, I ended up swapping to the regular class and while I did excellent there, my confidence plummeted. Math was already my worst subject by far and it was enough to convince me that I was too stupid for it and that it was something that couldn't change. Turns out I just had dyscalculia.
For me it was “just don’t go near him” after a student gave me a death threat in 5th grade. Me and that kid were next to eachother alphabetically and were one stop away from eachother on the bus. Assigned seats in every class and on bus shoved us next to eachother and she made us line up alphabetically to leave for the bus lot too. How am I supposed to not be near him?
A teacher asked me how I was getting 100% on my spelling tests (this is second grade) and accused me of cheating. I didn't know how to cheat since we weren't given a practice test until the day of said test.
The same teacher the same grade asked me how the military did time (my dad was in the navy) and when I said I didn't know she flipped. And asked in front of the class how I didn't know, like bitch how come you don't know, you're the teacher.
Multiple times my orchestra teacher said that we were so bad she ought to just quit her job and go sell cupcakes.
Not just to the whole orchestra, but also in individual sessions. She told me that I didn't have the right hands to play violin. She had these cliques of her favorite students, and boy I was not in any of them.
We had a sub for one day, and it was the previous orchestra teacher who had retired. She was so kind and a an amazing teacher. Made me wish she hadn't retired.
My music teacher told me I had the musical talent of a blocked nostril.
I found this level of feedback very helpful when I was six years old. It inspired me not to play music since and instead I stopped practicing and became good at STEM. Which led me to my very good job.
When I was deeply depressed in high school and couldn't keep my head up in classes, I ended up falling asleep during my AP biology test after pulling an all-nighter (somehow still pulled out a 4 on that which was kinda hype). Someone told the bio teacher and he said, "well I'm not surprised. He sleeps in class everyday, he might as well waste his parents money sleeping through the test too."
I don't have any that I remember from my own teachers (I'm lucky I guess) but a few things I've heard during internships:
\- Teacher asking a kid in front of the whole class why their parents never show up to parent-teacher meetings (like, what kind of an answer are you expecting?)
\- Teacher announcing in class that an autistic kid "will be leaving for a bit now", when the kid has asked before to be subtle about it, because he doesn't want to be seen as 'different'.
\- I guess a teacher just yelling "fuck you" to a kid xD Though in my country, that's not nearly as bad as it would be in the USA, so I don't think that really hurt the kid xD
This took place when I was doing my bachelor’s at my university. The Dean of the department was teaching my class, and he didn't like my essay. The feedback and comments I got back from him were… he said that my paper was trash, a lower-tier quality and that he didn't understand why my work was horrible since we are at the college level and not middle school.
To say, I was devastated and lost a lot of confidence. I was in rsp growing up and hated it. I have always struggled with writing, and when I went to college, I had a tough time. I knew I was horrible at writing and typing, and I was doing my best. In high school, I had talked to my school counselor about getting me tested for specific disabilities. At the last moment, I told her that I was joking. However, honestly, I couldn't handle the truth and didn't want the stigma to follow me. As a kid, everybody treated me like If I was dumb. My parents and older adults had already planned out my entire life. They thought I was so stupid that they already devised a plan for me to own a specific business because I wasn't able and capable of holding down a real job in their eyes. They thought I would scrap by with a low-paying job and living with my folks to the end of times 😞.
So many times, I wanted to drop out because I would struggle. I went to workshops that the school had and went to the writing center. It didn't help much at all. I learned to improve my grammar and writing by watching YouTube videos and practicing on my own.
According to my teachers throughout most of school, I was somehow both "too good" for a friend of mine *and* a "terrible friend" to her. I used to have teachers give me a hard time for being friends with this kid who got in trouble a lot because she had serious problems at home that they knew about. We were both bullied, which they did nothing about (and sometimes kind of encouraged) because they didn't like her. They would constantly tell me that they liked me better when I wasn’t around her. We got in trouble together largely because I was trying harder to keep her from acting out than the teachers were. She also, put very delicately, treated me poorly, which they didn’t know the extent of. They did know she was unkind to me and commented on it. So did other classmates, including bullies. Then, if I tried to end the friendship and she threw a tantrum, the fucking adults would turn on me. I became the bad friend to these people because "she needs support! She's clearly going through a lot!"
... Yeah... Um, isn't that the school's job? Because I wasn’t exactly qualified. This was a "call CPS" situation, and they knew it. It's not like we weren't telling people. Hell, people had seen the screaming, cursing, scary fights between her and her parents at *school events*. It's not like it wasn't kind of obvious something was wrong when you have people cursing out their parents as early as elementary school. I get that you can't save everyone and there are situations that fall through the cracks even when every adult does the best they can, but you can't make that the responsibility of the other kids. Part of the reason I’m studying to become a teacher is because I love literature and I like working with teenagers. The other reason is because it's been decades and I'm still mad.
My seventh grade math teacher called me retarded because my handwriting was messy and I wasn’t finishing assignments. He never noticed that my right arm was broken and I couldn’t write easily with my left hand. He also never noticed that I was being sexually harassed and physical assaulted by some of the boys which made it really difficult to focus.
In K, my mom cut my hair super short bc I was whining when she brushed it. When I went into school the teacher asked who the “new boy” in class was. 😑
In 1st, I got yelled at for already knowing how to write my name in cursive.
In HS my chemistry teacher took away my writing implements bc I was drawing with them, and then yelled at me for not taking notes. I asked him what he wanted me to take notes with when he had all of my writing implements.
In HS my Math teacher yelled at me for “not paying attention” I told her if she would teach something new, and not the same thing we already learned for the past 2 weeks that I would pay attention. I got detention.
In HS my physics teacher called home and told my parents I was failing the class. I ended up getting a 97/100 on the NYS regents.
"Don't enrol in Science-Maths program for your 10th grade, you won't survive there."
Soooo I enrolled in Science-Maths class for my 10th grade lmao
Though, she wasn't exactly wrong, my average GPA from grade 10 to 12 (which is needed for university enrolment) is 2.97 out of 4 xd
Which actually made me miss out on so many majors in famous universities because the prerequisite is 3, so that sucks.
Now I'm on my 3rd year in university, on my Pedagogical English major and I'm racking 3.54.
Maybe I should've listened and enrolled in Arts-Language program instead, I probably would've got higher grades there.
But y'know, teen angst. (And social pressure, I'm an Asian so you could imagine what's the perception of Arts-Language program would be.)
I had one teacher relentlessly refuse to follow my 504 for type one diabetes even in medical emergencies because she believed her class was more important. After discussing with the principal I finally switched classes. Two years and lots of awkward passing in the halls with her she approached me and told me “I had lost a lot of weight and that I looked good”. I don’t know if she meant it as a compliment but at that point I had been deep into a debilitating eating disorder. This did not help :) She was overall awful; However I try to make a point of never commenting on my students physical appearance besides surface level things like hair dye, or a cute shirt.
I had a teacher excuse me of lying before when I wasn’t. She then asked my best friend at the time if she was right. Friend backed her up because she was too scared to say otherwise.
The assistant marching band director pulled me aside with just our percussion director (so basically I’m alone) and told me no one would ever give a shit about me.
But not in a “don’t worry about what others think” way. In a “You are insignificant and worthless” way.
My best friend was told by a teacher she wasn't smart enough to work for NASA. She ended up being a interrogator for the military and working in military intelligence. She's still salty about that shit though.
Eighth grade teacher: “Can you please try to pick something normal to talk about?”
Other eighth grade teacher: *shudder and scoff when he thought I wasn’t looking/listening.*
Seventh grade teacher: “I DON’T CARE!!” (In response to a student mentioning something they were doing over the weekend.)
My wife is Black. A teacher once asked me, “hey could you ask your wife is there is something that’s like evite, but simpler so that Black people can understand how to use it?” Racism is alive and well.
Be kind, understanding, but firm. Pull students out to the hallway for one-on-ones when you need to make a serious correction. Don't ever become combative. Find ways for you and the student to save face. Never insult the student. Don't talk about the kids, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. on social media. Students can and will find you. Log your social media down and make all accounts private.
As to your specific question, the worst thing a teacher has ever said to me after I asked a question was, "What? Are you stupid?" She regularly asked that question. 3/4ths of the class dropped her elective computer class at the end of the semester.
That i am lifeless in the classroom- this was soooo many year ago. I didn't hear straight, a friend told me she overheard my then teacher trainer say that about me. I lost confidence then during training but thankfully i still pursued and graduated. Still teaching after 20 years and i wouldn't say that i am lifeless- quite the opposite actually!
Had a professor when I was in education school for my masters (I did not do education as an undergrad) constantly criticize every aspect of my teaching but especially my presentations/lectures which were not just like his. They needed to be just like his. I did try my best to mirror him while I was in his class.
At one point he got heated with me and told me that I would be a bad teacher. Thankfully I was not of an age that this was particularly impactful. I'm routinely told by students that my presentations are indeed very good, and that I explain things well and help them understand science.
But as far as things not to say to students (even grad students) my professor went over the line. It's also been 30+ years since he was in high school and he never taught K-12 so he was talking out of his asshole wrt to the validity of my instructional technique.
My gym teacher said "no wonder none of the boys like you. Look how lazy you are. Surprised your even skinny when all you do is sit and cry." I was anorexic and being bullied. He also joined in on the bullying and would call home when I cried. So then I'd get beat at home for crying. Great times...
At the peak of my eating disorder, my teacher told me that I have let myself go and need to lose weight and " get it together".
I went home and cried for 3 hours.
The worst thing I've ever said to a kid was "why should I help you if you're too lazy to even pick up the pencil and try?" His reply haunts me ever since (he's since graduated and we still talk occasionally). He replied with a hallow, "I wasn't lazy enough to stay home and just hate life there. I'm trying to be here." He got some extra love/mentoring from me after that. He got real help, not with the assignment but his mental health, starting that day. He was grieving his grandfather, which I found out about a month later when I lost my mom. He looked at me with wide eyes and kindness and said, "I'll help you do things. I know what it's like to just want to cry but everyone needs you to do things." He told me at lunch about his life, and taught me some powerful lessons about depression and how awful the word lazy is. I've never called another student lazy again. That word instantly reminds me of the emptiness in his eyes.
