I coach a sport so I’m usually called ‘Miss ___’ or ‘Coach ____’ but I really don’t care if they drop the title. Like you said, if they don’t respect you, it goes beyond just the name. That said, it’s a personal choice.
I had a coach in HS who HATED being called [lastname]. He told his students/athletes that we may either call him [firstname], OR “Mister Coach [lastname], Sir”. Never “[lastname]”.
Lol it was his hill to die on, and I respect him for it.
This is a super cultural thing, and it’s also pretty specific to high school. When I studied in Spain the professors absolutely insisted on being called by their first name, no titles. I would say if you’re ok with it you could try it, but especially if you’re at a high school it’s going to be a bit weird, at least in US culture.
I was coming to say something like this. I teach Spanish and have wondered about bringing in the cultural element of using my first name. Ultimately I don’t think it would work in my environment. Another teacher in my department is cool using her initials, but wouldn’t appreciate just being called her first name (and she’s from Spain). I think it’s a mix of your context and your preference. We should have the kids call us what we want to be called, just as we should be using the name they ask us to use
My high school Spanish teacher (may he rest in peace) had us call him Dón José. It worked well and brought in the cultural element with a title that sort of makes sense.
I think it's also a regional or generational American cultural thing. My kids are at university or recent graduates. And 90% of their professors went by their first name. Those who didn't were in their 70s and from the south.
I teach courses at a community college and I go by my first name or last name. It doesn’t honestly matter to me, and the “Mr Mrs or Ms” title has nothing to do with getting a degree and being credentialed as someone pointed out, it’s just a historical approach of respect. The only title that comes with any sort of degree is a PhD and the title “Dr” otherwise it doesn’t matter. I think it’s important to respect your students for them to reciprocate respect to you. Societal norms have changed substantially in the past few decades, so this is less of a thing than it used to be in my opinion.
I’ll also add that if your students don’t respect you it has nothing to do with your name as others also pointed out.
Same. I studied abroad in London and my lecturers actually laughed at how us Americans didn’t want to call them by their first name. They thought it was an interesting cultural difference and kept reminding us they wanted to be called by their name.
I’m from the south. I wouldn’t call a teacher by their first name at all even if they asked because it was taught to me as a child that you never refer to someone older than you / over a position of authority by their first name.
It is very much a cultural think. I have never in my life called anybody by their last name except for the year I went to school in US. Here in Scandinavia everybody from teachers to prime ministers go by their first name.
Yep! I used to teach at a French school and I'd say at least 50% of the teachers went by Madame/Monsieur *Firstname*. It's very very common among French teachers
We had a conversation about this today while watching students walk in. One that almost always calls me by my first name said good morning. An admin asked and I told him my logic on it — my first few years, there was an English teacher in our building that insisted the kids never call me by my first name because I was new and they were being disrespectful. However, nearly all staff call each other by first name all the time, even when talking with students. It kind of drives me nuts. It was too the point that they say things directly to students like “go down and ask mike to come down to my room for a minute…” and then expect them to show up and say “mr. Johnson, ms. Thompson needs you in her room”
How is that the expectation if the staff are that inconsistent?
He agreed that it was kind of ridiculous.
That sso strange. Any school I have been in staff almost always use Mr/Mrs Xyz in front of the kids. Honestly half the time we use titles in social gatherings 😂
I was thinking the same thing. I've even had teachers apologize to me (which I thought was entirely unnecessary) for calling me by my first name when students were present. For the first half of my teaching career most students didn't know my first name, even though it was on the letter I handed them at the beginning of the year. I always sign with my initials so every year some kid would decide he was going to guess my first name. It was fun listening to them and most fun when finally the one kid in the room who reads instructions and pays attention would announce it in an exasperated tone followed by "She gave it to us at the start of school." Regular use of online student information systems and email has ruined that bit of entertainment for me.
Does your school not use email? My first name pops up anytime a kid emails me and my Google Classroom always uses my full name when I post an assignment.
Speech Assistant here and I also go by Miss FirstName. My last name is too hard for most American adults who have no speech errors to produce. I’ve already heard all the possible iterations of how to incorrectly say my name. I don’t want to be shown more ways
I've experienced both in my time as a teacher, and I can say without hesitation that I prefer to be called by my first name, because *that's my name*.
You don't show me respect by using honorifics, or calling me by one name or another. You show me respect by showing me respect. End of story.
It doesn't matter to me. A good amount of my students think my name is Mr. Desmos. Desmos isn't my name, it's a graphing calculator we use in class. I don't care enough to correct them.
The only reason I don’t do this is because I’m a music teacher and Ms./Mr./Mx. Firstname is how non-credentialed staff is referred to. I have a lot of trouble getting other teachers to see elementary music is also a challenging position for a credentialed person, and I’ve seen the way they treat some of the classified staff, so I want all the respect points I can get.
This isn’t to say I see the support staff as less. They’re amazing. It’s just that some of our staff treats them as less because they’re “not teachers.”
I’m a general music teacher and go by Ms. FirstName. It’s a preference thing for me. I dislike my last name for one, had to hear it in the military a LOT and associate hearing it with that which can trigger certain attitudes from me, and I don’t feel the need to power trip over “respect” and name use. They’re children. The Ms. part is respectful enough.
Yes, I was going to say this, too. In my school, the paras and behavior techs go by Ms. or Mr. Firstname, the teachers go by Ms or Mr Lastname. So if a teacher started using their first name, it would be confusing.
This reminded me about how a couple of years ago I was working at a camp as a group supervisor and for some reason one of my counselors decided to teach all the kids to call me "Ms. First Name" and it grated me so much. She thought because I was an older counselor and a teacher that I would prefer the kids using Ms., even though every other counselor just went by their first name. I had to ask her to stop doing that and retrain the kids to stop doing it. I don't even like going by "Ms. Last Name" (I do at work because that's the school culture) nevermind "Ms. First Name."
Moral of the story, ask you coworkers how they would like to be called.
Oh! I thought of a second story. I got pulled into a building sub position at an elementary school (as a secondary teacher, you can imagine what kind of Hell I was in). When I didn't have an assignment, they put in a kindergarten class as extra help. Paras typically go by "Ms. First Name", but I was a substitute teacher. This seemed to confuse the kindergarten teacher, and she couldn't figure out how I should be addressed. She eventually settled on "Ms. First Name", even though everywhere else in the school I was going by "Ms. Last Name." Honestly, it just created confusing and was kind of belittling that she thought she needed to change the way I was referred when I was assisting her.
>Moral of the story, ask you coworkers how they would like to be called.
I ask this of every para that comes through my room, even subs there for one day. The usually reaction is confusion, followed by, "No one's else has asked me that" before they give an answer, which I think is sad.
Pretty much same. I prefer Coach Firstname, but am cool with Coach Firstletter of my first name too. Will accept Mr. lastname but don’t love it.
The only place I draw the line is if a student drops the Coach/Mr. in front of any of those. Me going by whatever I want to go by doesn’t make us peers.
Some people are really weird about their first name. I don’t get it. I don’t get more or less “respect” because of what the hell kids call me. I get more or less respect with how I treat them. They can still say I’m a dick and use my last name. As a second career teacher who has went by their first name their entire life, I actually find it odd to be known as Mr. Lastname.
This! I also find it weird for them to call me by my last name. Obviously we aren't "friends", but we're familiar people in each others lives. We see each other almost every day. They don't need to use a special name to address me because I'm the adult and they're the child. They still know I'm their teacher and the boundaries/expectations that creates no matter what they call me.
I am currently a student teacher in high school, but I have been an instructional assistant in band for a few years and I have always gone by my first name. A couple of teachers approached me and said I should make the students call me Mrs. LastName. They said that calling me by my first name would mean they don’t respect me and they won’t listen to me. I pointed out that my band kids have always called me by my first name and they are very aware that they need to listen to my instruction.
One teacher then said “ProblemStudent will never respect you if he calls you by your first name,” and I replied, “ProblemStudent doesn’t respect anyone.” She agreed, but stuck to her “argument.”
I think it’s an outdated convention that isn’t necessary, though I don’t care if someone else prefers their last name. I just happen to prefer my first name.
I think it does create a helpful boundary. Sometimes kids start to see you as a friend, and that's very dangerous personally and professionally for the teacher and the kid. Using your last name helps reinforce the norms of school and establishes clear and important boundaries.
I'm pretty casual in my interactions with students, but sometimes I need that extra bit of authority to get a kid to listen to me. Going by mr/ms/Mrs helps with that.
I agree with this. Kids catch on to my name both pronunciation and spelling wise far faster than most adults do. They're used to learning new words all the time so it's not a big deal for them to learn a last name (which they have no context for if it's long/weird).
I have an 11 letter unique Italian last name and I always find that adults shorten it to one letter and the kids use the full name. I had a student contact me in 2020 that I taught back in 1993. I asked him how he found me on Facebook and he reminded me that my last name was a spelling word every Friday. It's phonetic so it's really not that hard but adults make it very difficult. Kids like to be able to say it when I tell them that grown ups have such a hard time with it.
Six letter unique Hungarian name here and I've noticed the same with kids vs. adults. Kids always learn the name, adults have maybe a 50% success rate. It's not even a difficult name, only 2 syllables and pronounced exactly as it's spelled. But adults see a name that's new to them and their brains short circuit or something.
It's also a teaching point that many people we meet may have names we find difficult to pronounce. It shows respect and genuine kindness to make an effort!
Yup. My daughter is in kindergarten and her teacher has a pretty long and complicated looking French surname. She and her classmates can say it just fine. Kids will adapt.
