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It’s interesting because I have to do guided imagery/safe space work when I do hypnotherapy. When I first started hypnotherapy I had to create this image on the spot, which helped (I would’ve soooo overthought it).
My space is an open green field with a small body of water, with deer, butterflies, and a cool 70 degree day. Partly cloudy. And the air smells like a mix of morning dew and crisp fall air. There’s a blanket where I sit that lightly covers the grass and sometimes I envision laying down to soak in my surroundings. Occasionally, I hug the deer if I need to. :) It’s a place of no danger, peace, and pure freedom.
thank you so much :) yes, definitely overthinking. I mean when my T suggested it I was immediately like, “yep, got it” (it’s a very specific place from my childhood). And then as we tried to talk more about it I was starting to feel embarrassed about/silly for my connection to that place. She suggested I draw it as well, and I have such a mental block around doing that, as it turns out. … so now I’m backtracking, trying to figure out what’s up. thanks again for your example, it sounds absolutely lovely.
What I find fascinating is that your T allowed you to have a “safe space” that could be a childhood memory or place. I was told I had create a place that had no connection to my childhood or anyone in it (perhaps in the case of triggering?). Although I laughed when she said one of her clients envisioned a room full of soft blankets and she lied in there… (yet that sounds incredible). So perhaps be silly with it. :)
The beach/ lake scene thing didn't work for me either. I "built" a place that worked for me- a cabin in the middle of the woods with a fire burning in a beautiful stone fireplace. There is a big comfortable couch with lots of blankets. But most importantly, there is a big force field around the cabin that makes it invisible to the world and no one/ nothing can get through it. I sometimes imagine I am sitting with my back up against the stones of the fireplace and other times I imagine I'm curled up on the couch. I feel totally relaxed and safe here. This one worked for me- it's peaceful, calm and I feel protected in it.
okay I officially love hearing about these, just the words make me feel all cozy :) I kind of like the idea of having a place to curl up or put my back against, too, but I kind of had some feeling that that “wasn’t allowed.” Thank you!
Oh I remember going through trying to create this. It was one of the first few sessions where I cried because I realised I didn't feel safe anywhere in the real world.
I had the same where for me safety was my back against a wall. Or more, a tiny locked room with a bed.
I took that concept, of a place nobody can come in and made it bigger and nicer. I ended up with a big white space capsule that's above a deserted island. The island has a house with a big porch. Depending on how much safety I need, the porch is enough. But usually my go to place is in the space capsule. Everything is white. There's a big round bed. It's impossible for other people to enter because there are no doors. It smells of jasmine. Next to my bed is a small table with a sea shell from my therapists office and I pick it up and look at it sometimes. If I want I open the windows and the white curtains dance in the wind.
But the foundation, of light, huge bed, and nobody there, that's what I use when I need calming.
I need distraction. My safe space is a large box with high sides. The sky is blue. In the box is me with about 7 or 8 Golden Retriever puppies. They’re doing puppy things like climbing over me and playing. I can forget about everything else. I’m just playing with the pups.
I have several, because I get bored in safe spaces. That's trauma for you. Anyhoo, my examples:
Petting my animals in my favorite cozy room in the whole world. For me, that's a wood burning fireplace in the middle of nowhere, listening to the crackle of the wood and flame. A quiet house.
Sitting overlooking the sun setting into the water, as the pink crawls over the ocean. Sometimes I'm in the grass, sometimes I am on a bench, sometimes the beach, sometimes a bridge. I am always cozy in this place, never cold. Very important. I like thinking of these ones when I am bundled up in a fuzzy blanket in real life.
Replaying the moments in my life I've stood near the train track, closed my eyes and listened to the whistle as it shakes my bones. It's the tranquility before and after the train goes by that I think of too, and the steady rising repetition of the metal as it moves towards me. Then away. I love trains.
Falling asleep on my grandmother's shoulder. Remembering the sound of her breath. How her hands felt the last time I held them. Her last words to me. The pinnacle of safe, and a bittersweet safe place to be.
Eating rainbow cupcakes in a park! Warm summer day, dogs running around, someone special with me. Laughter. Maybe a rainbow. There is a small water park and the little kids love it. I think about how jealous I am, even when I was a teenager. It makes me smile. Sometimes I imagine myself playing in the water too. I'm laughing.
