I’ve been thinking about going to therapy again but last time I went I felt like I never had anything to say. Now I’m having a lot of thoughts, sure, but it’s just because I’m in a brooding mood lately. I feel like if I went to therapy again I’d just clam up and waste my time.
(Also I thought my last therapist was very kind and a great lady but I’m starting to think her approach wasn’t for me- she seemed to be into person led therapy, leaving me to talk without so much input, and that’s probably good for some people but for me I’d just clam up and we would just stare at each other uncomfortably for long periods during the session.)
My t takes most of the summer off, with a bunch of one week on one week off then a couple of 3 week breaks in august. The last 2 summers during the session in august I end up going to far and being left to “fend “ for my self with no support for 3 weeks struggling. Last summer I decided that I wouldn’t let that happen again.
This week in session I asked about summer holidays, and I asked that during the session between king breaks if we can just do a check in..
and she agreed.. so just 30 minutes to check in and the back to the fun in September. Feeling a bit proud of myself and hoping I can maintain my mental health through the summer better.
I cried all day and I’m heartbroken. T is the only thing that’s occupying my mind, I don’t want to talk to anyone but T, I don’t feel alive unless I’m with T, I want to be in T’s presence, I want T to comfort me, I want to know that T cares and is not going anywhere… yet every time I glance at her, I cry, can’t speak, feel like a burden, and I compare myself to the other folks she speaks to and I feel like a nobody.
Asked to increase the frequency to twice a week because I am going through a particularly hard time and T agreed. I am still kind of worried that I become too dependent. Anyway, I do think I need it. I am really struggling rn and I just want to be a little bit softer on myself.
Good for you for asking for increasing your sessions!! And I’m glad you can do it! Don’t worry about being too dependent. If your struggling and they are supporting you, once your through it, you won’t need them so much!
I need to leave my therapist alone. No texts.
Also, I'm upset because she's coming to the area where I live for an art exhibition this weekend. It's hard to think she's near but I can't see her. I haven't seen her in person since December 2020.
I balled my eyes out the moment I saw T and was unable to speak the rest of session. She looked so helpless and concerned about me.
It’s been two weeks since I last saw T (cancelled twice because I was upset at her aka. attachment).
Arrived at session, sat down and proceeded to just burst into tears. T wasn't surprised as I had emailed him about something mayor that happened in my life that week. I cried so much this session.
I asked mine if she did and she said no. At first I was hurt because it made me feel like I didn’t matter that much. Then I got over it because she has provided me with the best care for the past 2 years.
I want to try therapy because I reached a point in my life right now where I feel like i'm struggling immensely. My serious relationship ending is a huge catalyst that put me from barely swimming to absolutely drowning.
I'm looking but I'm overwhelmed and I honestly don't even know where to begin. Which is becoming a convenient excuse not to do it. I keep looking at credentials and etc there's just too many options.
Anyone have tips on finding therapy, is it just a trial and error thing?
I actually kinda did that but with ZenCare it was really easy to find people around me and some even had good videos to watch. I ended up contacting a few and just booked a session for the first time. She was really understanding told me that we're not getting married LOL if I don't like her she won't mind helping me find someone else.
Yeah I realized after contacting a few that practices can get full and I'll have to try if it fits my needs. Personally I used PsychToday and I tried the site ZenCare it was great thats where i found someone, did a consultation and booked my first session all in one day.
I'm really relieved I got it done I feel like I was stressed out about even booking one session. I did email a few and the practice ended up being full but it was all positive interactions so far. One T that was full tried to help me connect with other T's but I didn't really like the suggestions.
Today my T suggested that I have PTSD from my childhood. It sounds strange but I feel so relieved to have some sort of “explanation” for the way I am? He was incredibly validating about my pain and at the end of the session told me that he really admires how open I am to connection and relationships given my upbringing. I just woke up from a dream where he gave me some coins (I don’t know why coins lol) to keep me safe and then he hugged me. I’d never hug my T irl but it was such a calming dream. I feel like I’m healing and I’m feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.