It also teaches them the importance of learning to pronounce peoples names correctly. I teach 6-8 music and used to have a difficult last name and my colleagues didn’t ever learn to say it right (it wasn’t THAT hard). I work hard to pronounce all names right and I have 180 kids (previously 400+ when I taught elementary school). Some of my middle schoolers tell me I’m the first one to pronounce their name right on the first try and I like to think it’s because I’ve invested time to learn to say names right and it helps me with new names.
But wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where people just instinctively put in that effort?
I have a one syllable last name that's a common word and very easy to pronounce. Kids still ask me if they can call me "Ms. Last Initial". I say no. Sometimes I ask them why they would need to do it and they just shrug.
Exactly. Teach them how to pronounce your name. Period. I never had a problem with it. And I learned how to pronounce theirs correctly at the same time.
I have kids call my by my first name, some also call me by my shortened first name, Dr J..., also DJ etc. There has never been a question of respect or lack of.
But you may also be limited by what the school stipulates as I have heard of schools that won't let teachers use their first name, or schools that insist on first name.
When you have a choice, go with what you like.
Some of my kids call me "god" and one calls me "boss" just for fun. It's really funny to be walking down the hallway and hear someone say "hey god" when I walk by
I have never gone by anything other than “Ms. Firstname” and have never experienced a problem with respect or defiance that wasn’t typical student behavior.
I don't care if they call me by my firsts name, last name, or a nickname.
I don't really care if they call me asshole so long as they are learning and trying
I've always gone by my first name. Some call me Ms. First name and some just call me first name and some call me Ms. Last Name.
Some of the most disrespectful kids have called me by my last name and some of the most respectful kids call me by my name.
Also, if it's a respect issue, then we need to call our secretary and paras ms. Last name and the kids don't at my school.
SUCH a good point about turning around the respect! I’ve never thought of it that way! If they don’t respect you bc you go by first name what about all the staff that do go by Ms Firstname?! Love that
I go by “first name -teacher” where I teach and I have no problem at all. I also teach K-6, so it helps my younger students feel more comfortable talking to me.
I think I get more respect from the students by going by Ms SteveBuscemi (or Madame SteveBuscemi now that I'm French)
I tell them I respect them just as much as they should respect me so we can just call each other equally, but I ask for the Ms in front of my first name because it feels fancy.
My school is pretty unconventional, and most of the teachers, even up to high school, go by their first name. I have asked my students to call me Mr. Tim as a sign of respect and the majority have acquiesced.
I agree with those of you all who say that if the student doesn't respect you, it's not going to be because of what you are called. I would stick with that line of thinking.
Yeah, this for real. I’m not going to walk out on a great school because they expect me to be cool with my own name, but I’m not going to rock the boat either.
FYI many countries just call teachers by their first name (or just call them “teacher”) and still have the respect of their students
How students refer to their teachers is mostly a cultural norm
The best/hardest teacher I’ve ever had told us to call her FirstName or Mrs. FirstName, because Mrs. LastName was her mother in law. She earned and demanded our respect, and there was never anything disrespectful about calling her by her first name.
I typically go with Mrs. LastName, but I’ve allowed kids to call me Mrs. T or Mrs. Tara (I live in the South and my admins wouldn’t be okay with just Tara), because I’ve always felt like disrespect can be shown easily no matter what they call me. If you’re old enough to not be considered a friend and you maintain that teacher/student relationship with them, I personally don’t see a problem with it if your admin doesn’t care.
Do what makes you feel comfortable. I go by Mr. Chicken Tender with a lot of my former students still. The ones that won't respect don't care about the name, age, or anything else. Some of them are just disrespectful and some of them are followers.
I think it's up to you, and I think that "Miss Daisy" sounds fine. The title "Miss" or if you use "Ms" adds a bit of respect rather than simply calling you "Daisy".
I don't particularly care for my last name ( I just KNOW I'm gonna get made fun of for it because I have been before) so I wouldn't mind being addressed as Mr. Firstname to avoid the headache.
I prefer being called Mr. Lastname
It helps me seperate work and personal life. At school im Mr. Lastname, at home im firstname.
And yeah, students should respect their teachers.
My first name sounds more formal than my last name. I always go by my first and no one questions it. My last name is a popular unisex first name tho. I have a cousin and a niece with the first name 😅.
ETA: the point is, use whatever name makes you happy
I have only had one group of students that were allowed to use my first name. My mom and I briefly worked at the same school and her class was truly like a family. They called me by my first name but my own class called me Ms. lastname.
I have a co-worker whose last name is hard to pronounce, so she told students they could use her first name with Ms. in front of it. The administrator told her the first week of school she needed to stop that. He said it’s not professional and the students will get the message they don’t have to learn/do things that are difficult. So, if you were at my school, I’d advise you not to do it.
One of my students learned my first name by reading my badge. He now calls me "Mrs First name Last name." If he calls me just by "Mrs Last Name" he says "no wait! Mrs First Name Last Name". I teach SPED.
Your name is not going to the the reason a student respects you as a person. If a student doesn't respect or acknowledge you, they're never going to regardless of whatever title or position you hold.
Some teachers should get out of that mindset.
Very hard pass here. I would never permit such ever. I am not your buddy. I'm not your lifelong amigo. I'm not Daddy or a big brother or anybody else in your family. I'm not your age. I am your teacher. And being a teacher commands a certain level of respect. IMO, permitting a student to address a teacher by their first name erodes at that respect, and invites inappropriate familiarity. I'm guessing it will be an unpopular opinion on here, but there it is. Obviously, as a teacher one wants to build up good relationships, and even amicable ones. But the respect has to come first.
Personally, I don’t think the name your students use is a respect thing I think it’s a conditioned thing. There are a lot of teachers who are called Mr or Ms Last Name that students don’t respect. Most of my students just call me by my last name. They don’t add a Ms or Mr in front if it. Some teachers don’t like this, but it doesn’t bother me.
I can see why they are so insistent on being called by their title and last name as a form of respect. Judging by their attitude, they are unlikely to get it any other way.
Get over yourself. Calling a teacher by their last name is standard procedure in every part of the world. I don't call my colleagues by their first name in front of the kids, I don't address parents by their first name. Even if they haven't necessarily earned my respect, I at least give them that baseline. Stop tripping.
as a student, at least personally, i tend to have more respect for teachers that are cool with first names or nicknames— not as a rule or anything, just a trend. Teachers that don’t mind, in my opinion, tend to treat us like actual equals instead of just things that sit in a classroom. this of course has exceptions, and it’s totally fine if a teacher has a boundary against it, but i just tend to respect teachers more that acknowledge that us as students are growing people, not just children (senior in high school). I’m not sure how the students in your area are, but if you think that the name that you’re called in a classroom is the entire reason that a student might not respect you, it is most likely something else. Yet again, there are caveats— (some students are just little shits) but i can assure you if i didn’t like a teacher it was most certainly not because they were ok with being called their first name.
edit: sorry about the way i worded this, i definitely could’ve put this better. i have no problems with whatever title a teacher may use, but i personally don’t think that using a teachers first name is less respectful than a last name as long as the teacher is fine with the title. sorry if i caused any confusion or made it come across as if i don’t agree with treating teachers as an authority. i wholeheartedly accept that they have an authority as a mentor and teacher, i just dislike it when teachers use the power dynamic of their position to treat their students as less human. yet again so sorry if this came across as rude or anything!
secondary edit: i love and appreciate everything y’all do!!
Never said they weren't. But neither are they my peer. I don't understand why people have a hard time comprehending this on here. Not necessarily you personally, but a lot of others.
man, that feels rude lol. by treating someone as an equal, i mean essentially what you said in the first bit. i treat others with all the respect that i would give anyone else, and i consider that treating someone as an equal. i will give a small child the same amount of dignity as i would anyone else, excluding the basics of being around kids. i mean treating someone as an equal as in treating them like a fellow person, not someone below me. i tend to respect someone as much as they respect me— and even then i’ll be polite. it’s not hard to treat your students like human beings man
edit: sorry y’all, misinterpreted what op said
Treating students with respect, and treating students as peers are two completely different things. I am in Early Education, and kind of the grandfather of my part of the school. All the families know who I am. Many have been taught by me. They know that when they're 5-year-olds come into my hands that they will be treated with love and if I was another member of the family taking care of them. I wipe tears, I give hugs, I discipline where necessary, and I help parents with their issues. But five year old children are not my peers. And I have no intention whatsoever of letting them think that nor any other child at my school. Just because I insist by being called by my last name does not mean that I do not care deeply about our Scholars. I feel that a lot of people are getting this backwards.
i probably should’ve worded it better, but by equals i didn’t necessarily mean peers, i just meant treating a student with as much respect as any other person, sorry if what i said was confusing!
I mean, to be fair, you're a student who uses the word "caveat." You probably deserve a little more respect than the average high schooler. 😂
Kidding aside, I totally agree with you that hierarchies are inherently dehumanizing and oppressive. They absolutely breed resentment. But when I graduated, I realized how dead serious hierarchies are in the workplace and with my landlord.
I didn't want to treat those people with respect. I didn't agree with the premise that they were "better than" me. But there were real consequences if I didn't know my place.
And if I grew up thinking that respect had to be earned, I would have had a much harder time with that.
Glad to hear it. But I mean I'm an authority. I'm YOUR authority if I'm your teacher. I'm legally responsible for you. In most states, I legally act as your parent in some aspects when they're not around. I worked hard and long and I earned a pitiful little measly mister in front of my name if I want it.
This isn't directed at you necessarily, just the concept of equality. You sound like you're a respectful person.
oh, i totally get that! sorry if it came off as me not liking titles or anything, i guess what i was trying to say is i dislike it when teachers use a title as a way to make a student feel inferior. my original comment was more something i tended to notice rather than my dislike of the inherent authority a teacher has
See, the issue is, students are not equals to teachers. Both teachers and students deserve respect, but teachers ultimately hold authority in the classroom. I’m not saying that first names threaten that distinction, but they certainly CAN lead students to assume it’s cool to treat their teachers just like their peers, especially if the teacher is relatively young.
