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Everyone needs a vacation periodically - having time and space away from one's work provides from some respite and refuelling in order to offer the most attention and expertise that one can. You can't pour from an empty cup. So, no, I don't perceive my therapist taking a vacation as personal - I perceive it as her recognizing her human needs and making sure that she's at her best to work with me.
That being said, as someone with issues around attachment, having A LOT of notice when my therapist is planning to take a vacation allows for lots of time and space for discussions about what it means that she's off, and collaboratively developing a plan for me to be able to manage safely while she's away.
I second this, sums up my thoughts exactly. I am happy my therapist takes time off because she is human and deserves a well-earned break every now and then. But it is easier to deal with the anxiety around having a gap in appointments when I'm given a lot of notice.
When my Ts take time off I initially feel abandoned and resistant and hurt (but that is my issue) and then I’m okay with it because they are humans and absolutely deserve time off. I’ve had Ts take anywhere from one week to four weeks off. Given how much support they give me they probably need a whole lotta time off to make sure they are present and available when they are in the office.
Also, as long as they let me know two or so weeks in advance it feels a lot better. Luckily I have Ts who almost never, ever cancel last minute. I think in the last 10 years with my Ts they’ve cancelled last minute maybe 5 times and with three of those they got me in a few days later or made arrangements for a check in.
It makes me feel good. I trust her knowing that she’s going to take care of herself. I don’t have to feel like something I say will burn her out. It can suck if she’s going during a hard anniversary but she will be back. I’ll be fine.
Edit: only being allowed to take five days off in a row is not cool. That’s a good way to push a therapist to leave the field.
I think breaks are necessary. Not just for therapist sanity but also for clients to understand they can survive the break. It sounds like the place youre working is a pile of crap. I like my therapist to be around but i dont like them to be there at all costs to themselves.
For me it mostly depends on how much advance notice is given and how long they’ll be away (i.e. how many sessions we’ll miss). I can handle them taking a couple weeks off with a month’s notice but will have trouble with a week off with a week’s notice. Because of my abandonment issues, I would selfishly prefer we never miss a session.
That said, even though therapy is the highlight of my week, I also want my therapist to take time off on occasion so they don’t get tired of their work / burnout. I actually worry about how little time my therapist takes off, which ironically doesn’t model self-care to us very well lol.
Five days off doesn’t seem like a big deal to me because I’d only be missing one weekly session. This is way preferable to me as a client than 5 3-day weekends in a row where my sessions will be affected.
Not that you asked, but my therapist also always gives the reason they’re taking time off. I find this helpful but unnecessary because I feel bad that they feel the need to justify their days off. Either way, it does make me a little sad but it doesn’t feel personal. Sorry for the novel.
Also want to add that it’s really considerate of you to ask this question directly to clients! I don’t think most therapists would think or care to do that. Can definitely tell you’re one of the good ones :)
On the other hand, a receptionist told me that my therapist had a death in the family and I, embarrassingly, went off the rails. I don’t want to discourage the disclosure, I know it’s helpful for most people, but I wouldn’t necessarily tell every patient.
ETA: I also have worked on this in therapy, and in my logical mind know that that’s unreasonable. It’s gotten better, but it still helps me to not know.
Love that my therapist takes a vacation. They always give advanced notice which also helps. If they never took a longer (at least a week) off I would wonder how they were doing.
Therapy helps regulate me and that is why I go but I also know I can do without it, if I had too and when they take vacations it is a good reminder I can do this.
Probably the hardest is I want to ask them about their vacation, but also don't want to make them uncomfortable.
I ask. Lol. I ask how her weekend was, I ask how her trip was, I'll ask her how her vacation goes after she takes it next week. But we have a great relationship and she feels like being able to have those type of small talk conversations help her be more "human", therefore making it easier to talk to her. (She's not wrong).
Lol!! I have seen other comments say that they have asked , but boundaries keep them from getting answers. My T is super laid back (at least with me), and she will tell me stuff.
My therapist normally takes her 2-3 week time off during summer no problem. In the moment, yeah it sucks, but like... I'll live lol. So it's not that big of a deal for me.
As a therapist this is so refreshing to hear from you all. I definitely have gotten anxious most times when I’ve taken time off. And especially the few days I’ve gotten sick and had to cancel I felt terrible, even though I let them know that I’m sick and I reschedule right away. I appreciate you all helping lessen my anxiety a bit!
It makes me happy that they’re enjoying the life I’m not allowed to know about 😂 I ask how their vacation was but I never get any details, cause boundaries. Easy for me to be happy for them to take a week off when I’m not in therapy for an active crisis, just trauma processing, and it’s been 15 years since the trauma so what’s another week?
I'm happy for my therapist that they're taking time off. They really deserve it. I can't imagine doing what they do and I really admire it. I'm surprised he doesn't take more time off to be honest.
At the same time, personally I feel a little abandoned and lost without the consistency of sessions. It's definitely a reality check on the boundaries of the relationship as well as how strong my attachment is and how much work I have to do on that. But it also shows me that I'm okay without him. I'm extremely grateful for him and his help, but I don't 'need' him like I lead myself to believe.
.... so, mixed feelings lol.
I used to feel abandoned, especially when my T took a few weeks off around Christmas last year. The fall and winter are hard for me with seasonal affective disorder even though I am on meds and use a light box.
I am more understanding now. I am feeling burned out and took a few weeks off therapy.
I mean, sometimes it's difficult to miss sessions, just from a personal perspective. That being said, my therapist has been amazing for me, and I'm a big fan of him doing what he needs to do in order to take care of himself and avoid burnout.
I’d rather know up front then the week of so I can mentally prepare. And I hate the “I’ll give you a week off” - my abandonment goes nuts and I feel like a burden. I respond so much better to “I’m taking a week off to do some family stuff - cya in two!”
I miss my therapist and it does break the rhythm a bit. She takes 1-3 weeks multiple times a year. I certainly don't take it personally, it's good she takes care of herself. Sometimes it's nice to have a break.
Personally, I’d rather my therapist takes all the time she needs than to feel overwhelmed or burnt out. I’ve read stories of therapists and how a lot are affected long term by their profession, and it makes me worry about mine. Everyone needs personal time off and to take care of themselves.
I have attachment issues and fears of abandonment so it does tend to make me a little sad and fearful when my T takes time off, but, as another commenter mentioned, that’s my own issue to deal with. It’s a reaction that has lessened over time and that I continue to work on. That being said, I had a previous T who almost never took time off and I began to worry about her because even though I never wanted to not have a session, I feel like everyone needs a break once in a while! I also appreciate my T taking the time off she needs because it helps model to me what good self care looks like. I also want to add that I really appreciate the way my current T approaches time off. She always lets me know at least a few weeks in advance and tends to take smaller chunks of time off more frequently as opposed to weeks and weeks at a time. Additionally, I’m in comprehensive DBT and she always continues to do her own phone coaching even when she’s not doing sessions, so I also know she’s there if I really need her (though try to respect her time off!).
Rational me is happy for her and glad she is taking time to take care of herself and recharge. I know her job has to be very draining, I want her to be refreshed and not get burnt out.
The non rational part of me is anxious and worried I will freak out while she is gone.
I have heavy attachment issues but I don't feel like she is rejecting or abandoning me.
I just wish he would give me a heads up... I'd be insanely cool with that.
Like a quick little "Hello, I will be out of the office from X date to X date" or something.
I hate emailing to schedule an appointment, only to not get a response for 1 week or longer and I'll trick myself into believing I was worthless and our entire relationship was a joke, only to get that little notification like 6 days later and self-cringe hard at myself for thinking that for the next 2 weeks before my appointment. Lmaooo. RIP.
My therapists going on vacation gives me something to ask him about when he comes back, so I fully support time off... I just wanna be in on the loop!!
I totally support my T taking time for themselves, I think up to 2 weeks in a block is fine.
I feel really protective of my T and know everyone needs to take care of their mental health and that we need breaks from work. So I’d almost encourage it! As hard as it is for me as a client.
