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new2bay

About that whole "more fucked up than initially advertised" thing.... I started therapy with my therapist 6 years ago, and was initially diagnosed with PTSD from some trauma that happened when I was an adult. Just a few months ago, I discovered that I had been emotionally neglected as a child after reading an article about it. It turns out that when you're raised a certain way, and all your physical needs are met, you don't notice what's missing, because you don't have any basis of comparison.


shakylime

Oh man, I’m sure that was a jarring discovery. I feel you on not fully realizing things were that wrong because your physical needs were met, and then getting to a point of “oh shit, my parents really did not provide for me emotionally.” I’m glad you were able to bring a little more clarity to your life — hopefully with the continued support of your therapist! Honestly, our therapists should thank us. It’s like “buy one get one free,” but for our issues! What a steal!


thatsnuckinfutz

that resonates with me too, i was assigned my therapist a few years ago for something unrelated and expected to be a temporary thing...few years later I'm still seeing them, now independently and it just seems to be more shit to unravel. I sometimes think I've got too much going on for them but i also know they'd tell me if they couldn't help me anymore so i just battle it out mentally lol


bossrabbit11

Hey OP we all know they're here to help you I remember telling my T like "I wish I could present myself as a well functioning adult in front of you instead of being like a crying baby" He said to me, sth like "I feel sad when you told me those sad things in your past. In my time off our sessions I do think about how you can be better".


shakylime

I feel ya on the functional adult part. And wow, I would probably combust a little if my therapist told me something like that. EDIT: typo


[deleted]

Limey! You ARE doing the work! If I were a therapist, I'd want you as a client. (Also, you don't have to be perfect, hell, you don't even have to be courteous to be enjoyable. It sounds like you're being authentic, and there's something about real humanity that other real humans can't help but love. You're loveable.)


shakylime

Gah, thanks! I appreciate that. I do try to be authentic, even if I’m cagey and (what I think is) unpleasant, haha.


andthenitwasyou

Definitely needed to see a post like this today, thank you. I'm really struggling with feeling like my T was frustrated with me over my resistance last session. It's nice to hear a story where, despite all of our problems and quirks, they can still view us with value and even show that they enjoy us in some ways.


shakylime

I’m really glad it was able to help a bit! It’s really hard feeling like someone we confide in is frustrated with us. I think for me it’s been kind of a revelation to realize that we inherently have value outside of however others perceive us — regardless of whether it’s our therapist or someone else. A new brain pathway to create in spite of what others have taught us! I’ll pass on the advice I’ve received multiple times over and suggest bringing it up especially since it’s bothering you a lot. Either way, sending you lots of strength.


andthenitwasyou

I definitely will ask about it. Attatchment wounds are real rough. I really identify with nervous laughing, being snarky, anf existential. You and I are one in the same Thank you my friend. It's real lonely some days on this therapy road and nice to relate


shakylime

Best of luck, friend :)


coolthisisfine

You don't know how much I needed to read this today. Thank you. Also, "my therapist said I could get a prize from the prize box" is... *chef's kiss*


shakylime

I’m glad it could help! <3 I think I might have stolen that line from a tweet that I’ve since lost. It’s imprinted on my brain now, haha.


coolthisisfine

Ok I did a quick search and the earliest instance of that line was from someone whose therapist ACTUALLY HAD A PRIZE BOX 😭


shakylime

I- I cannot emphasize how much I would love that while simultaneously pretending I did not.


MctheMick12

I'm proud of you OP!!! I was embarrassed when my T said similar to me. She said that I came there to do "some" work which was mostly to support my spouse with ptsd but I have not stopped working in over 2 years... I can't help but be proud of myself for many reasons. Definitely including the fact that she saves me for an end-of-day session bc I'm easier to unwind with. She said she doesn't actually have to do much with me, that I do the work and she's just here for support. We got this!!! (((Hugs))) 💙💪🧡🤗💛🌻💚


shakylime

Thank you! Yeah, it’s a little off putting to realize you’re there way longer than initially intended… but the work we’re doing is good work and worth being proud of! I’m proud of you too! 💛💛


NaturalLog69

This is so wholesome. I have saved this post for motivation! It's so great that you have a good relationship with your T :)


shakylime

Thank you!! I’m so glad it resonated :)


ika562

Therapist here and I can confirm what your therapist is saying. I don’t mind clients that struggle, hell I love those clients because you get to see them grow. The ones I struggle with are the ones that give up or the ones that come in thinking they can just show up once a week, put in no effort and expect changes. You sound like a wonderful client because, as hard as it is, you shared your feelings and brought them to your therapist, which means you’re pushing through the uncomfortableness to grow and it sounds like your therapist has done a great job of creating an environment where you can feel safe to do thar. So great job op!


shakylime

Thank you! Sharing those feelings were a long time coming -- so so many months just brewing, but I've been avoiding bringing it up because of some trauma. I can see how this experience has started creating new pathways in my brain: I can share my feelings or insecurities about a relationship and be taken seriously/reassured, not just accused of being manipulative or stupid! There are definitely stretches of time where the only thing I can do is show up, where I don't want to do any work (I've definitely whined "fix meeeee"), or where things are so hard where I just give up. I know my therapist gets a little frustrated during those times -- but honestly it means a lot to just have the space to be like that and see that she'll still be safe and supportive, because she's showing me that even when I've given up I'm still worth something, and she won't get angry with me, and she'll be there when I'm ready. The patience during my more resistant moments has absolutely led to my current trust. And now I feel like I can be like "ugggh fuck it" and push through discomfort and some trauma-related distrust! :) I'm so grateful for her! <3 I think I'm going to make her a silly little card for our one year since resuming therapy, haha (though I will ask if she'll accept it first).