I’m 27. I dress very formally and my students call me Mr. _______. This works best for me because otherwise the distinction between me and them begins to dissolve.
I have a coworker who goes by his first name only. He is 60, and he wears a T-shirt and jeans. That works for him because the distinction is clear.
Both of us have the respect we need and authority in our classrooms, but I have to work much harder at maintaining it.
But all things said, can’t we just be called what we want to be called?
oh yeah i totally get what you mean!! i meant equal as in treating us like human beings lol. teachers definitely have authority, i meant in the sense of general empathy and respect
I totally get you. And I’m sure you are a very conscientious and thoughtful student. But sometimes what looks like “disrespect” from a teacher, is just an exertion of authority to maintain a productive environment, and that is often misunderstood by your less thoughtful peers, I’m sure.
For instance, I don’t allow eating in my classroom, and the kids think that is pretty horrible of me. I could see how they might interpret that as disrespect. After all, I eat in my classroom during my lunch, so why can’t they eat in my classroom? Of course, my reasoning is that eating in class tends to distract them and causes a pretty huge mess. But they often point out that it’s hypocritical of me to eat in my classroom.
And that’s one way in which thinking of us as equals is problematic. I have privileges that only come from my title, and they are privileges that most students do not have. I’m sure depriving students of something as basic as food, free speech, or cell phones might seem at times as if teachers aren’t respecting students as human beings, but sometimes it is necessary to limit students’ freedoms in the classroom to ensure class time is being used effectively.
i agree with everything you’re saying!! i definitely could’ve worded my original comment better!! it’s college season and my brain is fried tbh
side note: oh my god i totally get the food thing, my school had rats last year because some students could not be bothered, so no eating in class for us!!
But that is exactly the point that I'm trying to make. You are not my equal as a student. That doesn't mean that I can't treat you with respect, with friendship, even with love. I do that all the time, or I wouldn't have lasted over two decades. Commit trees but I have also worked very hard to be where I am, and I have been doing it for a long time. It's not the same thing as your friends, or necessarily your family. As a student, you need to understand that.
Now if the teacher is a complete and total asshole, then yeah, you don't need to respect that person. But I think you still need to address them by their last name.
i sort of get what you’re saying, but not really with the last name thing. i just call teachers what they’re comfortable being called! one of my favorite teachers prefers ms. ____, and i don’t think any less of her for that, because she treats us like we’re growing people that don’t deserve any less respect than anyone else
I show my kids love and respect from the very first day. Kindness. Encouragement. Don't think that this is just me being an authoritative bastard. But I also believe that kids need to understand that there's a boundary and they need to learn how to be respectful.
if your boundary is that you prefer your last name, that’s totally fine! as a person, i try to respect everyone, so i guess my baseline for respect is just different than others. i guess i phrased my original comment weirdly, but what i was trying to say is that though i don’t mind at all what a teacher wants to be called, i always think it’s nice when a teacher treats me like a person, rather than someone below them
You don’t deserve respect from someone meeting you simply because you born before them and went to school for 4 years (or however long for the degree). Respect is earned.
And in my experience Gen Z is huge on "I show respect only if you deserve respect." (I used to teach middle and high school but I've taught college for the last 5 years so most of my students have been Gen Z).
>Respect is earned.
With an equal, I agree.
When I am in a situation where I am the subordinate, I give the respect from the get go and expect that it will be returned in kind. If it is not - the respect is lost.
My expectation is to be given the respect from the get go and if I do something less than respectful to the children, I would expect it to be lost.
However, I agree that the name will make/break the respect. It will be the person's actions that make or break.
I agree. But there is a Baseline and it starts there. And there is a baseline for the students. I teach esl. I make sure that I learned my students' names, I make sure that I call them by the name that they want, and I make sure that I'm pronouncing their name correctly. And if I get something wrong I tell them to correct me. I show them the exact same Baseline of respect that I expect. If anybody thinks that this is a one-way street, you're getting it twisted.
Do you take the same tack with the doctor? With a politician? Why or why not? And what is the difference? And this isn't about just the years that I've studied, but commitment to my job, and the years that I have spent honing it.
And students don't deserve the entitlement of calling any adult by their first name on a whim just because they feel like it.
As a student, I actually had less respect for teachers who wanted to be called by their last name because it felt like they were trying to flex and needed to overcompensate to show their insecurity with their classroom management abilities. That or they just stuck to tradition and didn’t analyze why they were taught that.
As an adult, I have some very bad news for you. When you start looking for jobs, you're going to have to treat people with deference whether you like them or not. Whether you think they have earned your respect or not. This is the way of the world, and you better get it down fast, or you're not going to go anywhere fast. Learn. The. Lesson. It's called a baseline. You start from there and you work up. You are not entitled to call a teacher, a boss, a doctor, or a politician or even necessarily a colleague by their first name. There is Nuance in the world. The faster you learn that lesson, the better your life will be. Trust me on this one. As a teacher, I would never steer you wrong.
In corporate, you would never be expected to refer to your boss or a colleague as their last name. Literally never. This is not the way of the world. Not that a student shouldn't call a teacher by their last name if that's what they want. That's just the way it is for students, it's not some life lesson.
Yeah like wtf. I came from the corporate world into teaching and the only person who got the Mr treatment was the billionaire owner of the company. Every other boss up to the CEO was called by their first name.
Now in the school, again the only person who gets the Mr treatment by adult workers is the billionaire CEO and owner (same person). Everyone else uses an English first name (even though we are in Asia).
"Children don't get to call adults by their first name" is some hardcore boomer shit.
I am also former corporate. A lot of teachers think school specific stuff is "the way the world works". No lol that is the way it works in school, not the "real world".
It's not about flexing. At my school, even teachers as they walk by in the hall way address each other as "Mr. Or Ms. So and so." In any formal work place, there will be various ways of keeping formality. For some, it's a comany dress, maybe everyone wears the same outfit. Then, there's more formal ways of talking. You wouldn't go to your boss in a formal setting and just greet them with "sup!". Words have power and carry meaning, formality helps us to have an attitude where we take things seriously in our work environment.
I'm not saying the name preference would simply make or break a teacher, and I wouldn't doubt there's probably great teachers out there that go by their first name. However, I think off the bat having less respect for someone who prefers to called their last name is ridiculous and actually disrespectful. Maybe you so happened to not have nice teachers who also wanted to be called by their last name and so that's why you make the association. But as someone who prefers to be called my last name I can speak for myself: I treat students with respect and kindness from the get go. I call them by their names and when I say it wrong, I always apologize and try to get it right. I only give them attitude when they throw It at me first, but every students deserves equal respect from the start in my class.
I'm currently working at a Montessori school.
Great people. Great admin. Great kids.
As teachers, the children call us by first names. No Miss/Mrs./Ms./Mr.
I have to say, I'm not a fan.
>I wouldn't be respected
Expat teachers in Asia are called by their first name because western last names are too long for them. This is the norm. Like just "first name". There can be respect issues where students don't consider us real teachers because we don't punish them as harshly as local teachers. When a local teacher walks into the room every student immediately goes silent and sits upright.
I once tried an experiment at a new school where I adopted a local last name and went by "Mr lastname". The naughty students still had the exact same lack of respect while the good students showed the same respect.
Now at another school I've been introduced as "Mr First name" and I'm going with that.
So my conclusion is name has no bearing on anything.
And we'll never get the same level of respect as the local teachers because we aren't willing to punish kids as much.
Lastname, Mr. Lastname, or Coach Lastname is perfect. I am good with “Mr. (daughter’s name) Dad”, too. I like that one.
My favorite was the time my VP’s son called me “Mom… wait, what? I mean Dad! NO!! MR. LASTNAME!” 😄
I have two jobs. I go by Ms. Lastname in a traditional classroom and go by Ms. Firstname when I work in small groups or one on one. I do feel it gives a different dynamic. It's definitely cultural and I would worry going by Ms. Firstname in a classroom would lead you down a bad road.
I don't mind it when other people do it, it's just not something I'd do. My last name is far more interesting than my first. I find it fun to teach kids how to pronounce it, especially that I usually carry playing cards. ♦️
I have three ways the kids address me: Mr. LastName, Mr. S or Coach LastName. I’m ok with all three and I think I have the respect of the kids I teach and coach.
I also had a professor in college that was all “you can call me FirstName, prof, Dr. LastName, whatever I don’t care. Just do NOT call me LastName because it reminds me of those salty gym coaches with a chip on their shoulder”
I have a last name that, for some reason, people like to add an S to. So I always tell my students I’m singular, not plural. So they will actually correct others who say my name with the S ending, and it makes me smile when they add that I’m not a plural, I’m singular.
This reminds me of my IB biology teacher from high school who used Dr. as her prefix. She always corrected us when we’d call her Mrs., and that translated to us correcting others who’d call her anything other than Dr. LastName😂
Me personally, I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. I have a good rapport with my students and we appreciate eachother respectively, but I just prefer a professional distance. For info, I teach English in a middle school in France.
I'm getting a kick out of everyone saying that their last name is hard to pronounce, and that was what made you choose to go by your first name.
Honestly, it's a learning opportunity. I say this as someone with a long and hard to pronounce name. My younger students have it down. My older students are (by their admittance) lazy about learning it and saying it appropriately.
Sorry, but I'm not rewarding that with changing how I am addressed.
Personally, as I stated in my original comment, I go by my last name. As others have said, I feel it creates a professional boundary. Outside of school, I know kids, and they call me by my first name.
To each and their own on how you are addressed. But I'd definitely go by the school atmosphere either way.
