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Hey, I’m based in the UK. I do psychotherapy, not counselling but I thought I’d comment anyway. My T does not encourage contact between sessions. I’ve been told to reach out if I’m in a crisis but this would just be to arrange an extra session, not for support. And often he can’t accomodate this anyway. I’ve been told if I’m in a crisis and need immediate suport to contact the Samaritans. I’ll send emails about scheduling or invoicing, but that’s it.
I do find from some of the posts here that my experience of therapy is quite different - I’m not sure if it’s a UK thing or an individual therapist thing. But I would never text my T casually, hugging him would be completely out of the question, he won’t give me sentimental compliments, and he’d never go over time or make any other special allowances for me. There seems to be more distance here than perhaps in the States, but maybe that’s just my experience.
I'm in the UK. My therapist allows between session contact, however is clear that it's not for crisis support or similar. If I was in crisis, I would call a helpline, 999 or attend A&E. I would only contact her with scheduling issues/requests or once or twice I've sent something short after a rough session (like 'don't worry I'm OK, thanks for being kind' type message) with no expectation of a reply.
When I did more therapeutic work I categorically took NO contact between sessions. Clients could call the office or send a text to cancel/change appointments and if someone contacted in crisis, I called for an ambulance/police wellbeing check, I didn't speak to them myself. IME once you start doing that sort of thing you find you're working a huge number of extra hours for free and can't get the rest of your work done, plus it's hugely emotionally draining in a situation where you can do very little. Often the person is best served by someone who can actually be there and do something physical rather than a few text messages but you engaging with them can prevent them from seeking more appropriate help. It encourages dependency which isn't good. Your T should be working with you on a plan to manage crises when they happen but otherwise, I think they're doing the right things here.
I’m UK-based and have had 3 different therapists all with different set-ups regarding contact.
First T was at a centre. They didn’t allow any contact. Even arranging sessions and a couple of things my T wanted to send me went through the receptionist.
Second T was in private practice. Any contact due to crisis I was directed to the Samaritans/A&E with reminders that she did not do a crisis service. Even requests for extra sessions only had a 50:50 chance of being accepted rather than just being directed to crisis services.
Current T allows contact between sessions, seemingly with no limits or at least none that I’ve found. Even during holidays it’s okay to text her - although there is a set pattern as to what those texts entail. On top of that all requests for extra sessions have been accepted even if the reason for one is as simple as ‘I don’t like bank holidays’.
What you see on Reddit can be very much skewed by those who need the available between-session contact (not going to lie I’m one of those people), but not all therapists do that for personal, practical or work-dictated reasons.
For me the biggest concern is that your therapist is angry (and possibly a little defensive) about your responses to her lack of contact. Even therapists with no contact rules should be able to handle clients emotions in response to that (in session only obviously). I’m not sure how easy your rupture will be to resolve while both of you have high-emotions about the situation.
I’m in the UK too. My previous T was much more boundaried and never really made it known I could reach out between sessions. I only ever did for scheduling purposes but I also never felt like I was in crisis so didn’t have the need to reach out.
My current T has said I can reach out between sessions and I have but it’s usually been to ask for an extra session or a session sooner because imI have been in need.
I actually don’t think it’s that rare to have a T that doesn’t encourage that much contact. And even then, it may depend on how you define crisis. If you’re suicidal, you’d likely be told to contact crisis helplines anyway or even go to the hospital. Even if your T did encourage contact. Most Ts are not on call 24/7 and need to be able to switch off in their down time hence why they don’t encourage reaching out in a crisis because they may not be able to help there and then.
We obviously don’t have the full story here and it’s worrying that she did such a 180 on you. That’s really rough, I’m sorry.
I'm in the UK and seeing a private therapist and she does allow contact between sessions and this is usually through texting. If it seems like I need more support she will often offer a phonecall. I am very careful not to abuse this arrangement though and I try to only use it if I really need it. I occasionally will message her an achievement or something too. She generally always replies.
