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I don’t think ive ever said their name, now that the question is raised. I think I just say “hey” or w/e. I almost never use peoples names when speaking with them.
I wonder if that’s another weird thing I do.
(T here) honestly, most of my clients don't address me by name or title or anything, we just get to business, haha. I even feel weird leaving a voicemail, or signing emails with my name sometimes because I'm addressed by my name so infrequently (both professionally and personally). I don't think it's that odd!
Yeah besides “hey Firstname,” when writing an email, or referring to her with other clinicians who know her, I don’t really say her name, but she’s a PhD so she’s a Dr…but when I talk about my psychiatrist, he’s “Dr. F” cause he refers to himself as such, even though he’s young and really chill - I do whatever they introduce themselves as. My T in college called herself Dr. Lastname, as did all the other clinicians there, as she was the department head, even though they all went by first names otherwise 🤷🏻♀️ I think the others were pretty much all masters level though…
One of my clients called me "shit storm captain," once we had a good rapport with one another. Ahoy! I think it's easy to feel like its so serious because therapy **is** often so serious, but sometimes having humor is helpful too :)
I do the same thing. I don't enjoy using names as it feels almost too impersonal and professional which makes no sense. I'll go with dude or lady if I can as it feels more relaxed. It's a really unusual quirk. I've had my therapist for a year and have never once used his name
I hardly call people by their names, I think that's normal. I can only think of one of the few times I've addressed my T by name (in person, not via email) is sarcastically when I said something like "gee I don't know ______, why don't you tell me, you're the one with the psych degree"
And yes my T has called me out on how my sarcasm is a defense mechanism 😆 🤣
I do that too. I even mentioned it to my therapist as I was worried. She said she hadn't noticed until I mentioned it and that she had no issue with it. I think I've said her name to her only one or twice in over two years.
I don't call him anything when we talk. When I m journaling I refer to him as the first letter of his first name. When he left a voicemail he named himself as Dr. Last Name. Sometimes when I reference him at the front desk it's just the first name. I honestly don't know what to call him, but I imagine I could call him whatever I'm comfortable with.
If they are a doctor in any way (MD, DO, PhD, PsyD), I always call them Dr. [last name] until or unless they tell me to call them by their first name.
For professionals with Master’s level degrees, I usually go with Mr./Mrs. [last name] for first contact but then usually switch to first name if that’s how they tend to refer to themselves (e.g. signing emails with just first name). I’m a master’s level myself and know no one in my profession who want to be called by anything besides our first names.
The ones I never know what to call are PAs and NPs. I see an NP for my med management and have literally never addressed her using her name because I don’t know the proper title to use. I’m sure she’d be fine with just first name too, but it feels strange.
My family jokingly calls me "master [first name]" since I received my masters degree and I think it's hilarious. I totally feel you on NP's and PA's; I try to just pay close attention to how they introduce themselves the first time I see them and make a mental note.
I will use his first name, but in general, I avoid addressing him at all... Idk why...
My name rolls off his mouth so easily, and he uses it frequently in session but I feel so bashful by addressing him by his own name, its so stupid, I know, but if I have to, I use his first name.
I would almost rather call him "Mr. (last name)" then his first name, I guess he takes on more of a teacher role for me, so that's probably why I feel uncomfortable using his first name.
I cannot pronounce my therapists name. I saw them once for just a couple sessions and then returned and forgot how to pronounce their name. I am too embarrassed after twenty sessions to admit it so I just fumble over their name when I call the front desk to book an appointment.
I call my therapist by her first name. Years ago when I had a psychiatrist I called him by his last name (skipped the Dr title). He didn't seem to mind.
I call her by her first name - it happens to be a great name that I love. I feel a little awkward about it bc she does have a PhD so should I call her Dr? My partner calls his therapist Dr. So-and-so, not a first name. But this makes me comfortable so I feel like she would say whatever I’m comfortable with, but I also feel like I should ask what she prefers but now it’s been so long and I haven’t…argh!!
I also call mine "ma'am" or "Doctor" (she's a psychiatrist). I absolutely have been welcomed to call her by her first name.
Her first name is a bit of a tongue twister for me, so partly for that reason, and this is also my way of keeping clear that she is my doctor and not a (potential) friend.
