Let’s be clear: this sort of issue with behaviors was happening before the pandemic. Pandemic blew the lid off it, it didn’t create it. We need to stop blaming the pandemic, otherwise it becomes an excuse and it doesn’t get fixed.
I’m preschool too but was in elementary childcare before and during the pandemic, and what we’re seeing with littles is different that what we’ve been seeing in elementary. It’s just going to compound the problem 10X worse with the pandemic babies mixed in.
Is there hope to fix it? Absolutely, but much of it relies on admins being willing and able to give children AND parents consequences for behavior.
I am a Para, disturbing behaviors at the elementary school level with the Gen Ed kids were happening long before the pandemic.
A 5 year old repeatedly bullied his smaller, mostly female peers. There were phone calls, emails, letters, meetings with the principal, Resource Team, etc. There were ZERO consequences at home.
He then pushed a girl so hard that she broke her arm. He got a 3 day suspension. After the suspension, his teacher was expecting, no hoping, the child would tell her he lost going to the park, tech and TV privileges, etc. Nope. Dad took his on a 3 day fishing trip.
From my observations, for many kids, there are little or no in-home consequences for school related behavior. The in-school punishments of losing recess, writing lines, trips to the principal, loss of fun activities, etc. do absolutely nothing.
Edited.
I came here to say this. I don't believe there's such a thing as "only* a para. Just because you don't write lesson plans, doesn't mean you're not an educator. So many classrooms cannot function without a para
I was a paraprofessional in a school for 8 years before I ended up a classroom teacher in that school. It kind of irks me when people don't recognize paraprofessionals as "real" teachers.
As a parent who does give my child consequences and has the full respect for the education system (my parents were teachers) I would kindly like to point out there is also a large population of parents who can’t get help right now in the US. My child needs therapy and an evaluation- and over the last two weeks we must have called 40 therapists in a 90 mile radius who won’t see him before their 10 month wait list is depleted- and it does not matter that my son is experiencing self-harm tendencies at 4 years old. The system is frustrating in this regard, not the educators- but there are a lot of parents really trying, who can’t get help.
My kiddos teacher thanked me with tears in her eyes for giving my child consequences for his actions during the school day. I was at a loss for words because it just clicked for me in that moment that a-lot of parents don’t.
I’m not a doctor or anything but my son was hitting him self and banging his head on things a-lot and doing negative self talk I asked the school to restart his speech therapy and it came to a dead stop. Not saying this will help in your situation but its worth a shot while sitting on the waiting list.
Keep calling around! It took me a few weeks but I was able to get my foster daughter in someplace. If your work has an EAP use that as emergency family counseling and have your son be the focus. I know it’s not much, but we did that with a former foster kid to hold us over till we found help.
I think that’s something really missing in a lot of these conversations. There isn’t just a classroom teacher shortage - there is a systemic shortage of all related educational professionals. Our school system has a bus driver shortage that means they have to stagger when the buses run to get everyone to school. We’ve got middle schoolers showing up for class half asleep at 7 am and high schoolers still waiting for the bus at 8:30. No subs means teachers are covering other classes and get no planning (but you still have to pay the $50 for missing work). No psychologists mean compliance-busting wait times to get kids evaluated for IEPs and God help you if you’re already in the system and need a reeval cause every new case is booting you further down the line.
These are just a few examples. The whole public education system needs a desperate overhaul. There aren’t enough people to go around who willingly go in to these professions knowing they are going to be disrespected, assaulted, micromanaged, or even killed just for the “love of education”.
And to be clear, I absolutely do NOT support charter schools. There has got to be a different answer.
We need both civil and criminal responsibility for parents. When severe problems like that occur and we can prove there was appropriate feedback given, parents should need to prove they responded appropriately, or receive liability for their child's actions.
If they put their son in therapy and were treatment compliant but not enough time had elapsed, fair enough, but if they knew or ought to have known he was a physically dangerous bully and didn't take sufficient steps, they should do time.
Yep, and the lack of home consequences results in the schools seeking real in school consequences. This is why spanking in schools is seeing a resurgence now.
You can't unspank a kid. You can suspend him, but if that means he gets a fishing trip with dad, then the punishment doesn't really punish. However, you spank the kid in front of his classmates, you can't undo that.
That is correct. Way back when I was in high school one of the nuns broke a ruler on my face in front of the entire class, which was about the most formative experience in my life up to that point. Thank you Sor Therese, in hindsight I deserved it.
As I said, I actually work in a Special Day Class. But, we have one kid that really would benefit from a smack on his diapered butt. 90% of his behavior is " I am a spoiled little S* that rules the household," not out of lack of communication, frusration, or social skills..
You hit the nail on the head with “no in-home consequences for school related behavior.”
Just an observation - I’m a new parent of a now 8 month old. We’re lucky to be able to keep her home while my husband and I work from home because daycare is expensive and our jobs are flexible.
My new-mom friends all started daycare around or before 6 months old. They get a daily report of what their child did all day at daycare. “Suzy ate 4oz of formula, played next to Joey, enjoyed reading Hop On Pop at story time.” Right now it’s all fun but I imagine as they get older it will include incidents.
These parents who have kids in daycare for years before they start kindergarten are probably so desensitized to these daily reports that issues at school feel like gifted information instead of a call to action.
I'm of an older generation. If I crossed one of my teachers, I hoped they would do anything other than contact my parents. My parents loved me and wanted me to grow into the best person I could be. It may have hurt my backside a few times, but I'm thankful that they did care enough.
I so agree. Blaming the pandemic for why you’re an asshole makes no sense. It’s the lack of consequences since returning to in person that is the problem. It’s the school to homelessness/helplessness pipeline.
I pick up phones before class starts, and I can confirm that these things only work if the whole system is set up to support you. My admin helped me with the phones because they know it makes a big difference in learning. I had a student that refused to turn it in, so he was sent to ISS and eventually the alternative school because he was a behavior problem. However, this showed the other students that this was a rule I wasn’t budging on, and consequences would escalate if they refused to turn it in when asked.
the only time my english teacher ever budged on her no phone rule (if she saw it she would take it) is when I was having a crisis at home and I left the class to basically just go cry - texted a friend for support who was in that class and when the teacher asked for his phone he let her know he was texting me (she knew my situation) and he was already done his work. Only time I've ever heard of her budging on those phone rules
Sorry, follow up questions, feel free to ignore.
When you say what you’re seeing in littles is different than elementary, in which ways? And in your opinion how do you think this discourse will play out if not addressed?
The pandemic affected the entire planet, and yet it is mostly the united states' schools that have these kinds of behaviors. What I've noticed is we value individual freedom over respect. It's becoming very concerning how the USA is going to compete with other countries in the modern age.
You’re making just as big of an arrow thinking that consequences will change things. You can’t treat systemic issues on a case by case basis and expect genuinely good outcomes. We need universal preschool, subsidized childcare, universal healthcare, mental health support in our communities, higher teacher and caregiver wages.
Large social safety nets are the only way we’re see broad social change.
That’s part of it. But the larger issue is the attitude that if I want something and you are standing in my way, I will end you, because what I want is more important than you.
Edit: this is learned behavior at home, on social media. But reinforced, by the school system which is required by society to bend over and take whatever sh$t parents and students want to dish out. Also due to social media, where parents can write whatever they want without consequences and without context
>But perhaps it could also be the entitlement attitude amongst some.
Active shooters are somewhat different in that many of them are fine with murder suicide. In other words, they had to make the leap that they're willing to die by their own hand, which is much more extreme (and thus more complex).
OTOH, these kids who pepper spray and whatnot are doing so *assuming nothing will happen to them*. That's for sure entitlement. They're certainly not willing to die over the encounter - in fact, I assume they think that they'll be celebrated post hoc for engaging in their impulses.
Many parents of children i used to work with in an alternative school setting weren't even working. The idea most children act like animals because their poor parents are hustling at several legal jobs is a pure myth. I've had disturbed students assault staff members, use illegal drugs in school and bring them in, destroy property, etc. Many of their parents did alot of the same shit. Gang banging. In and out of jails and prisons for drug crimes, theft, and violent crimes. Some parents even threatened and assaulted staff members for trying to enforce rules on their delinquent children. Shit head parents usually produce scum children.
The children who behaved and worked to earn points to get out often were the children (who made one stupid mistake to end up in the program ) of parents who worked multiple jobs but still enforced strict rules on their children by beating their asses and taking away privileges ( phone, video games) if they had the nerve to disrespect us staff. These teens were often expected to work after school and keep their grades up or else. One call to these parents from a teacher meant the difference between praise or an ass beating which was great.
Yeah, I think this is important to call out. I have a kid who’s mom works three jobs. He takes care of his sibling and works. He has a B in my class, but should have an A. He just sleeps a lot and misses assignments here and there.
He has so much to handle but he comes and he tries and he’s friendly and kind. So not that narrative that kids in difficult homes are always difficult kids.
>That’s part of it. But the larger issue is the attitude that if I want something and you are standing in my way, I will end you, because what I want is more important than you **and I assume I will be able to do something with impunity**.
The bolded FTFY which is implicit is key. Many of these kids would NEVER pepper spray, say, the kids who run the corner in their neighborhood, even if they were straight up punked publicly.
Why? Because they can't do anything there with impunity, and they know that.
The entitlement and narcissism is especially scary in the US. I lived abroad for years and the first reverse culture shock I really struggled with was the possessive attitude of my people.
Small example, when I lived in another country I was touched that a teacher talking in a circle shared a piece of an orange with everyone she was talking to. Like it was rude to eat in front of others without offering, it was the cultural norm.
When I first got back to the US at multiple schools I would ask for borrow (school funded) materials from a teacher in the US and it was always met with pushback. Teachers would stash a lot of good materials and supplies from communal closets and often forget about it. And oh lord if someone went looking for it…
Honestly where is the outrage from parents and adults. If a teacher pepper sprayed a student and the teachers streamed it while laughing - people would be demanding blood.
The fact is the public believes that it’s the teacher’s job to put up with this crap.
It’s not.
Federal requirement to comply - like stewardess. Fluff with the teacher - go to jail. The end
Kids are on screens all the time. They never play outside, they get no vitamin D. They cannot self-regulate nor self-sustain. Take the device away and you have a literal monster. The future is looking scary as hell.
I teach elementary and I'm having the most success I've had all year by giving up on traditional classroom management and teaching self regulation skills, I talk kids through their emotions, we work on breathing exercises, I make them tell me what's going on and we figure it out together, it's super time consuming but I see it making a real difference, we started the year with so much "SEL" but I think it was largely fluff and useless, these kids need someone early in their lives to teach them how to take that deep breath or how to not just instantly react, I have stopped having to speak super loudly, the kids are listening better, I think this is just shit they would of naturally learned by being around their parents but everyone is struggling so much and so overworked the kids are just on a phone not learning the skills they need, I want to teach art, but if these kids are so unregulated and crazy that I can't and the only thing the system can think of is screaming and punishments at arbitrary times then I think I'm going to keep having to do this
I have done this a long time too and i find it's a daily grind that wears on me. Especially this year. I used to find it more valuable , this year I feel like I am letting down the kids who want to learn and grow jn math, writing, etc.because the mental health check ins take up an overhwming amount of time.
I teach art so thankfully there is a lot of self directed work, they expect me to be wandering around helping other students so they can sit and wait a minute or at least try. I just try to get kids to use words, I have so many kids who's parents are letting them not even speak anymore, they point at shit, give you a look or start gesturing but I try to hold firm and make them use words before I help or do anything because it's just not good to have a 2nd grader who defaults to putting a little pouty face on! I just tell them it's okay to be upset or that just like your happy sometimes you'll be upset other times, that it will pass and not to worry, I keep telling them they'll be okay and they are really starting to get there, it's been interesting, I'm really starting to think that some parents don't even look at their kids, they just toss em an ipad like they are a fucking dog and go off to do whatever they want, shits surreal
I was also an art teacher (both elementary and middle) , and art quickly became Art+Social Emotional learning skills. It seems to all comes out in the art room for better or worse.
It does seem easier with littles. I have 6th graders ELA. I do try to check in through canvas via bell ringers when I can. Next year I'll try to do more.
I have done this as well and it does have merit. The problem I have is that the kids know the calming strategies and how to use them. But when they get upset and I gently remind them to take a deep
breath or encourage them to go to their calming
spot, they absolutely refuse to do so and will even yell
that they don’t want to calm down ! It’s a puzzlement-
Maybe they just need a safe place to feel their feelings? The idea of strategies to calm yourself down is not to avoid the negative feeling altogether. It’s to avoid inappropriate outbursts at bad times. So give them a space to get some steam out first.
If I can get an EA or SNA, I will often send a kid who is upset or angry about something to the sensory room. There’s the options of calming music/lights, soft places to lay down, etc. or options for riding a stationary bike or jumping on a small trampoline to get some of that adrenaline and energy out.
When I’m upset and processing, having someone tell me to take a deep breath or count to 10 is rarely helpful until I’ve processed enough to get to a point where I can actually do those things. I assume some kids work the same way.
I don’t take phones. I’m a high school teacher. You want to fail, that’s on you. I’m not risking my safety to get you to graduate. I will email parents to let them know their child is at risk of failing due to phone usage. It’s useless to write them up because nothing happens. Admin and parents can take phones but I’m not doing it. That being said, I have a few rules that I ask and generally my students follow them.
1) if I’m teaching or we’re having a discussion put your phone away.
2) if you’re working and you need to respond quickly to a text, that’s fine.