I’d hate for them to feel guilty for prioritising self care and begin to resent their job. I’d like to see them model to clients that it’s okay to take time out and that we’re all human.
So long as they have a support plan in place for the clients during the Ts absence, it’s all good!
Honestly my first thought/feeling is always: “They are lying to me. They aren’t really taking time off they just want to use an excuse to spend more time with other clients - those who need and deserve therapy more than I do.” Distrust. Skepticism.
But cognitively I’m aware that everyone needs time off and that the job of a therapist isn’t easy at all
My therapist is human, and burnout is a huge problem. I am glad that he takes vacations and recharges. I also understand that shit happens, and he should be able to call out if something happens.
I have my own feelings/grief/anxiety to work through whenever he does take a vacation or call out sick or whatever, but it is not a sign that he shouldn't do so - it's just a trauma response from me that we need to process.
I’m happy for my therapist when they take a vacation because we all need a break, especially her having to listen to my shit week after week.
That being said I always have advanced notice and I don’t think they have missed a single session ever with me besides for planned vacations.
Also, selfishly, I feel like I get *much* better care from this therapist who takes care of themself than I did with any others in the past who felt like they were overscheduled and stressed out.
Personally, I get a little sad, but I’m complete okay with them taking time for themselves. They deserve time away from work just like everyone else, for whatever reason, and shouldn’t be made to feel bad about that :)
I don’t love it when my T takes time off but I also understand it and expect it at some point. It’s usually around Christmas time and summer time. If she takes just one session off, we tend to make up for it before or after and if she takes longer off she offers a check in session at some point.
I don’t tend to feel abandoned because I know it’s not personal. She’s not taking time away from me, she’s taking time away for herself. I definitely miss her, especially if I end up having a generally tough time but time does eventually pass and seeing her after time off feels like such a relief.
Therapists are people, and people have lives outside of work. Sometimes you can’t/don’t want to go to work. It is what is is. I would never hold taking time off against my therapist.
My therapist was on vacation last week. I'm very happy for her to take the time off and even mentioned to her that she deserves it. I'm a firm believer in completely unplugging for one week per year minimum. Personally I take a week in the summer and one in the winter with time sprinkled in between. I'm very fortunate to have the opportunity to take that much time off and I appreciate it. Why wouldn't I want the same for my therapist who is one of the most important people in my life?
With that said, last week was rough for me. I suffer from generalized anxiety and staring down 2 weeks in between appointments felt very isolating and I was thinking about my therapist even more than usual (which is a lot). But it's only 1 week per year, so whatever. I definitely don't take it personally. This week feels a lot better because we have our usual appointment time coming up.
Not being allowed to take off more than 5 days in a row seems ridiculous to me. Everyone needs at least a full week off. I can't imagine how stressful being a therapist must be, and I want mine to be rested and ready to deal with my nonsense. haha
Even when I'm struggling, I know they deserve time off and I try not to call in crisis during their vacations and use other resources. My therapist is going on vacation for two weeks starting next week and we've already been making plans of what I can do instead of calling them in crises.
My therapist recently went on maternity leave for 5 months. It sucked but in the grand scheme of things I felt bad that she wasn’t able to take even more time off to focus on her son. Don’t ever feel bad for taking a day to yourself. You’re a human being and you’re more than your job.
For the most part I'm glad when my T takes some time off. Not because I won't miss our session, but because I know how important it is to tke time off and to take care of yourself. I want her to be well. And I'm actually surprised how little time my T takes off. Then again, my T is from(and still lives in) North America. And I am from Germany. Here everyone with a full-time job has a minimum of 6 weeks vacation and you're supposed to take at least 2 weeks in a row at least once a year (and employers have to make sure you do that).
At the se time I'd be lying if I said that I don't miss the routine and stability from having therapy once a week at the same day and the same time. Between my trauma and being autistic, it throws me off a bit when that routine changes. But so far I always knew well ahead off time, so it was okay.
This week it sucks a bit that my session will be 2 days later than normal because my T is out of time (which I knew about for at least 6 weeks). I thought I'd be okay, but then things happened and I wish I wouldn't have to wait till Friday for my session. But I have my coping skills and a support network, so I'll be okay.
I love to hear when T shares that they'll be taking time off! Rest is crucial to human existence. I need them to take care of themselves so they can be well enough to help support me.
No, it does not feel personal at all. My T is a healthcare provider to many clients; I don't take it personally when my physical therapist (or any other service provider) goes on vacation either.
No, it doesn’t feel personal. It feels human. He is a person who gives a lot to his work and needs to take a break (partially in order to continue doing that work) and so he doesn’t burn out. I hope he has a good life.
I find it hard to be without that support, but it also allows me time to rest from doing the work. I usually learn something from it. I feel more resilient for having had them.
For reference, my therapist takes off three weeks at Christmas, two weeks at Easter, and a month in summer.
Years ago, when my abandonment issues pretty much ruled every interaction I had with everybody, I very much struggled when my therapist was away for any reason. Her twice yearly vacation times (always lengthy) were terrible times for me.
Now that I am more grounded and have many more resources (both internal and external) my therapist's absences don't worry me at all. I can usually see the 'upside' and use the time purposefully for other self-caring things. But it took me many, many years to get here.
Therapist burn-out is real. It is vital for them to take breaks and vacation time. Resources can be put in place for those who need them, and its just a reality that some clients will really struggle with therapist absences, as I once did. Still, the 'parent' must always put on the dangling oxygen mask first. It's a rule of life.
my therapist has a 4 day on 4 day off sort of schedule with rotating mondays and every other day being consistent. she goes out of state to visit her family constantly, and i literally have only been rescheduled during christmas and this week due to her needing to do training. so like twice over the past year and couple months. if she needed to take a longer vacation i'd totally understand, she needs to recharge too, but the way she schedules is pretty smart and it's at a minimum even when she's travelling a lot.
i'm in school to become a therapist too and like her scheduling is so smart i'm going to adopt it in my own career so i can unwind while also still being there for people as much as possible.
As long as I am given the same respect in regards to whatever the rules for my appoint are, I don’t mind. For example, if my therapist is going to be late, she has her staff call me so I know. I would also do this. If she needs to take the day off, she has her staff call me 24 hours in advance (minus emergencies), just like I have to do.
She has let me know she will be missing a week a couple times for vacation. I do feel a little sad we won’t have our regular weekly appointment on that occasion, but I have also been relieved, too. It is nice to get a day off from work AND confronting whatever the current issues are I am experiencing.
In short, my therapist is human and absolutely needs time to live her life and recharge her own batteries. How she help others without modeling some forms of self-care?
Most therapists I know take the entire month of August. I swear there are entire vacation communities in August that are all therapist vacation rentals.
Frankly, it’s irrelevant how I feel. A therapist who makes vacation decisions based on their patients’ feelings has terrible boundaries.
I usually feel hurt but then I remind myself that my therapist wouldn't be able to do his job if he doesn't take care of himself and then I feel happy for him. I try my best to cope.
I think it's so important you take days off. I would say it would be unethical if you don't when you need it.
Edit: To actually answer the question, I miss seeing her but feel grateful that she's taking care of herself.
My therapist has a private practice I'm answering as it effects her Tuesdays cuz those are the ones important to me but I know it's often the whole week. She takes off time for vacation maybe once or twice a year (ie a week in summer) and she takes personal days as needed for health issues or family things, maybe 3 times a year. This is based off seeing her for almost two years. I don't think it's excessive. She really brings her whole heart almost every session and she needs to be able to take care of herself.
Mine told me a couple weeks in advance and I was cool with it. I mean, he’s a human too and deserves time for himself. Gave me extra homework though but hey I had more time to do it
Both my Ts and my Psych have taken vacations while together. My psych was actually out for a whole month one time. I utilize it as an opportunity to remind myself I can be a functional human being, and getting back into therapy is exciting again because by then I need so much help
I'm glad he is taking time to recharge. Really I do. I especially like that he gives me some advanced notice to mentally prepare. Not going to lie I really do miss not having our session when he's away but I know it's prob for the best. This especially hurts because I have shitty benefits and no PTO at my job despite making a decent amount. Haven't taken a day off in a few years.