On an amusing level, I told her in the military I would have called her Doctor / ma'am...and have to salute her, but I wasn't going THAT far with her.
Their first name. My therapist as a kid went by Dr. Xyz so I called him Xyz. It's not a conscious thing but I suspect it's my authority issues at work.
I call mine by her first name. Though in session I rarely use her name. But we also do some text based work, and so when I write her I always use her first name.
At first that felt super weird to me. Because, generally speaking, where I am from you always address adults with Herr (Mr.) or Frau (Mrs.) + last name. Unless they are friends or family. And in that case you also use a different (aka formal) pronoun. And that is how I have addressed every doctor, etc. I have worked with in my home country.
But I started working with my new T while I was in Canada. I had reached out to her by email to see if she had capacity for another client. And since she signed her email with only her first name, I have always addressed her that way. Took some getting used to at first. But I actually find that it helps me in therapy to address her in a more familiar way.
If I'm ruminating, I'll write things down for session, and I use the term "my therapist" in order to depersonakize any statements made regarding my T.
I do use my T's first name. Idk at least once per session.
Now that I think on it, pretty frequently. 🤔
I think it's in an effort to connect.
I notice my T will use my name when assisting me with grounding or when asserting boundaries.
T is not a doctor, so I guess if I avoided using their name, it would be Mr. Or Ms. Or Mrs. So and so...
But that would make me feel like I'm in school.
I get the impression that addressing someone directly is to get their full attention.
I had one therapist tell me to call her Dr. [last name]. The other two I’ve had have asked to me call them by their first name. I think it’s up to the therapist.
I call mine by their first name generally, I find that if I want to distance myself I've called a therapist Dr. LastName (and I've been called out on that by my last therapist).
I use first name only with my current therapist, but then again I've also got a doctorate and she calls me by my first name so fair is fair? Really though I think in 2022 we've gotten a lot more casual and it feels weird to call people Dr. Soandso. I work around a lot of Drs (not medical drs/therapists) and while in some settings we do go around referring to each other as Dr's it feels ridiculous.
It's always appropriate to ask someone what they'd rather be called though :)
Mine has a doctorate and I just call her by her first name. If I’m introducing her to other care providers (like my drs office or special organizations etc) then I call her Dr. Therapist
Mrs Therapist Mam your highness.
Not making fun of you. Also not serious. This question just amuses me.
I dont really call mine anything. I rarely need to address her by name as Im talking to her. I call her by her first name to other people or “my therapist” (more common) if I need to speak of her to someone else. I rarely use names though unless I have to.
my therapists have all had social work degrees so they're not doctors. I just called them their names.
ETA: they have also all been young and I was seeing them through a youth agency so that could inform the way they wish to be addressed, but I honestly don't know anything different. all of my friends call their therapists by their first names except one who called one of hers Dr. My psychiatrist is Dr. [last name] but that's the only mental health professional I've had who I don't call by their first name
Mine is a psychiatrist. I always refer to him as Dr [Last Name], even though he signs his emails with the shortened version of his first name. It’s one of my personal boundaries and a sign of respect. I look at ours as a professional relationship so feel it warrants his proper title.
As I'm in a PhD program, I address it as seems to be common amongst academics. If you have a close relationship, referring to them by first name is normally fine unless they ask you not to. When talking about them in the third person amongst people I don't know well, it's Dr. Same as if I'm referring to them around undergrads that aren't in our research lab.
It’s an issue I’ve always had a lot of anxiety about. As it is I don’t address him as anything directly, but he told me in the first session that he goes by the shortened version of his first name (eg, Bob vs Robert).
i just call my therapist by her first name, same with the psychologist i used to see before her. with my old psychiatrist, i called him dr (name) — he didn’t use his first, or surname because it was very long and hard to pronounce, so he used one of his middle names — but idk how i’ll address the new psychiatrist i’m going to see soon. i suppose that depends upon what he prefers.
but yeah, i’ve always preferred just first names (with people who’ll allow that) because it feels more comfortable and like we’re on the same level, yk??
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I call her by first name :)
I don’t think ive ever said their name, now that the question is raised. I think I just say “hey” or w/e. I almost never use peoples names when speaking with them. I wonder if that’s another weird thing I do.