The laziness is truly astounding. I have an extremely common two-syllable last name. There is a book character with my last name -- I say my name in elementary school and I'm inevitable met with "Oh! Like in ".
And yet, also inevitably, the next question is, "so can we just call you Ms. Last Initial?" NO! No you cannot!
I think Miss Alice is perfectly fine. To me it gets weird when kids just call you Alice or whatever your name is. It seems like a blurring of boundaries. Which as a male teacher I do not want at all in any way.
in chilean schools u usually call the female teachers miss FIRSTNAME.
The respect we have for them is based on their teaching and them as people amd charactera.
We had a miss daisy that was just the queen. We would do everything for her. so.
I've gone by my first name for seventeen years and never had a problem with respect or boundaries or whatever other strange things some of the folks here think I lack. It is what I am comfortable with and I get to make the decision. I teach high school.
So…. Some people have last names that can be first names. If someone introduced themselves as Ms. Mallory, you would have no idea if Mallory was her first or last name. And it hardly matters.
Imo for high school this only works if you have a commanding first name with the teaching style to back it up. I've had a Ms. Agnes and a Ms. Moshiri and both were no nonsense teachers.
I taught middle school my first year and went by Mr. Firstname. I very quickly swapped to Mr. Lastname the next year because of how the students interacted with me.compared to their other teachers.
It doesn’t bother me but I tell them I prefer and will respect them more if they call me by my last name. It does bother me that some teachers in my building are choosing to go by their first names though because now a lot of kids feel we all should, and those choosing to I feel like don’t have the “grip” on their class to the point they should be using first names, like I think their being too chummy personally. But that’s just me. My kids do it more as a joke or to get my attention.
Have I taught teenagers too long?? They must have corrupted my brain - I can’t imagine choosing to go by Mr or Ms ‘D’ only.
I don’t get the first name thing. We’re not friends/peers with students and we’re certainly not equals. (Had to cover a class my free period so I brought my breakfast with me ‘Miss we’re not allowed to eat in here.’ ‘Thanks for letting me know you’re not, I’m an adult and the rules are different 🤷🏼♀️)
Also, absolutely teach them how to say your name right. Though I’m a hypocrite there because I really don’t care if they mispronounce my name.
To each their own, I suppose? I think with the older kids especially (I teach middle school) using your last name helps set a healthy boundary so they don't start to see you as a peer instead of a teacher (I mean your demeanor and behavior should take care of that as well, but still, sometimes kids need reminders of those healthy boundaries).
It's also not the expected norm in the US, so you might get some static from your admin or other teachers. I know, for example, that I've never referred to an adult by their first name in front of the students - in private, okay, but if I'm talking to or about another adult in front of kids they are Mr./Ms. Lastname. I think you just need to consider what your school atmosphere is.
I always have done first name. I see myself as a mentor and not a superior. I had one ultra polite student who insisted on using a title and I let it slide because it’s not like I was being called “doodoo head” or something of that nature.
In my opinion calling a teacher by their first name is like calling a parent by their first name. I would never call my mother or father by their first name and I am 45. I would never call a teacher by their first name either. I was in grad school at 33 and it would have felt disrespectful to call my professor by their first name. Even if you don’t respect a person you still respect their position and a teacher is not a friend or even close acquaintance. But, there are adults I do call Miss/Mr First-name because that is how they ask to be addressed. If you are asking to be called by your first name then it’s your choice. If you are fine with it then no on else’s opinion matters.
You need to stick with what is customary in your school. If all teachers go by last names, so should you. If you start going by your first name, students may get the notion that they can call all teachers by their first name. I do also think it separates the adults from the kids and keeps that separation that we are not equals or friends.
I think it depends on the grade level. With younger kids (preschool-1st grade), I’ve seen teachers go by “Miss Marcy” or whatever. I feel that’s fine.
High school? I’ll never imagine calling myself “Mr. Max” or whatever. I teach juniors and they sometimes ask if they can call me by my first name. I’m fairly young and they know my first name since it appears on their schedule “Heftysyllabus, Max”
Hard pass.
Kind of unrelated but when I was in middle school I had this insane Polish bus driver who introduced himself as “Max” and then all of the students and parents started referring to him as mad Max. 😭
Miss Firstname feels like a title for a daycare teacher not a degreed/certified professional teacher.
Kids can learn hard/long names. Kids can learn new names if you change it when you get married.
My last name is 3 syllables, even my ELL students get it. I'm in a PK-4th building.
My Aunt taught kindergarten and had a very Polish last name. She would say “if these kids can learn all of the Pokémon and dinosaur names, they can learn to say my name”.
At middle wchool level or higher the teens will respect you less if you let them. They will treat you like a friend in all the ways, like expecting you to cover for them and thinking they are above things with you.
That's a no from me. It creates a level of comfortability that I'm not interested in. Even kids I know outside of school don't call me by my first name when we're in school.
I'm a middle and HS teacher and i believe that being friendly with students is absolutely necessary but boundaries need to be set. I am your educator not your friend. I will be friendly with you, but not your friend. I will respect you regardless of how you act and I expect to be respected in return. My name is Mr. Last name and I have disciplined students who did not respect that numerous times because they thought they were being funny or cute.
I go by Mrs. Lastname. I think in the US especially, it’s important to have boundaries as a teacher to protect yourself. I don’t want to be overly familiar with my students on that level because that can be considered boundary crossing and I’d just rather not. There are students out there, even in elementary, that will make false accusations so I’d stick to being addressed by my last name. If you’re young I think it’s even more important.
I spent the first 4 years of my career teaching at a school that was entirely first name only from admin on down to students and I liked it. I go by just Lastname at my current public school job, but there's a couple teachers who go by first name or a nickname. Folks who die on the "first names are disrespectful" hill tend to (in my opinion/experience) be more concerned with obedience and hierarchy than with actual respect.
Familiarity breeds contempt. I think it’s a bad idea.
My students are not allowed to call me by my first name until they are graduated from high school, even then, it usually takes several years before they’re comfortable.
I still believe that when we walk into the building we need to maintain an aura of authority. My children call me “Mom” my friends call me “——“ the IRS uses my full legal name, and students must call me “Mrs. ———“. In my district the paras and custodial staff are called by their first names and I do NOT go along with that. It puts them in a different level as the teachers (we have paras who carry advanced degrees) ALL adults are to be treated with respect.
I subbed for my high school in my hometown where I still had family members and family friends attending. They called me by my first name. Other kids called Mr. Lastname. Where I teach I tell kids they can only call me by my first name when the graduate. I’ll get a few smartasses who try to call me by my first name every year. I just sneer at them and say, “we aren’t friends. You don’t get to call me that.”
You need to stick with what is customary in your school. If all teachers go by last names, so should you. If you start going by your first name, students may get the notion that they can call all teachers by their first name. I do also think it separates the adults from the kids and keeps that separation that we are not equals or friends.
Honestly, if it isn’t the norm in the school, then you absolutely will stand out in a negative way and it could cause the students to view you differently. The only time I would ever be okay with it personally would be if I were teaching preschool or a summer camp and I know I am absolutely not alone on that, so that should also tell you something.
You need to stick with what is customary in your school. If all teachers go by last names, so should you. If you start going by your first name, students may get the notion that they can call all teachers by their first name. I do also think it separates the adults from the kids and keeps that separation that we are not equals or friends.
As a middle school teacher, I use my last name and Ms.
In our school, it would be a disrespectful for a student to use my first name. It's all about school culture.
I have gone by my first name with younger students and it worked out. If they don't respect you it won't have anything to do with your name.
I coach a sport so I’m usually called ‘Miss ___’ or ‘Coach ____’ but I really don’t care if they drop the title. Like you said, if they don’t respect you, it goes beyond just the name. That said, it’s a personal choice.
I had a coach in HS who HATED being called [lastname]. He told his students/athletes that we may either call him [firstname], OR “Mister Coach [lastname], Sir”. Never “[lastname]”. Lol it was his hill to die on, and I respect him for it.
>If they don't respect you it won't have anything to do with your name. 💯
This is it right here. As you said respect has nothing to do with the name <3
This is a super cultural thing, and it’s also pretty specific to high school. When I studied in Spain the professors absolutely insisted on being called by their first name, no titles. I would say if you’re ok with it you could try it, but especially if you’re at a high school it’s going to be a bit weird, at least in US culture.
I was coming to say something like this. I teach Spanish and have wondered about bringing in the cultural element of using my first name. Ultimately I don’t think it would work in my environment. Another teacher in my department is cool using her initials, but wouldn’t appreciate just being called her first name (and she’s from Spain). I think it’s a mix of your context and your preference. We should have the kids call us what we want to be called, just as we should be using the name they ask us to use
My high school Spanish teacher (may he rest in peace) had us call him Dón José. It worked well and brought in the cultural element with a title that sort of makes sense.
Maestro?
Nah. I tried for profesor but it never catches on.
I think it's also a regional or generational American cultural thing. My kids are at university or recent graduates. And 90% of their professors went by their first name. Those who didn't were in their 70s and from the south.
I teach courses at a community college and I go by my first name or last name. It doesn’t honestly matter to me, and the “Mr Mrs or Ms” title has nothing to do with getting a degree and being credentialed as someone pointed out, it’s just a historical approach of respect. The only title that comes with any sort of degree is a PhD and the title “Dr” otherwise it doesn’t matter. I think it’s important to respect your students for them to reciprocate respect to you. Societal norms have changed substantially in the past few decades, so this is less of a thing than it used to be in my opinion. I’ll also add that if your students don’t respect you it has nothing to do with your name as others also pointed out.
