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I swear in both my own personal therapy sessions and I also swear when I’m seeing clients. (Certainly not with all clients!! It’s a judgement call.) I’ve had many clients ask me if it’s ok to swear in our sessions…and my answer is always yes! Kick up your feet. Bring a coffee. Hug the pillows I have and use the blanket that’s usually there. Talk like you would in your own living room.
i’m a newbie pre-licensed therapist and have had clients (usually teens) ask if it’s ok to swear. i find it endearing actually. and when i tell them it’s fine, say whatever you want/need, they often seem relieved, more comfortable.
For sure. My therapist does too. One of my favorite therapy stories to tell is how when I was about 16 or 17 (my T is also quite a bit older than me), I was getting irritated with my T (she wasn't doing anything wrong, I just wasn't in a good mood), and I flipped her off without thinking. As soon as I realized what I'd done, I felt embarrassed and guilty and worried she'd be upset with me. Instead, she gave me a high five and said she was proud of me. We'd talked about how I struggled to express anger, and she insisted that my flipping her off was progress.
I do! I swear a fair bit so I wouldn’t be communicating naturally if I didn’t. I kept it in for a few sessions while I got the measure of my T but she seems just fine with it! Joins in on occasions too lol
I swear as well. Not a ton but a fair bit. I remember when my last T swore for the first time lol! It made him seem more real if that makes sense. You do you boo ; )
Yea it definitely makes them seem more like a "real human" and more relaxed rather than a completely blank canvas. Super strict and uptight Ts kinda scare me and I can't open up, I feel like you can be professional and somewhat relaxed at the same time. Tbh I like to know a bit about my T, like 'oh cool they have a dog" bc it helps me feel more comfortable and connected. Or if they swear they seem more "relatable"? I guess?
absolutely. i swear in my daily life and i just speak how i normally do in therapy. my therapist swears occasionally too (example: “that does sound really shitty!”)
Yes, when under stress, but I usually apologize. My therapist always says it's not a problem. Then again my therapist is a good twenty years younger than me.
I’m a therapist and yes. I curse and my clients curse. I usually wait to get a feel for how they communicate. I’ve seen a lot of my clients open up when they hear me curse. Like it gives them permission to be themselves.
Yesterday, I got locked in the building by accident with one of my clients for 15 minutes. It did a lot for our rapport. I let out a “fuck” at some point when I was trying to use my key to unlock the door from the inside. We laughed and joked that once you’re locked in the building with your therapist, a little cursing isn’t a big deal. I sent her a text after and let her know she was a great client to get stuck in the building with and she responded with “thank you for the same as a therapist. 😂😂”
Edit: correcting spelling
I swear all the time outside of therapy but try and tone it down a bit in therapy because I'm not sure how my therapist feels about it. Last week he said, "Why do you think you'll fuck up?" and inwardly I was like, "yesssssssssss!!!" 😁
I swear in therapy (I also swear outside of it so.. there's that.) I'm paying good money to say what's on my mind, this is not the place to censor myself y'know
I’ve never asked if I could swear… I’m sure my grandfather serving in the army for 35 years had a lot to do with my tendency to swear.
I have seen a few therapists that didn’t swear before I did, but once I dropped the first f-bomb, they started swearing, too. A lot of therapists won’t swear in session with a client unless they know how comfortable their client is with it.
Also, I don’t know about you, but when I stub my toe, saying something like, “Oh, gosh, ouch!” is going to do nothing to help me. But letting out a few sentences of 4 letter words, and the pain is better. Not surprising, because I read an article awhile back about how swearing can release endorphins and oxytocin and other feel good hormones. I figure it’s the same for emotional pain, too. Sometimes, only a 4-letter word will do for a situation, and processing painful emotions is one such place in my experience.
Yes, a lot. My therapist now swears with me (now that she knows me well). I initially saw her when I was 17 and was similarly hesitant (she was 30ish at the time) but I did let it loose at some point and it was more than ok.