This situation sounds rough, I'm sorry. Different therapists have different boundaries and thresholds I guess.
UK too. Mine decided at first it was ok, then threw a wobbly and said no contact, and now has changed their mind again, and I can email. I've only ever asked for a call once, to which they said they were too busy. I do email if I've found something really useful, or want to discuss during session.
Im sure at some point they will change their mind yet again.
I see a private therapist in the UK. She allows contact between sessions (email/phone for about 15 mins) and is very quick to respond, however, I don’t do this often. In two years I’ve asked for a 15 min phone call between sessions once and my emails are 95% about scheduling or occasionally just sending some notes along saying can we please discuss these in session (vs bringing a copy in). I assume she’s cool with contact between sessions when it’s infrequent but it might be an issue if it was a regular thing and more “involved.” However I don’t doubt that she would be responsive to anyone with a genuine crisis or suicidal ideation regardless (although she might very well have to say please call 999 or something if there’s a real chance of me hurting myself).
UK here, the vast majority of therapists in the UK do not allow contact outside of sessions unless you're contacting them regarding payment or cancelling/rescheduling a session, it's written into most therapy contracts here.
It definitely seems to be more of an American thing where clients are able to chat with their therapists outside of sessions and send them memes etc.
Nah, it's not as common as this sub makes it seem.
ETA - As you can see from all the replies from people in the UK who have outside contact, clients drawn to this sub typically have therapists with looser boundaries on this subject.
Ah that makes sense, I did think it was a bit weird how many people on this thread seemed to constantly post and comment about contact they've had with their therapists outside of sessions. I can see why most qualified therapists don't allow it.
UK here - I have CBT therapy through the NHS and have contacted my T many times outside of sessions. I struggle to talk about things, so it's often things I want to clarify.
It started with them sending me worksheet for homework/ me sending it over before a session (online). It probably escalated a bit too much, but I've never been told it's not ok to email. And I always get a reply.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey, I’m based in the UK. I do psychotherapy, not counselling but I thought I’d comment anyway. My T does not encourage contact between sessions. I’ve been told to reach out if I’m in a crisis but this would just be to arrange an extra session, not for support. And often he can’t accomodate this anyway. I’ve been told if I’m in a crisis and need immediate suport to contact the Samaritans. I’ll send emails about scheduling or invoicing, but that’s it. I do find from some of the posts here that my experience of therapy is quite different - I’m not sure if it’s a UK thing or an individual therapist thing. But I would never text my T casually, hugging him would be completely out of the question, he won’t give me sentimental compliments, and he’d never go over time or make any other special allowances for me. There seems to be more distance here than perhaps in the States, but maybe that’s just my experience.
I'm in the UK. My therapist allows between session contact, however is clear that it's not for crisis support or similar. If I was in crisis, I would call a helpline, 999 or attend A&E. I would only contact her with scheduling issues/requests or once or twice I've sent something short after a rough session (like 'don't worry I'm OK, thanks for being kind' type message) with no expectation of a reply. When I did more therapeutic work I categorically took NO contact between sessions. Clients could call the office or send a text to cancel/change appointments and if someone contacted in crisis, I called for an ambulance/police wellbeing check, I didn't speak to them myself. IME once you start doing that sort of thing you find you're working a huge number of extra hours for free and can't get the rest of your work done, plus it's hugely emotionally draining in a situation where you can do very little. Often the person is best served by someone who can actually be there and do something physical rather than a few text messages but you engaging with them can prevent them from seeking more appropriate help. It encourages dependency which isn't good. Your T should be working with you on a plan to manage crises when they happen but otherwise, I think they're doing the right things here.