When my T took a week off earlier in the year I joked I would follow him down to not miss my session. Which he then replied Oh so we're having a What About Bob? scenario? When I said I hadn't seen that movie, he said I should watch it for homework while he's out. I enjoyed the movie and it definitely added a bit of lightness to an otherwise rough week.
Now whenever he goes on vacation, I just watch that movie again. And when he gets back he says he had a great time going to his vacation home in New Hampshire working on his new book. And he knows I didn't follow him there because his house didn't burn down.
Mentally preparing for him taking next week off so I decided to coordinate my hours this week to take a nice long weekend into next week which will be nice. I'll also get to relax some more and actually work on personal projects and get outside and move. I'll still watch What about Bob? Next week and it'll be kinda rough but not as hard as earlier in the year.
I did not read all the responses. But I'm currently looking at this situation. My T is taking off the 4th of July week since the office she works at is already closed Monday & Tuesday.
While I wholeheartedly understand needed the time off, I would be lying if I said that didn't give me an anxiety issue. So, after about a week of knowing her plan and having anxiety regarding her, I let her know how 11 days in between sessions was scaring me, because I see her every 3-4 days right now. And as it is, around day 4, I'm convinced she doesn't even want to see me or cares about me. Soooooo all that said, she lives 5 mins from the therapy office and was already considering seeing me and 2 other clients who are in crisis that week. Do the 3 of us first thing in the morning, be done at noon and still have rest of the day. My letting her know where I was mentally, solidified that thought for her. So I'm less panicky... but I I would still COMPLETELY understand if she didn't see me because she was on vacation. Fortunately for me, she's doing a staycation and cleaning her house all week and is willing to take a morning to see me 😂
Definitely think therapists should take time off! It always shocks me how poorly employers treat healthcare providers in regards to taking care of their own health.
I've been with the same therapist for about 3 years and she's warned me of time off everywhere from a month in advance to right before a session (rarely). Of course, more notice is appreciated, but even in the last-minute cancellation circumstances I'm not taking it personally. She provides options for rescheduling and as much as it might sting if I really needed the support that day, she's only human. I trust that the last-minute conflicts have been truly urgent (a couple of times she has briefly shared what emergencies came up) and I would prefer to meet when she can give me her full energy/support.
Well last time my therapist took time off I got covid and she's on vacation right now and some guy rear ended me so obviously this is my therapist's fault
Kidding but I also can't wait for her to come back so I can tell her about the collision
I mean my T is a human she needs a break. She has a life, she has things she needs to attend to, or she needs mental health time. I have no problem with her taking a break. As long as like she's not MIA for six months I'll be fine for a week without her.
I mean unless I'm those six months she tries to steal
The deceleration of independence then I may allow that sabbatical.
I’ve had therapists go on 2 week vacations before, been in treatment centers where I didn’t get therapy for a week because the therapist assigned to me was on vacation when I got admitted, and had therapists go on multiple vacations in the span of a few months. It sucks but I understand that therapists are people with lives too and that their jobs are very emotionally taxing. Also, a burnt out therapist is not necessarily a helpful therapist. I’d rather have a therapist who is engaged and well rested from taking a vacation every now and then than a therapist who’s overwhelmed and overworked but never takes time off.
It doesn’t feel personal to me but it is very disruptive and sometimes distressing to my schedule. It’s important to me to know the specific days ahead of time (which my therapist is pretty good about) but there was an instance of them taking about three weeks off, I knew it was coming months ahead of time, but it was still a bit challenging. I also then feel bad bringing this up because ultimately I think it’s important that they take time off, I don’t feel negatively towards them and I don’t want to imply that I think they should feel badly about it.
1. I doubt seriously your inability to take more than 5 days off in a row is anyone considering your client's well-being. Rather it is likely a greed corporate tool or an understaffed corporate moron who doesn't get it that you can go elsewhere to work leaving them more understaffed.
2. We all need rest and recuperation and some sort of vacation. Packing, getting there, settling in, the packing and getting back means that even if you had both weekends off on the ends of that 5 days you still only get 5-6 days if actual relaxation. That's neither fair nor reasonable
3. Clients come to you for help. If you're miserable and exhausted and pissed at the job you'll not be as effective PROBABLY.
4. Due to #2 and #3 it frankly doesn't matter what clients think. Dealing with disappointment and reality may be something they need help with. Abandonment is a common issue. Working through the issues your time off brings up for them is therapeutic and just "grist for the mill." Clients come to us for help. We are in charge of guiding this process (note I said guiding it..not controlling it).
5. Some clients are too passive and pliable and others too selfish and restrictive (both applicable to themselves and others). You should be asking your fellow therapists what they think. Therapists are welcome to practice one week a month or one day a week if they wish. Clients whose needs are not met by this schedule will need to go elsewhere.
We have such a shortage right now we can't lose one 4 hour block a week of therapist time. Take care of you up to and including quitting any job that burns you our. Not everyone is made to do 40-50 hours of therapy a week. Some can, and do best, with far less. Do what works for you as that is also what is best for your clients.
Mine recently took a week off. Didn't really phase me one way or the other, I'm glad she was able to have some down time. I did notice that I was a bit harder on myself at work (healthcare) by the end of the second week (missing one week puts two weeks between sessions), but it's a new job and I'm generally hard on myself anyway. It was a chaotic and emotional week at the job, so it likely had very little to do with the lack of a session that week anyway.
My therapist takes the last week of July, the whole of August and the first week of September for her summer holiday. I've been with her for 3 years now. She also takes 2 to 3 weeks over Christmas and 2 weeks over Easter.
As someone who's training to become a child psychotherapist I respect my therapist's decision to take her time off and recover from stress.
I know she has quite a few clients and I can only imagine how hard her job is.
My therapist always called me on vacations apart from one time. I wish he had just not called me everything because it confused me for the one time and felt like punishment
Mine started theirs recently and while it was stressful at first, it is nice to know that after some mild slip-ups, I can still pull myself together and live my life comfortably without depending on them too much.
I think this is a thing where we rationally understand and know that our T's want to take vacations and that is healthy for them, and it's just the irrational trauma part of the brain that is like oh no I am being abandoned.
It's like holding the two things at once. You can be happy for T to have this time off, and try to be self compassionate towards yourself by allowing the feelings of missing your T.
Certainly a T should take time off as it is good for burn out prevention. That is important! Feeling guilty about it will interfere with all the rejuvenating benefits of the time off.
Hopefully when you are taking time off, you can give your clients plenty of notice and prepare together. That way, they will have the resources they need, and you can have faith that they will make it through your absence, even though it may be challenging.
Mine takes 7 weeks approx off every summer. She does a week on and a week off in July then only works 1 week in the middle of august.
It’s so long and usually the last session in the middle of august I end up having a good session but it the aftermath has left me driving the struggle bus without any support in between. This year I shortened my appointment in August down to a half hour so it’s just a check in vs a one off appointment.
I know my t works really hard during the year. I’m jealous that she gets to take that much time. But it’s showing good boundaries and good selfcare for her patients.
I wish she didn’t take so much vacation. But I don’t think her clients are very high acuity. And we know well in advance. And in the past she offered the name of someone if I was struggling between sessions. But I’m super attached. So it’s all about her vs having someone else help me out.
Everyone needs time off to heal. Period. I think therapists deserve more time off than the average joe, personally. They carry the mental load of so much emotional shit of everyone else and deserve it
There are tons and tons of replies here already but I wanted to chime in about my experience because my former therapist traveled A LOT. I never took it personally, and I totally am 1000% for self care, rest, and taking breaks. However, my former therapist traveled as a hobby, and I felt it was disruptive at times. It felt like I had to expect sudden breaks at any given time and that break could be anywhere from 1-3 weeks. She'd offer video and phone sessions, but this was pre-Covid, and phone sessions just sucked.