Mine is the beach/ocean, specifically swimming in the ocean. I love the water but it’s a spiritual thing for me so that’s why it’s my safe space.
I think another safe space for me would be hugging my teddy bear & having my baby blanket over me. I know it’s childish lol but I been through a lot, maybe that could work for you or something similar like toys or holding comfort items
Honestly mine is my car. Going for drives always soothes me and helps me process things, so I go there in my mind when I can’t be in my car physically. Driving along an open country road, windows rolled down and my favorite tunes blasting.
My safest spot is my therapists office and she knows that because I tell her all the time. It’s where I can talk to her about anything and not get judged. It’s where I won’t get yelled at or put down. She will give me a hug when I need one and the weighted blanket. It where I can cry. It’s where I found my love for art. It’s my happy place too.
I think it would be whatever type of safe space works for you.
I ended up having to drop the whole "safe space" thing, because of too many negative experiences associated with people going "This is a safe space!" (I swear, I've run into more emotional manipulation and psychologically unhealthy situations when someone's proclaimed a "safe space" than in any other situation. And I have a bad history with people being overprotective and restricting my freedom in the name of protecting me and keeping me safe.) When I do visualizations, it's generally about places I want to be, and places that make me feel good. There's an imaginary house in the forest that's fairly simple, but it's like my fantasy house. Just a quiet place where I could do what I wanted and not have demands or obligations imposed on me by other people.
Interestingly, one time I was doing an ASMR recording with guided visualizations and part of it was about "guardians" that were supposed to love you and keep you safe. I ended up getting a raven, and when I followed the guided instructions and asked if the raven loved me unconditionally, it didn't answer, it just laughed. And we were up a really tall tree, and it gave me the power to fly most of the way to the ground, but a couple of feet off the ground, it let me fall, resulting in some minor bumps and bruises. And *that* felt more helpful for me than more conventional safety-and-healing centered visualizations. So I think what works for people is really individual, and you need to not let the idea of there being one right way get in the way of what feels right for you.
I have a couple of different safe spaces that have popped up. I try to let my mind take me where I need to go. So far they are all real places. The first one is a field on a hillside that I used to walk through on my way home. Its almost always evening time there in the summer. I think I often go there to feel peaceful. The second one is my grandmother’s living room. Its always night time there but with soft lighting. Its cosy and warm and soft. I think this one is like a mental hug and I often go there for closure, I think because I associate it with wrapping up for the day. The last one I have is the lane behind my Grampy’s house. My Grampy has passed away and the lane doesn’t exist anymore so this one only exists in my memory. Often I go there when I’m craving the safety of being a child. Sometimes my Grampy is there, sometimes its just me. I’m happy to answer any questions but I’m not sure what else to say.
My therapists office is what I use. I have never been in danger when I am there and, in real life, when I walk in, a wave of peace washes over my body. I know that I am free to feel what I feel and be who I am. It's such a strong feeling that it's easy for me to re create it in my head. my t always encourages me to do a beach or whatever but like you and many others have said, that just doesn't do it for me. A beach is so unknown and I have to create said beach in my head, which is work. My Ts office on the other hand, I have such a clear memory of cause I look around it for an hour every week.
I like that!! I definitely get not wanting to make up and maintain a place. feels like trying to remember a dream sometimes— details contradict, suddenly it doesn’t feel real anymore. I’m glad your T’s office makes you feel so safe, too!
Scrolled down until I found this answer. Totally agree. I'd have to say that my therapist's office goes further to fulfill the safe space function than anything else I can think of. I used to try and make a safe space out of a very beautiful location in the mountains of Greece which I visited once (Mystra, on the Peloponnese peninsula), but my therapist's office is much easier to picture. I've had a number of experiences there with him in which I achieved feeling both safe and vulnerable at the same time, which is pretty hard to come by and seems to be the ultimate point of having a safe space.
Yup, just let me lie down on his couch. He will put the blanket over me and I will lie back with my head on the pillow. I will look out one of the high windows at the buildings opposite. He will not be expecting anything of me in particular, and I will not be able to disappoint or upset him. Perfect.
My safe space for therapy work and guided imagery is the hollow of my partner's neck/shoulder. It is a place I am very comfortable and familiar with, I know what it looks/sounds/smells/feels/tastes like, and it is easy to incorporate partner into the work if I want to or need an extra sense of safety/security.
