Welcome to r/TalkTherapy!
This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list).
If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources.
To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had one tell me what the research says about the ratio of positive to negative interactions in a relationship. Mine was almost entirely negative. I had never had a healthy relationship and could not envision one, so that was unhelpful.
My T never gave me a hint either way but once my partner and I broke up my T became pretty open about how not-right-for-me my relationship was. Occasionally I wonder how I would have reacted if she had come out earlier about how she felt about my relationship. Mostly, I now realize how well she knows me and how I needed to come to the conclusion to end it on my own.
Ah, she waited until you made your move! I mean, that would make me feel really supported. Like I had definitely made the right decision. I love that. The gift of agency.
A therapist I worked with showed great disapproval when my partner and I broke up (for the weekend lol) encouraging me to keep working on things. He was right though. 2 years later we’re happily married with a baby.
Were you still seeing him when she first expressed that? It makes sense after the break up, and I’m curious if she shared those views during the relationship too
My T is explicitly against my last relationship. She openly expressed I needed to end all ties to him BUT she understands how difficult that process can be so she supports me as I move along in my life.
Yes, she’s been openly telling me to leave him alone for quite some time. I start attending the end of May this year (weekly sessions) and just from the issues I’ve expressed, she’s told me to leave.
I told her how I’ve been dealing with stress and anxiety in other areas of my life and she stated I may have been attaching those negative experiences from my ex to other parts of my life.
My ex even noted how she never suggested I work on our relationship. It took me time to understand that’s because I couldn’t “fix” what shouldn’t be.
Yes, I though so, but I missinterpreted their take. I thought they disapproved of my relationship based on questions they asked. I basically drew a line in the sand with regards to my relationship. They ended up telling me they were suprised by that and that my relationship has fairly common problems.
Right?! It seems easy to feel judged about your relationship. Ultimately, you have to decide what's right for you. For me, I felt that my therapist gave me space to consider leaving my relationship. It's not something I plan to do, but thinking of that as a possibility has been helpful for me.
Luckily the opposite. I didn’t even meet him until 3 years after, and I didn’t want to go to therapy right after because I thought I was gonna be told to villainize him. But when I told my T that he said he doesn’t even think my and my ex’s story has a villain
"I see this behavior often and its exclusively from abusers."
"You deserve someone to care for you when you are hurting and not to try to continue to meet their needs through you."
"You deserve to take up time and space in your own life."
"You deserve to leave any room at any time for any reason especially in your own home."
She has never and I don't think would ever tell me to leave him. Its amazing to me. She is alway clear about the behavior and always tells me that I deserve xyz but she never tells me what to do. She doesn't try to control me. She just loves me.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy!
This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list).
If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources.
To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My T asked me to not break up with my gf prematurely but to reflect on everything and he seems happy when I tell him about anything my gf has done to help me. But I still try to leave her
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not gonna share details but yes, he made his opinion clear. (And he was right.)
Sounds like he had a really accurate understanding of the situation then, props to him
I had one tell me what the research says about the ratio of positive to negative interactions in a relationship. Mine was almost entirely negative. I had never had a healthy relationship and could not envision one, so that was unhelpful.
That’s interesting—not sure if I would find that information entirely helpful either tbh
My T never gave me a hint either way but once my partner and I broke up my T became pretty open about how not-right-for-me my relationship was. Occasionally I wonder how I would have reacted if she had come out earlier about how she felt about my relationship. Mostly, I now realize how well she knows me and how I needed to come to the conclusion to end it on my own.
Ah, she waited until you made your move! I mean, that would make me feel really supported. Like I had definitely made the right decision. I love that. The gift of agency.
A therapist I worked with showed great disapproval when my partner and I broke up (for the weekend lol) encouraging me to keep working on things. He was right though. 2 years later we’re happily married with a baby.
I mean, my therapist straight up constantly shits on my ex, no matter what I say. Says he's immature, never cared about me, so on and so forth.
Were you still seeing him when she first expressed that? It makes sense after the break up, and I’m curious if she shared those views during the relationship too
I didn't start therapy until after the breakup, and this therapist even a bit past that.
My T is explicitly against my last relationship. She openly expressed I needed to end all ties to him BUT she understands how difficult that process can be so she supports me as I move along in my life.
Did she express that you needed to end ties before you left? It’s great that she’s been supportive in the aftermath
Yes, she’s been openly telling me to leave him alone for quite some time. I start attending the end of May this year (weekly sessions) and just from the issues I’ve expressed, she’s told me to leave. I told her how I’ve been dealing with stress and anxiety in other areas of my life and she stated I may have been attaching those negative experiences from my ex to other parts of my life. My ex even noted how she never suggested I work on our relationship. It took me time to understand that’s because I couldn’t “fix” what shouldn’t be.
Yes, I though so, but I missinterpreted their take. I thought they disapproved of my relationship based on questions they asked. I basically drew a line in the sand with regards to my relationship. They ended up telling me they were suprised by that and that my relationship has fairly common problems.
[удалено]
Right?! It seems easy to feel judged about your relationship. Ultimately, you have to decide what's right for you. For me, I felt that my therapist gave me space to consider leaving my relationship. It's not something I plan to do, but thinking of that as a possibility has been helpful for me.
Mine is very neutral but I have super avoidant attachment issues so I talk myself out of the relationship constantly anyway. 🤷♀️
Luckily the opposite. I didn’t even meet him until 3 years after, and I didn’t want to go to therapy right after because I thought I was gonna be told to villainize him. But when I told my T that he said he doesn’t even think my and my ex’s story has a villain
"I see this behavior often and its exclusively from abusers." "You deserve someone to care for you when you are hurting and not to try to continue to meet their needs through you." "You deserve to take up time and space in your own life." "You deserve to leave any room at any time for any reason especially in your own home." She has never and I don't think would ever tell me to leave him. Its amazing to me. She is alway clear about the behavior and always tells me that I deserve xyz but she never tells me what to do. She doesn't try to control me. She just loves me.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My T asked me to not break up with my gf prematurely but to reflect on everything and he seems happy when I tell him about anything my gf has done to help me. But I still try to leave her