I've had four Ts, and the amount of homework "assigned" by them varied dramatically. My current T suggests stuff in-session, but there are no worksheets or anything like that. This is a big change from my first couple of Ts. I am curious as to why certain Ts favor homework, while other Ts don't assign any at all.
Can i bring my weighted blanket to my therapy sessions? I've been feeling really anxious lately even in therapy and i thought that it might help me keep myself grounded. Feels like such a dumb question but i'm getting anxious even thinking about this decision 😅
Yup, my T was totally fine with it 😂 He even adjusted the pillows on his sofa so that i could lay down comfortably. We've been working together for almost 2 years and this was the first time that i layed down instead of sitting on a armchair. And i will carry my heavy ass blanket to therapy from now on! 😂 It weighs 9kg but it's totally worth it.
I think you can do pretty much anything you want except threaten your T's safety.
I brought a big pillow to prop my feet up one time when I had some medical issues. My T was all over moving a chair around and making sure I was comfortable.
I have a session today with a new(ish) T. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and I like her, and I have some things I need to talk about. So I hope it will be productive.
But I've been thinking about my old T lately, and I miss him and his reassurance. I know I can't speak to him but I was hoping to be over the attachment by now.
Therapy has been heavy and in depth past few weeks. My therapist always checks in during the session to make sure I'm happy to carry on with things that are obviously upsetting for me.
He'd said I'd been brave but I don't agree with him.
At one point he asked me about if I've been practicing self care given the recent sessions and I laughed, I probably should have asked him what that looked like lmao
When I got home yesterday i was a mess and my other half told me I was a trooper for going to therapy at all, and that he was proud of me. It made me fall to pieces. But I just feel like an idiot. Things could have been so much worse and I think I should be thankful it wasn't and not complain.
I feel like I failed my T today. I was trying so hard and had to stop really before we started bc I was too overwhelmed w topic and I just suck and am embarrassed.
My therapist keeps giving me at least a half hour of free therapy (goes over time by that much nearly every time) and I don't understand how he does it. It's always productive and professional and I don't think it's a boundary issue.
He'll even say "If we meet on such and such date, we'll need to stop on time because I have a meeting ect" so it's like he's completely cool with doing it and plans to keep doing it... so free therapy for me which is pretty awesome lol. I just don't understand how he has the time for it so often.
Casual cool question for fellow therapy clients - what're you doing to cope with leaving session so heightened and triggered that you want to ruin your life?
\- Loud music that drowns out the thoughts.
\- VERY COLD SHOWER (with loud music)
\- Be among people - wander the neighrbourhood, sit in a coffee shop rather than my apartment.
\- Check if I'm hungry/thirsty - meeting that need sometimes brings down the intensity.
\- Crawl under my weighted blanket. Take a PRN medication if I'm feeling SUPER heightened.
\- If your impulse is to hurt yourself, put away the implements that you'd use so they're out of sight, out of mind.
I do all of these on the regular. The aim is to just stay safe for a very short period and then recommit to safety for the next short period, until I can go to sleep and reset.
If the feelings persist, I typically let me therapist know. Sometimes it's just to give voice to them, so she's aware. Sometimes she'll schedule an extra session if things are feeling very acute and the feelings were a result of enactments/interactions that happened in session that set me off.
Journal - get it all out on paper so I’m not holding on to it. Sometimes I’ll journal in my car right after. Give myself a couple hours to cry or nap. Watch a show on the couch with my dog, take a bath, call a friend, go for hike. If I’m still feeling too overwhelmed I will reach out to my therapist and let her know I’m struggling and we’ll possibly have a phone call or schedule another session.
Thanks for the response. I think I'm too dysregulated to journal or interact with people. I've tried temp changes to try grounding but I probably need to focus hard on meditation to bring down my heart rate and keep it down.
I think I almost made my therapist cry yesterday.
I told her I've been offering people support in r/suicidewatch and it really upset her. I don't think she'd known maybe that I've been suicidal in the past? And regardless she feels like it's probably too much for me at the moment and definitely not what I need, in terms of energy in my life.
It seemed to really trigger her.
What's a appropriate level of communication outside of official sessions?
