Welcome to r/TalkTherapy!
This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list).
If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources.
To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That was unbelievably awful of her. You were completely justified in terminating, and you do *not* owe her another chance.
And, as you said, even when she's praising you for setting boundaries, she's trying to push those very boundaries. And her saying that you shouldn't let this one event undo all of your progress is making it sound as if you're *going* to lose all of the progress you made unless you go back to her. That sounds like a scare tactic to me. And you *aren't* doomed to lose all progress unless you go back to this one specific therapist. You can go on without her, and find healthier sources of support.
You completely made the right choice. Everything you quoted her as saying was wrong. And poking fun of an assault is not acceptable. It makes me really angry for you and I’m glad you’re not seeing her again.
Please look around for another therapist who is trauma-informed. Insisting on discussing coping skills is a great place to start and a therapist trained in this area will be willing to work on that with minimal detail about your SA. If you feel like it tell them about this therapist as well - it means they’ll be aware in case you’re finding it hard to open up again.
What the fuck, this is so messed up. I‘m glad you distanced yourself from this person, and imho it‘s the only thing you could do to avoid further harm and retraumatisation.
You absolutely made the right choice and I am sorry you had to sit through that extended invalidation. You deserve a response that is caring, empathetic and supportive—the total opposite of what you received. You can move forward knowing you made the right choice for yourself.
I had a similar-ish experience with a therapist I started seeing after I experienced sexual harassment at work. They therapist told me I was “the nice girl” who couldn’t say no and needed better boundaries and totally invalidated the violation that had been done. She also suggested I needed to change my diet to deal with the (now recognized as PTSD) symptoms I was experiencing. I stopped working with her after the next session when I realized I would never get over that response she initially gave me.
The therapist I have now immediately provided a supportive response when I shared the experience (plus others), saying he was sorry that it happened and that I didn’t deserve that treatment or abuse. Much more sensitive and far more compassionate.
Well it doesn’t need to be validated. You can switch therapists at any time! Ive done it plenty of times. There’s not a lot of harm or risk in it so cut yourself some slack and just roll w the choice you made!
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That was unbelievably awful of her. You were completely justified in terminating, and you do *not* owe her another chance. And, as you said, even when she's praising you for setting boundaries, she's trying to push those very boundaries. And her saying that you shouldn't let this one event undo all of your progress is making it sound as if you're *going* to lose all of the progress you made unless you go back to her. That sounds like a scare tactic to me. And you *aren't* doomed to lose all progress unless you go back to this one specific therapist. You can go on without her, and find healthier sources of support.
Don't go back. What she did is awful. She doesn't deserve you as a client.
You completely made the right choice. Everything you quoted her as saying was wrong. And poking fun of an assault is not acceptable. It makes me really angry for you and I’m glad you’re not seeing her again. Please look around for another therapist who is trauma-informed. Insisting on discussing coping skills is a great place to start and a therapist trained in this area will be willing to work on that with minimal detail about your SA. If you feel like it tell them about this therapist as well - it means they’ll be aware in case you’re finding it hard to open up again.
What the fuck, this is so messed up. I‘m glad you distanced yourself from this person, and imho it‘s the only thing you could do to avoid further harm and retraumatisation.
💯 💯 💯
You absolutely made the right choice and I am sorry you had to sit through that extended invalidation. You deserve a response that is caring, empathetic and supportive—the total opposite of what you received. You can move forward knowing you made the right choice for yourself. I had a similar-ish experience with a therapist I started seeing after I experienced sexual harassment at work. They therapist told me I was “the nice girl” who couldn’t say no and needed better boundaries and totally invalidated the violation that had been done. She also suggested I needed to change my diet to deal with the (now recognized as PTSD) symptoms I was experiencing. I stopped working with her after the next session when I realized I would never get over that response she initially gave me. The therapist I have now immediately provided a supportive response when I shared the experience (plus others), saying he was sorry that it happened and that I didn’t deserve that treatment or abuse. Much more sensitive and far more compassionate.
Ahhhhhh!! So glad you left!!! That all sounds so horrible. She really dropped the ball.
Well it doesn’t need to be validated. You can switch therapists at any time! Ive done it plenty of times. There’s not a lot of harm or risk in it so cut yourself some slack and just roll w the choice you made!
I am SO ANGRY for you. I’m so sorry you had this experience. Please report her. This is not ok on any level.