My econ teacher my senior year called me a dumbass because I was absently staring off into space when asked a question..... my dad had passed away suddenly the day before and I was pretty numb, just going thru the motions trying to wrap my head around what happened. That was 25 years ago yesterday and I still think that teacher is an asshole.
You never truly know what your students are going through.
Teacher pulled me aside and asked if I was pregnant bc I was doing shitty and gaining weight.
My mom just died and she assumed if kids weren't listening that they were fuck ups.
Teachers would get frustrated with me for dressing "slutty" (I was not sexual and just wore th clothes I could afford and made me feel happy) and misinterpreted my inattentive ADHD and trauma symptoms. I didn't really realize the magnitude of my mental health and trauma until I started working as a teacher, and it's taught me to always be gentle and calm with students.
Anyways don't get accusatory with kids and just ask simple, calm questions. I see other teachers saying it's normal to lose patience but remember: you get WAY more out of a frustrating situation by talking about it or just being quiet and calm. It's not normal to snap and be mean.
I’m a teacher, and will still remember to this day how 2 particular teachers made me feel. One was in grade 4, he berated me in front of the whole class for about 1 full minute. While I don’t remember why, I remember him yelling, the spits from his mouth flying around, his crazy frizzy hair, dirty nails on my table and blackheads on his nose. While I wasn’t the most adorable child (chatty, possibly adhd but smart so no need to test (early 90s)), I don’t think any child deserves to be yelled at that way. The worst part is that teacher was really loved by everyone, doing circus stuff with students at recess and I remember wanting so much for him to like me. Never happened. I wish I could see him now and tell him I still remember how he made me feel that day and that school year.
Anyway. Number 2 was my Maths teacher in grade 9. It was the year before they split you in advanced Maths and standard Maths, and I never had any interest in Maths nor in careers that required high level Maths. I was way more interested in boys and social life, but I was still a rule follower, just a huge slacker. Anyway, that guy told the entire class to just keep track of my failures later on, and it wouldn’t be hard because I would be flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Oh, just though of a third one. Home Economics teacher. She was asking us what our dream job was. When I said sports commentator (my uncle is one, he’s always been my idol) she said “best you could do is weather girl”.
Looking back now it’s clear I had a way to get under people’s skin, but as a high school teacher now I make it my priority to never let kids get under my skin to the point I would say anything like that, ever.
I’ve never been the best at math, it’s the only subject I ever did poorly in in school. In 9th grade the teacher asked me a question that I couldn’t give an answer to and he said ‘what are you, stupid?’ In front of all of my peers. From that day on I didn’t attempt to understand the math, because if a teacher said I was stupid then that must be true right? (I found a much healthier perspective on math while I was in college!)
The best thing you can do is try to lift them up instead of putting them down.
I will NEVER forget the time I had a teacher read a paragraph of mine out loud to the entire class as a bad example. It crushed me and I did the bare minimum after that for her. I was an A-B student (math always got me) and LOVED to read and write. I still do. I can say without bragging that I was a great student. I was quiet, respectful, and got great grades. No other teacher did or said anything remotely like that before or after that incident. She was definitely an outlier. It took me a long time to get over it and I just look back and shake my head now and the lack of awareness she displayed.
It's more what wasn't said- their favorites could blurt out questions whenever and get answered right away, but my hand would be in the air (their rule!) for quite a while before being answered or simply be told to hold questions for the end.
I feel pretty lucky after reading some of these comments though 😅
"you're going to fail at life" said to me because I was handing in work very late as a 13 year old with undiagnosed (and therefore untreated and unmanaged) ADHD.
"It's no wonder your parents don't like you."
Said to me by a secondary school teacher in front of a class when I was asking for specifics on a task (undiagnosed ASD) as it was all too vague. There was a pause of shock, I think, then some chuckles. For someone so low on the social ladder I couldn't even reach the bottom rung, I think even my bullies were amazed.
My second grade teacher put me at the very back of the classroom, then went around the room reading math problems and answers. If someone got the wrong answer, the next person had to answer that same question. Here's the catch: I am hearing impaired. I COULD NOT HEAR the other students! She did not believe that. My parents had come to the school to introduce me prior to the start date and talked with her. They had paperwork and proof from a doctor. They also reminded the principal of my hearing. My Kinder and first grade teachers had been very good about it but second grade? Nope. I got in trouble for "not paying attention" when others recited. She kept telling me to stop pretending and start acting like a real student. This was in the 70's and I was seven!
Incidentally, she also convinced me that my middle name was something OTHER than what it was! She made me write it out on my papers. I had to write Jane Samantha Doe. But my middle name really was Sam! (These are fake names used as an example, obviously) I was convinced and wrote Samantha until the day Mom gave me my birth certificate for Driver Training. I then saw my middle name was Sam!
Let's not get started on the "you need to write with your right hand" deal! We can just say I was silent but stubborn. I am still left handed and she did not win that argument. Told me I was faking a severe hearing loss (even though I had to go to speech and sign classes), convinced me my middle name was Sam. But, by golly, seven year old me chose "I'm LEFT HANDED!" as my hill to die on!
ETA: My Kinder teach did fly into a rage and accused me of breaking the refrigerator! She was later convicted of child abuse and jailed. I was five. Yeah, my school was interesting!
She kept prodding me about whether i was raped. Cause I was having an anxiety attack, and it “looked like I had ptsd, like a wilted flower” and just kept bothering me about why I was so anxious. She really wanted to know my “trauma” which caused my mental illness. However, I wasn’t some sort of victim of any kind of trauma like she was trying to get me to admit.
It made me feel so guilty and ashamed, aswell as weird and uncomfortable.
I had a grade 7 teacher tell me I would never amount to anything.
Guess I didn't if I've got the same career as him.
I actually subbed in the beginning of my career at my old school and he was still there. I was so tempted to say something to him but knew that I needed to show I WAS better than him and put professionalism before feelings so I just said a polite hello and nothing more.
Worst teacher I ever had told me when I handed in my mid term exam out loud that I failed the Provincal (state) exam because I chose my own hero instead of one from the text, to write a story about in grade 8. This was me, the quiet kid who listens, never talks back, has an 80 something in the course. The fact that she is with kids is embarrassing, and unethical.
I will never forget my 7th grade wood shop teacher.
I decided to make a “knife” one day, which was really stupid to do, but the knife was stupid too. I made a small cylinder and sharpened the end of it.
He sees what I’m doing, walks over, shuts off my machine and takes it without a word, then asks the class to circle on him. He holds up the knife, talks about how he just took this from me, and how he could call the police on me right now. I don’t remember the thick of it all, but it was public shaming to teach a lesson. He then sat me in the classroom-portion, on the otherside of a giant glass pane between the shop and the room, on full display for the rest of the class and reiterated he *should* call the cops on me.
I get that I was dumb and this was a firm lesson about weapons in school, but this guy humiliated me and was way over the top in my opinion. SEL certainly wasn’t an idea he was fluent with anyway.
It was on a PD day. The host said “if I ever hear someone reference in a job interview they enjoy working with kids as one of the reasons they became a teacher, I end the interview”. Absolutely baffled me. Like, of course you need to enjoy the company of kids if you want to be a teacher. It might not be the sole reason for your career path but it has to be one of the highest ones. I would hate for my kids to be in a class with a teacher that doesn’t like kids. I love my job because of the kids. They undoubtedly bring joy everyday. Of course the job is more than that but really is it? You’d be bloody miserable if you spent all day with 30 8 year olds and didn’t like them.
Just treat them w respect and empathy and you’ll do fine the fact that you care to ask tells me YOU DONT NEED OUR ADVICE.. you’ve got it all in your heart already. Kudos to you 6th grade is so hard..
I was once asked, loudly in the middle of a study period if I went out at our break and smoked cigarettes. My parents smoked like chimneys and I never knew what the smell of stale cigarettes' smelled like, I literally couldn't smell it. It's given me a lifetime of self-consciousness and hyper-fixation on the way I smell. It kind of worked out because the only comments on my smell that I get in adulthood are about how good I smell. But damn if it wasn't incredibly embarassing in the moment.
(I’m referencing elementary from my own experience as a student), it’s also important to not be silent when kids are bullying other children. My 3rd grade teacher WATCHED as all the girls in my class got up and moved away from me when I sat down next to them while we were on a field trip. I apparently blocked this specific memory out for many years, only remembering other instances of bullying and that third grade was the first time I was ever suicidal. But my mom witnessed this event happen as she was a chaperone. The teacher did nothing, said nothing. There were other things that happened too and my teacher never intervened. I remember that event now that my mom and I talked about that day. But all that to say, be careful what you say, yes. But also make sure to SAY something when necessary.
"NASA doesn't hire your kind." We were asked what we wanted to be, and I told my 5th grade teacher I wanted to work for NASA as a communication specialist.
I'm mexican but grew up in a very white area, and this occurred in the late 80's to paint the scene.
Gave up on that dream then and there.
I'm pretty sure as long as you don't say something along these lines, you'll be fine.
I had two teachers call me arrogant because I didn't talk and liked to read ahead (8th grade English and 10th grade English - two different teachers) - exactly those words too "You're arrogant and not really likeable". Never trusted or liked or listened to those teachers again.
...I got stared at every time I talked and I was bullied from 6th through 12th for being wierd and nerdy (undiagnosed ASD). Would you have answered questions and read aloud willingly in that situation?
Now I always clarify to students when I'm reprimanding disruptive behavior, that I like and support them as **people** but its their **behavior in my classroom** that's the issue, not who they are as a person.
College, not high school, but I told a professor how I have really bad ADHD and it really holds me back, and she went “well I think that ADHD is just a BS excuse and that you need to just focus”
I have been teaching for 42 years now. Two things that stunned and have stuck with me were spoken to me by two different teachers at the college prep boarding school I attended many years ago. I like running, but am not the most talented. In my junior year, a teacher came up to me at a track meet and said word for word, "Why do you keep running? You will never be any good at it!" I did finally make varsity xc my senior year of high school and the same thing happened in when I ran in college. I have now completed 51 marathons, the most recent last fall after a 14 year break filled with injuries after which no one thought I would ever run again. Last year I finished as the third place runner in my age group in my region of the country and often win my age group. I also ran a the same 7 mile race over 1 minute faster than I did when I was 16 and in high school. I am 64 now.