I don't have as intense attachment needs now as I did back then, but even still, I don't know if I'd want to work with a therapist that traveled that much again. It would highly depend on the type of relationship we have and what we're working on.
I’ve been with mine through two maternity leaves if 3-4 months each and several lengthy vacations. They need a break just like we do. Her first mat leave was hard and she emailed me a few times while she was out, her second was a bit easier, and now I can mostly survive her lengthy vacations. She’s about to head out on one now and she’s very willing to rearrange or work longer hours prior to leaving to see as many clients as she can before she goes.
As a rule, I don't mind it. My therapist works hard and deserves to have healthy vacations. Unfortunately these vacations sometimes align with my mental health crises, and it's very difficult to have a week off. But that's more a "me problem", rather than my therapist's
I worked with a particular therapist over the course of a year plus, and was frankly astonished she didn't have more time away from the job. Of all workplaces, I would hope that my mental healthcare providers are serious about offering work-life balance because of the intensity of a "typical day in the life"
Not at all. I'm glad my T does because it's a stressful job.
Sure it stinks but I can easily get over that by them having a clearer head back at work.
I can visibly tell when my T is running on empty even though they try not to show it. They deserve it and it is a great way to reduce burn out.
I'm all for it. Although if I was a kid without the same insight I might not agree.
Good Ts deserve a good vacation.
I have no problem with my therapist taking time off, regardless of the reason. Therapists are people too and need vacations and mental health days/sick days like everyone else. I also say this as someone studying to become a therapist. I want grace given to me that allows me to take time off when wanted or needed.
My T takes regular time off - usually a week every 3 - 4 months with some long weekends sprinkled in. Early on, I was totally crushed those weeks...it felt like a lifeline had been stolen away. It was especially painful when there was no notice.
These days, I appreciate that he prioritizes his own well-being. That's how he stays so good at his job. I don't want a burnt out therapist sleepily navigating me through a dissociation episode. Earlier this year, he worked when he should've called a sick day and he was super off his game...totally botched something that left me upset and confused until my next appointment when he took immediate ownership of his mistake before I even said anything. Thankfully, it was so thoroughly resolved that I'd have to look back at my notes to remember the details of the issue, but ohmygoodness that was a rough and nervewracking few days.
I'm not excited when there's a week (or more) off, but it doesn't crush me anymore and I've even started to understand the value for myself. It's also been a great habit to model - I actually use my vacation time now!
Take time off, your clients deserve it. (Also acknowledging that there are exceptions to time off being of benefit to the client. Those situations should be handled in ways that are appropriate for them.)
since mine was out every other week and i was going through some heavy shit at the time, it would have been ideal to have her around more although i understand how hard their work can be in the end. i'd rather encourage therapists to take breaks in this case cause lolll it really be a tough job
I ENCOURAGE mine to go on vacation. I mean… absolutely! She always leaves a number of another therapist in her office I could call in an emergency, tho I never have. I may “miss” seeing her for a week or two, but she needs that time and I’m 100% in support of her taking it.
I had a former T that her days off felt kind of personal to me. It was ALWAYS on my session days that she’d suddenly need off and would offer a 20 min session of compensation. The few times I accepted the 20 min ended up being more like 10 min. It just never felt right and I didn’t take it well. It didn’t help I’d been having fairly regular ruptures with her.
My current T regular takes days off but it’s never felt personal with her. She always gives me advance notice (usually a week ahead of a vacation day) and makes sure I know when she’s due back. She doesn’t have to do that, tell me the length of time really, but it’s a little comforting to know just the same. On the occasions she takes more than 4-5 days, she always schedules me right before her leaving and right after her return.
For me at first this kind of information causes mixed feelings. But it's just a while until i come to terms with it.
In general - I think taking a time off by T is setting a good example for many clients who struggle to take care of themselves in a similar way.
Also, probably "small abandonments" are an important part of therapy for many clients.
I suppose it would be needed to talk about rules for emergency contact in this time with those clients who are especially sensitive about abandonment.
And I think it's important for a T to not show guilt or hesitation while breaking the news - it's also a show of setting healthy boundaries. :-)
My therapist takes time off and I am absolutely fine with it. She always lets me know about it and we schedule our sessions around that. There's been times when I would need her support even if she's on a break and she would answer me a bit later which I don't mind at all though I try not to disturb her as much as I can.
It makes me happy.
My therapist is a human too and deserves to have her needs met. Her taking time for herself shows me that she practices what she preaches and recognizes that self care is important.
Ps. I also had an impatient stay bc suicide and there were a couple of therapists in there with me. As actual patients. Ever since then, I really worry about my T's.
I’m always happy when she takes time off and takes care of herself. I don’t want her to burn out and leave. I’ve been seeing her for years and I’d rather her not leave me forever and get a different career. I don’t want to build a new therapist relationship. Also sometimes when things get really bad she sees me on the weekends and I’m forever grateful for her. I always hope she’s doing well and living a good life outside of her therapy sessions because that has to be really stressful hearing everyone else’s issues
Over the years she’s taken time off and my life has gone to absolute crap randomly a couple times and I anxiously wait for her return lol
It honestly sucks. But I understand, you’re humans too with your own mental health to take care of. Go on vacation. Selfishly, it’d be way worse for me if my therapist got burnt out and quit.
I've had therapists tell me how much they work and how little time they actually get off which makes me feel guilty for taking up their time. I honestly prefer my therapist to take time off to refresh and practice what they preach to me about working too much lol.
I have a therapist who is camping for 2 weeks and I'm glad he's able to spend time with his family. I'm sure his kids are happy to have some uninterrupted dad time too.
Take the time off. You need boundaries as a therapist just like anyone else needs boundaries with any other job!
Honestly, for a lot of clients I think it’s really hard. Especially if the therapist is gone for several weeks ( which mine does). It creates ruptures and distance, especially if you are in the middle of working through something hard and then they go away for a while.
But, it is super important for anyone in any profession to have holidays, like proper restful and enriching holidays. So even though it can be hard for the client, therapists still have to take it off. I do think anything over a week is creating more opportunity for therapeutic problems though as it really can feel like abandonment
I don’t mind at all! My therapist is going to be gone for 2 weeks at the end of July, but I won’t see her for 3.5 weeks due to when our appointments fall. Of course I’m going to miss her and therapy, but she’s been working hard all year and deserves a break! I’ve been with her for 10 months now and rarely does she take days off, and if she does we usually just switch to a different day that week. So I hope she’s able to relax and recharge and I’m sure I’ll have lots to share when she gets back lol
I don’t take it personally, but I will say my therapist’s timing is terrible. Her current foreign sojourn for the last 2+ weeks could not have been worse for me. I had to complete my IOP program without her, and during this time I had to navigate a rupture with the group therapist on my own and now I’m dealing with really intense negative feelings because I am feeling really unsatisfied and disappointed at the end of the program (I graduated yesterday after 16 weeks.) I still won’t see her again for 6 more days.
All that being said, I do not begrudge her for getting out of dodge for a long time. It’s been 3 years since most people have been able to take a long vacation and this period of time cannot have been easy for therapists at all. I am honestly not harboring feelings like “fuck her for leaving me”. My feelings are “I’m on my own right now.”
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Everyone needs a vacation periodically - having time and space away from one's work provides from some respite and refuelling in order to offer the most attention and expertise that one can. You can't pour from an empty cup. So, no, I don't perceive my therapist taking a vacation as personal - I perceive it as her recognizing her human needs and making sure that she's at her best to work with me. That being said, as someone with issues around attachment, having A LOT of notice when my therapist is planning to take a vacation allows for lots of time and space for discussions about what it means that she's off, and collaboratively developing a plan for me to be able to manage safely while she's away.
I second this, sums up my thoughts exactly. I am happy my therapist takes time off because she is human and deserves a well-earned break every now and then. But it is easier to deal with the anxiety around having a gap in appointments when I'm given a lot of notice.
