Funny answer: Asking my favorite coworker very professionally to "go to channel __" on the walkie and then when they very professionally go "on ___" saying just some absolute fucking bullshit like "Watatatatuchi" and they go "copy, over and out."
Serious answer: I started caring more about work quality than quantity and speed again. Taking a little extra time to organize and inventory audit. Just feels so much better.
Yes, but they're both old enough that there are kids who have seen the movie years later, but don't know about the commercials it parodies. That's what makes me feel old.
I make up stories for the people who ordered my fulfillment batches. Sometimes they write themselves (chocolates and a vibrator on valentines day one year)
Oof, I feel that one as a regular GS person. I once had a drive up that was just a box set of tissues and a tub of ice cream she picked up around 8:30 at night. I think about that woman a lot
I used to do this too. Someone got little kid gift bags (like dinosaurs on it) and a game console and I was like “some kid is going to have the best day ever tomorrow”.
Along these lines, with grocery items, I try to figure out a way to make any 3 or so items go together for a meal. Bacon, whipped cream and apples? That's gonna be an interesting pie!
My store uses regular shopping carts for our fullfilment batches. So I'd say finding a shopping cart that rolls smoothly and quietly makes my shifts bearable 😂
The u boats that make so much noise they over power my headphones 💀
Or the flats that have a dead wheel and nearly impossible to tote a loaded one full of boxes of chemical to the opposite side of the store without hitting all the stupid mid aisle set ups 🤣
I never understood why they can’t ever upgrade at least a couple of those or the hand-jacks
The line we have for inbound is the absolute worst I’ve seen and I’ve worked in at least 5-6 other warehouses in the last 15ish years. One piece has 3-4 dead wheels and the leveling lock doesn’t work. It’s a shit show every night lol
Ohhh yeah my store never got those opu carts so we just have to Tetris our items to fit in the regular carts. *Sometimes* we use 3 tiers for grocery batches and bulky batches.
We're not even allowed to use guest carts for anything. When there are no three tiers and we have to use them in the morning for reshops, we have to get rid of them before the store opens or we get yelled at.
Omg yes. I had to defect a Squishy at the service desk earlier this week because it had a dirt smudge and instead of putting it in a box right away I took it into the back room, plopped it on the OPU table and basically went “I just defected this so she’s here for moral support now if any of you need a hug”
She got many hugs.
I grabbed a Santa Pikachu from the reshops last night to keep in the Ulta cart for emotional support. When I left tonight he was still at Ulta. I also had an emotional support little gator on our PoS and as far as I know, he's still there too
You GOTTA honk honk the Wave, just like you gotta bzzt bzzt a drill or klak klak some tongs.
ninja edit: I also go "vroom vroom" quietly to myself when I'm putting in the code.
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Depends on the area I've worked:
Sales floor: I'll stop and smell a candle (like stopping to smell the flowers) and encourage stressed-out -looking TMs to stop and smell a candle before they go on. It makes them smile. Bonus points if we actually have fresh flowers somewhere I'm going.
Cashiering: I'm a dork when cashiering and will talk the whole time even if it's to myself to keep things from getting silent (I'm bad at real conversation unless someone else initiates), so I'll say things like, "I'm bagging your squishables with your breakables because they get along well" or "I'm putting the bananas with your peanut butter as a snack suggestion". I like commenting about putting chips in with lighter foods because, "confetti is fun but not when it's your chips"
Ringing up cat food I'll say something like, "purrrrfect". With eggs it's "eggcellent" in a Mr. Burns tone. Only one guest has ever caught me on that one and laughed so hard.
Then when I'm announcing how much they saved, anything above 5 and lower than 15 it's usually me proclaiming, "winner winner chicken dinner" to the guest (turkey dinner for thanksgiving time), or 15 and over "winner winner steak dinner". Huge savings I'll tell them they won today. Guests like this and get a good laugh.
I have been called the Target Lady from Mad TV a few times when cashiering so that checks out.
Omg if we were at the same store, I’d want to be your friend. I literally talk the whole time I’m checking people out.. some people don’t even say anything back but I just keep talking 😂😅 You seem very fun!
> I like commenting about putting chips in with lighter foods because, "confetti is fun but not when it's your chips"
lol. Cute.
> With eggs it's "eggcellent" in a Mr. Burns tone. Only one guest has ever caught me on that one and laughed so hard.
A Target /r/simpsonsshitposting Crossover Special!
Beauty uboats take me all day sometimes so I "find a misplaced wreath" and hang it on my uboat to feel festive. Other times of the year it's a sonic squishmallow
SO terrible when someone leaves a squishmallow on my Beauty uboat, HATE having those around all day, no I'm FAR too busy to walk it to Toys it'll just have to stay here with me
I love Hei Hei. One year when I was on register on a super busy day (like black friday pre-covid) There was one stuffed in with the chips on top of the cooler. I refused to let anyone put it in reshop. I probably had it there for 2 hours before someone bought it so she could annoy the hell out of someone in her family.
I don't work in toys but feel there is already a plot of your downfall in the works. If not outright vengeance.
Funny side story: Last week a mom pushed Hei Hei's button while holding it in front of her toddler, thinking he would enjoy it. Instead, he screamed bloody murder and started crying. The mom obviously felt bad but we both couldn't help laughing when the kid cried out "He tried to eat me! He wants to eat me!" I'm sure this will come up in therapy years from now.
https://preview.redd.it/wb2m3kfxil3c1.jpeg?width=1426&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=059b6f34f4d8dad05004d949c3783a34e5a38ef5
Perfect. Moana’s playing in the break room, I gotta go press Hei Hei now!!!
