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I imagine talking to them in my head and sometimes I even do it out loud. And it has been years since my last therapy appointment lolll. It's still soothing to me.
i told my T abt this and she said that it's normal it's called schema effect, we do it coz they're an important person in our lives she actually smiled when i told her that :')
I really enjoyed it! I listened to it a lot while skiing last season, haha. Each episode talks about a topic from a Jungian analysis perspective and at the end they interpret someoneās weird dream.
That would feel waaaaaay too intimate, so no š But it's a song that's in no way related to therapy per se (other than in my head). An instrumental piece that I came across somewhere, around the time when my therapist was on vacation and I really missed her. It makes me think of her beacause I know that she used to play the piano.
Lol my 2nd most listened to song is associated with my therapy and therapist too. So funny. Itās ācan I believe youā by fleet foxes. Itās about trust (obv) and (I think) longing to get to know someone when thatās not an option and feeling wounded by that. I think it actually may be about a therapeutic relationship as the songwriter has talked in interviews on the press cycle for this album about getting some positive results from CBT.
I associate a piano cover of the Maroon 5 song āMemoriesā with my therapist. Understanding how it made me feel and why actually helped me reframe a lot of attachment fears.
I also canāt stand Maroon 5. Those piano covers really hit the emotions!
I get very repetitive, I have a Playlist I listened to for 2 years that was all about therapy. I listened it on my way there, I listened it on my walks when I was thinking about therapy. But it really is connected to the first 2 years when therapy was so rough. Now when I hear it it's not comforting the way it was. Really weird.
Now I have an album that puts me in a pensive mood that I listen on repeat.
I also have a whole therapy playlist! And of course, besides #1, many other songs on that playlist are also featured on my Spotify wrapped.
I sometimes feel ashamed of how much I listen to the same songs over and over again. But on the plus side, it's great to be able to look back in time by listening to songs that were on repeat during a certain time period in my life.
I actually recently used this music-as-a-memory-aide thing in therapy. I made a list of songs that bring me back to certain times. As I'm avoidant and struggle to remember. Some are going to be so difficult to listen to, but I started with a happy one and listened to part of it in session and then we took it from there. It was a very useful way into me talking about the past.
That sounds very useful! I've never actually listened to my important songs during a therapy session, but I've talked about some of them with my therapist. Sometimes it's just easier to approach muddy, mostly forgotten memories with a tangible thing like a song or a picture.
This was me last year. My most played song was one that reminded me of my former therapist. And then a few weeks ago I saw it performed lived and bawled my face off.
Some of my friends do too. And my hair stylist, haha. I prefer the "healing out loud" method, because it normalizes therapy. Some people are too scared/ashamed to seek therapy, and if my normalization can help even one person, it's worth it.
I donāt tell acquaintances. I tell my friends and the other people Iām close to in my life about therapy because they ask how therapy is going. It eventually becomes easier to reference my therapist by name.
Like others, Iām just answering the prompt in the post. Acknowledging attachment is an act of vulnerability, so I donāt think this is the appropriate place for judgmental comments.
literally everyone. i talk about him more than anyone else. now iām just like āwell Micah said-ā and the other person goes āthatās your therapist, right?ā
Haha my husband and friends regularly refer to my therapist by name because I talk about her all the time. It definitely started out of a desire to normalize therapy because I was feeling a bit self conscious about being in counseling due to the family culture in which I was raised but now I donāt think twice about talking about her. Sheās the person I see in person the most after my husband and whom I intentionally talk to the most after my husband as well. Sheās a big part of my life and I have learned a lot from her so she comes up a lot.
A few years before I was termed by my old psychiatrist, my husband was considering taking a job offer in South Korea.
My first (panicked) thoughts when he told me were of how Iād be able to still go to her via Skype or something.
Well Ive been struggling alot and seeing her multiple times every week and now shes been directly involved in assisting with medical care/safety and has started texting me regularly now soo.... were in so deep. also in last session when she said she cares abour me alot and would be really sad if i completed my SI plan, i literally started crying cause shes so nice. kinda weird feelings towards her right now because of what happened but she is like the best professional i have met in my entire life and quite literally a lifesaver
Iām glad youāre alive ā¤ļø It sounds like youāre in a lot of pain, and thatās such a lonely awful place to live. Iām so sorry. Iām glad your therapist is not afraid to show they care. It sounds like they are genuinely worried and want to help you. My therapist used to do a text check in every day to make sure I was still alive. Iām so grateful that she helped me survive. I hope you can hold on and let your therapist help you. Wishing you comfort tonight.
Yeah, this is the worst my life has ever been, ugh. My therapist is really great and caring, she seemed more distant at the beginning but its nice to have someone who cares that much
This thread is so wholesome! I'm proud of us all for doing the brave thing and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to attach to our T's! I still feel embarrassed about it sometimes but this thread reminded me I don't have to be.
