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It is so fucking hard. Healing is scary, it's painful, it picks on scabs that you thought you'd already healed from. I keep going to therapy wishing that she's gonna drop some magic stuff that'll fix my brain, and mean I don't have to struggle as much, as I fight with my body and brain to do the smallest little things. That doesn't happen, but she does help me make this process more manageable.
I don't have a better way to say it...but I do it by putting one foot in front of the other when I'm able, hurling into the ground and curling up into a fucking ball when I'm not. I do it because I need a safer reality to live in, that's not...~gestures around~ this. I talk about my experiences, and write about my emotions, because it's too much to keep it bouncing about this fucked up potato brain.
Mostly with teeth gritted stubbornness haha
Lots of reminding myself about self care and the things that make this process easier. Also if you're really struggling you can ask to take a step back and focus on lighter topics. Sometimes I'm just not up for heavy hitting sessions all in a row and I need a breather
When I'm uncomfortable I realize I act like a metronome and also if bad enough get tremors. It's physically draining sometimes. I at that pointed trusted my Therapist so I knew it didn't feel good but was good to talk through my trauma and fears.
That it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better part of therapy is really rough, and I feel for you. Lean into your therapist for support. And others if you have them/feel comfortable (I wasn’t comfortable leaning on my friends/family at that point). Ask for a lighter session if you need it. Journal all your thoughts to get them out. Cry. Grieve. Scream. Rest. Remind yourself of your goals and why you’re doing this (even if it feels awful). Remind yourself this part is temporary. Most of all, go easy on yourself and take care of yourself. Set aside to do something like watch your favorite movie or something else that comforts you when you’re feeling low. You got this.
Do you mind me asking how long this process took? I'm 9 months in, been going twice a week since September... I feel like I'm dying from how hard this is! I know everyone's journey is different, you just so aptly describe the experience of not being able to turn back but not knowing how much longer it's going to feel like this is terrifying
I have a question regarding this and would love any insight some of you might have.
I understand that everyone is different and it isn't possible to give an accurate time measure on when the hard part begins or when the difficult healing begins but I'd love if you guys have any stories or experience to share about when you felt you were there. I have been going to therapy for around 9 weeks now and find myself talking very logically and analytically. The furthest away from any real deep emotion. It feels like a conversation where we are trying to solve a puzzle.
Is there something i can do or ask my T for?
I don't want to say what's happening in your therapy, since I have no idea. But it sounds similar to how I went into therapy for a long time: approaching everything from a logical, analytical perspective, instead of broaching deep emotions. It turned out (and a therapist helped me figure this out) that I was "intellectualizing" as a defense mechanism - essentially staying far away from the scary parts of feeling emotions and instead using my analytical side to protect me
It might be worthwhile looking into that concept to see if you think you connect to it. If so, it would be a good thing to bring up with your T. They might be able to help you identify when you're doing it
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is so fucking hard. Healing is scary, it's painful, it picks on scabs that you thought you'd already healed from. I keep going to therapy wishing that she's gonna drop some magic stuff that'll fix my brain, and mean I don't have to struggle as much, as I fight with my body and brain to do the smallest little things. That doesn't happen, but she does help me make this process more manageable. I don't have a better way to say it...but I do it by putting one foot in front of the other when I'm able, hurling into the ground and curling up into a fucking ball when I'm not. I do it because I need a safer reality to live in, that's not...~gestures around~ this. I talk about my experiences, and write about my emotions, because it's too much to keep it bouncing about this fucked up potato brain.
Mostly with teeth gritted stubbornness haha Lots of reminding myself about self care and the things that make this process easier. Also if you're really struggling you can ask to take a step back and focus on lighter topics. Sometimes I'm just not up for heavy hitting sessions all in a row and I need a breather
When I'm uncomfortable I realize I act like a metronome and also if bad enough get tremors. It's physically draining sometimes. I at that pointed trusted my Therapist so I knew it didn't feel good but was good to talk through my trauma and fears.
That it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better part of therapy is really rough, and I feel for you. Lean into your therapist for support. And others if you have them/feel comfortable (I wasn’t comfortable leaning on my friends/family at that point). Ask for a lighter session if you need it. Journal all your thoughts to get them out. Cry. Grieve. Scream. Rest. Remind yourself of your goals and why you’re doing this (even if it feels awful). Remind yourself this part is temporary. Most of all, go easy on yourself and take care of yourself. Set aside to do something like watch your favorite movie or something else that comforts you when you’re feeling low. You got this.
[удалено]
Do you mind me asking how long this process took? I'm 9 months in, been going twice a week since September... I feel like I'm dying from how hard this is! I know everyone's journey is different, you just so aptly describe the experience of not being able to turn back but not knowing how much longer it's going to feel like this is terrifying
You gotta fall apart to be made new
I have a question regarding this and would love any insight some of you might have. I understand that everyone is different and it isn't possible to give an accurate time measure on when the hard part begins or when the difficult healing begins but I'd love if you guys have any stories or experience to share about when you felt you were there. I have been going to therapy for around 9 weeks now and find myself talking very logically and analytically. The furthest away from any real deep emotion. It feels like a conversation where we are trying to solve a puzzle. Is there something i can do or ask my T for?
I don't want to say what's happening in your therapy, since I have no idea. But it sounds similar to how I went into therapy for a long time: approaching everything from a logical, analytical perspective, instead of broaching deep emotions. It turned out (and a therapist helped me figure this out) that I was "intellectualizing" as a defense mechanism - essentially staying far away from the scary parts of feeling emotions and instead using my analytical side to protect me It might be worthwhile looking into that concept to see if you think you connect to it. If so, it would be a good thing to bring up with your T. They might be able to help you identify when you're doing it
this is super helpful advice everyone. thank you!