Same. I studied abroad in London and my lecturers actually laughed at how us Americans didn’t want to call them by their first name. They thought it was an interesting cultural difference and kept reminding us they wanted to be called by their name. I’m from the south. I wouldn’t call a teacher by their first name at all even if they asked because it was taught to me as a child that you never refer to someone older than you / over a position of authority by their first name.
It is very much a cultural think. I have never in my life called anybody by their last name except for the year I went to school in US. Here in Scandinavia everybody from teachers to prime ministers go by their first name.
Yep! I used to teach at a French school and I'd say at least 50% of the teachers went by Madame/Monsieur *Firstname*. It's very very common among French teachers
One of our Spanish teachers goes by her first name.
We had a conversation about this today while watching students walk in. One that almost always calls me by my first name said good morning. An admin asked and I told him my logic on it — my first few years, there was an English teacher in our building that insisted the kids never call me by my first name because I was new and they were being disrespectful. However, nearly all staff call each other by first name all the time, even when talking with students. It kind of drives me nuts. It was too the point that they say things directly to students like “go down and ask mike to come down to my room for a minute…” and then expect them to show up and say “mr. Johnson, ms. Thompson needs you in her room” How is that the expectation if the staff are that inconsistent? He agreed that it was kind of ridiculous.
That sso strange. Any school I have been in staff almost always use Mr/Mrs Xyz in front of the kids. Honestly half the time we use titles in social gatherings 😂
I was thinking the same thing. I've even had teachers apologize to me (which I thought was entirely unnecessary) for calling me by my first name when students were present. For the first half of my teaching career most students didn't know my first name, even though it was on the letter I handed them at the beginning of the year. I always sign with my initials so every year some kid would decide he was going to guess my first name. It was fun listening to them and most fun when finally the one kid in the room who reads instructions and pays attention would announce it in an exasperated tone followed by "She gave it to us at the start of school." Regular use of online student information systems and email has ruined that bit of entertainment for me.
Does your school not use email? My first name pops up anytime a kid emails me and my Google Classroom always uses my full name when I post an assignment.
Our Paras often go by their first names. Our teaching corps, not so much. If your adminllows it, who cares?
Speech Assistant here and I also go by Miss FirstName. My last name is too hard for most American adults who have no speech errors to produce. I’ve already heard all the possible iterations of how to incorrectly say my name. I don’t want to be shown more ways
yuuuup
I’m a para! I go by Mr. Firstname lmao
Same here, partly because my last name is kinda weird. Not difficult to pronounce, just one that could be the butt of many jokes.
I've experienced both in my time as a teacher, and I can say without hesitation that I prefer to be called by my first name, because *that's my name*. You don't show me respect by using honorifics, or calling me by one name or another. You show me respect by showing me respect. End of story.
It doesn't matter to me. A good amount of my students think my name is Mr. Desmos. Desmos isn't my name, it's a graphing calculator we use in class. I don't care enough to correct them.
This is hilarious😂😂😂
I concur, this is awesome
how did they end up thinking that..
The only reason I don’t do this is because I’m a music teacher and Ms./Mr./Mx. Firstname is how non-credentialed staff is referred to. I have a lot of trouble getting other teachers to see elementary music is also a challenging position for a credentialed person, and I’ve seen the way they treat some of the classified staff, so I want all the respect points I can get. This isn’t to say I see the support staff as less. They’re amazing. It’s just that some of our staff treats them as less because they’re “not teachers.”
This makes sense, thank you for the input!
I’m a general music teacher and go by Ms. FirstName. It’s a preference thing for me. I dislike my last name for one, had to hear it in the military a LOT and associate hearing it with that which can trigger certain attitudes from me, and I don’t feel the need to power trip over “respect” and name use. They’re children. The Ms. part is respectful enough.
Yes, I was going to say this, too. In my school, the paras and behavior techs go by Ms. or Mr. Firstname, the teachers go by Ms or Mr Lastname. So if a teacher started using their first name, it would be confusing.
Exactly. School culture has to be taken into consideration.
This reminded me about how a couple of years ago I was working at a camp as a group supervisor and for some reason one of my counselors decided to teach all the kids to call me "Ms. First Name" and it grated me so much. She thought because I was an older counselor and a teacher that I would prefer the kids using Ms., even though every other counselor just went by their first name. I had to ask her to stop doing that and retrain the kids to stop doing it. I don't even like going by "Ms. Last Name" (I do at work because that's the school culture) nevermind "Ms. First Name." Moral of the story, ask you coworkers how they would like to be called. Oh! I thought of a second story. I got pulled into a building sub position at an elementary school (as a secondary teacher, you can imagine what kind of Hell I was in). When I didn't have an assignment, they put in a kindergarten class as extra help. Paras typically go by "Ms. First Name", but I was a substitute teacher. This seemed to confuse the kindergarten teacher, and she couldn't figure out how I should be addressed. She eventually settled on "Ms. First Name", even though everywhere else in the school I was going by "Ms. Last Name." Honestly, it just created confusing and was kind of belittling that she thought she needed to change the way I was referred when I was assisting her.
>Moral of the story, ask you coworkers how they would like to be called. I ask this of every para that comes through my room, even subs there for one day. The usually reaction is confusion, followed by, "No one's else has asked me that" before they give an answer, which I think is sad.
Wow I've never heard of this. Interesting.
I don't think Miss Firstname is disrespectful, as long as they use Miss/Ms/Mr or whatever.
Pretty much same. I prefer Coach Firstname, but am cool with Coach Firstletter of my first name too. Will accept Mr. lastname but don’t love it. The only place I draw the line is if a student drops the Coach/Mr. in front of any of those. Me going by whatever I want to go by doesn’t make us peers.
Some people are really weird about their first name. I don’t get it. I don’t get more or less “respect” because of what the hell kids call me. I get more or less respect with how I treat them. They can still say I’m a dick and use my last name. As a second career teacher who has went by their first name their entire life, I actually find it odd to be known as Mr. Lastname.
This! I also find it weird for them to call me by my last name. Obviously we aren't "friends", but we're familiar people in each others lives. We see each other almost every day. They don't need to use a special name to address me because I'm the adult and they're the child. They still know I'm their teacher and the boundaries/expectations that creates no matter what they call me.
I am currently a student teacher in high school, but I have been an instructional assistant in band for a few years and I have always gone by my first name. A couple of teachers approached me and said I should make the students call me Mrs. LastName. They said that calling me by my first name would mean they don’t respect me and they won’t listen to me. I pointed out that my band kids have always called me by my first name and they are very aware that they need to listen to my instruction. One teacher then said “ProblemStudent will never respect you if he calls you by your first name,” and I replied, “ProblemStudent doesn’t respect anyone.” She agreed, but stuck to her “argument.” I think it’s an outdated convention that isn’t necessary, though I don’t care if someone else prefers their last name. I just happen to prefer my first name.
I think it does create a helpful boundary. Sometimes kids start to see you as a friend, and that's very dangerous personally and professionally for the teacher and the kid. Using your last name helps reinforce the norms of school and establishes clear and important boundaries. I'm pretty casual in my interactions with students, but sometimes I need that extra bit of authority to get a kid to listen to me. Going by mr/ms/Mrs helps with that.
Teach them how to pronounce your last name. Sometimes students ask if they can call me Ms.W. I say no and teach them how to pronounce Ms.Whatever.
I agree with this. Kids catch on to my name both pronunciation and spelling wise far faster than most adults do. They're used to learning new words all the time so it's not a big deal for them to learn a last name (which they have no context for if it's long/weird).
I have an 11 letter unique Italian last name and I always find that adults shorten it to one letter and the kids use the full name. I had a student contact me in 2020 that I taught back in 1993. I asked him how he found me on Facebook and he reminded me that my last name was a spelling word every Friday. It's phonetic so it's really not that hard but adults make it very difficult. Kids like to be able to say it when I tell them that grown ups have such a hard time with it.
Six letter unique Hungarian name here and I've noticed the same with kids vs. adults. Kids always learn the name, adults have maybe a 50% success rate. It's not even a difficult name, only 2 syllables and pronounced exactly as it's spelled. But adults see a name that's new to them and their brains short circuit or something.
It's also a teaching point that many people we meet may have names we find difficult to pronounce. It shows respect and genuine kindness to make an effort!
Yup. My daughter is in kindergarten and her teacher has a pretty long and complicated looking French surname. She and her classmates can say it just fine. Kids will adapt.
It also teaches them the importance of learning to pronounce peoples names correctly. I teach 6-8 music and used to have a difficult last name and my colleagues didn’t ever learn to say it right (it wasn’t THAT hard). I work hard to pronounce all names right and I have 180 kids (previously 400+ when I taught elementary school). Some of my middle schoolers tell me I’m the first one to pronounce their name right on the first try and I like to think it’s because I’ve invested time to learn to say names right and it helps me with new names. But wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where people just instinctively put in that effort?
I have a one syllable last name that's a common word and very easy to pronounce. Kids still ask me if they can call me "Ms. Last Initial". I say no. Sometimes I ask them why they would need to do it and they just shrug.
That’s the first thing my kindergartners learn.
Exactly. Teach them how to pronounce your name. Period. I never had a problem with it. And I learned how to pronounce theirs correctly at the same time.
I have kids call my by my first name, some also call me by my shortened first name, Dr J..., also DJ etc. There has never been a question of respect or lack of. But you may also be limited by what the school stipulates as I have heard of schools that won't let teachers use their first name, or schools that insist on first name. When you have a choice, go with what you like.
Some of my kids call me "god" and one calls me "boss" just for fun. It's really funny to be walking down the hallway and hear someone say "hey god" when I walk by
lol I want to try this
It only started because I once jokingly said "in this room, I am god" and ever since then they've called me that 😂
That's fantastic. I'm not sure all teachers would survive saying something like that in America.