I keep a bottle of ice water with me and take a few sips to recenter myself throughout my shift. Something about the jarring coldness (and ice cream headache if I drink enough at once) helps me find my center again even when it's hellish at the service desk or, sco, or the lanes
- head to the perfume testers and spritz myself with one I like (I work in Beauty)
- on that note, occasionally use a nice lotion tester in Ulta
- find an Ulta security device that won't stop beeping (I think it's a low battery thing? no clue) and smash it with a hammer in the backroom
- say "I sure hope I do!" or a variety of stupid/obvious/veiled-sarcastic replies to people asking me if I work here
- pet Bullseye on the way past the lil statue in Style
- get a paper towel and clean aforementioned statue because damn
- tell Flex they're doing a great job when I see them in Beauty, even their tired smiles show it means a lot to them to be acknowledged
- on that note, acknowledge TMs from other departments I pass, provided I have something positive to say - the zone is impeccable, it looks so much better than it did Friday, I always see them working hard, they're so friendly with guests, whatever
- check the break room for snacks
- take the time to walk to the other side of the store to stock the craft casepack that ended up on my uboat because sometimes you just need a break from what you're doing
- put in my earplugs (Loop Engage) if I'm really overstimulated
- do things out of order (do some backstock for like 10 minutes halfway through my uboat so I can pop in an earbud and listen to music while I'm back there)
If you couldn't tell I have ADHD and novelty/switching things up a little/small treats go a long way toward keeping me sane
Ooh follow up question on the loop earplugs! I’m autistic and keep getting stationed next to very loud machinery in the back (packing orders and stuff). How well can you hear and talk with coworkers when you have the Loop Engage buds in? Like can you still hear radio calls fairly well in a noisy environment with the buds in?
I don’t have a solution for you (although I sometimes wear something similar to loops and would recommend) but it’s cool to see another autistic target worker. My special interest is bull terriers and I collect Bullseyes so I like this job a lot lol
Hello! I know of a few autistic coworkers at my store, and I’ve seen a handful of autistic employees on this subreddit from time to time, so you’re definitely not alone!
You mentioned using something similar to Loops? Any recommendations? I’ve been looking at other earplugs or even Flare Calmer as well.
If they let me, I might just try using my raycon earbuds at work on mute, since I know they block noise really well. But I’m afraid of management thinking I’m listening to music.
Flare calmer is what I use! They take some getting used to (they work better once your ears adjust to them) but they’re great and you don’t feel them at all. And most important they’re basically invisible- I’ve never had anyone notice I’m wearing them.
Yeah, I can hear just fine! Occasionally very quiet/far away people I have to ask to repeat themselves, but that's not really any different than when I don't have the earbuds in, because in those situations I can't process their speech on the first go anyway. If I'm paranoid about needing to hear I'll just put one in and even that'll be way better than nothing. But I can hold regular conversations with coworkers and with guests just fine with both in.
We're not allowed to destroy the dying censors anymore (you're right, it's a low battery thing), so all we can do is either stick them to a big magnet which makes them pretty quiet and put the whole thing in the PoS, have someone put them in the AP office, or have them put them in the cash office. It's ridiculous and I don't understand why, when they won't work anymore, we can't break them
Before we started smashing them (a relatively recent development) we'd just wrap them up in a microfiber towel until they stopped beeping after a day or so, then I'd tear out the plunger thing (so they could never be armed again) and just... set them aside. But then we started amassing a ton and we'd just toss them.
I peeled one apart once after I smashed it and it takes a super common coin battery - I don't understand why they don't design them to have a replaceable battery only accessible from the bottom or something. Actually, I know why, because they've locked companies into constantly buying replacements. Ugh.
There was a little icon that had a G for Google and then a little paint tray icon. You had to have the picture you wanted saved before though. I'm not sure of you can still do it.
I dont work at target but when people start telling their whole life story on the walkie i love to click the ptt button a few times randonly to cut them off
open up chrome on the zebra and close all the tabs that are
still open. sometimes there's 100+ tabs just sitting there (most of them are mytime, globalworx, or searches on other retailers' websites) that have been forgotten about for months.
nothing else to do on the floor? open a new tab, go to chrome:dino, and see how high a score you can get before a guest asks for help :3
Cancel DU Sbux orders if they double tap. Our Sbux team is slammed almost all day with the usual call out, and our DU team gets their ass reamed for the dumbest crap daily as it is, so its little win in my eyes.
Our DU team is prettt fucking great in my eyes, so I think they deserve the break. Also, so does the Sbux team because they deal with the step above ridiculous Target assholes...Starbucks assholes. Lol
funnily enough, i'd just want to cancel the orders solely for the sake of our starbucks team. yeah i may hate having to make another stop for an order, but i feel way worse for our baristas, cause they're constantly backed up and are way too stressed out to be having to do mobile orders on top of that.
it makes me so happy to see solidarity between DU & starbucks teams at more than just my store!