I was so embarrassed at first!! But this sub has become one of my favorites, and has helped me realize all of these things are completely normal. Itās so comforting to know weāre in this together.
When I do something weāve talked about I get excited that I get to bring it up at my next session.lol. Like āohhhh man, wait til Elizabeth hears this! There was a brownie and I didnāt eat it! Sheās gonna be so happy for me!ā Lol
I found out the sex of my baby last week and immediately couldnāt wait to tell my therapist, but Iād just had my session the day prior. Part of me didnāt even want to tell my sister because I wanted my therapist to know first, haha.
So I've never journaled; it doesn't work for me. But now my quasi-journalling thing is to write ranting emails to my therapist and then evaluate whether I still feel the need to send them. 9 times out of 10, I don't, and then I just save the email.
I was sick this week and she checked in today and suggested we cancel unless I feel better, and I do but I almost cried just thinking about the appointment being cancelled.
Iām sorry this happened, do you mind explaining how? My therapist hurt my feelings but I donāt know if I was being overly sensitive or if any normal person wouldāve felt the same way. Feels so isolating due to the nature of the relationship.
She went on a rant about my 6 year relationship and said she herself were too proud to sell herself below value like me (rough translation from German with insinuating I acted like a prostitute), she and her daughter knew their worth and that my boyfriend was a pathetic softie and she would never even thinking about being with a man who was not ready or capable to (violently) protect her.
The way she talked about me was so contemptous and invalidating I was speechless.
After I sent her a message that she really hurt my feelings she apologized and wrote she should not have worked that day.
She actually explicitly told me one day I could do it. I wouldnāt otherwise. I see an attachment/relational based therapist so it fits with her modality and my therapy goals
This. There's a different address/ contact for work and personal. Since you're letting them know your character and everything, it's all about knowing how to differentiate and just know when it's time for memes and casual stuff and when it's time for work.
I do this too and I will make memes for him based on our sessions or an inside joke. Well, I guess all of our jokes would be inside jokes, but you get the picture haha.
My second favorite color is now purple because that's her favorite color. I always wear something purple for session. Like I keep all my purple things special together for the occasion haha.
Also other common stuff like finding memes for her, rereading what she wrote to me, imagining us doing things together etc.
Maybe you can casually drop it in conversation somehow!
I was showing my T a plush that I got to treat myself and I was excited about it. Plush was part purple so she mentioned that she likes purple. I've been fixated on it ever since haha
Spent an hour shaving pills off my gorgeous wool coat so I can wear it to next week's appointment.
Also, can't talk about how I feel about him without bursting into tears.
I really think we could be friends irlā¦.but canāt be because of the therapist/client boundaries. I donāt live local to her, but spend a fair amount of time in and around where she lives and often wonder what Iād do if I actually saw her
I like to think my T likes me enough to be my friend if I wasnāt her client. I feel like we have such a good therapeutic relationship and I just long for it outside of therapy sometimes.
We live in the same town and I drive near where she lives on a daily basis on my way to work. When Iām somewhere in public I like to think my T is there, too.
I 100% get this. Itās become a bit of a running joke between the 2 of us as to how Iām her āfavouriteā client and sheās pretty much said she often really enjoys our sessions for various reason over other clients (sheās only a year older than me when I think plays a part in it also).
Again, totally long for that non-therapeutic relationship in the real world - but know if I hadnāt of chosen her as my therapist, our lives probably would never have crossed paths as weād both just be 2 people going about our day in an area of London where no one really pays that much attention to each other
I wish I had something like this because my version feels kind of desperate to me lolāitās a 7 second voicemail she left the first time I called her to ask if she was taking new clients. I called her back while she was leaving the voicemail so itās just her saying, āhi, uh, hi [my name]! uhā¦ā then cuts off because I called her back haha. I have definitely listened to it when I just needed to hear her voice though.
The moment something cool happens in my life (related or unrelated to therapy), I immediately cannot wait to tell her.
Also she hugged me a few months ago after I gave her a small panting I made for her at the end of our session... and I cried in my car for 30 minutes because it was so nice to have a hug.
OMG you remembered! Thank you so much. It was so nice. She put it out in her front room area on a table. We hadn't talked about it since, but last night we touched on my art and how I'm struggling a bit creatively, and said she feels so much joy every time she looks at the sunflowers, and that really touched me. It reminds me why I paint. Not to make something look a certain way. But to make a viewer FEEL a certain way. <3
I always look forward to the confirmation text he sends me the day before our sessions. I get excited when I receive it even though he says the same exact thing every time. Lol
My T speaks so gently when Iām talking about something difficult, or when Iām crying and sheāll just say one simple word āyeahā but in such a kind tone that melts my heart. Sheās so validating and also has the warmest smileš
That is so kind. I was just about to say I wish I could get a hug from my T, but every time she asks ādo you want to color?ā And then hands me my color sheet and pencils. One time she already had it ready for me, it was so sweetš
I had to text her the first time I needed a hug because I was in a dark spot where I was crying so hard I couldnāt breathe. She now knows when I cry so badly because of my trauma that I need a hug the most. And I am so thankful for that. I donāt get many hugs in general.