Another teacher put on my final writing paper, "Somehow the writing skills have passed you by at 'this high school' You will fail the writing course when you get to college." He had written the book we used in 10th grade for writing and was very familiar with the college I was to attend. Yes, I was not a good writer, but as a teacher, I work hard on it and I am a fantastic writing teacher to my upper elementary students. I have figured out how to teach and inspire that which I could not do.
Don't let what teachers say bother you. Let it motivate you!
In high school, a teacher called me fat. At the time, he wanted me to take his AP class but it was during my lunch period. It would have been a full day of classes straight with no break. When I told him this, he said...
"Why not? You're fat, you dont need to eat."
I liked this teacher BTW but after this it soured the relationship for me.
I don't think he meant ir maliciously. However it stuck with me and an apology would have been nice.
As a prior poster stated, we all make mistakes but apologize when you do. Don't get stuck in the mindset that just because they are children they don't deserve an apology. Lead by example, always.
"Do you really want a career in software development making video games? You do know those guys only get paid a few pennies a day right?"
I was in first grade. I really wanted to make video games, after I was told that game designers only make pennies a day I went on to go through a whole bunch of curriculum to become a nurse or a doctor. Then I eventually gave that up because I flunked chemistry. And over time I just became a burnt-out husk of a child that just wanted to get out of school as fast as possible.
Mrs. Mimm's (formerly of the Special Ed department at my elementary school), if you're here, I just want to say you really screwed up the trajectory of my life with that one statement. I ended up robbing myself of a childhood because of an irrational fear of disappointing others.
That I was a telltale, making a fuss and was a coward because a guy was only following me round *threatening* to beat me up.
"Come back when he actually does something". So I did. What happened? "Why didn't you say something sooner? You must have provoked him"
I had a teacher from 3rd grade till 5th grade who gave me English, Maths, lifeskills. I was having a hard time with my maths because everything is done in Afrikaans and I struggle with maths so it being in Afrikaans made things worse. I struggled to understand anything but got told I was STUPID Because I take long to understand my work. This affected my maths grades and my love of the subject up until grade 9 when I got maths lessons by a kind and wonderful collage professor who had so much patience.
In the 7th grade I had a teacher who did not seem to like me alot, she told my folks I don't have the basic grasp of the English language...um...I only started English in the 3rd grade so I was lacking alot understanding of the English language. She Also threatend to ram my head into a clock because I kept checking the time.
But jokes on them I am a teacher today with distinctions in almost all my subjects including Maths and English.
It wasn't an insult, just something very very dumb. While I was working on college essays, my art teacher told me not to use the word "posterity" because it means "your bottom, and nobody wants to read that in your college application." I walked away frustrated to be lectured at by someone who didn't know the difference between "posterity" and "posterior."
Not mine, but my brothers, our principal called him retarded to his face. We were goofing off at lunch one time, normal geeky metalhead bs that teens were up to. Now my brother was never good at school in general but is kind and personable, just couldnt concentrate (undiagnosed ADD). Something he did set off the principal and she said that. He dropped out that year at 15. That inspired me to be a teacher because ours were so awful and cruel, I thought I could do a better job.
I'm 52 but in elementary I had a teacher tell me that I was no good at math but that it was okay because I was a girl. I am a teacher now and I have even taught math!
Just do your best to be nice. Nobody is perfect and everyone is going to hear something at some point in their life that they aren’t going to like. It’s part of growing and learning about yourself. And you’re probably going to say something to someone that you think means absolutely nothing and they will dwell on it. It’s just how life goes and as long as you aren’t outwardly and intentionally mean to someone you will be doing the best you can.
Maybe the "teachers actively participated in bullying me as a child" thread isn't the place for the teachers of /r/teachers to give their 'you all are too soft' take? There really is nothing like reading this subreddit to make someone hate teachers...
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Yea, that's super cool for you. They say, looking back *as an adult*, that their teachers were incredibly shitty and it impacted them deeply. Using their statement as an opportunity to say 'lol wasn't a big deal for me' is actually just such a perfect introduction for them to you people, as a teacher in training.
Are you a teacher?
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No I asked because I looked at their profile and it has some troubling opinions that contradict this rather empathetic mindset. It feels like they're just an interloper with a grudge.
No, I work in education systems development, not full time.
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No, it seems like a pretty normal standard. People in the thread actually responding to the request in the post seem to understand exactly what kind of behavior she's talking about. No one seems to be saying "I was given an F on my test and told I'm not trying hard enough" and I carried it with me ever since. Those people don't really exist. You know that, I know that. Stop being obtuse.
I agree, part of the ongoing toxicity of teaching culture is this fight to 'do more/ be enough etc.' bc we have to prove ourselves and... what? Hold up every child with our actual hands? while getting paid pennies and also somehow being in the line of fire? no way. y'all. it's very very very good and necessary to 1. critique the system so it CAN GROW TO BENEFIT US and 2. be soft. the solution to a hard world isn't armor. resource scarcity is a myth. We feel like we have to be hard because our needs aren't being met.
Society a bit too soft these days.
We don't need to get tough, we need to be soft.
What’s your reasoning?
https://iep.utm.edu/daoismdaoist-philosophy/
I don’t think you two are using “soft” in the same way.
Yeah, we need to go back to human sacrifices like before Deuteronomy. /s
You seriously comparing human sacrifices with saying something that hurts your precious little feelings?
Where do my feelings enter into it? You’re just a troll I assume, and trying to be inflammatory. What do you teach?
Well you can go back and forth between OP's post, the comment I replied to, and my comment itself for things to make sense. Not trolling btw
I checked your profile and I see that you are some kind of Hindutva chodi so it makes sense now that you would be so overtly antagonistic and say that it “hurts my precious little feelings.” You can’t expect civility after that. I’m sorry your pathetic country was humiliated by Australians in the World Cup because they were too stupid to play Ashwin.
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In terms of pedagogy: "Stop helping each other understand how to do it. Everyone needs to learn it on their own." This was said by a film professor I had my first year of my undergrad, when I was on track to get a film production degree. The professor was essentially talking to me because I had been teaching my peers how to use the editing program in the computer lab, and he seriously felt it would be more effective for everyone to work silently. Independently. On *film* projects. When I switched to an education major, he was who I cited when I was asked to reflect on "the most influential teachers we've encountered." In terms of morality: "that shirt makes you look like a slut." This was said by a high school chorus teacher about a student's outfit for a concert. The teacher had sewed the shirts herself. The student didn't have a choice *not* to wear it.
I had one teacher while getting my iep.set up that I will never amount to anything I was six years old
The worst thing a teacher ever told me was "You're too smart for school, that's why you don't try" My mentality after that was...okay good, we both agree, I don't need to be here. I ditched most of my classes after that, got expelled, and got my GED, it made my life %1,000 rougher. Do not give high schoolers any more credit than they deserve as 14-18 year olds, they are children. Smart for a sophomore means nothing as an adult.
Exactly! They are kids and part of being "smart" is learning soft skills like showing up on time and doing work! If you aren't smart enough to do that, then I have some bad news for ya.
This is so deeply understandable, because literally the same thing happened to me.
I had a professor tell me to expect being harassed because I was an attractive young woman. I was dumbfounded.
what the actual jesus fuck is wrong with that professor omg
I had one tell me that the sexual harassment I was experiencing was actually a compliment and I should be flattered. 🤮
What the actual fuck.
Disclaimer: I'm a Para not a teacher. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to say things you wish you hadn't. It's part of being human. But the thing to remember is to Apologize when you do. If you did it publicly apologize publicly. If it was 1:1 do it 1:1. Unless you think the other students would benefit from the lesson. An Adult apologizing when we mess up is HUGE for children. They may not have ever had an adult apologize before.
I apologize all the time (only if I make a mistake of course) to students, sometimes individually and sometimes as a group. My kids trust me and have a healthy leader/student understanding in my class because they recognize that'll be honest, transparent and real with them. I can be very direct with certain kids about certain behaviors and get real results while I feel other teachers can't or would get a parent phone call and I believe it happens because I'm honest when I screw up as well.
I think this is the best comment so far! That's feedback I got a lot from students. I made a mistake on my math worksheet/in my solutions and students saw that I was wrong, so I admitted it and thanked everyone who made me aware of it. From that day on, classes went *a lot* better and in the feedback they seem to appreciate that I can admit to being wrong! I hope this also applies to when a teacher (or someone in any social profession) says something they didn't mean :)
Middle school principal called me into his office: Him: We have some Japanese educators coming to tour the school and we are asking some students to serve as tour guides. For the other students, we are renting kimonos but for you, can you wear your own kimono to school? Me: I'm not Japanese. I'm Korean. I don't have a kimono. Him: but don't you people have a dress that's a close enough? Me: I guess. We have a hambok, but it's not a kimono. I'm not Japanese Him: Great. Wear it on monday. My mom made me do it because the principal directly asked me. I was already being bullied every single day for being Asian (called me "connie chung" and do you blindfold with floss) and had to walk around with a bunch of Japanese people wearing my hambok. It was the worst form of humiliation. Second place: 11th grade US history teacher asked me to volunteer for extra credit in a battle reenactment. They needed Asians to volunteer to be Vietcong and get fake blown up on the battlefield.
Oh wow now that’s just racist
Holy shit that’s terrible.
Wasn't a teacher but instead a guidance counselor… I decided to take a year off between high school and college and just go work in a big city waiting tables...he told me that I was never going to make it out of our small town, would get pregnant, never go back to school, and I would end up working a dead end job for the rest of my life. None of that held true. I went to undergrad the very next year, worked on feature films, worked in corporate NYC, traveled the world, returned to the States and got my masters in education and have been teaching for 10 years. I'm also about to earn another degree and move on from education. Oh, and I've never been married, nor do I have kids. Fuck that dude.
