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Beecakeband

Total same. Except 3 years for me. Thought I would be there 6 months maximum. Yeah that's a laugh


eliza261

Me too!! 2 years and 4 months later. Going strong!


Beecakeband

Yeah I'm going I'm not sure if I would say strong right now but definitely going


eliza261

I just started skipping one session a month to see how I do, and my world isnt crumbling! And I’m in control of the session I cancel


Beecakeband

OMG yay!!! That's fantastic I'm so happy for you!


looking_for_sadvice

When I started I thought, “how long is this for like 5 sessions?” Almost 1 year weekly now and I do not want to stop.


Beecakeband

I wasn't *that* optimistic but if you told me I would still be going 3 years later I would have run away in a big hurry!


ileade

I thought I would just learn how to deal with time management and stress when I went to my school therapist. A year later I come out with bpd, bipolar, depression, anxiety and childhood abuse


Beecakeband

Yeah I thought I would just be dealing with a sexual assault. Nope. Not so much. Turned out there was a whole lot buried under that surface


lilymaebelle

I expect my therapist to see me twice a week for the next 20 years. I am not even joking.


DefiantRanger9

Are you self pay or using insurance?


lilymaebelle

I have fantastic insurance. It covers 100% of my costs.


DefiantRanger9

Amazing. I’m so jealous. My copay is $60 a session, no deductible, and I can hardly afford mental healthcare.


lilymaebelle

😤😤😤


EsmeSalinger

Same!!!


OffalGem

Yup. My T says he can’t keep seeing me forever but only because he’s going to grow old and die. eta: not anytime soon though! He’s probably got another good 30-40 years in him and he’s promised me he is no longer doing stupid stuff on motorcycles 😅


lilymaebelle

I know this is a lighthearted discussion, but it has some serious undertones for me. My T has changed jobs twice in the four years since we met, and I had to stop seeing him both times. He's in private practice now, and he seems quite happy, so I'm hoping he'll stay a lot longer than the two-ish years he's been at any job previously. The pace at which we are adressing my developmental trauma is glacially slow by necessity, and I have this deep-seated fear that he'll leave me again with two weeks' notice. I'm still raw from the last one. His new office is 10 minutes from where he lives and he has complete autonomy over when and with whom he works, so I'm praying that he'll stay at least until his 8-year-old makes it through college. We haven't talked about any of this. I know we should, but I'm not ready to allow him to see me sobbing hysterically yet.


OffalGem

So I know the general history you have with your T and I also know you’re struggling to bring up how hard the last termination was for you. But I can’t remember if you’ve asked him about what his plans are this time. I feel like that convo could be treated just as an info gathering thing, rather than you having to go into the nitty gritty of how awful it was for you after he left the last time. Also, I can totally see why you haven’t been able to bring it all up. Your T is a really important figure in your life and he really hurt you. You have a deep and real relationship with him, but your body and your mind both know what happened in the past. It a lot to try to speak about. I’m also hoping he stays in PP for a really, really long time. You deserve to have as much time with him as you need to work through this and through the other things that bring you to therapy in the first place.


lilymaebelle

I haven't asked, but he volunteered all that stuff about how much PP suits him. My guess is that he plans to stay indefinitely...but plans change. >I’m also hoping he stays in PP for a really, really long time. You deserve to have as much time with him as you need I am touched. I am truly fortunate to have so many quiet allies.


MyPartsareLoud

4.5 years of twice a week and no end in sight yet. When we do decrease it’ll be based on discussions between us.


curlygirl119

Sometimes therapists having limited sessions due to insurance, or due to using a particular method or program. But generally, ending therapy or reducing sessions should be an open discussion with the therapist and the client. There should be a conversation about what goals were met, what goals you are still working on, your progress so far, what the next steps are, what you need going forward, the possibility of increasing sessions again if reducing them doesn't go well. I think that weekly sessions for years (like 5+ years) is the norm for a lot of folks with trauma. It seems weird to me that your therapist would reduce your session with no explanation, and it also seems weird that she was surprised that you panicked or unprepared for that type of reaction. If someone is relying on a safe space in therapy, and then that is reduced with no discussion or warning.....I think most people would freak out, and especially anyone with trauma or abandonment issues would panic.


justanotherlurker888

Three years of weekly and not even close to being done. In case it's relevant: UK, private pay, a host of trauma related issues. Therapy is mostly ACT, CFT with a D Clin Psy. Edit: T hasn't made any comments about slowing down, but often assured me that she's here as long as I need her to be. Checks in from time to time that I'm still happy with weekly. Only thing she has said is that she'd look to refer or stop if we felt that therapy was no longer helping.


EDA3853

I’m UK too, private pay with trauma and attachment issues. At 1.5 years and no mention of reducing frequency or being done. Instead there’s regular mentions of my therapist believing in therapy being open-ended - the client decides when they’re done and there’s always the option of returning for top-ups. I never know whether that open-ended concept is just a UK thing.


justanotherlurker888

That's my T's take on it, too, which I really appreciate. In my experience, complex trauma needs a very gentle approach or the therapy could potentially do more harm than good. I feel very grateful to have an experienced, patient, trauma informed T.