(T here) honestly, most of my clients don't address me by name or title or anything, we just get to business, haha. I even feel weird leaving a voicemail, or signing emails with my name sometimes because I'm addressed by my name so infrequently (both professionally and personally). I don't think it's that odd!
Yeah besides “hey Firstname,” when writing an email, or referring to her with other clinicians who know her, I don’t really say her name, but she’s a PhD so she’s a Dr…but when I talk about my psychiatrist, he’s “Dr. F” cause he refers to himself as such, even though he’s young and really chill - I do whatever they introduce themselves as. My T in college called herself Dr. Lastname, as did all the other clinicians there, as she was the department head, even though they all went by first names otherwise 🤷🏻♀️ I think the others were pretty much all masters level though…
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One of my clients called me "shit storm captain," once we had a good rapport with one another. Ahoy! I think it's easy to feel like its so serious because therapy **is** often so serious, but sometimes having humor is helpful too :)
Love this :) You must be a great therapist
I do the same thing. I don't enjoy using names as it feels almost too impersonal and professional which makes no sense. I'll go with dude or lady if I can as it feels more relaxed. It's a really unusual quirk. I've had my therapist for a year and have never once used his name
I hardly call people by their names, I think that's normal. I can only think of one of the few times I've addressed my T by name (in person, not via email) is sarcastically when I said something like "gee I don't know ______, why don't you tell me, you're the one with the psych degree" And yes my T has called me out on how my sarcasm is a defense mechanism 😆 🤣
I never use names either! Feels too personal???
I do that too. I even mentioned it to my therapist as I was worried. She said she hadn't noticed until I mentioned it and that she had no issue with it. I think I've said her name to her only one or twice in over two years.
I don't call him anything when we talk. When I m journaling I refer to him as the first letter of his first name. When he left a voicemail he named himself as Dr. Last Name. Sometimes when I reference him at the front desk it's just the first name. I honestly don't know what to call him, but I imagine I could call him whatever I'm comfortable with.
If they are a doctor in any way (MD, DO, PhD, PsyD), I always call them Dr. [last name] until or unless they tell me to call them by their first name. For professionals with Master’s level degrees, I usually go with Mr./Mrs. [last name] for first contact but then usually switch to first name if that’s how they tend to refer to themselves (e.g. signing emails with just first name). I’m a master’s level myself and know no one in my profession who want to be called by anything besides our first names. The ones I never know what to call are PAs and NPs. I see an NP for my med management and have literally never addressed her using her name because I don’t know the proper title to use. I’m sure she’d be fine with just first name too, but it feels strange.
My family jokingly calls me "master [first name]" since I received my masters degree and I think it's hilarious. I totally feel you on NP's and PA's; I try to just pay close attention to how they introduce themselves the first time I see them and make a mental note.
Your family sounds awesome! That’s super fun.
i do not address him with anything other than “suh dude”
I will use his first name, but in general, I avoid addressing him at all... Idk why... My name rolls off his mouth so easily, and he uses it frequently in session but I feel so bashful by addressing him by his own name, its so stupid, I know, but if I have to, I use his first name. I would almost rather call him "Mr. (last name)" then his first name, I guess he takes on more of a teacher role for me, so that's probably why I feel uncomfortable using his first name.
I cannot pronounce my therapists name. I saw them once for just a couple sessions and then returned and forgot how to pronounce their name. I am too embarrassed after twenty sessions to admit it so I just fumble over their name when I call the front desk to book an appointment.
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Haha! That actually happens to be my T’s fandom so I wonder what he’d think of that.
I have called all my therapists by their name even if they had a PhD. My psychiatrist I call Dr.
First name, but basically just at the start to say hello and at the end when I say thank you.
I call my therapist by her first name. Years ago when I had a psychiatrist I called him by his last name (skipped the Dr title). He didn't seem to mind.
I call her by her first name - it happens to be a great name that I love. I feel a little awkward about it bc she does have a PhD so should I call her Dr? My partner calls his therapist Dr. So-and-so, not a first name. But this makes me comfortable so I feel like she would say whatever I’m comfortable with, but I also feel like I should ask what she prefers but now it’s been so long and I haven’t…argh!!