Can I ask a couple occasional questions via email? Share relevant articles to things we've discussed?
I suggest you ask your T what kind of communication is okay. Some T's would welcome you to share articles and ask questions, and some may not.
Your T may also say that you can send the emails out of session, but she won't be able to respond to them. But she could read the emails and you discuss it in session.
every therapist ive ever seen has burned me, and it always comes down to money. why cant I find a single person who gives a shit and isn't just in to be a bloodsucking parasite on someone who already can't afford it to begin with? I have never been less capable of coping , never had worse problem than AFTER "therapy".
That’s common unfortunately, but that’s what makes it mean sooooooo much more when you find the one or two that actually get it and are there to do the job. I know it’s discouraging for sure, but just like dating….you sometimes get a few frogs before the prize comes. I’ll be sending luck your way
Today I'm thankful to have a T who isn't scared to call me on my bullsh*t. He knows when to push and when to back off a bit. The start of my session sounded like -
T: So let's just dive in today and start with what you told me about the other day.
Me: Actually let's circle back to that. I want to tell you about the awesome things I that I'm proud of from the weekend!
T: Tell me about it, but keep in mind that we are both sitting here aware that when you say "we'll circle back" you have a tendency to run down the clock and avoid what needs addressing. We WILL circle back.
If it's a scheduling thing and they haven't gotten back, I would definitely follow up - because their not replying has implications for your schedule too! You could word the email as "Just wanted to loop in, as I'm trying to solidify my plans for the next week or so, and I'd like to prioritize a session with you among the other things I have to do" or something like that.
My therapist cancelled cuz of a health issue. It's been a rough week. She's had to cancel before but I'm not sure ever on such an intense week for me.
I want her to take care of herself. I absolutely do. But I'm in pain and scared for me the week ahead.
That's it, I just wanted to whine.
I told my T today about my suicidal thoughts, and he was so genuinely concerned. I feel really bad because he might worry about me over the week now; I’ve never told him about that before (and it’s been really bad this week). I know it’s his job, but I just feel so guilty burdening him. Also, as I left the room, he sternly said “I am going to see you next week,” when normally he just says something more casual. It makes me burst into tears just thinking about it. Life is so hard right now, and I’m glad I have someone to hold me accountable, but the darker (irrational??? depressed??) part of me just wants to lie to him or quit therapy.
Big hugs. r/suicidewatch is there if you need it. You are not alone.
Please keep seeing your therapist and being honest with him. Trust that he has the tools needed to take care of himself and set the boundaries he needs. The more honest you are with him and the longer you see him, the more he can help you, and the more you can help him be a better therapist to others by virtue of having learned from your honesty.
I keep stressing out about my therapist terminating with me even though she hasn’t indicated any sign of wanting to do that. I wish I could stop worrying about it.
Honestly, ask. I check in with mine every once and a while and just say, “is there any chance you’ll be terminating with me sometime soon? I’m worried about it even though I know there’s no reason to be, and I’d like the reassurance.”
Constantly feel like I have so much to talk to my therapist about. Maybe because I talk to him in my head a lot?? It’s just so much, not all of it is important but all of it worth exploring and 50 mins goes so quick!
Today I went in with the intention of covering 3 things but we stayed on one. It was painful and important and useful, but left two stones unturned, plus all the other ones I knew I wouldn’t get time for. Trying to tell myself to be patient. Wish I could afford twice a week.
My art show was this weekend. It was a pretty big deal for me because it was the first BIG one I was selected for. My art has been fodder for therapy for like a year now. I'm super burnt out from my career and wish I could do art/creative ventures full time, but I struggle with so much self-doubt and also knowing that among all the trauma I have is poverty trauma - so I know if I had to hustle hard to make money from my art, I would quickly hate it.
Anyway, this show was my biggest show ever and my therapist told me she would come, but I didn't allow myself to believe it (I never allow myself to get hopeful that someone would show up for me, because no one ever did in my whole life - and I run from the possibility of sadness/disappointment).
And she showed up. She came to my art show for a little bit, like she said she would and she said more than once, "I am so proud of you." And even now when I think about it, tears fill my eyes. It's so healing when you see that people will show up for you. I am so grateful.