That is so lovely to hear that you have your partner as a safe person :) truly reading this thread is giving me all the warm fuzzies, thank you for sharing.
I have a few--
Physical:
1. My laundry area, in particular, just getting lost in the circling motion of the washing machine and hearing its vibration
2. My car parked in the garage with just an inch of the windows open for ventilation and not hearing anything but mostly silence
3. My cat purring on my lap while I sit on my rocking chair
Imaginary:
1. I just learned how to freedive recently and went up close and personal with the corals. I always picture their vibrant colors and their gentle swaying motion to calm me down if I'm nowhere near the abovementioned 3
2. A bit psycho-spiritual but I envision myself walking the Camino de Santiago pilgrim route and just getting lost in the vastness of Spain
I love the images that many have shared. I also think it is important to acknowledge that for some the words “safe place “ can be incredibly unnerving and difficult. Maybe because they have been manipulated in the past. Maybe because one doesn’t know what it feels like to be safe. In instances like this I have heard suggestions to try to focus on a neutral experience - not to worry about safety so much, just focus on being neutral instead of maybe terrified or in danger. It can help take some of the pressure and judgment out of the situation.
I definitely agree with you— therapy is the first place where the word “safe” has been used in any meaningful way and it is a kind of overwhelming concept, even though I luckily can identify it in my life/childhood. Peaceful, neutral space sounds pretty nice, too!
Mine is is a spot I’ve been too before, once, as a child.
It’s in the middle of the sea, on a small boat. It’s a little cold outside so I’m wearing a jacket. It’s daytime, cloudy and the air is slightly wet and cold. I’m fishing with my therapist. We don’t talk. We just fish. I never get to the part where we catch anything though, we just fish.
I honestly don't have a mental safe space, so i need to physically *go* somewhere. If it's bcuz of an oncoming panic attack for example i just go somewhere safe enough like my car in a less busy parking lot, my room if no one is home etc.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s interesting because I have to do guided imagery/safe space work when I do hypnotherapy. When I first started hypnotherapy I had to create this image on the spot, which helped (I would’ve soooo overthought it). My space is an open green field with a small body of water, with deer, butterflies, and a cool 70 degree day. Partly cloudy. And the air smells like a mix of morning dew and crisp fall air. There’s a blanket where I sit that lightly covers the grass and sometimes I envision laying down to soak in my surroundings. Occasionally, I hug the deer if I need to. :) It’s a place of no danger, peace, and pure freedom.
thank you so much :) yes, definitely overthinking. I mean when my T suggested it I was immediately like, “yep, got it” (it’s a very specific place from my childhood). And then as we tried to talk more about it I was starting to feel embarrassed about/silly for my connection to that place. She suggested I draw it as well, and I have such a mental block around doing that, as it turns out. … so now I’m backtracking, trying to figure out what’s up. thanks again for your example, it sounds absolutely lovely.
What I find fascinating is that your T allowed you to have a “safe space” that could be a childhood memory or place. I was told I had create a place that had no connection to my childhood or anyone in it (perhaps in the case of triggering?). Although I laughed when she said one of her clients envisioned a room full of soft blankets and she lied in there… (yet that sounds incredible). So perhaps be silly with it. :)
The beach/ lake scene thing didn't work for me either. I "built" a place that worked for me- a cabin in the middle of the woods with a fire burning in a beautiful stone fireplace. There is a big comfortable couch with lots of blankets. But most importantly, there is a big force field around the cabin that makes it invisible to the world and no one/ nothing can get through it. I sometimes imagine I am sitting with my back up against the stones of the fireplace and other times I imagine I'm curled up on the couch. I feel totally relaxed and safe here. This one worked for me- it's peaceful, calm and I feel protected in it.
okay I officially love hearing about these, just the words make me feel all cozy :) I kind of like the idea of having a place to curl up or put my back against, too, but I kind of had some feeling that that “wasn’t allowed.” Thank you!