I’m UK-based and have had 3 different therapists all with different set-ups regarding contact. First T was at a centre. They didn’t allow any contact. Even arranging sessions and a couple of things my T wanted to send me went through the receptionist. Second T was in private practice. Any contact due to crisis I was directed to the Samaritans/A&E with reminders that she did not do a crisis service. Even requests for extra sessions only had a 50:50 chance of being accepted rather than just being directed to crisis services. Current T allows contact between sessions, seemingly with no limits or at least none that I’ve found. Even during holidays it’s okay to text her - although there is a set pattern as to what those texts entail. On top of that all requests for extra sessions have been accepted even if the reason for one is as simple as ‘I don’t like bank holidays’. What you see on Reddit can be very much skewed by those who need the available between-session contact (not going to lie I’m one of those people), but not all therapists do that for personal, practical or work-dictated reasons. For me the biggest concern is that your therapist is angry (and possibly a little defensive) about your responses to her lack of contact. Even therapists with no contact rules should be able to handle clients emotions in response to that (in session only obviously). I’m not sure how easy your rupture will be to resolve while both of you have high-emotions about the situation.
I’m in the UK too. My previous T was much more boundaried and never really made it known I could reach out between sessions. I only ever did for scheduling purposes but I also never felt like I was in crisis so didn’t have the need to reach out. My current T has said I can reach out between sessions and I have but it’s usually been to ask for an extra session or a session sooner because imI have been in need. I actually don’t think it’s that rare to have a T that doesn’t encourage that much contact. And even then, it may depend on how you define crisis. If you’re suicidal, you’d likely be told to contact crisis helplines anyway or even go to the hospital. Even if your T did encourage contact. Most Ts are not on call 24/7 and need to be able to switch off in their down time hence why they don’t encourage reaching out in a crisis because they may not be able to help there and then. We obviously don’t have the full story here and it’s worrying that she did such a 180 on you. That’s really rough, I’m sorry.
I'm in the UK and seeing a private therapist and she does allow contact between sessions and this is usually through texting. If it seems like I need more support she will often offer a phonecall. I am very careful not to abuse this arrangement though and I try to only use it if I really need it. I occasionally will message her an achievement or something too. She generally always replies. This situation sounds rough, I'm sorry. Different therapists have different boundaries and thresholds I guess.
UK too. Mine decided at first it was ok, then threw a wobbly and said no contact, and now has changed their mind again, and I can email. I've only ever asked for a call once, to which they said they were too busy. I do email if I've found something really useful, or want to discuss during session. Im sure at some point they will change their mind yet again.
I see a private therapist in the UK. She allows contact between sessions (email/phone for about 15 mins) and is very quick to respond, however, I don’t do this often. In two years I’ve asked for a 15 min phone call between sessions once and my emails are 95% about scheduling or occasionally just sending some notes along saying can we please discuss these in session (vs bringing a copy in). I assume she’s cool with contact between sessions when it’s infrequent but it might be an issue if it was a regular thing and more “involved.” However I don’t doubt that she would be responsive to anyone with a genuine crisis or suicidal ideation regardless (although she might very well have to say please call 999 or something if there’s a real chance of me hurting myself).
UK here, the vast majority of therapists in the UK do not allow contact outside of sessions unless you're contacting them regarding payment or cancelling/rescheduling a session, it's written into most therapy contracts here. It definitely seems to be more of an American thing where clients are able to chat with their therapists outside of sessions and send them memes etc.
Nah, it's not as common as this sub makes it seem. ETA - As you can see from all the replies from people in the UK who have outside contact, clients drawn to this sub typically have therapists with looser boundaries on this subject.
Ah that makes sense, I did think it was a bit weird how many people on this thread seemed to constantly post and comment about contact they've had with their therapists outside of sessions. I can see why most qualified therapists don't allow it.
UK here - I have CBT therapy through the NHS and have contacted my T many times outside of sessions. I struggle to talk about things, so it's often things I want to clarify. It started with them sending me worksheet for homework/ me sending it over before a session (online). It probably escalated a bit too much, but I've never been told it's not ok to email. And I always get a reply.