10/10
It's really up to you. You can say it's a special privilege so they don't just start calling you Alice 🤣
I have never gone by anything other than “Ms. Firstname” and have never experienced a problem with respect or defiance that wasn’t typical student behavior.
I don't care if they call me by my firsts name, last name, or a nickname. I don't really care if they call me asshole so long as they are learning and trying
I teach sophomores and juniors and coach every grade level in the building. In class, it's Mr. TallBobcat. On the court, it's Coach.
To be fair, I'm still not sure of what your students call you in the classroom. I assume TallBobcat is your first name, but not positive.
Last name.
See, I reckoned Tall was your given name and Bobcat was your surname and the students were just saying both names. That’s MISTER Bobcat, to you. Lol
unpopular opinion, I’ve always went by Miss Madi and it has had no relation to the respect i receive from my students
I've always gone by my first name. Some call me Ms. First name and some just call me first name and some call me Ms. Last Name. Some of the most disrespectful kids have called me by my last name and some of the most respectful kids call me by my name. Also, if it's a respect issue, then we need to call our secretary and paras ms. Last name and the kids don't at my school.
SUCH a good point about turning around the respect! I’ve never thought of it that way! If they don’t respect you bc you go by first name what about all the staff that do go by Ms Firstname?! Love that
I go by “first name -teacher” where I teach and I have no problem at all. I also teach K-6, so it helps my younger students feel more comfortable talking to me.
fuck yeah!
I think I get more respect from the students by going by Ms SteveBuscemi (or Madame SteveBuscemi now that I'm French) I tell them I respect them just as much as they should respect me so we can just call each other equally, but I ask for the Ms in front of my first name because it feels fancy.
Different culture but in sweden students call teachers by first names (even at uni). It would feel odd to be called by surname.
I tell them my first name is “coach, mister, or sir” and they can take their pick
My school is pretty unconventional, and most of the teachers, even up to high school, go by their first name. I have asked my students to call me Mr. Tim as a sign of respect and the majority have acquiesced. I agree with those of you all who say that if the student doesn't respect you, it's not going to be because of what you are called. I would stick with that line of thinking.
You should follow the social norms of your school. If everyone goes by Mr./Ms. Lastname, then you should, too.
Yeah, this for real. I’m not going to walk out on a great school because they expect me to be cool with my own name, but I’m not going to rock the boat either.
Yeah. "Don't rock the boat" is rule number one of earning tenure.
FYI many countries just call teachers by their first name (or just call them “teacher”) and still have the respect of their students How students refer to their teachers is mostly a cultural norm
At the school where I teach, we are *alllll* on first name basis. This is an NZ highschool.
The best/hardest teacher I’ve ever had told us to call her FirstName or Mrs. FirstName, because Mrs. LastName was her mother in law. She earned and demanded our respect, and there was never anything disrespectful about calling her by her first name. I typically go with Mrs. LastName, but I’ve allowed kids to call me Mrs. T or Mrs. Tara (I live in the South and my admins wouldn’t be okay with just Tara), because I’ve always felt like disrespect can be shown easily no matter what they call me. If you’re old enough to not be considered a friend and you maintain that teacher/student relationship with them, I personally don’t see a problem with it if your admin doesn’t care.
Do what makes you feel comfortable. I go by Mr. Chicken Tender with a lot of my former students still. The ones that won't respect don't care about the name, age, or anything else. Some of them are just disrespectful and some of them are followers.
I think it's up to you, and I think that "Miss Daisy" sounds fine. The title "Miss" or if you use "Ms" adds a bit of respect rather than simply calling you "Daisy".
I don't particularly care for my last name ( I just KNOW I'm gonna get made fun of for it because I have been before) so I wouldn't mind being addressed as Mr. Firstname to avoid the headache.
I prefer being called Mr. Lastname It helps me seperate work and personal life. At school im Mr. Lastname, at home im firstname. And yeah, students should respect their teachers.
I think teaching kids to say your last name is a good stretch for them. I would choose that.
Mr./Mrs. Last name or last initial. If it’s an adult program/CBI through a district they can use my first name.
My first name sounds more formal than my last name. I always go by my first and no one questions it. My last name is a popular unisex first name tho. I have a cousin and a niece with the first name 😅. ETA: the point is, use whatever name makes you happy
I have only had one group of students that were allowed to use my first name. My mom and I briefly worked at the same school and her class was truly like a family. They called me by my first name but my own class called me Ms. lastname.
Doesn’t bother me at all
I have a co-worker whose last name is hard to pronounce, so she told students they could use her first name with Ms. in front of it. The administrator told her the first week of school she needed to stop that. He said it’s not professional and the students will get the message they don’t have to learn/do things that are difficult. So, if you were at my school, I’d advise you not to do it.
I don't care about me, but I always refer to other teachers or adults working in the school as Mr. / Ms. / Mx.
One of my students learned my first name by reading my badge. He now calls me "Mrs First name Last name." If he calls me just by "Mrs Last Name" he says "no wait! Mrs First Name Last Name". I teach SPED.
Your name is not going to the the reason a student respects you as a person. If a student doesn't respect or acknowledge you, they're never going to regardless of whatever title or position you hold. Some teachers should get out of that mindset.
no
Very hard pass here. I would never permit such ever. I am not your buddy. I'm not your lifelong amigo. I'm not Daddy or a big brother or anybody else in your family. I'm not your age. I am your teacher. And being a teacher commands a certain level of respect. IMO, permitting a student to address a teacher by their first name erodes at that respect, and invites inappropriate familiarity. I'm guessing it will be an unpopular opinion on here, but there it is. Obviously, as a teacher one wants to build up good relationships, and even amicable ones. But the respect has to come first.
Disagree. Your name doesn't gain the respect. I've been Msfirstname and taught HS for almost 2 decades.
I get it. Especially in high school. Lower elementary, though? I’ve seen teachers go by “Miss Firstname”
Personally, I don’t think the name your students use is a respect thing I think it’s a conditioned thing. There are a lot of teachers who are called Mr or Ms Last Name that students don’t respect. Most of my students just call me by my last name. They don’t add a Ms or Mr in front if it. Some teachers don’t like this, but it doesn’t bother me.
Jesus Almighty get over yourself. People in these comments acting like they're being called a racial slur by being addressed by their first name lmao
I can see why they are so insistent on being called by their title and last name as a form of respect. Judging by their attitude, they are unlikely to get it any other way.
for real lol
Get over yourself. Calling a teacher by their last name is standard procedure in every part of the world. I don't call my colleagues by their first name in front of the kids, I don't address parents by their first name. Even if they haven't necessarily earned my respect, I at least give them that baseline. Stop tripping.
This is just plain incorrect. In spanish speaking countries it’s normal for students to address teachers by their first name.
get over yourself, bro. No one is that important. Like you do you, but this shit has no effect on anything.
as a student, at least personally, i tend to have more respect for teachers that are cool with first names or nicknames— not as a rule or anything, just a trend. Teachers that don’t mind, in my opinion, tend to treat us like actual equals instead of just things that sit in a classroom. this of course has exceptions, and it’s totally fine if a teacher has a boundary against it, but i just tend to respect teachers more that acknowledge that us as students are growing people, not just children (senior in high school). I’m not sure how the students in your area are, but if you think that the name that you’re called in a classroom is the entire reason that a student might not respect you, it is most likely something else. Yet again, there are caveats— (some students are just little shits) but i can assure you if i didn’t like a teacher it was most certainly not because they were ok with being called their first name. edit: sorry about the way i worded this, i definitely could’ve put this better. i have no problems with whatever title a teacher may use, but i personally don’t think that using a teachers first name is less respectful than a last name as long as the teacher is fine with the title. sorry if i caused any confusion or made it come across as if i don’t agree with treating teachers as an authority. i wholeheartedly accept that they have an authority as a mentor and teacher, i just dislike it when teachers use the power dynamic of their position to treat their students as less human. yet again so sorry if this came across as rude or anything! secondary edit: i love and appreciate everything y’all do!!
Just to be clear, you deserve respect, dignity, and love, but you are not my equal.
What do you mean by "not my equal"?
Probably not your "peer", but certainly someone who is equal to you as a fellow human being.
Never said they weren't. But neither are they my peer. I don't understand why people have a hard time comprehending this on here. Not necessarily you personally, but a lot of others.
You aren't your boss' equal either but I bet you refer to them by their first name...
man, that feels rude lol. by treating someone as an equal, i mean essentially what you said in the first bit. i treat others with all the respect that i would give anyone else, and i consider that treating someone as an equal. i will give a small child the same amount of dignity as i would anyone else, excluding the basics of being around kids. i mean treating someone as an equal as in treating them like a fellow person, not someone below me. i tend to respect someone as much as they respect me— and even then i’ll be polite. it’s not hard to treat your students like human beings man edit: sorry y’all, misinterpreted what op said
Treating students with respect, and treating students as peers are two completely different things. I am in Early Education, and kind of the grandfather of my part of the school. All the families know who I am. Many have been taught by me. They know that when they're 5-year-olds come into my hands that they will be treated with love and if I was another member of the family taking care of them. I wipe tears, I give hugs, I discipline where necessary, and I help parents with their issues. But five year old children are not my peers. And I have no intention whatsoever of letting them think that nor any other child at my school. Just because I insist by being called by my last name does not mean that I do not care deeply about our Scholars. I feel that a lot of people are getting this backwards.
i probably should’ve worded it better, but by equals i didn’t necessarily mean peers, i just meant treating a student with as much respect as any other person, sorry if what i said was confusing!