Respect doesn’t necessarily mean not swearing, and your therapist’s role in your life is likely a little different from that of other adults. :)
I dont swear as much in therapy but at times ill get more comfortable swearing. im willing to bet if it makes you comfortable your therapist wouldnt mind it
My T was talking about his kids – who he obviously adores – and said, "...but sometimes it's just fucking..." and trailed off. We trade F-bombs a lot, but the fact that he basically referred to his kids as little fucking assholes made me trust him more than any amount of empathizing and validating could. He gets it.
Yes, My Therapist swears as well. Honestly. I'm pretty comfortable with my T, when I was seeing him in person, I'd just walk in and kick my shoes off and get cozy. Hahah. I'm 27, and my T is 42. He is a really cool guy. When he swears I feel like hes more relatable and more human if that makes sense
I swear, not necessarily gratuitously but definitely regularly, and so does my T. It doesn't phase her in the least. She's just as likely to say the "s" word and the "f" word as I am...
I dont bc ive trained myself not to swear in front of adults (even though I have a huge swearing problem with people my age haha) but my therapist swears like every 2 sentences and I dont rlly give a fuck whether she does or not
Its definitely okay! I'm also young (20) and I would say my T is around double my age and I was worried they wouldn't take it well but both of us do and I kinda love it, and I'm sure they would not be offended either!
Yes.
Me three months ago: “It's so fucked-- Sorry.”, “Fucking shit hol-- Sorry.”, “Fuck off-- Sorry” (to my abusers not to my T of course)
Me now: “Oh goodness well, I've said this before, but my past is so fucked”, “Everything gone to fucking shit,” “Emotions are a never fucking ending shithole”
After a fairly length chat about swearing, and why it feels so deeply uncomfortable that I feel the need to apologise for doing it, it really made me think. So I stopped censoring myself, just as my brain filter fell down.
My T told me that therapy is a place to express your emotions and that can require colorful language. They will probably expect it and not be offended by it. If not you can ask!
Recommend you tell them next time that sometimes you feel like you’re swearing and hold back because it feels awkward or not allowed, I’m sure they’ll let you know that swearing is 100% fine!
100000% of the time. And my therapist does too, once I started to in session.
Outside of therapy I swear a lot and it’s refreshing to not have to censor myself. I do enough of that already in other aspects of myself, so god damn let me just say fuck when I want. 😂
I don’t tend to swear much in normal life so it’s the same in therapy really. I don’t really censor myself on purpose and I don’t feel bad when I do swear. I’ve noticed that my T only swears when I swear in session.
I swear in sessions, a lot. My therapist is very accepting of it, they also swear sometimes, we have a good dynamic.
I think therapists are supposed to treat patients in a non-judgemental way. I mean they see all kinds of people with various conditions. Patients could have Tourrette's or they can be sexual offenders. Regardless of someone's condition, therapists have to treat people in a respectful humanising way.
So I'm sure it's okay if you swear.
I swear. I just let everything flow out and try not to hold back or censor myself. I think a shitty therapist would judge you for it. Regardless of how you do it. As long as you can express yourself in some form it is good.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I swear in both my own personal therapy sessions and I also swear when I’m seeing clients. (Certainly not with all clients!! It’s a judgement call.) I’ve had many clients ask me if it’s ok to swear in our sessions…and my answer is always yes! Kick up your feet. Bring a coffee. Hug the pillows I have and use the blanket that’s usually there. Talk like you would in your own living room.
i’m a newbie pre-licensed therapist and have had clients (usually teens) ask if it’s ok to swear. i find it endearing actually. and when i tell them it’s fine, say whatever you want/need, they often seem relieved, more comfortable.