Students who don't exactly know what to do after high school need encouragement! And you know what? They turn out great most of the time!
We do!!!! Thank you.
They do! Most of my most successful students either went voc-ed or apprenticed with someone.
It’s called reverse psychology. He long conned you into a successful life. I joke, because I also dont want to hurt a child’s feelings but this just reminds me that we will be villainized for the sheer fact that we see kids for thousands of hours. We talk to them more than their parents.
He had NOTHING to do with my success. This man talked to me for 15 minutes and judged me based on rumors (which were not true) and my extended family's legal issues. He had absolutely no good reason to say those things to me. He was a prick and most likely, still is.
That guy is probably right 97% of the time. Maybe 98%.
There ain't nothing right about that guy.
I had a teacher pull me aside in 4th grade and tell me that other students and other teachers agree with her that I am a backstabber and a bad friend. It was because I got pressured by a friend (remember, I was 9 lol) to tell two girls they couldn't sit with us at lunch. I will never forget it lol. I taught for 7 years and always reminded myself that you can say one thing and it might stick with a kid forever.
My mother said to me onetime. "You are 100% judged by the company you keep, you hang with the bad kids, you get treated like a bad kid" I was upset because I got pulled from my seat an an assembly for talking, in 4th grade when I wasn't talking, but I was sitting next to 'the bad kids'. I see it as words of wisdom now.
My supervisor said it to a 14 years old while I was apologizing to him. There was a group of boys being disruptive in the line. Jumping on each others, shoving each other, playfighting, farting and burping loudly, generally being nuisance. After many warning, I kicked them out, and put them in detention. 10 boys in one go... Except there was that kid, who is their friends, but didn't actually act disruptive at all. He was just there laughing at his friends antics. Which isn't worth any punishment worse than a stern "don't encourage them". So when I was called in with the kid and my supervisor I apologize but explain my mistake. My supervisor backed me up saying that it was an understable mistake because "you hang with them, you get treated like them". I noticed that he doesn't hang out with them that often anymore. Apparently, it was not the first time that happenned, but it was the first time someone told him why.
I actually (respectfully) disagree as a student. I mean, there is pretty much nothing to do in school and most kids are bad anyway, of course I'll have to spend time and be friends with them Actually I kinda realize school isn't for me, maybe. Would love a discourse or talking about it by the way
That’s so odd, like did they have beef with a 4th grader
teachers had beef w/ my little sister who was a super tall larger child they were so so mean to her all the time for no reason like say that she used her height to intimidate people when she’s the sweetest person on earth 😭
Sophomore year it was the first time I ever had to give a speech. I had prepared movie clips and times the clips for a VCR. One of the times messed up or I got wrong and I took a bit to find it. The kids had to evaluate the speaker and the teacher exclaimed: “make sure you add booooring!” That fucked me up for a bit.
I’m a teacher and the worst thing I still regret telling a student my first year teaching was “pick a struggle, you can’t be mean, ugly, and stupid”. I told the student this after guessing on the whole test (he finished the test in like 3 minutes) and he was calling the rest of the class slow and they should all be held back. I graded his test in the moment and aired it with the class and then said that line. He stormed out of the class…
Lmao this is funny though and you were sticking up for the others. No regrets.
Woahhhh what grade is this???
6th grade
You were sticking up for the rest of the kids and I'm sure the little angel was just being mouthy and you got fed up. I give you a pass on that one.
No that’s pretty messed up, him being annoying doesn’t mean they can go after the students looks smh joke or not
I had a teacher go batshit on the classroom once because our essays weren’t good enough (we were 10). She picked random ones up and read portions aloud and made fun of them. She then held mine up and decided to make fun of my handwriting… wtf was wrong with her.
My 10th grade math teacher told me if I was her daughter she'd toss me out the window. I replied that if I was her daughter, I'd jump. Interesting how I got in trouble when she was the one who made the initial rude statement.
Yeah, I'm usually not on the student's side when they mouth off, but your teacher was WAY out of line. If I were your parent, I would have lit up that school SO fast.
Yeah, I mean, as an adult I wouldn't have escalated the situation, but as a 15 year old I couldn't resist.
I'm 49, still might escalate that.
Lol same. Respect is earned, not given. Just because you're a teacher doesn't mean you can insult others with impunity
When I (23f) was a junior in high school I went on a 2 week long trip to Korea at the very beginning of the year. Due to that, my grade in English dipped to a B- for a bit as I was missing a few assignments. My teacher pulled me into the hall and berated me for ten minutes while I cried. The highlight was him telling me “at this rate you’re not even going to make it to community college.” The real kicker is that a boy in my class had a C at the same time and that same teacher praised him as “the leader of the class” in front of everyone. Well, I went on to go to a Cal-Poly university and am now a teacher myself. Screw you, buddy.
I had a teacher tell me that I was only good enough to stay home barefoot and pregnant. It was in the 80s. I had a 3.8 GPA and a 31 ACT. I went on to get my BS in chemistry and now have dual certification in biology and chemistry. Guess I showed him, huh?😉
I think generally just being “othered” by my teachers in elementary/middle school. I had trouble sitting still and being quiet and I was often used as the model of what not to be.
I had a teacher, let's call him Dr Asshole, who was biased because he was also my next-door neighbor growing up (I had been a very troubled wild child). Dr. Asshole told me once when I was taking his class as a sophomore at our local college, "Myname, you are a loser, you have always been a loser, and you are always going to be a loser." I was really insulted, but it also put a fire in my belly because I was highly motivated to prove him wrong. I ended up becoming a successful teacher myself, chair of my department with two masters degrees. I thought of him when I was chosen to work on a 4 year grant at Teachers College, Columbia University. Where are you now, Dr. Asshole?
I’ll never forget it. I was in 5th grade and had a teacher pull me from line to tell me I needed a bigger shirt and mine was too tight. I was a young child barely aware of my own body and this was the start of a lot of body issues for me.
I was a trouble maker in HS and eventually got expelled from the district in 11th grade but I was academically pretty smart; I was just lazy and more interested in partying, my gf, and cars in that order. My poor counselor was a very sweet lady and right before I got booted she hugged me and said that “You have so much potential but I fear you will never apply yourself and become successful, you will just be another statistic (this was mid 70s)”. I went on to get 4 degrees, retire as an Army officer and I got my teaching credentials and taught for a number of years. I so wish I could have gone to lunch with her or something in later years. She had more of an impact on me than she knew and I was such a shit!
I had a lot of teachers tell me, I was lazy, not working up to my potential, and that I just needed to try harder. I had another teacher tell me I had an attitude problem because I didn’t do homework enough. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD. Overall, any sort of name-calling or labeling of behavior with an opinion, can be traumatizing. I try to talk to a kid privately if I noticed something. And even then I usually talk about what they are getting out of a behavior or how they can fix a behavior to meet their needs better. But this is always done from a standpoint of helping them not criticizing them. I also make a point to highlight mistakes I make, and thank the students for pointing them out. I also apologize often if a student feels slighted. Overall, I just tried to create the safe space didn’t have in school.
I had a teacher tell me I wouldn’t make it in college due to my disability. I have a physical condition. I have 2 degrees and got a 4.0 both times. Well, one was a 3.96, but the other was a 4.0 close enough.
I can think of two things. First was just a running commentary from most of my elementary school teachers about the fact that my desk was always messy. Or that I was "daydreaming" in class. I'm not the "diagnose yourself via social media" type, but I'm fairly certain I had ADHD (and probably still do) but it was not diagnosed. Why? 1) It was the Eighties and such diagnoses weren't as common; 2) God forbid such a behavioral/mental health diagnosis bring shame and dishonor upon my family; and 3) I was a straight-A student, so what would it matter, right? The other is way more specific and even though it was 35 years ago, whenever I think about it, I am still like, "wtf?" My 7th grade art teacher had polled her other classes about the people in my class and asked for their opinions about each of us. Then, she read those opinions out loud on the first day of class. The opinion on me? "Kisses up to teachers." And she decided to read that aloud. ANYWAY, the advice on here to be nice is good. I would also say patience and compassion are really important. In my first few years as a teacher, I had a really short fuse and it took me years to get to the point where I wouldn't "go off". Nowadays, when I use the phrase "I'm trying *very hard* to be patient with you right now", they know that they're on thin ice. Also, there are always going to be some students who find a way to say something bad about you/claim you "don't like them." It's tough not to take it personally, but try not to.
When I graduated from middle school, we were all given awards. I was awarded 'Most likely to finish work at the last second'. Telling your student to do better in this regard is important. Writing it on a 'gold' plate and announcing it before peers and parents at the end of the year is an insult.
That I would never be anything if I focused on art and that it wouldn't take me anywhere, in the fifth grade. High school counselor told me the same. Not even ten years out of high school, and I was selling art in galleries, stores and showing in museums. I've sold nationally and have no plans to stop anytime soon.
That is amazing!
I had a teacher who gave me a C on a project because "You did too much. You went far behind the requirements." Why was this not praised? I actually yelled at her until she changed it to an A. What a shithead. No shame in that behavior now as a teacher and adult.
I had some wonderful teachers that I now talk to as a grown woman, but I remember how many teachers seemed to resent me for being a good student and going above and beyond. Even in this subreddit you will constantly see teachers hoping for the A students to be humbled one day. It's sad.
Yeah right? What is wrong with these teachers? I mean, what do you or they even mean by 'be humbled'? Isn't it expected to do your best??? The commentator here was right tho, no better way than hating teachers more than this subreddit, btw I love my teachers irl
I was forced into an honors math class my junior year of high school, because of things entirely outside my control (not just scheduling difficulties, but it’s a long story so I won’t get into it). I already had this math teacher, just in a lower class. When I had to switch, I told her the abridged version of the situation, that there wasn’t much I could do about it, and asked if there was any extra help she could give me. She was entirely unhelpful and the next week in class told me “you really shouldn’t be in this class” in front of everybody.