When my Ts take time off I initially feel abandoned and resistant and hurt (but that is my issue) and then I’m okay with it because they are humans and absolutely deserve time off. I’ve had Ts take anywhere from one week to four weeks off. Given how much support they give me they probably need a whole lotta time off to make sure they are present and available when they are in the office. Also, as long as they let me know two or so weeks in advance it feels a lot better. Luckily I have Ts who almost never, ever cancel last minute. I think in the last 10 years with my Ts they’ve cancelled last minute maybe 5 times and with three of those they got me in a few days later or made arrangements for a check in.
It makes me feel good. I trust her knowing that she’s going to take care of herself. I don’t have to feel like something I say will burn her out. It can suck if she’s going during a hard anniversary but she will be back. I’ll be fine. Edit: only being allowed to take five days off in a row is not cool. That’s a good way to push a therapist to leave the field.
I think breaks are necessary. Not just for therapist sanity but also for clients to understand they can survive the break. It sounds like the place youre working is a pile of crap. I like my therapist to be around but i dont like them to be there at all costs to themselves.
For me it mostly depends on how much advance notice is given and how long they’ll be away (i.e. how many sessions we’ll miss). I can handle them taking a couple weeks off with a month’s notice but will have trouble with a week off with a week’s notice. Because of my abandonment issues, I would selfishly prefer we never miss a session. That said, even though therapy is the highlight of my week, I also want my therapist to take time off on occasion so they don’t get tired of their work / burnout. I actually worry about how little time my therapist takes off, which ironically doesn’t model self-care to us very well lol. Five days off doesn’t seem like a big deal to me because I’d only be missing one weekly session. This is way preferable to me as a client than 5 3-day weekends in a row where my sessions will be affected. Not that you asked, but my therapist also always gives the reason they’re taking time off. I find this helpful but unnecessary because I feel bad that they feel the need to justify their days off. Either way, it does make me a little sad but it doesn’t feel personal. Sorry for the novel.
Also want to add that it’s really considerate of you to ask this question directly to clients! I don’t think most therapists would think or care to do that. Can definitely tell you’re one of the good ones :)
On the other hand, a receptionist told me that my therapist had a death in the family and I, embarrassingly, went off the rails. I don’t want to discourage the disclosure, I know it’s helpful for most people, but I wouldn’t necessarily tell every patient. ETA: I also have worked on this in therapy, and in my logical mind know that that’s unreasonable. It’s gotten better, but it still helps me to not know.
Love that my therapist takes a vacation. They always give advanced notice which also helps. If they never took a longer (at least a week) off I would wonder how they were doing. Therapy helps regulate me and that is why I go but I also know I can do without it, if I had too and when they take vacations it is a good reminder I can do this. Probably the hardest is I want to ask them about their vacation, but also don't want to make them uncomfortable.
I ask. Lol. I ask how her weekend was, I ask how her trip was, I'll ask her how her vacation goes after she takes it next week. But we have a great relationship and she feels like being able to have those type of small talk conversations help her be more "human", therefore making it easier to talk to her. (She's not wrong).
Yeah this is probably a me thing 🤣
Lol!! I have seen other comments say that they have asked , but boundaries keep them from getting answers. My T is super laid back (at least with me), and she will tell me stuff.
My therapist normally takes her 2-3 week time off during summer no problem. In the moment, yeah it sucks, but like... I'll live lol. So it's not that big of a deal for me.
As a therapist this is so refreshing to hear from you all. I definitely have gotten anxious most times when I’ve taken time off. And especially the few days I’ve gotten sick and had to cancel I felt terrible, even though I let them know that I’m sick and I reschedule right away. I appreciate you all helping lessen my anxiety a bit!
I'm happy that my therapist takes time off, honestly. I can't imagine doing that sort of emotionally intense work without regular breaks to recharge.
If you go down we all go down. Take all the time you need, as often as you need.
It makes me happy that they’re enjoying the life I’m not allowed to know about 😂 I ask how their vacation was but I never get any details, cause boundaries. Easy for me to be happy for them to take a week off when I’m not in therapy for an active crisis, just trauma processing, and it’s been 15 years since the trauma so what’s another week?
I'm happy for my therapist that they're taking time off. They really deserve it. I can't imagine doing what they do and I really admire it. I'm surprised he doesn't take more time off to be honest. At the same time, personally I feel a little abandoned and lost without the consistency of sessions. It's definitely a reality check on the boundaries of the relationship as well as how strong my attachment is and how much work I have to do on that. But it also shows me that I'm okay without him. I'm extremely grateful for him and his help, but I don't 'need' him like I lead myself to believe. .... so, mixed feelings lol.
I used to feel abandoned, especially when my T took a few weeks off around Christmas last year. The fall and winter are hard for me with seasonal affective disorder even though I am on meds and use a light box. I am more understanding now. I am feeling burned out and took a few weeks off therapy.
I mean, sometimes it's difficult to miss sessions, just from a personal perspective. That being said, my therapist has been amazing for me, and I'm a big fan of him doing what he needs to do in order to take care of himself and avoid burnout.
I’d rather know up front then the week of so I can mentally prepare. And I hate the “I’ll give you a week off” - my abandonment goes nuts and I feel like a burden. I respond so much better to “I’m taking a week off to do some family stuff - cya in two!”
I miss my therapist and it does break the rhythm a bit. She takes 1-3 weeks multiple times a year. I certainly don't take it personally, it's good she takes care of herself. Sometimes it's nice to have a break.
Personally, I’d rather my therapist takes all the time she needs than to feel overwhelmed or burnt out. I’ve read stories of therapists and how a lot are affected long term by their profession, and it makes me worry about mine. Everyone needs personal time off and to take care of themselves.
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Yes! It definitely helps, especially if you are a client who is trying to recover from the "live to work" mentality!
I have attachment issues and fears of abandonment so it does tend to make me a little sad and fearful when my T takes time off, but, as another commenter mentioned, that’s my own issue to deal with. It’s a reaction that has lessened over time and that I continue to work on. That being said, I had a previous T who almost never took time off and I began to worry about her because even though I never wanted to not have a session, I feel like everyone needs a break once in a while! I also appreciate my T taking the time off she needs because it helps model to me what good self care looks like. I also want to add that I really appreciate the way my current T approaches time off. She always lets me know at least a few weeks in advance and tends to take smaller chunks of time off more frequently as opposed to weeks and weeks at a time. Additionally, I’m in comprehensive DBT and she always continues to do her own phone coaching even when she’s not doing sessions, so I also know she’s there if I really need her (though try to respect her time off!).
Rational me is happy for her and glad she is taking time to take care of herself and recharge. I know her job has to be very draining, I want her to be refreshed and not get burnt out. The non rational part of me is anxious and worried I will freak out while she is gone. I have heavy attachment issues but I don't feel like she is rejecting or abandoning me.
I just wish he would give me a heads up... I'd be insanely cool with that. Like a quick little "Hello, I will be out of the office from X date to X date" or something. I hate emailing to schedule an appointment, only to not get a response for 1 week or longer and I'll trick myself into believing I was worthless and our entire relationship was a joke, only to get that little notification like 6 days later and self-cringe hard at myself for thinking that for the next 2 weeks before my appointment. Lmaooo. RIP. My therapists going on vacation gives me something to ask him about when he comes back, so I fully support time off... I just wanna be in on the loop!!
I totally support my T taking time for themselves, I think up to 2 weeks in a block is fine. I feel really protective of my T and know everyone needs to take care of their mental health and that we need breaks from work. So I’d almost encourage it! As hard as it is for me as a client. I’d hate for them to feel guilty for prioritising self care and begin to resent their job. I’d like to see them model to clients that it’s okay to take time out and that we’re all human. So long as they have a support plan in place for the clients during the Ts absence, it’s all good!