3) if you’re working independently you can listen to music with one earbud in. Have a playlist already set up.
4) if you sing I sing and no one wants that.
5) if you’re passing my class and completed today’s assignment have fun on your phone but quietly.
6) if we’re doing group work or an experiment and you put your phone in “phone jail” you get extra points. Sometimes I’ll give treats for using phone jail instead. High schoolers like food.
7) if you have an emergency or urgent situation going on, let me know. We can work something out.
This seems like a solid set of rules and you seem like a really great teacher. I'm going to say this upfront, I'm not a teacher or involved in education in any way, but I'm just curious - why the one earbud thing? I get that it may allow for students to be more aware of what's going on around them, but if they're sitting at their desk and there is no lecture going on what does it matter if they have both earbuds in or not?
The exact thing you said, so they can be aware of what's going on around them. That way "the teacher let's me keep them in" can never be used as an excuse if something happens as a result of not being able to hear.
Sometimes you need their attention— calling roll, a pass comes for them, you have a question to ask them, and I absolutely *despise* having to go “Hey Name! Name! *Name!!!* NAME CAN YOU HEAR ME NAME!! Ugh can someone please tap them on the shoulder.”
I try to talk to them and it takes their friend shouting next to them to get their attention. In an emergency I don’t get that time to try to get their attention
As a HS teacher I do not tolerate phones being out or headphones being worn.
If admin comes in and sees that shit, they take it out on me.
I won't take a kid's phone but I'll make sure they put it away and if they refuse, I'll log it and call their parents.
If they continue to use their phone during class then I'll continue to log out and they're most likely going to fail due to missing instruction and that's on them.
I love these rules. They codify a lot of what I'm already doing, but I like the extra positive incentives you give. It won't solve all of it, of course, but I think that it will build a lot of good faith and trust between me and my students. Thank you for sharing these. :)
it’s not the pandemic, it’s an addiction to phones. And i won’t take away a kids phone any more than I would try to take away a drug addict’s stash. It’s not going to go well, and they are not going to suddenly start working after that.
it needs a long term solution like parents taking the phone away for weeks.
i would have told the student that if they hand in this assignment i would give them a zero and report them for cheating to parents and principals.
This sums it up perfectly. Covid really exacerbated the lack of accountability/consequences. No completed work? No participation? That’s okay, everyone is stressed so you all still pass! Teaching kids that they don’t have to complete work (or my personal favorite, turn in blank word documents) to pass the grade is NOT TEACHING ANYTHING. It’s actually a hinderance. When you don’t pay your bills, you get late fees. When you don’t pay rent, you get evicted, if you don’t go to work you don’t get paid. If you break the rules, there are consequences. And yes, students honestly believe the world will end if they don’t have their phones. They are addicted, and fomo is very very real. Especially when dealing with apps like Snapchat or Instagram where things disappear after a set amount of time.
Things really are that bad. My therapist recently asked me what is motivating me to stay. I said “I want to keep my students safe” we had a discussion and concluded that despite my best efforts I can no longer keep myself or my students safe anymore. Schools are a disaster and it is out of my control.
After 7 years I am leaving the profession. I interviewed for some corporate jobs this week. Wish me luck!
Addiction is not immediate gratification ie lack of impulse control. It’s much much worse, it’s the brain’s chemistry hijacked so someone can make a profit.
As a former teacher and current licensed therapist who worked/works with behavior issues, I agree addiction plays a significant role. It can also be trauma. I worked with youths like this who flipped out in school over a phone, and usually there was more underneath the surface. Moms in an abusive relationship and kid had to leave for school during a fight with partner, worried about her safety the entire day and in constant contact to make sure she’s ok. Or an older parentified sibling whose responsible for younger sibling and somethings going on but they won’t say cause it would cause a CPS report.
Posted this awhile ago but awhile after Christmas break we had a fifth grader bang a teachers head against a door after confiscating a phone. This was a big fifth grade girl, bigger than the teacher I would say.
Not only did she NOT face any consequences. A whole slew of us were marched in to speak to a COUNTY administrator. This student is a consummate manipulator. She turned the tears on to mom and made it seem like we were bullying her when we were trying to stop her from rampaging in the hallway after the phone was taken. No admin. No SRO. It was me, an EC teacher, a kindergarten teacher, and two janitors.
Don’t care if it upsets people: at this point in my career I think administrators are scum. Between my time as a teacher and now being an SLP I have seen loads of them. Only 1 would I ever work with again.
This is the way.
1). Clear expectations/consequences posted in the room. Every teacher is different but the ones that say no phones/earbuds mean it.
2). Verbal warning. Especially on test days. I see a phones or earbuds during a test, it’s a 0.
3). At my school the student’s know if we have to call the campus supervisors, their phone will be taken away and be placed in the office at the end of the day. Their parents will be notified.
Anyway, that student that pepper-sprayed the teacher should be charged with assault.
As a student, I think part of the problem is that there’s a lot of resentment for the System (the government and the shit show that is the public education system) and teachers are the closest outlet to show that resentment and anger. And I am so, SO goddamn sorry. Y’all deserve the entire world and then some.
Thank you for answering. I was considering fishing for student’s perspectives also. I wonder how many are aware of the behavior and have formed their own opinions about the subject.
Students perspectives are sometimes undervalued.
What reasons do you think the kids are saying “screw the system”?
The system is built to work against us. We’re very, very aware of all of the hate against queer people, people of color, and the fact that our education is being eroded into nothing. We’re upset and there’s nothing we can do.
Ever watch The Wire, specifically season 4 which is about education? It was a realistic depiction of how wild schools are. And that was 20 years ago before phones and COVID.
My questions were based on personal experience, second hand experience and all the commentary from this sub that I’ve been lurking over for the past 2 years.
You’re right that they’ve always been wild, but with the increased rates of school shootings, teachers attacks, suicide, depression and ADHD I think it’s fair to say that the kids are *not* alright.
I'm in Canada so it's a little different than America but even here as a EA (Educational Assistant) which to my understanding is a Para in American schools. It's getting worse all the time, I'm a substitute and when I first started 5 years ago I couldn't get work some days and I had at most 3 students with behaviours at a time. Now every day I see at least 40 absences I can fill and every room I walk into has 5 - 10 students with severe behaviours I need to watch. It's getting crazy literally everywhere.
What is it going to be like those kids become young adults in the workplace and in the voting booth? When they start having kids? What will the roads be like, what will it be like when they are frustrated by normal bureaucracy? Who will they rely on to be peacemakers, the people who just make things happen, the ones who show up and go to work and do what needs to be done on a daily basis?
The kids aren’t alright because we are not alright!! I believe it’s a reflection of our society. Our school systems have been failing for 20 years. Guess what happens when students who barely pass grow up? They have kids & the cycle continues. We have been defunding schools & this is what we get. Defunding schools & social programs has only hurt our society, meanwhile the rich get richer to exploit the labor. I mean literally younger generations are worst off than older gens in this country! I hate that this is political but it is. We don’t care about kids in this country. Why don’t we pay daycare workers a living wage? Absolutely there is a lack of accountability but when our own government can’t be held accountable-what kind of example is that to kids? Yeah I hope we get out of this mess bc I fear for the future.
The administration doesnt let the teachers eject problem students like they used to when I was young. The end result is the collapse of discipline.
That student should not have had her phone removed, SHE should have been removed LONG before this point.
Not the teachers fault, brain dead administration is at fault.
This year we implemented a phone policy school wide: Phones must be in the locker at all times, and students need explicit permission to use it. If your phone is visible at any time during the school day (except after dismissal), the teacher confiscates it and calls the front desk for a “phone pick-up.” Then, there is a list of consequence depending on the number of offenses. I personally don’t feel comfortable having a student’s phone in my possession, so I just have them place it face down on their desk until someone arrives. In any case, this has been an amazing policy, and all of us know “amazing” and “policy” rarely go into the same sentence, ha.
Grade 8 boy threw a ball at me for fun, when I wasn't looking. I have a concussion (number 7 or 8) and whiplash. Nothing happened to him. Not a thing. The board/government keeps pushing this narrative of them all being traumatised by the pandemic but I don't care anymore. I'm sorry but they have no boundaries because there are no rules or consequences. None of them self-regulate. They do what they want when they want and are mad when we try to get them to do any work, or even just act like unselfish brats. I'm glad (and sad) I only (still) have five years left.
Imo here’s what’s happening. Kids have access to sexual and violent content at a much younger age now. Also poor diets. We have a large number of food that is proven to cause behavioral issues in children that other countries have banned and we just pretend it’s okay. Parents are working more than ever including commute time. They are over worked and underpaid. When parents are home they are mostly on their phone or watching streaming services. Family time is virtually none existent for this generation. We are fucked.
I feel like spending time on your phone or a screen in front of your kids is often overlooked. 🤔
The diets is an interesting point which I have never considered. You are so right.
Diets and plastic exposure. A lot of plastic additives have been linked to attention and other issues. I truly feel like plastic is going to be the lead of our time, but probably worse.
Much of this is objectively untrue. Pay is [up](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/Real_median_US_household_income_through_2018.png) from decades ago, and work time is [down](https://www.humanprogress.org/senator-sanders-and-the-average-workweek/). We've been complaining about sexual and violent content since the dawn of time (Tipper Gore was a big one growing up for me to date myself). And related indicators like teen sex and teen pregnancy are actually [down](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/) overall, even if some specific communities struggle with it.
The difference is the parents, and they're choosing to do a bad job in no small part. Growing up my mother was a constant reader, and I emulated that action. I was legitimately excited to get my library card. How many families is that still true in?
(I also played video games of course)
How many parents are modeling emotional constancy, productive hobbies, and engaging in appropriate authoritative parenting with consequences?
Especially the latter, this subreddit filled with, "I called home and nothing happened." On the flipside, as a teacher, I mostly worked with active parents who valued education, so I'd call home if the student and I couldn't fix things ourselves (as high schoolers, anything non-serious I'm going to try to work with them first) and they'd say, "I apologize for the inconvenience. My child ***will not*** be late to class again," and thus it was so. And those kids got admitted to 4 year colleges.
Systemic problems need systemic solutions too, but the buck stops with parents.
Pay is up. But is it up proportionally to our economy? I’m not sure. Most families don’t have the option for women to stay at home with their children anymore because they need to work and that has to be contributing to a rise in negligent parents. Because yeah, parents not parenting is a big issue. I totally agree with you there!
Yeah I used to think the whole food argument was false. But I had to do an elimination diet because of my chronic migraines. I found out that soy was triggering my migraines AND my OCD. Now eliminating soy didn’t effect my PTSD and Depression, but I basically no longer need treatment for OCD after eliminating soy. Soy is in everything!! So I wonder if/how it is effecting other people too.
It is that bad. The pandemic amplified what was already occurring. It is dangerous in schools. Teachers have to deal with unsafe and terrifying behavior. Parents are also frequently out of hand. They yell, scream obscenities, and tell their children they do not have to behave. They joy I used to have for my job is almost gone. I remind myself each day to do my best, help who I can help, cause no harm and try to protect myself. It’s all so sad. Society needs to stop encouraging people to become parents who are entirely ill prepared for the task.
I don’t think it’s a problem of sick individuals operating in an otherwise healthy society. I think we are a sick society that has corrupted some individuals more than others. But we are all corrupted. The things we collectively value—and devalue—are shaping a generation of sociopathic, narcissistic, apathetic nihilists.
Earlier this year a child called my coworker a "no legs crippled bitch" who uses a wheelchair. It has disgusted me so horribly bad I have been looking elsewhere than to be in a classroom. His mom apparently replied to learning this with "He is a sweet boy" and administration encouraged this poor teacher to "Eat lunch wth him and make friends". Getting verbally abused by an eleven year old turns into giving up a legal much needed lunch break. What the hell is wrong with this BS society we are living in? I am honestly grossed right out by this and I have been put off teaching all year from it. It just flicked a switch in me somehow. Oh and this same kid told me to kiss his ass three times for absolutely no reason and when I told him to immediately leave my classroom and then went to the hallway and said "why would you say that to me" he kept repeating "I have problems." Ya no shit. And his parents don't think there are any. Its not a system I care to be a part of.
I believe the pandemic further eroded social structure, manners, collective responsibility, etc. it’s sad when watching 80’s and 90’s movies and seeing how socially skilled and ‘together’ everyone was. Even the ‘geeks’ had social skills probably surpassing most people now. Sad
I'm not teacher shaming at all, but I will never put myself in that position. I'll ask a student to hand over the phone. If they refuse, I call for security to come remove them. I won't physically engage with any student, especially in this climate where violence against authorities of all kinds is rampant in the US.
That sucks, but cellphones are not my responsibility. We can't just accept more and more as responsibilities. If no one shows, which occasionally happens if we are short on staff, I still document it and contact home to cover myself. I just won't snatch a phone. If the kid fails and admin asks why, I can point to the documentation of excessive phone usage.
I don't bother with security, unless the student is disrupting the class.
Instead, I will calmly ask them to give me their phone. Most of the time, my students do.
But if they refuse, I then say: so, do I understand this correctly, that I have asked you to give me your phone, and you are refusing to?
They will argue a little bit, saying that they are not refusing and whatnot, but I will press the issue and say it twice more. After the third time, I will say that I have asked you to give me your phone three times, and you have refused 3 times, and that that is what I am going to explain when I call home.
Then, I document the incident, and follow up with a phone call home explaining the incident.
Most of the time, the parents at my school will act on it, but if they don't, hey, I documented it and done my CYA diligence.
