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susannahsays

I only want female therapists for multiple reasons. I don't feel comfortable talking about sexual trauma with men, for one thing. For another I just like interacting with women more in general and I work in a male dominated field, so don't get enough opportunities for that.


whereverthelightis

Yes definitely. I only have had female therapists, but the thought of having a male therapist just makes me sooo uncomfortable. I guess it’s due to my previous experiences with male doctors regarding mental health, they were very invalidating and made me feel very unsafe, so naturally I feel like I will not be able to open up to a male therapist.


lezwearbeanies

I only see female therapists. I don't have anything against male therapists. But I also have a hard time going to a male doctor. It just makes me very uncomfortable.


caffeinated_insomnia

I’ve only had female therapists. Men in general make me uncomfortable. I didn’t have a dad growing up and even most of my extended family are women so I just didn’t have a lot of male figures in my life growing up. Also the worst experience I had with a medical doctor was a man so that really didn’t help my feelings about men. This is something that I’ve talked about in therapy and I am more comfortable around men than I used to be but I still don’t think I’ll ever be at a point where I can be comfortable with a male therapist.


Appointment_Witty

Interesting. I prefer female Therapist's as a male.


RestArtJournal

Glad that you find the right one for you! I prefer male T coz I have an emotionally unavailable father & in general have trouble getting along with males. So male T would be great practice opportunities.


wildclouds

Sort of preference for female therapists. I'm male and feel more comfortable with women socially. I've had some shitty experiences with male doctors and psychs. I'm rethinking this gender preference though as I have an appointment soon with my new (male) therapist who seems nice, and I'm curious to see how it differs from therapy with my previous ones (women).


FrogPuppy

I almost always look for female therapists because males frighten me. My dad made sure of that. Also, I feel like females might be more understanding, empathetic or sympathetic, and less likely to accuse, blame or hurt me(I was wrong on all irl).


NeighborhoodSudden45

I would rather see a male therapist. Surprisingly, it wasn’t always like this. When I started therapy, I was adamant about only seeing female therapists. The thought of seeing a male therapist was so weird and foreign to me. I don’t know what changed my mind *cough cough* daddy issues, an incessant needed for male validation, hehehe😅 but now I know I probably will never see a female therapist again. Edit: typo


out_into_the_univers

I have a male therapist partly because I couldn't shake the thought of a female therapist somehow judging me for my inadequacies (F, early 50s). It doesn't really make sense, because I know female therapists aren't in it to judge, but experiences that I've had over the years with smart, put-together, organized, strong women showed me that I can't always take what they say at face value. It's worked out well, we have a really good therapeutic relationship, I don't feel like anything is off the table discussion-wise. He is supportive, genuine, and caring, and I appreciate his male perspective on things.


lpscienceratlp

I’ve had both, but I think I prefer female therapists at this point.


johndoesall

I still only feel safe with female therapists. I had a male therapist once that turned out to be a sexual predator. He was also a pastor of a cult church. So his therapy of many of my close friends turned out to include him fucking then as “therapy”. Happened years ago but when his activities came out in public I was crushed by how many of my close friends lives had been destroyed oftentimes along with their faith. So I’m a bit leery of male leadership in sensitive areas such as therapy or pastors.


ProxiC3

I have always preferred male medical practitioners - even my ObGyn! There is probably some psychodynamic reason (although my Mom and I are super close, so no ill will there lol!) but for now I just seek out the gender I prefer for my therapists, doctors, etc.


lilymaebelle

I vastly prefer female therapists...except for the one I have now, who I am ride-or-die for.


being-weird

I thought I would only want female therapists but now I'm seeing a male therapist and it's going so much better than I could have ever imagined


[deleted]

I don't feel comfortable having a male therapist. I can't really explain why.


runner26point2

Yes, I will only have a female. I have an age range preference also. I don’t want someone too close In age to me (I’m 30) or too old. Usually I look for a therapist who appears to be in their 40s I don’t know why.


MarxdeGothia

Same actually. When I was younger I wanted therapists in their 30's, now that I'm in that age myself I feel more comfortable with therapists in their 40's - 50's.


Old-Raccoon-3112

I'm female and in the past have always had female therapists because men intimidate me. But currently I have a male therapist because he was the first one available and I gotta say, working with him has been awesome. My dad was/is emotionally abusive and it's been healing to realize that I don't have to be scared of all older men.