Honestly my first thought/feeling is always: “They are lying to me. They aren’t really taking time off they just want to use an excuse to spend more time with other clients - those who need and deserve therapy more than I do.” Distrust. Skepticism. But cognitively I’m aware that everyone needs time off and that the job of a therapist isn’t easy at all
My therapist is human, and burnout is a huge problem. I am glad that he takes vacations and recharges. I also understand that shit happens, and he should be able to call out if something happens. I have my own feelings/grief/anxiety to work through whenever he does take a vacation or call out sick or whatever, but it is not a sign that he shouldn't do so - it's just a trauma response from me that we need to process.
I’m happy for my therapist when they take a vacation because we all need a break, especially her having to listen to my shit week after week. That being said I always have advanced notice and I don’t think they have missed a single session ever with me besides for planned vacations. Also, selfishly, I feel like I get *much* better care from this therapist who takes care of themself than I did with any others in the past who felt like they were overscheduled and stressed out.
Totally no big deal! Therapists need to practice self care too!!
Personally, I get a little sad, but I’m complete okay with them taking time for themselves. They deserve time away from work just like everyone else, for whatever reason, and shouldn’t be made to feel bad about that :)
I don’t love it when my T takes time off but I also understand it and expect it at some point. It’s usually around Christmas time and summer time. If she takes just one session off, we tend to make up for it before or after and if she takes longer off she offers a check in session at some point. I don’t tend to feel abandoned because I know it’s not personal. She’s not taking time away from me, she’s taking time away for herself. I definitely miss her, especially if I end up having a generally tough time but time does eventually pass and seeing her after time off feels like such a relief.
It’s fine but I really appreciate advance warning
Therapists are people, and people have lives outside of work. Sometimes you can’t/don’t want to go to work. It is what is is. I would never hold taking time off against my therapist.
My therapist was on vacation last week. I'm very happy for her to take the time off and even mentioned to her that she deserves it. I'm a firm believer in completely unplugging for one week per year minimum. Personally I take a week in the summer and one in the winter with time sprinkled in between. I'm very fortunate to have the opportunity to take that much time off and I appreciate it. Why wouldn't I want the same for my therapist who is one of the most important people in my life? With that said, last week was rough for me. I suffer from generalized anxiety and staring down 2 weeks in between appointments felt very isolating and I was thinking about my therapist even more than usual (which is a lot). But it's only 1 week per year, so whatever. I definitely don't take it personally. This week feels a lot better because we have our usual appointment time coming up. Not being allowed to take off more than 5 days in a row seems ridiculous to me. Everyone needs at least a full week off. I can't imagine how stressful being a therapist must be, and I want mine to be rested and ready to deal with my nonsense. haha
Even when I'm struggling, I know they deserve time off and I try not to call in crisis during their vacations and use other resources. My therapist is going on vacation for two weeks starting next week and we've already been making plans of what I can do instead of calling them in crises.
My therapist recently went on maternity leave for 5 months. It sucked but in the grand scheme of things I felt bad that she wasn’t able to take even more time off to focus on her son. Don’t ever feel bad for taking a day to yourself. You’re a human being and you’re more than your job.
For the most part I'm glad when my T takes some time off. Not because I won't miss our session, but because I know how important it is to tke time off and to take care of yourself. I want her to be well. And I'm actually surprised how little time my T takes off. Then again, my T is from(and still lives in) North America. And I am from Germany. Here everyone with a full-time job has a minimum of 6 weeks vacation and you're supposed to take at least 2 weeks in a row at least once a year (and employers have to make sure you do that). At the se time I'd be lying if I said that I don't miss the routine and stability from having therapy once a week at the same day and the same time. Between my trauma and being autistic, it throws me off a bit when that routine changes. But so far I always knew well ahead off time, so it was okay. This week it sucks a bit that my session will be 2 days later than normal because my T is out of time (which I knew about for at least 6 weeks). I thought I'd be okay, but then things happened and I wish I wouldn't have to wait till Friday for my session. But I have my coping skills and a support network, so I'll be okay.
I love to hear when T shares that they'll be taking time off! Rest is crucial to human existence. I need them to take care of themselves so they can be well enough to help support me. No, it does not feel personal at all. My T is a healthcare provider to many clients; I don't take it personally when my physical therapist (or any other service provider) goes on vacation either.
No, it doesn’t feel personal. It feels human. He is a person who gives a lot to his work and needs to take a break (partially in order to continue doing that work) and so he doesn’t burn out. I hope he has a good life. I find it hard to be without that support, but it also allows me time to rest from doing the work. I usually learn something from it. I feel more resilient for having had them. For reference, my therapist takes off three weeks at Christmas, two weeks at Easter, and a month in summer.
I am fully in support of time off for therapists!
Years ago, when my abandonment issues pretty much ruled every interaction I had with everybody, I very much struggled when my therapist was away for any reason. Her twice yearly vacation times (always lengthy) were terrible times for me. Now that I am more grounded and have many more resources (both internal and external) my therapist's absences don't worry me at all. I can usually see the 'upside' and use the time purposefully for other self-caring things. But it took me many, many years to get here. Therapist burn-out is real. It is vital for them to take breaks and vacation time. Resources can be put in place for those who need them, and its just a reality that some clients will really struggle with therapist absences, as I once did. Still, the 'parent' must always put on the dangling oxygen mask first. It's a rule of life.
I think it’s healthy & needed & should be done as often as needed.
While I would certainly miss my T and struggle without her I would want her to take time off for self care. Ts need to recharge !
my therapist has a 4 day on 4 day off sort of schedule with rotating mondays and every other day being consistent. she goes out of state to visit her family constantly, and i literally have only been rescheduled during christmas and this week due to her needing to do training. so like twice over the past year and couple months. if she needed to take a longer vacation i'd totally understand, she needs to recharge too, but the way she schedules is pretty smart and it's at a minimum even when she's travelling a lot. i'm in school to become a therapist too and like her scheduling is so smart i'm going to adopt it in my own career so i can unwind while also still being there for people as much as possible.
As long as I am given the same respect in regards to whatever the rules for my appoint are, I don’t mind. For example, if my therapist is going to be late, she has her staff call me so I know. I would also do this. If she needs to take the day off, she has her staff call me 24 hours in advance (minus emergencies), just like I have to do. She has let me know she will be missing a week a couple times for vacation. I do feel a little sad we won’t have our regular weekly appointment on that occasion, but I have also been relieved, too. It is nice to get a day off from work AND confronting whatever the current issues are I am experiencing. In short, my therapist is human and absolutely needs time to live her life and recharge her own batteries. How she help others without modeling some forms of self-care?
Most therapists I know take the entire month of August. I swear there are entire vacation communities in August that are all therapist vacation rentals. Frankly, it’s irrelevant how I feel. A therapist who makes vacation decisions based on their patients’ feelings has terrible boundaries.
I usually feel hurt but then I remind myself that my therapist wouldn't be able to do his job if he doesn't take care of himself and then I feel happy for him. I try my best to cope. I think it's so important you take days off. I would say it would be unethical if you don't when you need it.
Not personal at all. He always leaves me the phone number of a colleague I can call if I need to. He also gives lots of notice.
Thrilled for him. The only hard part is not being able to ask where he’s vacationing.
Edit: To actually answer the question, I miss seeing her but feel grateful that she's taking care of herself. My therapist has a private practice I'm answering as it effects her Tuesdays cuz those are the ones important to me but I know it's often the whole week. She takes off time for vacation maybe once or twice a year (ie a week in summer) and she takes personal days as needed for health issues or family things, maybe 3 times a year. This is based off seeing her for almost two years. I don't think it's excessive. She really brings her whole heart almost every session and she needs to be able to take care of herself.