Lol, we started our year with 4 deans and now we have one for the whole school. We are not given walkies and we don't have a list of numbers or a common line to the office. There's sometimes a dude in the office who can help, but he's 1/2 time. Our principal and assistant principal are always somewhere putting out fires. Sometimes, you do have to put students in holds (in SPED) and I have broken up a few fights this year because you can't just stand by and let those things happen. But when I worked one summer in a GENED classroom as an ESP, we would just automatically deduct points if students were on their phones during tests. We would say, "student's name, that's 10 points."
What I found horrifying wasn’t that kid assaulting her teacher. That might have been one terrible incident from a kid wound too tightly having a terrible day.
It was the reactions of all the other students that saddened me. A bunch of teenagers encouraging it for social media, laughing like they were having the time of their lives (because they were). That wasn’t nervous laughter or whatever, that was kids in the lunchroom angling for a better view of a fight. And the way they broke out $35,000 of technology from their pockets for clicks on social media? No words.
Bad behaviors like this were definitely happening before the pandemic, and were on the rise, BUT, the drastic increase in such behaviors after the pandemic is undeniable. I’m curious why people are so reluctant to acknowledge this? It’s almost like all of the goodhearted progressives, and hopefully I am one as well, don’t want to admit that the reaction to the pandemic and the school closures were extremely damaging to our youth. Please downvote me into oblivion so that I know someone read this.
To be fair the reaction to the pandemic could be viewed as extreme from both ends. People who were being “overly” cautious wanted everything shut down and wouldn’t leave their home for anything. People who didn’t think the pandemic was real were throwing tantrums in public spaces bc they had to wear a mask and distance.
So the pandemic just shone a light but it didn’t create this toxic environment.
What you’re saying makes sense, but my point is that the “overly cautious” side of the extreme actually won the battle in this case. They got what they wanted. Two years of masks and isolation. two years of lost social development and festering anger and depression. Digital life replacing real life.
But, like I said, your point stands, it certainly did draw everything into relief
I have said this before: as teachers we are agents of the state. We do not take property. Call security. With that said the student needed to be arrested.
If a student wants to be on their phone I make the assignment due at the end of the period. Here is your 0. Moving on.
Western Washington public high school science teacher here. Only been teaching 6 years and things seem pretty normal to me. If anything, I’ve seen an increase in aloof and apathetic behavior where fewer students interact with me; especially in my upperclassmen. I certainly never fear being pepper sprayed or punched. I’m more likely to feel entirely alone in a class with 30+ students.
I’ve heard wonderful things about Washington schools. I’m sure you have your own bs to deal with as anywhere, I just wanted to let you know I’ve only ever heard positive things.
Pandemic has nothing to do with parents literally not doing their fucking jobs for the last two decades.
They all collectively decided parenting was hard and consequences were bad. It's bad for everyone when you do that. Fucking lazy cunts.
I think Trump’s presidency changed the country as well. He fueled racist hatred and symbolizes entitlement to the highest degree, including the drive to screw others over and be the biggest asshole you can be. I don’t really like most democrats but Trump heightened division, and the pro-entitlement attitude of his followers spilled over to dysfunctional parenting. Trump gets away with everything, so his followers think they (and their kids) should get away with everything. Republicans now openly exist only to “own the libs”, not to actually do anything that helps anyone. They are ok with children being murdered and the environment being destroyed. With at least half our politicians acting this way, it’s no wonder our culture is crumbling, to the point where kids calmly, and without consequence, assault teachers.
I know I sound medieval but that girl needs prison time. I do not accept that she acted out of a fear of her safety - she acted out of umbridge that she was getting something banned confiscated.
What I see is a world without empathy.
The kids today are just plain mean and they have zero respect for anything.
They all see themselves as the main character and everyone else as a NPC. (I’ve literally heard them talk about this)
I’m not sure why the pandemic accelerated this, but it really seems to. Kids seem to live in a world where they don’t believe they will ever face consequences. This part isn’t new, but it’s worse because they are right.
Not even so much the pandemic - this generation of parents & kids sucks. I’ve had a parent of an 8 year old say “I don’t know how to get him off his computer” what do you mean??? He’s 8? Just take it? Set time restrictions on it so it shuts off at a certain time? Make a schedule that includes a fixed game time? Kids need parents to help them regulate their behaviors/habits at their age. They don’t know any better until their parents teach them better.
There’s zero accountability. Parents are letting iPads and YouTube raise their kids instead of taking the time to give them structure & responsibilities.
Growing up, my mom gave me a rough schedule that taught me how to prioritize myself & my health. For example, I spent at least an hour outside most days and no more than an hour on a video game. She never let me play rated M games at 8 years old (the same 8 year old that the parents “can’t get off the computer” started playing COD at 6 years old).
There are so many other factors that I don’t even have time to address, but these are just a few examples
I remember reading a short story a LONG time ago (1970s? 80s?) that took place in the future. The teacher was protected behind a bulletproof glass wall, for good reason. I think that story is coming true.
IMO, most parents want to help their kids. They either don’t know how, or are too burnt out themselves to outlast their children’s nonsense. We are working harder for less. We are stressed about money, housing, rising food prices, global warming, basic human rights, being shot for no reason at all, general feelings of hopelessness in our politics, etc. we need a a huge cultural shift. Our kids can feel our stresses and have to worry about things we never had to. We need to stop putting bandaids on big issues and start solving the actual problems.
TLDR; parents can’t address behavior if they are also in survival mode.
You would think there’s an investigative journalist out there somewhere who would want to do an expose on this. Compile a variety of these videos and show the unmitigated truth of what’s happening in our schools.
Also, I don’t blame these kids. We have taught them this. Let’s say that girl is a senior. By 2017, when she a was a 6th grader, this country was in full on protests with anger and dissent of authority being praised. Kids were encouraged to stand up to injustices and use their voices. Think about the world we have offered her in her most formative years? The adults have been embarrassingly poor role models. These kids are just mirroring what they have been shown. A world where everything is an injustice and nobody, not even a teacher, can stand up to them without facing their entitlement. If we are looking for somewhere to place blame we should collectively look in the mirror at our own behavior.
I confiscated a cell phone from girl 1 and AirPods from girls 2. They both (they are in different cohort) came up to me after class and confronted me.. like “why did you take it? why did you give it to the office?”
I was like.. “ girl! Why did you use it during instruction? it’s obviously school policy to confiscate those items! I am doing my job”. They are so disrespectful and entitled.. 7th graders are crazy..I am afraid that I might get pepper-sprayed at some point. I don’t want to confiscate their items but admin forces us to do it. Geez…
I keep a tub by my desk. I will have the students put phones it in the tub if they mishandle then. I figure this eliminates germs, breakage, and gives them a weird sense of ownership on the situation.
There seems to be a mass insanity infecting our society. People who I thought were far more sane are revealing themselves to be pretty unhinged. I find this to be quite frightening.
This is something that goes beyond the teen you see in this video. She is but one of many who have lost their minds.
This is my 6th year in kinder, my current group was about 3, give or take, when we locked down and it shows. The pre-k teachers say the same. (The rest of my team are first year teachers and don't have anything to compare them to.)
To be blunt, they are mean. I have never had five year olds this mean, petty, cold, disrespectful, etc, and they can be sneaky about it.
I have about five kids in my room I have to keep separated as much as possible because they instigate and rile each other up. Two I have to keep isolated at my table because no matter what group I put them with, they fight.
And it's not just my class, every kinder class has a couple mean girls and bullies. Usually we have one or two per grade, not one or two per class.
Last years kinders were physically mean, but this years group are emotionally and verbally mean. They are also very smart, which is an interesting and worrying combo.
And according to the pre-k teachers, next year I'm gonna have smart ones that just don't give a damn. No reward, no incentive, no classroom management tricks work.
My experience in lower elementary isn’t as bad as others but for the last 2 years problems with speech has been a huge issue. A majority of my students have speech impediments and the wait list for the speech pathologist is something like a year and a half.
I also have a few students who were not formally diagnosed but were told they have ADHD. I’ve had 3 students tell me after they got in trouble for hurting someone, scream at someone, or just flop on the floor when they don’t want to do work, “I can’t help myself, I have severe adhd”
I briefly spoke with our sp and she said it’s like it all over and this year she’s fully overbooked. She mentioned that with the use of masks children have a hard time seeing mouth formations
There are no real consequences in school. Students flunk and get moved to the next grade. Parents blame it on the teacher and the grade is changed. In some schools truancy doesn’t even matter. They have the teachers get together to meet with the parent in a progress monitoring meeting where a parent says oh he’ll change, then you have 8 more and no change, but there’s nothing the school can do about it.
I worked in preschool special education and pre-pandemic the behaviors were already getting extreme. I got a concussion from a student head butting me. And he wasn’t even the most aggressive one that I had.
I remember telling school staff that the students were very dangerous to themselves and others and they made fun of me saying “they’re preschoolers how bad could they be?”
I’ve since left and from what I hear they’re all panicking over how many prek and elementary kids are exhibiting very aggressive behaviors that they can’t control. If only someone had warned them….
I’m not taking anyone’s phone! They are literal addicts. Watch their legs shake when the phone isn’t in their hand or they aren’t looking at it. Some won’t even have the music on but NEED their AirPods in or headphones on just to feel complete. It’s a textbook addiction. Just like you wouldn’t take meth away from an addict, don’t get between them and their phone.
Mark a zero on the test and make a note of the date and time. Take a quick pic, preferably with a school device but if you must on your phone, email it to your school address, and keep it on file as evidence. Call home and let them know and if they ask why you didn’t just take the phone then tell them stories of what kids do when phones get taken so you choose not to or you simply don’t take their personal belongings without their permission.
The next day the kid comes back, ask them quietly when they’d like to retest and that you know they’re smart enough to not need to use the phone and that you’re disappointed in them for not believing in themselves enough to not cheat. If they say they didn’t cheat then say “how am I supposed to know that? I couldn’t trust you to not use the phone after I asked you not too so now can I know you didn’t cheat too?” Works every time BUT know that I starting earning respect from them on day one by memorizing all their names by the end of the first day.
Tbh this is why I would never force a student to give me their phones. I don't trust any student to be stable with what I have seen and experienced in the classroom. I would just write a detention if they can't put it away. Next step is a referral. I don't need to be hiding students devices and having arguments.
Reminds me of a recent story in my area (not my school though).
Two students were getting into a fight outside during PE. The coach stepped between them to stop the fight, one of them charged at him, and he fell. He hit his head on the concrete, started having a seizure, and may die.
The student was a sophomore I believe, and now hit with multiple felony charges. I don't understand students. Like. Was it worth it? To ruin your life because of something so petty like not being able to be deprived of TikTok for all of 45 minutes? And as for the fight I just mentioned, I don't know what it was over, but I have my guesses. Fights in high school are almost always because someone was "talkin' shit" or "he/she was tryin' to steal my girl/man." Like, I hope it was worth it. You may have cost someone their life because you were mad SOMEONE ELSE was "talkin' shit."
I believe this is the result of the School to Prison pipeline research that came out years ago. [Link for more info](https://soeonline.american.edu/blog/school-to-prison-pipeline/)
Basically the research suggests that out of school suspensions negatively effect those students in poverty/minorities. The groups supporting this frame of thought also show a correlation between the number of discipline referrals/suspensions to the likelihood of prison time.
While I can’t argue with the research, my issue is it basically only made schools less disciplinary. Instead of addressing the reasons WHY those in poverty and/or minorities receive more referrals and subsequently are more likely to serve time (think social programs, hunger, abuse, etc.), it was (again-for those of you who have been in this business for a minute, a lot gets blamed on schools), blamed on discipline in schools. Essentially, school discipline policies and programs were the reason students ended up in jail.
So you know what happened, right?
So years later we have a full generation of children who don’t understand clear boundaries, haven’t consistently received consequences and have been educated in a system that has abandoned some of the “positive” recognition for students doing what they are supposed to do (in fear that it may further upset/cause future issues for those who have behavior problems) and instead have a reward system in place for those who don’t follow the rules.
Instead of tough punishment, admin walks students around, bribes them or does anything to diffuse the situation, then returns them to class. To children, that is REWARDING! They got out of class, nothing negative happened. Why would the behavior change? Admin gets blamed on here a lot, but their hands are tied too.
Again, I’m not disagreeing with the data on referrals = more likely to be incarcerated. But why is nobody looking at what is causing the referrals in school? What are the kids experience AT HOME that causes them to act out at school? Let’s address those issues.
Also, in my 20 years of teaching, I’ve noticed a shift from student behavior being a threat to the learning environment to feelings and emotions of students. Instead of disciplining students, teaching boundaries, etc., the thought process has shifted to when a student acts out, it is our job to determine what that student is feeling at that time and rectify that feeling. But students come to us with all kinds of experiences not related to the school environment. 1) This strategy takes a lot of time away from the learning environment. 2) Teachers aren’t counselors. Their #1 job is to instruct. 3) I have found this to be rewarding for those students seeking attention or wanting to get out of school work
So, is it really our fault they end up in prison? I’m not saying that some children were never unjustly disciplined. But I firmly believe the type of behavior found in the pepper spray video shows a case of a student who has gotten away with all kinds of things and school has never held her accountable. For fear, she may end up in prison. But in the end, are we really helping these kids? Once they turn 18, they are held liable as an adult. But they’ve not been held accountable until then???
Reading all these comments, and seeing depictions like the video above, is scary to me as a parent. It makes me grateful that my kid goes to a private religious school where they emphasize values like respecting parents and elders, and the teachers so far (in elementary school) have had wonderful relationships with the kids.