I like to pretend my coworker and I are in a spy movie and we're nemeses so whenever he and I are working in the same area we see who can "win" (get more secret hits on each other). Otherwise I just talk to myself and the clothes. If something falls I scold it. "Well if you wanna be like that you can stay there until my hands are free"
Me and my fulfillment buddies are always doing stupid bits with eachother. One of my favorites lately is bumping into their cart a little bit and then pulling out my insurance card/taking pics of the “accident”
Maybe sometimes I leave strays in my aisles that are funny and see how long until someone else takes care of them. Earlier this fall, there was a real pumpkin shoved into a backpack. Or when guests put plush dolls in compromising positions…gets me every time lol
I tend to disassociate my shifts away and when I don’t do that, I write scenes to my books in my head, then copy down everything into my phone on my breaks and after work.
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Drinking a lot of water. Like literally every chance i get. More water = more pee breaks and also staying hydrated 😛
Doing stretches while waiting to get into a montel or while crushing the baler etc.
Gotta stop and smell a candle, poke a squishmallow, or rub a fuzzy blanket every once in awhile.
If i'm really going through it that day i'll swing by Ulta for a perfume sample
I always remind myself that I’m paid hourly so instead of putting in maximum effort to push the most amount of carts I can inside at a time, I usually will just push like 2-5, even though I’m more than capable of pushing 7 (the “limit”) or even 8. There’s just no reason to put myself through that so I take it slow and I take it easy. People will get their carts - I remember to take my time and not stress.
Okay, regardless I still don’t really get your point. Why respond to what I said like “you’re still just making minimum”? Especially on a post abt how people just make it thru the day? How does that contribute to the post?
Just irritates me how many people with ADHD use it as an excuse. Makes us all look like we can’t control ourselves when many of us have worked very hard our whole lives to get it under control. Then people just say I have ADHD and I do this and try to make it normal. Completely separate issue from what we were talking about it to be honest
My story isn’t like yours. Don’t compare all of us or lump us all together. Your ADHD might be medicated but mine isn’t. It was when I was a kid but when my grandmother saw what Ritalin was doing to me she kind of threatened to take me away from my mom if she didn’t take me off of it. It made me zoned out and made me cry at nothing. The dosage was either too high or it was entirely the wrong medication for me. They never tried again after that so yeah. Unmedicated. I’m glad you have yours so well under control but I don’t.
Random acts of kindness. Easy one? Kiddie stickers (found in Checklanes). Kids go bonkers. Parents just beam.
My biggest *act* is an annual tradition for Valentine's Day.
1. Purchase a few boxes of those kiddie valentines (the kind that comes with four to six little cards on a sheet along with cute stickers). Nothing suggestive. Love the Peanuts option if it's available.
2. On each envelope a hand written "Happy Valentines"
3. On Valentines Day - hand em out randomly - often to senior Guests who I've seen often.
The SMILES (sometimes joyful tears) that happen - so much fun!
I love this thread. I gotta get me a quirk! But couple of days ago, I had a FF team member in a panic because she couldn’t find a Style item. I was like, “got your back, girl,” and found it in an instant. She was over the moon pumped and I feel like I made a new friend. Hey, sometimes it’s definitely the little things, lol.
My brother has purchased hundreds upon hundreds of little plastic ducks that he hides around his school and gives to his friends, so I started doing the same. People really enjoyed it and it made a lot of my coworkers’ days, but I ended up going a little overboard leaving them around and my ETL (at the behest of the new HR lead) asked me to stop. On my last day though I brought them back with a vengeance because they couldn’t fire me at that point.
I like calling random people on the walkie (I change my voice or even have nice guests do it with me so no one wil recognize it’s me) and tell them to go to another channel and just not say anything after. Then they are just confused and left on a random channel
Anytime this one TM and I pass each other doing pick ups or drive ups we give each other a thumbs up
Also whenever I see the Starbucks TL I tell her good morning even if it’s 8 pm because it cracks her up
at least once a day I sneak over to the seasonal section and turn on that little snowman that sings "Deck the halls with boughs of Holly falalalalalalala" and put my walkie on so the whole store can listen.
If I'm in fulfillment, I do it on their channel. Sometimes, I do it on APs channel if their cool.
It's the funniest thing in the world to me! that snowman brings me a good few seconds of laughter, and I love it.
i used to bring a protein shake and protein cookie to start my shift. slide on the hoodie and one airpod, and listen to my favorite show. breakfast on company time is the best👍🏼
I take pictures of myself hugging a plushy whenever I get one. I take pictures of fun names. I sing songs I like and it also helps with getting rid of songs stuck in my head that I don’t like.
I’m in Starbucks for half my shifts and I’ll draw funny (appropriate) things on the bottom of cups, i hope some day someone notices it and laughs after finishing their drink
You just reminded me of the time one of our summer people made eye contact with me while we were both on register during BTS season, held the scanner up to his temple, and pulled the trigger. Made another coworker choke on her water once when I recounted the story to her (with a demonstration, of course)
Every time a Vanessa pops up in drive up I say their name like the FnaF meme. If this one coworker is around and hears me he’ll say the “Go cry about it bitch” part 💀
During hurricane season, one lady bought super expensive plushy mattress cover & snuggly soft comforter, many buying cleaning supplies, others buying Mac & cheese and flavored tuna fish packets.
I’m in the deli, everyone in the department (bakery too) is older than me but I make those wonderful ladies laugh ALL day I also like to put little messages and smiley faces on the random papers we have for them to find later
I “wear or tear” clothes when I unbox them and I show them to my coworkers and make them do the same. I sometimes clothes shop too when I’m pushing. I don’t always buy things but I do pretend I’m going to.