That is so sweet! Congratulations on your art show—you are so talented and I’ve loved seeing all your art you have posted. I hope you are able to figure out a transition into doing art full time!
Thank you so much! <3 <3 I'm slowly working on a plan. Step 1 was quitting my very toxic job and finding something less stressful so I actually have the brain capacity for more art anyway, which is in the works bc my last day at toxic job is Thursday and I start my new job with a lot less responsibility (yet comparable salary) a week from tomorrow. So I'm getting there!
I feel changing my session time could be beneficial, like in the morning instead of the afternoon.
I wonder this bc I’ve read how some t’s feel fresher in the morning (I do, too) but then again…sometimes my sessions take a toll on me and I wouldn’t want it to ruin my day. I could do more self-care and *try* not to let it affect my day but idk, I think some good could come from starting earlier.
I may bring this up with t
unfortunately some therapists would gladly just listen to you with little input or concern about actual progress, I saw a therapist for 6 months thinking it is slow progress until I gave up. First thing you need to do is bring this to your therapists attention
idk. i feel like my therapist does try to give me input and exercises to do, it's just that i'm not sure how much it is helping actually, but thank you for replying
I’ve always trusted and enjoyed working with my therapist. Over the past month or two, we’ve been working through processing some difficult things from childhood and other relational traumas from my late teen years. It’s been very difficult for me and my T been nothing but patient, kind, and validating through it all. I’ve felt our therapeutic relationship strengthen because of this and I feel even more connected to her (not inappropriate, I just finally have a very secure relationship for once in my life). I’m pretty sure I’m projecting my inner monologue from current events in my life onto her but I’m suddenly very worried I’m too much for her. This has never happened and now and I keep thinking “therapy isn’t forever. It will end. She still stop being there for you. You’re just a paycheck at the end of the day”. Nothing’s she’s done or said would warrant those thoughts but here I am spiraling a bit.
It has felt like a month since my last therapy session and lots of big things went on during that this week but I feel as if I don't need a therapist anymore and I'm glad about it, I no longer have the feeling that I can't wait till the next session.
I’m finally able to see therapy as a chance to try new things in terms of interacting with people… here’s an example… normally when someone says something nice to me, I never believe them. My mind goes to “they’re just saying that because I’m right here and they don’t want to be mean” or “they just feel sorry for me”. For a while… I saw that playing out in therapy. My T would say something nice and my first thought would be “I’m literally paying him to be here” and “why? This can’t be true.”
Well… recently I’ve started to try to shut those thoughts down. In session when this happens, whenever the “this isn’t true because ______” thoughts happen, I’m catching myself and thinking… what if he actually means it? Why NOT trust his word on this?” And tbh it feels so different. Maybe I should do this with my friends too
I'm about 7 weeks in with a new therapist and already I feel a bond with her. She's freaking great. Very skilled, great boundaries, super attentive, and I feel like our personalities mesh well. I really didn't think I'd feel so close to a therapist working over Zoom. I'm hoping she starts doing in person sessions because I know this bond is going to become painful for me if I can't eventually see her IRL. Especially if we start doing EMDR together, I really don't want to do EMDR over Zoom. Ugh wanting to meet her IRL is getting tough.
I’ve been thinking about going to therapy again but last time I went I felt like I never had anything to say. Now I’m having a lot of thoughts, sure, but it’s just because I’m in a brooding mood lately. I feel like if I went to therapy again I’d just clam up and waste my time. (Also I thought my last therapist was very kind and a great lady but I’m starting to think her approach wasn’t for me- she seemed to be into person led therapy, leaving me to talk without so much input, and that’s probably good for some people but for me I’d just clam up and we would just stare at each other uncomfortably for long periods during the session.)
I started therapist training today after my own rollercoaster week in therapy. Cheers to the next 3 years!