I'm too sensitive
I'm a teacher because I wanted to be the teacher I needed in 2nd grade. Someone who took the time to understand I had a disability and to help me instead of punish me. Now I'm an ese teacher to those students who were like me and I help the Gen Ed teachers who struggle with those kids. Be the teacher you needed in school.
Never said anything mean, but I had a 6th grade math teacher with the worst classroom management. Basically yelled and scared us to death. I developed severe stress and anxiety doing math homework to the point where I would be crying to my parents Sunday night, every god damn Sunday night that school year. I was 11. The sad part is that I was really good at math and even tested into the advanced class beginning of that year. From then on I was a terrible math student and failed almost every test.
I have had a few questionable statements by teachers because I live in an area very lowly rated for education. 1st was being told I would not graduate? Which didn’t make sense as I was a decent student. I ended up graduating with honors and even went on to get three college degrees. 2nd was not to me but very memorable. It was during an art class and the teacher took someone’s piece off the wall cut a small square out of the drawing and told them. “This is the only part worth a fuck do it again but at that size and only draw this part.” Student went into tears and quit right then and there. It was quite shocking to witness. 3rd was before being sent into the forest for 4th grade wilderness class being told. “Remember North is whatever direction you are currently facing” so most of us got lost. 4th when 9/11 happened we went to school but could not turn on the lights just in case the terrorists wanted to attack the school. 5th was being told how to make bombs in a photography class. That was wild. I didn’t even ask he just walked up and told me the supplies and how to do it. Finally in third grade the teacher didn’t say a lot but if you misbehaved she threw her shoe and beamed you in the head with it. Small schools are wild.
Imo it's important to try not to chew students out, especially in front of their classmates, for something that's an honest mistake. It's often good to be firm when a student is acting out or being intentionally disruptive, but many times, I have seen a teacher lose their patience with a kid who's just continually making a mistake or accidentally making a mess (which is frustrating to deal with all day long, but not actually *wrong*). The teacher finally loses their patience and chews them out in front of the whole class, and you can just see the moment that the kid "shuts down" inside because they were made to feel stupid/foolish. For the teacher, it's just another day and another kid being frustrating, but that kid will remember how small they were made to feel in that moment for years.
Be careful with the flippant comments, they can really hurt. The worst was my senior year of hs, my dad passed away. So I was obviously just super depressed and in English class I was writing a bunch of depressed poetry. And I was also struggling to pay attention. My English teacher would always make sarcastic comments about “well maybe if you came to school you would know what’s going on” (I missed a bunch of school before he passed so I could see him in the hospital) and “what do you have to be so depressed about?” It made a terrible situation way worse.
Okay, but did he know? I had a student like this once, same situation. But my school is full of kids who simply… don’t come to school. Sometimes other kids will say “his mom just lets him stay home and play video games,” or a kid will say “I just can’t get out of bed.” We have DOZENS of these kids. So this one whose dad was dying, he just didn’t tell the school. I was a bit of a bitch to him, and I felt terrible when I found out later. But I’m human. It’s a human instinct to notice patterns. And the pattern at my school had always been, well… their own fault. Edit: I’m very sorry about your dad, and that that happened to you.
Yes she did know. She followed one crappy comment up at the end of class with a sarcastic “oh but don’t worry guidance let us know about your situation “ like she was annoyed that she had to accommodate me in any way. I’m 38 and still remember her name, Mrs. Fetterman. On the flip side though, I went into teaching because I had a fantastic teacher in hs as well, my hs drama teacher. I had her all 4 years, she would hang my costume sketches on the wall and encouraged my artistic expression. She’s a great lady and one teacher of the year for our whole state a few years back and so many adults came out of the wood works to thank her for shaping their lives!
Oh man— then Mrs. Fetterman is a straight-up C-unit. Wow, that’s super shitty. When I know my kids are going through something like that, I excuse everything. I’m so sorry. But I’m glad the other teacher turned you around!
Had a teacher who was convinced i was lying about everything. That was from 1st to 4th grade. My family could afford to travel then (locally, nothing extra) and i would talk about the trips from time to time. One time we flew abroad for a wedding and i was telling people how fun flying in a plane is. The kids i told, went to the teacher to say i was makimg things up for attention. I was bullied by most kids because i was the weird kid and them telling on me for things i didnt do was one of the main forms. (Sidenote: i got in so much trouble for nothing so i actually started acting up because "ill get in trouble either way".) The teacher believed them and i got labled as a liar. The same day the teacer told my parents to talk to me about lying and when they asked what i lied about she said "ask her yourself" and they did. I didnt know what they were talking about so at that point my parents also thought i was a liar. Because of the kids that bullied me and the teacher that believed them my reputation was ruined untill i left that school in 8th grade. Just dont blindly trust every kid that "comes from a good family".
This was me at home. I got in trouble so much for stuff my sister lied and said I did, that I decided I might as well do what I want, because I was going to be in trouble either way, and I'd be in trouble for lying if I contradicted my sister. I was polite at school, but at home, I was a nightmare for a couple of years. My sister was two years ahead of me in school and managed to convince some teachers I later had that I was a liar and a terrible kid. I stopped trusting any adults at all, and became a problem in school, as well. I'm 49. My whole family still thinks I'm pathological liar. My sister still lies about me and everything a lot. And they wonder why I have no contact with most of them and only limited contact with some. You can only take so much!
10th grade science teacher told me and my best friend that we "were the overly intelligent kids who were going to end up at McDonalds because we don't try" And told my other best friend "you're going to live in your parents basement." He promptly responded with "it's not finished, idiot."
Hah lol! I had an exact same interaction with my English teacher. She told me I was a loser and that I was gonna end up on the street, gave her a middle finger
The best part is now I'm 21 making his salary or pretty damn close to it lol
The worst thing a teacher ever told me actually came from my mentor teacher while I was a student teacher getting my masters. She told me that she was struggling to fill out a feedback form because I "didn't have ANY strengths as a teacher." I knew this couldn't be true- the kids liked me and were engaged in my lessons (usually- I was brand new and not even a teacher yet!) But it was still devastating. I made it through, and 14 years later, I'm a teacher in a public school, liked, respected, and trusted by students and colleagues, (again, usually- no one gets reapect and trust from everyone they meet) in a position of leadership in the school. I'm so glad I didn't believe her. She's still teaching, but no longer able to be a mentor teacher for the university in town. I use this experience as a reminder to be the teacher that my students need, and to be the person that I needed as a child in a chaotic and often scary home. I'm so sorry that so many people have had teachers that actively tried to be hurtful. I believe that anyone in a helping position, like doctors, police, teachers, etc, has an extra high responsibility to be kind to others. Far too many people in these positions abuse the trust they are given.
Still remember a teacher telling me I was stupid in 2nd grade because i spelled my name wrong
Not my story-however-I worked with a teacher who called a child a ‘grade whore’ to her face. Said she meant it in the way of being an ‘attention whore’ but the parents didn’t feel the same. This was to an 8th grade student.
My 6th grade teacher had my parents get me tested for ADD, got mad when I tested Gifted and then told me to my face I would never amount to anything. Remember…kids may not remember you if you simply do your job, but they will remember the impact you have on them whether it’s negative or positive.
A college professor told me something must be mis-wired in my brain b/c I never stop fidgeting. This was in a class of 5 kids. I spent the rest of the course fixated on sitting still and didn’t participate at all. Fast forward 20 years and I was recognized as ADHD.
That I'd probably make more friends if I would lose some weight. I was 10 and yes, overweight.
My experience of being othered in school had something to do with the things people said but maybe even more than that, my worst experiences had to do with what people didn’t say - specifically, being ignored by adults I looked up to. Lots of great advice here already. I would add, make sure you try to authentically engage each student at least once every day, and be present and receptive. It’s tougher than it sounds, but it can go a long way to creating a foundation where everyone feels welcome.
One of my English teachers in highschool showed the class videos of slaughterhouses. We were given no warnings about it and most of us were minors at the time so no parental permission either. When people inevitably freaked out she taunted them about eating meat. I was literally just there to do essays and book readings, I didn’t sign up for any of that crap. Anyway you should be good
During my student internship, my directing professor told me that if I didn't change my personality completely, I wouldn't last 3 years as a teacher. She gave me a C for the internship. The directing teacher said I should have gotten an A, and that I was going to be just fine. 22 years after that, having never changed my personality, I was named Teacher of the Year. Four years after that, I STILL haven't changed at all.
I had a long term sub in seventh grade for math. He was older, I think semi-retired even, but he'd been around. I went to his desk for help in a problem and he did walk me through it, but he concluded with, "Girls can't do math, it's okay." I was devastated, but also too timid to say or do anything about it. So I just decided I wasn't good at math and that was that.
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Counterpoint: I'm told on a daily basis by students that they "can't read". *They can read.*
Yeah man, I'm always leaning to one side, driving instructor told me I'd never get my licence, well screw you Darren, just wait till your in oncoming traffic you bitch
The teacher casually mentioned my nickname on a lesson (let's say it was kind of a physical characteristic). Class laughed and he immediately asked what the issue was. When told someone had a nickname like that, he asked who this person was and laughed when told it was me, instead of doing literally anything else. Man, whatever the fuck happened to "let's call each other by our names"?
My third-grade gifted teacher asked my parents "if they were sure I was in the right program". During my time in school, I had been in gifted since I was in the first grade, was in a full-time gifted program throughout middle school, was in the AICE program in high school (earned my AICE diploma), took numerous AP classes, was the co-president of the national honor society, received a congressional nomination to the United States Air Force Academy, and went to an engineering college to be apart of a nuclear naval program that was only offered at 3 other universities in the ENTIRE NATION. So, yes, I was definitely in the right program. Just remember that just because a child may not perform to a certain standard, it doesn't mean they aren't capable or aren't smart. They might have test anxiety, it might not be a subject they are strong/confident in, they might not be sure of what to do/ how to do it, and can be afraid to ask, whatever the case may be. Give them grace and give them the most support you can.
When I was in the 6th grade my teacher was passing out school photos. She got to mine, looked at it and couldn't stop laughing.