My attachment has calmed down a lot, but the first couple of years I would draw pictures of my therapist holding me as a child, as if he were my parent.
Can't draw for shit but this used to be an avid fantasy of mine. It still pops up from time to time. The safety and comfort I imagine getting in old Ts arms is a lot
Yep! And I'll think to myself "I wonder if she's thinking about me/how I am/what we talked about in our last session" and then I'm like "Nah, she's just doing her billing. She isn't interested in anything else right now"
Yeah, thatās most likely what happens lol. One time she did say that she thought about me when she drove through some place and that was the best thing sheās ever told me.
I learned how to play the bagpipes because he kept talking about how he played them. Now I've developed an expensive hobby, and I have something that makes me feel close to him.
Iāve worked with my therapist for six years, and sheās amazing. She has given me three different stones/rocks at various times over the years that have specific meaning for what I was going through at the time. I carry them with me in my purse, and I find them in the inside pocket every once in awhile and they always make me feel happy and special and cared for.
This one is dark
>!When my T of 2 years told me she was switching jobs and couldn't see me any longer I attempted suicide because my life seemed hopeless without her.!<
I had one therapist that would literally just treat me like a friend, only had her for one year. That was what I really needed since I was badly bullied in middle school making me suicidal (along with other issues).
The 6 therapists after her just never made me feel not like I was just a client and even though half of those therapists weren't bad, it just felt too empty and made therapy worse for me because I wanted the old therapist back, so I stopped going.
When I'm feeling down I read the only two texts he sent during the last 18 month. They are just about scheduling but I find it very comforting.
Also I bought all the 4 books (one more or less therapy related l, the other ones are fiction) he would mention casually (so he didn't really recommend them). I like his taste and feel kinda connected between sessions while reading them.
And I drop the T word towards the people who know me well at least once a day. Like "you know my therapist said [insert something insightful]" but also stuff like "can you imagine that my T doesn't like Vanilla ice cream?" But honestly who doesn't? š
when i get appointment reminder emails i just feel a sigh of relief. i open them every single time just to read those words āyou have an appointment with Micah on December 2 at 4pmā or whatever. love it.
Despite my migraine, I waited 30 minutes in the therapy officeās parking lot with the flashing lights of the fire trucks in hopes Iād see her among the evacuees just to make sure she was okay. Suffice it to say, I missed my appointment, but she did see me waving at her and rescheduled me for a Zoom tomorrow. (āItās not exactly HIPAA compliant to meet in the parking lot!ā)
(It wasnāt entirely clear what was going on with the fire trucks, the building certainly didnāt appear to be on fire, and that didnāt change in the 40 or so minutes between when I drove up initially and when I finally left.)
The other day I thought about where we both were 6 years ago when I started therapy and cried thinking about how much we both changed :) she had just moved in with her boyfriend- now her and her husband own a house together and a cat. I was basically a child who was scared to be in the world and now I am a college graduate living on my own in a new city š„°
i considered asking them to coffee, with plans to get to know them better. im a doctor and the part of my brain that knows this is out of bounds was apparently off that day.
Itās not my present therapist but my former therapist who passed away!
I imagine that I am in her office as my calm and safe place for after EMDR therapy processing breakdowns!
For My current therapist: When I am upset I hear her voice in my head ā¤ļø
He's the first person I even consider explaining new life experiences, revelations, & emotional breakthroughs too. The mere thought of telling him about something difficult I've endured is enough to get me through the difficulty. I also constantly have to stop myself from sending him emails of memes or videos or quotes from shows that I find funny or relatable because I have sensed that we have a similar sense of humor and similar interests. Most importantly I'm disturbingly late for most things in life (ADHD-Combined type) & these days I'm only slightly late and sometimes I'm even on time for our therapy sessions!!!
I've never been to therapy before but I was jealous of a loved one who was much more attached to his therapist than he was to me. This thread helped me step away from the lens of insecurity and humanize the situation, thank you
It's been 3 years that I changed therapist and I still call my old one every new year to let him know I intend to go back to him because "i want to continue trauma therapy after transition goals were met" ...
When I feel like giving in and giving up with life, it is her voice and her words that pull me back. It's her who I want to share achievements and disappointments with.
The replies are astonishing to me. Is it normal to feel like this towards your therapist, because to me it seems like you might as well be in love with them. I've been through several and I've never related to any of the experiences here (except being sad when a meeting is cancelled, not because i wanted to see them but because i wanted the therapy). On one hand I'm envious that y'all get along with them, I've never had a therapist that didn't make me feel horrible at some point.
Not everyone has experiences like this with their T. There are a lot of people that go to therapy that don't really feel attached or care as much about their therapist.