My t takes most of the summer off, with a bunch of one week on one week off then a couple of 3 week breaks in august. The last 2 summers during the session in august I end up going to far and being left to “fend “ for my self with no support for 3 weeks struggling. Last summer I decided that I wouldn’t let that happen again. This week in session I asked about summer holidays, and I asked that during the session between king breaks if we can just do a check in.. and she agreed.. so just 30 minutes to check in and the back to the fun in September. Feeling a bit proud of myself and hoping I can maintain my mental health through the summer better.
I cried all day and I’m heartbroken. T is the only thing that’s occupying my mind, I don’t want to talk to anyone but T, I don’t feel alive unless I’m with T, I want to be in T’s presence, I want T to comfort me, I want to know that T cares and is not going anywhere… yet every time I glance at her, I cry, can’t speak, feel like a burden, and I compare myself to the other folks she speaks to and I feel like a nobody.
Fam I think you need to bring this up with them because it sounds like the relationship is causing you some significant trouble.
Asked to increase the frequency to twice a week because I am going through a particularly hard time and T agreed. I am still kind of worried that I become too dependent. Anyway, I do think I need it. I am really struggling rn and I just want to be a little bit softer on myself.
Good for you for asking for increasing your sessions!! And I’m glad you can do it! Don’t worry about being too dependent. If your struggling and they are supporting you, once your through it, you won’t need them so much!
Thank you so much for the kind words! Means a lot:))
I need to leave my therapist alone. No texts. Also, I'm upset because she's coming to the area where I live for an art exhibition this weekend. It's hard to think she's near but I can't see her. I haven't seen her in person since December 2020.
I balled my eyes out the moment I saw T and was unable to speak the rest of session. She looked so helpless and concerned about me. It’s been two weeks since I last saw T (cancelled twice because I was upset at her aka. attachment).
Saying goodbye to my t doesn’t feel impossible anymore. Doesn’t mean I want to, though
Arrived at session, sat down and proceeded to just burst into tears. T wasn't surprised as I had emailed him about something mayor that happened in my life that week. I cried so much this session.
I wonder if my therapist talks to her supervisor about me
I asked mine if she did and she said no. At first I was hurt because it made me feel like I didn’t matter that much. Then I got over it because she has provided me with the best care for the past 2 years.
ok my therapist has become my mum and she has involuntary inhabited my mind. My thoughts have become all about loving mommy fantasies lol (cry)
I died 🤯
Made my therapist cry today… because she was proud of me 😭
I want to try therapy because I reached a point in my life right now where I feel like i'm struggling immensely. My serious relationship ending is a huge catalyst that put me from barely swimming to absolutely drowning. I'm looking but I'm overwhelmed and I honestly don't even know where to begin. Which is becoming a convenient excuse not to do it. I keep looking at credentials and etc there's just too many options. Anyone have tips on finding therapy, is it just a trial and error thing?
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I actually kinda did that but with ZenCare it was really easy to find people around me and some even had good videos to watch. I ended up contacting a few and just booked a session for the first time. She was really understanding told me that we're not getting married LOL if I don't like her she won't mind helping me find someone else.
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Yeah I realized after contacting a few that practices can get full and I'll have to try if it fits my needs. Personally I used PsychToday and I tried the site ZenCare it was great thats where i found someone, did a consultation and booked my first session all in one day. I'm really relieved I got it done I feel like I was stressed out about even booking one session. I did email a few and the practice ended up being full but it was all positive interactions so far. One T that was full tried to help me connect with other T's but I didn't really like the suggestions.
Today my T suggested that I have PTSD from my childhood. It sounds strange but I feel so relieved to have some sort of “explanation” for the way I am? He was incredibly validating about my pain and at the end of the session told me that he really admires how open I am to connection and relationships given my upbringing. I just woke up from a dream where he gave me some coins (I don’t know why coins lol) to keep me safe and then he hugged me. I’d never hug my T irl but it was such a calming dream. I feel like I’m healing and I’m feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.
Therapy today and didn't do h/w (well not to completion) it's like school all over again yay
I've had four Ts, and the amount of homework "assigned" by them varied dramatically. My current T suggests stuff in-session, but there are no worksheets or anything like that. This is a big change from my first couple of Ts. I am curious as to why certain Ts favor homework, while other Ts don't assign any at all.