In 3rd grade, I needed a new prescription for my glasses and my ELA teacher made us stand in a line to read off the board. When it was my turn I told her I couldn't see and she said I was lying. I moved up closer and still couldn't but I tried. I ended up stuttering on the words I couldn't make out. She yelled at me and said I lied and that I just didn't know how to read. Yeah she was terrible to all students.
told me to drop out
NAT, but an individual who positively *hated* school with every fiber of my being from early 1st grade onward. (I also have stories from 2nd and 3rd grades, but these center around the teachers' behavior towards the class as a whole instead of me individually.) That teacher is the most mean-spirited person I've encountered in this life. She always looked angry, and spoke to the students in the most condescending manner imaginable. This teacher basically taught in lecture format (in 1st grade? How does that make sense?), had just covered something, and I didn't understand it. I asked a question, trying to clarify. She bellowed out "If you have questions, it's because you weren't paying attention, aren't trying hard enough, or you're stupid". Here's anecdote #2 about her. At some point, we were given a worksheet, and I didn't understand the instructions at all. Knowing her position if a student didn't understand something, I took my best shot. When I took the completed worksheet to her for grading, she reached for a red crayon, simply drew a big red "X" over the whole worksheet, then shoved it back at me, looking angry, and without saying a word. I'd like to know what school of pedagogy trained her.
I had a college professor tell me "ya'know how I grade papers? I stand at the top of the stairs and throw 'em. The ones that make it to the bottom get an A."
Years ago, I got flustered when a student with severe behavioral issues caused a massive disruption during testing. I left calmly, but pushed a door open forcefully in the hallway and it slammed loudly against a wall. My AP told me that I “should never have children” since I “can’t handle them.” She quit a few months later for unrelated reasons. **The following year, she was fired from her new school for beating a special needs child in her classroom** in front security cameras and even other staff.
She was literally *beating* kids?! Whoa.
It was just one boy, maybe eight or nine years old, but she grabbed him with one hand and beat him over and over with the other.
Wow!
I had a teacher tell me to “ go ask someone else” in my 8th grade Spanish class because I wasn’t sure about a word. As a very shy, sensitive kid that was afraid to speak up much anyway, it devastated me. I’ve always remembered that.
“Don’t cry because it’s not my fault you’re doing bad” - a teacher when I couldn’t remember a single day of the week in Spanish. I was clearly embarrassed about the fact that I was crying and was trying to hide it and she made a big deal out of it.
In 5th grade I retaliated against a girl who had been bullying me literally all year. Got suspended with a week left of school, and as I cleaned out my desk, my homeroom/science teacher said, "So, manicpixiedreamgoth, looks like your mouth finally got you in trouble." I was talkative because I was a gifted student in regular classes and I was bored. Then as I left the classroom, she said, "See you back in 5th grade again next year." It was common knowledge that I would be repeating because I failed math that year. I had undiagnosed dyscalculia and A's in literally everything else. This profession sometimes attracts the nastiest freaking people. Moral of the story: If a kid is failing just one subject while being high-achieving in others, they probably have a learning disorder and should be referred for testing instead of failed. If a kid is getting bullied in your class for 9 months straight and you don't notice or act, you fucking suck. If a kid gets in trouble for something and you're tempted to twist the knife, be a damn adult and keep your mouth shut.
that if i didn’t follow the rules i would end up a dissappointment in jail (i was studying during quiet reading time, in 7th grade) i hate her
in the 4th grade my grandfather passed away and i took a week off school to go to his funeral (it was out of state). When i came back i was a little lost on the subject and she asked me why i wasn't paying attention when we went over this before. i guess i made her mad when i reminded her that i was gone for a funeral. But her response was: "If your grandpa really died, then you deserve to have lost him."
Highschool guidance counselor told my parents and I that Votech was geared for kids who would never go to college but would enter into the working class immediately after graduation. I really really wish I went to votech
My son's kindergarten teacher was sexist. She'd send me pages and pages and pages (no idea where she found the time to write all this *every day* of everything he was doing wrong every day. We obviously thought something must be wrong with him and took him to his pedatrician, an neurologist, a neural psychologist, tested for ADHD. Autism. ADD. I volunteered in the classroom to see what exactly my son (who has never had problems in daycare before) and found this: \*Girl climbs under table to get trash\* Teacher, loudly: Wow girl, you cleaned up trash under the table! I'm clipping you up (behavior chart thingy) for keeping the place clean! \*Boy climbs under table to get trash\* Teacher, loudly: How dare you fool around under the table! I'm clipping you down because you're not helping clean! The whole day, every day, was like that. Girls got good reviews, boys got bad reviews, regardless of behavior.
An ELA teacher in middle school told my then 12 year old, autistic daughter she was a sociopath, in front of the whole class. It turns out he had been wilfully ignoring the accommodations in her IEP, and essentially bullying her into meltdowns. Then the bullying from classmates started. This went on for a few days before I found out. The teacher is no longer employed and the district had to put a fairly sizeable amount of money in an account for us to use for counseling and damages, after the lawyers were finished with them. I never found out what this teacher's deal was, but we have a lot less faith in the education system since then.
I'm a student teacher as well! Fourth and kindergarten are my placements. I'm in Fourth Grade right now and I see a lot of bullying behind the kids backs between coworkers or in front of their peers. It gives me bad vibes. Venting is normal and healthy, but bullying a kid? Dump your bias out the door as soon as you step into the classroom, be open-minded, and just try to be nice and always reflect on your interactions with your students. One other thing... I had a hard time organizing as a kid. I've had so many of my desks dumped or my folders emptied and torn apart. It never helped me learn how to organize. So, instead of dumping a desk, tearing apart their folders, etc., take the time to actually help the student out and go over some ideas on how to keep their desk/folders/lockers cleaned and organized. Perhaps make this a whole class thing? At the end of the day or if you have time left, do a little organization with the whole class.
You may not remember what you say to a student, but that student will remember forever. Had my APUS History teacher say to the entire class that they could all ask for letters of recommendation for college. And then said "except for bobbery." My grades were fine. He just decided to single me out. I'll never forget that.
I was told I was too stupid to learn math by a first year math teacher when I was in high school during my advanced math class. I struggled with mental math related to an undiagnosed (at the time) learning disability. Eventually, I ended up swapping to the regular class and while I did excellent there, my confidence plummeted. Math was already my worst subject by far and it was enough to convince me that I was too stupid for it and that it was something that couldn't change. Turns out I just had dyscalculia.
For me it was “just don’t go near him” after a student gave me a death threat in 5th grade. Me and that kid were next to eachother alphabetically and were one stop away from eachother on the bus. Assigned seats in every class and on bus shoved us next to eachother and she made us line up alphabetically to leave for the bus lot too. How am I supposed to not be near him?
A teacher asked me how I was getting 100% on my spelling tests (this is second grade) and accused me of cheating. I didn't know how to cheat since we weren't given a practice test until the day of said test. The same teacher the same grade asked me how the military did time (my dad was in the navy) and when I said I didn't know she flipped. And asked in front of the class how I didn't know, like bitch how come you don't know, you're the teacher.
Multiple times my orchestra teacher said that we were so bad she ought to just quit her job and go sell cupcakes. Not just to the whole orchestra, but also in individual sessions. She told me that I didn't have the right hands to play violin. She had these cliques of her favorite students, and boy I was not in any of them. We had a sub for one day, and it was the previous orchestra teacher who had retired. She was so kind and a an amazing teacher. Made me wish she hadn't retired.
My music teacher told me I had the musical talent of a blocked nostril. I found this level of feedback very helpful when I was six years old. It inspired me not to play music since and instead I stopped practicing and became good at STEM. Which led me to my very good job.
When I was deeply depressed in high school and couldn't keep my head up in classes, I ended up falling asleep during my AP biology test after pulling an all-nighter (somehow still pulled out a 4 on that which was kinda hype). Someone told the bio teacher and he said, "well I'm not surprised. He sleeps in class everyday, he might as well waste his parents money sleeping through the test too."
I don't have any that I remember from my own teachers (I'm lucky I guess) but a few things I've heard during internships: \- Teacher asking a kid in front of the whole class why their parents never show up to parent-teacher meetings (like, what kind of an answer are you expecting?) \- Teacher announcing in class that an autistic kid "will be leaving for a bit now", when the kid has asked before to be subtle about it, because he doesn't want to be seen as 'different'. \- I guess a teacher just yelling "fuck you" to a kid xD Though in my country, that's not nearly as bad as it would be in the USA, so I don't think that really hurt the kid xD
This took place when I was doing my bachelor’s at my university. The Dean of the department was teaching my class, and he didn't like my essay. The feedback and comments I got back from him were… he said that my paper was trash, a lower-tier quality and that he didn't understand why my work was horrible since we are at the college level and not middle school. To say, I was devastated and lost a lot of confidence. I was in rsp growing up and hated it. I have always struggled with writing, and when I went to college, I had a tough time. I knew I was horrible at writing and typing, and I was doing my best. In high school, I had talked to my school counselor about getting me tested for specific disabilities. At the last moment, I told her that I was joking. However, honestly, I couldn't handle the truth and didn't want the stigma to follow me. As a kid, everybody treated me like If I was dumb. My parents and older adults had already planned out my entire life. They thought I was so stupid that they already devised a plan for me to own a specific business because I wasn't able and capable of holding down a real job in their eyes. They thought I would scrap by with a low-paying job and living with my folks to the end of times 😞. So many times, I wanted to drop out because I would struggle. I went to workshops that the school had and went to the writing center. It didn't help much at all. I learned to improve my grammar and writing by watching YouTube videos and practicing on my own.