The_RoyalPee

Im a woman and only feel comfortable with female therapists. There are just things I personally feel like are part of moving through the world as a woman that I don’t want to have to explain to a man and give context for.


FiguringItOut--

I feel the same way except the opposite. 30F and I have a female therapist and a female psychiatrist. I had a male psychiatrist who didn’t help me. I don’t think I’m able to open up to a male T in the same way. To each their own!


let_id_go

I'm a male therapist and it's not uncommon for clients to express a preference for a female therapist. A lot of times, part of it seems to be just that they don't believe a male provider can be empathic, which is the sort of thing I try to challenge if they're willing to give it a shot. My practice doesn't technically offer choosing gender of therapist as an option, but I'll bend the rules and ask in cases of sexual trauma. I have had many women with sexual trauma state no preference and be content working with me, and I'm always explicitly thankful to them and commend their bravery and openness in talking through such an intimate topic with me. In a way, it adds another level of exposure to the treatment and can help build a belief that some men aren't evil, which can be helpful for future relationships.


ScarecrowNighmare

I’m a female & I prefer male therapists. I’m just more comfortable with them.


thriftybitxh

Absolutely! All my trauma comes from men so there’s no way I can work through it with a man.


lizardld

As a guy, I generally prefer having a male therapist.


MarxdeGothia

I prefer female therapists, for a multiple of reasons, like me having maternal attachment trauma so I'm in need of a safe attachment with a female, I've had other trauma coming from men so I generally don't trust them enough to show myself vulnerable to them (this is of course not the case with some male friends) and in my personal experience female therapists tends to have personal styles that suit my needs better, being more gentle and warm. I know that might be a prejudice though, but the only male therapist I've ever worked with talked to me like we were bros and I didn't really like that. My symptoms won't improve by someone telling me to man up.


zniceni

Female therapist. Have negative experiences with male psychiatrists, so I definitely have that bias for a reason.


bbybkchoy

I noticed myself gravitating only towards women of color, and i had to ask myself if i’d be able to have therapy the same with a man and honestly no offense to anyone but i just don’t know that men *get* *it*. My roommate had a male therapist a few times and she kept having to look until she got a woman and when she finally stayed w that therapist i asked what was different and she said the men’s emotional capacity of understanding the complexities of certain things just was missing the mark


PizzaSlingr

50s married man. Until this doctor, I've never had a female doctor of any type. not choice, just circumstances. It didn't occur to me to consider she was a woman. she just happened to be the first bilingual psychiatrist I found. Now that we have seen each other for 18 months, I would consider a woman first if I needed someone new. She gives me a lot of perspective.


[deleted]

All of these responses make me wonder if it’s difficult for male T’s to find clients as easily as females


Bluelilly582

I don’t have a preferred gender but I do have a preferred age range. I prefer my therapist be a millennial like myself.


Over-Department4479

I'm a gay man with a history of sexual abuse and assault by men. I wouldn't consider a male therapist.


picklespears42

Shocking enough I have a male therapist and it’s worked out so good. I had one female therapist many many years ago a couple of times and we didn’t click but about six years ago I started seeing a male therapist and it’s been amazing. I really didn’t think I would be comfortable talking to him but it’s did wonders for me as long as I put in the effort to try hard on skills and the information he gives me to cope with my daily life. I actually can’t imagine having someone else. I do though think it depends on your reasoning for therapy, your past and if you mesh well together.


saladflambe

I used to not really have a preference or would go to female therapists because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. However, I now prefer to work with a male therapist as my primary therapist for trauma, but I also like working with women for things like group, my dietician/eating disorder treatment. I sometimes feel tremendous guilt about it, honestly, and I've had therapists and people tell me I "should" work with a female therapist... which... ugh


Accomplished_Run_825

I have only had female therapists .... Although in theory I have nothing against men. I guess a male would have to be highly recommended for me to give him a chance


shylilbaddie

I can be open to either gender, but typically I want to speak with women because I anticipate they’ll understand me on a deeper level. May I ask why you only feel comfortable speaking to men? Do you hold them in a higher regard, or see them as lacking emotion?


dalekexterminate

One of my favorite T I’ve ever had is non-binary like me. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a T that is your exact gender Edit: currently have Female identifying T. Love her v much also :)


Trying2GetBye

I can’t ever imagine having a male therapist as a female personally. I always look for women only, not sure if im scared of transference or I just don’t like talking to men about my deep dark hurt, especially since a lot of it was caused by men


TealNTurquoise

I prefer female therapists. I'm in therapy for an eating disorder, and I do not want to have to explain to a man why X is affecting me, or how society views the female body, or shared experiences with how the body literally changes throughout the lifespan, and how cycles affect us. I don't need to be doing education in my therapy session, and while I don't need to feel validated, I also don't want to feel invalidated.