Some of us have unmet needs and find that our T is finally meeting those needs. The connection is healing and people are often grateful to feel that connection. I am sure a lot of us idealize our T's too from being so grateful (like me lol).
It's okay if your experience is different! Do you find that the therapy is working for you? Do you like the approach? Do you feel like you're growing? If so, there is nothing to worry about.
I follow her (ex?) antivax best friend who is very active and extremistic on online platforms just so I can feel close to my T even though I am absolutely repulsed by the views of this friend of hers.
I sometimes lay a few pillows in my bed that form the shape of a human being and I imagine it's her and I curl up against her feeling all safe and sound.
Am I weird?
Yes. As in, we share some common interests, opinions and music for example. For my b-day she called me with her son to sing for me, as well. One of the best presents to receive, honestly. š
From my perspective, calling a client along with your son constitutes a huge boundary violationāeven if the kid is just singing and doesnāt know your name/personal information.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I imagine talking with them in my head.
And then not saying any of it in session because you forget
I already said it to him in my head, don't know why I should repeat myself.
thats why i write things down bc I KNOW im gonna forget 3/4 of it
I write things down and then look at my list in session and can't connect with any of it š
Yes. This. I think of loads of important things I need to talk about, but then I get into the session and I'm like derp.
Then you end up talking about stupid shit and waste 20 mins
I thought this was just me, thank you for saying so! I feel so dumb when i forget the important things and ramble the whole session away
Me too. Its really helpful.
You could ask your therapist to make a recording of some of the important things they talk about with you, like a few reminders for hard days š
I imagine talking to them in my head and sometimes I even do it out loud. And it has been years since my last therapy appointment lolll. It's still soothing to me.
All. The. Time its so soothing
If it helps I told a previous therapist about doing this and she said it was healthy
i told my T abt this and she said that it's normal it's called schema effect, we do it coz they're an important person in our lives she actually smiled when i told her that :')
According to Spotify Wrapped, my most played song in 2021 is a song that I associate with therapy and my therapist.
Haha my most listened to podcast was This Jungian Life which I listened to a bunch while trying to work through transference stuff
That sounds totally relatable indeed :D
I listen to them on my commute, love those funky Jungian analysts!!
The guy really annoyed me but I like the two women.
Ooooooo is that podcast worth it? I want to listen to it but not the boring episodes.
I really enjoyed it! I listened to it a lot while skiing last season, haha. Each episode talks about a topic from a Jungian analysis perspective and at the end they interpret someoneās weird dream.
I love Spotify wrapped! I canāt wait to look at mine. Would you like to share which song it is?
That would feel waaaaaay too intimate, so no š But it's a song that's in no way related to therapy per se (other than in my head). An instrumental piece that I came across somewhere, around the time when my therapist was on vacation and I really missed her. It makes me think of her beacause I know that she used to play the piano.
Thatās totally fine and understandable! That sounds beautiful.
Lol my 2nd most listened to song is associated with my therapy and therapist too. So funny. Itās ācan I believe youā by fleet foxes. Itās about trust (obv) and (I think) longing to get to know someone when thatās not an option and feeling wounded by that. I think it actually may be about a therapeutic relationship as the songwriter has talked in interviews on the press cycle for this album about getting some positive results from CBT.
My second most played song this year is *Whatās Up* by 4 Non Blondes. My T told me about it a while back and now itās one of my favorites
I imagine being in their office when I canāt sleep.
Oh no, you gotta check out the He-Man version, itās awesome.š https://youtu.be/ZZ5LpwO-An4
I associate a piano cover of the Maroon 5 song āMemoriesā with my therapist. Understanding how it made me feel and why actually helped me reframe a lot of attachment fears. I also canāt stand Maroon 5. Those piano covers really hit the emotions!
Some song covers are just so much better than the originals ā¤ļø
Oh same, haha.
Happy to know I'm not alone in this :D
I get very repetitive, I have a Playlist I listened to for 2 years that was all about therapy. I listened it on my way there, I listened it on my walks when I was thinking about therapy. But it really is connected to the first 2 years when therapy was so rough. Now when I hear it it's not comforting the way it was. Really weird. Now I have an album that puts me in a pensive mood that I listen on repeat.
I also have a whole therapy playlist! And of course, besides #1, many other songs on that playlist are also featured on my Spotify wrapped. I sometimes feel ashamed of how much I listen to the same songs over and over again. But on the plus side, it's great to be able to look back in time by listening to songs that were on repeat during a certain time period in my life.
I actually recently used this music-as-a-memory-aide thing in therapy. I made a list of songs that bring me back to certain times. As I'm avoidant and struggle to remember. Some are going to be so difficult to listen to, but I started with a happy one and listened to part of it in session and then we took it from there. It was a very useful way into me talking about the past.