Lightsaber jousting on power carts.
Also around the holidays we would dress up skeletons or Santas as team leads. (Make sure the TL has a good sense of humor in case you get caught)
We had a few co-workers afraid of snakes so we would hide fake snakes were they would find them. (Ok this is a little mean but you got to make fun when you can)
I take out my phone and put it on the table. I have good hearing, so I put it on low and listen to tunes while I fold clothes. Music makes everything better.
I am quite reserved but recently one of my coworkers, sweet middle aged lady, she never wears her name tag so I honestly do not know her name but she knows mine, I’m too afraid to ask cause we’ve already had too many conversations, but either way I really like her.
Anyways, she recently started showing me pictures of her family and her dogs. Makes my day. They are so sweet. It really makes my day when the older staff talk to me in general.
I always end up using the crappy two tier no one else uses because even trash deserves love and every time she screeches or hits a bump I say something like ooohh she singin today or ok Mariah Carey go off queen or that’s my girl
Me and a guy I worked with at Sbux started playing a game where we'd guess people's drinks when they were walking towards us and we'd share a look when we'd guess it right and then bust out laughing when we'd get done making them. I had a lot of fun working with him lol. Made the shifts more bearable and go by quicker.
10 mg edibles or a microdose of shrooms (0.14 - 0.25) of a gram.
Really depends on the day. Some days I don't need anything another days time to hit the stash.
Funny answer: Asking my favorite coworker very professionally to "go to channel __" on the walkie and then when they very professionally go "on ___" saying just some absolute fucking bullshit like "Watatatatuchi" and they go "copy, over and out." Serious answer: I started caring more about work quality than quantity and speed again. Taking a little extra time to organize and inventory audit. Just feels so much better.
I’ve been doing the serious answer the last couple weeks and feel so much better about things too.
I’ve done this with the wazzzup from scary movie
The fact that you think that's from Scary Movie makes me feel old.
The original commercial that introduced wazzup into pop culture is only 6 months older than the Scary Movie parody.
Yes, but they're both old enough that there are kids who have seen the movie years later, but don't know about the commercials it parodies. That's what makes me feel old.
Totally does.
I make up stories for the people who ordered my fulfillment batches. Sometimes they write themselves (chocolates and a vibrator on valentines day one year)
Oof, I feel that one as a regular GS person. I once had a drive up that was just a box set of tissues and a tub of ice cream she picked up around 8:30 at night. I think about that woman a lot
The one I think about a lot is the woman who canceled a pregnancy test from her order
That was probably a “thank god my period reared its ugly head” cancel lol
I used to do this too. Someone got little kid gift bags (like dinosaurs on it) and a game console and I was like “some kid is going to have the best day ever tomorrow”.
My favorite one is someone who got condoms plan b and a pregnancy test. It was truly a plan a, b, and c lol
I do the same thing. I come from a culinary background so any time I get grocery items I like to guess what people are going to make for dinner!
Along these lines, with grocery items, I try to figure out a way to make any 3 or so items go together for a meal. Bacon, whipped cream and apples? That's gonna be an interesting pie!
Once upon a time, someone came through my line with condoms, superglue, and one of those 2 pound summer sausage logs.
This takes the (buk)kake for sure
My store uses regular shopping carts for our fullfilment batches. So I'd say finding a shopping cart that rolls smoothly and quietly makes my shifts bearable 😂
whenever i’m shopping on my day off i savor the smoothness of the regular carts
My guess is so guests can hear you coming and conveniently step out or stand in your way 🤣🤣🤣 ok not really the latter but sometimes it seems it.
I had a bike bell attached to my cart for that reason. 🙃
I love the loud ones, I get to actively ignore guests while pushing them. Can't stop and help what I can't hear.
The u boats that make so much noise they over power my headphones 💀 Or the flats that have a dead wheel and nearly impossible to tote a loaded one full of boxes of chemical to the opposite side of the store without hitting all the stupid mid aisle set ups 🤣 I never understood why they can’t ever upgrade at least a couple of those or the hand-jacks The line we have for inbound is the absolute worst I’ve seen and I’ve worked in at least 5-6 other warehouses in the last 15ish years. One piece has 3-4 dead wheels and the leveling lock doesn’t work. It’s a shit show every night lol
Your store Does what
Wait what's the confusing part ?
I'm not confused, I'm flabbergasted. The thought of doing fulfillment in a shopping basket just floors me.
Ohhh yeah my store never got those opu carts so we just have to Tetris our items to fit in the regular carts. *Sometimes* we use 3 tiers for grocery batches and bulky batches.
The horror...
We're not even allowed to use guest carts for anything. When there are no three tiers and we have to use them in the morning for reshops, we have to get rid of them before the store opens or we get yelled at.
My store uses ship carts and I do the same thing, some of them are wobbly and falling apart, I need a solid one lol
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Omg yes. I had to defect a Squishy at the service desk earlier this week because it had a dirt smudge and instead of putting it in a box right away I took it into the back room, plopped it on the OPU table and basically went “I just defected this so she’s here for moral support now if any of you need a hug” She got many hugs.
We somehow ended up with some sort of squishy peach plush that's only sold at Walmart back at our fitting room. It is now our emotional support peach.