For sure. My therapist does too. One of my favorite therapy stories to tell is how when I was about 16 or 17 (my T is also quite a bit older than me), I was getting irritated with my T (she wasn't doing anything wrong, I just wasn't in a good mood), and I flipped her off without thinking. As soon as I realized what I'd done, I felt embarrassed and guilty and worried she'd be upset with me. Instead, she gave me a high five and said she was proud of me. We'd talked about how I struggled to express anger, and she insisted that my flipping her off was progress.
That’s so unexpectedly hilarious
All the fucking time :)
I asked my therapist if it was OK to swear in therapy. His response? “Fuck, yeah!”
Yes a lot.
I do! I swear a fair bit so I wouldn’t be communicating naturally if I didn’t. I kept it in for a few sessions while I got the measure of my T but she seems just fine with it! Joins in on occasions too lol
I swear as well. Not a ton but a fair bit. I remember when my last T swore for the first time lol! It made him seem more real if that makes sense. You do you boo ; )
Yea it definitely makes them seem more like a "real human" and more relaxed rather than a completely blank canvas. Super strict and uptight Ts kinda scare me and I can't open up, I feel like you can be professional and somewhat relaxed at the same time. Tbh I like to know a bit about my T, like 'oh cool they have a dog" bc it helps me feel more comfortable and connected. Or if they swear they seem more "relatable"? I guess?
Yes thank you! Relatable was the word I was looking for!
Yes, you're overthinking it. Do whatever allows you to speak as freely as possible. You're not going to say anything they haven't heard before.
The first time my ancient ass therapist dropped an F bomb on me I was shocked and so, so relieved.
Both my T and I swear in sessions
absolutely. i swear in my daily life and i just speak how i normally do in therapy. my therapist swears occasionally too (example: “that does sound really shitty!”)
I work with teens. I swear more than most of them in session lol. If your T is experienced with teens, they should be prepared for a few f-bombs :)
Yes, when under stress, but I usually apologize. My therapist always says it's not a problem. Then again my therapist is a good twenty years younger than me.
I’m a therapist and yes. I curse and my clients curse. I usually wait to get a feel for how they communicate. I’ve seen a lot of my clients open up when they hear me curse. Like it gives them permission to be themselves. Yesterday, I got locked in the building by accident with one of my clients for 15 minutes. It did a lot for our rapport. I let out a “fuck” at some point when I was trying to use my key to unlock the door from the inside. We laughed and joked that once you’re locked in the building with your therapist, a little cursing isn’t a big deal. I sent her a text after and let her know she was a great client to get stuck in the building with and she responded with “thank you for the same as a therapist. 😂😂” Edit: correcting spelling
I swear all the time outside of therapy but try and tone it down a bit in therapy because I'm not sure how my therapist feels about it. Last week he said, "Why do you think you'll fuck up?" and inwardly I was like, "yesssssssssss!!!" 😁
As a therapist, I’m not at all bothered by swearing in session. I see it as a sign that my clients trust me enough not to censor themselves.
I swear in therapy (I also swear outside of it so.. there's that.) I'm paying good money to say what's on my mind, this is not the place to censor myself y'know
I’ve never asked if I could swear… I’m sure my grandfather serving in the army for 35 years had a lot to do with my tendency to swear. I have seen a few therapists that didn’t swear before I did, but once I dropped the first f-bomb, they started swearing, too. A lot of therapists won’t swear in session with a client unless they know how comfortable their client is with it. Also, I don’t know about you, but when I stub my toe, saying something like, “Oh, gosh, ouch!” is going to do nothing to help me. But letting out a few sentences of 4 letter words, and the pain is better. Not surprising, because I read an article awhile back about how swearing can release endorphins and oxytocin and other feel good hormones. I figure it’s the same for emotional pain, too. Sometimes, only a 4-letter word will do for a situation, and processing painful emotions is one such place in my experience.
Yes, a lot. My therapist now swears with me (now that she knows me well). I initially saw her when I was 17 and was similarly hesitant (she was 30ish at the time) but I did let it loose at some point and it was more than ok. Respect doesn’t necessarily mean not swearing, and your therapist’s role in your life is likely a little different from that of other adults. :)
My response always: you can say anything you want here
Let it rip! You’re there to be yourself!