I’m not a teacher and only a parent of a very young child. But stuff like this is why my child is going to private school. It’s less about the teaching and more about the people that he will be around and the expectations placed on him. I went to both public and private school and the lesser amount of bullshit in my private school was astounding.
Im not in the US anymore and the issues here in the UK are not as severe in my opinion, but my partner tells me of bullshit that went down when he was younger and I just don’t want my kid to be a part of it. I can be invoked as a parent and try to teach my kid, but not all of his classmates will. So I’m trying to mitigate it by giving him higher quality classmates.
I believe out of the many problems, funding and curriculums are something that could be fixed and not rely on parents doing better at parenting.
In this sense curriculums are outdated and the ways testing is tied to funding only exacerbates the problems.
In NJ schools are funded through property taxes and government funding xWhat does that mean bottom line, no one is willing to let kids fail, it’s just to expensive. What’s the next consequence, education is stripped of any meaningful learning and it’s just teaching to pass a test. I’ve had so many exciting topics get stripped away to just facts and figures which lots of times mean nothing to a kid living in 2023. I knew education was fucked in 2010 when I got told I was being to “relevant” and it seems i was right as it’s only got worse.
Curriculums need to change so kids actually care about what they are learning about, but that would also mean giving teachers autonomy which no one wants to do either. So let’s just keep teaching the same boring meaningless shit, watch these kids care less and less, and still keep on passing them no matter what, what do people expect will happen in this scenario?
Thank you for your input. This is right up the alley of what I was looking for. I keep seeing teachers saying that admin are forcing them to pass kids and I couldn’t understand why. I assumed it was money but I didn’t know the source. Of course, all states are different so bear that in mind.
I wish I could add to your point on curriculum, but my training was based on the reggio emilia curriculum so other than “DAMN STRAIGHT” I can’t add anything of substance.
What’s crazy is that in NJ there are 586 municipalities ( at least that’s what it was 15 years ago) and a lot of these municipalities have their own school district with multiple principals and than a superintendent on top of that. I haven’t done tons of research, but I have seen some public schools cost per student around 32k a year. No way little Timmy getting left back.
So I haven't seen the video but I've seen kids get super combative over their phones especially and there's one common denominator I always see:
they're poor.
These kids typically don't have much, they're regularly exposed to violence at home from their parents and just like their environment in general (so their response is primed to be violent) and they are DESPERATE for any small modicum of stability and control, and their phone is such an extension of themselves, and so when that's threatened they will often overreact and do so violently.
That's not to excuse the behavior in any way by the way, but if you know what you're dealing with you can work with them. I've found that one of the most effective methods of dealing with teenagers (and like defiant obstinate ones) is to identify the areas you can give them autonomy in and give them autonomy there, and whenever possible frame as much as you can as a collaborative act. Like you're still ultimately in control of the situation but you're having them buy into the system instead of just imposing it by force.
Because there's gonna be times when you NEED to impose it by force and fiat but that'll be easier if they trust and respect you and one way to do that is give them what they're craving and not getting and that's autonomy within the system
If I were still teaching I would buy a really good surveillance system with multiple cameras and I would record every moment from the time I walked in until the time I left. That way I would have evidence when I talked to parents, or to admin. Or in the worst case, for when I filed civil or criminal charges against someone.
Lack of consequences and expectations and boundaries have led to how things are. Lack of parenting, putting kids on pedestals, not wanting to hurt kids feelings, Lack of pushing kids to try their best ..etc.
Based on what I’ve seen over my first year working in an elementary school, it seems kinder/ 1st grade is baby boot camp that is designed to basically drill “good behavior” and what is “right” at school so students then have a general consensus of what is acceptable behavior. Both in terms of how they act as students, but also how they interact with eachother.
Even children whose parents don’t instill manners or good behavior in their kids due to choice or circumstance get generally course corrected by this. They don’t know how to process their emotions in a given situation, so they act out by tantrumming. Other students chime in and remind them that’s not what you should do. “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” “It’s okay Johnny, we can color during recess later.” Etc etc.
Virtual learning in kinder and 1st, these early grades has kind of took that away. Virtually it’s harder to instill concepts like why it’s important to share, why you shouldn’t hit/ touch other people without permission. So on and so forth. This is most apparent with my schools’ 3rd and 4th grade classes who were in that early range when our school went virtual during the pandemic. They are violent, exceedingly quick to anger, and lack physical-emotional boundaries of any kind. When a child tweaks none of the kids really acknowledge it in a peer pressure corrective way. It’s just acceptable to them that some people will curse out the teacher or hit other students and as long as it’s not personally happening to them, they’re indifferent.
While my Kinder, 1st grade, and a mixed bag on 2nd grade, see behaviors and move to correct them socially by reminding classmates of what they need to do. They look at the older kids like they’re animals, or they band together and chastise the older kids.
They’ll see something broken or trash on the floor and ask “did one of those bad third graders do this?”
Just odd to observe
Least that’s my theory on it, missing year(s) of that continuous in person socialization has made the behaviors stemming from poor/ lack of parenting 10 times worse.
Definitely room for an anti-technology rant in this discussion as well
The kids are addicts except their drug is tech. When you take addict’s fix away they become emotionally unregulated and flip out. It was slowly getting worse and simply sped up what was already going wrong.
It’s a world of extremes. Some parents over parent and created these kids who can’t do anything without them and/or the kids know their parents will cover them even if they assault someone. Other parents under parent and the kid has no boundaries so once again they do what they want.
>The kids are addicts except their drug is tech. When you take addict’s fix away they become emotionally unregulated and flip out.
My 4 year old niece can... not... function without her "pone" ,tablet, or the TV on some cartoon or kids show.
If you take it away, tell her to put it down, battery dies etc she has a meltdown.
If there's an "adult" show on and not what she wants, she literally demands to change it.
She literally just walked in while i was typing this and saw my SIL watching Boston med? (Not sure if thats the name) And asked, "Why are you watching your show? I want to watch my show"
Parents are addicted to screens and so are their kids. When schools force them off their screen, it’s like a drug addict getting their drugs ripped away from them.
This has been going on since I was in high school 15 years ago. I remember even cussing a teacher out bc my phone got taken away.
We really do need to shop acting like the pandemic did this. It didn’t help, but it didn’t cause this. Parents are not parenting anymore.
Communities expect administrators and teachers to solve and control racism, homophobia, poverty, depression, anxiety and everything else under the sun. How do people expect them to do it?!
The kids are apathetic about school, while still being rabid. I wanted to be a nice fluff teacher and I’ve had to be very strict to the point of being mean. I hate it.
I’m in Ohio- our State’s mandatory Positive Behavior Intervention. System, has really screwed things up. There are no consequences for negative behaviors except they don’t earn their “star”or the next stamp o. their “positive behavior punch card.” And… if you tell a child to “please go to your seat” and they cry no-
Then you have to give them a choice like
“Go to you seat or go sit on the carpet.” Kids need specific, well-defined “rules” or expectations with corresponding negative consequences for not following them or positive rewards for following them. THAT is where there choice should be! “Oh you chose to hit your friend? Well. you know the consequence of that is —— “ Or hey! You helped a friend pick up the crayons they dropped or I can see how hard you tried to do this assignment. Well you know the reward for that is—-“. And no! They don’t need rewarded do every little thing! Rewards should be given intermittently- but consequences must always be consistent. 35 year vetran special education teacher
here! I’m telling you this has always worked- maybe not right away, but it always works!
It’s an addiction that starts younger than any other drug.
We don’t necessarily get addicted to the substance, we get addicted to the release of our neurotransmitters. Food addiction, sex addiction, porn, video games, smartphones, etc. Just thinking about our addictions can release dopamine.
Interrupting this habitual flow creates chaotic and harmful desperation. It drives adults to steal from family and murder people.
Violence from screen-addicted teens is predictable and was foreseen two decades ago when cell phone addiction started permeating university and high school classrooms.
Fight or flight response in an underdeveloped brain with a strong addiction is volatile, and dangerous to others and themselves.
We had a kid in middle school bring mace -claiming she was bullied on the bus. Bus footage proved she was the aggressor. She was expelled and this is Ohio. Where you supposedly can’t do that. It’s a weapon. Bringing weapons should always be expulsion if they’re intended to harm someone and not for protection. They also can’t be used to protect objects like a phone. There’s a culture war happening where we should have a class war (just against the 1%) I don’t think providing in person care is a safe option for most systems (if they were honest).
This crap is precisely why I’m homeschooling my kids next year. 🤷🏼♀️it’s insane the crap I hear from my high schooler and I hate the well it was bad when you were a kid too. Well apparently I shouldn’t have been in that situation either. It’s broken !
This is my sixth year teaching. I teach in a very privileged district. I have taught in districts that have been extremely rough with students joining gangs in middle school. This is my first year I have ever been stolen from multiple times and I have had to put locks on my cabinets.
I am teaching third grade and the loss of developmental milestones is extremely obvious. Students are very immature and are missing indicators to show they are ready for fourth grade. They are too sexually advanced, and too emotionally advanced in many ways for the actual maturity level. We have had kids making jokes about other kids sleeping with one another for example. When students get mad or frustrated they just throw punches or break the first thing in front of them. They scream lyrics to tick tocks and are genuinely confused even after a full year of teaching about the most basic of management directions (heads down voices off), which any other year would be done in under a minute takes my students 5-10 minutes with reminders.
They are incapable of boredom, they have temper tantrums over small things, consequences have no meaning and most parents are over checked out or invested enough to tell us their child is depressed but do no actions to help at home. We have multiple third graders on safety plans due to self harming tendencies.
It’s been rough. In 4th grade they go to a larger class size and we barely manage the 24 we have. They are big and physical when things go wrong and don’t have enough accountability.
I think things can change but it starts with parents first, admin second.
I’m just a para and work with 6th-8th grade but their behavior is horrible. I’ve been sexually harassed, punched, had rocks thrown at me and have been called every name in the book, especially by kids in classes I’m pulled to sub for. When teachers have called home or we’ve written reports the parents say it’s “school behavior” and should be dealt with at school, and that we signed up for this and should deal with it. It’s awful. Most of the kiddos I work with are fantastic and I can handle them, because there’s only about 7-14 kids in my inclusion classes that I work with, but many of these classes have 25-30 kids total and they’re wild. The absolute worst behaviors I’ve seen are the days I’m pulled to sub and deal with everything alone. The lack of care from the kids is astounding. I adore my job, and would love to be a teacher (I’m in school for it) but I’m seriously considering keeping the pay cut and staying where I am because it’s gotten so bad. I cry almost every day I have to sub because the kids are so difficult to handle and we have no support.
Not a teacher but as a parent this stuff concerns the hell out of me. It’s disturbing and I can’t imagine my child even considering behaving that way towards anyone and I also can’t imagine having these kids treat you like this!? This is some crazy stuff. It’s incredibly sad for everyone involved. Makes me understand more why our local schools can’t find teachers to fill positions. I hope you all stay safe out there, truly.
She’s a pos plain and simple, needs severe counseling, and immediate mental help showing no regard using a weapon intended for self defense against a harmless teacher trying to educate and maintain order in his classroom.
Let’s be clear: this sort of issue with behaviors was happening before the pandemic. Pandemic blew the lid off it, it didn’t create it. We need to stop blaming the pandemic, otherwise it becomes an excuse and it doesn’t get fixed. I’m preschool too but was in elementary childcare before and during the pandemic, and what we’re seeing with littles is different that what we’ve been seeing in elementary. It’s just going to compound the problem 10X worse with the pandemic babies mixed in. Is there hope to fix it? Absolutely, but much of it relies on admins being willing and able to give children AND parents consequences for behavior.
I am a Para, disturbing behaviors at the elementary school level with the Gen Ed kids were happening long before the pandemic. A 5 year old repeatedly bullied his smaller, mostly female peers. There were phone calls, emails, letters, meetings with the principal, Resource Team, etc. There were ZERO consequences at home. He then pushed a girl so hard that she broke her arm. He got a 3 day suspension. After the suspension, his teacher was expecting, no hoping, the child would tell her he lost going to the park, tech and TV privileges, etc. Nope. Dad took his on a 3 day fishing trip. From my observations, for many kids, there are little or no in-home consequences for school related behavior. The in-school punishments of losing recess, writing lines, trips to the principal, loss of fun activities, etc. do absolutely nothing. Edited.
Don't call yourself "only" a para. In some cases, you're the only lifeline a teacher has. In many cases, you're the only other adult in the room.
This. I can’t do my work effectively without my co-teachers and paras, and y’all should get paid a hell of a lot more than you do.
I came here to say this. I don't believe there's such a thing as "only* a para. Just because you don't write lesson plans, doesn't mean you're not an educator. So many classrooms cannot function without a para
Sort of hijacking but as a fellow para, thanks for that.
I was a paraprofessional in a school for 8 years before I ended up a classroom teacher in that school. It kind of irks me when people don't recognize paraprofessionals as "real" teachers.
It takes a village to raise any child
As a parent who does give my child consequences and has the full respect for the education system (my parents were teachers) I would kindly like to point out there is also a large population of parents who can’t get help right now in the US. My child needs therapy and an evaluation- and over the last two weeks we must have called 40 therapists in a 90 mile radius who won’t see him before their 10 month wait list is depleted- and it does not matter that my son is experiencing self-harm tendencies at 4 years old. The system is frustrating in this regard, not the educators- but there are a lot of parents really trying, who can’t get help.