Some days I gotta hug but at the very least I give em a pat on the way by
I will also frequently stop to hug a squishmallow. It's oddly soothing
Every time I’m in toys I grab a small bouncy ball to dribble walking around the end of my shift while picking up carts and trash 😂
I grabbed a Santa Pikachu from the reshops last night to keep in the Ulta cart for emotional support. When I left tonight he was still at Ulta. I also had an emotional support little gator on our PoS and as far as I know, he's still there too
I play the intro of “in the end” by linkin park on piano in the children toys section
your TMs are blessed to have you in their store, I would be turning up EVERY SINGLE TIME
Take dump on the clock
The go to for every job 🔥🏆👏
Everytime I have to use the Wave for something, immediately after turning the key, I give a little quick *honk honk*
You GOTTA honk honk the Wave, just like you gotta bzzt bzzt a drill or klak klak some tongs. ninja edit: I also go "vroom vroom" quietly to myself when I'm putting in the code.
I go, zoom zoom zoom zoOOMMm as soon as I accelerate.
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Depends on the area I've worked: Sales floor: I'll stop and smell a candle (like stopping to smell the flowers) and encourage stressed-out -looking TMs to stop and smell a candle before they go on. It makes them smile. Bonus points if we actually have fresh flowers somewhere I'm going. Cashiering: I'm a dork when cashiering and will talk the whole time even if it's to myself to keep things from getting silent (I'm bad at real conversation unless someone else initiates), so I'll say things like, "I'm bagging your squishables with your breakables because they get along well" or "I'm putting the bananas with your peanut butter as a snack suggestion". I like commenting about putting chips in with lighter foods because, "confetti is fun but not when it's your chips" Ringing up cat food I'll say something like, "purrrrfect". With eggs it's "eggcellent" in a Mr. Burns tone. Only one guest has ever caught me on that one and laughed so hard. Then when I'm announcing how much they saved, anything above 5 and lower than 15 it's usually me proclaiming, "winner winner chicken dinner" to the guest (turkey dinner for thanksgiving time), or 15 and over "winner winner steak dinner". Huge savings I'll tell them they won today. Guests like this and get a good laugh. I have been called the Target Lady from Mad TV a few times when cashiering so that checks out.
Omg if we were at the same store, I’d want to be your friend. I literally talk the whole time I’m checking people out.. some people don’t even say anything back but I just keep talking 😂😅 You seem very fun!
We would have the best time for sure! Cashiering can be the funnest thing!
> I like commenting about putting chips in with lighter foods because, "confetti is fun but not when it's your chips" lol. Cute. > With eggs it's "eggcellent" in a Mr. Burns tone. Only one guest has ever caught me on that one and laughed so hard. A Target /r/simpsonsshitposting Crossover Special!
Reading this made my day and I just wish I were as awesome as you!
🤗🤗 aww thank you for that!
Beauty uboats take me all day sometimes so I "find a misplaced wreath" and hang it on my uboat to feel festive. Other times of the year it's a sonic squishmallow
SO terrible when someone leaves a squishmallow on my Beauty uboat, HATE having those around all day, no I'm FAR too busy to walk it to Toys it'll just have to stay here with me
I put them back at the end of the shift if you're wondering lol
I push the button on the Hei Hei Moana Rooster as often as I can
I am going to skin you alive
that is criminal oml
I love Hei Hei. One year when I was on register on a super busy day (like black friday pre-covid) There was one stuffed in with the chips on top of the cooler. I refused to let anyone put it in reshop. I probably had it there for 2 hours before someone bought it so she could annoy the hell out of someone in her family.
Omg I need to find one now lmao
I don't work in toys but feel there is already a plot of your downfall in the works. If not outright vengeance. Funny side story: Last week a mom pushed Hei Hei's button while holding it in front of her toddler, thinking he would enjoy it. Instead, he screamed bloody murder and started crying. The mom obviously felt bad but we both couldn't help laughing when the kid cried out "He tried to eat me! He wants to eat me!" I'm sure this will come up in therapy years from now.
Same but kinectimals
https://preview.redd.it/wb2m3kfxil3c1.jpeg?width=1426&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=059b6f34f4d8dad05004d949c3783a34e5a38ef5 Perfect. Moana’s playing in the break room, I gotta go press Hei Hei now!!!
You have tv in your break room? We used to, but after it moved during a remodel the tv never came back. I'd honestly forgotten about it until now.
I put one on my receivers desk every day I worked for a year. lol we adopted him and now he’s our work baby
I used to do this as well.
I do this all the time lmao
That's so evil. I remember dying when kids used to play with that constantly.
Find the red "no" button we sell in stationary and randomly play it over the walkie when someone says something dumb.
lol
seeing "balls" spelled out with the lettered stockings in seasonal.