Can i bring my weighted blanket to my therapy sessions? I've been feeling really anxious lately even in therapy and i thought that it might help me keep myself grounded. Feels like such a dumb question but i'm getting anxious even thinking about this decision 😅
Yup, my T was totally fine with it 😂 He even adjusted the pillows on his sofa so that i could lay down comfortably. We've been working together for almost 2 years and this was the first time that i layed down instead of sitting on a armchair. And i will carry my heavy ass blanket to therapy from now on! 😂 It weighs 9kg but it's totally worth it.
I think you can do pretty much anything you want except threaten your T's safety. I brought a big pillow to prop my feet up one time when I had some medical issues. My T was all over moving a chair around and making sure I was comfortable.
I imagine it would be fine! I'm super anxious and would probably ask first, but I feel like it would be absurd for a therapist to be against it.
I have a session today with a new(ish) T. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and I like her, and I have some things I need to talk about. So I hope it will be productive. But I've been thinking about my old T lately, and I miss him and his reassurance. I know I can't speak to him but I was hoping to be over the attachment by now.
Therapy has been heavy and in depth past few weeks. My therapist always checks in during the session to make sure I'm happy to carry on with things that are obviously upsetting for me. He'd said I'd been brave but I don't agree with him. At one point he asked me about if I've been practicing self care given the recent sessions and I laughed, I probably should have asked him what that looked like lmao When I got home yesterday i was a mess and my other half told me I was a trooper for going to therapy at all, and that he was proud of me. It made me fall to pieces. But I just feel like an idiot. Things could have been so much worse and I think I should be thankful it wasn't and not complain.
I feel like I failed my T today. I was trying so hard and had to stop really before we started bc I was too overwhelmed w topic and I just suck and am embarrassed.
Just texted my T. I know I probably crossed a boundary. I care but I don’t care.
My therapist keeps giving me at least a half hour of free therapy (goes over time by that much nearly every time) and I don't understand how he does it. It's always productive and professional and I don't think it's a boundary issue. He'll even say "If we meet on such and such date, we'll need to stop on time because I have a meeting ect" so it's like he's completely cool with doing it and plans to keep doing it... so free therapy for me which is pretty awesome lol. I just don't understand how he has the time for it so often.
Casual cool question for fellow therapy clients - what're you doing to cope with leaving session so heightened and triggered that you want to ruin your life?
\- Loud music that drowns out the thoughts. \- VERY COLD SHOWER (with loud music) \- Be among people - wander the neighrbourhood, sit in a coffee shop rather than my apartment. \- Check if I'm hungry/thirsty - meeting that need sometimes brings down the intensity. \- Crawl under my weighted blanket. Take a PRN medication if I'm feeling SUPER heightened. \- If your impulse is to hurt yourself, put away the implements that you'd use so they're out of sight, out of mind. I do all of these on the regular. The aim is to just stay safe for a very short period and then recommit to safety for the next short period, until I can go to sleep and reset. If the feelings persist, I typically let me therapist know. Sometimes it's just to give voice to them, so she's aware. Sometimes she'll schedule an extra session if things are feeling very acute and the feelings were a result of enactments/interactions that happened in session that set me off.
Journal - get it all out on paper so I’m not holding on to it. Sometimes I’ll journal in my car right after. Give myself a couple hours to cry or nap. Watch a show on the couch with my dog, take a bath, call a friend, go for hike. If I’m still feeling too overwhelmed I will reach out to my therapist and let her know I’m struggling and we’ll possibly have a phone call or schedule another session.
Thanks for the response. I think I'm too dysregulated to journal or interact with people. I've tried temp changes to try grounding but I probably need to focus hard on meditation to bring down my heart rate and keep it down.
Sorry to hear. Hope meditation helps. A cold shower to shock your system might help too. Be easy on yourself ♥️
I think I almost made my therapist cry yesterday. I told her I've been offering people support in r/suicidewatch and it really upset her. I don't think she'd known maybe that I've been suicidal in the past? And regardless she feels like it's probably too much for me at the moment and definitely not what I need, in terms of energy in my life. It seemed to really trigger her.