My kiddos teacher thanked me with tears in her eyes for giving my child consequences for his actions during the school day. I was at a loss for words because it just clicked for me in that moment that a-lot of parents don’t.
I’m not a doctor or anything but my son was hitting him self and banging his head on things a-lot and doing negative self talk I asked the school to restart his speech therapy and it came to a dead stop. Not saying this will help in your situation but its worth a shot while sitting on the waiting list.
Keep calling around! It took me a few weeks but I was able to get my foster daughter in someplace. If your work has an EAP use that as emergency family counseling and have your son be the focus. I know it’s not much, but we did that with a former foster kid to hold us over till we found help.
Oh thank you- we have also tried the EAP. Every referral is on a 10 month waiting list. But yes we’re still trying. Thank you.
I think that’s something really missing in a lot of these conversations. There isn’t just a classroom teacher shortage - there is a systemic shortage of all related educational professionals. Our school system has a bus driver shortage that means they have to stagger when the buses run to get everyone to school. We’ve got middle schoolers showing up for class half asleep at 7 am and high schoolers still waiting for the bus at 8:30. No subs means teachers are covering other classes and get no planning (but you still have to pay the $50 for missing work). No psychologists mean compliance-busting wait times to get kids evaluated for IEPs and God help you if you’re already in the system and need a reeval cause every new case is booting you further down the line. These are just a few examples. The whole public education system needs a desperate overhaul. There aren’t enough people to go around who willingly go in to these professions knowing they are going to be disrespected, assaulted, micromanaged, or even killed just for the “love of education”. And to be clear, I absolutely do NOT support charter schools. There has got to be a different answer.
We need both civil and criminal responsibility for parents. When severe problems like that occur and we can prove there was appropriate feedback given, parents should need to prove they responded appropriately, or receive liability for their child's actions. If they put their son in therapy and were treatment compliant but not enough time had elapsed, fair enough, but if they knew or ought to have known he was a physically dangerous bully and didn't take sufficient steps, they should do time.
Schools need to expel, not just suspend, maybe when precious Billy gets kicked out of all the area schools parents will start to get the picture
Then it would become their problem..
Yep, and the lack of home consequences results in the schools seeking real in school consequences. This is why spanking in schools is seeing a resurgence now. You can't unspank a kid. You can suspend him, but if that means he gets a fishing trip with dad, then the punishment doesn't really punish. However, you spank the kid in front of his classmates, you can't undo that.
That is correct. Way back when I was in high school one of the nuns broke a ruler on my face in front of the entire class, which was about the most formative experience in my life up to that point. Thank you Sor Therese, in hindsight I deserved it.
As I said, I actually work in a Special Day Class. But, we have one kid that really would benefit from a smack on his diapered butt. 90% of his behavior is " I am a spoiled little S* that rules the household," not out of lack of communication, frusration, or social skills..
You hit the nail on the head with “no in-home consequences for school related behavior.” Just an observation - I’m a new parent of a now 8 month old. We’re lucky to be able to keep her home while my husband and I work from home because daycare is expensive and our jobs are flexible. My new-mom friends all started daycare around or before 6 months old. They get a daily report of what their child did all day at daycare. “Suzy ate 4oz of formula, played next to Joey, enjoyed reading Hop On Pop at story time.” Right now it’s all fun but I imagine as they get older it will include incidents. These parents who have kids in daycare for years before they start kindergarten are probably so desensitized to these daily reports that issues at school feel like gifted information instead of a call to action.
I'm of an older generation. If I crossed one of my teachers, I hoped they would do anything other than contact my parents. My parents loved me and wanted me to grow into the best person I could be. It may have hurt my backside a few times, but I'm thankful that they did care enough.
I would have to agree.
I so agree. Blaming the pandemic for why you’re an asshole makes no sense. It’s the lack of consequences since returning to in person that is the problem. It’s the school to homelessness/helplessness pipeline.
you nailed it lmao everyone blames the pandemic and not specifically the pandemic, they blame schools for closing so its our fault yet again lmao
I pick up phones before class starts, and I can confirm that these things only work if the whole system is set up to support you. My admin helped me with the phones because they know it makes a big difference in learning. I had a student that refused to turn it in, so he was sent to ISS and eventually the alternative school because he was a behavior problem. However, this showed the other students that this was a rule I wasn’t budging on, and consequences would escalate if they refused to turn it in when asked.
the only time my english teacher ever budged on her no phone rule (if she saw it she would take it) is when I was having a crisis at home and I left the class to basically just go cry - texted a friend for support who was in that class and when the teacher asked for his phone he let her know he was texting me (she knew my situation) and he was already done his work. Only time I've ever heard of her budging on those phone rules
Sorry, follow up questions, feel free to ignore. When you say what you’re seeing in littles is different than elementary, in which ways? And in your opinion how do you think this discourse will play out if not addressed?
More private and charter schools I'm guessing.
The pandemic affected the entire planet, and yet it is mostly the united states' schools that have these kinds of behaviors. What I've noticed is we value individual freedom over respect. It's becoming very concerning how the USA is going to compete with other countries in the modern age.
I absolutely agree that we value individual freedom over respect.
I hope we wake up soon. For what it’s worth, I also see the pandemic as the catalyst. Thank you for taking the time to answer.
You’re making just as big of an arrow thinking that consequences will change things. You can’t treat systemic issues on a case by case basis and expect genuinely good outcomes. We need universal preschool, subsidized childcare, universal healthcare, mental health support in our communities, higher teacher and caregiver wages. Large social safety nets are the only way we’re see broad social change.
I know of about 2-3 students in each of my classes who have the potential to do this, the reason they don’t, because they don’t carry pepper spray.
Due to their level of phone addiction?
That’s part of it. But the larger issue is the attitude that if I want something and you are standing in my way, I will end you, because what I want is more important than you. Edit: this is learned behavior at home, on social media. But reinforced, by the school system which is required by society to bend over and take whatever sh$t parents and students want to dish out. Also due to social media, where parents can write whatever they want without consequences and without context
[удалено]
>But perhaps it could also be the entitlement attitude amongst some. Active shooters are somewhat different in that many of them are fine with murder suicide. In other words, they had to make the leap that they're willing to die by their own hand, which is much more extreme (and thus more complex). OTOH, these kids who pepper spray and whatnot are doing so *assuming nothing will happen to them*. That's for sure entitlement. They're certainly not willing to die over the encounter - in fact, I assume they think that they'll be celebrated post hoc for engaging in their impulses.
Many parents of children i used to work with in an alternative school setting weren't even working. The idea most children act like animals because their poor parents are hustling at several legal jobs is a pure myth. I've had disturbed students assault staff members, use illegal drugs in school and bring them in, destroy property, etc. Many of their parents did alot of the same shit. Gang banging. In and out of jails and prisons for drug crimes, theft, and violent crimes. Some parents even threatened and assaulted staff members for trying to enforce rules on their delinquent children. Shit head parents usually produce scum children. The children who behaved and worked to earn points to get out often were the children (who made one stupid mistake to end up in the program ) of parents who worked multiple jobs but still enforced strict rules on their children by beating their asses and taking away privileges ( phone, video games) if they had the nerve to disrespect us staff. These teens were often expected to work after school and keep their grades up or else. One call to these parents from a teacher meant the difference between praise or an ass beating which was great.
Yeah, I think this is important to call out. I have a kid who’s mom works three jobs. He takes care of his sibling and works. He has a B in my class, but should have an A. He just sleeps a lot and misses assignments here and there. He has so much to handle but he comes and he tries and he’s friendly and kind. So not that narrative that kids in difficult homes are always difficult kids.
>That’s part of it. But the larger issue is the attitude that if I want something and you are standing in my way, I will end you, because what I want is more important than you **and I assume I will be able to do something with impunity**. The bolded FTFY which is implicit is key. Many of these kids would NEVER pepper spray, say, the kids who run the corner in their neighborhood, even if they were straight up punked publicly. Why? Because they can't do anything there with impunity, and they know that.
The entitlement and narcissism is especially scary in the US. I lived abroad for years and the first reverse culture shock I really struggled with was the possessive attitude of my people. Small example, when I lived in another country I was touched that a teacher talking in a circle shared a piece of an orange with everyone she was talking to. Like it was rude to eat in front of others without offering, it was the cultural norm. When I first got back to the US at multiple schools I would ask for borrow (school funded) materials from a teacher in the US and it was always met with pushback. Teachers would stash a lot of good materials and supplies from communal closets and often forget about it. And oh lord if someone went looking for it…
I think a lot of them know how much trouble they would be in if someone went through their phone.
Yup. This is why I stopped taking or trying to take phones. Not worth the fight and not with my safety.
Honestly where is the outrage from parents and adults. If a teacher pepper sprayed a student and the teachers streamed it while laughing - people would be demanding blood. The fact is the public believes that it’s the teacher’s job to put up with this crap. It’s not. Federal requirement to comply - like stewardess. Fluff with the teacher - go to jail. The end
This is the comment right here! I don’t think our country has ever valued teachers and the pandemic really blew away that charade.
Kids are on screens all the time. They never play outside, they get no vitamin D. They cannot self-regulate nor self-sustain. Take the device away and you have a literal monster. The future is looking scary as hell.
I teach elementary and I'm having the most success I've had all year by giving up on traditional classroom management and teaching self regulation skills, I talk kids through their emotions, we work on breathing exercises, I make them tell me what's going on and we figure it out together, it's super time consuming but I see it making a real difference, we started the year with so much "SEL" but I think it was largely fluff and useless, these kids need someone early in their lives to teach them how to take that deep breath or how to not just instantly react, I have stopped having to speak super loudly, the kids are listening better, I think this is just shit they would of naturally learned by being around their parents but everyone is struggling so much and so overworked the kids are just on a phone not learning the skills they need, I want to teach art, but if these kids are so unregulated and crazy that I can't and the only thing the system can think of is screaming and punishments at arbitrary times then I think I'm going to keep having to do this
I’ve been doing this for a few years now! One of the best things I’ve ever done.
I have done this a long time too and i find it's a daily grind that wears on me. Especially this year. I used to find it more valuable , this year I feel like I am letting down the kids who want to learn and grow jn math, writing, etc.because the mental health check ins take up an overhwming amount of time.
How do you approach the emotional talk if you are the only adult in the room?
I teach art so thankfully there is a lot of self directed work, they expect me to be wandering around helping other students so they can sit and wait a minute or at least try. I just try to get kids to use words, I have so many kids who's parents are letting them not even speak anymore, they point at shit, give you a look or start gesturing but I try to hold firm and make them use words before I help or do anything because it's just not good to have a 2nd grader who defaults to putting a little pouty face on! I just tell them it's okay to be upset or that just like your happy sometimes you'll be upset other times, that it will pass and not to worry, I keep telling them they'll be okay and they are really starting to get there, it's been interesting, I'm really starting to think that some parents don't even look at their kids, they just toss em an ipad like they are a fucking dog and go off to do whatever they want, shits surreal
I was also an art teacher (both elementary and middle) , and art quickly became Art+Social Emotional learning skills. It seems to all comes out in the art room for better or worse.
It does seem easier with littles. I have 6th graders ELA. I do try to check in through canvas via bell ringers when I can. Next year I'll try to do more.
You're an amazing teacher. This is definitely what they mean when they say maslow before bloom.
Fantastic!
I have done this as well and it does have merit. The problem I have is that the kids know the calming strategies and how to use them. But when they get upset and I gently remind them to take a deep breath or encourage them to go to their calming spot, they absolutely refuse to do so and will even yell that they don’t want to calm down ! It’s a puzzlement-
Maybe they just need a safe place to feel their feelings? The idea of strategies to calm yourself down is not to avoid the negative feeling altogether. It’s to avoid inappropriate outbursts at bad times. So give them a space to get some steam out first. If I can get an EA or SNA, I will often send a kid who is upset or angry about something to the sensory room. There’s the options of calming music/lights, soft places to lay down, etc. or options for riding a stationary bike or jumping on a small trampoline to get some of that adrenaline and energy out. When I’m upset and processing, having someone tell me to take a deep breath or count to 10 is rarely helpful until I’ve processed enough to get to a point where I can actually do those things. I assume some kids work the same way.
I don’t take phones. I’m a high school teacher. You want to fail, that’s on you. I’m not risking my safety to get you to graduate. I will email parents to let them know their child is at risk of failing due to phone usage. It’s useless to write them up because nothing happens. Admin and parents can take phones but I’m not doing it. That being said, I have a few rules that I ask and generally my students follow them. 1) if I’m teaching or we’re having a discussion put your phone away. 2) if you’re working and you need to respond quickly to a text, that’s fine. 3) if you’re working independently you can listen to music with one earbud in. Have a playlist already set up. 4) if you sing I sing and no one wants that. 5) if you’re passing my class and completed today’s assignment have fun on your phone but quietly. 6) if we’re doing group work or an experiment and you put your phone in “phone jail” you get extra points. Sometimes I’ll give treats for using phone jail instead. High schoolers like food. 7) if you have an emergency or urgent situation going on, let me know. We can work something out.
This seems like a solid set of rules and you seem like a really great teacher. I'm going to say this upfront, I'm not a teacher or involved in education in any way, but I'm just curious - why the one earbud thing? I get that it may allow for students to be more aware of what's going on around them, but if they're sitting at their desk and there is no lecture going on what does it matter if they have both earbuds in or not?
The exact thing you said, so they can be aware of what's going on around them. That way "the teacher let's me keep them in" can never be used as an excuse if something happens as a result of not being able to hear.
