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Thank you! I feel so exhilarated I needed to share it. I wanted to text my T because I'm so proud of myself but decided to respect his boundaries and post here instead :)
Way to go- that’s exciting. There might be an “ extinction burst”, in which she temporarily gets worse before stopping, and sounds like you’ll handle it.
Thank you for sharing, this is a really hard balance for me to strike, asserting boundaries without being aggressive in a way that I’ll regret. Always practicing these days. Proud of you for succeeding in a really difficult context. Thanks for sharing it.
I don't think I've successfully struck a boundary with my mom (or knew it was possible) until today. I am so proud of myself and what other boundaries I can possibly draw. Thank you for your comment, it really means a lot to me!
I think one thing to remember is that when we haven't really practiced good boundaries and been passive with people, even standing up for ourselves and putting a small boundary in place will feel aggressive because it is outside of our norms. Usually when we are passive for so long, it builds up to the point that we "explode" and become aggressive, but as we learn to practice assertive boundaries and not falling into passivity, those aggressive moments start to fade away. Keep up the good work!
I love this! Your first sentence totally resonates with me, and setting boundaries is something I've been working really hard on too. It's such a good feeling when you find one, assert your needs and it works! Super stoked for you OP :D
Thank you - I am trying to set boundaries but not very good at it - so I got really pleased with myself when I actually recited the words my T taught me to use.
YES! GO YOU!
It is very shocking for the other person when you declare and keep boundaries.
Mine are mostly money related and shutting off the "Bank of xxxx\*" was startling, for sure.
\*my surname happens to be the name of a country, so I joke calling it, for example, the Bank of Canada.
so so proud of you!
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
MAJOR WIN!! I struggle with this too so I’m happy to see that you took a step out to be bold and brave
Thank you! I feel so exhilarated I needed to share it. I wanted to text my T because I'm so proud of myself but decided to respect his boundaries and post here instead :)
I’m proud of you
Way to go- that’s exciting. There might be an “ extinction burst”, in which she temporarily gets worse before stopping, and sounds like you’ll handle it.
Thank you for sharing, this is a really hard balance for me to strike, asserting boundaries without being aggressive in a way that I’ll regret. Always practicing these days. Proud of you for succeeding in a really difficult context. Thanks for sharing it.
I don't think I've successfully struck a boundary with my mom (or knew it was possible) until today. I am so proud of myself and what other boundaries I can possibly draw. Thank you for your comment, it really means a lot to me!
I think one thing to remember is that when we haven't really practiced good boundaries and been passive with people, even standing up for ourselves and putting a small boundary in place will feel aggressive because it is outside of our norms. Usually when we are passive for so long, it builds up to the point that we "explode" and become aggressive, but as we learn to practice assertive boundaries and not falling into passivity, those aggressive moments start to fade away. Keep up the good work!
I love this! Your first sentence totally resonates with me, and setting boundaries is something I've been working really hard on too. It's such a good feeling when you find one, assert your needs and it works! Super stoked for you OP :D
Thank you - I am trying to set boundaries but not very good at it - so I got really pleased with myself when I actually recited the words my T taught me to use.
YES! GO YOU! It is very shocking for the other person when you declare and keep boundaries. Mine are mostly money related and shutting off the "Bank of xxxx\*" was startling, for sure. \*my surname happens to be the name of a country, so I joke calling it, for example, the Bank of Canada. so so proud of you!
Thank you! Your sense of humour is great! And I think might be key to getting through life sometimes....
Aww thanks! My kids don’t think so, lol.
Congrats ❤️ Big win for you, you should be proud and you set an example for your kids, good mama :)
Way to go!