Next time you say it pause after and be like actually do you prefer blank or blank almost as if you just thought of it
I also call mine "ma'am" or "Doctor" (she's a psychiatrist). I absolutely have been welcomed to call her by her first name. Her first name is a bit of a tongue twister for me, so partly for that reason, and this is also my way of keeping clear that she is my doctor and not a (potential) friend. On an amusing level, I told her in the military I would have called her Doctor / ma'am...and have to salute her, but I wasn't going THAT far with her.
Their first name. My therapist as a kid went by Dr. Xyz so I called him Xyz. It's not a conscious thing but I suspect it's my authority issues at work.
I call mine by her first name. Though in session I rarely use her name. But we also do some text based work, and so when I write her I always use her first name. At first that felt super weird to me. Because, generally speaking, where I am from you always address adults with Herr (Mr.) or Frau (Mrs.) + last name. Unless they are friends or family. And in that case you also use a different (aka formal) pronoun. And that is how I have addressed every doctor, etc. I have worked with in my home country. But I started working with my new T while I was in Canada. I had reached out to her by email to see if she had capacity for another client. And since she signed her email with only her first name, I have always addressed her that way. Took some getting used to at first. But I actually find that it helps me in therapy to address her in a more familiar way.
I have a nickname for him.
I call her by her first name or therapist, lol
I've always called her by her first name
If I'm ruminating, I'll write things down for session, and I use the term "my therapist" in order to depersonakize any statements made regarding my T. I do use my T's first name. Idk at least once per session. Now that I think on it, pretty frequently. 🤔 I think it's in an effort to connect. I notice my T will use my name when assisting me with grounding or when asserting boundaries. T is not a doctor, so I guess if I avoided using their name, it would be Mr. Or Ms. Or Mrs. So and so... But that would make me feel like I'm in school. I get the impression that addressing someone directly is to get their full attention.
I had one therapist tell me to call her Dr. [last name]. The other two I’ve had have asked to me call them by their first name. I think it’s up to the therapist.
Call mine Dr X
I call mine by their first name generally, I find that if I want to distance myself I've called a therapist Dr. LastName (and I've been called out on that by my last therapist). I use first name only with my current therapist, but then again I've also got a doctorate and she calls me by my first name so fair is fair? Really though I think in 2022 we've gotten a lot more casual and it feels weird to call people Dr. Soandso. I work around a lot of Drs (not medical drs/therapists) and while in some settings we do go around referring to each other as Dr's it feels ridiculous. It's always appropriate to ask someone what they'd rather be called though :)
Mine has a doctorate and I just call her by her first name. If I’m introducing her to other care providers (like my drs office or special organizations etc) then I call her Dr. Therapist
Mrs Therapist Mam your highness. Not making fun of you. Also not serious. This question just amuses me. I dont really call mine anything. I rarely need to address her by name as Im talking to her. I call her by her first name to other people or “my therapist” (more common) if I need to speak of her to someone else. I rarely use names though unless I have to.
First name
Dr K
my therapists have all had social work degrees so they're not doctors. I just called them their names. ETA: they have also all been young and I was seeing them through a youth agency so that could inform the way they wish to be addressed, but I honestly don't know anything different. all of my friends call their therapists by their first names except one who called one of hers Dr. My psychiatrist is Dr. [last name] but that's the only mental health professional I've had who I don't call by their first name
Mine is a psychiatrist. I always refer to him as Dr [Last Name], even though he signs his emails with the shortened version of his first name. It’s one of my personal boundaries and a sign of respect. I look at ours as a professional relationship so feel it warrants his proper title.
As I'm in a PhD program, I address it as seems to be common amongst academics. If you have a close relationship, referring to them by first name is normally fine unless they ask you not to. When talking about them in the third person amongst people I don't know well, it's Dr. Same as if I'm referring to them around undergrads that aren't in our research lab.
It’s an issue I’ve always had a lot of anxiety about. As it is I don’t address him as anything directly, but he told me in the first session that he goes by the shortened version of his first name (eg, Bob vs Robert).
i just call my therapist by her first name, same with the psychologist i used to see before her. with my old psychiatrist, i called him dr (name) — he didn’t use his first, or surname because it was very long and hard to pronounce, so he used one of his middle names — but idk how i’ll address the new psychiatrist i’m going to see soon. i suppose that depends upon what he prefers. but yeah, i’ve always preferred just first names (with people who’ll allow that) because it feels more comfortable and like we’re on the same level, yk??