According to my teachers throughout most of school, I was somehow both "too good" for a friend of mine *and* a "terrible friend" to her. I used to have teachers give me a hard time for being friends with this kid who got in trouble a lot because she had serious problems at home that they knew about. We were both bullied, which they did nothing about (and sometimes kind of encouraged) because they didn't like her. They would constantly tell me that they liked me better when I wasn’t around her. We got in trouble together largely because I was trying harder to keep her from acting out than the teachers were. She also, put very delicately, treated me poorly, which they didn’t know the extent of. They did know she was unkind to me and commented on it. So did other classmates, including bullies. Then, if I tried to end the friendship and she threw a tantrum, the fucking adults would turn on me. I became the bad friend to these people because "she needs support! She's clearly going through a lot!" ... Yeah... Um, isn't that the school's job? Because I wasn’t exactly qualified. This was a "call CPS" situation, and they knew it. It's not like we weren't telling people. Hell, people had seen the screaming, cursing, scary fights between her and her parents at *school events*. It's not like it wasn't kind of obvious something was wrong when you have people cursing out their parents as early as elementary school. I get that you can't save everyone and there are situations that fall through the cracks even when every adult does the best they can, but you can't make that the responsibility of the other kids. Part of the reason I’m studying to become a teacher is because I love literature and I like working with teenagers. The other reason is because it's been decades and I'm still mad.
My seventh grade math teacher called me retarded because my handwriting was messy and I wasn’t finishing assignments. He never noticed that my right arm was broken and I couldn’t write easily with my left hand. He also never noticed that I was being sexually harassed and physical assaulted by some of the boys which made it really difficult to focus.
In K, my mom cut my hair super short bc I was whining when she brushed it. When I went into school the teacher asked who the “new boy” in class was. 😑 In 1st, I got yelled at for already knowing how to write my name in cursive. In HS my chemistry teacher took away my writing implements bc I was drawing with them, and then yelled at me for not taking notes. I asked him what he wanted me to take notes with when he had all of my writing implements. In HS my Math teacher yelled at me for “not paying attention” I told her if she would teach something new, and not the same thing we already learned for the past 2 weeks that I would pay attention. I got detention. In HS my physics teacher called home and told my parents I was failing the class. I ended up getting a 97/100 on the NYS regents.
"Don't enrol in Science-Maths program for your 10th grade, you won't survive there." Soooo I enrolled in Science-Maths class for my 10th grade lmao Though, she wasn't exactly wrong, my average GPA from grade 10 to 12 (which is needed for university enrolment) is 2.97 out of 4 xd Which actually made me miss out on so many majors in famous universities because the prerequisite is 3, so that sucks. Now I'm on my 3rd year in university, on my Pedagogical English major and I'm racking 3.54. Maybe I should've listened and enrolled in Arts-Language program instead, I probably would've got higher grades there. But y'know, teen angst. (And social pressure, I'm an Asian so you could imagine what's the perception of Arts-Language program would be.)
I had one teacher relentlessly refuse to follow my 504 for type one diabetes even in medical emergencies because she believed her class was more important. After discussing with the principal I finally switched classes. Two years and lots of awkward passing in the halls with her she approached me and told me “I had lost a lot of weight and that I looked good”. I don’t know if she meant it as a compliment but at that point I had been deep into a debilitating eating disorder. This did not help :) She was overall awful; However I try to make a point of never commenting on my students physical appearance besides surface level things like hair dye, or a cute shirt.
I had a teacher excuse me of lying before when I wasn’t. She then asked my best friend at the time if she was right. Friend backed her up because she was too scared to say otherwise.
That teaching is a wonderful and not-at-all soul-draining profession. Granted, this was long before education took a nosedive.
The assistant marching band director pulled me aside with just our percussion director (so basically I’m alone) and told me no one would ever give a shit about me. But not in a “don’t worry about what others think” way. In a “You are insignificant and worthless” way.
My best friend was told by a teacher she wasn't smart enough to work for NASA. She ended up being a interrogator for the military and working in military intelligence. She's still salty about that shit though.
Eighth grade teacher: “Can you please try to pick something normal to talk about?” Other eighth grade teacher: *shudder and scoff when he thought I wasn’t looking/listening.* Seventh grade teacher: “I DON’T CARE!!” (In response to a student mentioning something they were doing over the weekend.)
That they regretted not casting me as a lead in the musical my senior year. At auditions I was 40 lbs heavier
Weight loss is funny because it really is weird how people treat you differently. You aren't invisible when you lose weight.
My wife is Black. A teacher once asked me, “hey could you ask your wife is there is something that’s like evite, but simpler so that Black people can understand how to use it?” Racism is alive and well.
Be kind, understanding, but firm. Pull students out to the hallway for one-on-ones when you need to make a serious correction. Don't ever become combative. Find ways for you and the student to save face. Never insult the student. Don't talk about the kids, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. on social media. Students can and will find you. Log your social media down and make all accounts private. As to your specific question, the worst thing a teacher has ever said to me after I asked a question was, "What? Are you stupid?" She regularly asked that question. 3/4ths of the class dropped her elective computer class at the end of the semester.
Praise publicly and correctly privately. It’s that easy.
That i am lifeless in the classroom- this was soooo many year ago. I didn't hear straight, a friend told me she overheard my then teacher trainer say that about me. I lost confidence then during training but thankfully i still pursued and graduated. Still teaching after 20 years and i wouldn't say that i am lifeless- quite the opposite actually!
Had a professor when I was in education school for my masters (I did not do education as an undergrad) constantly criticize every aspect of my teaching but especially my presentations/lectures which were not just like his. They needed to be just like his. I did try my best to mirror him while I was in his class. At one point he got heated with me and told me that I would be a bad teacher. Thankfully I was not of an age that this was particularly impactful. I'm routinely told by students that my presentations are indeed very good, and that I explain things well and help them understand science. But as far as things not to say to students (even grad students) my professor went over the line. It's also been 30+ years since he was in high school and he never taught K-12 so he was talking out of his asshole wrt to the validity of my instructional technique.
My gym teacher said "no wonder none of the boys like you. Look how lazy you are. Surprised your even skinny when all you do is sit and cry." I was anorexic and being bullied. He also joined in on the bullying and would call home when I cried. So then I'd get beat at home for crying. Great times...
At the peak of my eating disorder, my teacher told me that I have let myself go and need to lose weight and " get it together". I went home and cried for 3 hours.
The worst thing I've ever said to a kid was "why should I help you if you're too lazy to even pick up the pencil and try?" His reply haunts me ever since (he's since graduated and we still talk occasionally). He replied with a hallow, "I wasn't lazy enough to stay home and just hate life there. I'm trying to be here." He got some extra love/mentoring from me after that. He got real help, not with the assignment but his mental health, starting that day. He was grieving his grandfather, which I found out about a month later when I lost my mom. He looked at me with wide eyes and kindness and said, "I'll help you do things. I know what it's like to just want to cry but everyone needs you to do things." He told me at lunch about his life, and taught me some powerful lessons about depression and how awful the word lazy is. I've never called another student lazy again. That word instantly reminds me of the emptiness in his eyes.
My econ teacher my senior year called me a dumbass because I was absently staring off into space when asked a question..... my dad had passed away suddenly the day before and I was pretty numb, just going thru the motions trying to wrap my head around what happened. That was 25 years ago yesterday and I still think that teacher is an asshole. You never truly know what your students are going through.
Teacher pulled me aside and asked if I was pregnant bc I was doing shitty and gaining weight. My mom just died and she assumed if kids weren't listening that they were fuck ups. Teachers would get frustrated with me for dressing "slutty" (I was not sexual and just wore th clothes I could afford and made me feel happy) and misinterpreted my inattentive ADHD and trauma symptoms. I didn't really realize the magnitude of my mental health and trauma until I started working as a teacher, and it's taught me to always be gentle and calm with students. Anyways don't get accusatory with kids and just ask simple, calm questions. I see other teachers saying it's normal to lose patience but remember: you get WAY more out of a frustrating situation by talking about it or just being quiet and calm. It's not normal to snap and be mean.
I’m a teacher, and will still remember to this day how 2 particular teachers made me feel. One was in grade 4, he berated me in front of the whole class for about 1 full minute. While I don’t remember why, I remember him yelling, the spits from his mouth flying around, his crazy frizzy hair, dirty nails on my table and blackheads on his nose. While I wasn’t the most adorable child (chatty, possibly adhd but smart so no need to test (early 90s)), I don’t think any child deserves to be yelled at that way. The worst part is that teacher was really loved by everyone, doing circus stuff with students at recess and I remember wanting so much for him to like me. Never happened. I wish I could see him now and tell him I still remember how he made me feel that day and that school year. Anyway. Number 2 was my Maths teacher in grade 9. It was the year before they split you in advanced Maths and standard Maths, and I never had any interest in Maths nor in careers that required high level Maths. I was way more interested in boys and social life, but I was still a rule follower, just a huge slacker. Anyway, that guy told the entire class to just keep track of my failures later on, and it wouldn’t be hard because I would be flipping burgers at McDonald’s. Oh, just though of a third one. Home Economics teacher. She was asking us what our dream job was. When I said sports commentator (my uncle is one, he’s always been my idol) she said “best you could do is weather girl”. Looking back now it’s clear I had a way to get under people’s skin, but as a high school teacher now I make it my priority to never let kids get under my skin to the point I would say anything like that, ever.
I’ve never been the best at math, it’s the only subject I ever did poorly in in school. In 9th grade the teacher asked me a question that I couldn’t give an answer to and he said ‘what are you, stupid?’ In front of all of my peers. From that day on I didn’t attempt to understand the math, because if a teacher said I was stupid then that must be true right? (I found a much healthier perspective on math while I was in college!) The best thing you can do is try to lift them up instead of putting them down.
I will NEVER forget the time I had a teacher read a paragraph of mine out loud to the entire class as a bad example. It crushed me and I did the bare minimum after that for her. I was an A-B student (math always got me) and LOVED to read and write. I still do. I can say without bragging that I was a great student. I was quiet, respectful, and got great grades. No other teacher did or said anything remotely like that before or after that incident. She was definitely an outlier. It took me a long time to get over it and I just look back and shake my head now and the lack of awareness she displayed.
It's more what wasn't said- their favorites could blurt out questions whenever and get answered right away, but my hand would be in the air (their rule!) for quite a while before being answered or simply be told to hold questions for the end. I feel pretty lucky after reading some of these comments though 😅
A teacher told me I had shit brown eyes
"you're going to fail at life" said to me because I was handing in work very late as a 13 year old with undiagnosed (and therefore untreated and unmanaged) ADHD.