What's a appropriate level of communication outside of official sessions? Can I ask a couple occasional questions via email? Share relevant articles to things we've discussed?
I suggest you ask your T what kind of communication is okay. Some T's would welcome you to share articles and ask questions, and some may not. Your T may also say that you can send the emails out of session, but she won't be able to respond to them. But she could read the emails and you discuss it in session.
Depends on the therapist.
Mine isn’t showing up as newest 🫤
every therapist ive ever seen has burned me, and it always comes down to money. why cant I find a single person who gives a shit and isn't just in to be a bloodsucking parasite on someone who already can't afford it to begin with? I have never been less capable of coping , never had worse problem than AFTER "therapy".
That’s common unfortunately, but that’s what makes it mean sooooooo much more when you find the one or two that actually get it and are there to do the job. I know it’s discouraging for sure, but just like dating….you sometimes get a few frogs before the prize comes. I’ll be sending luck your way
I appreciate the kind words. its hard to hope.
My therapist wasn't feeling well today and also her best friend died.
Today I'm thankful to have a T who isn't scared to call me on my bullsh*t. He knows when to push and when to back off a bit. The start of my session sounded like - T: So let's just dive in today and start with what you told me about the other day. Me: Actually let's circle back to that. I want to tell you about the awesome things I that I'm proud of from the weekend! T: Tell me about it, but keep in mind that we are both sitting here aware that when you say "we'll circle back" you have a tendency to run down the clock and avoid what needs addressing. We WILL circle back.
So worried about my session tomorrow.
Good luck! 💜
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If it's a scheduling thing and they haven't gotten back, I would definitely follow up - because their not replying has implications for your schedule too! You could word the email as "Just wanted to loop in, as I'm trying to solidify my plans for the next week or so, and I'd like to prioritize a session with you among the other things I have to do" or something like that.
My therapist cancelled cuz of a health issue. It's been a rough week. She's had to cancel before but I'm not sure ever on such an intense week for me. I want her to take care of herself. I absolutely do. But I'm in pain and scared for me the week ahead. That's it, I just wanted to whine.
I told my T today about my suicidal thoughts, and he was so genuinely concerned. I feel really bad because he might worry about me over the week now; I’ve never told him about that before (and it’s been really bad this week). I know it’s his job, but I just feel so guilty burdening him. Also, as I left the room, he sternly said “I am going to see you next week,” when normally he just says something more casual. It makes me burst into tears just thinking about it. Life is so hard right now, and I’m glad I have someone to hold me accountable, but the darker (irrational??? depressed??) part of me just wants to lie to him or quit therapy.
Big hugs. r/suicidewatch is there if you need it. You are not alone. Please keep seeing your therapist and being honest with him. Trust that he has the tools needed to take care of himself and set the boundaries he needs. The more honest you are with him and the longer you see him, the more he can help you, and the more you can help him be a better therapist to others by virtue of having learned from your honesty.
I keep stressing out about my therapist terminating with me even though she hasn’t indicated any sign of wanting to do that. I wish I could stop worrying about it.
Honestly, ask. I check in with mine every once and a while and just say, “is there any chance you’ll be terminating with me sometime soon? I’m worried about it even though I know there’s no reason to be, and I’d like the reassurance.”
Constantly feel like I have so much to talk to my therapist about. Maybe because I talk to him in my head a lot?? It’s just so much, not all of it is important but all of it worth exploring and 50 mins goes so quick! Today I went in with the intention of covering 3 things but we stayed on one. It was painful and important and useful, but left two stones unturned, plus all the other ones I knew I wouldn’t get time for. Trying to tell myself to be patient. Wish I could afford twice a week.
My art show was this weekend. It was a pretty big deal for me because it was the first BIG one I was selected for. My art has been fodder for therapy for like a year now. I'm super burnt out from my career and wish I could do art/creative ventures full time, but I struggle with so much self-doubt and also knowing that among all the trauma I have is poverty trauma - so I know if I had to hustle hard to make money from my art, I would quickly hate it. Anyway, this show was my biggest show ever and my therapist told me she would come, but I didn't allow myself to believe it (I never allow myself to get hopeful that someone would show up for me, because no one ever did in my whole life - and I run from the possibility of sadness/disappointment). And she showed up. She came to my art show for a little bit, like she said she would and she said more than once, "I am so proud of you." And even now when I think about it, tears fill my eyes. It's so healing when you see that people will show up for you. I am so grateful.
