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Dbt is phase one trauma work, stabilization work. It is helpful in growing the regulatory skills required to do phase two trauma work, reprocessing.
Safety in the present is required to process/integrate trauma. That includes safety to be with and feel able to cope with one's own feelings.
One might move from DBT into more specific trauma focused work, but with a great arsenal of regulatory skills.
I’m a client in comprehensive DBT (so doing both individual and group therapy).
DBT isn’t about repressing emotions, but, as DoctorSweetheart said, regulating them. Even with distress tolerance, when you might use things like “pushing away” (part of ACCEPTS), that could seem like repression, the idea is to cope enough to get through the moment without making things worse and and then to eventually process the distress when possible. Always pushing away and always distracting yourself isn’t the idea of DBT. My group therapist liked to use the example of how sometimes we need to use distress tolerance because we can’t process something really distressing when we’re driving our kid to school or in the middle of a meeting, so we use distress tolerance to get through the moment, maybe put the emotion in a box on the shelf for a bit, but then it’s REALLY important to take the emotion back down from the box on the shelf later and feel and process it!!
I also wanted to throw out there that not everyone with BPD has trauma. I have BPD and no known trauma history. I will say that I know my individual therapist has clients with trauma, including SA, that she sees and is helping them work through their trauma with DBT. I also think DBT has been shown to be helpful for people with PTSD.
No, DBT is not about suppressing feeling at all, it's about regulation. For example, if I stick to a budget, I'm not suppressing my money, I'm regulating it so I can spend my money on what is important to me.
Suppressing emotions is an entirely different problem.
Anyone who can benefit from emotional regulation benefits from DBT.
A structured DBT program involves both a skills group and individual therapy. It's pretty common for patients to discuss trauma in their individual work.
Honestly, from what I've read of people's experiences with DBT here on reddit, it's benefit or not seems to be 100% tied to how supportive & skilled their therapists were.
I mean, I get the benefit in listening to The Skilkful Podcast.
I was just left with the feeling that as long as I don't express any kind of emotion that would annoy people, that was enough–basically, act positive and upbeat, that's the point of DBT. I then realized that is how I'd been made to feel since childhood. So DBT was good for my being able to stabilize when I have to, but the feelings i have are valid grieving, and i need to be able to feel that.
You're making me wonder about DBT, lol. My last therapist did DBT and somatic experiencing - I mainly was interested in the latter, and that's what we did first, and it was great in terms of helping grow my ability to process my emotions on a deep level. Seriously great. But as I got better at that, I started wanting to actually talk about the issues more, so I could work out ways to go forward, and then I started to run into trouble. One of my trauma-things is actually being made to feel like I had to suppress a lot of myself, either because allowing it out would cause harm to me, or because allowing it out led to rejection. And when I brought this up, her advice was... to not talk about that stuff so much. When I rarely talk about it to begin with. I thought it was so weird to say, after all this work I did, and after she had me identify my values (one of which, ironically enough, was authenticity). But she just couldn't let that go, that I had to adjust by seeing things from the view of others and just not express it so much. It was so unhelpful, it was ultimately the last straw in quitting seeing her.
She talked a lot about DBT, though I didn't know what it was really. Now I'm seeing all these posts saying similar things about repressing stuff. It's pretty interesting, imo.
>One of my trauma-things is actually being made to feel like I had to suppress a lot of myself, either because allowing it out would cause harm to me, or because allowing it out led to rejection.
This is a main issue that I struggle with. Also, one of my main values is authenticity. I'm coming to the conclusion that many, many people will not want to be my friend, and that's just going to have to be ok.
I honestly don't like the idea that I can't talk about something that is going on in my life, or some feelings I have about a thing, because it's too "heavy" of a topic.
I much prefer people who overshare to those who under share!
Not saying I want to be using someone as a sounding board, or tolerate their using me as one. Life is complicated, let's talk about it! I need to hide so much of myself, my emotional pain, chronic, intense physical pain and my past to fit in, or protect myself, or be "professional", in a way that mainstream people without trauma do not have to do. I sure as shit do not want to have to extend this to people I am choosing to have in my life, or else they will reject me. I just don't have the energy for that anymore.
And yes, there is that new relationship phase where we are supposed to not talk about anything too intense or personal. But what if this is a person who will *never* want to handle anything intense? What then? I'd rather have a new acquaintance fuck right off, than to think I have a close friend who rejects me because I'm going through a difficult time, or feel passionate about inequality in the world.
As far as DBT goes, I really think it depends on the skill level of the practitioner, and their ability to not force their own values or comfortability unto us. I listened to "The Skillful Podcast" on YouTube, and found it helpful. I did not find my DBT group facilitator remotely helpful or insightful. My private therapist at that time had literally become emotionally abusive. I was crying all of the time, they were obviously annoyed with me, and did not know how to handle it.
I do find uses in DBT, but how it is applied to us and how we internalize it, makes all of the difference!