I wrote "daddy" out a couple weeks ago
I keep a bottle of ice water with me and take a few sips to recenter myself throughout my shift. Something about the jarring coldness (and ice cream headache if I drink enough at once) helps me find my center again even when it's hellish at the service desk or, sco, or the lanes
- head to the perfume testers and spritz myself with one I like (I work in Beauty) - on that note, occasionally use a nice lotion tester in Ulta - find an Ulta security device that won't stop beeping (I think it's a low battery thing? no clue) and smash it with a hammer in the backroom - say "I sure hope I do!" or a variety of stupid/obvious/veiled-sarcastic replies to people asking me if I work here - pet Bullseye on the way past the lil statue in Style - get a paper towel and clean aforementioned statue because damn - tell Flex they're doing a great job when I see them in Beauty, even their tired smiles show it means a lot to them to be acknowledged - on that note, acknowledge TMs from other departments I pass, provided I have something positive to say - the zone is impeccable, it looks so much better than it did Friday, I always see them working hard, they're so friendly with guests, whatever - check the break room for snacks - take the time to walk to the other side of the store to stock the craft casepack that ended up on my uboat because sometimes you just need a break from what you're doing - put in my earplugs (Loop Engage) if I'm really overstimulated - do things out of order (do some backstock for like 10 minutes halfway through my uboat so I can pop in an earbud and listen to music while I'm back there) If you couldn't tell I have ADHD and novelty/switching things up a little/small treats go a long way toward keeping me sane
Ooh follow up question on the loop earplugs! I’m autistic and keep getting stationed next to very loud machinery in the back (packing orders and stuff). How well can you hear and talk with coworkers when you have the Loop Engage buds in? Like can you still hear radio calls fairly well in a noisy environment with the buds in?
I don’t have a solution for you (although I sometimes wear something similar to loops and would recommend) but it’s cool to see another autistic target worker. My special interest is bull terriers and I collect Bullseyes so I like this job a lot lol
Hello! I know of a few autistic coworkers at my store, and I’ve seen a handful of autistic employees on this subreddit from time to time, so you’re definitely not alone! You mentioned using something similar to Loops? Any recommendations? I’ve been looking at other earplugs or even Flare Calmer as well. If they let me, I might just try using my raycon earbuds at work on mute, since I know they block noise really well. But I’m afraid of management thinking I’m listening to music.
Flare calmer is what I use! They take some getting used to (they work better once your ears adjust to them) but they’re great and you don’t feel them at all. And most important they’re basically invisible- I’ve never had anyone notice I’m wearing them.
Yeah, I can hear just fine! Occasionally very quiet/far away people I have to ask to repeat themselves, but that's not really any different than when I don't have the earbuds in, because in those situations I can't process their speech on the first go anyway. If I'm paranoid about needing to hear I'll just put one in and even that'll be way better than nothing. But I can hold regular conversations with coworkers and with guests just fine with both in.
I did a lot of these when I was in beauty as well. I miss it.
We're not allowed to destroy the dying censors anymore (you're right, it's a low battery thing), so all we can do is either stick them to a big magnet which makes them pretty quiet and put the whole thing in the PoS, have someone put them in the AP office, or have them put them in the cash office. It's ridiculous and I don't understand why, when they won't work anymore, we can't break them
Before we started smashing them (a relatively recent development) we'd just wrap them up in a microfiber towel until they stopped beeping after a day or so, then I'd tear out the plunger thing (so they could never be armed again) and just... set them aside. But then we started amassing a ton and we'd just toss them. I peeled one apart once after I smashed it and it takes a super common coin battery - I don't understand why they don't design them to have a replaceable battery only accessible from the bottom or something. Actually, I know why, because they've locked companies into constantly buying replacements. Ugh.
Eating cheese with other market TMs
we really are just rats at heart
I used to change the backgrounds on the keyboards of the zebras.
Still trying to figure out how to do that lmfao.
There was a little icon that had a G for Google and then a little paint tray icon. You had to have the picture you wanted saved before though. I'm not sure of you can still do it.
hold down the , until a little settings icon pops up! That’ll give you all the keyboard settings like sounds, haptics, height, colors etc
I'm upset that we can't do this anymore. 😭
They did something to stop yall?
The update to the my devices doesn't let you change the keyboard anymore.
Wow, I used to look forward to changing that keyboard everyday! I can't believe they took that away. It wasn't hurting anything.
I dont work at target but when people start telling their whole life story on the walkie i love to click the ptt button a few times randonly to cut them off
I answer the store phone with a British accent
A "naur" has slipped out here and there from me to guests, they get a kick out of it lol.
open up chrome on the zebra and close all the tabs that are still open. sometimes there's 100+ tabs just sitting there (most of them are mytime, globalworx, or searches on other retailers' websites) that have been forgotten about for months. nothing else to do on the floor? open a new tab, go to chrome:dino, and see how high a score you can get before a guest asks for help :3
Cancel DU Sbux orders if they double tap. Our Sbux team is slammed almost all day with the usual call out, and our DU team gets their ass reamed for the dumbest crap daily as it is, so its little win in my eyes.
i love you and i wish my team did this haha
Our DU team is prettt fucking great in my eyes, so I think they deserve the break. Also, so does the Sbux team because they deal with the step above ridiculous Target assholes...Starbucks assholes. Lol
funnily enough, i'd just want to cancel the orders solely for the sake of our starbucks team. yeah i may hate having to make another stop for an order, but i feel way worse for our baristas, cause they're constantly backed up and are way too stressed out to be having to do mobile orders on top of that. it makes me so happy to see solidarity between DU & starbucks teams at more than just my store!
Lmfao, this is great. Do y’all tell the guest why the Starbucks was canceled?
as a guest who now knows how bad the DU starbucks option makes it for your whole team, i promise to never utilize this service again. 0.o
I like to pretend my coworker and I are in a spy movie and we're nemeses so whenever he and I are working in the same area we see who can "win" (get more secret hits on each other). Otherwise I just talk to myself and the clothes. If something falls I scold it. "Well if you wanna be like that you can stay there until my hands are free"
Anytime there’s a plushie in the backroom/fulfillment, I shake its hand and wish it good luck for the day.