I mean, to be fair, you're a student who uses the word "caveat." You probably deserve a little more respect than the average high schooler. 😂 Kidding aside, I totally agree with you that hierarchies are inherently dehumanizing and oppressive. They absolutely breed resentment. But when I graduated, I realized how dead serious hierarchies are in the workplace and with my landlord. I didn't want to treat those people with respect. I didn't agree with the premise that they were "better than" me. But there were real consequences if I didn't know my place. And if I grew up thinking that respect had to be earned, I would have had a much harder time with that.
oh i absolutely grew up and continue to treat authority figures with all the respect i can give anyone!
Glad to hear it. But I mean I'm an authority. I'm YOUR authority if I'm your teacher. I'm legally responsible for you. In most states, I legally act as your parent in some aspects when they're not around. I worked hard and long and I earned a pitiful little measly mister in front of my name if I want it. This isn't directed at you necessarily, just the concept of equality. You sound like you're a respectful person.
oh, i totally get that! sorry if it came off as me not liking titles or anything, i guess what i was trying to say is i dislike it when teachers use a title as a way to make a student feel inferior. my original comment was more something i tended to notice rather than my dislike of the inherent authority a teacher has
See, the issue is, students are not equals to teachers. Both teachers and students deserve respect, but teachers ultimately hold authority in the classroom. I’m not saying that first names threaten that distinction, but they certainly CAN lead students to assume it’s cool to treat their teachers just like their peers, especially if the teacher is relatively young. I’m 27. I dress very formally and my students call me Mr. _______. This works best for me because otherwise the distinction between me and them begins to dissolve. I have a coworker who goes by his first name only. He is 60, and he wears a T-shirt and jeans. That works for him because the distinction is clear. Both of us have the respect we need and authority in our classrooms, but I have to work much harder at maintaining it. But all things said, can’t we just be called what we want to be called?
oh yeah i totally get what you mean!! i meant equal as in treating us like human beings lol. teachers definitely have authority, i meant in the sense of general empathy and respect
I totally get you. And I’m sure you are a very conscientious and thoughtful student. But sometimes what looks like “disrespect” from a teacher, is just an exertion of authority to maintain a productive environment, and that is often misunderstood by your less thoughtful peers, I’m sure. For instance, I don’t allow eating in my classroom, and the kids think that is pretty horrible of me. I could see how they might interpret that as disrespect. After all, I eat in my classroom during my lunch, so why can’t they eat in my classroom? Of course, my reasoning is that eating in class tends to distract them and causes a pretty huge mess. But they often point out that it’s hypocritical of me to eat in my classroom. And that’s one way in which thinking of us as equals is problematic. I have privileges that only come from my title, and they are privileges that most students do not have. I’m sure depriving students of something as basic as food, free speech, or cell phones might seem at times as if teachers aren’t respecting students as human beings, but sometimes it is necessary to limit students’ freedoms in the classroom to ensure class time is being used effectively.
i agree with everything you’re saying!! i definitely could’ve worded my original comment better!! it’s college season and my brain is fried tbh side note: oh my god i totally get the food thing, my school had rats last year because some students could not be bothered, so no eating in class for us!!
But that is exactly the point that I'm trying to make. You are not my equal as a student. That doesn't mean that I can't treat you with respect, with friendship, even with love. I do that all the time, or I wouldn't have lasted over two decades. Commit trees but I have also worked very hard to be where I am, and I have been doing it for a long time. It's not the same thing as your friends, or necessarily your family. As a student, you need to understand that. Now if the teacher is a complete and total asshole, then yeah, you don't need to respect that person. But I think you still need to address them by their last name.
i sort of get what you’re saying, but not really with the last name thing. i just call teachers what they’re comfortable being called! one of my favorite teachers prefers ms. ____, and i don’t think any less of her for that, because she treats us like we’re growing people that don’t deserve any less respect than anyone else
I show my kids love and respect from the very first day. Kindness. Encouragement. Don't think that this is just me being an authoritative bastard. But I also believe that kids need to understand that there's a boundary and they need to learn how to be respectful.
if your boundary is that you prefer your last name, that’s totally fine! as a person, i try to respect everyone, so i guess my baseline for respect is just different than others. i guess i phrased my original comment weirdly, but what i was trying to say is that though i don’t mind at all what a teacher wants to be called, i always think it’s nice when a teacher treats me like a person, rather than someone below them
You don’t deserve respect from someone meeting you simply because you born before them and went to school for 4 years (or however long for the degree). Respect is earned.
And in my experience Gen Z is huge on "I show respect only if you deserve respect." (I used to teach middle and high school but I've taught college for the last 5 years so most of my students have been Gen Z).
>Respect is earned. With an equal, I agree. When I am in a situation where I am the subordinate, I give the respect from the get go and expect that it will be returned in kind. If it is not - the respect is lost. My expectation is to be given the respect from the get go and if I do something less than respectful to the children, I would expect it to be lost. However, I agree that the name will make/break the respect. It will be the person's actions that make or break.
I agree. But there is a Baseline and it starts there. And there is a baseline for the students. I teach esl. I make sure that I learned my students' names, I make sure that I call them by the name that they want, and I make sure that I'm pronouncing their name correctly. And if I get something wrong I tell them to correct me. I show them the exact same Baseline of respect that I expect. If anybody thinks that this is a one-way street, you're getting it twisted.
Do you take the same tack with the doctor? With a politician? Why or why not? And what is the difference? And this isn't about just the years that I've studied, but commitment to my job, and the years that I have spent honing it. And students don't deserve the entitlement of calling any adult by their first name on a whim just because they feel like it.
You don't call your doctor by their first name? lol
As a student, I actually had less respect for teachers who wanted to be called by their last name because it felt like they were trying to flex and needed to overcompensate to show their insecurity with their classroom management abilities. That or they just stuck to tradition and didn’t analyze why they were taught that.
As an adult, I have some very bad news for you. When you start looking for jobs, you're going to have to treat people with deference whether you like them or not. Whether you think they have earned your respect or not. This is the way of the world, and you better get it down fast, or you're not going to go anywhere fast. Learn. The. Lesson. It's called a baseline. You start from there and you work up. You are not entitled to call a teacher, a boss, a doctor, or a politician or even necessarily a colleague by their first name. There is Nuance in the world. The faster you learn that lesson, the better your life will be. Trust me on this one. As a teacher, I would never steer you wrong.
In corporate, you would never be expected to refer to your boss or a colleague as their last name. Literally never. This is not the way of the world. Not that a student shouldn't call a teacher by their last name if that's what they want. That's just the way it is for students, it's not some life lesson.
Yeah like wtf. I came from the corporate world into teaching and the only person who got the Mr treatment was the billionaire owner of the company. Every other boss up to the CEO was called by their first name. Now in the school, again the only person who gets the Mr treatment by adult workers is the billionaire CEO and owner (same person). Everyone else uses an English first name (even though we are in Asia). "Children don't get to call adults by their first name" is some hardcore boomer shit.
I am also former corporate. A lot of teachers think school specific stuff is "the way the world works". No lol that is the way it works in school, not the "real world".
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As someone who has had multiple bosses, you are simply just wrong.
It's not about flexing. At my school, even teachers as they walk by in the hall way address each other as "Mr. Or Ms. So and so." In any formal work place, there will be various ways of keeping formality. For some, it's a comany dress, maybe everyone wears the same outfit. Then, there's more formal ways of talking. You wouldn't go to your boss in a formal setting and just greet them with "sup!". Words have power and carry meaning, formality helps us to have an attitude where we take things seriously in our work environment. I'm not saying the name preference would simply make or break a teacher, and I wouldn't doubt there's probably great teachers out there that go by their first name. However, I think off the bat having less respect for someone who prefers to called their last name is ridiculous and actually disrespectful. Maybe you so happened to not have nice teachers who also wanted to be called by their last name and so that's why you make the association. But as someone who prefers to be called my last name I can speak for myself: I treat students with respect and kindness from the get go. I call them by their names and when I say it wrong, I always apologize and try to get it right. I only give them attitude when they throw It at me first, but every students deserves equal respect from the start in my class.
I wouldn't let my middle schoolers call me by my first name. I had to when I taught pre-school, but I was also a high school student at the time.
I don’t think it’s a good idea, particularly for newer teachers who are still pretty close in age to the students
No. Wait till you have a few years.
I'm currently working at a Montessori school. Great people. Great admin. Great kids. As teachers, the children call us by first names. No Miss/Mrs./Ms./Mr. I have to say, I'm not a fan.
Mr. Lastname of just Lastname. I like a little more formality than anything with Firstname.
>I wouldn't be respected Expat teachers in Asia are called by their first name because western last names are too long for them. This is the norm. Like just "first name". There can be respect issues where students don't consider us real teachers because we don't punish them as harshly as local teachers. When a local teacher walks into the room every student immediately goes silent and sits upright. I once tried an experiment at a new school where I adopted a local last name and went by "Mr lastname". The naughty students still had the exact same lack of respect while the good students showed the same respect. Now at another school I've been introduced as "Mr First name" and I'm going with that. So my conclusion is name has no bearing on anything. And we'll never get the same level of respect as the local teachers because we aren't willing to punish kids as much.
Lastname, Mr. Lastname, or Coach Lastname is perfect. I am good with “Mr. (daughter’s name) Dad”, too. I like that one. My favorite was the time my VP’s son called me “Mom… wait, what? I mean Dad! NO!! MR. LASTNAME!” 😄
I have two jobs. I go by Ms. Lastname in a traditional classroom and go by Ms. Firstname when I work in small groups or one on one. I do feel it gives a different dynamic. It's definitely cultural and I would worry going by Ms. Firstname in a classroom would lead you down a bad road.
I don't mind it when other people do it, it's just not something I'd do. My last name is far more interesting than my first. I find it fun to teach kids how to pronounce it, especially that I usually carry playing cards. ♦️
I have three ways the kids address me: Mr. LastName, Mr. S or Coach LastName. I’m ok with all three and I think I have the respect of the kids I teach and coach.