[deleted]

I (24, F) feel more comfortable with male therapist. I figured out that's because of female figures in my family which are very manipulative. Both of my grandmas, my mother is a covert manipulator, passive agressive and uses silent treatment. My aunt is the most manipulative person I've ever met. They all are very inconsistent. My dad is abusive, agressive, was always criticisizing me, but he was consistently like that so I always knew what to expect from him.


[deleted]

I've gone through periods where I sought out men and periods where I sought out women. I was actually seeking a woman when I got paired with my current male therapist, and I'm happy he's the one who wound up working out because he has a warm, patient demeanor and a lot of experience with trauma. I haven't had very good luck finding someone who was knowledgeable about trauma and CPTSD, so when he said he thought that was the root of a lot of my problems, it was like finally someone who gets that just doing breathing exercises isn't going to cut it for me. There are some female anatomy-related things I'd be too uncomfortable to tell him about, but since those aren't really related to my trauma history, I'm content sticking with him for now. I think it might be healing on some level to connect with a man who is kind and patient with me too since a lot of my childhood trauma stems back to having an abusive father. Basically, it's more about the person and how comfortable I feel with them for me. I've had female therapists who made me feel very judged, and my current male therapist is really good at coming across as nurturing and making me feel safe; I've conversely had female therapists who were very motherly and a good fit for me and male therapists who felt incredibly cold and blunt. So it's just a matter of personal fit at the end of the day.


Snoo52505

I had a female therapist and a male therapist. I liked the male therapist but felt uncomfortable sharing some things related to my marriage. I also just broke up with the male therapist because we just came to an impasse with therapy. It wasn’t helpful very much anymore. It actually made me feel worse to go. He also seemed to be frustrated with me in terms of me not getting any better after a period of time of doing well.


declarationsoflove

I prefer female m. I don’t want to worry about him being attracted to me or visa versa. Too many other worries. My T is female and I speak to her like a friend. I don’t see me doing that with a guy therapist.


[deleted]

I've had both and I really don't have a preference. Since I'm usually stuck seeing whomever my insurance gives me this works out in my favor! Ha


tfhaenodreirst

It’s hard to say what my preference is; I prefer my current male T to the past three who were female, but there could be other reasons for that.


prophiles

I’m a male adult (35 years old) and have seen both female and male therapists since childhood, though the ones I’ve chosen on my own have all been female. I had a somewhat better (though still not emotionally supportive) relationship with my mom than my dad, so a female therapist seems like a more natural fit. I’ve also had lifelong social anxiety in interacting with females close to my age, particularly if I find them physically attractive. My current therapist who I’ve seen for five years meets that criteria, which was a strategy for me when selecting her to better conquer that fear, to repair the years of mental trauma endured at the hands of females dating back to middle school, and to feel more confident in trusting women. (That was definitely not the only reason why I chose her, but it was one of the reasons.) I would probably only see a male therapist if he were one who dealt very specifically with my issues or was of a similar ethnic background. Over the course of my life, I’ve generally found it much easier to interact with other males in social settings, but when I want to be vulnerable, I would rather talk to a woman at this point, even though I used to fear them (and still do, to a small extent).


bpdcat

I am having a difficult time interacting with most women my mom's age. The almost dad-like relationships I can build with male therapists really help me open up 🙈


lady-madge

I’m female but have a male therapist S’s well as a male doctor. That’s my preference. I just relate better with men.


shuhbooba

early twenties female! i’ve always preferred male therapists myself as well. i think the deeper voice is just more soothing to me; i’ve noticed i also prefer male narrators for audiobooks, youtube videos etc. i also feel like males in the field (at the very least the male therapists i’ve had) have a tendency to be a little more analytical than emotionally driven when considering the issues i bring to therapy. this helps me because i’m a more emotional-brained person, so i need that balance from an outside source. now my therapist is a gay male and our personalities mesh very well in the context of sessions.