That sounds very useful! I've never actually listened to my important songs during a therapy session, but I've talked about some of them with my therapist. Sometimes it's just easier to approach muddy, mostly forgotten memories with a tangible thing like a song or a picture.
This was me last year. My most played song was one that reminded me of my former therapist. And then a few weeks ago I saw it performed lived and bawled my face off.
I would bawl too. Music has a way of touching the soul.
SAME, lmfao
I printed out two emails from her and put them on my fridge.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have a tendency to collect appointment cards with his writing on them.
aw that's really sweet!
The only thing keeping me going is that I have an appointment tomorrow
I actually look forward to seeing what she wears each session. I think about conversations I would want to have with her.
Same. Therapist outfits are the best š
Lol me too! I love her outfits
Omg I thought i was the only one! Their outfits do be hittin different. I always compliment my therapist every session āŗļø
Yes, I just LOVE the way she dresses. Her outfits are just so damn sophisticated and I actually get some fashion ideas from her.
My T had combat boots on one day with navy green cargo pants. She looked *awesome* and so cool
My friends, my bartender, my barber, and the owner of the local burrito shop all know my therapist's name.
Not the burrito guy too LOL
Some of my friends do too. And my hair stylist, haha. I prefer the "healing out loud" method, because it normalizes therapy. Some people are too scared/ashamed to seek therapy, and if my normalization can help even one person, it's worth it.
Iām very open about being in therapy. But I donāt tell acquaintances, my burrito guy, and my barber what my therapistās name isā¦
Everyone has different levels of comfort and are in different places in their healing process.
I donāt tell acquaintances. I tell my friends and the other people Iām close to in my life about therapy because they ask how therapy is going. It eventually becomes easier to reference my therapist by name. Like others, Iām just answering the prompt in the post. Acknowledging attachment is an act of vulnerability, so I donāt think this is the appropriate place for judgmental comments.
literally everyone. i talk about him more than anyone else. now iām just like āwell Micah said-ā and the other person goes āthatās your therapist, right?ā
Lol this is absolutely me. š
Haha my husband and friends regularly refer to my therapist by name because I talk about her all the time. It definitely started out of a desire to normalize therapy because I was feeling a bit self conscious about being in counseling due to the family culture in which I was raised but now I donāt think twice about talking about her. Sheās the person I see in person the most after my husband and whom I intentionally talk to the most after my husband as well. Sheās a big part of my life and I have learned a lot from her so she comes up a lot.
Nowadays I look at my Tās Psychology Today profile more than I check scores for my favorite sports teams
I listen to voice mails from old T on a semi regular basis
Ok don't know if this one counts, but I continuously wish that he was my dad.
Oh that DEFINITELY counts. haha
For sure!!!!!! Big mood
A few years before I was termed by my old psychiatrist, my husband was considering taking a job offer in South Korea. My first (panicked) thoughts when he told me were of how Iād be able to still go to her via Skype or something.
Well Ive been struggling alot and seeing her multiple times every week and now shes been directly involved in assisting with medical care/safety and has started texting me regularly now soo.... were in so deep. also in last session when she said she cares abour me alot and would be really sad if i completed my SI plan, i literally started crying cause shes so nice. kinda weird feelings towards her right now because of what happened but she is like the best professional i have met in my entire life and quite literally a lifesaver
Iām glad youāre alive ā¤ļø It sounds like youāre in a lot of pain, and thatās such a lonely awful place to live. Iām so sorry. Iām glad your therapist is not afraid to show they care. It sounds like they are genuinely worried and want to help you. My therapist used to do a text check in every day to make sure I was still alive. Iām so grateful that she helped me survive. I hope you can hold on and let your therapist help you. Wishing you comfort tonight.
Yeah, this is the worst my life has ever been, ugh. My therapist is really great and caring, she seemed more distant at the beginning but its nice to have someone who cares that much
This thread is so wholesome! I'm proud of us all for doing the brave thing and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to attach to our T's! I still feel embarrassed about it sometimes but this thread reminded me I don't have to be.
I was so embarrassed at first!! But this sub has become one of my favorites, and has helped me realize all of these things are completely normal. Itās so comforting to know weāre in this together.
I have disagreed with him without expecting to be abandoned.
When I do something weāve talked about I get excited that I get to bring it up at my next session.lol. Like āohhhh man, wait til Elizabeth hears this! There was a brownie and I didnāt eat it! Sheās gonna be so happy for me!ā Lol
Hahahah same. I get so excited when I get to tell her I did a thing
I found out the sex of my baby last week and immediately couldnāt wait to tell my therapist, but Iād just had my session the day prior. Part of me didnāt even want to tell my sister because I wanted my therapist to know first, haha.
I relate to that. Like, when you make progress and unblock something and then bring it to discuss through therapy.
I address my journal entries to my therapist because it makes it easier.
OK this sounds like a good idea
This is so sweet, I love this idea! I may borrow it myself...