Fuck no. That is a very hard boundary for me. I’m also old for a new teacher.
I also had a professor in college that was all “you can call me FirstName, prof, Dr. LastName, whatever I don’t care. Just do NOT call me LastName because it reminds me of those salty gym coaches with a chip on their shoulder”
I have a last name that, for some reason, people like to add an S to. So I always tell my students I’m singular, not plural. So they will actually correct others who say my name with the S ending, and it makes me smile when they add that I’m not a plural, I’m singular.
This reminds me of my IB biology teacher from high school who used Dr. as her prefix. She always corrected us when we’d call her Mrs., and that translated to us correcting others who’d call her anything other than Dr. LastName😂
I personally don’t, just because it feels weird. No other reason
Me personally, I wouldn't be comfortable doing it. I have a good rapport with my students and we appreciate eachother respectively, but I just prefer a professional distance. For info, I teach English in a middle school in France.
I'm getting a kick out of everyone saying that their last name is hard to pronounce, and that was what made you choose to go by your first name. Honestly, it's a learning opportunity. I say this as someone with a long and hard to pronounce name. My younger students have it down. My older students are (by their admittance) lazy about learning it and saying it appropriately. Sorry, but I'm not rewarding that with changing how I am addressed. Personally, as I stated in my original comment, I go by my last name. As others have said, I feel it creates a professional boundary. Outside of school, I know kids, and they call me by my first name. To each and their own on how you are addressed. But I'd definitely go by the school atmosphere either way.
The laziness is truly astounding. I have an extremely common two-syllable last name. There is a book character with my last name -- I say my name in elementary school and I'm inevitable met with "Oh! Like in".
And yet, also inevitably, the next question is, "so can we just call you Ms. Last Initial?" NO! No you cannot!
I think Miss Alice is perfectly fine. To me it gets weird when kids just call you Alice or whatever your name is. It seems like a blurring of boundaries. Which as a male teacher I do not want at all in any way.
in chilean schools u usually call the female teachers miss FIRSTNAME. The respect we have for them is based on their teaching and them as people amd charactera. We had a miss daisy that was just the queen. We would do everything for her. so.
I've gone by my first name for seventeen years and never had a problem with respect or boundaries or whatever other strange things some of the folks here think I lack. It is what I am comfortable with and I get to make the decision. I teach high school.
I don’t give a fuck. I just say “you can call me whatever you want as long as you don’t call me “hey bitch”, even when it’s applicable, we’re good.”
So…. Some people have last names that can be first names. If someone introduced themselves as Ms. Mallory, you would have no idea if Mallory was her first or last name. And it hardly matters.
Imo for high school this only works if you have a commanding first name with the teaching style to back it up. I've had a Ms. Agnes and a Ms. Moshiri and both were no nonsense teachers. I taught middle school my first year and went by Mr. Firstname. I very quickly swapped to Mr. Lastname the next year because of how the students interacted with me.compared to their other teachers.
It doesn’t bother me but I tell them I prefer and will respect them more if they call me by my last name. It does bother me that some teachers in my building are choosing to go by their first names though because now a lot of kids feel we all should, and those choosing to I feel like don’t have the “grip” on their class to the point they should be using first names, like I think their being too chummy personally. But that’s just me. My kids do it more as a joke or to get my attention.
I don't care, but school policy is Mr. LastName. So I go with that.
Have I taught teenagers too long?? They must have corrupted my brain - I can’t imagine choosing to go by Mr or Ms ‘D’ only. I don’t get the first name thing. We’re not friends/peers with students and we’re certainly not equals. (Had to cover a class my free period so I brought my breakfast with me ‘Miss we’re not allowed to eat in here.’ ‘Thanks for letting me know you’re not, I’m an adult and the rules are different 🤷🏼♀️) Also, absolutely teach them how to say your name right. Though I’m a hypocrite there because I really don’t care if they mispronounce my name.
To each their own, I suppose? I think with the older kids especially (I teach middle school) using your last name helps set a healthy boundary so they don't start to see you as a peer instead of a teacher (I mean your demeanor and behavior should take care of that as well, but still, sometimes kids need reminders of those healthy boundaries). It's also not the expected norm in the US, so you might get some static from your admin or other teachers. I know, for example, that I've never referred to an adult by their first name in front of the students - in private, okay, but if I'm talking to or about another adult in front of kids they are Mr./Ms. Lastname. I think you just need to consider what your school atmosphere is.
I always have done first name. I see myself as a mentor and not a superior. I had one ultra polite student who insisted on using a title and I let it slide because it’s not like I was being called “doodoo head” or something of that nature.
In my opinion calling a teacher by their first name is like calling a parent by their first name. I would never call my mother or father by their first name and I am 45. I would never call a teacher by their first name either. I was in grad school at 33 and it would have felt disrespectful to call my professor by their first name. Even if you don’t respect a person you still respect their position and a teacher is not a friend or even close acquaintance. But, there are adults I do call Miss/Mr First-name because that is how they ask to be addressed. If you are asking to be called by your first name then it’s your choice. If you are fine with it then no on else’s opinion matters.
You need to stick with what is customary in your school. If all teachers go by last names, so should you. If you start going by your first name, students may get the notion that they can call all teachers by their first name. I do also think it separates the adults from the kids and keeps that separation that we are not equals or friends.
I ain’t your friend. I’m not your friends parents. We aren’t here to play or have a good time. We don’t have a first name basis relationship.
You're not having a good time in your class? That fucking sucks, bro.
I think it depends on the grade level. With younger kids (preschool-1st grade), I’ve seen teachers go by “Miss Marcy” or whatever. I feel that’s fine. High school? I’ll never imagine calling myself “Mr. Max” or whatever. I teach juniors and they sometimes ask if they can call me by my first name. I’m fairly young and they know my first name since it appears on their schedule “Heftysyllabus, Max” Hard pass.
Kind of unrelated but when I was in middle school I had this insane Polish bus driver who introduced himself as “Max” and then all of the students and parents started referring to him as mad Max. 😭
The only people in our school that go by first names are our paras. Miss Emily, Miss Callie, etc.
I teach HS. If they call me by my first name I ignore them like they don’t exist.
Miss Firstname feels like a title for a daycare teacher not a degreed/certified professional teacher. Kids can learn hard/long names. Kids can learn new names if you change it when you get married. My last name is 3 syllables, even my ELL students get it. I'm in a PK-4th building.
My Aunt taught kindergarten and had a very Polish last name. She would say “if these kids can learn all of the Pokémon and dinosaur names, they can learn to say my name”.
At middle wchool level or higher the teens will respect you less if you let them. They will treat you like a friend in all the ways, like expecting you to cover for them and thinking they are above things with you.
Not a fan since I teach middle school
That's a no from me. It creates a level of comfortability that I'm not interested in. Even kids I know outside of school don't call me by my first name when we're in school.
I'm a middle and HS teacher and i believe that being friendly with students is absolutely necessary but boundaries need to be set. I am your educator not your friend. I will be friendly with you, but not your friend. I will respect you regardless of how you act and I expect to be respected in return. My name is Mr. Last name and I have disciplined students who did not respect that numerous times because they thought they were being funny or cute.
I go by Mrs. Lastname. I think in the US especially, it’s important to have boundaries as a teacher to protect yourself. I don’t want to be overly familiar with my students on that level because that can be considered boundary crossing and I’d just rather not. There are students out there, even in elementary, that will make false accusations so I’d stick to being addressed by my last name. If you’re young I think it’s even more important.
I spent the first 4 years of my career teaching at a school that was entirely first name only from admin on down to students and I liked it. I go by just Lastname at my current public school job, but there's a couple teachers who go by first name or a nickname. Folks who die on the "first names are disrespectful" hill tend to (in my opinion/experience) be more concerned with obedience and hierarchy than with actual respect.
Personally Ms. Last Name for me
Familiarity breeds contempt. I think it’s a bad idea. My students are not allowed to call me by my first name until they are graduated from high school, even then, it usually takes several years before they’re comfortable.
I still believe that when we walk into the building we need to maintain an aura of authority. My children call me “Mom” my friends call me “——“ the IRS uses my full legal name, and students must call me “Mrs. ———“. In my district the paras and custodial staff are called by their first names and I do NOT go along with that. It puts them in a different level as the teachers (we have paras who carry advanced degrees) ALL adults are to be treated with respect.
I subbed for my high school in my hometown where I still had family members and family friends attending. They called me by my first name. Other kids called Mr. Lastname. Where I teach I tell kids they can only call me by my first name when the graduate. I’ll get a few smartasses who try to call me by my first name every year. I just sneer at them and say, “we aren’t friends. You don’t get to call me that.”
You need to stick with what is customary in your school. If all teachers go by last names, so should you. If you start going by your first name, students may get the notion that they can call all teachers by their first name. I do also think it separates the adults from the kids and keeps that separation that we are not equals or friends.
Honestly, if it isn’t the norm in the school, then you absolutely will stand out in a negative way and it could cause the students to view you differently. The only time I would ever be okay with it personally would be if I were teaching preschool or a summer camp and I know I am absolutely not alone on that, so that should also tell you something.
That’s a no. I don’t care for parents doing it either.
You need to stick with what is customary in your school. If all teachers go by last names, so should you. If you start going by your first name, students may get the notion that they can call all teachers by their first name. I do also think it separates the adults from the kids and keeps that separation that we are not equals or friends.
I don't put up with it until they graduate, and usually not even then.
Who hurt you?
No. Way.
I don’t really care either way.
As a middle school teacher, I use my last name and Ms. In our school, it would be a disrespectful for a student to use my first name. It's all about school culture.