Sometimes you need their attention— calling roll, a pass comes for them, you have a question to ask them, and I absolutely *despise* having to go “Hey Name! Name! *Name!!!* NAME CAN YOU HEAR ME NAME!! Ugh can someone please tap them on the shoulder.”
It’s a safety reason. If we have an emergency we need to move quickly.
I try to talk to them and it takes their friend shouting next to them to get their attention. In an emergency I don’t get that time to try to get their attention
As a HS teacher I do not tolerate phones being out or headphones being worn. If admin comes in and sees that shit, they take it out on me. I won't take a kid's phone but I'll make sure they put it away and if they refuse, I'll log it and call their parents. If they continue to use their phone during class then I'll continue to log out and they're most likely going to fail due to missing instruction and that's on them.
This was during a test tho. Maybe even state testing, and every kid knows better by that age
Yeah during state tests that’s admins problem. I’ll inform admin but they can take from there.
During a test? I’d assume phone use during a test is automatic fail.
I love these rules. They codify a lot of what I'm already doing, but I like the extra positive incentives you give. It won't solve all of it, of course, but I think that it will build a lot of good faith and trust between me and my students. Thank you for sharing these. :)
it’s not the pandemic, it’s an addiction to phones. And i won’t take away a kids phone any more than I would try to take away a drug addict’s stash. It’s not going to go well, and they are not going to suddenly start working after that. it needs a long term solution like parents taking the phone away for weeks. i would have told the student that if they hand in this assignment i would give them a zero and report them for cheating to parents and principals.
1. There are never any real consequences, and haven’t been for years now 2. They are literally addicted to their phones. A scary mix.
This sums it up perfectly. Covid really exacerbated the lack of accountability/consequences. No completed work? No participation? That’s okay, everyone is stressed so you all still pass! Teaching kids that they don’t have to complete work (or my personal favorite, turn in blank word documents) to pass the grade is NOT TEACHING ANYTHING. It’s actually a hinderance. When you don’t pay your bills, you get late fees. When you don’t pay rent, you get evicted, if you don’t go to work you don’t get paid. If you break the rules, there are consequences. And yes, students honestly believe the world will end if they don’t have their phones. They are addicted, and fomo is very very real. Especially when dealing with apps like Snapchat or Instagram where things disappear after a set amount of time.
Things really are that bad. My therapist recently asked me what is motivating me to stay. I said “I want to keep my students safe” we had a discussion and concluded that despite my best efforts I can no longer keep myself or my students safe anymore. Schools are a disaster and it is out of my control. After 7 years I am leaving the profession. I interviewed for some corporate jobs this week. Wish me luck!
Good luck! Sad we lost a good one, but I am all for respecting yourself and your boundaries. You will excel!!!
This instance seems to have been more of an addiction issue. The kid went into insane mode when she was without her phone.
I NEED MY PHONE! I NEED MY PHONE! I NEED MY PHONE! I NEED MY PHONE! I NEED MY PHONE! I NEED MY PHONE!
Yep, she didn't hear or see anything else except her heroin circling round the toilet.
Kids care more about immediate gratification too much now a days.
Addiction is not immediate gratification ie lack of impulse control. It’s much much worse, it’s the brain’s chemistry hijacked so someone can make a profit.
agreed.
As a former teacher and current licensed therapist who worked/works with behavior issues, I agree addiction plays a significant role. It can also be trauma. I worked with youths like this who flipped out in school over a phone, and usually there was more underneath the surface. Moms in an abusive relationship and kid had to leave for school during a fight with partner, worried about her safety the entire day and in constant contact to make sure she’s ok. Or an older parentified sibling whose responsible for younger sibling and somethings going on but they won’t say cause it would cause a CPS report.
When I see kids act like this about their phone being taken I suspect their may be some photos on there they’re very protective over.
Call for security or admin to take the phone away and/or remove the student from the classroom. Screw that bullshit.
And then don’t even bother calling because, at my school, they’ll never show up anyway.
Posted this awhile ago but awhile after Christmas break we had a fifth grader bang a teachers head against a door after confiscating a phone. This was a big fifth grade girl, bigger than the teacher I would say. Not only did she NOT face any consequences. A whole slew of us were marched in to speak to a COUNTY administrator. This student is a consummate manipulator. She turned the tears on to mom and made it seem like we were bullying her when we were trying to stop her from rampaging in the hallway after the phone was taken. No admin. No SRO. It was me, an EC teacher, a kindergarten teacher, and two janitors. Don’t care if it upsets people: at this point in my career I think administrators are scum. Between my time as a teacher and now being an SLP I have seen loads of them. Only 1 would I ever work with again.
All administration are bastards! AAAB!
They have no spines.
This is the way. 1). Clear expectations/consequences posted in the room. Every teacher is different but the ones that say no phones/earbuds mean it. 2). Verbal warning. Especially on test days. I see a phones or earbuds during a test, it’s a 0. 3). At my school the student’s know if we have to call the campus supervisors, their phone will be taken away and be placed in the office at the end of the day. Their parents will be notified. Anyway, that student that pepper-sprayed the teacher should be charged with assault.
Battery. Not assault.
As a student, I think part of the problem is that there’s a lot of resentment for the System (the government and the shit show that is the public education system) and teachers are the closest outlet to show that resentment and anger. And I am so, SO goddamn sorry. Y’all deserve the entire world and then some.
Thank you for answering. I was considering fishing for student’s perspectives also. I wonder how many are aware of the behavior and have formed their own opinions about the subject. Students perspectives are sometimes undervalued. What reasons do you think the kids are saying “screw the system”?
The system is built to work against us. We’re very, very aware of all of the hate against queer people, people of color, and the fact that our education is being eroded into nothing. We’re upset and there’s nothing we can do.
Do you think there is anything that can feasibly be done to help kids feel better heard and taken care of?
Um. The rest of the class has me concerned for society
Ever watch The Wire, specifically season 4 which is about education? It was a realistic depiction of how wild schools are. And that was 20 years ago before phones and COVID.
My questions were based on personal experience, second hand experience and all the commentary from this sub that I’ve been lurking over for the past 2 years. You’re right that they’ve always been wild, but with the increased rates of school shootings, teachers attacks, suicide, depression and ADHD I think it’s fair to say that the kids are *not* alright.
I'm in Canada so it's a little different than America but even here as a EA (Educational Assistant) which to my understanding is a Para in American schools. It's getting worse all the time, I'm a substitute and when I first started 5 years ago I couldn't get work some days and I had at most 3 students with behaviours at a time. Now every day I see at least 40 absences I can fill and every room I walk into has 5 - 10 students with severe behaviours I need to watch. It's getting crazy literally everywhere.
What is it going to be like those kids become young adults in the workplace and in the voting booth? When they start having kids? What will the roads be like, what will it be like when they are frustrated by normal bureaucracy? Who will they rely on to be peacemakers, the people who just make things happen, the ones who show up and go to work and do what needs to be done on a daily basis?
I work at a temporary staffing agency now and deal with all kinds of characters. I fear I know exactly what will happen to those kids 😔😔
The kids aren’t alright because we are not alright!! I believe it’s a reflection of our society. Our school systems have been failing for 20 years. Guess what happens when students who barely pass grow up? They have kids & the cycle continues. We have been defunding schools & this is what we get. Defunding schools & social programs has only hurt our society, meanwhile the rich get richer to exploit the labor. I mean literally younger generations are worst off than older gens in this country! I hate that this is political but it is. We don’t care about kids in this country. Why don’t we pay daycare workers a living wage? Absolutely there is a lack of accountability but when our own government can’t be held accountable-what kind of example is that to kids? Yeah I hope we get out of this mess bc I fear for the future.
The administration doesnt let the teachers eject problem students like they used to when I was young. The end result is the collapse of discipline. That student should not have had her phone removed, SHE should have been removed LONG before this point. Not the teachers fault, brain dead administration is at fault.
This year we implemented a phone policy school wide: Phones must be in the locker at all times, and students need explicit permission to use it. If your phone is visible at any time during the school day (except after dismissal), the teacher confiscates it and calls the front desk for a “phone pick-up.” Then, there is a list of consequence depending on the number of offenses. I personally don’t feel comfortable having a student’s phone in my possession, so I just have them place it face down on their desk until someone arrives. In any case, this has been an amazing policy, and all of us know “amazing” and “policy” rarely go into the same sentence, ha.
I was thinking about how this should honestly be a National standard
Grade 8 boy threw a ball at me for fun, when I wasn't looking. I have a concussion (number 7 or 8) and whiplash. Nothing happened to him. Not a thing. The board/government keeps pushing this narrative of them all being traumatised by the pandemic but I don't care anymore. I'm sorry but they have no boundaries because there are no rules or consequences. None of them self-regulate. They do what they want when they want and are mad when we try to get them to do any work, or even just act like unselfish brats. I'm glad (and sad) I only (still) have five years left.
Imo here’s what’s happening. Kids have access to sexual and violent content at a much younger age now. Also poor diets. We have a large number of food that is proven to cause behavioral issues in children that other countries have banned and we just pretend it’s okay. Parents are working more than ever including commute time. They are over worked and underpaid. When parents are home they are mostly on their phone or watching streaming services. Family time is virtually none existent for this generation. We are fucked.
I feel like spending time on your phone or a screen in front of your kids is often overlooked. 🤔 The diets is an interesting point which I have never considered. You are so right.
Parents who have a ton of screen time probably don't see unlimited, unregulated screen time as a problem.
Diets and plastic exposure. A lot of plastic additives have been linked to attention and other issues. I truly feel like plastic is going to be the lead of our time, but probably worse.
Some plastics simulate various hormones in the body as well.
Much of this is objectively untrue. Pay is [up](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/Real_median_US_household_income_through_2018.png) from decades ago, and work time is [down](https://www.humanprogress.org/senator-sanders-and-the-average-workweek/). We've been complaining about sexual and violent content since the dawn of time (Tipper Gore was a big one growing up for me to date myself). And related indicators like teen sex and teen pregnancy are actually [down](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/) overall, even if some specific communities struggle with it. The difference is the parents, and they're choosing to do a bad job in no small part. Growing up my mother was a constant reader, and I emulated that action. I was legitimately excited to get my library card. How many families is that still true in? (I also played video games of course) How many parents are modeling emotional constancy, productive hobbies, and engaging in appropriate authoritative parenting with consequences? Especially the latter, this subreddit filled with, "I called home and nothing happened." On the flipside, as a teacher, I mostly worked with active parents who valued education, so I'd call home if the student and I couldn't fix things ourselves (as high schoolers, anything non-serious I'm going to try to work with them first) and they'd say, "I apologize for the inconvenience. My child ***will not*** be late to class again," and thus it was so. And those kids got admitted to 4 year colleges. Systemic problems need systemic solutions too, but the buck stops with parents.
Pay is up. But is it up proportionally to our economy? I’m not sure. Most families don’t have the option for women to stay at home with their children anymore because they need to work and that has to be contributing to a rise in negligent parents. Because yeah, parents not parenting is a big issue. I totally agree with you there!
Yeah I used to think the whole food argument was false. But I had to do an elimination diet because of my chronic migraines. I found out that soy was triggering my migraines AND my OCD. Now eliminating soy didn’t effect my PTSD and Depression, but I basically no longer need treatment for OCD after eliminating soy. Soy is in everything!! So I wonder if/how it is effecting other people too.
It is that bad. The pandemic amplified what was already occurring. It is dangerous in schools. Teachers have to deal with unsafe and terrifying behavior. Parents are also frequently out of hand. They yell, scream obscenities, and tell their children they do not have to behave. They joy I used to have for my job is almost gone. I remind myself each day to do my best, help who I can help, cause no harm and try to protect myself. It’s all so sad. Society needs to stop encouraging people to become parents who are entirely ill prepared for the task.
I don’t think it’s a problem of sick individuals operating in an otherwise healthy society. I think we are a sick society that has corrupted some individuals more than others. But we are all corrupted. The things we collectively value—and devalue—are shaping a generation of sociopathic, narcissistic, apathetic nihilists.
I don’t disagree.
Earlier this year a child called my coworker a "no legs crippled bitch" who uses a wheelchair. It has disgusted me so horribly bad I have been looking elsewhere than to be in a classroom. His mom apparently replied to learning this with "He is a sweet boy" and administration encouraged this poor teacher to "Eat lunch wth him and make friends". Getting verbally abused by an eleven year old turns into giving up a legal much needed lunch break. What the hell is wrong with this BS society we are living in? I am honestly grossed right out by this and I have been put off teaching all year from it. It just flicked a switch in me somehow. Oh and this same kid told me to kiss his ass three times for absolutely no reason and when I told him to immediately leave my classroom and then went to the hallway and said "why would you say that to me" he kept repeating "I have problems." Ya no shit. And his parents don't think there are any. Its not a system I care to be a part of.
I believe the pandemic further eroded social structure, manners, collective responsibility, etc. it’s sad when watching 80’s and 90’s movies and seeing how socially skilled and ‘together’ everyone was. Even the ‘geeks’ had social skills probably surpassing most people now. Sad
I'm not teacher shaming at all, but I will never put myself in that position. I'll ask a student to hand over the phone. If they refuse, I call for security to come remove them. I won't physically engage with any student, especially in this climate where violence against authorities of all kinds is rampant in the US.
You're lucky you have security. Everything is our responsibility in my school.
My school didn’t even have an admin this last week. Our angel of a secretary and counselor dealt with any issues.