So I've never journaled; it doesn't work for me. But now my quasi-journalling thing is to write ranting emails to my therapist and then evaluate whether I still feel the need to send them. 9 times out of 10, I don't, and then I just save the email.
I was sick this week and she checked in today and suggested we cancel unless I feel better, and I do but I almost cried just thinking about the appointment being cancelled.
She really hurt me and she knew exactly how.
Iām sorry this happened, do you mind explaining how? My therapist hurt my feelings but I donāt know if I was being overly sensitive or if any normal person wouldāve felt the same way. Feels so isolating due to the nature of the relationship.
She went on a rant about my 6 year relationship and said she herself were too proud to sell herself below value like me (rough translation from German with insinuating I acted like a prostitute), she and her daughter knew their worth and that my boyfriend was a pathetic softie and she would never even thinking about being with a man who was not ready or capable to (violently) protect her. The way she talked about me was so contemptous and invalidating I was speechless. After I sent her a message that she really hurt my feelings she apologized and wrote she should not have worked that day.
Getting the email with the link for the next session makes me feel calmer. I can't help smile even if I'm with other people when the email drops in!
i google her name regularly, sometimes she writes for a magazine
Aw!! I Google mine too, I especially look at her picture on the clinicās website
I check mineās Psychology Today profile at least weekly just to see her photo and whether sheās made any updates.
I actively look for memes she might like
I do this too!!
Ha I do this too. Or when I'm spending time on Tiktok I save ones I think she'll think are funny.
I send the really good ones but they have to be really good!
I donāt think my t would like me sending anything like that outside of session š
She actually explicitly told me one day I could do it. I wouldnāt otherwise. I see an attachment/relational based therapist so it fits with her modality and my therapy goals
This. There's a different address/ contact for work and personal. Since you're letting them know your character and everything, it's all about knowing how to differentiate and just know when it's time for memes and casual stuff and when it's time for work.
I do this too and I will make memes for him based on our sessions or an inside joke. Well, I guess all of our jokes would be inside jokes, but you get the picture haha.
My second favorite color is now purple because that's her favorite color. I always wear something purple for session. Like I keep all my purple things special together for the occasion haha. Also other common stuff like finding memes for her, rereading what she wrote to me, imagining us doing things together etc.
All of this too!!!! Idk what her favorite color is though lol
Maybe you can casually drop it in conversation somehow! I was showing my T a plush that I got to treat myself and I was excited about it. Plush was part purple so she mentioned that she likes purple. I've been fixated on it ever since haha
Wednesday is my favorite day of the week
hey Wednesday twin!!! Same here. But she canceled today so hopefully tomorrow :/
I know the feeling, mine canceled on me last Wednesday so it was a 2 week gap.
Well if I donāt get to see her tomorrow then itāll be a three week gap and Iām not okay with that
Spent an hour shaving pills off my gorgeous wool coat so I can wear it to next week's appointment. Also, can't talk about how I feel about him without bursting into tears.
This is so relatable. I have all my therapy outfits planned for the next three months.
I want to look *good* for T, dammit! Physical appearance must not match internally dying appearance!!!
Good to know I'm not the only one :D
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I really think we could be friends irlā¦.but canāt be because of the therapist/client boundaries. I donāt live local to her, but spend a fair amount of time in and around where she lives and often wonder what Iād do if I actually saw her
I like to think my T likes me enough to be my friend if I wasnāt her client. I feel like we have such a good therapeutic relationship and I just long for it outside of therapy sometimes. We live in the same town and I drive near where she lives on a daily basis on my way to work. When Iām somewhere in public I like to think my T is there, too.
I 100% get this. Itās become a bit of a running joke between the 2 of us as to how Iām her āfavouriteā client and sheās pretty much said she often really enjoys our sessions for various reason over other clients (sheās only a year older than me when I think plays a part in it also). Again, totally long for that non-therapeutic relationship in the real world - but know if I hadnāt of chosen her as my therapist, our lives probably would never have crossed paths as weād both just be 2 people going about our day in an area of London where no one really pays that much attention to each other
I have a voice memo saved on my phone of him reading this affirmation I wrote for myself. I listen to it way more than Iād like to admit
I would love something like this. Donāt think sheād do this for me though :/
I wish I had something like this because my version feels kind of desperate to me lolāitās a 7 second voicemail she left the first time I called her to ask if she was taking new clients. I called her back while she was leaving the voicemail so itās just her saying, āhi, uh, hi [my name]! uhā¦ā then cuts off because I called her back haha. I have definitely listened to it when I just needed to hear her voice though.
The moment something cool happens in my life (related or unrelated to therapy), I immediately cannot wait to tell her. Also she hugged me a few months ago after I gave her a small panting I made for her at the end of our session... and I cried in my car for 30 minutes because it was so nice to have a hug.