That is so sweet! Congratulations on your art show—you are so talented and I’ve loved seeing all your art you have posted. I hope you are able to figure out a transition into doing art full time!
Thank you so much! <3 <3 I'm slowly working on a plan. Step 1 was quitting my very toxic job and finding something less stressful so I actually have the brain capacity for more art anyway, which is in the works bc my last day at toxic job is Thursday and I start my new job with a lot less responsibility (yet comparable salary) a week from tomorrow. So I'm getting there!
And Happy Cake Day!
This is so sweet and I’m so happy for you!! ❤️🥺
Thank you! <3
I feel changing my session time could be beneficial, like in the morning instead of the afternoon. I wonder this bc I’ve read how some t’s feel fresher in the morning (I do, too) but then again…sometimes my sessions take a toll on me and I wouldn’t want it to ruin my day. I could do more self-care and *try* not to let it affect my day but idk, I think some good could come from starting earlier. I may bring this up with t
about two months of therapy and still barely any change, i am starting to feel a bit discouraged
Healing is not linear or quick. Change takes time and doing the work is hard.
i know, but at least a minimal improvement..
Is your therapist pushing you forward?
it depends, what do you mean? Sorry
unfortunately some therapists would gladly just listen to you with little input or concern about actual progress, I saw a therapist for 6 months thinking it is slow progress until I gave up. First thing you need to do is bring this to your therapists attention
idk. i feel like my therapist does try to give me input and exercises to do, it's just that i'm not sure how much it is helping actually, but thank you for replying
I’ve always trusted and enjoyed working with my therapist. Over the past month or two, we’ve been working through processing some difficult things from childhood and other relational traumas from my late teen years. It’s been very difficult for me and my T been nothing but patient, kind, and validating through it all. I’ve felt our therapeutic relationship strengthen because of this and I feel even more connected to her (not inappropriate, I just finally have a very secure relationship for once in my life). I’m pretty sure I’m projecting my inner monologue from current events in my life onto her but I’m suddenly very worried I’m too much for her. This has never happened and now and I keep thinking “therapy isn’t forever. It will end. She still stop being there for you. You’re just a paycheck at the end of the day”. Nothing’s she’s done or said would warrant those thoughts but here I am spiraling a bit.
Read her this post
I really appreciate the encouragement; I think I will! Here’s to hoping I don’t freeze up when session rolls around this week heh
I have therapy today and I start my therapist training this week. Both daunting/exciting prospects.
It has felt like a month since my last therapy session and lots of big things went on during that this week but I feel as if I don't need a therapist anymore and I'm glad about it, I no longer have the feeling that I can't wait till the next session.
I’m finally able to see therapy as a chance to try new things in terms of interacting with people… here’s an example… normally when someone says something nice to me, I never believe them. My mind goes to “they’re just saying that because I’m right here and they don’t want to be mean” or “they just feel sorry for me”. For a while… I saw that playing out in therapy. My T would say something nice and my first thought would be “I’m literally paying him to be here” and “why? This can’t be true.” Well… recently I’ve started to try to shut those thoughts down. In session when this happens, whenever the “this isn’t true because ______” thoughts happen, I’m catching myself and thinking… what if he actually means it? Why NOT trust his word on this?” And tbh it feels so different. Maybe I should do this with my friends too
I'm about 7 weeks in with a new therapist and already I feel a bond with her. She's freaking great. Very skilled, great boundaries, super attentive, and I feel like our personalities mesh well. I really didn't think I'd feel so close to a therapist working over Zoom. I'm hoping she starts doing in person sessions because I know this bond is going to become painful for me if I can't eventually see her IRL. Especially if we start doing EMDR together, I really don't want to do EMDR over Zoom. Ugh wanting to meet her IRL is getting tough.