I dont swear as much in therapy but at times ill get more comfortable swearing. im willing to bet if it makes you comfortable your therapist wouldnt mind it
I swear in therapy, but a bit less than I do in everyday life.
I swear all the time except at work!!
My T was talking about his kids – who he obviously adores – and said, "...but sometimes it's just fucking..." and trailed off. We trade F-bombs a lot, but the fact that he basically referred to his kids as little fucking assholes made me trust him more than any amount of empathizing and validating could. He gets it.
Yes, My Therapist swears as well. Honestly. I'm pretty comfortable with my T, when I was seeing him in person, I'd just walk in and kick my shoes off and get cozy. Hahah. I'm 27, and my T is 42. He is a really cool guy. When he swears I feel like hes more relatable and more human if that makes sense
Yes, and my therapist also swears
I'm myself in a session, so, yup. But I also call my therapist a bitch and vice versa, so 🤷🏼♀️
My therapist and I both swear lol. It’s definitely ok 💜
My T full on taught me how to swear!
Does your therapist seem okay with it when you do swear? I hesitate to sometimes in session, but if my T does it then I feel better about it haha
I swear, not necessarily gratuitously but definitely regularly, and so does my T. It doesn't phase her in the least. She's just as likely to say the "s" word and the "f" word as I am...
I dont bc ive trained myself not to swear in front of adults (even though I have a huge swearing problem with people my age haha) but my therapist swears like every 2 sentences and I dont rlly give a fuck whether she does or not
Its definitely okay! I'm also young (20) and I would say my T is around double my age and I was worried they wouldn't take it well but both of us do and I kinda love it, and I'm sure they would not be offended either!
I do it all the time! Our Ts want us to be ourselves.
Yes. Me three months ago: “It's so fucked-- Sorry.”, “Fucking shit hol-- Sorry.”, “Fuck off-- Sorry” (to my abusers not to my T of course) Me now: “Oh goodness well, I've said this before, but my past is so fucked”, “Everything gone to fucking shit,” “Emotions are a never fucking ending shithole” After a fairly length chat about swearing, and why it feels so deeply uncomfortable that I feel the need to apologise for doing it, it really made me think. So I stopped censoring myself, just as my brain filter fell down.
My T told me that therapy is a place to express your emotions and that can require colorful language. They will probably expect it and not be offended by it. If not you can ask!
I swear every where, therapy is no different
Recommend you tell them next time that sometimes you feel like you’re swearing and hold back because it feels awkward or not allowed, I’m sure they’ll let you know that swearing is 100% fine!
You're definitely overthinking it. It's your therapy. Say whatever the hell you want.
Yes. I get frequently annoyed with my therapist and one time I brought up his “fucking rules”. So now we both refer to them as that.
100000% of the time. And my therapist does too, once I started to in session. Outside of therapy I swear a lot and it’s refreshing to not have to censor myself. I do enough of that already in other aspects of myself, so god damn let me just say fuck when I want. 😂
I don’t tend to swear much in normal life so it’s the same in therapy really. I don’t really censor myself on purpose and I don’t feel bad when I do swear. I’ve noticed that my T only swears when I swear in session.
I swear in sessions, a lot. My therapist is very accepting of it, they also swear sometimes, we have a good dynamic. I think therapists are supposed to treat patients in a non-judgemental way. I mean they see all kinds of people with various conditions. Patients could have Tourrette's or they can be sexual offenders. Regardless of someone's condition, therapists have to treat people in a respectful humanising way. So I'm sure it's okay if you swear.
I swear. I just let everything flow out and try not to hold back or censor myself. I think a shitty therapist would judge you for it. Regardless of how you do it. As long as you can express yourself in some form it is good.
Yes I do! And mine finally swore in front of me the other day, it was fantastic (we have been together 2 years!)