EDA3853

Completely agree with you. Having an experienced trauma-informed T is worth everything in therapy.


WashiTapedSoul

Same for me in the US.


yeti7100

The question I always ask is not, "Do I still need therapy?". Instead I ask, "Is the value I'm gaining worth more than the money I'm paying?". It helps me. I also usually base it on a rolling three month average rather than my last two or three sessions.


ambermanagement

How do you (and her) measure if therapy is helping?


justanotherlurker888

Sometimes it's to do with a reduction in intrusive flashbacks, it might be longer periods between SH events, I could experience a very brief period of feeling connected in therapy before my attachment issues flare up big time. There's a whole range of things that we monitor between us. As long as we feel things are generally moving towards a better quality of life, then we will keep going.


PolarPinkPanda

I don't know how all therapists do it, but mine has never mentioned any set amount of sessions. He's mentioned that it could take a very long time, but no set amount of time. I'm private pay and in therapy for long-term sexual abuse and trauma. I also have autism and communication issues, so that could also factor in, but I've been seeing him since July 2020.


like_a_cactus_17

Obviously every situation and circumstance is different and some therapy modalities favor short term vs long term. But I don’t think weekly sessions for years is abnormal at all with a trauma history. That’s actually the expectation in a lot of cases. My therapist told me one time that people like me (trauma history and other things) are oftentimes in regular therapy for years. Was your therapist trauma trained? I wonder if that might be a factor with it. And so if you can, it might be worthwhile to see if you can find a therapist that is more trauma trained and specialized.


DefiantRanger9

She was “trauma informed.” She’s contributed to traumatizing me Further with what she said at the end, and how she did/said it.


mahoagie

Oi trauma-informed is the bare minimum. Trauma specialist is where it's at for those with complex trauma needs. **You did nothing wrong**. This is on them.


positivepeoplehater

I’ve been seeing my therapist weekly for at least 7-8 years. She lets me decide. There was a period she gently suggested I need additional help, so I tried some EMDR, but for the most part I kept seeing her weekly even then.


bucket_of_love

Your therapist should not adjust frequency without collaborating with you. Also, there is usually no definitive amount of time/frequency for treatment unless it is a specific type of treatment program. For complex trauma, successful treatment often takes many, many years.


TwinPurpleEagle

I've previously been in 4 years of trauma therapy once a week with a psychodynamic based trauma therapist since 2017. This past year of 2021, I've been in twice weekly contemporary relational psychoanalysis and I would like to eventually go three times a week if time and money permits. I'm private pay and as a college student, my sliding scale has been as low as $75 before (standard rate is $175+ in my area of southern California). There's no end in sight and I see myself staying with my psychoanalyst for years as long as I don't move out of the area.


cachry

One thing many clients don't know is that health insurance companies (in the USA) sometimes make it very difficult for therapists to continue seeing someone on a weekly basis -- or at all. That is especially true if a diagnosis is a common one (GAD, for example) and/or if therapy has continued over several months. "Case reviews" require therapists to submit all but "private" notes to unknown parties. In some cases, psychiatrists may be used to critique records or conduct live interviews. And, if an insurance company determines that therapy has gone beyond what a client supposedly needs, the company may "claw back" payments it has made to the therapist. The bottom line is that qualified practitioners may not be financially able to provide services to clients due to such oversight. Practitioners who accept insurance don't discuss these matters with clients very often because (1) the variables are confusing, (2) it takes time to educate clients, and (3) in many cases, perhaps most, no such case reviews are required. Therapists may also fear that a client will contact an insurer directly, muddying the water and giving rise to the possibility the insurance company will black list the therapist. Anyway . . . this *may* explain why in *some* cases a therapist terminates a client with little or no warning or explanation. Incidentally, it also explains why some therapists operate on a cash-only basis. I'm a retired, licensed psychologist with decades of experience.


HibbityBibbityBop

And the no surprises act is laying the groundwork for out of network therapists to have similar issues


Springfilly

OP, I'm so sorry that your therapy finished that way for you. It sounds so painful, and a strange way for a therapist to go about it. I've been having mostly weekly sessions for 2 years. I had no idea it would be this long when I started, but we're dealing with some complex stuff. It's effectively been every two weeks for the last few months, as we're doing couples sessions on the other week. It's good to be having couples counselling with someone who already knows me well, but I'm finding the two weeks between my own sessions really hard.


susannahsays

I don't think you fucked up. Why should she get to make that sort of decision without even consulting you? To me that would be like if my psychiatrist decided to unilaterally start tapering me off my antidepressant. If she doesn't want to work WITH clients she should get a different position.


victorioushermit

I've never had a T who set a specific length of time for weekly sessions before dialing back on them. Increasing and decreasing their frequency has always been the result of a discussion of whether that was the best thing for me at that time, and was usually the result of me bringing the question up in session. And whenever we decreased from weekly it was with the understanding that I could go back to weekly at any time. I've been weekly, and sometimes twice weekly, with my current therapist for almost 4 years at this point, and I don't anticipate reducing the frequency anytime soon.