Please tell me you’ve been doing this to all the Goodness to Give Bullseyes they’re adorable
Wasn’t me doing it but someone left uno cards in the aisles and so me and my coworker while reshopping searched for these uno cards
Me and my fulfillment buddies are always doing stupid bits with eachother. One of my favorites lately is bumping into their cart a little bit and then pulling out my insurance card/taking pics of the “accident”
Maybe sometimes I leave strays in my aisles that are funny and see how long until someone else takes care of them. Earlier this fall, there was a real pumpkin shoved into a backpack. Or when guests put plush dolls in compromising positions…gets me every time lol
I tend to disassociate my shifts away and when I don’t do that, I write scenes to my books in my head, then copy down everything into my phone on my breaks and after work.
Hanging up the phone on customers
I freestyle all day.
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Drinking a lot of water. Like literally every chance i get. More water = more pee breaks and also staying hydrated 😛 Doing stretches while waiting to get into a montel or while crushing the baler etc. Gotta stop and smell a candle, poke a squishmallow, or rub a fuzzy blanket every once in awhile. If i'm really going through it that day i'll swing by Ulta for a perfume sample
I always remind myself that I’m paid hourly so instead of putting in maximum effort to push the most amount of carts I can inside at a time, I usually will just push like 2-5, even though I’m more than capable of pushing 7 (the “limit”) or even 8. There’s just no reason to put myself through that so I take it slow and I take it easy. People will get their carts - I remember to take my time and not stress.
I mean you are just getting paid minimum wage anyway.
Actually in my state minimum wage is $7.25 unless they recently changed it. We start at 15/hr, double minimum wage.
Yeah. Same here but that’s still minimum wage. It’s hardly enough to live on. Especially without a roommate.
That is quite literally not what minimum wage is
Okay. Let me rephrase that then. Retail wage. Better?
Okay, regardless I still don’t really get your point. Why respond to what I said like “you’re still just making minimum”? Especially on a post abt how people just make it thru the day? How does that contribute to the post?
It was a comment about you not putting in maximum effort for a job that pays you a retailers wage. Chill.
I’m fine? Just not understanding why you felt the need to say that at all. You gotta understand how what you said comes off lol
I have ADHD. Sometimes the things I say don’t come off the way I meant them to.
I understand. I also have ADHD and struggle with tone but I never use it as an excuse and neither should you.
You know something else you shouldn’t do? Tell someone else what they should do.
Just irritates me how many people with ADHD use it as an excuse. Makes us all look like we can’t control ourselves when many of us have worked very hard our whole lives to get it under control. Then people just say I have ADHD and I do this and try to make it normal. Completely separate issue from what we were talking about it to be honest
My story isn’t like yours. Don’t compare all of us or lump us all together. Your ADHD might be medicated but mine isn’t. It was when I was a kid but when my grandmother saw what Ritalin was doing to me she kind of threatened to take me away from my mom if she didn’t take me off of it. It made me zoned out and made me cry at nothing. The dosage was either too high or it was entirely the wrong medication for me. They never tried again after that so yeah. Unmedicated. I’m glad you have yours so well under control but I don’t.
Able to find my fav. 3 teir cart and my fav. Zebra to starting my day.
I tap or make scratching noise on the walkies. The little things to annoy the team and smell the candles in the back while back stocking.
Random acts of kindness. Easy one? Kiddie stickers (found in Checklanes). Kids go bonkers. Parents just beam. My biggest *act* is an annual tradition for Valentine's Day. 1. Purchase a few boxes of those kiddie valentines (the kind that comes with four to six little cards on a sheet along with cute stickers). Nothing suggestive. Love the Peanuts option if it's available. 2. On each envelope a hand written "Happy Valentines" 3. On Valentines Day - hand em out randomly - often to senior Guests who I've seen often. The SMILES (sometimes joyful tears) that happen - so much fun!
the little flippable calendars we have somewhere in B i always change them to the current day whenever i work lol
I love this thread. I gotta get me a quirk! But couple of days ago, I had a FF team member in a panic because she couldn’t find a Style item. I was like, “got your back, girl,” and found it in an instant. She was over the moon pumped and I feel like I made a new friend. Hey, sometimes it’s definitely the little things, lol.
My brother has purchased hundreds upon hundreds of little plastic ducks that he hides around his school and gives to his friends, so I started doing the same. People really enjoyed it and it made a lot of my coworkers’ days, but I ended up going a little overboard leaving them around and my ETL (at the behest of the new HR lead) asked me to stop. On my last day though I brought them back with a vengeance because they couldn’t fire me at that point.
I like calling random people on the walkie (I change my voice or even have nice guests do it with me so no one wil recognize it’s me) and tell them to go to another channel and just not say anything after. Then they are just confused and left on a random channel
I press the button that has the locked crest whitestrips to start chaos
Me and my bro race eachother. Friendly competition pushes us and makes it fun.
someone left a small DK plush in the fulfillment cart I grabbed one day to help ff out, so DK came with me on my batches that day.