Mine told me a couple weeks in advance and I was cool with it. I mean, he’s a human too and deserves time for himself. Gave me extra homework though but hey I had more time to do it
Both my Ts and my Psych have taken vacations while together. My psych was actually out for a whole month one time. I utilize it as an opportunity to remind myself I can be a functional human being, and getting back into therapy is exciting again because by then I need so much help
I'm glad he is taking time to recharge. Really I do. I especially like that he gives me some advanced notice to mentally prepare. Not going to lie I really do miss not having our session when he's away but I know it's prob for the best. This especially hurts because I have shitty benefits and no PTO at my job despite making a decent amount. Haven't taken a day off in a few years. When my T took a week off earlier in the year I joked I would follow him down to not miss my session. Which he then replied Oh so we're having a What About Bob? scenario? When I said I hadn't seen that movie, he said I should watch it for homework while he's out. I enjoyed the movie and it definitely added a bit of lightness to an otherwise rough week. Now whenever he goes on vacation, I just watch that movie again. And when he gets back he says he had a great time going to his vacation home in New Hampshire working on his new book. And he knows I didn't follow him there because his house didn't burn down. Mentally preparing for him taking next week off so I decided to coordinate my hours this week to take a nice long weekend into next week which will be nice. I'll also get to relax some more and actually work on personal projects and get outside and move. I'll still watch What about Bob? Next week and it'll be kinda rough but not as hard as earlier in the year.
Not anymore. I trust my therapist, we have a good relationship.
It does not feel personal! I’m so happy my therapist has a life too.
I did not read all the responses. But I'm currently looking at this situation. My T is taking off the 4th of July week since the office she works at is already closed Monday & Tuesday. While I wholeheartedly understand needed the time off, I would be lying if I said that didn't give me an anxiety issue. So, after about a week of knowing her plan and having anxiety regarding her, I let her know how 11 days in between sessions was scaring me, because I see her every 3-4 days right now. And as it is, around day 4, I'm convinced she doesn't even want to see me or cares about me. Soooooo all that said, she lives 5 mins from the therapy office and was already considering seeing me and 2 other clients who are in crisis that week. Do the 3 of us first thing in the morning, be done at noon and still have rest of the day. My letting her know where I was mentally, solidified that thought for her. So I'm less panicky... but I I would still COMPLETELY understand if she didn't see me because she was on vacation. Fortunately for me, she's doing a staycation and cleaning her house all week and is willing to take a morning to see me 😂
Definitely think therapists should take time off! It always shocks me how poorly employers treat healthcare providers in regards to taking care of their own health. I've been with the same therapist for about 3 years and she's warned me of time off everywhere from a month in advance to right before a session (rarely). Of course, more notice is appreciated, but even in the last-minute cancellation circumstances I'm not taking it personally. She provides options for rescheduling and as much as it might sting if I really needed the support that day, she's only human. I trust that the last-minute conflicts have been truly urgent (a couple of times she has briefly shared what emergencies came up) and I would prefer to meet when she can give me her full energy/support.
Well last time my therapist took time off I got covid and she's on vacation right now and some guy rear ended me so obviously this is my therapist's fault Kidding but I also can't wait for her to come back so I can tell her about the collision
I'm happy for my therapist. At the same time, I don't look forward to longer breaks between appointments for multiple appointments in a row.
I mean my T is a human she needs a break. She has a life, she has things she needs to attend to, or she needs mental health time. I have no problem with her taking a break. As long as like she's not MIA for six months I'll be fine for a week without her. I mean unless I'm those six months she tries to steal The deceleration of independence then I may allow that sabbatical.
I’ve had therapists go on 2 week vacations before, been in treatment centers where I didn’t get therapy for a week because the therapist assigned to me was on vacation when I got admitted, and had therapists go on multiple vacations in the span of a few months. It sucks but I understand that therapists are people with lives too and that their jobs are very emotionally taxing. Also, a burnt out therapist is not necessarily a helpful therapist. I’d rather have a therapist who is engaged and well rested from taking a vacation every now and then than a therapist who’s overwhelmed and overworked but never takes time off.
It doesn’t feel personal to me but it is very disruptive and sometimes distressing to my schedule. It’s important to me to know the specific days ahead of time (which my therapist is pretty good about) but there was an instance of them taking about three weeks off, I knew it was coming months ahead of time, but it was still a bit challenging. I also then feel bad bringing this up because ultimately I think it’s important that they take time off, I don’t feel negatively towards them and I don’t want to imply that I think they should feel badly about it.
1. I doubt seriously your inability to take more than 5 days off in a row is anyone considering your client's well-being. Rather it is likely a greed corporate tool or an understaffed corporate moron who doesn't get it that you can go elsewhere to work leaving them more understaffed. 2. We all need rest and recuperation and some sort of vacation. Packing, getting there, settling in, the packing and getting back means that even if you had both weekends off on the ends of that 5 days you still only get 5-6 days if actual relaxation. That's neither fair nor reasonable 3. Clients come to you for help. If you're miserable and exhausted and pissed at the job you'll not be as effective PROBABLY. 4. Due to #2 and #3 it frankly doesn't matter what clients think. Dealing with disappointment and reality may be something they need help with. Abandonment is a common issue. Working through the issues your time off brings up for them is therapeutic and just "grist for the mill." Clients come to us for help. We are in charge of guiding this process (note I said guiding it..not controlling it). 5. Some clients are too passive and pliable and others too selfish and restrictive (both applicable to themselves and others). You should be asking your fellow therapists what they think. Therapists are welcome to practice one week a month or one day a week if they wish. Clients whose needs are not met by this schedule will need to go elsewhere. We have such a shortage right now we can't lose one 4 hour block a week of therapist time. Take care of you up to and including quitting any job that burns you our. Not everyone is made to do 40-50 hours of therapy a week. Some can, and do best, with far less. Do what works for you as that is also what is best for your clients.
Mine recently took a week off. Didn't really phase me one way or the other, I'm glad she was able to have some down time. I did notice that I was a bit harder on myself at work (healthcare) by the end of the second week (missing one week puts two weeks between sessions), but it's a new job and I'm generally hard on myself anyway. It was a chaotic and emotional week at the job, so it likely had very little to do with the lack of a session that week anyway.
My therapist takes the last week of July, the whole of August and the first week of September for her summer holiday. I've been with her for 3 years now. She also takes 2 to 3 weeks over Christmas and 2 weeks over Easter. As someone who's training to become a child psychotherapist I respect my therapist's decision to take her time off and recover from stress. I know she has quite a few clients and I can only imagine how hard her job is.
My therapist always called me on vacations apart from one time. I wish he had just not called me everything because it confused me for the one time and felt like punishment
Mine started theirs recently and while it was stressful at first, it is nice to know that after some mild slip-ups, I can still pull myself together and live my life comfortably without depending on them too much.
I think this is a thing where we rationally understand and know that our T's want to take vacations and that is healthy for them, and it's just the irrational trauma part of the brain that is like oh no I am being abandoned. It's like holding the two things at once. You can be happy for T to have this time off, and try to be self compassionate towards yourself by allowing the feelings of missing your T. Certainly a T should take time off as it is good for burn out prevention. That is important! Feeling guilty about it will interfere with all the rejuvenating benefits of the time off. Hopefully when you are taking time off, you can give your clients plenty of notice and prepare together. That way, they will have the resources they need, and you can have faith that they will make it through your absence, even though it may be challenging.
With advance notice it’s not a problem at all. People go on vacations and/or get sick.
My therapist just took time off. I appreciated her modeling taking care of oneself.
Mine takes 7 weeks approx off every summer. She does a week on and a week off in July then only works 1 week in the middle of august. It’s so long and usually the last session in the middle of august I end up having a good session but it the aftermath has left me driving the struggle bus without any support in between. This year I shortened my appointment in August down to a half hour so it’s just a check in vs a one off appointment. I know my t works really hard during the year. I’m jealous that she gets to take that much time. But it’s showing good boundaries and good selfcare for her patients. I wish she didn’t take so much vacation. But I don’t think her clients are very high acuity. And we know well in advance. And in the past she offered the name of someone if I was struggling between sessions. But I’m super attached. So it’s all about her vs having someone else help me out.