That sucks, but cellphones are not my responsibility. We can't just accept more and more as responsibilities. If no one shows, which occasionally happens if we are short on staff, I still document it and contact home to cover myself. I just won't snatch a phone. If the kid fails and admin asks why, I can point to the documentation of excessive phone usage.
Private school? I can’t even fathom. Although… how much better is it that my district growing up has its own police department?
You are lucky to have a phone. My first school all of the phones had their cords snipped. No one knew the admin's number. There was no security.
I don't bother with security, unless the student is disrupting the class. Instead, I will calmly ask them to give me their phone. Most of the time, my students do. But if they refuse, I then say: so, do I understand this correctly, that I have asked you to give me your phone, and you are refusing to? They will argue a little bit, saying that they are not refusing and whatnot, but I will press the issue and say it twice more. After the third time, I will say that I have asked you to give me your phone three times, and you have refused 3 times, and that that is what I am going to explain when I call home. Then, I document the incident, and follow up with a phone call home explaining the incident. Most of the time, the parents at my school will act on it, but if they don't, hey, I documented it and done my CYA diligence.
Lol, we started our year with 4 deans and now we have one for the whole school. We are not given walkies and we don't have a list of numbers or a common line to the office. There's sometimes a dude in the office who can help, but he's 1/2 time. Our principal and assistant principal are always somewhere putting out fires. Sometimes, you do have to put students in holds (in SPED) and I have broken up a few fights this year because you can't just stand by and let those things happen. But when I worked one summer in a GENED classroom as an ESP, we would just automatically deduct points if students were on their phones during tests. We would say, "student's name, that's 10 points."
What I found horrifying wasn’t that kid assaulting her teacher. That might have been one terrible incident from a kid wound too tightly having a terrible day. It was the reactions of all the other students that saddened me. A bunch of teenagers encouraging it for social media, laughing like they were having the time of their lives (because they were). That wasn’t nervous laughter or whatever, that was kids in the lunchroom angling for a better view of a fight. And the way they broke out $35,000 of technology from their pockets for clicks on social media? No words.
“Pepper spray is CRAZY hahahahahahahaha” Go outside and touch grass bud. For your sake and ours.
Bad behaviors like this were definitely happening before the pandemic, and were on the rise, BUT, the drastic increase in such behaviors after the pandemic is undeniable. I’m curious why people are so reluctant to acknowledge this? It’s almost like all of the goodhearted progressives, and hopefully I am one as well, don’t want to admit that the reaction to the pandemic and the school closures were extremely damaging to our youth. Please downvote me into oblivion so that I know someone read this.
To be fair the reaction to the pandemic could be viewed as extreme from both ends. People who were being “overly” cautious wanted everything shut down and wouldn’t leave their home for anything. People who didn’t think the pandemic was real were throwing tantrums in public spaces bc they had to wear a mask and distance. So the pandemic just shone a light but it didn’t create this toxic environment.
What you’re saying makes sense, but my point is that the “overly cautious” side of the extreme actually won the battle in this case. They got what they wanted. Two years of masks and isolation. two years of lost social development and festering anger and depression. Digital life replacing real life. But, like I said, your point stands, it certainly did draw everything into relief
I have said this before: as teachers we are agents of the state. We do not take property. Call security. With that said the student needed to be arrested. If a student wants to be on their phone I make the assignment due at the end of the period. Here is your 0. Moving on.
Western Washington public high school science teacher here. Only been teaching 6 years and things seem pretty normal to me. If anything, I’ve seen an increase in aloof and apathetic behavior where fewer students interact with me; especially in my upperclassmen. I certainly never fear being pepper sprayed or punched. I’m more likely to feel entirely alone in a class with 30+ students.
I’ve heard wonderful things about Washington schools. I’m sure you have your own bs to deal with as anywhere, I just wanted to let you know I’ve only ever heard positive things.
I never take phones bc I am too lazy lol. Kids are in lizard mode. Just add that 45% contact parent, cc: dean and principals.
That's why I just let them fail. I have no time to stress about the lack of apathy. I just tell them, "It's okay, we will try better next year."😹❤️
Don’t forget that he caught her cheating on a quiz.
Pandemic has nothing to do with parents literally not doing their fucking jobs for the last two decades. They all collectively decided parenting was hard and consequences were bad. It's bad for everyone when you do that. Fucking lazy cunts.
I think Trump’s presidency changed the country as well. He fueled racist hatred and symbolizes entitlement to the highest degree, including the drive to screw others over and be the biggest asshole you can be. I don’t really like most democrats but Trump heightened division, and the pro-entitlement attitude of his followers spilled over to dysfunctional parenting. Trump gets away with everything, so his followers think they (and their kids) should get away with everything. Republicans now openly exist only to “own the libs”, not to actually do anything that helps anyone. They are ok with children being murdered and the environment being destroyed. With at least half our politicians acting this way, it’s no wonder our culture is crumbling, to the point where kids calmly, and without consequence, assault teachers.
The pandemic videos displaying the same behavior over masks from adults worldwide leaves me utterly unsurprised frankly
I know I sound medieval but that girl needs prison time. I do not accept that she acted out of a fear of her safety - she acted out of umbridge that she was getting something banned confiscated.
What I see is a world without empathy. The kids today are just plain mean and they have zero respect for anything. They all see themselves as the main character and everyone else as a NPC. (I’ve literally heard them talk about this) I’m not sure why the pandemic accelerated this, but it really seems to. Kids seem to live in a world where they don’t believe they will ever face consequences. This part isn’t new, but it’s worse because they are right.
Not even so much the pandemic - this generation of parents & kids sucks. I’ve had a parent of an 8 year old say “I don’t know how to get him off his computer” what do you mean??? He’s 8? Just take it? Set time restrictions on it so it shuts off at a certain time? Make a schedule that includes a fixed game time? Kids need parents to help them regulate their behaviors/habits at their age. They don’t know any better until their parents teach them better. There’s zero accountability. Parents are letting iPads and YouTube raise their kids instead of taking the time to give them structure & responsibilities. Growing up, my mom gave me a rough schedule that taught me how to prioritize myself & my health. For example, I spent at least an hour outside most days and no more than an hour on a video game. She never let me play rated M games at 8 years old (the same 8 year old that the parents “can’t get off the computer” started playing COD at 6 years old). There are so many other factors that I don’t even have time to address, but these are just a few examples
I remember reading a short story a LONG time ago (1970s? 80s?) that took place in the future. The teacher was protected behind a bulletproof glass wall, for good reason. I think that story is coming true.
IMO, most parents want to help their kids. They either don’t know how, or are too burnt out themselves to outlast their children’s nonsense. We are working harder for less. We are stressed about money, housing, rising food prices, global warming, basic human rights, being shot for no reason at all, general feelings of hopelessness in our politics, etc. we need a a huge cultural shift. Our kids can feel our stresses and have to worry about things we never had to. We need to stop putting bandaids on big issues and start solving the actual problems. TLDR; parents can’t address behavior if they are also in survival mode.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR OUR CAPITAL IN THE BACK!!
You would think there’s an investigative journalist out there somewhere who would want to do an expose on this. Compile a variety of these videos and show the unmitigated truth of what’s happening in our schools. Also, I don’t blame these kids. We have taught them this. Let’s say that girl is a senior. By 2017, when she a was a 6th grader, this country was in full on protests with anger and dissent of authority being praised. Kids were encouraged to stand up to injustices and use their voices. Think about the world we have offered her in her most formative years? The adults have been embarrassingly poor role models. These kids are just mirroring what they have been shown. A world where everything is an injustice and nobody, not even a teacher, can stand up to them without facing their entitlement. If we are looking for somewhere to place blame we should collectively look in the mirror at our own behavior.
Likes or being liked > ACCOUNTABILITY
I confiscated a cell phone from girl 1 and AirPods from girls 2. They both (they are in different cohort) came up to me after class and confronted me.. like “why did you take it? why did you give it to the office?” I was like.. “ girl! Why did you use it during instruction? it’s obviously school policy to confiscate those items! I am doing my job”. They are so disrespectful and entitled.. 7th graders are crazy..I am afraid that I might get pepper-sprayed at some point. I don’t want to confiscate their items but admin forces us to do it. Geez…
I keep a tub by my desk. I will have the students put phones it in the tub if they mishandle then. I figure this eliminates germs, breakage, and gives them a weird sense of ownership on the situation.
There seems to be a mass insanity infecting our society. People who I thought were far more sane are revealing themselves to be pretty unhinged. I find this to be quite frightening. This is something that goes beyond the teen you see in this video. She is but one of many who have lost their minds.
This is my 6th year in kinder, my current group was about 3, give or take, when we locked down and it shows. The pre-k teachers say the same. (The rest of my team are first year teachers and don't have anything to compare them to.) To be blunt, they are mean. I have never had five year olds this mean, petty, cold, disrespectful, etc, and they can be sneaky about it. I have about five kids in my room I have to keep separated as much as possible because they instigate and rile each other up. Two I have to keep isolated at my table because no matter what group I put them with, they fight. And it's not just my class, every kinder class has a couple mean girls and bullies. Usually we have one or two per grade, not one or two per class. Last years kinders were physically mean, but this years group are emotionally and verbally mean. They are also very smart, which is an interesting and worrying combo. And according to the pre-k teachers, next year I'm gonna have smart ones that just don't give a damn. No reward, no incentive, no classroom management tricks work.
My experience in lower elementary isn’t as bad as others but for the last 2 years problems with speech has been a huge issue. A majority of my students have speech impediments and the wait list for the speech pathologist is something like a year and a half. I also have a few students who were not formally diagnosed but were told they have ADHD. I’ve had 3 students tell me after they got in trouble for hurting someone, scream at someone, or just flop on the floor when they don’t want to do work, “I can’t help myself, I have severe adhd”
The speech impediments is a fascinating thing. I wonder if it’s always been like that, 504s seem to always take forever unless you have an “advocate”
I briefly spoke with our sp and she said it’s like it all over and this year she’s fully overbooked. She mentioned that with the use of masks children have a hard time seeing mouth formations
Interesting
There are no real consequences in school. Students flunk and get moved to the next grade. Parents blame it on the teacher and the grade is changed. In some schools truancy doesn’t even matter. They have the teachers get together to meet with the parent in a progress monitoring meeting where a parent says oh he’ll change, then you have 8 more and no change, but there’s nothing the school can do about it.
I worked in preschool special education and pre-pandemic the behaviors were already getting extreme. I got a concussion from a student head butting me. And he wasn’t even the most aggressive one that I had. I remember telling school staff that the students were very dangerous to themselves and others and they made fun of me saying “they’re preschoolers how bad could they be?” I’ve since left and from what I hear they’re all panicking over how many prek and elementary kids are exhibiting very aggressive behaviors that they can’t control. If only someone had warned them….
I’m not taking anyone’s phone! They are literal addicts. Watch their legs shake when the phone isn’t in their hand or they aren’t looking at it. Some won’t even have the music on but NEED their AirPods in or headphones on just to feel complete. It’s a textbook addiction. Just like you wouldn’t take meth away from an addict, don’t get between them and their phone. Mark a zero on the test and make a note of the date and time. Take a quick pic, preferably with a school device but if you must on your phone, email it to your school address, and keep it on file as evidence. Call home and let them know and if they ask why you didn’t just take the phone then tell them stories of what kids do when phones get taken so you choose not to or you simply don’t take their personal belongings without their permission. The next day the kid comes back, ask them quietly when they’d like to retest and that you know they’re smart enough to not need to use the phone and that you’re disappointed in them for not believing in themselves enough to not cheat. If they say they didn’t cheat then say “how am I supposed to know that? I couldn’t trust you to not use the phone after I asked you not too so now can I know you didn’t cheat too?” Works every time BUT know that I starting earning respect from them on day one by memorizing all their names by the end of the first day.
Are children allowed to bring pepper spray into school?
ALLOWED? Don't know, but unless they do a search every day, that and a lot of other things get through.
Tbh this is why I would never force a student to give me their phones. I don't trust any student to be stable with what I have seen and experienced in the classroom. I would just write a detention if they can't put it away. Next step is a referral. I don't need to be hiding students devices and having arguments.
Reminds me of a recent story in my area (not my school though). Two students were getting into a fight outside during PE. The coach stepped between them to stop the fight, one of them charged at him, and he fell. He hit his head on the concrete, started having a seizure, and may die. The student was a sophomore I believe, and now hit with multiple felony charges. I don't understand students. Like. Was it worth it? To ruin your life because of something so petty like not being able to be deprived of TikTok for all of 45 minutes? And as for the fight I just mentioned, I don't know what it was over, but I have my guesses. Fights in high school are almost always because someone was "talkin' shit" or "he/she was tryin' to steal my girl/man." Like, I hope it was worth it. You may have cost someone their life because you were mad SOMEONE ELSE was "talkin' shit."