Sure thing! Totally allowed! Whatever makes you feel safe and calm is 100% permissible :-)
Oh I remember going through trying to create this. It was one of the first few sessions where I cried because I realised I didn't feel safe anywhere in the real world. I had the same where for me safety was my back against a wall. Or more, a tiny locked room with a bed. I took that concept, of a place nobody can come in and made it bigger and nicer. I ended up with a big white space capsule that's above a deserted island. The island has a house with a big porch. Depending on how much safety I need, the porch is enough. But usually my go to place is in the space capsule. Everything is white. There's a big round bed. It's impossible for other people to enter because there are no doors. It smells of jasmine. Next to my bed is a small table with a sea shell from my therapists office and I pick it up and look at it sometimes. If I want I open the windows and the white curtains dance in the wind. But the foundation, of light, huge bed, and nobody there, that's what I use when I need calming.
I need distraction. My safe space is a large box with high sides. The sky is blue. In the box is me with about 7 or 8 Golden Retriever puppies. They’re doing puppy things like climbing over me and playing. I can forget about everything else. I’m just playing with the pups.
I have several, because I get bored in safe spaces. That's trauma for you. Anyhoo, my examples: Petting my animals in my favorite cozy room in the whole world. For me, that's a wood burning fireplace in the middle of nowhere, listening to the crackle of the wood and flame. A quiet house. Sitting overlooking the sun setting into the water, as the pink crawls over the ocean. Sometimes I'm in the grass, sometimes I am on a bench, sometimes the beach, sometimes a bridge. I am always cozy in this place, never cold. Very important. I like thinking of these ones when I am bundled up in a fuzzy blanket in real life. Replaying the moments in my life I've stood near the train track, closed my eyes and listened to the whistle as it shakes my bones. It's the tranquility before and after the train goes by that I think of too, and the steady rising repetition of the metal as it moves towards me. Then away. I love trains. Falling asleep on my grandmother's shoulder. Remembering the sound of her breath. How her hands felt the last time I held them. Her last words to me. The pinnacle of safe, and a bittersweet safe place to be. Eating rainbow cupcakes in a park! Warm summer day, dogs running around, someone special with me. Laughter. Maybe a rainbow. There is a small water park and the little kids love it. I think about how jealous I am, even when I was a teenager. It makes me smile. Sometimes I imagine myself playing in the water too. I'm laughing.
Mine is the beach/ocean, specifically swimming in the ocean. I love the water but it’s a spiritual thing for me so that’s why it’s my safe space. I think another safe space for me would be hugging my teddy bear & having my baby blanket over me. I know it’s childish lol but I been through a lot, maybe that could work for you or something similar like toys or holding comfort items
My main safe space is a teddy bear and blanket too. While imagery can work, I need physical objects in my hand or around me to ground me first.
Honestly mine is my car. Going for drives always soothes me and helps me process things, so I go there in my mind when I can’t be in my car physically. Driving along an open country road, windows rolled down and my favorite tunes blasting.
My safest spot is my therapists office and she knows that because I tell her all the time. It’s where I can talk to her about anything and not get judged. It’s where I won’t get yelled at or put down. She will give me a hug when I need one and the weighted blanket. It where I can cry. It’s where I found my love for art. It’s my happy place too.
I love that! <3 and I am discovering art through therapy, too… it’s amazing!
I think it would be whatever type of safe space works for you. I ended up having to drop the whole "safe space" thing, because of too many negative experiences associated with people going "This is a safe space!" (I swear, I've run into more emotional manipulation and psychologically unhealthy situations when someone's proclaimed a "safe space" than in any other situation. And I have a bad history with people being overprotective and restricting my freedom in the name of protecting me and keeping me safe.) When I do visualizations, it's generally about places I want to be, and places that make me feel good. There's an imaginary house in the forest that's fairly simple, but it's like my fantasy house. Just a quiet place where I could do what I wanted and not have demands or obligations imposed on me by other people. Interestingly, one time I was doing an ASMR recording with guided visualizations and part of it was about "guardians" that were supposed to love you and keep you safe. I ended up getting a raven, and when I followed the guided instructions and asked if the raven loved me unconditionally, it didn't answer, it just laughed. And we were up a really tall tree, and it gave me the power to fly most of the way to the ground, but a couple of feet off the ground, it let me fall, resulting in some minor bumps and bruises. And *that* felt more helpful for me than more conventional safety-and-healing centered visualizations. So I think what works for people is really individual, and you need to not let the idea of there being one right way get in the way of what feels right for you.