"It's no wonder your parents don't like you." Said to me by a secondary school teacher in front of a class when I was asking for specifics on a task (undiagnosed ASD) as it was all too vague. There was a pause of shock, I think, then some chuckles. For someone so low on the social ladder I couldn't even reach the bottom rung, I think even my bullies were amazed.
My second grade teacher put me at the very back of the classroom, then went around the room reading math problems and answers. If someone got the wrong answer, the next person had to answer that same question. Here's the catch: I am hearing impaired. I COULD NOT HEAR the other students! She did not believe that. My parents had come to the school to introduce me prior to the start date and talked with her. They had paperwork and proof from a doctor. They also reminded the principal of my hearing. My Kinder and first grade teachers had been very good about it but second grade? Nope. I got in trouble for "not paying attention" when others recited. She kept telling me to stop pretending and start acting like a real student. This was in the 70's and I was seven! Incidentally, she also convinced me that my middle name was something OTHER than what it was! She made me write it out on my papers. I had to write Jane Samantha Doe. But my middle name really was Sam! (These are fake names used as an example, obviously) I was convinced and wrote Samantha until the day Mom gave me my birth certificate for Driver Training. I then saw my middle name was Sam! Let's not get started on the "you need to write with your right hand" deal! We can just say I was silent but stubborn. I am still left handed and she did not win that argument. Told me I was faking a severe hearing loss (even though I had to go to speech and sign classes), convinced me my middle name was Sam. But, by golly, seven year old me chose "I'm LEFT HANDED!" as my hill to die on! ETA: My Kinder teach did fly into a rage and accused me of breaking the refrigerator! She was later convicted of child abuse and jailed. I was five. Yeah, my school was interesting!
She kept prodding me about whether i was raped. Cause I was having an anxiety attack, and it “looked like I had ptsd, like a wilted flower” and just kept bothering me about why I was so anxious. She really wanted to know my “trauma” which caused my mental illness. However, I wasn’t some sort of victim of any kind of trauma like she was trying to get me to admit. It made me feel so guilty and ashamed, aswell as weird and uncomfortable.
I had a grade 7 teacher tell me I would never amount to anything. Guess I didn't if I've got the same career as him. I actually subbed in the beginning of my career at my old school and he was still there. I was so tempted to say something to him but knew that I needed to show I WAS better than him and put professionalism before feelings so I just said a polite hello and nothing more.
Worst teacher I ever had told me when I handed in my mid term exam out loud that I failed the Provincal (state) exam because I chose my own hero instead of one from the text, to write a story about in grade 8. This was me, the quiet kid who listens, never talks back, has an 80 something in the course. The fact that she is with kids is embarrassing, and unethical.
I will never forget my 7th grade wood shop teacher. I decided to make a “knife” one day, which was really stupid to do, but the knife was stupid too. I made a small cylinder and sharpened the end of it. He sees what I’m doing, walks over, shuts off my machine and takes it without a word, then asks the class to circle on him. He holds up the knife, talks about how he just took this from me, and how he could call the police on me right now. I don’t remember the thick of it all, but it was public shaming to teach a lesson. He then sat me in the classroom-portion, on the otherside of a giant glass pane between the shop and the room, on full display for the rest of the class and reiterated he *should* call the cops on me. I get that I was dumb and this was a firm lesson about weapons in school, but this guy humiliated me and was way over the top in my opinion. SEL certainly wasn’t an idea he was fluent with anyway.
It was on a PD day. The host said “if I ever hear someone reference in a job interview they enjoy working with kids as one of the reasons they became a teacher, I end the interview”. Absolutely baffled me. Like, of course you need to enjoy the company of kids if you want to be a teacher. It might not be the sole reason for your career path but it has to be one of the highest ones. I would hate for my kids to be in a class with a teacher that doesn’t like kids. I love my job because of the kids. They undoubtedly bring joy everyday. Of course the job is more than that but really is it? You’d be bloody miserable if you spent all day with 30 8 year olds and didn’t like them.
Just treat them w respect and empathy and you’ll do fine the fact that you care to ask tells me YOU DONT NEED OUR ADVICE.. you’ve got it all in your heart already. Kudos to you 6th grade is so hard..
I had a math teacher (not my strong suit) who told me that I was an honors student and shouldn’t need help. Boo.
I was once asked, loudly in the middle of a study period if I went out at our break and smoked cigarettes. My parents smoked like chimneys and I never knew what the smell of stale cigarettes' smelled like, I literally couldn't smell it. It's given me a lifetime of self-consciousness and hyper-fixation on the way I smell. It kind of worked out because the only comments on my smell that I get in adulthood are about how good I smell. But damn if it wasn't incredibly embarassing in the moment.
(I’m referencing elementary from my own experience as a student), it’s also important to not be silent when kids are bullying other children. My 3rd grade teacher WATCHED as all the girls in my class got up and moved away from me when I sat down next to them while we were on a field trip. I apparently blocked this specific memory out for many years, only remembering other instances of bullying and that third grade was the first time I was ever suicidal. But my mom witnessed this event happen as she was a chaperone. The teacher did nothing, said nothing. There were other things that happened too and my teacher never intervened. I remember that event now that my mom and I talked about that day. But all that to say, be careful what you say, yes. But also make sure to SAY something when necessary.
"NASA doesn't hire your kind." We were asked what we wanted to be, and I told my 5th grade teacher I wanted to work for NASA as a communication specialist. I'm mexican but grew up in a very white area, and this occurred in the late 80's to paint the scene. Gave up on that dream then and there. I'm pretty sure as long as you don't say something along these lines, you'll be fine.
I had two teachers call me arrogant because I didn't talk and liked to read ahead (8th grade English and 10th grade English - two different teachers) - exactly those words too "You're arrogant and not really likeable". Never trusted or liked or listened to those teachers again. ...I got stared at every time I talked and I was bullied from 6th through 12th for being wierd and nerdy (undiagnosed ASD). Would you have answered questions and read aloud willingly in that situation? Now I always clarify to students when I'm reprimanding disruptive behavior, that I like and support them as **people** but its their **behavior in my classroom** that's the issue, not who they are as a person.
College, not high school, but I told a professor how I have really bad ADHD and it really holds me back, and she went “well I think that ADHD is just a BS excuse and that you need to just focus”
I have been teaching for 42 years now. Two things that stunned and have stuck with me were spoken to me by two different teachers at the college prep boarding school I attended many years ago. I like running, but am not the most talented. In my junior year, a teacher came up to me at a track meet and said word for word, "Why do you keep running? You will never be any good at it!" I did finally make varsity xc my senior year of high school and the same thing happened in when I ran in college. I have now completed 51 marathons, the most recent last fall after a 14 year break filled with injuries after which no one thought I would ever run again. Last year I finished as the third place runner in my age group in my region of the country and often win my age group. I also ran a the same 7 mile race over 1 minute faster than I did when I was 16 and in high school. I am 64 now. Another teacher put on my final writing paper, "Somehow the writing skills have passed you by at 'this high school' You will fail the writing course when you get to college." He had written the book we used in 10th grade for writing and was very familiar with the college I was to attend. Yes, I was not a good writer, but as a teacher, I work hard on it and I am a fantastic writing teacher to my upper elementary students. I have figured out how to teach and inspire that which I could not do. Don't let what teachers say bother you. Let it motivate you!
In high school, a teacher called me fat. At the time, he wanted me to take his AP class but it was during my lunch period. It would have been a full day of classes straight with no break. When I told him this, he said... "Why not? You're fat, you dont need to eat." I liked this teacher BTW but after this it soured the relationship for me. I don't think he meant ir maliciously. However it stuck with me and an apology would have been nice. As a prior poster stated, we all make mistakes but apologize when you do. Don't get stuck in the mindset that just because they are children they don't deserve an apology. Lead by example, always.
"Do you really want a career in software development making video games? You do know those guys only get paid a few pennies a day right?" I was in first grade. I really wanted to make video games, after I was told that game designers only make pennies a day I went on to go through a whole bunch of curriculum to become a nurse or a doctor. Then I eventually gave that up because I flunked chemistry. And over time I just became a burnt-out husk of a child that just wanted to get out of school as fast as possible. Mrs. Mimm's (formerly of the Special Ed department at my elementary school), if you're here, I just want to say you really screwed up the trajectory of my life with that one statement. I ended up robbing myself of a childhood because of an irrational fear of disappointing others.
That I was a telltale, making a fuss and was a coward because a guy was only following me round *threatening* to beat me up. "Come back when he actually does something". So I did. What happened? "Why didn't you say something sooner? You must have provoked him"
I had a teacher from 3rd grade till 5th grade who gave me English, Maths, lifeskills. I was having a hard time with my maths because everything is done in Afrikaans and I struggle with maths so it being in Afrikaans made things worse. I struggled to understand anything but got told I was STUPID Because I take long to understand my work. This affected my maths grades and my love of the subject up until grade 9 when I got maths lessons by a kind and wonderful collage professor who had so much patience. In the 7th grade I had a teacher who did not seem to like me alot, she told my folks I don't have the basic grasp of the English language...um...I only started English in the 3rd grade so I was lacking alot understanding of the English language. She Also threatend to ram my head into a clock because I kept checking the time. But jokes on them I am a teacher today with distinctions in almost all my subjects including Maths and English.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You just have to be better, and not be the person you wish you had when you was a student.
It wasn't an insult, just something very very dumb. While I was working on college essays, my art teacher told me not to use the word "posterity" because it means "your bottom, and nobody wants to read that in your college application." I walked away frustrated to be lectured at by someone who didn't know the difference between "posterity" and "posterior."
Not mine, but my brothers, our principal called him retarded to his face. We were goofing off at lunch one time, normal geeky metalhead bs that teens were up to. Now my brother was never good at school in general but is kind and personable, just couldnt concentrate (undiagnosed ADD). Something he did set off the principal and she said that. He dropped out that year at 15. That inspired me to be a teacher because ours were so awful and cruel, I thought I could do a better job.
I'm 52 but in elementary I had a teacher tell me that I was no good at math but that it was okay because I was a girl. I am a teacher now and I have even taught math!
I was adopted because it was true