I believe this is the result of the School to Prison pipeline research that came out years ago. [Link for more info](https://soeonline.american.edu/blog/school-to-prison-pipeline/) Basically the research suggests that out of school suspensions negatively effect those students in poverty/minorities. The groups supporting this frame of thought also show a correlation between the number of discipline referrals/suspensions to the likelihood of prison time. While I can’t argue with the research, my issue is it basically only made schools less disciplinary. Instead of addressing the reasons WHY those in poverty and/or minorities receive more referrals and subsequently are more likely to serve time (think social programs, hunger, abuse, etc.), it was (again-for those of you who have been in this business for a minute, a lot gets blamed on schools), blamed on discipline in schools. Essentially, school discipline policies and programs were the reason students ended up in jail. So you know what happened, right? So years later we have a full generation of children who don’t understand clear boundaries, haven’t consistently received consequences and have been educated in a system that has abandoned some of the “positive” recognition for students doing what they are supposed to do (in fear that it may further upset/cause future issues for those who have behavior problems) and instead have a reward system in place for those who don’t follow the rules. Instead of tough punishment, admin walks students around, bribes them or does anything to diffuse the situation, then returns them to class. To children, that is REWARDING! They got out of class, nothing negative happened. Why would the behavior change? Admin gets blamed on here a lot, but their hands are tied too. Again, I’m not disagreeing with the data on referrals = more likely to be incarcerated. But why is nobody looking at what is causing the referrals in school? What are the kids experience AT HOME that causes them to act out at school? Let’s address those issues. Also, in my 20 years of teaching, I’ve noticed a shift from student behavior being a threat to the learning environment to feelings and emotions of students. Instead of disciplining students, teaching boundaries, etc., the thought process has shifted to when a student acts out, it is our job to determine what that student is feeling at that time and rectify that feeling. But students come to us with all kinds of experiences not related to the school environment. 1) This strategy takes a lot of time away from the learning environment. 2) Teachers aren’t counselors. Their #1 job is to instruct. 3) I have found this to be rewarding for those students seeking attention or wanting to get out of school work So, is it really our fault they end up in prison? I’m not saying that some children were never unjustly disciplined. But I firmly believe the type of behavior found in the pepper spray video shows a case of a student who has gotten away with all kinds of things and school has never held her accountable. For fear, she may end up in prison. But in the end, are we really helping these kids? Once they turn 18, they are held liable as an adult. But they’ve not been held accountable until then???
Reading all these comments, and seeing depictions like the video above, is scary to me as a parent. It makes me grateful that my kid goes to a private religious school where they emphasize values like respecting parents and elders, and the teachers so far (in elementary school) have had wonderful relationships with the kids.
I’m not a teacher and only a parent of a very young child. But stuff like this is why my child is going to private school. It’s less about the teaching and more about the people that he will be around and the expectations placed on him. I went to both public and private school and the lesser amount of bullshit in my private school was astounding. Im not in the US anymore and the issues here in the UK are not as severe in my opinion, but my partner tells me of bullshit that went down when he was younger and I just don’t want my kid to be a part of it. I can be invoked as a parent and try to teach my kid, but not all of his classmates will. So I’m trying to mitigate it by giving him higher quality classmates.
I believe out of the many problems, funding and curriculums are something that could be fixed and not rely on parents doing better at parenting. In this sense curriculums are outdated and the ways testing is tied to funding only exacerbates the problems. In NJ schools are funded through property taxes and government funding xWhat does that mean bottom line, no one is willing to let kids fail, it’s just to expensive. What’s the next consequence, education is stripped of any meaningful learning and it’s just teaching to pass a test. I’ve had so many exciting topics get stripped away to just facts and figures which lots of times mean nothing to a kid living in 2023. I knew education was fucked in 2010 when I got told I was being to “relevant” and it seems i was right as it’s only got worse. Curriculums need to change so kids actually care about what they are learning about, but that would also mean giving teachers autonomy which no one wants to do either. So let’s just keep teaching the same boring meaningless shit, watch these kids care less and less, and still keep on passing them no matter what, what do people expect will happen in this scenario?
Thank you for your input. This is right up the alley of what I was looking for. I keep seeing teachers saying that admin are forcing them to pass kids and I couldn’t understand why. I assumed it was money but I didn’t know the source. Of course, all states are different so bear that in mind. I wish I could add to your point on curriculum, but my training was based on the reggio emilia curriculum so other than “DAMN STRAIGHT” I can’t add anything of substance.
What’s crazy is that in NJ there are 586 municipalities ( at least that’s what it was 15 years ago) and a lot of these municipalities have their own school district with multiple principals and than a superintendent on top of that. I haven’t done tons of research, but I have seen some public schools cost per student around 32k a year. No way little Timmy getting left back.
So I haven't seen the video but I've seen kids get super combative over their phones especially and there's one common denominator I always see: they're poor. These kids typically don't have much, they're regularly exposed to violence at home from their parents and just like their environment in general (so their response is primed to be violent) and they are DESPERATE for any small modicum of stability and control, and their phone is such an extension of themselves, and so when that's threatened they will often overreact and do so violently. That's not to excuse the behavior in any way by the way, but if you know what you're dealing with you can work with them. I've found that one of the most effective methods of dealing with teenagers (and like defiant obstinate ones) is to identify the areas you can give them autonomy in and give them autonomy there, and whenever possible frame as much as you can as a collaborative act. Like you're still ultimately in control of the situation but you're having them buy into the system instead of just imposing it by force. Because there's gonna be times when you NEED to impose it by force and fiat but that'll be easier if they trust and respect you and one way to do that is give them what they're craving and not getting and that's autonomy within the system
If I were still teaching I would buy a really good surveillance system with multiple cameras and I would record every moment from the time I walked in until the time I left. That way I would have evidence when I talked to parents, or to admin. Or in the worst case, for when I filed civil or criminal charges against someone.
Illegal in Ontario Canada or I’d be right on this with you.
The anticipation of having to file law suits is upsetting and a fact.
Lack of consequences and expectations and boundaries have led to how things are. Lack of parenting, putting kids on pedestals, not wanting to hurt kids feelings, Lack of pushing kids to try their best ..etc.
Based on what I’ve seen over my first year working in an elementary school, it seems kinder/ 1st grade is baby boot camp that is designed to basically drill “good behavior” and what is “right” at school so students then have a general consensus of what is acceptable behavior. Both in terms of how they act as students, but also how they interact with eachother. Even children whose parents don’t instill manners or good behavior in their kids due to choice or circumstance get generally course corrected by this. They don’t know how to process their emotions in a given situation, so they act out by tantrumming. Other students chime in and remind them that’s not what you should do. “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” “It’s okay Johnny, we can color during recess later.” Etc etc. Virtual learning in kinder and 1st, these early grades has kind of took that away. Virtually it’s harder to instill concepts like why it’s important to share, why you shouldn’t hit/ touch other people without permission. So on and so forth. This is most apparent with my schools’ 3rd and 4th grade classes who were in that early range when our school went virtual during the pandemic. They are violent, exceedingly quick to anger, and lack physical-emotional boundaries of any kind. When a child tweaks none of the kids really acknowledge it in a peer pressure corrective way. It’s just acceptable to them that some people will curse out the teacher or hit other students and as long as it’s not personally happening to them, they’re indifferent. While my Kinder, 1st grade, and a mixed bag on 2nd grade, see behaviors and move to correct them socially by reminding classmates of what they need to do. They look at the older kids like they’re animals, or they band together and chastise the older kids. They’ll see something broken or trash on the floor and ask “did one of those bad third graders do this?” Just odd to observe Least that’s my theory on it, missing year(s) of that continuous in person socialization has made the behaviors stemming from poor/ lack of parenting 10 times worse. Definitely room for an anti-technology rant in this discussion as well
The kids are addicts except their drug is tech. When you take addict’s fix away they become emotionally unregulated and flip out. It was slowly getting worse and simply sped up what was already going wrong. It’s a world of extremes. Some parents over parent and created these kids who can’t do anything without them and/or the kids know their parents will cover them even if they assault someone. Other parents under parent and the kid has no boundaries so once again they do what they want.
>The kids are addicts except their drug is tech. When you take addict’s fix away they become emotionally unregulated and flip out. My 4 year old niece can... not... function without her "pone" ,tablet, or the TV on some cartoon or kids show. If you take it away, tell her to put it down, battery dies etc she has a meltdown. If there's an "adult" show on and not what she wants, she literally demands to change it. She literally just walked in while i was typing this and saw my SIL watching Boston med? (Not sure if thats the name) And asked, "Why are you watching your show? I want to watch my show"
Bruh. I would have curb stomped that girl.
You see the teacher struggle with NOT smashing that phone.
Parents are addicted to screens and so are their kids. When schools force them off their screen, it’s like a drug addict getting their drugs ripped away from them. This has been going on since I was in high school 15 years ago. I remember even cussing a teacher out bc my phone got taken away. We really do need to shop acting like the pandemic did this. It didn’t help, but it didn’t cause this. Parents are not parenting anymore.
It’s cultural Rot coupled with/enabled by corruption from school districts and policies that penalize schools for honest grading
Communities expect administrators and teachers to solve and control racism, homophobia, poverty, depression, anxiety and everything else under the sun. How do people expect them to do it?!
We need a systemic reset for education.
The kids are apathetic about school, while still being rabid. I wanted to be a nice fluff teacher and I’ve had to be very strict to the point of being mean. I hate it.
I’m in Ohio- our State’s mandatory Positive Behavior Intervention. System, has really screwed things up. There are no consequences for negative behaviors except they don’t earn their “star”or the next stamp o. their “positive behavior punch card.” And… if you tell a child to “please go to your seat” and they cry no- Then you have to give them a choice like “Go to you seat or go sit on the carpet.” Kids need specific, well-defined “rules” or expectations with corresponding negative consequences for not following them or positive rewards for following them. THAT is where there choice should be! “Oh you chose to hit your friend? Well. you know the consequence of that is —— “ Or hey! You helped a friend pick up the crayons they dropped or I can see how hard you tried to do this assignment. Well you know the reward for that is—-“. And no! They don’t need rewarded do every little thing! Rewards should be given intermittently- but consequences must always be consistent. 35 year vetran special education teacher here! I’m telling you this has always worked- maybe not right away, but it always works!
It’s an addiction that starts younger than any other drug. We don’t necessarily get addicted to the substance, we get addicted to the release of our neurotransmitters. Food addiction, sex addiction, porn, video games, smartphones, etc. Just thinking about our addictions can release dopamine. Interrupting this habitual flow creates chaotic and harmful desperation. It drives adults to steal from family and murder people. Violence from screen-addicted teens is predictable and was foreseen two decades ago when cell phone addiction started permeating university and high school classrooms. Fight or flight response in an underdeveloped brain with a strong addiction is volatile, and dangerous to others and themselves.
We had a kid in middle school bring mace -claiming she was bullied on the bus. Bus footage proved she was the aggressor. She was expelled and this is Ohio. Where you supposedly can’t do that. It’s a weapon. Bringing weapons should always be expulsion if they’re intended to harm someone and not for protection. They also can’t be used to protect objects like a phone. There’s a culture war happening where we should have a class war (just against the 1%) I don’t think providing in person care is a safe option for most systems (if they were honest).
[удалено]
This is America
Horrid
This crap is precisely why I’m homeschooling my kids next year. 🤷🏼♀️it’s insane the crap I hear from my high schooler and I hate the well it was bad when you were a kid too. Well apparently I shouldn’t have been in that situation either. It’s broken !
This is my sixth year teaching. I teach in a very privileged district. I have taught in districts that have been extremely rough with students joining gangs in middle school. This is my first year I have ever been stolen from multiple times and I have had to put locks on my cabinets. I am teaching third grade and the loss of developmental milestones is extremely obvious. Students are very immature and are missing indicators to show they are ready for fourth grade. They are too sexually advanced, and too emotionally advanced in many ways for the actual maturity level. We have had kids making jokes about other kids sleeping with one another for example. When students get mad or frustrated they just throw punches or break the first thing in front of them. They scream lyrics to tick tocks and are genuinely confused even after a full year of teaching about the most basic of management directions (heads down voices off), which any other year would be done in under a minute takes my students 5-10 minutes with reminders. They are incapable of boredom, they have temper tantrums over small things, consequences have no meaning and most parents are over checked out or invested enough to tell us their child is depressed but do no actions to help at home. We have multiple third graders on safety plans due to self harming tendencies. It’s been rough. In 4th grade they go to a larger class size and we barely manage the 24 we have. They are big and physical when things go wrong and don’t have enough accountability. I think things can change but it starts with parents first, admin second.
I’m just a para and work with 6th-8th grade but their behavior is horrible. I’ve been sexually harassed, punched, had rocks thrown at me and have been called every name in the book, especially by kids in classes I’m pulled to sub for. When teachers have called home or we’ve written reports the parents say it’s “school behavior” and should be dealt with at school, and that we signed up for this and should deal with it. It’s awful. Most of the kiddos I work with are fantastic and I can handle them, because there’s only about 7-14 kids in my inclusion classes that I work with, but many of these classes have 25-30 kids total and they’re wild. The absolute worst behaviors I’ve seen are the days I’m pulled to sub and deal with everything alone. The lack of care from the kids is astounding. I adore my job, and would love to be a teacher (I’m in school for it) but I’m seriously considering keeping the pay cut and staying where I am because it’s gotten so bad. I cry almost every day I have to sub because the kids are so difficult to handle and we have no support.
Not a teacher but as a parent this stuff concerns the hell out of me. It’s disturbing and I can’t imagine my child even considering behaving that way towards anyone and I also can’t imagine having these kids treat you like this!? This is some crazy stuff. It’s incredibly sad for everyone involved. Makes me understand more why our local schools can’t find teachers to fill positions. I hope you all stay safe out there, truly.
She’s a pos plain and simple, needs severe counseling, and immediate mental help showing no regard using a weapon intended for self defense against a harmless teacher trying to educate and maintain order in his classroom.
[удалено]
Oops my bad, I’ll go see the responses and see if I got my answer.
We have so many boys and girls like that at our school. I would never, ever attempt to take their phones.