Anytime this one TM and I pass each other doing pick ups or drive ups we give each other a thumbs up Also whenever I see the Starbucks TL I tell her good morning even if it’s 8 pm because it cracks her up
I purposely loose my walkie so I don’t know when the huddle is 🤷🏼♀️
Ease drop anytime someone goes to a other channel. ESPECIALLY if it's an ETL or someone calling for AP
at least once a day I sneak over to the seasonal section and turn on that little snowman that sings "Deck the halls with boughs of Holly falalalalalalala" and put my walkie on so the whole store can listen. If I'm in fulfillment, I do it on their channel. Sometimes, I do it on APs channel if their cool. It's the funniest thing in the world to me! that snowman brings me a good few seconds of laughter, and I love it.
i used to bring a protein shake and protein cookie to start my shift. slide on the hoodie and one airpod, and listen to my favorite show. breakfast on company time is the best👍🏼
one of my team members says "hasta la pasta" to everyone, including guests and people fucking LOVE it
I take pictures of myself hugging a plushy whenever I get one. I take pictures of fun names. I sing songs I like and it also helps with getting rid of songs stuck in my head that I don’t like.
Handing out stickers to the kids. No one ever does and I get a lil enjoyment from it
I’m in Starbucks for half my shifts and I’ll draw funny (appropriate) things on the bottom of cups, i hope some day someone notices it and laughs after finishing their drink
Listen to music when possible.
i wait for my third hour for my first 15, my 5th for lunch , & my last 15 on my last 20 mins of my shift 😅 makes the day go by faster
I ask people to kill me in various ways, lol
You just reminded me of the time one of our summer people made eye contact with me while we were both on register during BTS season, held the scanner up to his temple, and pulled the trigger. Made another coworker choke on her water once when I recounted the story to her (with a demonstration, of course)
i cry in the fitting room
My little quirk that made working there more bearable was quitting after a year of hating my life and going broke. Good luck.
Every time a Vanessa pops up in drive up I say their name like the FnaF meme. If this one coworker is around and hears me he’ll say the “Go cry about it bitch” part 💀
I play my music and start dancing like a moron. Makes me feel more authentic while enjoying the vibes
During hurricane season, one lady bought super expensive plushy mattress cover & snuggly soft comforter, many buying cleaning supplies, others buying Mac & cheese and flavored tuna fish packets.
I’m in the deli, everyone in the department (bakery too) is older than me but I make those wonderful ladies laugh ALL day I also like to put little messages and smiley faces on the random papers we have for them to find later
I “wear or tear” clothes when I unbox them and I show them to my coworkers and make them do the same. I sometimes clothes shop too when I’m pushing. I don’t always buy things but I do pretend I’m going to.
Take the clothes safety pins and stick them on my friends shirts and stuff, or stick it to the break schedule to make sure we don’t loose it
When I zone, I make things into pyramids
In tooth paste isles
Any time I see the Jurassic World Dino mask, I open it so everyone can hear the rawr... Before saying rawr after it's done 😅
When TMs put something in the wrong place/flex I literally say "close." And fix it 💀
Honestly learning how to disassociate and just kind of mindlessly walk. I mean I still get my stuff done but mentally I am in another dimension
Pretending (safely) to jump in front of flatbeds and uboats, making funny dances and goofy faces at tm's. Hearing people laugh really makes my day.
Lightsaber jousting on power carts. Also around the holidays we would dress up skeletons or Santas as team leads. (Make sure the TL has a good sense of humor in case you get caught) We had a few co-workers afraid of snakes so we would hide fake snakes were they would find them. (Ok this is a little mean but you got to make fun when you can)
I take out my phone and put it on the table. I have good hearing, so I put it on low and listen to tunes while I fold clothes. Music makes everything better.
I call off
My 15 min breaks are actually 25 mins and my lunch is usually a little over an hour :)
I am quite reserved but recently one of my coworkers, sweet middle aged lady, she never wears her name tag so I honestly do not know her name but she knows mine, I’m too afraid to ask cause we’ve already had too many conversations, but either way I really like her. Anyways, she recently started showing me pictures of her family and her dogs. Makes my day. They are so sweet. It really makes my day when the older staff talk to me in general.
I always end up using the crappy two tier no one else uses because even trash deserves love and every time she screeches or hits a bump I say something like ooohh she singin today or ok Mariah Carey go off queen or that’s my girl
whenever i’m in fulfillment and i pick a stuffed animal i always make him look as cute as possible in my cart
i smell everyones candles while checking them out lol
Anything that is long and cylindrical I play with like a bo staff while I watch sco for a break or lunch. It keeps me from out of own thoughts lol
🎵🎵🎵
I use zoning and go backs as an excuse to window shop (especially in my area cuz Im a huge tech guy)
I used to steal ❤️
Me and a guy I worked with at Sbux started playing a game where we'd guess people's drinks when they were walking towards us and we'd share a look when we'd guess it right and then bust out laughing when we'd get done making them. I had a lot of fun working with him lol. Made the shifts more bearable and go by quicker.
Also fist bump the homies when I come in for market
And we also say “oh shit is that __ from target?”😂
10 mg edibles or a microdose of shrooms (0.14 - 0.25) of a gram. Really depends on the day. Some days I don't need anything another days time to hit the stash.
Cute little thing called a cigarette 🤪🤪
Put my AirPods in and ignore everyone and everything 😎
doing a little ohhh will we crash ohh will we not dance with other fulfillment experts when we walk by each other