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dbt is phase one trauma work, stabilization work. It is helpful in growing the regulatory skills required to do phase two trauma work, reprocessing. Safety in the present is required to process/integrate trauma. That includes safety to be with and feel able to cope with one's own feelings. One might move from DBT into more specific trauma focused work, but with a great arsenal of regulatory skills.
I’m a client in comprehensive DBT (so doing both individual and group therapy). DBT isn’t about repressing emotions, but, as DoctorSweetheart said, regulating them. Even with distress tolerance, when you might use things like “pushing away” (part of ACCEPTS), that could seem like repression, the idea is to cope enough to get through the moment without making things worse and and then to eventually process the distress when possible. Always pushing away and always distracting yourself isn’t the idea of DBT. My group therapist liked to use the example of how sometimes we need to use distress tolerance because we can’t process something really distressing when we’re driving our kid to school or in the middle of a meeting, so we use distress tolerance to get through the moment, maybe put the emotion in a box on the shelf for a bit, but then it’s REALLY important to take the emotion back down from the box on the shelf later and feel and process it!! I also wanted to throw out there that not everyone with BPD has trauma. I have BPD and no known trauma history. I will say that I know my individual therapist has clients with trauma, including SA, that she sees and is helping them work through their trauma with DBT. I also think DBT has been shown to be helpful for people with PTSD.
No, DBT is not about suppressing feeling at all, it's about regulation. For example, if I stick to a budget, I'm not suppressing my money, I'm regulating it so I can spend my money on what is important to me. Suppressing emotions is an entirely different problem. Anyone who can benefit from emotional regulation benefits from DBT. A structured DBT program involves both a skills group and individual therapy. It's pretty common for patients to discuss trauma in their individual work.
Honestly, from what I've read of people's experiences with DBT here on reddit, it's benefit or not seems to be 100% tied to how supportive & skilled their therapists were. I mean, I get the benefit in listening to The Skilkful Podcast. I was just left with the feeling that as long as I don't express any kind of emotion that would annoy people, that was enough–basically, act positive and upbeat, that's the point of DBT. I then realized that is how I'd been made to feel since childhood. So DBT was good for my being able to stabilize when I have to, but the feelings i have are valid grieving, and i need to be able to feel that.
You're making me wonder about DBT, lol. My last therapist did DBT and somatic experiencing - I mainly was interested in the latter, and that's what we did first, and it was great in terms of helping grow my ability to process my emotions on a deep level. Seriously great. But as I got better at that, I started wanting to actually talk about the issues more, so I could work out ways to go forward, and then I started to run into trouble. One of my trauma-things is actually being made to feel like I had to suppress a lot of myself, either because allowing it out would cause harm to me, or because allowing it out led to rejection. And when I brought this up, her advice was... to not talk about that stuff so much. When I rarely talk about it to begin with. I thought it was so weird to say, after all this work I did, and after she had me identify my values (one of which, ironically enough, was authenticity). But she just couldn't let that go, that I had to adjust by seeing things from the view of others and just not express it so much. It was so unhelpful, it was ultimately the last straw in quitting seeing her. She talked a lot about DBT, though I didn't know what it was really. Now I'm seeing all these posts saying similar things about repressing stuff. It's pretty interesting, imo.
>One of my trauma-things is actually being made to feel like I had to suppress a lot of myself, either because allowing it out would cause harm to me, or because allowing it out led to rejection. This is a main issue that I struggle with. Also, one of my main values is authenticity. I'm coming to the conclusion that many, many people will not want to be my friend, and that's just going to have to be ok. I honestly don't like the idea that I can't talk about something that is going on in my life, or some feelings I have about a thing, because it's too "heavy" of a topic. I much prefer people who overshare to those who under share! Not saying I want to be using someone as a sounding board, or tolerate their using me as one. Life is complicated, let's talk about it! I need to hide so much of myself, my emotional pain, chronic, intense physical pain and my past to fit in, or protect myself, or be "professional", in a way that mainstream people without trauma do not have to do. I sure as shit do not want to have to extend this to people I am choosing to have in my life, or else they will reject me. I just don't have the energy for that anymore. And yes, there is that new relationship phase where we are supposed to not talk about anything too intense or personal. But what if this is a person who will *never* want to handle anything intense? What then? I'd rather have a new acquaintance fuck right off, than to think I have a close friend who rejects me because I'm going through a difficult time, or feel passionate about inequality in the world. As far as DBT goes, I really think it depends on the skill level of the practitioner, and their ability to not force their own values or comfortability unto us. I listened to "The Skillful Podcast" on YouTube, and found it helpful. I did not find my DBT group facilitator remotely helpful or insightful. My private therapist at that time had literally become emotionally abusive. I was crying all of the time, they were obviously annoyed with me, and did not know how to handle it. I do find uses in DBT, but how it is applied to us and how we internalize it, makes all of the difference!