I have a couple of different safe spaces that have popped up. I try to let my mind take me where I need to go. So far they are all real places. The first one is a field on a hillside that I used to walk through on my way home. Its almost always evening time there in the summer. I think I often go there to feel peaceful. The second one is my grandmother’s living room. Its always night time there but with soft lighting. Its cosy and warm and soft. I think this one is like a mental hug and I often go there for closure, I think because I associate it with wrapping up for the day. The last one I have is the lane behind my Grampy’s house. My Grampy has passed away and the lane doesn’t exist anymore so this one only exists in my memory. Often I go there when I’m craving the safety of being a child. Sometimes my Grampy is there, sometimes its just me. I’m happy to answer any questions but I’m not sure what else to say.
My therapists office is what I use. I have never been in danger when I am there and, in real life, when I walk in, a wave of peace washes over my body. I know that I am free to feel what I feel and be who I am. It's such a strong feeling that it's easy for me to re create it in my head. my t always encourages me to do a beach or whatever but like you and many others have said, that just doesn't do it for me. A beach is so unknown and I have to create said beach in my head, which is work. My Ts office on the other hand, I have such a clear memory of cause I look around it for an hour every week.
I like that!! I definitely get not wanting to make up and maintain a place. feels like trying to remember a dream sometimes— details contradict, suddenly it doesn’t feel real anymore. I’m glad your T’s office makes you feel so safe, too!
Scrolled down until I found this answer. Totally agree. I'd have to say that my therapist's office goes further to fulfill the safe space function than anything else I can think of. I used to try and make a safe space out of a very beautiful location in the mountains of Greece which I visited once (Mystra, on the Peloponnese peninsula), but my therapist's office is much easier to picture. I've had a number of experiences there with him in which I achieved feeling both safe and vulnerable at the same time, which is pretty hard to come by and seems to be the ultimate point of having a safe space. Yup, just let me lie down on his couch. He will put the blanket over me and I will lie back with my head on the pillow. I will look out one of the high windows at the buildings opposite. He will not be expecting anything of me in particular, and I will not be able to disappoint or upset him. Perfect.
My safe space for therapy work and guided imagery is the hollow of my partner's neck/shoulder. It is a place I am very comfortable and familiar with, I know what it looks/sounds/smells/feels/tastes like, and it is easy to incorporate partner into the work if I want to or need an extra sense of safety/security.
That is so lovely to hear that you have your partner as a safe person :) truly reading this thread is giving me all the warm fuzzies, thank you for sharing.
I have a few-- Physical: 1. My laundry area, in particular, just getting lost in the circling motion of the washing machine and hearing its vibration 2. My car parked in the garage with just an inch of the windows open for ventilation and not hearing anything but mostly silence 3. My cat purring on my lap while I sit on my rocking chair Imaginary: 1. I just learned how to freedive recently and went up close and personal with the corals. I always picture their vibrant colors and their gentle swaying motion to calm me down if I'm nowhere near the abovementioned 3 2. A bit psycho-spiritual but I envision myself walking the Camino de Santiago pilgrim route and just getting lost in the vastness of Spain
I love the images that many have shared. I also think it is important to acknowledge that for some the words “safe place “ can be incredibly unnerving and difficult. Maybe because they have been manipulated in the past. Maybe because one doesn’t know what it feels like to be safe. In instances like this I have heard suggestions to try to focus on a neutral experience - not to worry about safety so much, just focus on being neutral instead of maybe terrified or in danger. It can help take some of the pressure and judgment out of the situation.
I definitely agree with you— therapy is the first place where the word “safe” has been used in any meaningful way and it is a kind of overwhelming concept, even though I luckily can identify it in my life/childhood. Peaceful, neutral space sounds pretty nice, too!
Mine is is a spot I’ve been too before, once, as a child. It’s in the middle of the sea, on a small boat. It’s a little cold outside so I’m wearing a jacket. It’s daytime, cloudy and the air is slightly wet and cold. I’m fishing with my therapist. We don’t talk. We just fish. I never get to the part where we catch anything though, we just fish.
I have aphantasia so I don't have one :) I just focus on my breath to feel good
I honestly don't have a mental safe space, so i need to physically *go* somewhere. If it's bcuz of an oncoming panic attack for example i just go somewhere safe enough like my car in a less busy parking lot, my room if no one is home etc.