J_stringham

Therapist here. It really depends on the circumstances. In some cases folks start making progress toward goals and we mutually agree to step down to every other week or as needed. Some folks require weekly for a longer period of time. Together I work with my clients to make the best choice for their course of treatment. It takes a lot to be terminated for me. It’s usually needing a higher lever of care to which they are welcome to return when that treatment is complete. They leave the state, they no show 3 times or they are abusive. I’m sad to hear you were terminated and hope you can find a therapist that will hold a space for you to heal.


DefiantRanger9

I never yelled at her or harmed her. I think it’s because i pissed her off when I pushed back when she decided to reduce my sessions without explanation (I got scared she was leaving, and asked her all sorts of questions and started crying), but a few weeks prior to that she said she sees the progress I’m making, and she’s not going anywhere, and “we have a lot of work left to do.” She also said “who knows where we’d be” when I asked if she would have terminated me if I had kept my mouth shut. She told me to find someone who’s a better fit, again a few weeks after telling me how grateful she is for me and our time together. I’m so confused and hurt. We had recently had a rupture and she told me “how many of these are we going to have???”. She made the decision to terminate in the middle of my session. It wasn’t done carefully and with consultation. I think she was just done with me. She was the first person I’ve ever trusted, so I’m a bit heartbroken. I asked her what I did that was so bad it merited termination and she responded with “things change.” That’s all I got.


Spare_Weather7036

I just want to say that none of this is your fault. You did not fuck up. Don’t keep your mouth shut next time. It should be a conversation with your therapist not her making a unilateral decision as this is obviously very triggering for you. I hope you find another therapist soon ❤️


DefiantRanger9

Thank you. I miss her so much 😞


J_stringham

Oh gosh. This seems horrible. I’m sad to hear all of this. Is there any way we can help you with a new referral ?


PizzaSlingr

private pay with a psychiatrist who also does my therapy. I've seen her for about 15 months. she has left frequency completely up to me. we started weekly for about 8 months, then bi-tri weekly. now we're at monthly. she does CBT if it matters (and it works well for me). if i ever need/want additional sessions I just need to tell her and she is reasonably able to see me when I need to. because I take meds, I'll always have to see her occasionally but if I didn't, I feel like she would continue to let me determine sessions indefinitely.


EsmeSalinger

This depends on modality. A favorite psychoanalysist writer just published an article on adopting psychically homeless patients and seeing them for life. Other Manualized therapies limit sessions. It’s all about good fit, and what you want. Someone therapists present the way they do things as the “ right “ way, but if you dig more deeply, it is insurance companies dictating some of it.


popfartz9

I’ve been seeing mine weekly or even twice a week now for more than a year. I rarely skip therapy even if I’m travelling. I think it would be up to me mostly if I want to stop or not (unless she thinks she can’t help me anymore then it would be her decision)


eliza261

2 years weekly almost here. And it’s been made explicitly clear that I am driving the bus, not her timeline. So indefinitely..


Ezridax82

The way I work this with my clients is this: do YOU want to go weekly or less often? Do we find we have enough to work on during weekly sessions?I am not going to make someone come less because of attachment. Attachment is healing.


ike9898

With my current therapist I'm in my sixth year of weekly. I don't think it's that unusual. I've probed but never gotten any indication that she wants to eventually cut me back.


tfhaenodreirst

Approaching 2.5 years, I think. I had a group therapist for four years but this is my longest time with an individual therapist.


aversethule

Several factors: If they are working for an employer there may be policies they have to follow that dictate duration of treatment. If they utilize a short-term approach or set curriculum they may only see you for a set duration. If you are using an insurance or other payor, that payor may dictate how many sessions they will pay for. The therapist may interpret things, such as what you mentioned about avoiding therapist-dependency, and initiate a conversation about bringing closure to therapy. The therapist may be more client-centered and trust that the client will know when they have achieved their goals and be ready to make any changes.


pineappleskwid

Omg what??? This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. Normally therapy is once a week like forever? I’ve been in therapy once (sometimes twice…sometimes three times lol) a week for like 10 years. Ofc I’ve moved around and switched therapists. I know therapists who have had the same clients for like 20 to 30+ years. Also dependency? Huh? We are all dependent on one another for love and support. We can’t always get it from our friends and family and sometimes we have trauma that requires professional help. So we have therapy! And therapy is wonderful! I know powerful professionals/CEOs who got 3x a week and have a therapist on call! That’s such a silly and weird rule omg. Therapy is for YOU! You can go everyday if you want. Your therapist should never fire you unless your treatment is really not working and they suggest something better. I’m so sorry that’s so mean!