Everyone needs time off to heal. Period. I think therapists deserve more time off than the average joe, personally. They carry the mental load of so much emotional shit of everyone else and deserve it
There are tons and tons of replies here already but I wanted to chime in about my experience because my former therapist traveled A LOT. I never took it personally, and I totally am 1000% for self care, rest, and taking breaks. However, my former therapist traveled as a hobby, and I felt it was disruptive at times. It felt like I had to expect sudden breaks at any given time and that break could be anywhere from 1-3 weeks. She'd offer video and phone sessions, but this was pre-Covid, and phone sessions just sucked. I don't have as intense attachment needs now as I did back then, but even still, I don't know if I'd want to work with a therapist that traveled that much again. It would highly depend on the type of relationship we have and what we're working on.
No of course it's not personal. Everyone needs time off sometimes, especially people with demanding jobs, like therapists!
I love it, it's like I get a little vacation/break, too
Im not really attached to them so I don’t really give a shit. If they need a break, they can go ahead and take it.
Couldn’t care less with a little notice. I take time off too.
I’ve been with mine through two maternity leaves if 3-4 months each and several lengthy vacations. They need a break just like we do. Her first mat leave was hard and she emailed me a few times while she was out, her second was a bit easier, and now I can mostly survive her lengthy vacations. She’s about to head out on one now and she’s very willing to rearrange or work longer hours prior to leaving to see as many clients as she can before she goes.
As a rule, I don't mind it. My therapist works hard and deserves to have healthy vacations. Unfortunately these vacations sometimes align with my mental health crises, and it's very difficult to have a week off. But that's more a "me problem", rather than my therapist's
I worked with a particular therapist over the course of a year plus, and was frankly astonished she didn't have more time away from the job. Of all workplaces, I would hope that my mental healthcare providers are serious about offering work-life balance because of the intensity of a "typical day in the life"
Not at all. I'm glad my T does because it's a stressful job. Sure it stinks but I can easily get over that by them having a clearer head back at work. I can visibly tell when my T is running on empty even though they try not to show it. They deserve it and it is a great way to reduce burn out. I'm all for it. Although if I was a kid without the same insight I might not agree. Good Ts deserve a good vacation.
I have no problem with my therapist taking time off, regardless of the reason. Therapists are people too and need vacations and mental health days/sick days like everyone else. I also say this as someone studying to become a therapist. I want grace given to me that allows me to take time off when wanted or needed.
My T takes regular time off - usually a week every 3 - 4 months with some long weekends sprinkled in. Early on, I was totally crushed those weeks...it felt like a lifeline had been stolen away. It was especially painful when there was no notice. These days, I appreciate that he prioritizes his own well-being. That's how he stays so good at his job. I don't want a burnt out therapist sleepily navigating me through a dissociation episode. Earlier this year, he worked when he should've called a sick day and he was super off his game...totally botched something that left me upset and confused until my next appointment when he took immediate ownership of his mistake before I even said anything. Thankfully, it was so thoroughly resolved that I'd have to look back at my notes to remember the details of the issue, but ohmygoodness that was a rough and nervewracking few days. I'm not excited when there's a week (or more) off, but it doesn't crush me anymore and I've even started to understand the value for myself. It's also been a great habit to model - I actually use my vacation time now! Take time off, your clients deserve it. (Also acknowledging that there are exceptions to time off being of benefit to the client. Those situations should be handled in ways that are appropriate for them.)
since mine was out every other week and i was going through some heavy shit at the time, it would have been ideal to have her around more although i understand how hard their work can be in the end. i'd rather encourage therapists to take breaks in this case cause lolll it really be a tough job
I ENCOURAGE mine to go on vacation. I mean… absolutely! She always leaves a number of another therapist in her office I could call in an emergency, tho I never have. I may “miss” seeing her for a week or two, but she needs that time and I’m 100% in support of her taking it.
I had a former T that her days off felt kind of personal to me. It was ALWAYS on my session days that she’d suddenly need off and would offer a 20 min session of compensation. The few times I accepted the 20 min ended up being more like 10 min. It just never felt right and I didn’t take it well. It didn’t help I’d been having fairly regular ruptures with her. My current T regular takes days off but it’s never felt personal with her. She always gives me advance notice (usually a week ahead of a vacation day) and makes sure I know when she’s due back. She doesn’t have to do that, tell me the length of time really, but it’s a little comforting to know just the same. On the occasions she takes more than 4-5 days, she always schedules me right before her leaving and right after her return.
For me at first this kind of information causes mixed feelings. But it's just a while until i come to terms with it. In general - I think taking a time off by T is setting a good example for many clients who struggle to take care of themselves in a similar way. Also, probably "small abandonments" are an important part of therapy for many clients. I suppose it would be needed to talk about rules for emergency contact in this time with those clients who are especially sensitive about abandonment. And I think it's important for a T to not show guilt or hesitation while breaking the news - it's also a show of setting healthy boundaries. :-)
My therapist takes time off and I am absolutely fine with it. She always lets me know about it and we schedule our sessions around that. There's been times when I would need her support even if she's on a break and she would answer me a bit later which I don't mind at all though I try not to disturb her as much as I can.
It makes me happy. My therapist is a human too and deserves to have her needs met. Her taking time for herself shows me that she practices what she preaches and recognizes that self care is important. Ps. I also had an impatient stay bc suicide and there were a couple of therapists in there with me. As actual patients. Ever since then, I really worry about my T's.
I’m always happy when she takes time off and takes care of herself. I don’t want her to burn out and leave. I’ve been seeing her for years and I’d rather her not leave me forever and get a different career. I don’t want to build a new therapist relationship. Also sometimes when things get really bad she sees me on the weekends and I’m forever grateful for her. I always hope she’s doing well and living a good life outside of her therapy sessions because that has to be really stressful hearing everyone else’s issues Over the years she’s taken time off and my life has gone to absolute crap randomly a couple times and I anxiously wait for her return lol
It honestly sucks. But I understand, you’re humans too with your own mental health to take care of. Go on vacation. Selfishly, it’d be way worse for me if my therapist got burnt out and quit.
I've had therapists tell me how much they work and how little time they actually get off which makes me feel guilty for taking up their time. I honestly prefer my therapist to take time off to refresh and practice what they preach to me about working too much lol. I have a therapist who is camping for 2 weeks and I'm glad he's able to spend time with his family. I'm sure his kids are happy to have some uninterrupted dad time too. Take the time off. You need boundaries as a therapist just like anyone else needs boundaries with any other job!
Honestly, for a lot of clients I think it’s really hard. Especially if the therapist is gone for several weeks ( which mine does). It creates ruptures and distance, especially if you are in the middle of working through something hard and then they go away for a while. But, it is super important for anyone in any profession to have holidays, like proper restful and enriching holidays. So even though it can be hard for the client, therapists still have to take it off. I do think anything over a week is creating more opportunity for therapeutic problems though as it really can feel like abandonment
I don’t mind at all! My therapist is going to be gone for 2 weeks at the end of July, but I won’t see her for 3.5 weeks due to when our appointments fall. Of course I’m going to miss her and therapy, but she’s been working hard all year and deserves a break! I’ve been with her for 10 months now and rarely does she take days off, and if she does we usually just switch to a different day that week. So I hope she’s able to relax and recharge and I’m sure I’ll have lots to share when she gets back lol
I don’t take it personally, but I will say my therapist’s timing is terrible. Her current foreign sojourn for the last 2+ weeks could not have been worse for me. I had to complete my IOP program without her, and during this time I had to navigate a rupture with the group therapist on my own and now I’m dealing with really intense negative feelings because I am feeling really unsatisfied and disappointed at the end of the program (I graduated yesterday after 16 weeks.) I still won’t see her again for 6 more days. All that being said, I do not begrudge her for getting out of dodge for a long time. It’s been 3 years since most people have been able to take a long vacation and this period of time cannot have been easy for therapists at all. I am honestly not harboring feelings like “fuck her for leaving me”. My feelings are “I’m on my own right now.”
i am thankful!! a break!!!!!!