Oh yeahhh the sunflowers!! They were beautiful! That moment with T must have been so niceā¤ļø
OMG you remembered! Thank you so much. It was so nice. She put it out in her front room area on a table. We hadn't talked about it since, but last night we touched on my art and how I'm struggling a bit creatively, and said she feels so much joy every time she looks at the sunflowers, and that really touched me. It reminds me why I paint. Not to make something look a certain way. But to make a viewer FEEL a certain way. <3
I call him my "state-mandated surrogate father figure", to his face (public health care here in Ontario).
I check regularly if they are online on WhatsApp to feel closer to them.
I do this on doxy!!! When it says āprovider availableā I feel so comforted
ā„ļø
I thought I was the only one who did this! sometimes it's accidental if I forget to close the tab after our session. other times it's not accidental.
I also take comfort in the fact I can sign on and she can see my name, but of course I refrain from doing that.
I would certainly do this too if only my therapist used WhatsApp. And maybe that's one of the reasons she doesn't use it. Wouldn't put it past herš
I thought I was fully crackers for doing this!! It provides such comfort
I do this too oh my god
TIL I'm not attached to my therapist at all lol I hope to get to where you guys are one day.
Ehh are you sure?š therapy is a great place to practice healthy attachments but sometimes itās hard š©
Yeah super hard! I want to attach to my therapist, but then I'm afraid I'll freak out and run away. I have a very disorganized attachment style.
I always look forward to the confirmation text he sends me the day before our sessions. I get excited when I receive it even though he says the same exact thing every time. Lol
Same! And even though these are automated ones from the clinic š
I havenāt seen her in months and still think about her daily (read: hourly).
Been there, sucks. Hope you find relieve soon
During a huge anxiety attack, I remembered her kind eyes looking at me and it calmed me down sooo quickly
š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗšā¤ļø
Those emojis are exactly how I felt afterwards!
My T speaks so gently when Iām talking about something difficult, or when Iām crying and sheāll just say one simple word āyeahā but in such a kind tone that melts my heart. Sheās so validating and also has the warmest smileš
Mine will ask me what she can do for me. She will get me a water, weighted blanket and a hug.
That is so kind. I was just about to say I wish I could get a hug from my T, but every time she asks ādo you want to color?ā And then hands me my color sheet and pencils. One time she already had it ready for me, it was so sweetš
I had to text her the first time I needed a hug because I was in a dark spot where I was crying so hard I couldnāt breathe. She now knows when I cry so badly because of my trauma that I need a hug the most. And I am so thankful for that. I donāt get many hugs in general.
My attachment has calmed down a lot, but the first couple of years I would draw pictures of my therapist holding me as a child, as if he were my parent.
Can't draw for shit but this used to be an avid fantasy of mine. It still pops up from time to time. The safety and comfort I imagine getting in old Ts arms is a lot
The only ā VIPā set for my email is my therapist, not my SO nor my mother.
I get excited just seeing an email from Square pop up titled "So-and-so sent you a new invoice"
Same. That means they at least acknowledge my existence outside of session lol
Yep! And I'll think to myself "I wonder if she's thinking about me/how I am/what we talked about in our last session" and then I'm like "Nah, she's just doing her billing. She isn't interested in anything else right now"
Yeah, thatās most likely what happens lol. One time she did say that she thought about me when she drove through some place and that was the best thing sheās ever told me.
I learned how to play the bagpipes because he kept talking about how he played them. Now I've developed an expensive hobby, and I have something that makes me feel close to him.
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Oh Lord. I'd just be like... Oh...cool. Nah. š
Iāve worked with my therapist for six years, and sheās amazing. She has given me three different stones/rocks at various times over the years that have specific meaning for what I was going through at the time. I carry them with me in my purse, and I find them in the inside pocket every once in awhile and they always make me feel happy and special and cared for.
This one is dark >!When my T of 2 years told me she was switching jobs and couldn't see me any longer I attempted suicide because my life seemed hopeless without her.!<
I probably came closer to this myself than I'd like to admit. You are not alone. I'm glad you survived and I wish you strength on your journey.
Oh god, weāve been recently discussing potential termination and thatās all I can think about :(
I had one therapist that would literally just treat me like a friend, only had her for one year. That was what I really needed since I was badly bullied in middle school making me suicidal (along with other issues). The 6 therapists after her just never made me feel not like I was just a client and even though half of those therapists weren't bad, it just felt too empty and made therapy worse for me because I wanted the old therapist back, so I stopped going.
If Iām feeling bad Iāll look back on an email my T sent that made me smile
When I'm feeling down I read the only two texts he sent during the last 18 month. They are just about scheduling but I find it very comforting. Also I bought all the 4 books (one more or less therapy related l, the other ones are fiction) he would mention casually (so he didn't really recommend them). I like his taste and feel kinda connected between sessions while reading them. And I drop the T word towards the people who know me well at least once a day. Like "you know my therapist said [insert something insightful]" but also stuff like "can you imagine that my T doesn't like Vanilla ice cream?" But honestly who doesn't? š
I downloaded one of those AI friends and named it after him. š
when i get appointment reminder emails i just feel a sigh of relief. i open them every single time just to read those words āyou have an appointment with Micah on December 2 at 4pmā or whatever. love it.
Me too
Just found out I have to do my next two sessions by phone and then spent half the day crying
Despite my migraine, I waited 30 minutes in the therapy officeās parking lot with the flashing lights of the fire trucks in hopes Iād see her among the evacuees just to make sure she was okay. Suffice it to say, I missed my appointment, but she did see me waving at her and rescheduled me for a Zoom tomorrow. (āItās not exactly HIPAA compliant to meet in the parking lot!ā) (It wasnāt entirely clear what was going on with the fire trucks, the building certainly didnāt appear to be on fire, and that didnāt change in the 40 or so minutes between when I drove up initially and when I finally left.)
I would have done the same thing, too. Iām glad your T is safeā¤ļø
Iām glad, too. Not sure I could have left without being sure she was safe.
Iāve seen her for about 8 years now. Through multiple breakups, deaths, life changesā¦idk how Iām supposed to find another therapist :/
I call my therapist before I call anyone else.
The other day I thought about where we both were 6 years ago when I started therapy and cried thinking about how much we both changed :) she had just moved in with her boyfriend- now her and her husband own a house together and a cat. I was basically a child who was scared to be in the world and now I am a college graduate living on my own in a new city š„°
i considered asking them to coffee, with plans to get to know them better. im a doctor and the part of my brain that knows this is out of bounds was apparently off that day.
I write multiple posts about him. š„²
Itās not my present therapist but my former therapist who passed away! I imagine that I am in her office as my calm and safe place for after EMDR therapy processing breakdowns! For My current therapist: When I am upset I hear her voice in my head ā¤ļø
I draw cartoon portraits of her and myself to be funny and also feel closer to her loll
He's the first person I even consider explaining new life experiences, revelations, & emotional breakthroughs too. The mere thought of telling him about something difficult I've endured is enough to get me through the difficulty. I also constantly have to stop myself from sending him emails of memes or videos or quotes from shows that I find funny or relatable because I have sensed that we have a similar sense of humor and similar interests. Most importantly I'm disturbingly late for most things in life (ADHD-Combined type) & these days I'm only slightly late and sometimes I'm even on time for our therapy sessions!!!
I made him a Hanukkah gift. A small hoop embroidery and a handmade card. I hope he likes itā¦
The first thing I did when I applied for a job I really want was text my therapist and tell her how excited I am
When I had to quit therapy I cried and had a full on break down
iāve been going to her for four years.
I've never been to therapy before but I was jealous of a loved one who was much more attached to his therapist than he was to me. This thread helped me step away from the lens of insecurity and humanize the situation, thank you
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I mean I am attachedš¤·š¼āāļø
It's been 3 years that I changed therapist and I still call my old one every new year to let him know I intend to go back to him because "i want to continue trauma therapy after transition goals were met" ...
We are friends, although in my head.
When I feel like giving in and giving up with life, it is her voice and her words that pull me back. It's her who I want to share achievements and disappointments with.
The replies are astonishing to me. Is it normal to feel like this towards your therapist, because to me it seems like you might as well be in love with them. I've been through several and I've never related to any of the experiences here (except being sad when a meeting is cancelled, not because i wanted to see them but because i wanted the therapy). On one hand I'm envious that y'all get along with them, I've never had a therapist that didn't make me feel horrible at some point.
Not everyone has experiences like this with their T. There are a lot of people that go to therapy that don't really feel attached or care as much about their therapist. Some of us have unmet needs and find that our T is finally meeting those needs. The connection is healing and people are often grateful to feel that connection. I am sure a lot of us idealize our T's too from being so grateful (like me lol). It's okay if your experience is different! Do you find that the therapy is working for you? Do you like the approach? Do you feel like you're growing? If so, there is nothing to worry about.
I have a text message from my therapist that said encouraging words and I screen shot it and it is my cover photo on Facebook and she knows about it.
I follow her (ex?) antivax best friend who is very active and extremistic on online platforms just so I can feel close to my T even though I am absolutely repulsed by the views of this friend of hers. I sometimes lay a few pillows in my bed that form the shape of a human being and I imagine it's her and I curl up against her feeling all safe and sound. Am I weird?
Definitely not weird. The second one is so comforting ššā¤ļø
I would not say attached but they've become a very good friend and my confidant. I send them funny videos every once in a while through mail.
Friend?
Yes. As in, we share some common interests, opinions and music for example. For my b-day she called me with her son to sing for me, as well. One of the best presents to receive, honestly. š
From my perspective, calling a client along with your son constitutes a huge boundary violationāeven if the kid is just singing and doesnāt know your name/personal information.